#and going by my comfort level in situations and general bashfulness around certain people

[morgana-ren]

Nasty shiggy playing video games with his captive hc

Okay, you asked for it. I’m not responsible for what’s about to go down here. All the usual trigger warnings for dubcon and noncon ahead. You guys know the deal already. 

Alright, so for starters, we all know this dude is a total nerd. I know some folks don’t believe that he hangs around playing video games for hours on end pre-Kamino disaster, but for the sake of this ask and my lust, we’re going to pretend he does. 

Shigaraki is kind of a jack of all trades when it comes to gaming. His steam account has more games on it than he could possibly ever play in a lifetime, but he likes to have them regardless because he never knows where his whims are going to take him. He enjoys extreme turn based strategy for when he wants to feel intelligent (or smarter than other people at dominating), sandbox games for when he feels like running around and causing general mayhem, hack and slash for mindless slaughter, online for the rare times he feels like being cooperative, etc. Sometimes he plays those stupid shock value games that only exist to be controversial, sometimes he plays horror just to say ‘fuck you’ to the developer because he can sit through the whole thing with a straight face and steady 70 bpm. 

He’s good. He’s very good. He’s a quick thinker and gets the hang of things very quickly. There’s not very many games out there that he can’t beat with relative ease, and those ones are usually ones he just flat out doesn’t enjoy. 

When Shigaraki takes his beloved and spirits them away to his room, it’s very quickly apparent that he’s a nasty little gamer boy. If you’ve ever met a nasty little gamer boy, this adds a whole new level of terror to the “Oh God I’ve been kidnapped” factor by way of “Oh God I’ve been kidnapped by one of those guys”. 

Eventually he’s gunna get sick of you just sitting there watching him play (more accurately, desperately thinking of an escape plan while he clicks and taps away). He likes it at first because in a twisted way, he wants to impress you with his skill, but he’s a nasty little shithead who wants to watch you squirm, and the closer you are to him, the more you squirm. 

He’s not going to tease you, at least at first. He’s going to watch and see how quickly you can acclimate yourself to the situation.

 If you’re new to gaming or just don’t like it, prepare to be miserable. 

He’s a jerk. There’s no way around it. He’s going to throw you into the thick of things with your Level 1 character, not teach you shit about how to play, and when you inevitably die, he’s going to give you the side-eye and say “What do you want me to do about it? It’s not my fault you’re useless.” 

In that same breath, he won’t let you quit. He’s going to resurrect you, sure, but he’s going to make it very plain that you ‘owe’ him for every single gold he spends doing it before the level ends.

Eventually he’s going to grow bored of watching you frantically try and learn the keys and shortcuts and dying every 3 minutes like clockwork, so he’ll put on a training ground level for you.

Sounds nice, right? He’s trying? He’s not. 

He’s going to pull you over into his chair and situate you on his lap nice and inappropriate. His legs spread just so, your ass pressed firm against the crotch of his jeans so that every single time you jostle even a little bit, you can feel exactly why he wanted you there. You’re separated from his hardening cock by literally less than a centimeter of threadbare fabric and he wants you to know that. 

As you try and focus on learning just what in the hell it is you’re supposed to be doing, he’s going to be whispering in your ear the whole time, chest flush against your back and occasionally rutting his lower body into you under the guise of ‘readjusting’. 

“That’s right.” “Just like that.” “Good girl.” “Do it faster.” “See what happens when you listen to me?” “Don’t stop doing that.” “See? Isn’t this fun?” “Keep doing that and you just might live through this.”

Loading screens become the bane of your existence because not only can you see your pathetic, flushed face, but you can see the way he’s leering from behind you. That manic face of his, heavy lidded, mouth agape, eyes glazed, reeking of licentiousness and the barely corralled urge to bend you over the desk. It’s only a matter of time and you know that, but that doesn’t mean you need the reminder.

It doesn’t really matter how good your clumsy little fingers get at the controls. He’s going to belittle you regardless. Anytime you get remotely comfortable with what you’re doing, he’s going to drag you into harder and harder areas just to watch you drown in inexperience. 

Eventually he’s going to get bored of torturing you and watching you fail. As funny as it is to see how stressed out you get trying like hell to keep your head above water with him, he hasn’t forgotten the main reason be brought you here. 

He’ll pull you off his gaming chair and chuck you onto his bed, leering over you and taunting you with that playful lilt to his tone. 

“You suck at video games. Maybe you’d be better at something else.”

He’s in for a surprise if you’re a gamer yourself, though you are arguably no better off with him even if you are. 

It’s a bit of a shock to him when you take immediately to the controls like you already know what you’re doing. If you’re feeling bold, you can ask if he’ll allow you to import your character so you don’t have to start from scratch, but chances are he’s not that generous. 

Still, you’re good enough at what you’re doing to be able to keep up with him so long as you let him do most of the tanking on heavy hitter enemies. He leaves behind the powerful armor and you’re grateful, even if you know it’s not because he wants you to have it but more because he doesn’t need it himself. 

Believe it or not, he’s actually pretty psyched to have someone to play with at first. He certainly wasn’t expecting to be pleasantly surprised by kidnapping someone who is equally skilled in gaming, but it’s nice that he has something in common with you other than wanting to fuck you into the mattress. He can’t do that all the time so it’s good to know there will be something he can enjoy during the down time. 

Eventually he’s going to kick things up a notch and fight you one on one. You have pretty much no chance at winning against him with his hyper-powered character versus your brand new one, but you’ll put up one hell of a fight.

“Hey, you’re pretty good at that.” “Skilled at it huh? You probably have a lot of practice.” “Don’t let me get you on your back, now.” “Stop struggling.” “Aw, are you gunna cry?” “You look good beneath me.” “Don’t make me put you in your place.” “The way you’re playing, I’m starting to think you like it when I dominate you.” 

It’s inevitable that you’ll lose. Truth be told, you could play a lot better without his thinly veiled suggestive remarks, and you’re certain he knows that. He doesn’t miss the look on your face, filing it away for later. 

After he’s beaten you down enough, he’s going to just watch you play with unnerving intensity. It’s hard to focus when you can literally almost feel him ogling you, but you do your best. Though even as his cock is straining against his jeans, he’s still an insufferable know-it-all at gaming. You’re not sure which is more unnerving: the fact that he’s constantly bashing your build and belittling your strategy, or the fact he’s completely shameless in being openly lewd when he does it. 

Still, Tomura is a man of action, and sitting and watching doesn’t do much for him. After a bit, he’ll tell you to log out and pat the seat beside him on the messy bed. Stall all you want, but eventually you will end up doing what he wants, and you know as well as he does what’s coming next, and if you didn’t, the fact he’s undoing his zipper with that heinous smile spreading across his face would clue you in real fast. 

“You’re pretty good at games. That’s good. But I wanna see if you’re as good at other things now.”

#Anonymous #NSFT #its been a week and i already forgot how to format these posts #lemme know if i missed anything #Nasty stuff under the read more

[mustlovemustypages]

Yuletide 2020 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I truly hope all is well with you and yours. No matter what state you find yourself in, my wish is that Yuletide boosts your spirits and gives you the extra jolt we all could use to usher in the new year. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and thank you in advance if you decide to write anything for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Little Women (2019):

Characters: Amy March and Theodore “Laurie” Laurence”

The main reason I adore this adaptation is because it made me see why Amy and Laurie ended up together. They had very similar worldviews and fit so well what the other needed. Both deserved to be with someone that valued them for who they are. With Laurie, Amy was not just financially secure but with someone who encouraged her to express herself creatively, politically, or however she chose. With Amy, while she grounded Laurie in reality and challenged him to be the best version of himself, he didn't have to fundamentally change to make her happy.

