#and his songs about colonization’s lasting impacts will always go so hard

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Lost and Found

Request: Hello, I’ve never requested any type of imagine so I’m sorry if this request sucks. I just love the way you write post-Azkaban Sirius and I was wondering if you could write something about reader getting pregnant just before he was sent to Azkaban and never got to tell him, fast forward to 1993 and how Sirius reacts to finding out about his son/daughter. Hope this made sense!

A/N: Here’s your request! I really enjoyed writing this, and I kind of used a different format that I've only used once or twice so I hope it reads okay! There's a flashback in this and it’s in italics! Thank you so much for requesting. As always, I hope you like!!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, pregnancy, first meetings, a gross overuse of commas and semi-colons BUT THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING!!!

Word count: 4.7k

1981:

The front door slamming shut wakes you from your slumber. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but Sirius had left so late in the night; you wanted to wait up and see what the hurry was.

He storms into the living room; boots heavy on the floor. His hands run through his hair rapidly and he shakes his head repeatedly as if he can’t come to terms with whatever’s happened.

But then he stops his pacing.

He holds a hand up to his mouth.

And he begins to sob.

He bends in two; sobbing and sobbing, unable to catch his breath from the power of his cries.

You fly off the couch, rushing to him. Wrapping him in your arms, you sink to the ground where he stands, unable to walk to the couch for the sheer emotion taking over him.

It feels like hours before his sobs calm enough for him to get the words out.

In between his sniffles, Sirius manages to choke out, “James and Lily have been killed. Harry taken by Dumbledore.”

Your tears join Sirius’. You think of the family torn apart tonight; you think of the broken hearted man sat at your side. The family he had found for himself ripped from him in less than fifteen minutes.

It was incomprehensible.

They were only twenty-one; they were protected, and they were planning for their future. They had a fifteen month old son who needed his mother and father now more than ever, but he wouldn’t have that.

They had the world at their feet.

And in a single instant, it all changed.

----------

The test come backs positive, and it makes you cry harder.

A shaky hand places itself on your lower abdomen where in nine months, a bump would surely be.

You blink away the tears that are making it hard to see.

You stare at the wall; listening to the nothingness of the empty house you now sat in.

******

The sun was shining when Sirius made the decision that would impact both of your lives forever. The sun was shining when Sirius left the house with you still in bed.

At the front door, he hesitated for a single instant. He hesitated because he didn’t know what was going to happen to you after he does what need to. He hesitated because he so desperately wanted to crawl back into bed with you, but as he closed the front door ever so quietly behind him, he knew he wouldn’t get such a luxury for a while.

Sirius hadn’t been home all day; you had woken without him, but that wasn’t entirely unusual. What was unusual was his constant absence as the day progressed, and soon enough, dread floods your veins.

Remus shows up on your doorstep at some point in the afternoon; looking very much as if he hadn’t slept in days. He paces the kitchen with you; Sirius hadn’t told him the exact details of his plan – just that he was going to right a wrong, and that hadn’t sat right with Remus at all; no matter how much he desired retribution for the death of his friends and the orphan now in the care of his muggle relatives.

You yelp in panic when there’s a knock at the door; mind already thinking the worst.

Opening the door, you find that your mind is correct.

Two Aurors stand there; both with sombre looks on their faces.

You don’t hear what they say wholly; you only hear bits and pieces as your hearing zones in and out.

You hear, ‘Sirius’, ‘Azkaban’, ‘no trial’ and with no words of apology, the two Aurors leave your doorstep.

It’s Remus who catches you when you fall to the floor, sobs heaving from your chest.

******

The nausea rises with the end of your memory. You haul yourself over the toilet, emptying your stomach. You rest your head on the cool surface of the porcelain before dragging yourself to the sink to wash your mouth out.

An appointment at the Healers was needed, it seemed.

-------

The ultrasound jelly is cool as it is spread on your stomach; you shiver from the feeling and the nurse smiles at you apologetically.

“How are we feeling?” She asks kindly, setting up the machine.

You bite your lip, “I’m really nervous actually.”

She chuckles, “All new mothers are, but you’ll find the fathers are the most nervous.”

You want to laugh, but instead you smile wanly.

Using her wand, the nurse hovers it over your lower abdomen, moving it right to left and back again as she scans there.

A few clicks on a button later, she says, “There we are! You look to be about twelve weeks already,” She continues to move her wand, “Baby looks healthy, and is a good size. Would you like to see?”

You nod wordlessly. The nurse smiles at you as she turns the monitor your way.

And for the first time, you get a glimpse of the little baby.

You hold one hand to your mouth, and the other stretches out to touch the screen.

The nurse stands, “I’ll give you a moment. I’ll be back in a few minutes, dear.”

You let a few tears fall as you shuffle closer to the screen, wiping the ultrasound jelly off with the tissue from the side. Your hands grab both sides of the monitor, pulling it to you even closer.

There – the little blip on the screen. The little blip that was your baby.

-----

Remus lives in a flat within walking distance of Diagon Alley. After your appointment, you head there, struggling to hold back more tears threatening to make an appearance.

You climb the stairs to his floor; finding his flat easily enough.

Raising your fist, you knock on the door repeatedly – getting faster and louder the longer Remus takes to answer the door.

Remus yanks open the door to his flat, ready to shout at whoever is making that much racket so early in the morning. His words die in his mouth when he sees that it’s you and that you’re so close to tears.

You brush past him, striding into his flat and into his kitchen where you promptly fill up the kettle and set it on the stove to heat up. Watching for a flame, you know that Remus is going to need caffeine to hear the news.

“(Y/N)?” Remus asks warily from behind you, “Are you okay, love?”

“No, Remus. I’m not, but I can’t tell you until you have a coffee in your hand. And Remus, I love you like a brother, but will you please put on some trousers.”

Remus glances down at his clothing; only just realising that he’s stood in his boxers. He chuckles and leaves you to get dressed; pulling on some jeans and a Henley he finds in a drawer. As he’s getting changed, you make him a coffee and yourself a tea.

You sigh, thinking to yourself that this would be the last time you have caffeine for a long while.

Remus ambles back into the kitchen fully dressed and takes a seat the breakfast counter, “So what was so important it had you waking me up?”

Your fingers tap out a nameless song on your mug as you announce, “I’m pregnant.”

Remus knocks over his mug, sending it and the coffee inside flying across the kitchen. He leaps up from his spot, swearing up a storm as he grabs a tea towel to clean the mess up.

You stand to side, letting him finish cleaning. He’s done in a matter of moments; turning back to you with happiness and pity reflected on his face.

“You’re pregnant?” He asks.

You nod, “Had it confirmed today. They even did an ultrasound.”

You grab the picture of your baby from your bag, handing it to Remus with a shaking hand.

Remus grabs your hand as he looks at the ultrasound. There, in front of him, is a little blob that’s the baby of you and Sirius.

“What are you going to do?” He questions – his voice no louder than a whisper.

You run a hand through your hair, “I’m keeping it if that’s what you’re asking.”

Remus nods, “Are you sure though?”

“I’m sure. It’s half Sirius. We had talked about having children the month before James and Lily were killed.”

“So you’re going to be a mum?”

You laugh, tears shining in your eyes, “I’m going to be a mum.”

------

The pregnancy is tough without Sirius by your side. You find yourself asking for his opinion on everything – from the cot, to the colour of the nursery walls, to the name.

Then you remember he isn’t there, and he won’t ever be.

Remus, however, steps up. He isn’t there to be a father to the child, but he makes damn sure he is there for every appointment and to assemble every piece of furniture.

It’s Remus who holds your hand through the labour, and it’s Remus who hands you your son.

1987:

James begins to get curious about his father’s whereabouts on the approach to his sixth birthday. Question after question leaves his mouth – why didn’t he have a dad? Why were you alone? Did you feel lonely? Do you miss his father?

Eventually, the inquisition from the youngster becomes too much, and you give in on a Friday evening.

James sits on your knee, already invested in the story long before you even start.

“Are you comfy?” You ask.

You laugh at his eager nod.

“I met your father at Hogwarts when we were sorted into the same house. We weren’t friends then, but I knew who he was; it was hard to miss him – he was very loud.

“We became friends three years later in our Fourth Year; your father sat next to me in a lesson and pestered me until I would be his friend. I’m very happy he pestered me now.

“We fell in love in Sixth Year,” You break off, chuckling at your son’s crinkled nose, “Well we did, honey. There wasn’t anything else after that. I loved your father and he loved me.

“When we graduated Hogwarts, we moved into this very house and started to make it a home. Our friends, Lily and James, had a baby and both your father and I were named godparents – we had to protect the baby if anything happened to them.

“James and Lily died after that and it was very sad for both of us but especially for your father as James was his closest friend in the entire world. Your father left the house to make those who hurt his friends apologise, and it led to him having to go away for a very long time.”

“How long?”

“A very long time, my love.”

“Where is he? Maybe we could visit?”

“I don’t think we can. He’s in Azkaban, sweets.”

James’ eyebrows crinkle together, “The place where bad witches and wizards go.”

You nod, “The very same, but your father isn’t a bad wizard. He just made a bad choice one day.”

You finish talking, choked up with emotion. James pats your cheek with a small hand, and you squeeze your son a little tighter; wondering when he had grown into such a caring child.

James thinks over your story; plays it through in his head. He had seen other children his age playing with their dads and wondered why he didn’t have one. He was very happy with you, and loved you very much, but still, he wondered.

“But we still love him, right?” James asks.

You pause; thinking over his question, “I think I’ll always love him, James. He’s your dad.”

“Can I see a picture of him?”

You nod, not expecting this question. Patting his side, you tell him to get off so you can climb to the attic to find one. James follows you all the way; his little legs struggling on the steep stairs to the attic.

He finds you rooting through an old, dusty trunk, chuntering to yourself as you try to find what you were looking for.

“Got it!” You shout, pulling a framed photograph out from underneath some old clothing.

You run a finger over the picture; looking at faces you never thought you would see again. James, Lily, Marlene… Sirius. They all smile up at you as the camera flashes; permanently sealing the memory within the photograph.

You wrap an around James’ shoulder, pointing down at the photograph. “Tell me, do you recognise anyone at all?”

James gasps, “Is that you? And Uncle Remus?” His small finger points at the two figures he recognises the most; Remus as he went through his long hair phases that truly didn’t last long after the photo was taken, and yourself, standing straight-backed and proud next to Sirius whose arm was on your lower back.

You laugh, “That is me and your Uncle Remus, yes,” You point to the two figures in the front, “That’s James and Lily – two of my closest friends.”

“Is that who I’m named after?”

You nod, “It is. James was your father’s best friend; he even lived with him for a brief time. When I found out I was having you, there was no doubt in my mind that you were to be James.”

“Which one is my dad?”

You sigh, shifting your finger so it hovers over Sirius’ permanently handsome face, “This is your father.”

James takes the picture from your hands, holding it closer to his face as if he could get a better look at the man who should have been raising him beside you.

“Do I look like him?” He asks in a small, vulnerable voice.

You smile, pushing the dark hair back from his face, “In all the best ways, sweetheart.”