Story ideas:

These quotes really show how Amy's perspective on life was different than her sister's: "You are your family's hope." (Aunt March) "I’ve always known I would marry rich." (Amy March) That's a lot of pressure on someone so young. We heard some of Laurie's thoughts, mostly that he didn't think Amy should feel ashamed for wanting that. How would some of that pressure continue even after she got married, and what would Laurie say to make her realize they were in life together as a team and she didn’t have to suffer the weight of the world alone?

The conversation between Amy and Laurie in the painting studio showed just how level-headed and intelligent she was. Laurie, while not wholly agreeing, was respectful and didn't discount her thoughts. It would be interesting to see the impact on their story if Vaughn hadn't arrived, and this had played out more. Would the proposal have happened earlier and/or how would later scenes be altered as a result of further conversation?

What did the other characters think of Amy and Laurie's relationship, and how did it change after seeing them interact more as a couple? It would be interesting to read about Meg, Marmee, John, or some of the other characters realizing they were genuinely a good match for each other.

Post-canon, I'd love to get a glimpse of what kinds of conversations they had. Did Amy encourage Laurie to pursue a career and find what he was passionate about (music perhaps as Laurie mentioned writing an opera)? And similarly, did Laurie encourage Amy to pursue her art? Did they continue to have in-depth conversations about societal pressures and expectations of gender in certain economic classes?

Tenet:

Characters: The Protagonist, Kat, and Neil

Tenet is the first movie I've seen in theaters since Star Wars IX. There have been some mixed reviews, but my love for Christopher Nolan sci-fi films combined with the experience of stepping foot in a theater again made it a wonderful experience for me. Sure, the plot could be confusing at times, but it was fun trying to fit certain puzzle pieces together and oh so thrilling when things just clicked into place in the most satisfying ways.

I adored the dynamic between Neil and the Protagonist. The easy friendship, the banter, the suits... everything. I also loved the relationship between the Protagonist and Kat. It started off as each using the other but transformed into one of genuine care on both sides. Ever the romantic, I definitely saw something more than just friendship between the two and was slightly disappointed the movie didn't explore that aspect more.  

For pairings, I’m interested in friendships between all of the characters. I’d be interested in seeing a romantic relationship between Kat and the Protagonist if you’re up for that, but not between Neil and Kat, nor Neil and the Protagonist. If you really want to give a romantic partner to Neil, I'd be fine with Laura (or an original female character if she’s not the focus of the story), but please, no slash. While I’d be ecstatic to see all three characters together, if you can only find a way to fit in two, that’s wonderful as well!

Story ideas:

Even though Andrei Sator is gone, there are still other players in the game, some like Priya, who want to eliminate Kat or even abduct her with the delusional idea she can continue her husband's work. The Protagonist (and Neil, if you so choose) ensures no harm comes to her, and he realizes that keeping her at a distance may not have been the best idea.

I personally don't buy into the fan theory that Neil is Kat's son Max; however, I do find the idea intriguing and would be up for reading about how that worked. The Protagonist breaks his rule and sees Kat, helping to raise her son Max/Neil and eventually teaching him about inversion.

The Protagonist doesn't have to wait quite as long as he'd thought to see Neil again. It can be the Neil who had already met him and knows about Tenet or the Neil who knows nothing about inversion.

What conversations did Neil and Kat have while the Protagonist was asleep after almost freezing to death? Maybe Neil explained the finer workings of Tenet and inversion more in-depth. Perhaps they discussed the Protagonist. 

Clueless:

Characters: Cher Horowitz and Josh Lucas

This movie set the bar high for teen romantic comedies. How can anyone ever beat 90s Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd? Plus, the relationship between their two characters is fantastic. Josh and Cher just bring out the best in each other. Cher shows Josh that he doesn't need to be so serious all of the time and that people are more than their outer appearances. Josh makes Cher want to be a better person, and he believes that she's not just a pretty face. Their banter and playful moments always make me smile.

Story ideas:

Knowing Josh and Cher end up together, this brings a heightened awareness to rewatches. They have so many casual touches and exchanged glances (when did Paul Rudd's eyes get so blue?) that it's hard to miss their natural chemistry. It may take quite some time for Cher's dad to notice anything has changed because they don't act all that different from before. Is there something that makes him finally take notice? How does he react?

Sort of related to the last prompt, there's a moment where Josh decides to go to the dance to keep an eye on Cher and Christian, and you can tell by Mel Horowitz’s smirk he realizes Josh has a crush on Cher. Does he do anything to push it along or play matchmaker just like his daughter?

I've always been curious about whether or not Josh believes Cher's story about being assaulted in the car by Elton and then held at gunpoint. We skip over Josh pulling up to the phone booth and go straight to Cher already being in the car. How did Josh react when she reiterated the story, and does he instantly believe her, or does it take some convincing? I'd like to see if he comforts her and if they both go together to tell Cher's dad what happened.

Cher is obviously very intelligent socially, if not always so much academically. When it comes time to apply for college, what does she major in? And how is Josh a positive influence in Cher's life, encouraging her to be ambitious and not letting negative comments from guidance counselors or teachers dissuade her?

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Little Women into a supernatural werewolf story or have Tenet take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND at least happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Happy writing and I hope you get the Yuletide gift of your dreams!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)

#little women #little women 2019 #amy x laurie #theodore laurence #laurie #amy march #tenet #the protagonist #neil #kat #clueless #josh x cher #cher horowitz #josh lucas #yuletide 2020 #yuletide letter #yuletide

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

thank you for coming up with that ship name, it's so pretty <3 Anyway have a Faywood HC: Penny crushes on Aurelie in the early years before slowly realizing that Aurelie doesn't appreciate her (I agree with you she was so shallow) and realizing Luca lied about the trinket when Aurelie has no memory of giving it to her. But she's not mad ofc, she's touched <333

...I don’t know what inspired me to write this. I don’t even particularly ship Luca with Penny in general, but I guess you caught me in the right mood, and I’ve enjoyed our back n forth, and somehow this just came spilling out of my fingertips. I hope you enjoy - 

Dear Jacob,

I’ve told you this before, no doubt, but I really dislike lying. Especially to friends. A first year could tell you as much, that it’s wrong to deceive the people you care about...and yet I’ve done it, time and again. I kept my misgivings about Rowan a secret and that led to us falling out for months. I had my reasons, and Rowan themself has even said they were understandable, but that fight was still my fault. But there have been other times as well. I lie to cover for Talbott and Chiara virtually any time I talk about them. And in those cases, I genuinely think I’m doing the right thing. That’s the trouble, lying sometimes feels like it would be the right thing to do, for the best outcome all around, so that's what I wind up doing. 

It’s what I did to Penny, when her pen-friend visited from France. I lied, more than once, to protect her feelings. First by keeping my suspicions quiet, and second by giving her that ornament “from Aurelie” when it was not, in fact, from Aurelie at all. Well, it was from her...to me. But it should have gone to Penny if you ask me, so it did go to her...from “Aurelie.” and by that I mean me. 

Of course, I was only a second year at the time and I didn’t really think it through. Didn’t have a contingency plan for getting caught in the lie, and I probably should have thought of that. For all I knew, Penny could have immediately written to her pen-friend to thank her. But it never came back to haunt me like lying to Rowan did, so with time, I mostly forgot about it. Until tonight.

I’m pacing around the Hufflepuff Basement, looking for a certain Mitten who is not yet awake for her breakfast. With term having ended and the winter holiday begun, most of our friends have left school. Most of us. Rowan’s sticking around and we’re making up for lost time, (not like Mum wants to see me anyway, apparently…) and Penny’s parents would have to drag her home in chains - she’s not about to leave Beatrice stranded for Christmas. So there aren’t too many people to ask about my cat’s whereabouts. 

Just as I’m thinking about leaving to search for her by the dungeons, in case she’s seeing Bitten, I hear a familiar “Mrooow…” from within the girl’s dormitory. Door isn’t shut, so I peer inside to see Mitten on the floor, rolling around with whatever stray object she has claimed ownership of this time. It’s blue and looks far too fragile for her to be batting it around, but that’s Mitten. In another moment, I blink and recognize it - Penny’s ornament. 

I’m about to step inside and extract the makeshift “toy” from Mitten’s hold, when I see that Penny is already there, sitting on her bed and watching the show. Okay, well, that’s good - at least playtime has permission this time. I still owe Diego a new Ballycastle Bats poster...and to this day, I have no idea how Mitten knocked it down from the wall to convert into a scratching post.

“Hope you’ve worked up an appetite.” I call out to Mitten gently, holding up her breakfast bowl and waving it slowly. Mitten looks up, and I swear her eyes dilate before she dashes over to circle me, mrowing up a storm. “Okay, okay, right here…” I lead her away from the ornament, setting the bowl down and rewarding her with head rubs as she chows down, before glancing back up at Penny. “Thanks for that.” I really owe her one for her patience. 

Penny stares back at me with an odd, misty look in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything at first, and I don’t press her too. These haven’t exactly been easy times for her, Jacob. For the past two weeks, someone - usually me or Tonks - has to gently tug her away from Bea’s portrait so that she doesn’t sleep there. It’s no exaggeration to say that she’s a wreck. Still, she’s been brewing a calming draught to help quell her nerves, and when she takes it, that does seem to help. I can’t tell if she took some last night or not (I camped with Rowan) so I slowly approach, keeping an eye on her. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Penny doesn’t answer, and I feel fear rising in my heart that she may have had another nightmare. Like most things, they aren’t as bad when she takes the calming potion, but they still happen from time to time. Yet when I study Penny’s face, she doesn’t look upset. Emotional, maybe, but...not upset. Sitting down next to her I notice she’s holding something in her hands - a letter, by the looks of it. With very fancy handwriting. Penny has lovely handwriting, nothing like your wild chicken scratch, but she didn’t write this. She must have received it. Trying not to pry, I keep my face level with hers, before she folds up the letter and sets it aside. 

“You know, three years ago.” She speaks softly, and turns to look at me. “You told me that the blue ornament was a gift from Aurelie.” I feel my heart skip a beat. An old lie resurfacing, one I haven’t thought about in ages, and now I’m caught with no excuses. Yet Penny, predictably, doesn’t appear to be angry with me. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. “But we’ve been trading letters, and she asked about you. Asked if you ever wear the robes she got you, or if you kept the trinket she gave you.” I...have never worn those robes in  my life, I’ve only just realized. Not even sure where they are. But never mind that, Penny’s frown is a gentle one. “Why did you tell me it was for me?” 

I bite my lip, feeling the back of my neck heat up and I’m not sure why. But no, it’s time to come clean. “Because...because it should have been.” Maybe I’ve matured, maybe things are just coming together, but my fifth year has really led to a lot of conversations that should have happened ages ago. Making up with Rowan, making up with Jae...Tulip and Merula finally made up this year, in a sense...and now there’s this. “I’m sorry Penny, I guess I just didn’t want to spoil anything for you. But I…” Slowly rubbing the back of my neck, why is my skin prickling so much? “I feel like Aurelie should have gotten something for you, not me. You’re the one she’s closer to, and you were the one she lied to, back then…” I hesitate from going any further. Whatever my feelings, I’m not going to bash someone she cares about. 

Penny is looking down, her hair falling in her face. Jacob, have I ever mentioned that she has the most intense case of bedhead that any human being has ever had before? We both agree Tonks’ would be worse if her hair was actually long, but it’s not, and Penny’s practically hidden by a straw nest by now. Which is why...damn, I’m not sure what makes me do it, but it’s not like we’ve never been affectionate before. Still, I don’t know why I decide to start pushing her hair out of her face, but that’s what I do. 

Looking at me, she shakes her head, taking my hands. “No no, I’m not upset with you Luca. I just didn’t understand.” For the first time, she laughs a little. That is a good sign - she’s definitely still medicating with the calming draught. “Thought I may have just badly needed some morning tea. No, I...appreciate it. A lot, actually.” Her eyes meet mine, and I don’t let go of her hands. “Aurelie and I haven’t been writing to each other as often these days, though that’s at least partially my fault. I haven’t had the energy to write to anyone these days.” 

“That isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” I try to comfort her, but it’s never easy. There’s nothing that can be said to fix her situation, no spell to be cast. We simply have to break the curse - but we’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again. “You’re doing your best, and whatever that is right now, it’s enough.” I promise her. The room falls silent, except for the soft sounds of Mitten munching on her breakfast nearby. 

Penny shuts her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. “I hope that’s true. It’s taken me awhile to realize it but, even when I give everything I have, people don’t always give the same amount back.” My stomach twists slightly. If she’s talking about Aurelie, I’m hesitant to agree even now, though of course I do...maybe I just need to listen and let her get this off her chest. I’m not sure. “I know that no one is required to give any amount of effort, but sometimes you-you’re led to believe they will, or that they want to, and...oh, I don’t know. Maybe she and I are simply growing apart. Maybe we’ve grown into different people. I’m certainly not the same.” 

“No, you’re wiser than you used to be,” I respond softly, squeezing her hands. “You’ve seen more of the world and not all of it is nice, but you still see the nice things. You ARE one of the nice things. Now, I haven’t talked to Aurelie in years, so, it’s probably not fair for me to make judgements, but...if she’s taking you for granted, she definitely hasn’t grown any wiser.” I had to hold myself back from saying that she was “still” taking Penny for granted, but it’s true. 

Penny sniffs. I don’t think she’s going to cry, but she’s usually closer to breakdowns than even I am these days. Bowing her head, she lets our foreheads nudge together and with no real rhyme or reason, we just stay like that for a while, still with our hands clasped. “Thanks Luca…” She finally whispers, sniffling again before sitting up more. Lifting her arms, I feel her cup my face, feel lips brush my forehead. After another moment’s pause, she sighs. “I need to start getting ready for my day, or I’ll lose my mind...am I keeping you from anything, or can you stay…?” 

I nod, knowing full well that Penny’s morning schedule lasts an hour at least. “I’ll be here.” 

Love, Luca

#Luca Fawley #Penny Haywood #Faywood #HPHM Fanfiction #HPHM Fanfic #Penny Haywood x Jacob's Sibling #Penny Haywood x Luca Fawley

[venus-says]

Healin' Good Precure Episodes 21-30

Hope you're comfortable and have your reading glasses on because I'm about to rant.