1993:

Tears fall freely as you flatten your son’s hair. “Mum,” he gripes, “It’s fine.”

“I’m just going to miss you,” You sniffle, dabbing at your eyes with your handkerchief.

“I’m going to miss you too, but we can write to each other and we’ll see each other on the holidays. It’s going to be okay, mum.”

You caress his face, wondering when your son had grown up, “When did you become so wise?”

He rolls his eyes, “I always have been.”

“Okay,” You start, taking a step back, “Do you have everything you need?”

He checks over his belongings one last time, “I’ve got everything.”

“And you’re going to be okay?”

“I’m going to be okay,” He promises.

“And you’re going to write me a letter the moment you get to your dorm room to tell me what house you’re in?”

“I promise.”

“Okay then,” You drop one last kiss to your son’s cheek before sending him off to the train, “I’ll miss you!” You shout.

He sticks his head out of the window of his compartment, unashamed of showing his feelings, “I’ll miss you too! I love you!”

You wave and wave as the red and black steam train departs from Kings Cross, carrying your son all the way to the highlands of Scotland where he’ll roam the corridors as you once did with his father.

-------

Remus is the first to alert you of Sirius’ escape from Azkaban. He apparates from Hogsmeade one weekend; his first words when you open to the door to him being, “He’ll come here, you know that right?”

You let him into your house. He trails after you, checking for signs that Sirius hasn’t already landed on your doorstep.

You hand him a mug of coffee from the fresh pot on the side, “I know that Remus, but I think he’ll go find Harry first. He doesn’t know about James.”

“I know that, but he’ll come back for you. Are you ready for that?”

“I’ll be ready when I need to be and that’s that. I wasn’t ready for my son or for his father to be imprisoned but he was, and I dealt with.”

“Magnificently if I say so myself,” Remus comments with a smile.

“You’re a flatterer, Remus Lupin.”

He laughs but it does nothing to hide the worried light in his eyes, “Send me an owl every week please? Let me know you’re okay.”

You nod, “I will. And you do the same for me; keep an eye on my son, Remus. It’s his first year.”

Remus sits back in his chair, “He’s in my class. He refuses to call me Professor, preferring to answer questions with ‘Yes, Uncle Remus’,” Remus chuckles, “Eleven years already. I remember him being born.”

“You should – you were there.”

He chuckles, “I had to be present for the birth of my godson didn’t I?”

You laugh, reaching through it all, “You were great through it all. I never worried about a thing, I had you next to me.”

“It should have been Sirius,” He sighs.

“You’re right, but it wasn’t. And I don’t regret that for one moment.”

-------

The knock at your front door is your only preparation really. An owl from Remus warned you that Sirius had left Scotland and was heading south. Harry had helped him escape certain death, and a surge of pride and gratefulness makes its way through your body – thankful for the godson you hadn’t seen since he was a toddler pottering about on shaky legs.

“Remus told me you would come,” is your greeting to man you hadn’t seen in over a decade.

“Remus is a very smart man.”

“Isn’t he?”

You stand aside, letting the man you’ve loved for most of your life enter the house he once shared with you.

You make your way to the living room; his footsteps sounding behind you. Your heart races with every possibility running through your mind – it had been hard to avoid the news of his escape, and you wondered how long it would take him to come to you. You were just thankful that James hadn’t felt the need to find his father himself; the sensible head on his shoulders telling him to wait and come back safely home to you.

Sirius steps further into your living room; his eyes dancing around the room he had spent so much time decorating. He smiles to himself; remembering the paint fight you had – he had splattered you with the brush causing you to retaliate by painting a long white stripe down the right side of his face.

It’s hard to miss the photos lining the walls or the mantle piece. His eyes dance over the framed photograph of the Order in favour of the smaller photograph next to it. A polaroid in a frame; taken by Remus on the day that James was born – it’s of you, hours after his birth with your hair still a mess but you’re smiling at the camera, looking elated.

Sirius turns to you; his mouth wide open, ready to say something but then he notices the other photographs of James on the wall – him at three years old; him at five years old sat on Remus’ lap; him at seven on his birthday, blowing out the candles on his chocolate cake.

You watch him from the side, absorbing everything.

Sirius does the maths in his head, and then his eyes finally settle on you.

Betrayal. 

Hurt. 

Longing.

They flash through his eyes and across his face in a matter of seconds before understanding finally settles there.

“Why don’t we talk about this over a cup of tea?” You ask; ready to have the conversation that should have been had twelve years ago.

“When did you find out?” Sirius counters, and you sigh, clearly not to be sorted over a cup of tea then.

“About two months after you’d gone. I was a month along when you went away so neither of us would have known,” You sigh once more, rubbing your temples in a circular motion, “I should have worked out a way to tell you…”

Sirius shakes his head, “No. You shouldn’t. It would have made things even harder in there.”

“How bad was it?” You ask; your voice a whisper.

Sirius’ face pales; lips thinning, “It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemies.”

You nod your head; not wanting to dwell on the tortuous subject any longer, “Would you like to meet him?”

Sirius’ eyes widen, “Are you sure?”

“He’s your son, Sirius. I’ve never hidden that fact from him. He’s only grown more curious over time.”

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Ridiculous. He doesn’t know you, but in time, he will.”

“You’re willing to give me that?”

You nod, “Sirius, love, if you hadn’t have gone away, we would be raising him together.”

“Did you ever find anyone else?”

“It’s hard to date when you’re a single parent, Sirius.”

He rolls his eyes.

“No,” You clarify, “There has been no-one for me but the father of my child.”

“I want to be in your lives – yours and his,” He states, “If you’ll have me.”

“I never stopped waiting.”

Tears line his eyes, making the grey even more striking. “Come on, let’s introduce you to your son,” you say, holding a hand out to the man you would never stop loving.

Together, you climb the stairs to your son’s room. Knocking lightly, you ask, “Love, am I okay to come in? I have someone I want you to meet.”

“It’s open, mum,” His voice rings out and you hear Sirius’ sharp intake of breath at the first time hearing his son’s voice.

Your grip on Sirius’ hand only tightens as you open the door.

James sits on his bed; his face the picture of curiosity. He leaps up when he sees the man standing behind you.

“Mum?”

“Honey, this is your father, Sirius Black. Sirius, this is your son, James Regulus (Y/L/N).”

“Regulus?” Sirius asks; his eyes never leaving his sons.

You nod, “I miss him too.”

Sirius takes a tentative step forward, dropping your hand. He stretches the hand that dropped yours out to his son.

James glances in a circuit between the outstretched hand of his father, his father, and you. With a gentle nod, you convey to James that it’s okay.

James steps forward and folds his hand into Sirius’, shaking twice before letting it drop.

Sirius coughs, “It’s nice to meet you at last.”

James nods; posture standoffish.

You glance between them, “I know. Why don’t we move downstairs so we can about this over a cup of tea?”

“A cup of tea mum? Really?”

“A cup of tea can put the world-”

“To right. Yes, I know,” James chuckles, “Let’s go.”

“Your mother used to say the same thing at Hogwarts and after,” Sirius states; watching his son’s figure make its way downstairs.

James pauses on the stairs for a moment before carrying onto the kitchen where he fills the kettle and drops three tea bags in three pots.

Sirius lingers in the doorway to the kitchen; everything has changed but everything hasn’t too. There was still the mark on the ceiling where him and James got too eager with a jinx, and the cracked vase from him and Remus throwing a ball about was still on the windowsill.

“Sugar? Milk?” His son asks; holding both up for Sirius to choose from.

“Both please.”

James nods before returning back to the drinks at hand.

He hands you your drink first before sliding Sirius’ cup to a spot at the breakfast bar. Sirius shuffles over to it, sitting down in the spot the drink is placed at. James remains standing, leaning on the counter, ready to leave should he need it.

“Mum told me about you when I was younger,” James comments.

Sirius glances at you. You take a nonchalant drink of your tea, shrugging, “He asked. I wasn’t going to keep it a secret all his life.”

“What did you say?”

“How you two met and why you weren’t around,” James states, staring down at his drink, “I didn’t think I would ever get to see you. I’d come to terms with it and then I see your face all over the newspapers in my first year at Hogwarts.”

“Yes, I’m sure that was a surprise.”

James shrugs; not knowing what else to say to the man that had been absent for the first eleven years of his life.

Sirius stands from the stool, making his way to James where he cautiously puts both hands on his shoulders. James wants to avoid eye contact with his father, but Sirius manages to keep his hold, “I’ve already spoken to your mother about this, but the decision comes down to you, James. I want to be in your lives. What happened all those years ago was not supposed to happen and I paid the price for over a decade. If your mother had known she was pregnant with you, I would have stayed and I would have raised you, but that didn’t happen. James, I’d like to get to know you, but I wholeheartedly understand if you do not want to know me.”

James processes the words his father says. His eyes dart to you for help, and all he can see reflected in your face is love for the both of you and pride for how he’s handling this.

He has wanted to know his father for so long; didn’t think he would ever be handed the chance to meet him let alone get to know him. Yet, now that he’s here, standing in front of him, he feels conflicted as to what he should do.

James continues to glance between you and Sirius; the gears in his mind whirring away. Sirius begins to lose hope when his son starts to nod.

“I want to get to know you too.”

1994:

You felt at one with the parents standing on the platform. It wasn’t going to get easier to send your child off for their education for nine months of the year.

“I’ll write as soon as I’m settled!” Your son promises; shouting from his window where he sits with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. He waves and waves as the train pulls away; you do just the same, remaining on the platform until the Hogwarts Express has chugged out of sight, taking your son with it.

An arm wrapping around your waist, and a kiss being pressed to the crown of your head keeps your grounded in the aftermath.

“It’ll be October before you know it.”

You sniffle, nodding, “I know, I just can’t believe he’s gone again.”

Sirius grip tightens on you, “If this is what it felt like the first time, I can’t imagine how you did it on your own.”

“I was a mess,” You laugh, “Sobbing and crying and everything.”

Sirius chuckles, “It’ll fly by won’t it?” – he asks for his own peace of mind.

It’s been less than a six months since he broke out of Azkaban to find out he was a father to a gangly teenaged boy. In that time, a relationship has been formed, and whilst he found himself loving his son as a father should, he knew that the trust built was as fragile as glass – one wrong move and it shatters.

In that time, he had fallen in love with you all over again. He had never stopped, but the love he felt for you in Azkaban was different from the love he felt for you now. In Azkaban, you felt like a dream – like a ghost haunting him with a past he couldn’t be sure was real; it had him feeling like he were the main love interest in a Bronte novel.

Now, however, his love for you shone out of every pore in his body. The horrors he faced in Azkaban paled when he rolled over in bed to find you sleeping peacefully next to him.

Sirius stands on the platform beside you, gazing at the absence of the train. He thinks of how his son had hugged him briefly before boarding the train; at how much that meant to Sirius, that in those few moments, his son had whispered ever so quietly that he would miss him, but he would see him soon.

Sirius thinks of all that he has lost and found, and with one look at you, he knows he has found enough.