It has been a long time since I came here and bashed my thoughts on this show for young kids, but you know? It feels like just a couple of weeks have passed.

And I say this because to my surprise, and maybe disappointment, not a lot happened in these 10 episodes. Does it mean it was bad? Not necessarily. Excluding maybe 2 or 3 episodes, I had a great time binge-watching these last episodes in the past three days.

Usually, in a Precure season, the episodes that follow the debut of the mid-season Cure are used to insert the new character in the team, create connections with each member, make us feel like the newcomer belongs here. In Asumi's case, these episodes also had the function of building her as a character since she's someone who literally just appeared out of thin air. And these episodes haven't done either of those things, in my opinion. I came out of these 10 episodes with the same basic information I had from last time, she's clueless, she's obsessed with Rate, as a Cure she is gorgeous and cool as heck, but maybe a little too overpowered. I know nothing about Fuurin Asumi.

One can argue "well, she was just brought to existence, it's obvious you know nothing about her because there's nothing learn", but that doesn't mean that they couldn't build her character. They decided that her whole thing would be learning about human emotions(?) and they could've chosen some specific points that would help her to build her personality and her character, give her goals and ideals, a reason for her to be a main character in this story. And while we see evidence that she has learned the meaning of those words and she can recognize them on herself and in other people, this is not a personality is just a computer recognizing patterns.

The feeling I had while watching these episodes was that she was a blank canvas just so that the writers could use her as a jack-of-all-trades for whatever situation they were trying to build in the episode. And this inconsistency with her is pretty evident, I mean in one episode she exhibits a lack of knowledge about basic human feelings, but then she suddenly knows what rap is even though we haven't seen a single instance of her having contact with it, and then later we see she giving Grace life advice.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed and had fun with Asumi in those isolated instances, it's because of them that even with all the problems I have I still like Asumi VERY MUCH, the thing is that this isn't an episodic show where each story is centered on itself and there's not a bigger picture to be seen, this is a continuous narrative so just isolated moments aren't enough. Imagine how much more meaningful it would have been if the words they decided to explain to Asumi were things that deeply connected with her, imagine how much more fun the rap gag would've been if we had seen before she going out on her own and meeting with random people on the street and we had a precedent of her knowing something that was weirdly very specific and seeing that being brought up in the future as her unique comedy gag, imagine how much more meaningful her words to grace in episode 29 would've been if we had seen her gain that level of understanding of human emotion in a way that wasn't by just explaining the definition of that word in a dictionary.

The reason why this "arc" feels so frustrating is that the basis for something great is all there, they just don't use it at it's fullest which makes her, who could've been the most interesting character the Precure franchise has ever seen, just another one, and that hurts. Because I freaking love this spirit lady and I wanted her to be more.

Overall rant is done, let's talk about each individual episode, shall we?

I know it doesn't seem like it, because I've written around 600 words of how disappointed I was, but I had a great time doing this mini-marathon to catch up with the show. I don't know if it was because it had been so long since I watched something Precure related, or if it was because my expectations were low since even though I try to avoid seeing other opinions before I write my own reviews since it has been so long I couldn't really avoid that and those comments weren't really that positive, or if it was because I was live-tweeting my impressions instead of taking my usual notes. but overall my experience was great. Even in the episodes I didn't like or had major issues with, it wasn't to a point where it made me regret the decision of getting back to this show so most of these are going to be very positive.

Except for the final three episodes, I'm not doing these in the correct order so I decided to leave the episodes I disliked for last. I'm probably going to go overboard with the negativity in those ones so if you don't wanna any of that you can leave before me going in the mean territory.

Anyway, Episode 21. That was a very fun one, it had a good combination of comedy with endearing moments and even bigger picture stuff. It was still early on Asumi's journey so her cluelessness was very fun and endearing and I had some great laughs with that one (that moment where she struggles with the chopsticks was my favorite bit. I also liked seeing Nodoka work her way around to let Asumi stay at her house, I like how straight-forward it was and how the lie developed after it, I don't know how Nodoka's parents bought the story but I loved it. The theme for Asumi this time was learning about empathy (I think?) and she and Nodoka had some great exchanges in the episode. Getting more development with the Mega Parts was also good, there were interesting bits of information like how to harvest them and that they can be injected in the Mega Byougens by anyone, it doesn't need to be the one who began the infection. Also, the group roll call was very cute, I love Rate touching paws with each of the healing animals, and the new eyecatches are cute as hell!!!! I also liked the special intro bit with Nodoka and Asumi, I wish they did things like that more.

Episode 22 was a bit weird. The lesson of the episode was about the word "like", but it was a bit confusing. It seemed that the point they were trying to make is that liking sometimes it's hard because is something you can't control, but it didn't connect very much with the conflict between Rate and Asumi? I think very valid and important points were raised throughout the entire episode, but in the end, to me, it felt more like a plot about empathy, because Asumi wasn't being considered of Rate's feelings and the resolution for the main conflict in the episode was about that, but I can also see the logic behind what they were doing it's just that they could've been more clear in that aspect. Regardless, this episode gave us the starting point for one of the relationships I enjoyed the most in this run that was Chiyuu and Asumi getting along so well, I honestly thought Asumi would be more connected to Nodoka and the animals, but she has a lot of chemistry with Chiyuu and it was a delightful surprise discovering this friendship.

Of the initial episodes to connect with each Cure, Episode 23 was probably the weakest. I think Hinata and Asumi didn't really click for me when they were together, and teaching her the concept of "cute" didn't seem all that useful to me, the impression it gave me was that they couldn't think of anything else meaningful Hinata could bestow on Asumi and they went with the easy route instead of putting in the work to make something bigger. With that being said, I really appreciate that in no moment of the episode the show tried to tailor Asumi for her to think that only one thing that follows a certain aesthetic pattern can be considered cute, I was very afraid of that happening and it was a huge relief to see that it hasn't happened. One curious thing about this episode was the Cures directly interacting with civilians, has that already happened and I just forgot about it? Or was this the first time? That got me really curious.

Episode 24 was a mixed bag, it introduced elements that I liked but it overall gets ruined by what I've mentioned at the start and also because it can be summed down to Spirit Lady Too OP. The thing I liked the most in this episode was seeing Asumi connect with another adult human, it was a nice interaction that I was really into it and that I hope keeps happening in Asumi episodes, to me it was an example of interesting interaction outside the Cures' circle that could be meaningful for building Asumi's character (if they were really concerned in building her one). I was also pretty excited for a new general and Nebusokku seemed to have enough to be a fun character, sadly he was defeated in the same episode which was kinda disappointing and it left me with the Batetemoda blues. There was also the portal stuff that was random and it never happened again and, I don't know, it just felt way too convenient. Spirit Lady is too OP and, sadly, that's a problem.

Surprisingly enough, Episode 26 was one of my favorites. I know it's just a clip show, but you can see that they cared enough to make this feel like a genuine episode and not just something that you can skip if you want. Maybe they could've put a little more of care into it since they made the big mistake of saying Asumi wanted to do a Rate Diary but all the questions and recollections Asumi got were from everyone BUT Rate, but I still really enjoyed the episode. I really like the journey of Asumi not being scared in the cold opening, to the group deciding to make something that is nice to her but that will also surprise her, and the cute moment at the end was a really nice payoff. I also like how Asumi stumbled upon the information about the festival and seeing her actively wanting to be part of the team and her being sad for feeling like she was being left behind without making a big mess about it, like she was sad but she also (miss)understands what's going on and that just makes her even sadder. This recap episode gave up more characterization about Asumi than the episodes that were meant to do that and this is both impressive and sad.

Speaking of episodes that characterize Asumi, Episode 27 was another great one at it. Again, Asumi connecting with another adult being determined to help, feeling frustrated for the Hot-Air-Balloon Team loss and wanting to actively do something about it. It was really great seeing her so assertive, and seeing her feel so strong about something, and even better, something that wasn't related at all to Rate. She felt like a real character, a real human, and I really liked that. This was a very straight-forward episode but I think it works completely in favor of the episode, I like the plot, I like the characters of the day, I like that even Nodoka's father got some characterization since now we know he was a Hot-Air-Balloon nerd, we even got a new element bottle. It was simple and it was great.

From this point on we're on Salty territory so read at your own discretion.

Going from the one I have the least to talk about, Episode 29 was boring I thought they were going to do something bigger, considering what episode 28 was, and if you disregard Cure Earth giving really mature advice about something she shouldn't have the know-how to talk about they had a nice bit of Nodoka going reckless and she realizing she shouldn't be so hard on herself, but that was pretty much the only thing this episode had going for it. I really couldn't care for anything else, the comedy felt very odd, and getting the final bottle for the shelf was very underwhelming.

Then we have episode 25, that feels disconnected from the rest of the storyline, and that is just here in the bottom list because of two factors. The first is the fact that is a very cliche plot and the show didn't bring in enough new elements to make it interesting, instead, they wanted to make it WAY TOO SAD for that little girl and it was just cruel to watch it because I knew all the time Pegitan would eventually leave her and I wanted that little kid to be happy because she seems like a good kid. My other problem, and my biggest one, is what started this whole plot. I hate the "I'm a boy, I'm not cute, I'm cool" line of thought, and while it makes sense that Pegitan, being as insecure as he is, would have a concern like that, I hate that the show makes Chiyuu feel guilty and blame herself for doing it, and I hate it even more that at the end the major message was "Yes, Pegitan, you're cool" instead of "It's okay for you, as a male, to be cute". From a franchise that two years ago was saying boys can be princesses, this feels like a step back and I hate it.

Episode 30 was one of the most boring things I've watched in this season. To begin, what the hell were they thinking of making Hinata, of all girls, to be the one to not know tigers and cats are related? She lives in a veterinary clinic, both her dad and her brother should've mentioned that at some point, and I'm being gentle here and not considering this as common knowledge for 14-years-old kids. Then there's the thing that completely ruined the episode to me that was that little boy and his friend. I really didn't care for this random character with the most white straight male thought ever wanting all of their friends to be the same as him because he doesn't like to have their world views being challenged. If it wasn't for the eventual cute interactions between the girls this episode would've been the worst.

And there's an element in this episode that ties in with Episode 28 which is, without a doubt, my biggest problem with this series: the villains.

I hate the Healin' Good villains, all of them. Except for Batetemoda, but he's dead so he doesn't count. This is probably the most uninteresting set of generals of the entire franchise, and we live in a world where the Trio the Minor and the Mahou Tsukai villains exists. Guwaiaru is way too dumb, his dumbness is supposed to be played for laughs, but when you repeat the same joke of him adding more stuff to a bigger thing to make it stronger, or dirtier, or spicier, in the span of 10 episodes it doesn't become funny, it's just tiresome. Then there's Shindoine, who's flat-lined as hell. Her whole thing, her only thing, is her unhealthy obsession with King Byougen. She doesn't have anything else besides that, she doesn't do anything interesting, every time she's on-screen she's talking about King Byougen, and it's not fun, it's not interesting, it is a big pile of nothing. And you would think that after Anacondy, Papple, and Gelos, the creators of this show would know better and wouldn't make another general that is so in love with the leader of their organization to the point of doing dumb shit that could get them killed, but no. We gotta raise the stakes. And as cool as powered-up Shindoine looks, I can't get excited. Because she, just as her companions, doesn't change as characters. They are the regular "pick a stereotype and make a character out of it" gone to an extreme and in the most boring way possible.

Thanks, I hate it.

And then, there's the biggest offender of them all. Daruizen. He is the "bored one" and that's enough to make him boring because he doesn't have anything to pique my curiosity to learn about him or see what he's capable of. In other circumstances, this would be fine, but her companions are just as boring, and the thing that maximizes this as a problem is that for some reason the creators of this show thought it was a great idea to pair him up with the main Cure. And when you do something like, to make sure your audience will be completely on board with you, you gotta make sure both characters are interesting enough to carry this on.

The catch is that Daruizen isn't interesting at all, the thing that makes Daruizen interesting is the thing that makes Nodoka/Grace less interesting, and that's not a good balance.

When Episode 28 decided to make canon that Daruizen is the result of a parasite that took residence in Nodoka's body they elevated his level of in the scale, now we have a very close connection that raises the bar for the rivalry these two have and it also drops answers for questions we didn't even know we had. But they couldn't leave it at that, they had to undermine their main character and probably the whole, show while at it too.

The thing that made Nodoka such a unique lead for this show was the fact that she is a sick kid, we never know what her disease is, and I understand the reasons why the show wouldn't want to pin-point and existence disease neither create a fake one, but we know her health isn't one of the best, we've seen her suffer because of it and the show wasn't shy of putting images of the main character in a hospital bed. And this is very important because, while the majority of the target audience most likely has never been in those conditions, I'm sure a lot of kids, and even adults, who unfortunately have been in hospitals for most of their lives watches this show for hope, for strength, for comfort, and having a main character similar to them is strong as fuck. But when you make Nodoka's disease to be something magical you devalue a lot of that. Yes, magical or not, Nodoka did experience her disease, that affected her, that changed her. But just how it magically came to her, it also magically left her body, and sadly that's not a luxury that we in the real world have... and that affects people. Of course, I'm working here just based on assumptions, thankfully I never had to be hospitalized and the closest my family got to that was when my aunt got her tubes tied and the period right before my father's death, so I may not be in my place to say, and I really hope I'm wrong in this, but I do believe this was a bad move for the representation.

Even if I'm wrong (and I really do hope I am), this still isn't a good narrative move because it just turns this show into something very focused on the lead cure when this is supposed to be a show about a team. It makes it feel like this world spins around Nodoka, and not that Nodoka spins WITH the world she's in. This deep connection with one general, that isn't emulated with the other generals in parallel to the other Cures, makes it feel like she's the only one important and that nothing else matters, and this saddens me because makes it look like I hate Nodoka when I deeply care for her and this is the reason why I'm so mad about this mess. Now that I think about it, it's very similar to Kamen Rider EX:AID to a certain extent, and from all the aspects I could draw a parallel this is definitely the worst one to intersect. Well, at least they haven't made her be the be-all-end-all of the show (yet).

But just to not end this on a negative note, Episode 28 did gave us one of the most emotional scenes ever between Rabirin and Nodoka, and that crushed my heart, I had no emotional structure to sit through that without shading tears. It was an amazing scene. And Episode 30 did end on a good cliffhanger, it feels like we're entering the final arc that will lead us to the Christmas special and then the finale, and I'm very curious to see the path this show will take.