*********

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[theseerasures]

Frozen 2 Reaction Post

surprisebitch.gif

this is 5000% because i don’t wanna do other stuff, but is it not poetic justice that i should come back to the tumbls for Frozen 2: Elsa Runs Away Some More

i’m gonna prologue this by saying that by and large i enjoyed the film tremendously; of course since this is 2019 i would have enjoyed anything that didn’t end with Elsa committing nonsensical war crimes before being put down like Old Yeller or pulling a no-homo to transcend time and space (that’s right, i’m hip enough to know about TWO of the biggest media fiascos this year, you jelly?), but the film was enjoyable even beyond that, mostly in how it affirmed my own opinions about the universe

HOWEVER, there were also huge problems that really have to be addressed, and we’re gonna start with those

cut for length and a truly immense amount of spoilers

things i didn’t like:

so the Iduna being Sami All Along thing was, um. bad! it was bad, and really reads like the team trying to cover their asses after the blowback from the first movie. why was it such a big deal for ~a Northuldran to love an Arendellian~ when Arendelle was 100% at fault in the conflict? were the spirits just like “oh the indigenous tribe that has cared for us and lived alongside us for centuries are fine i guess but OH LOOK the whitest among them just made googly eyes at the son of the guy who wants to colonize and enslave us, let’s root for those crazy kids and make their firstborn the avatar”

making Iduna a White Sami and leaning on the excuse that in real life the Sami people are linguistic and ethnically diverse and some of them can pass as white would have been fine if they didn’t EXPLICITLY RACIALIZE EVERY OTHER TRIBE MEMBER ON SCREEN. come on guys, just admit you liked Last Samurai but knew that that exact premise wouldn’t fly anymore

why couldn’t it be just a nice person who saved Agnar? why did we get yet another version of the old Pocahontas fetish?

why did Iduna being Northuldran REMAIN such a big deal to the point that she never told her kids about it and she and Agnar had to tell separate but equal bedtime stories about the same event??

whew i’m so glad this all happened so Elsa, the whitest non-anthropomorphic-snowman character in the movie, could save those savage natives with spears! They Needed Her Guidance

the songs this time mostly...felt like they didn’t really want this movie to be a musical but were contractually obligated to write songs for Disney until the heat death of the universe

case in point: Some Things Never Change was going for the Happily Ever After vibe that the Steven Universe movie had, but it...didn’t really feel earned. we obviously needed a place-setter song, but it didn’t really establish anything about what the characters have been up to or what might be still bothering them, because apparently everything is great! this worked for Steven Universe because it came off of five SEASONS of character development, but Elsa’s last big character revelation that we the audience saw was “wow guess i’m not the worst scum on earth after all.” the timeskip can only do so much, is what i’m saying

Kristoff got NOTHING to work with. i’m not like, horribly broken up about it since i know they had to keep it tight for the kids, but fucking OLAF got a heavier arc than he did, and it feels like a missed opportunity that they didn’t link HIS backstory to the Northuldrans, what with him being orphaned/abandoned/raised by trolls already set up. it doesn’t have to siphon into the White Savior main story at all, just have--i dunno, a few more scenes with the Northuldrans and him realizing that he’s probably descended from refugees who got cut off from the forest

the proposal thing was cute until i realized that they were going to just hit the same beats over and over again with each scene. it should have been resolved in act 1 instead of Kristoff disappearing for half the movie and then tacking on the proposal at the very end. not every subplot has to be stretched out to the end! in this case i feel like stretching it out actually REGRESSED aspects of Kristanna, since it relied on Anna misreading so many signals that it strained believability even for Anna. we’re supposed to think they’ve NEVER talked about this, despite having dated for 3 years and consistently trading off on being the most Extra person in the room?

the confirmation that Olaf’s fingers can wiggle will haunt my dreams

me when the stone giants interrupted Elsa’s conversation with Honeymaren: yOU COCKBLOCKERS

i find myself growing increasingly weary of the now token Disney Wink at Camera, and Elsa rolling her eyes and her past self doing Let It Go was probably the apex of that particular antipathy. showing that you’re so Over the song that made you billions in a movie that you’re shilling to the EXACT SAME CROWD is the most obnoxious humble-flex i can think of

as much as i liked Elsa jumping into the Pit of Past Misdeeds and freezing to death, i think the scene happened waaaaaayyyy too fast, especially if you compare it to how long it took for Anna in the first movie. she’s not really given any time to process what’s happening, and it kind of lessens the emotional impact.

Olaf is gone!! he’s gone, i miss him so much!! i cry myself to sleep!!!! OLAFFFFFFF!!! false. i do not miss him

i distinctly recall liking Olaf just fine in the first movie and actually found him tolerable here too, but wow i was not happy when they resurrected him, even though i knew it was a sure thing

maybe it’s because NOTHING had consequences in the end and even Arendelle, the place that all the characters have been treating like a thoroughfare for two movies, had to get saved at the last second!! Arendelle the place??? we were supposed to care enough about that to want it to be saved?? it’s not the fucking GALACTICA guys! there weren’t even any people left in the town! it’s bizarre that they tried to go so hard in the reparations route and then swerved at the last second. let Arendelle drown you cowards! let the Northuldrans offer help in solidarity if you really wanted the “bridge between worlds” angle, but come the fuck on! didn’t something like this happen with Life Is Strange already?

why didn’t Elsa go to her sister’s coronation is it just like a thing now for her to miss the major life events of her family members

the statues they unveiled at the end were horrifying

things i liked:

a lowkey thing that i’ve always appreciated about the first movie was its willingness to Go There when it came to depicting well intentioned parents who are still mired in various character flaws and wound their kids deeply, so it was nice to see that return and get expanded with parents who had Lives separate from their kids which made them That Way, and the consequences of those Lives often come back to influence subsequent generations no matter how much they try to keep it contained. it’s a good, logical extension from what happened with Elsa in the first movie.

and it’s another Steven Universe vibe, but they can go further with it faster because Elsa and Anna are the hegemony in this movie. they’re the history-makers, so their family drama very easily becomes political, and the lessons they pick up from family memories immediately end up changing the fantasy history landscape. it’s dope

baby Anna’s lil feetsies

Anna wanted to marry everyone and Elsa thought kissing was gross

everyone does feel palpably older! the first movie had a very teen feel insofar as everything was We Have to Do This or We Will All Die Immediately, but this time around all the characters feel much more comfortable in their own skin throughout the movie

everyone getting more than two outfits and all wearing pants

the revelation after so many headcanons of Elsa being a ruthless pragmatist, Elsa always being two steps ahead politically, Elsa being a literal and metaphorical chessmaster that Elsa is...actually just kind of spacey and weird was for me extremely welcome. i think part of this was done in service of Anna becoming queen at the end, but it makes sense. “attack it with ice powers” and “run away” are still pretty much the only two strings to Elsa’s bow. this is not to say that she was a bad queen, or that she didn’t try her damndest to be a fair and just ruler--when it comes down to it i think Elsa still knows more Facts about how to rule a kingdom than Anna ever will, it’s just that she’s also horribly averse to conflict and “pacing in place while blaming herself” is pretty much the extent of her productivity under serious pressure.

what sets Elsa apart (other than the ice powers) isn’t that she’s prodigiously talented, but that she’s kindhearted and extremely sensitive to the emotions and fates of others. (she’s the one who asks what happened to the spirits when Agnar is done with his half of the story.) she agonized over hurting Anna one way vs. hurting Anna another way for THIRTEEN YEARS and still couldn’t make up her mind until she was literally backed into a corner, and even that decision was “run away but FARTHER.” Anna wanting to reconcile with Elsa even after thirteen years wasn’t just because Anna’s love eclipses all; Elsa also left that door open for her, because she could never be quite as ruthless or even SELFLESS as to send her sister away for good. (”then leave! actually jk i’ll leave instead”)

but Anna wasn’t ever the exception for Elsa, either. Anna wasn’t the only corner of Elsa’s heart that she left open--Elsa’s like that with EVERYONE, even people she just met, or disembodied voices in the wild. Elsa can never do quite as many Right Things as she thinks she should, she can never be quite as driven, as strong, as single-minded as she thinks she needs to be, to fully commit to making decisions for other people. she feels too deeply and wants too much, even after all those years of trying to scour herself out with a lathe. it’s what ruins and saves her.

Anna and Elsa being horrible at charades in diametrically opposite ways was the most life affirming thing to happen to me this year

Elsa couldn’t act out ice

the two of them had MULTIPLE conversations with each other that didn’t immediately result in mortal peril!!! what a world guys

Into the Unknown fucking slaps but i’m now REALLY confused about the diegesis of the songs in this movie. i’d assumed they were all happening in story, what with the Voice and the multiple references to Let It Go, but Elsa literally bays at the moon in the middle of the night here and no one woke up??? maybe they’re all just really heavy sleepers who knows

or maybe the staff just take it in stride at this point--oh, Her Majesty is singing and crying again

Kristoff and Anna CANONICALLY FUCK, and not even in the typical cartoon “look they have kids, they canonically fuck” way in the “hey my sister and her snowchild that we’re all coparenting together are asleep on the sled, shall we fuck a mere three feet away without even putting up a divider or something” way

gotta give Jen Lee kudos for making the “Elsa has ice powers because she’s the fifth spirit” retcon make thematic sense. the most obvious way to go about this WOULD have been the avatar direction, but Elsa isn’t the union of the four elements but the union of the spirits and humanity, which is to say that she witnesses them and keeps their memories, bringing them to life and solidifying them with her powers. she’s obviously the best person for the job, since y’know. she spent thirteen years on one memory alone.

wait does this mean Elsa is basically the Resurrection Stone?? buhhhh i don’t wanna think about it

of course Anna’s sword just came from her grabbing it from an ice statue i don’t know what else i expected

i laughed at both of Olaf’s reenactments i don’t know what to tell you

i feel...Some Kinda Way about the discourse saying that Mattias being black is problematic because it suggests black collusion in indigenous genocide, but it’s not my place to comment on that, so i’ll just say that it was a pleasure to see Sterling K. Brown having fun in a role instead of his usual gravitas and misery

Elsa first making eye contact with the icemander, or Two Feral Creatures Recognize Each Other As Such--i can’t believe i thought Hiccup would be the weirdest horse girl i’d ever encounter in fiction when it’s OBVIOUSLY Elsa

ELSA COULDN’T ACT OUT ICE

what a novel concept to have Elsa charging forward while Anna tries to pull her back, telling her to slow down, that she’s climbing too high

appreciated the subtle seeding they did of Anna’s political savvy, what with her actually talking to the lost Arendellian soldiers and restraining herself from making outlandish promises to everyone she meets

Kristoff made a friend!

Elsa met one (1) girl that wasn’t her sister and immediately decided she had to live in the woods forever

Tribe Leader Lady’s reaction to Kristoff’s proposal

can’t believe Lost in the Woods invented cinema and music videos

the sisters at the shipwreck is hands down the best scene in the entire movie, aided by the drastically different palette they used to color this scene--all grays, browns, and blacks, even the surrounding environment, like Agnar and Iduna’s despair polluted the whole landscape. Elsa and Anna look horribly out of place here, like they can’t possibly be real in a world that looks like this.

it really snuck up on me how much this scene is a pivot for both of their characters: Anna’s instinct here is to look forward, to find clues that will point them to the next step; Elsa’s instinct is toward grief and, after the reveal, self-blame. for all her growth there’s still a part of Elsa that sees her existence as the catastrophe that keeps hurling the wreckage of the world at her feet. it’s something that i don’t think she’ll ever be able to completely move past.