And that does it for me. I feel like I've written way much more than I should, and maybe I'll have to write more because I'm not necessarily sure if I should post this right now considering the US Elections, but regardless, whenever you get to read this share your thoughts with me, I feel like for this block of episodes more than any other else I'm really curious to see what people have to say about it. And considering the sheer length of this post, if you're someone who's reading this on tumblr, consider going over to the blog (the link should be in the sidebar if you're accessing it via pc) the comment section should allow for a better discussion that doesn't need to be broken down in several replies like here on tumblr. Without anything else to add, I think it's time to sign off. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so so so much for reading this insanely huge post, and until the next time. Healin’ Goodbye~

#Healin' Good Precure #precure

[khataabehangel]

yasser aldurra

If you are reading this, it is because you searched the name, “Yasser Aldurra” in order to get to know him better. You want to dig up some dirt on him to see if he’s really the “good guy” that he claims to be. I am here to tell you, that if he asks for you, stay the hell away from him at all costs.

If you are here because you are searching for him as a doctor, I don’t know anything about that. I have no idea how he is as a physician. This post is strictly about him as a romantic partner. You won't find any reviews for him here so move along; this isn't for you.

For everyone else who is here because he asked for you for marriage... let me introduce myself. I am someone that met him for just a few days. We spoke to each other with the intention to get married. I have never bashed anyone after getting to know them, but he is such a liar and a bad person, that I felt like it is my duty to warn girls about him. Most of this stuff I picked up on because he never shuts up and he accidentally revealed too much about himself without realizing it. The rest I found out after things ended between us. When I first met him, I really thought that he was perfect, and I couldn't find anything wrong with him. Let’s just say that I was very wrong about that....

Here are some takeaway points if you don’t want to read this entire post:

he has actual narcissistic personality disorder and ALL the characteristics associated with that disorder

He’s insanely cheap and has lied about how much he makes (even if you don’t ask)

he’s a liar

he’s a liar

he’s a liar

everything he tells you is a lie.even things that don’t seem like lies, are lies. don’t believe anything he says. he twists the truth and gives half-truths to make things seem more plausible and believable even though they are lies.

HE NEVER SHUTS UP. HE TALKS SO MUCH AND HE’LL NEVER LET YOU GET A WORD IN

he’s manipulative

his “deen” is so incredibly flawed, and it is not the correct Islam that me and you follow.

he sees women as being inferior to men, and that men should control women and be the person in charge of the relationship. That men have the final say in all matters and that their opinion is more valid than the woman’s.

He’s able to fake being a certain way until he gets comfortable enough to reveal his true self that he hides behind his façade 

he has no friends.

HES A GUY WITH NO FRIENDS. HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW THAT DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS?! I don’t freaking know any! he’s so intolerable that even guys don’t like being around him.

has no social skills

easily offended by EVERYTHING

his ego is as fragile as glasshe does not fight fair. if he gets hurt by something that you said, even if it was unintentional, he will say something exponentially more hurtful back to you as a defense mechanism. it’s not healthy.

he will never answer your questions directly. 

he will rush you to get married. he’ll use his age as the reason, but it’s really so that he traps you before you realize how trash he actually is.

he doesn't understand how to pace a relationship and will talk to you as if you've been together for years even if it’s just been a few days. He will rush you to move things forward even though you just met. When you refuse or say you need more time, he will try to make you feel guilty about it.

He constantly plays the role of the victim

He will try to make you feel sorry for him as a way to constantly control you and make things your fault, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

He’s ridiculously controlling

he’s disrespectful as hell, and will even be disrespectful to your parents and your family

he doesn't understand boundaries or when to stop doing something, even if you ask him directly.

he is extremely blunt and hurtful

his expectations for marriage are unrealistic and unachievable. the girl he’s looking for doesn't exist in this century

he’s been through some traumatic things in his life that he’s never gotten past and it has heavily influenced how he is today. He needs some serious therapy, but ironically he’ll never get it because he thinks he’s perfect and doesn’t see anything wrong with himself.

he is childish and immature, even at 36 years old.

his mom. he worships her. their relationship is SO weird. he will tell his mom about everything that you have talked about.his mom expects to live with him in the future

even though he lives alone, he never took the time to teach himself how to cook

he cannot care for himself at any capacity and expects other people to do it for him. 

He is racist

he has a hard time understanding new things that he is unfamiliar with. even things that are common sense, he struggles with. 

he will belittle you and your knowledge, to make himself feel better about not understanding something. He will also go into an insane level of detail about a random topic, and when you change the subject, he goes back to it. If you ask him to move on from it, he won’t 

He will control every conversation that you will ever have. He will do it slowly, and you won’t realize it until one day when you get a text from him, and you become disgusted with the idea of talking to him.

He is extremely opinionated, and any opinion that you have that disagrees with his beliefs, he will argue about it with you forever. 

He says everything that he is thinking, no matter how inappropriate it is. 

He has no filter. Although he lies like crazy about his past and his flaws, he is extremely honest about his expectations and how he wants you to treat him. This normally would be a good thing, except for the fact that he expects to be treated like some sort of god. 

he’s insanely judgmental and not understanding. Anything that you share about yourself will somehow get thrown back in your face and used against you.

Gets angry at the stupidest, smallest things and will make things into a bigger deal than they actually need to be

He gets mad very quickly, and he doesn’t forgive or forget easily. You basically have to kiss his ass for him to forgive you for the “thing” that you did “wrong”, which is usually something stupid. He does this as a way to gaslight and control you.He will create issues out of thin air just to control your behavior and how you treat him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah......................... you should run for the hills. Do me a favor though and don’t tell him about this post. just say that you are not interested without giving a reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First of all, he is not as religious as he claims to be. 

He claims to have memorized a large part of the Quran and he knows countless ahadeeth, but in reality, he only knows enough to quote it out of context to make whatever backwards argument that he is trying to make seem valid. He will use religion as the main source to back up all of his very twisted, and extremely unIslamic beliefs. He also uses it as a shield to defend himself in almost every situation. He also misquotes the ayah in surah an-nissa to convince you that men are supposed to control women, even though that’s not what that ayah means. He bends ayahs and takes them out of context just so he can use a strong source like the Quran to back up his weird, and twisted beliefs that have nothing to do with what the Quran is ACTUALLY saying (because he’s taking things out of context and interpreting them how he likes). Also, he mostly uses this to sell you the idea that he’s “a good guy”. Do not buy it. Do. not. buy. it. it is a lie. People that are actually religious do not do the things that he does or twist Islam to suit them. Islam gives clear instruction to men that they are the CAREGIVERS of woman. They are responsible for taking care of them, for spending on them, and for the other responsibilities that the girl’s parents had before she married that guy. They are not the “controllers” of women. Instead, they should be the leaders in the relationship because they have a bigger responsibility.

Secondly, and more importantly, he is a complete liar and this stems from the fact that he is a narcissist. I do not say this lightly. If you look up the DSM-5 definition of it, he fits the criteria perfectly. What is narcissism?

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder

People with the disorder can:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Exaggerate achievements and talents

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

Take advantage of others to get what they want

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment

Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted

React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior

Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior

Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change

Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection

Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

There’s a lot to unpack here. I know it’s a lot, but if you’re still reading this, it’s probably because 1) you are Yasser (hi!) you are so full of yourself that you googled yourself and got here or 2) you were actually considering moving forward with this guy, but you are now concerned (as you should be).

Let’s start with the inflated sense of their own importance.

He will talk about his achievements for hours if you let him. In general, he never shuts up or gives you the chance to speak. He has exaggerated so many of his achievements. The one most memorable to me was the fact that he claimed to have “two board certifications, and two specialties”. like... okay.... most doctors who have a specialty also are board certified in internal medicine... you're not special. He talks so much about how “hard” he worked to get to where he is today as if the people around him are just sitting on their asses doing nothing. He bragged forever about all the places that offered him a fellowship.. which ironically were only a handful. I did not feel like he was being honest about his job offers at all. and if he was, then he’s a complete dumbass for turning them down because the offer he ended up choosing was apparently a lot worse, according to him. so, he’s either a liar, or a dumbass... or both.

on that note: he would frequently bring up the topic of money and he overemphasized how “little” money he makes. Apparently, this is because he did not want people to take advantage of him, including the person he’s getting to know for freaking marriage. any idiot on the street will tell you that a doctor in this country, that has a specialty, and is working in a private practice makes well over $250-$350k MINIMUM. He kept saying how little money he made even though I never asked him about it or even mentioned it. Everything that he told me regarding the topic of money revolved around an idea from the Quran that is taken completely out of context: “a person who overspends is the friend of the devil” (misquoting the Quran and failing to mention the next ayah on how God does not like people who are excessively stingy).

He set an exact budget on how much money he thinks is okay to spend on certain items like cars, shoes, shirts, electronics, and even things like the heating bill. He made it clear which stores he likes to shop at (they were stores like kohl's and jc penny). It’s fine to have a budget and be smart with your money. But it’s not fine to ask the girl that you are getting to know how many shoes she owns, what stores she buys her clothes from, and then blatantly tell her that the places she shops are “too expensive” for him and that she can get clothes from Kohl’s and JC Penny like him. She can shop wherever the hell she wants to shop and spend however much she wants to spend. She didn’t get those things by using your wallet. You are just getting to know each other. Chill the fuck out. Just because he has a specific budget for how much he thinks it’s okay to spend on things, we weren’t even together, and he was already controlling and judging me for my spending habits. And just to be clear, I don’t even shop frequently, or at stores that are absurdly overpriced.  To hide the fact that he is so cheap, he then said “I don’t want you to think that I’m cheap. I donate a lot of my money to people in need.” A person who is not cheap doesn't need to say that they are not cheap.

For someone who speaks so highly of his achievements and success, it’s surprising that he constantly talks about how poor he is and how little money he spends.

I think we should talk about his biggest lie: what occurred in his past relationship.

Everything that he says is a lie, or some sort of twisted version of the truth. When I met him, he told me that he was divorced, which is true. But he made out his ex to be the shittiest person imaginable. He claimed that she was a “narcissist” (wow, projecting much?!). He also told me that he was the one who decided to end things with her, and that he “tried so hard to make it work but she was just very stubborn, controlling, and made him fear being around her.” He “didn’t feel safe around her.” When I asked him to clarify what he meant by that, he didn’t elaborate. It sounded like he was taking the words of his ex and using them to play the victim.

she apparently also wasn't there for him emotionally (which is imo impossible because he’s soooooooo goddamn needy, I can’t even imagine anyone even being able to fulfill this to be honest). He said that she didn’t pray, and he somehow didn’t pick up on this during their engagement!?! what a lie. whenever he would mention his engagement with her and all the “red flags” that he missed, he would always say, “I only blame myself, I’m dumb” trying to play the victim. worst of all.... he said that they were together only 6 months. Later on, I found out that they were together for TWO YEARS. I don’t know how the hell she managed to stay with his needy, controlling ass for 2 years, but may God reward her for what she endured. I couldn’t talk to him for more than a few days, I can’t imagine being with him for a few years. He bragged about how he paid her whatever was left of her mahr (dowry) and the class that she took when they ended things. He made it seem like his ex came from a very humble and simple family that was not very well-off financially, and that her dowry was A LOT.

I also found out that he was CRAZY controlling. His ex was apparently a super white and beautiful blonde. If they were in public and her sleeve came up a little to reveal her wrist, he would lose his shit. He was unbelievably jealous.

When they were signing the papers to get married, her parents, (who I found out later from someone.. are actually insanely well-off because her dad is a successful af businessman), didn’t ask for any mahr (dowry) because they trusted that his career as a physician is promising and that he would take care of their daughter. The person writing the papers said that they had to put down a number, because Islamically, it is the right of the girl to receive a gift from her new husband. So, someone in the room suggested $5,000. Not only did he agree to this ridiculously low number, but never even offered more when it was suggested. He just accepted it and moved on because he’s so cheap. Just for some perspective, I know that mahr can start anywhere from $10K-$15 and be as high as $50-$100K depending on how well off the guy is. This guy is a freaking doctor which means he makes that in like a week or so... Even as a resident or a fellow, that’s pocket change.

anyway. Her father got her a freaking brand-new Audi as a wedding gift, and her new husband gave her the promise of $5,000 after they get married... LOL.

so, when he was “bragging” about paying off her dowry when they ended things, I really thought it was a huge sum of money. it wasn't.

How he deals with his finances is really none of my business. I only mentioned it here because he would constantly mention it and emphasize that he didn’t want anyone (including his future wife) to take advantage of him. I could care less about how much money he makes because even though I never told him this (mostly because he never shuts up and I never got the chance to tell him about it), I am independently wealthy from a business that I opened up a few years ago. I am completely financially independent from my parents.

Although I never cared about his finances at ALL, it’s important to know that in Islam, a husband MUST spend on his wife. He MUST treat her well. and he MUST care for her and her finances. It’s his duty. Whatever money she makes, belongs to her. And whatever she wants to spend or save, is up to her. She can work full-time and save every penny that she has if she wants, WHILE HE SPENDS ON HER. She doesn't have to give him a cent of the money she makes (unless she wants to). AND even if she is working and she makes her own money HE STILL has to spend on her, and on the things that she needs while she saves her money or spends her money in the way that she wants. In Islam the husband MUST SPEND ON HIS WIFE. AND SHE CAN CHOOSE TO WORK AND SAVE HER MONEY IF SHE WANTS. AND IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO WORK, SHE HAS THAT OPTION, AND HE STILL HAS TO SPEND ON HER. WHETHER SHE WORKS OR NOT, HE HAS TO SPEND ON HER. anyway. that’s why I mentioned it. I don’t care about it, I just listed it just in case anyone that’s reading this does care about it so that they know what they're getting into. Go back and read the symptoms of narcissism that I included above. It literally mentions that people with this disorder have issues with their money. This has absolutely nothing to do with Islam, and everything to do with him and his condition. He just uses Islam to back up his twisted viewpoints by misquoting things and taking them out of context.

And Islamically, just so you know, God does not like those who are cheap with their wealth. He loves those that are generous with the money that He blessed them with. And He loves those that spend on their families. Those that have wealth and are able to afford more, are expected to spend more on mahr when they get married. THAT’S what the Quran says in surah baqara at the end of the second juz when the topic of marriage, engagement, and divorced are mentioned. So even if he was using Islam as an excuse to protect his money from his wife, he’s literally wrong and it doesn’t say that anywhere. In fact, in a hadith, it is mentioned that if someone’s husband is not spending enough on her and her kids to take care of them, she is allowed to take whatever money she needs from him without his knowledge or his permission.