Elsa, looking at Anna like she’s the only real thing in the world as Anna tells her that she believes in her, more than anyone or anything

“i just don’t want you dying trying to be everything for everyone else!” jesus fucking CHRIST guys

Olaf’s growing up crisis was mostly just...kinda there for me, but i will say the cut to his horrified expression when Anna said the word “dying” really did get to me

Anna switching between a Formal Court hairstyle and an Athleisure hairstyle is Bi Representation, Elsa getting increasingly more disheveled over two movies is Lesbian Representation

do i Get horse movies now

Elsa happy crying when she sees her mother in the cave made ME incredibly happy--her face is so much more dynamic this time around!

i wanna make fun of her for her stupid Dance Dance Revolution ice magic during Show Yourself but honestly..........fucking superb you funky little lesbian

aw Elsa you stood up to...an ice hallucination of your racist grandpa! in another three years (six years in production) you might be ready for Thanksgiving dinner

Elsa in the last movie: i’m never going back, the past is in the past!!!!

Elsa in this movie: brb gotta go hurl myself into a Pit of Past Misdeeds and turn myself into one of the embodied memories

Anna immediately understanding what went down at the forest before and that even if she wasn’t directly complicit in the violence she benefits from it every day, deciding to rip down Imperialism Dam without hesitation

The Next Right Thing didn’t really do it for me musically but as a core concept for Anna’s character and ethos it fucking ROCKS (pun obviously intended). i was so worried going in that they wouldn’t know what to do with Anna after the first movie other than give her powers, but instead we got confirmation that this IS her superpower: her ability to forge ahead with whatever life has given her has ALWAYS been her greatest strength.

this also explains why she felt so aimless and intent on protecting Elsa and nothing else before this point; Anna isn’t interested in delving deeply into the past, not when every other member of her family was consumed by it. with this she’s finally able to convert memory into action, and she shines.

(of course she couldn’t have GOTTEN to this point if Elsa hadn’t been so convinced that the past was worth pursuing, confirming my belief that the two of them share exactly one brain cell)

OBVIOUSLY action for Anna translates into “make myself bait for stone giants and STAND ON THE VERY DAM I WANT THEM TO RIP APART” Anna you fucking walnut

Anna threw the first brick at Imperialism Dam, actually

the understated moment when Kristoff just pushes aside his own insecurities and just asks Anna what she needs

the shot of Elsa falling into the water after she’s thawed nearly did me in

Elsa horseback riding over the water is. wow it’s the gayest thing i’ve ever seen

Anna’s coronation outfit made me kinda wistful. she looks so grown up! she looks like her mother

(i mean she always looks like her mother they literally have the same face but whatever you know what i mean)

me on my deathbed: eLSA COuldN’T aCT oUt ICE

stray observations:

is Arendelle just a tourist town where one day the guy who owned the largest house was like “this is a KINGDOM NOW I’M THE KING” and the 50 other townies who lived there were just too polite to argue

i mean it’d explain why the queen, her heir, and the heir’s consort could just waltz out of there for a week long trip and leAVE THE TROLLS IN CHARGE

when they first started getting chummy with the Northuldrans i lost my god damn mind and was like “are they gonna give Kristoff a boyfriend and Anna a girlfriend what’s happening”

is it required that female Disney protagonists have to go to a blue tinted place to realize that the magic answer was in them all along now the same exact thing happened to Moana and Rey

Elsa’s ice creations are confirmed to fade away if she dies, which...is a confirmation we needed i guess

why didn’t Mattias and Yelana fall in love to make the Chosen One instead, they had chemistry

(i mean. i know why)

i hope Anna got to yell at Elsa for at least five minutes and maybe slug her for pulling that “i’m going to Mordor alone!!!” bullshit

for a second at the end i was like “are they gonna do the HTTYD thing where we flash forward to ten years later and Anna and Kristoff take their kids to visit Elsa IS KRISTOFF GONNA GROW A DAD BEARD” but no we just had lesbian wind and origami instead

whatever your take on the movie i think we can all agree that the scene where Olaf calls the Irish “a plague on this planet which is slowly rotting it down to the rind and which must be excised” was NOT okay

#'wow i wonder how many words this post is--actually maybe i don't wanna know' #frozen 2 #disney #helen writes meta

[lucretiars]

David Berman: Honoring the Collective Void

In today’s world, through any medium you can write a eulogy. That is the magic of language; no matter the vehicle, if something is meaningful, there is no denying its impact. This is the way I felt when I read musician Kevin Morby’s Instagram post eulogizing the late great David Berman, former poet and songwriter of the Silver Jews and Purple Mountains. Morby writes, “David Berman one-liners are like verbal baseball cards. When you find yourself in the company of other Silver Jews fans you all wanna show off your favorite one. He’s been one of my secret handshakes over the past 16 years since discovering his work.” That same magic of language is something that Berman himself was a master of. A Berman-ism is at the same time instantly recognizable yet fascinatingly inventive. A completely refreshing way of seeing something we all internally experience. A deeply universal and profound observation of life disguised colloquial punch-line. No matter the channel, his fluidity, cleverness, and insight using words could forge some new association to a thought or a feeling that you thought was so deeply internal that is wasn’t able to be conveyed tangibly. In Berman’s absence, his words remain and waver potently through my headphones in my ears and on the page I graze my fingers across. And I think, is there a difference between the power of lyrics and the written word? As celebrated for his poetry as he was for his songwriting, Silver Jews was the initial and primary vehicle for Berman’s writing until his first and only book of poetry, Actual Air, was published by Open City Books in July 1999. After a decade of silence post-Silver Jews, Berman’s newest musical project, Purple Mountains, published an album just 3 months prior to his death in 2019. In his music, Berman’s distinctive baritone growling voice serves as an amplifier to his words etched against the background of melody. In his poetry, his words contain the ability to extend his experimental language further than the limits of a song. Through both channels, the writer is veiled behind the guise of the “speaker” or the “singer”. Both create worlds open to interpretation by the masses. Both can hold facets of yourself and both can be crafted with lies, dreams, and fiction. Born in 1991 wading between the grouped identifications of “post-Generation X” and “Millennial”, I was a guinea pig to the internet beginning at a fairly young age. I grew up online late enough that I didn’t have social media or a cell phone until high school, but early enough that I learned and adapted to the strange solace of screaming out into a collective void. I grew up in the emergence of the digital age early enough that when I hear a specific song, I still anticipate the opening chords of the next one on the album because I’d spun the CD over and over, but late enough that I only listened to music on tapes and vinyl for the experience of it, not the necessity. The Warehouse (a CD palace) was my church, and on some Sundays my mom would let me pick one out that I would later on be able to play on my very own boombox, sprawled on the carpet buried deep in the liner notes reading along the lyrics as they played. Words always meant something to me, and I found poetry in everything: in the comment section on songmeanings.com where anonymous users professed their love for a lost memory that the song was associated with, the comments section on Youtube videos where folks anonymously bonded over the gravity this music video had on their life, and the sprawling cacophony of chat rooms and IM exchanges expressing the mundane yet somewhat magical musings littered with typos and faces made with colons and parenthesis. The internet was there for you when nobody else was. It was a conduit to transform some sort of thought you had inside into words on a screen. Words that everybody else could read. When Berman died, that collective void of the internet erupted. Fans of Silver Jews and Actual Air alike joined forces shared their own Berman-isms on social media accounts, blogs, comments on Youtube videos, Reddit posts, etc. I had always heard that along with being a lyricist, Berman was a poet and had his own collection, and after finding myself beckoned through the screen of my laptop and immersed in the world of Berman’s words, I needed to get my hands on it. Amazon was selling books for $200 a pop. eBay was even more. And Drag City, the record label that produced the book, was sold out. On their website there was a button to select to put your name in for an order when they become available again, and though I was doubtful it would even work, I pressed it. Five months later, living in the same city that Drag City operates out of, the same city that Berman last occupied before he died, I receive notice that my book is on its way. Given my taste for always trying to find some meaningful intimacy in the written word, I held this email I received quite close to my heart. Hey there, loyal Drag City customer web 134064-5, We've actually lived up to our end of the bargain – your order has shipped! Keep in mind that all orders are shipped via USPS First Class or Media Mail, depending on weight, so they may take a few days to arrive and there's no tracking number. In our know-everything digital age, isn't it nice to get a surprise in the mail every once in a while? We think so and hope you'll agree. There was something about the candor and sweetness this message held that enveloped me in a wistful appreciation for my love of words and the power they convey. If I can find beauty in this 2-sentence email that was probably just mass-texted to hundreds of people, sandwiched between spam advertisements and bill notifications, I had the dawning realization that no matter the medium, language is hugely influential and the act of crafting it to deliver a feeling that once only lived inside is the raw and subtle beauty of existence. The difference between lyrics and poems is that through poetry, language is the instrument. In music, the words reverberate against a background of sound. Which is more vulnerable? Which is more exposed? Why did David Berman choose to publish the words he wrote on paper and the words he recorded through song? How do we compare the literary resonance between lyricism and poetry? No matter the vehicle, Berman was equally revered for both forms of work, who honored the righteousness of personal experience and was not afraid to expose despair and honesty through art. Through my dive into Berman’s work, I was thrilled to find hidden connections, especially ones that I couldn’t determine if they were purposeful or not. One particularly “deep-cut connection” I found was through the openings of Silver Jews albums The Natural Bridge and Purple Mountains: a slow, almost apprehensive “Well, I….” And “No, I….” (respectively). These articles prefacing the personal claims Berman gets ready to confess next almost serve to give both us and him a moment to prepare. The Natural Bridge kicks off with “How To Rent a Room”, a rumination on death, loss, and coping, and Berman conveys both unease and accepted reflection in “No I don't really want to die./I only want to die in your eyes.” Purple Mountains kicks off with “That’s Just the Way That I Feel”, a circular repetition of apathetic pleading. Berman sings in an almost comedic honesty, “Well, I don't like talkin' to myself./But someone's gotta say it, hell./I mean, things have not been going well./This time I think I finally fucked myself.” In addition to their trepidatious starts, another common aspect of the songs is the juxtaposition of a joyful, energetic melody and dark, pensive lyrics. Berman creates a tune so hypnotically catchy through the verses (including one of the most clever feats of wordplay I might have ever heard with “I've been forced to watch my foes enjoy ceaseless feasts of schadenfreude”) and slows us down in the hypnotic carousel of insatiability in the chorus, merely repeating: “The end of all wanting is all I’ve been wanting.” The want. How unbearable is it to want? We wake and we want, we rest and we want. We are overflowing with want. In addition to this voraciousness, another powerful aspect of “That’s Just The Way That I Feel” is the fact that these lyrics were the first words Berman gave us after a decade of silence. He illustrates his triumphant return of joyful self-hatred, quintessential honesty, self deprecation, and the confident lack of hope. Not everything has a happy ending. In a particularly notable YouTube video of one of the Silver Jews’ last shows, they jam through a standout song “Black and Brown Shoes” from the album, The Natural Bridge—a fan favorite that includes the palpable and dreamlike depictions of the views around us (“a jaded skyline of car keys”, and “the water looks like jewelry when it's coming out the spout”). Towards the finality of the piece, Berman slows the band, places two hands around the neck of the microphone and instead of continuing with the melody in his voice he reads the next lyric as if it is in fact a piece of poetry: “When I go downtown, I always wear a corduroy suit./Cause it's made of a hundred gutters that the rain can run right through.” After these words are spoken, the melody gradually begins to emerge once again, as Berman drawls the next and final lines in song. The break of song to highlight this almost absurd yet striking musing lets the audience absorb the gravity of the words. In “Pretty Eyes”, an introspective ballad that closes The Natural Bridge, a gentle guitar strums against the concluding verses: “I believe that stars are the headlights of angels/Driving from heaven to save us, to save us/Look in the sky/They're driving from heaven into our eyes/And final words are so hard to devise/I promise that I'll always remember your pretty eyes/Your pretty eyes.” Through an observation alluding to death, Berman illuminates the beauty in physical tangibility against the beauty in imagined personification. Heaven, a beacon of hope is observed against the permanence of memory in the subject’s eyes. Even if everything is lost and through the most delicate nature of fleeting time, that memory will remain. After Berman mutters the final line in “Pretty Eyes”, there is 43 seconds of gentle guitar strumming, almost allowing the listener to reflect on this closing observation. This instrumental decrescendo moans like a lullaby. This purposeful pocket of time in which no words are spoken almost acts as a space in which the listener can consciously do nothing. The song still holds us in its grasp, but we are given the opportunity to mediate on what’s been spoken through the absence of words. “Introduction II” begins the Silver Jews’ 1994 album Starlike Walker. Through slow and jagged guitar chords, Berman drones fragments of words and sentences almost inviting the listener into his psyche: “Hello, my friends/Hello, my friends/Come in, have a seat/Come on in my kitchen/My friends, take it easy”. After these drifting portions of thought, the music quiets and the final lines of the 1 minute song are sung in a juxtaposed conciseness: “Don’t you know that I never want this minute to end?/And then it ends.” This powerful reflection on the passing of time, introduced in such an intimate way, is a driving theme in many of Berman’s pieces. The poem “Classic Water”, which includes brief moments of anaphora and reminds me of Joe Brainard’s “I Remember”, reflects on the past in order to somehow solidify a lost memory into a tangibility. He writes, “I remember the night we camped out/And I heard her whisper, “Think of me as a place” from her sleeping bag/With the centaur print.” (Berman 4) Similarly in “Tableau Through Shattered Monocle”, after eight dense stanzas detailing a piece of architecture, the final line reverberates: “These words are meant to mark this day on earth.” (Berman 12) This remark serves to honor the virtue of personal experience—the power in documentation and creating a testimony of a life. Both convey this feeling of capturing the rawness of immediacy; the long-winded desire of marking a certain feeling or moment in a permanent way—making what has been lost somehow last. The final line of the poem “The Moon” acts as a portal through Berman’s process: “And the moon, I forgot to mention the moon.” (Berman 27) The lack of poetic intention in these words is apparent, yet the notion of needing to include that idea of the moon and the evident affect it had on the speaker further conveys the tenderness in capturing emotion and transitory feeling. There is power in observation and inspiration even in the mundane or ordinary. We cradle the things that we have experienced and use them as evidence that we have lived a meaningful life. In a similar notion of using writing as a vehicle to document and possibly further understand the world around us and how the past has influenced us, Berman’s work frequently reflects on the past versus the present, transcending time in order to unearth the absence or garnering of growth. In “Trains Across the Sea” on the Silver Jews’ Starlite Walker, Berman sings “Half-hours on earth/What are they worth?/I don’t know/In 27 years/I drunk 50000 beers/And they just wash within me/Like the sea into a pier.” Berman converses with himself, admitting a loss of the grasp of how time passes and using the organic image of something so cyclical in nature—the incessant serenity of crashing waves—to juxtapose against the perpetuation of habit. Tal Rosenberg remarks in The Fader about this stanza, “There’s the setup, the mechanical pleasure of routine beer drinking, and then the unexpected curve — the situation’s cinematic and symbolic equivalent, an image that beautifully corresponds to the same elegant manner of incremental decay.” In a similar notion of exposing honestly in the mundane and the contemplations of personal development through time, the poem “The Charm of 5:30” closes with the stanza: “In fact, I’ll bet you something./Somewhere in the future I am remembering today. I’ll bet you/I’m remembering how I walked into the park at five thirty,/My favorite time of day, and how I found two cold pitchers/Of just poured beer, sitting there on the bench./I am remembering how my friend Chip showed up/With a catcher’s mask hanging from his belt and how I said/great to see you, sit down, have a beer, how are you,/And how he turned to me with the sunset reflecting off his/Contacts and said, wonderful, how are you.” (Berman 44) In the perfected brevity of “Somewhere in the future I am remembering today” we succumb to the idea of our past selves, drifting in memory on loop in our heads—forever. Every splice of our lives is packaged into a pocket of our brains—and ranging from the absolute thrill to the dreadfully ordinary, the things that we experience serve to influence the way our present and future world is shaped. In addition to the contrast between the aural word and the written word, therein lies even a deeper contrast in experience through both of Berman’s mediums of work. The energetic connection through live performance and the detached, yet intimate connection through solitary listening. The act of presently hearing a reading performed without the ability to see the words on paper and the act of reading the work alone, able to analyze and study the words on paper. What is more significant? What hits you deeper? What experience feels more comfortable, and what experience feels more as if you’ve bore witness to something revelatory? In her article “Measuring the Immeasurable”, Sarah Rothenberg discusses the transformation of “active listening”, comparing the capacity of digesting music before and after the technologic revolution. Before recorded sound became a staple in our daily lives, she explains that music was only experienced two different ways: “One made it oneself or one was in a room where someone else was making it.” She goes on to illustrate an anecdote about a young music lover in the nineteenth century who hears of Beethoven’s newest symphony. After months of waiting, the piano reduction is received through mail, and she hastily stumbles through the piece, attempting to recreate whatever it is that Beethoven has just released to the world. Many months after that, she takes a four-hour journey into Vienna to hear the piece played by a professional orchestra for the first time. Rothenberg presses, “You do not know when, or if, you will hear this work again. How do you listen?” Berman held the capacity to create a realm of “active listening” whether the words were divulged live or not. The solitary experience and the collective experience were similarly an act of power. He reaches with a certain word or turn of phrase and it acts as a gentle tap on the shoulder, urging us to wake up! Look at the world around you! Wade in the reality of your life, because we are all experiencing it. The reverberation of his words by themselves are enough to create a resounding experience, but the haunting dynamic of this thought is the fact that Berman will not be able to perform live in front of us, ever again. His words ring, deafening, into the void forever. We know that we will never hear new work again. How do we listen? As Morby wrote on Instagram after his death, Berman’s words are a form of human connection. The collective celebrating of his work is a joyful and vulnerable experience, and that power of resonance, with anybody, about anything, is reverberating. Even sitting at my laptop last night as I put the final touches on this document, wishing I was a half-drunk hero on a barstool with a like-minded soul but instead, was I a half-drunk sap listening to the Silver Jews, I felt closer to these words I have been so obsessed with trying to understand over the past month. Berman paved the way for acceptance of the candid displeasure of the world; the honest beseeching of meaning; somewhere that the meandering search for identity can float without pressure to comfortably land. From his words, I’ve learned that that very discomfort of “not-understanding “can be the tarmac for our emotions. The process of coming to terms with the things that we witness and feel is just as important as the experiences themselves. As the man himself said, “final words are so hard to devise”. So with that, I salute a cheers to David Berman. Thank you for allowing the space to dismantle the fear of unknowing.

[sahibookworm]

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish that now has a new home at That Artsy Reader Girl.

It’s finally time to talk about all the books I loved and adored in 2019 and I’m already very very excited. These may not all be the ones I rated 5 stars and I may have even found some flaws in them, but they are all the books which I felt a deep connection to, have already reread (atleast some of them) and I would love to share them all with you. Because I have a huge list, I’m gonna divide based on my favorites for each month.

January

All of you already know how much love I have for Red, White and Royal Blue because I have been shouting about it for the past one year now, but I still can’t stop. My first favorite of 2019, it remained my top throughout the year because it’s that special.

I couldn’t believe I had waited so long to read The Song of Achilles because it’s such a well written and emotionally affecting read that I couldn’t forget it for a while. And as expected, it involved a lot of tears.

February

Watch Us Rise is a powerful YA contemporary with lots of commentary on white beauty standards, fatshaming, feminism and intersectionality. It had it’s issues especially regarding white feminism, but I really connected with all the other themes.

The Right Swipe is a super sexy romance featuring a powerful black woman CEO and a soft cinnamon roll ex-football player hero, while also talking about important issues like workplace sexual harassment and the longterm affects of CTE on football players. I loved Rhiannon so much as a character and can’t wait to see her again in the rest of the series.

Heated Rivalry is probably my favorite sports romance of the year and I can’t tell you enough how much I love Ilya and Shane as a couple. The development of their relationship over almost a decade is just brilliantly written and it is at times both sweet and sexy. The author said she would be writing a sequel for them soon and that sounds amazing.

March

The Huntress is a thrilling fictionalized story of the strength and resilience of women who fought in WWII and survived, and also those who fought years later to bring justice to the Holocaust victims, even when the world was ready to forget them all.

The worst part about Descendant of the Crane is the fact that we don’t know if it will ever get a sequel. This book has so many twists and turns and betrayals that I was on the edge of my seat for most of the time. What a debut.

I wasn’t even gonna read The Priory of the Orange Tree but once I started, I just couldn’t stop. It has an expansive world and mythology, an excellent cast of characters and a sapphic romance for the ages.

And one of my most anticipated releases of 2019, We Set the Dark on Fire is the most fiery and passionate romance of the year set in the backdrop of a revolution, and after that mind blowing cliffhanger ending, the sequel can’t come soon enough.

April

Good Talk is a book that left me feeling a lot of things and with many questions on my mind, because I just found it so relatable and relevant to my current life. Too real and heartfelt, maybe even painful at times, but nonetheless a very important read.

I would have never read Aru Shah and the End of Time if not for some cajoling by my dear friend Nandini, but thank god she did. Because, this book is just so much fun and the elements from the Mahabharata are perfectly captured.

May

Shadow of the Fox is the beginning of one of my favorite current YA fantasy series and it was such a delight to read. A sweet and lovely protagonist like Yumeko, a funny and unlikely ensemble cast and a quest full of adventures and monsters – what more could I have asked for.

The Candle and the Flame is what you would call a quiet fantasy, it doesnt have a lot of high stakes but reading it just gives an amazing feeling. And the setting of the fictional City of Noor is probably my favorite of the year. Such a charming and unforgettable debut.

A smiling fat brown girl on a cover – I was in love with There’s Something about Sweetie since the first time I saw it, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

June

I adore The Bone Witch trilogy but the finale The Shadow Glass is my favorite – this series has the best characters, beautiful relationships and an ending that blew my mind. A perfect trilogy…!!!

And now the perfect standalone of the year for me, Sorcery of Thorns. While I love the adorable romance and the ever mysterious demon Silas, the heart of this story is a love of books and I resonated with it very deeply. The climax fight is just perfection.

One Giant Leap is not great by any means, but it’s the sweetest romance I read last year and I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. And the setting of space travel and a delightful set of nerdy characters make for a charming story that will make you smile.

Hungry Hearts is an anthology that has all my heart – a beautiful amalgamation of food and culture and the importance of both in our lives, it’s a heartwarming read and definitely made me very hungry.

July

My top most anticipated release of 2019, A House of Rage and Sorrow was as explosive as I expected it to be and the roller coaster ride just amazed me. I think I raced through it in a couple of hours because I couldn’t put it down for even a second.

Jade City is a book that took it’s time but once it got a hold on me, it wouldn’t let go. I was tense through most of it and the twists and turns just killed me.

I don’t know what I was expecting from Govinda, but I didn’t expect it to just completely mesmerize me. What an imaginative retelling of my favorite epic. And hatsoff to the author for attempting this for her debut.

August

The Merciful Crow is definitely one of my favorite debuts of 2019, with it’s brilliant cast, fascinating world and magic system, an endearing romance and great commentary on class and oppression. I’m very eagerly waiting for The Faithless Hawk.

Three Parts Dead is a book that is pretty out of my comfort zone, but I just wanted to give it a try and it completely blew me away with the unique world building and magic system. I’m quite excited to continue with the rest of the series.

September

I feel like Steel Crow Saga is one of the most underrated fantasy novels of last year and it deserves so much more hype. It has an excellent ensemble of diverse characters, I loved how queernormative it was, the commentary on war and colonization is on point, and it wears it’s Asian inspiration on it’s sleeve. Love it so much.

Bringing Down the Duke was a delight to read and as someone who doesn’t know much about the suffragette movement in the UK, I loved the setting and getting to know more about the struggles the women faced who were fighting for their rights. And the romance is a lot of fun.

I never knew the whole story of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, so reading She Said which is about the investigation, the scope of it and the sheer number of courageous women who came forward to tell their stories, made me feel all kinds of things. This can be a very rage inducing read but also a very important one at the same time.

Probably one of my top favorite YA fantasies of the year, There Will Come a Darkness has excellent worldbuilding, another ensemble cast which I fell in love with and some amazing action sequences. I can’t wait to read the sequel.

October

Burn It Down is an anthology that really affected me, with it’s number of essays on women talking about their relationship with anger and how it has affected them during their life. I think this is a very important read and I know I will be going for it again and again.

Blowout is a fascinating read (and listen) about the Oil and Gas industry and it’s impact on global geopolitics, and I had so much fun listening to it narrated by Rachel herself. It’s very informational, can feel pretty bleak at times but still ends with a dash of hope.

While Catch and Kill is also mostly about the Harvey Weinstein investigation, it’s also a story about the intimidation tactics used by powerful people for covering up their crimes, and the lengths to which sexual harassment is covered up across major corporations. Hatsoff to Ronan for his work but also for his excellent writing style, because this one surely reads like a spy thriller.

November

I never thought a history book would make this list, but How to Hide an Empire is a brilliantly written book about the unknown (or deliberately misrepresented) history of the American empire which exists till today. I learnt a lot of things here and I think it should be required reading for everyone who want to know more about their country.

This is How You Lose the Time War literally has nothing going for me because it is completely out of my comfort zone, but I got lost inside the poetic beauty of this love story and had to try very hard not to cry in public. Such an imaginative book.

The Poppy War was a great debut and I really enjoyed it, but The Dragon Republic took the whole story to another level and I’m just glad that I decided to read this series. It’s absolutely brilliant and I can’t recommend it enough.

I saw Killers of the Flower Moon on a must read books of the decade list, and decided maybe I should give it a try. And what a riveting read this was. The writing itself is exceptional, but it’s the content that is almost disbelieving to read about, and I wish everyone in the country would get to know more about this bloody history of Oklahoma.

December 

I was definitely motivated to read Blood of an Exile because of the presence of dragons, but this book turned out to be so much more. Almost two very different worlds in one, a highly unlikely group of characters coming together to form beautiful friendships and some excellent twists and turns – this became an instant favorite and I can’t wait to read Sorcery of a Queen.

A very unexpected read which wasn’t even on my radar, The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories totally blew my mind with the author’s storytelling as well the very important themes he was able to talk about within just a few words.

Are any of these your favorites too? What are some of your favorite books from last year? Let me know all your thoughts or links in the comments below…

TTT: Favorite Books of 2019 Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish that now has a new home at…

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American YouTubers Are Making Videos Reacting To Indian Pop Culture To Go Viral

In January 2019, Rick Segall and Korbin Miles’ YouTube channel, Our Stupid Reactions, had 1,800 subscribers. The two Los Angeles–based actors had started a channel in which they reacted to popular Hollywood movie and TV show trailers  —  already a popular genre on YouTube  —  last September, but nearly four months in, it was sputtering along at best. Their videos reacting to trailers of films like Captain Marvel, Creed II, Aladdin, and Bird Box were getting anywhere between a few hundred to a couple of thousand views. Then, one of their subscribers requested their reaction to the trailer of Gully Boy, a hotly anticipated Bollywood movie about a street rapper in Mumbai.

“I had no idea what it was,” said Miles. They started recording and hit play on Gully Boy. The two head-banged through the trailer’s catchy soundtrack and laughed out loud during its funny moments; it was fun, though not mind-blowingly so. Yet within 24 hours, their Gully Boy trailer reaction had 50,000 views; the comments flooded in with Indian viewers cheering them on. The response was surprising — and addictive. “We would love to do more reactions to movies from India, any recommendations???” they posted to fans in the comments section. Hundreds of requests immediately poured in.

“Brace yourself,” someone posted. “Indian subscribers are coming!!!”

Five months later, Our Stupid Reactions’ Gully Boy trailer reaction had over half a million views, and the channel, which now posts videos of Miles and Segall reacting exclusively to all things Indian, has over 230,000 subscribers  — 70% of whom are from India, and 30% of whom are Indians living around the world, according to Miles.

It’s not just American companies that want a slice of India’s more than 500 million internet users anymore — individual American YouTubers are now looking for their shot there too. Inexpensive data and cheap smartphones have helped bring YouTube more than 265 million users, making India the platform’s largest and fastest-growing market in the world. There will be plenty more as 500 million additional people are eventually expected to come online in India.

There’s not necessarily a lot of money in it — the money earned per thousand views through advertisements, the metric digital marketers use to value online content, is substantially lower with views from India than from the US — but it’s a views-and-subscribers growth hack fueled by India’s video explosion that, for now, seems to be working. Once you have a sizable audience and brand, there are all sorts of ways to try to monetize it besides ads. Just ask any successful YouTuber or influencer.

Indians say they find Americans watching videos about their culture validating. “Finally, the rest of the world is seeing us for who we really are,” said Abhishek Sapre, an Indian engineer who lives in Sydney and watches Our Stupid Reactions and other reaction channels. “Most Americans don’t know anything about India or Bollywood or our culture at all … [This genre] really helps breaks the image of India as a poor country propagated by films like Slumdog Millionaire.”

“Indians want the rest of the world to finally hear their voice and recognize them as world players at every level,” said Segall. “It’s being affirmed by global superpowers, and the global superpowers have always been Great Britain and the United States.”

Dozens of American reaction channels on YouTube — the Reel Rejects, the Tide Pool, and ReactoPhile, among others — have found big audiences reacting to Indian movies, trailers, commercials, stand-up comedy clips, music videos, speeches by Indian politicians, and pretty much everything with an Indian connection.

Typically, a channel posts a video reacting, for instance, to a Bollywood trailer, and YouTube’s aggressive and frighteningly effective recommendation algorithm targets it to millions of Indians, the demographic most likely to click it. More views leads to more engagement, with hundreds of viewers lobbing in their react requests in the comments section. Keep honoring these requests and, with some luck, the channel’s numbers snowball.

One of the most well-known YouTubers in this genre is California-based filmmaker Jaby Koay, whose videos regularly get hundreds of thousands of views each from Indians. In March, Koay’s channel crossed a million subscribers. To mark the milestone, Koay, uploaded a dance video of himself set to a popular Bollywood song, which got more than 740,000 views. In 2017 and 2018, he traveled to India and uploaded a series of vlogs from the country to his channel that showed him frolicking around New Delhi and meeting with his fans in the country. Then earlier this year, Dharma Productions, one of India’s largest movie production companies, posted a clip of Koay’s reaction to the trailer of one of its upcoming big-budget productions to its Instagram. Koay did not respond to BuzzFeed News’ requests for comment, and it’s unclear if Dharma Productions compensated Koay in any way for this.

“He’s extremely genuine and his reactions are heartfelt,” said Aniruddha Gokhale, a financial consultant in the Indian city of Pune who has been watching Koay’s videos for the last two years.

Scientists have attempted to explain the popularity of reaction videos on YouTube by saying that they tap into human empathy and our innate desire to form social bonds by trying to understand people’s emotions. Reaction videos “allow us, at the time of increasing cultural difference, the comforting universality of human nature,” writer Sam Anderson observed in the New York Times.

Segall said, “To have outsiders like us with no connection to India to say to Indians, ‘You know what, everything you feel about your country, we feel it too,’ is pretty deep.”

But there’s a bigger reason why so many Indians seem to be hooked on Americans’ reactions to all things related to their culture: a sense of global validation. At its heart, it’s an Indian desire for white validation, a Colonial-era hangover, and something that still plays out in the country .

You can see traces of this in the requests people leave for the YouTubers in the comments sections. One of the most common is to react to a video called “15 Things You Didn’t Know About India,” which features positive, nationalistic facts about the country (India invented shampoo, thorium-based nuclear power, the number zero, yoga, and plastic surgery, it claims). Another is to react to a witty, powerful speech by Indian politician Shashi Tharoor about how Britain owes reparations to India for hundreds of years of colonization.

“I feel proud that these people are learning about my culture,” said Rakesh Kamble, a data entry operator who lives in the Indian town of Nashik. “We’re rich culturally, and I’d like them to learn about it.”

When Life Meets Family, a Georgia-based YouTube channel, uploaded its reaction to the “15 Things You Didn’t Know About India” video on Jan. 26, India’s Republic Day, it racked up a million views.

The channel is run by 38-year-old Dan, his 36-year-old wife Erin, and their three children, ages 7, 10, and 11. The couple — who declined to give their last names for this story and live in the predominantly white town of Flowery Branch, where Asians, including Indians, account for just 1.6% of the residents — said that they didn’t really know much about India until they started doing these videos. “We have a close friend who is Indian,” said Erin. “Aside from that though…” she trails off. Today their channel has more than 300,000 subscribers, 80% of whom are from India, and 20% of whom are Indians living mostly in Canada, Dan told BuzzFeed News.

“Indians are a proud people,” Dan said. “I think some of what they request may be to sort of gain acceptance with the white man. I take it as, ‘Look, America is the leader there, we are the leader here.’”

One of the most common requests from their viewers? To react to a video of Indians who lead Fortune 500 companies. “We got a lot of requests to do that one,” said Dan.

Still, as these American YouTubers grow their audiences in India off of Indian content, it’s tough to shake off the skepticism around how much of their interest in India is genuine and how much of it is a convenient grab for a billion eyeballs.

Ever since Our Stupid Reactions blew up, Segall and Miles have been overtly catering to their core fanbase: Segall posted a photo of himself wearing a traditional Indian kurta on Instagram and dropped a “Jai Hind!” —  Hindi for “Hail India!” —  in a reaction video. Last month, the duo played cricket with Indian fans in Los Angeles. Segall also got a large Hindi tattoo with the iconic line “Apna time aayega” (“My time will come”) from Gully Boy, the film that catapulted their channel to fame, across the inside of his left arm all the way from the wrist to the elbow. “I’ve got six tattoos and every one of them is something that has changed me and had a permanent impact on me,” he said. When India beat Pakistan in the Cricket World Cup on Sunday, Segall posted a picture of Indian vice-captain Rohit Sharma with a caption that (again) said “Jai…feeaking…hind.”

Yet Segall and Miles of Our Stupid Reactions, and Dan and Erin of Life Meets Family, all insist that their channels’ growth has been entirely organic, driven solely out of their love for all things Indian and a desire to cater to their subscribers’ needs.

“The skepticism is valid,” said Miles. “But if I wasn’t enjoying this, the channel wouldn’t be happening.”

“I know it’s hard to believe, but we wouldn’t sell our souls for views,” Segall said.

The YouTubers also pointed out that having millions of views and subscribers doesn’t necessarily translate to lots of money. While Life Meets Family monetizes using YouTube’s pre-roll ads, they said the money isn’t enough to cover the cost of their cameras and internet.

When the channel was an American family blog with viewers who were mostly from the US, he said, the family made $6 for every thousand views, compared to just $1.23 for a thousand views from India. “A thousand views from India are not the same as a thousand views from North America,” Dan said.

The creators are now thinking of other ways to make money. Dan and Erin are in talks with an Indian chat app to run targeted sponsored content. And Segall and Miles are currently seeking funds from their Indian fans on Patreon to fund a trip to India.

“Hopefully,” said Dan, “as more Indians come online and things grow, there will be more companies willing to sponsor us, and maybe the price per thousand views will go up. I’d like to do this as a living.”

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The Music Podcasts You Should Be Listening To Right Now

Getty Image

Music is an art form that enhances everyday life in innumerable ways, but sometimes you crave listening to something a little different while away the hours on that morning and evening commute. Over the last decade, podcasts have risen to become one of the new, dominant mediums for intelligent conversation, impactful interviews, and new discovery. Favorite hosts become something like reliable friends you can return to and check in on at any time to seek out their wisdom or humor.

While there are thousands of podcasts that touch on nearly every topic under the sun, the options for music lovers are patently overwhelming. With that in mind, here are 15 of the best music podcasts to help you discover new artists, or go deep on old favorites.

Related: The Best True Crime Podcasts You Need To Listen To Right Now

Celebration Rock

93X

Okay, maybe there’s a little bias going on here, but Steven Hyden’s podcast Celebration Rock deserves top-billing in any ranking exercise strictly on the merits. Whether it’s his in-depth interviews with the likes of Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant, Father John Misty, or Courtney Barnett, his back and forths with esteemed critics like Rob Sheffield, Amanda Petrusich, Ian Cohen, or Chuck Klosterman about rock releases both past and present, or his multi-part series on Bruce Springsteen and Pearl Jam, Hyden always makes for incredibly engaging listening experience.

Check out the full library here.

Sound Opinions

WBEZ

One of the longest-running music podcasts in the game is also one of the best. Hosted by two of the most esteemed rock critics in the game today, Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis, this Chicago-based pair tackles an impressively wide-range of different topics and genres on a weekly basis, with a kind of authority that only comes from literal decades of experience. With over 650 episodes and counting, there’s no shortage of material here to wade through and discover.

Check out the full library here.

KEXP Music That Matters

KEXP

KEXP is one of the best radio stations in the US, hands-down, bar-none. Operating out of Seattle, KEXP gives a platform to a wealth of burgeoning local and national acts you might not hear on any other broadcast. They bring a similar spirit to their weekly podcast, Music That Matters, which features a wide-ranging collection of songs put together by some of the stations most knowledgeable DJs like Kevin Cole, Cheryl Waters, and John Richards.

Check out the full library here.

Song Exploder

Song Exploder

Song Exploder is one of the most fascinating programs to check out if you’re deeply interested in learning how a song is constructed. The idea is simple. An artist comes in and explains in exacting detail the different pieces of equipment they used on a given track, the ideas that went into it, and even the stories behind the lyrics. Thus far, they’ve had Lorde in to deconstruct “Sober,” MGMT recently unpacked “Time To Pretend,” U2 were on for “Cedar Road,” and St. Vincent explained “New York.” Each episode only runs 20-minutes or so, so they are also incredibly binge-able.

Check out the full library here.

The Art Of Process With Ted Leo And Aimee Mann

The Art Of Process

Ted Leo and Aimee Mann have both enjoyed long careers in the music world, both with bands, by themselves, and even with each other as The Both. And that experience should make for a quality podcast, as the pair launch this new biweekly series in early 2019. Their subjects go beyond the music world into various creative fields, examining the intricasies that come with being a creator.

Check out the full library here.

The Combat Jack Show

Combat Jack

Sadly, Reggie Ossé aka Combat Jack died from colon cancer last year, bringing an end to his era-defining podcast, but that doesn’t mean it still isn’t worth checking out. The Combat Jack archives are overflowing with incredible content, featuring interviews and in-depth discussions with everyone who’s anyone in hip-hop culture. We’re talking old heads like RZA, Wyclef, Lox, and Eric B, to the next generation like Cardi B, G Herbo, Zaytoven and more. RIP Combat Jack. Your legacy lives on and on.

Check out the full library here.

All Songs Considered

NPR

NPR is maybe the most prestigious music podcast platform out there. While there are several incredible podcasts that operate under their banner — you can never go wrong with Tiny Desk — All Songs Considered is the flagship enterprise. If you’re looking to get an edge on what’s happening right now, which albums are dropping, which tracks are popping, this is the place to find out, courtesy of host and musical director Bob Boilen.

Check out the full library here.

Rolling Stone Music Now

Rolling Stone

With Rolling Stone running the show, you know you’re in for a bevy of marquee musical talent. Hosted by cover story writing guru Brian Hiatt, the program featuring a rotating band of Rolling Stone’s finest writers hashing it out over the big stories of the week, or sharing audio interview segments from interviews they’ve recently conducted for the magazine. It’s a highly polished program, and a great place to learn more about some of the biggest musical acts in the world today.

Check out the full library here.

Watching The Throne

Watching The Throne

No musical artist on the planet today inspires as much heated discussion as Kanye Omari West. Whether that means fans ranking his albums, critics decrying his brash personality, hypebeasts picking apart every piece in his Yeezy fashion line, or casual fans wondering where the f*ck the new album is, it’s hard to keep Kanye out of the conversation. Watching The Throne leans into the skid with an impressive understanding of both his music, and makeup. If you’re a real Yeezy head, this is a can’t-miss.

Check out the full library here.

The Vinyl Me, Please Podcast

Vinyl Me, Please

Vinyl Me, Please is one of the great success stories in the music world. From its select subscription service, it’s fantastic editorial content, and its eye-popping subscriber-only store, they’ve turned themselves into an essential component of any real music-lovers lives. That passion also extends to their podcast. Hosted by co-founder Tyler Barstow, the program headlong into a wide range of different topics from Sharon Van Etten’s full discography to the latest War On Drugs album with an impressive degree of authority.

Check out the full library here.

Talkhouse Music Podcast

Talkhouse

Who better to talk about music than musicians? Makes sense right? Talkhouse is the premier place to hear some of the best most intriguing and thoughtful artists out there today discuss amongst one another the trials and tribulations they face in the music industry and the effort and inspiration that goes into their every project. Where else can you hear Questlove from the Roots mix it up with Carrie Brownstein from Sleater-Kinney, or Kid Cudi unload with Paul Reubens aka Pee Wee Herman? Exactly.

Check out the full library here.

Rap Radar

Rap Radar

There are a lot of talking heads out there in hip-hop who enjoying spouting off just to get a reaction. I’m not going to name any names, but if you’ve been following along for any length of time, you certainly know who they are. Elliott Wilson and Brian “B.Dot” Miller are two of the most well-respected journalists in hip-hop history and bring a breadth of knowledge and insight to their podcast that’s incredible to behold. Their recent, multi-part interview with Jay-Z just after the release of 4:44 is mandatory listening.

Check out the full library here.

Switched On Pop

Switched On Pop

Its kind of absurd the lack of good and compelling podcasts that deal exclusively in pop music. As you’ve seen already, the wealth of rock and hip-hop pods are incredible, and it’s disappointing that pop has lagged so far behind the other genres. The best of the bunch is probably the Switched On Pop program hosted by musicologist Nate Sloan and songwriter Charlie Harding. The pair take on their subjects like Demi Lovato, Camilla Cabello, and Justin Timberlake with a passion that never drifts into condescension or snark like others might. Whether you’re a Katy Kat or a Swifty, there’s a lot here to like.

Check out the full library here.

Cocaine & Rhinestones

Cocaine And Rhinestones

Country music is a genre with a very long, very convoluted, very violent, and very passionate history. Hosted by Tyler Mahan Coe, Cocaine & Rhinestones, seeks to unpack the stories and people who made country music what it is throughout the 20th century. You will learn more about famous names like Wynonna, Loretta Lynn, and Merle Haggard, while also discovering less-heralded folk such as Spade Cooley and Shelby S. Singleton.

Check out the full library here.

These Miracles Work: A Hold Steady Podcast

These Miracles Work

There are few bands of the last 20 years that have inspired as feverish of a fanbase as The Hold Steady (and, the flip side of that is there are few bands that have people hard pass in quite the same way as they do on The Hold Steady, too). This podcast series features interviews with band members about the making of their landmark Stay Positive in celebration of that record’s 10th anniversary, giving insight as to the group’s trajectory at the time, and how they continue to exist now.

Check out the full library here.

Popcast

New York Times

The New York Times has long reigned as the paper of record in the US, and lately has rolled out a series of podcasts in a variety of realms to establish its voice in that world as well. Hosted by the esteemed writer Jon Caramanica, Popcast is a semi-weekly series of talks between different writers tackling the major events and album drops of the moment. No topic is too off the beaten path, with chats recently regarding the death of rapper XXXTentacion, as well as American Idol and the Drake Vs. Pusha-T beef.

Check out the full library here.

LSQ

Jenny Eliscu

Music writers come and go with every passing era, but some, through sheer wealth of talent and personality manage to stick around for the long haul. Former Rolling Stone writer Jenny Eliscu is certainly among that privileged set. For her LSQ podcast, the writer switches on the microphone to hold engrossing chats with and about an eclectic array of different artists, from Jack Antonoff and Spoon’s Britt Daniel to Angel Olsen and Danielle Haim.

Check out the full library here.

Disgraceland

Disgraceland

Crime podcasts have become all the rage ever since Serial burst onto the scene a couple of years back, and as everyone knows, the history of popular music has its fair share of bodies. Disgraceland combines the worlds of music and murder together to tell incredible, and sometimes, little-known stories involving some of the most impactful artists of all-time. What, you didn’t know that Jerry Lee Lewis might have killed one of his wives? Find out more about it here.

Check out the full library here.

Questlove Surpreme

Pandora

I think it’s probably fair to say that Questlove has one of the most enviable rolodexes in all of popular music. Fortunately for all of us, he isn’t afraid to spin that thing every so often and call in some of the most indelible creators out there for wide-ranging and deeply, fantastically nerdy chats on his regular Questlove Supreme podcast. His recent sit-down with Jack White is a can’t-miss.

Check out the full library here.

Pay Close Attention

XL Recordings

There are few record labels with the history of XL Recordings. With a roster that has included Radiohead, Vampire Weekend, Adele, Frank Ocean, M.I.A., and Kaytranada, a podcast series featuring interviews with artists from their roster is highly attactive. They’ve only launched their first installment as of the start of 2019, but this will be a fascinating podcast to watch grow.

Check out the full library here.

source https://uproxx.com/music/best-music-podcasts-ranked-right-now/

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Earth Day: Conflict over the Future of the Planet | Global Research

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Earth Day: Conflict over the Future of the Planet | Global Research

Featured image: Photograph from climate march in Washington, DC, Union of Concerned Scientists.

On this Earth Day, it is difficult to look at the state of the planet and the current political leadership and see much hope. In “Junk Planet”, Robert Burrowes writes a comprehensive description of the degradation of the atmosphere, oceans, waterways, groundwater, and soil as well as the modern pollution of antibiotic waste, genetic engineering, nanowaste, space junk, military waste and nuclear, a description of a planet degraded by pollution impacting our bodies and health as well as the planet’s future.

Burrowes includes another form of waste, junk information, that denies reality, e.g. climate change, the dangers of extreme energy extraction and food polluted by genetic engineering, pesticides, and depleted soils. This false reporting results in policies that create a risk of ecosystem collapse.

Political and economic elites want people to believe these problems do not exist. Those in power seek to protect profits from dirty energy rather than transition to 100 percent clean energy. They seek to protect agribusiness food, pesticides, and genetically modified foods rather than transform food to organic, locally grown foods using regenerative agriculture. They deny the reality of environmental racism rather than correct decades of racism and provide reparations. They seek to put profits ahead of the health and necessities of people as well as ahead of protecting and restoring the planet.

Despite this, a growing portion of the public understands these realities and is taking action to challenge the system. People know, for example, as activist Steven Norris writes, that they should be concerned about the impact of carbon infrastructure on their communities and the planet.

Last week, David Buckel, a nationally known advocate for gay rights and the environment, died in a self-immolation suicide as a wake-up call to save the planet. He wrote in a note,

 “Pollution ravages our planet, oozing inhabitability via air, soil, water and weather. Most humans on the planet now breathe air made unhealthy by fossil fuels, and many die early deaths as a result – my early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves.”

The undertow being created by organized resistance is growing, and so is the push back against it. In order for this conflict to be resolved, the conflict must be heightened as is occurring now.

Tree-Sit Protest Of Mountain Valley Pipeline from West Virginia (Metro News)

People Power Escalates

As we write this, tree-sits are growing in West Virginia where people are putting their bodies on the line to prevent the destruction of trees and habitat to build the Mountain Valley pipeline for fracked gas. In Virginia, Red Terry started a tree-sit on Easter weekend to protect her land from destruction. She remains, despite the company with law enforcement support denying her food and water — something illegal against prisoners or during war. As trees are felled she remains, as do protesters in Pennsylvania, who are also doing tree-sits. Their stubborn courageous should encourage each of us.

In Louisiana, a water protector locked herself into a cement-filled barrel placed in the trench of a horizontal directional drill to block construction of the Bayou Bridge Pipeline. Eleanor Goldfield reports this is part of the Battle of the Bayou, a coalition of groups and individuals standing against the destruction of a fragile environment, facing arrest and creating a future together.

In Maryland, people blocked construction then escalated to a tractor blockade to prevent the construction of a compressor station that will bring fracked gas from the Mid-Atlantic to the Dominion export terminal in southern Maryland. People who fought the export terminal for years are now joining with neighboring counties fighting gas infrastructure and mounting a campaign against the Maryland Department of the Environment as Governor Hogan pushes $100 million in gas infrastructure.

People are taking protests to corporate offices as a busload of Lancaster, PA people did when they brought a 12 foot stretch of pipeline to a meeting room, singing songs and chanting, asking “How does it feel to be invaded?” In Bellevue Washington, protesters constructed a small longhouse blocking the main entrance to the corporate headquarters of an energy company.

California’s Governor Jerry Brown was protested when he came to speak at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. Hundreds of people protested Governor Tom Wolf of Pennsylvania over his pro-fracking policies. More politicians will be held accountable in this election year by angry constituents.

The industry recognizes that pipeline protesters are having an impact.  Canada is having a hard time moving tar sands and fracked gas because protests are stopping pipeline investment. Oil companies are successfully being pressured to examine the risks to the environment and human rights from their actions. Washington activists defeated the largest oil-train terminal in the nation.

Protests are successfully resulting in cities divesting from banks who fund fossil fuel projects. Europe’s largest bank, HSBC just announced it will no longer fund oil or gas projects in the Arctic, tar sands projects, or most coal projects. Corporations realize they are investing in stranded assets that may not pay off and they may be held legally accountable for causing climate change.

Exxon Knew protest. Photo by Johnny Silvercloud.

Litigation Raises Risks

Corporations and the federal government are facing lawsuits from individuals, organizations and state and local governments over climate change and environmental degradation. Protesters are using the courts to underscore the urgent necessity for action by using a climate necessity defense. Courts are beginning to accept it, but protesters willingly understand they risk incarceration.

ExxonMobil is facing a raft of litigation arguing the company was aware of climate risks but continued to mislead the public and to pollute. State and local governments are seeking damages and calling for a federal criminal investigation. Litigation highlights the science of climate change and demonstrates how oil giants made immense profits while billions of dollars of cost from climate change, e.g. immense storms and sea level rise, are borne by individuals and governments. Most suits were brought by coastal communities but recently Colorado communities are suing oil corporations over climate change-caused droughts and fires.

ExxonMobil tried to stop state investigations in Massachusetts, New York, and Texas over misleading investors for years about climate change risks. The judge issued a sharp rebuke with prejudice preventing an appeal and allowing the investigations to continue. Oil companies are no doubt behind new legislation in states to give severe penalties to people protesting “critical infrastructure”.

Future generations from Our Children’s Trust have brought eight suits against the federal government over the destruction of the environment claiming a public trust over the atmosphere. A suit filed by 21 youth in Washington has overcome government efforts to dismiss the case and will be going to trial after both the trial court and Ninth Circuit rejected the government.

Environmental racism is also being challenged. Recently a court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency violated the Civil Rights Act for decades of inaction over complaints filed by residents of Flint, MI. Hundreds of complaints about environmental racism have been made to the EPA. An ultimate case of racism is coming up in the Supreme Court when it considers whether the United States must abide by treaties made with Indigenous Peoples. The long history of racism from the founding of the US by colonizing land inhabited by millions, followed by ethnic cleansing of the Indigenous who lived there is on trial. If treaties are law, as they should be, this will empower Indigenous People more.

Change Is Being Created, Transformation Is Coming

The undertow of protest is having an impact. Corporations fear they will be held accountable for the damage they have done. Governments and elected officials are aware the people are angry and their careers can end with the new political culture created by people power.

The beginning of change always begins with education and changing ourselves. While we know, systemic change is necessary, people are also educating themselves about their own own lifestyles. Thirty-six-year-old Daniel Webb was conscious of the dangers of plastic and decided to keep all of his plastic for a year gathering 4,490 items, 93% were single-use plastic, and just 8 were biodegradable. He made a mural of his plastic to educate others.

The US uses 500 million plastic straws every day. Whenever we order a drink, we rquest no straws and share this fact. This consciousness has permeated the culture, now many restaurants only bring straws when asked, and people are organizing “Don’t Suck”  and “Be Straw Free” campaigns to eliminate plastic straws.

More people spend their money consciously using it to buy organic and local, eating less meat and boycotting factory farm foods. We have more power with our dollar than with our vote in a manipulated “democracy” disguised as an oligarchy.

People are also making changes at the community level. Edmonston, a working-class town with a median income of $19,000 in Maryland took  small steps to going green. In the early 2000s to ameliorate stormwater flooding, they gradually remade their town into a green town, empty lots turned into community gardens and  rain barrels were added. Now they have permeable pavement, solar panels, fruit trees for food and native plant landscapes with leaves collected by the city and composted.

In Brooklyn, people began reclaiming land with a vacant lot turned into a nearly 2-acre community space with garden beds, an outdoor movie screening area, a pumpkin patch, and an educational production and research farm. They then got data on vacant lots in the city and put bi-lingual signs on them that said: “This land is your land” and told people how to get control of the area, linking them to a website to help. Since 2011, communities have transformed over 200 sites. Municipalization, or fearless cities, may be a key for creating change toward socializing energy into a public service resulting in transformative cities. These changes are not only about the environment and climate justice but are also about economic, racial and social justice.

Despite the government continuing to invest in dirty energy, clean energy is growing. Wind farming is creating jobs in red states like Texas. The Solar Foundation mapped solar jobs by congressional district as solar is the fastest growing source of new energy. Research has been developed on a state-by-state basis to make the United States 100% renewable by 2050, with a national mobilization it could happen more quickly.

There are many challenges at the national level with corrupt federal agencies tied to polluting industries, but people pressure is still having an impact. The Federal Energy Regulatory System (FERC) which has been in bed with the oil, gas, and nuclear industries since its founding, indeed it is funded by those industries, has been the focus of a more than four-year pressure campaign by Beyond Extreme Energy. This June 23-25 they will be holding a Crack the FERC protest campaign to escalate pressure. The protest coincides with the Poor People’s Campaign as addressing the environmental crisis is linked to economic inequality, racism, and other issues.

The environmental crisis and the mishandling of climate change are issues that are going to make the 2020s a decade of transformational change. In order for people to create transformative changes, we need a well-educated activist community.

The Popular Resistance School will begin on May 1 and will be an eight-week course on how movements grow, build power and succeed as well as examine the role you can play in the movement. Sign up to be part of this school so you can participate in small group discussions about how to build a powerful, transformational movement.

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Kevin Zeese and Margaret Flowers are co-directors of Popular Resistance where this article was originally published.

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