His past relationship tells you everything you really need to know about him. For example, everything that he complained about his ex, were things that he does. He uses the exact character flaws in him that ended his marriage as being the character flaws that his ex had. For example, he is clearly a narcissist. You can pick up on this up within just a few conversations with him. Yet, he claimed that his wife was a narcissist, and she has all of the negative characteristics of one.

He claimed that she was controlling in the relationship, yet he has extreme controlling behavior. If I didn’t talk to him or give him attention for an entire day because I was at work, he would lose his shit. He would be passive aggressive then progressively more and more aggressive until I asked him what was wrong. Then he would lash out at me as if we’ve been in a relationship for years and I did something majorly wrong, even though I didn’t. Every free moment that I had was apparently to be dedicated only to him. If I wanted to go out and I mentioned that I was leaving my house, he would start a fight just so that I could stay home and “fix” things with him. Let me remind you that I only spoke to him for a few days..... we were not a couple at any capacity, so he had no right to do this. It was extremely manipulative behavior. I was constantly gaslighted by him. I would find myself apologizing to him very frequently, and most of the time I didn’t even know why. Everything that I said to him was offensive, even though it really wasn't. For example, I mentioned the word “FOB” once to describe someone, and he was so offended by it, even though it wasn't directed at him and I didn’t say it in a derogatory manner.

Back to his ex. He claimed that she never prayed and that this was the main cause of him wanting to end things... but the entire time that I was with him, he never mentioned how frequently he prays, even when I asked him about it directly. He claimed to be super religious, but I never saw that in his worship at all (but also, only God knows that so I can’t judge him for that.. I’m just saying what I noticed). He didn’t really make time for extra ibada. Which would be totally fine if he didn’t try so hard to sell himself as being “good and religious.” The entire time we spoke he kept saying how he was religious and how he wanted a religious wife. I also never saw that in his character. I never saw that with how he spoke to and about others. He looked down on everyone that wasn't from the same background as him or had the same education as himself. He was very disrespectful of others. I found that it mostly stems from his ignorance and intolerance of other cultures.

He said some really disturbing things about immigrants coming here and mooching off of the system. That they are basically living off of the taxes that he pays. Even though he is an immigrant himself, he didn’t believe that they deserve the same opportunities and chances that he got. He firmly believed that everything he has now was earned by him, and that he worked hard for it. It never crossed his mind that he was given a chance by people who stood up and fought for those rights and opportunities for immigrants. He always saw himself as someone who was “self-made.” He was extremely oblivious to the fact that he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he did, had it not been for those same opportunities that he didn’t think the other immigrants deserve. He was very arrogant.

His social interactions:

I heard from someone this crazy story about a girl he was getting to know:

He suggested that she and he go out to some restaurant to eat. After they finished dinner, he INSISTED that they get dessert. She said she was full, and she wasn’t interested in getting anything, but he kept insisting over and over until she finally said yes. She chose a brownie or something that she liked. And he didn't freaking order anything. He suggested that they share because she needs to be watching what she eats. Apparently what she chose was too many calories for her or something.

SHE DIDNT EVEN WANT DESSERT IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND WHEN SHE GOT IT YOU TOLD HER IT WAS TOO MANY CALORIES FOR HER!? It boggles my mind how hypocritical he is. Everything he says and does is carefully planned so that he can tear down someone’s self-esteem and self-worth just to make himself seem better. I interpreted this story as him being too cheap to get two desserts. He obviously wanted something, and he wanted to overcompensate for his cheapness by insisting that she gets something so she thinks that he’s doing this out of generosity. This way, he only has to pay for one dessert because he can suggest later that they share it. Also, the fact that she ordered what she wanted makes it seem like she's in control of the situation, but then he gaslights her. In order to get her half of the dessert, he can’t just ask to share. Instead, he uses it as an opportunity to take a jab at her self-esteem so that she questions herself. It’s actually kind of complex for someone as stupid as him. He’s crazy manipulative and controlling like that. It’s the only way he knows how to interact with people, really.

When I asked him about people in his community and the friends he has there, he was EXTREMELY defensive. This was honestly the biggest red flag for me. I asked because if we were to get married, I have to move to where he is, because he refused to move to where I am. I wanted to make sure that there is some sort of community around us that we can interact with. I wanted to know if I could build new friendships and relationships with people there. AND I wanted to know how likable he is, because from everything I saw in the few days that we spoke, he was very intolerable. I wanted to know if it was because he was always like that or if something was going on with him. I think it is a pretty fair way to gauge someone’s general demeanor. Everyone I know has AT LEAST one friend. People that don’t have friends usually don’t for a reason. Either they keep their distance from others, or others have a reason to keep their distance from them. In most cases, it’s a red flag about that person. But in some circumstances, it’s really not that person’s fault and there is nothing specifically wrong with them. So, I had to make sure for myself.

If a guy has no friends, he will automatically expect you to spend all of your time with him. He won't understand or accept you casually going out with the girls or having them come over. Also, in general, guys don’t have as much drama as girls. Even if a guy is a complete scumbag, other guys will find something about him that they like, and they will generally get along. That’s just how guys are. They're all chill with each other, even if they don’t know each other well, or at all.

So, when I asked him this question and he got extremely defensive, I knew something was wrong. He claimed that the guys by him didn’t invite him anywhere because he isn't married. Everyone in his community is apparently married, and according to him, he was outcasted because of his relationship status. ...which doesn't make any sense. I’ve never heard of this being an issue for anyone, guy or girl. At least in my community, single guys and girls all get invited to married-people events. I know this, because I get invited to those events.

Basically, he has no friends. He doesn't even keep in touch with his old roommates or classmates. He doesn't really talk to his sisters either. That’s why this question was so triggering and offensive. Even though it’s not an offensive question at all. “tell me about the community there and your friends.” Literally nothing wrong with it...

He’s a loser. I hate to say this, but he really is.

The only person that he talks to every day is his mom. And to be honest, she's not the best role model for him. That leads me to my next major point.

His mom

She basically made up a very elaborate fabricated story about her and her son and how she hasn't been able to find him a wife for some fake reason. It was a complete sob story told to a rishta auntie so that she can hook him up with some girls. Every part of that story was fake and was told in a specific way to shift blame from the trash that is her son and to also to instill empathy for them. If she got your number, most likely this is how she did it.

The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. She’s just as much as a liar as her son, if not more. I wouldn't be surprised if she taught him all of the manipulative things that he says and does as well as all the lies that he spews.

That’s not even why I mentioned her. The main issue you need to be concerned about is the fact that he’s in his freaking late thirties and she still has complete control over him. Their relationship is not healthy at all. Because she is the only person that he talks to, he tells her everything. And I really do mean everything, without any exaggeration.

Absolutely nothing off limits for what he shares with her, including private conversations with you. He will share EVERYTHING with his mom, no matter how personal it is and no matter how much you ask him to keep it to himself. and if it is something bad, he will use it against you later on and make you feel bad about it and judge you for it. everything that you have shared about yourself with him in private, he has already told his mom about. They have already discussed it, and they have already made the decision on whether or not they want to blow it out of proportion.

If what you shared about yourself or your life interferes, in anyway, with the plan that they have in mind for him... your issue will be exposed. For example, if you want to wait a year or two before having kids, this interferes with his plan to have kids immediately after marriage. HE WILL NOT TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS DIRECTLY. Instead, he will act like he is 100% okay with it and seem completely supportive of your decision. If you ask if he has a problem with it, he will lie and say no. Then after you hang up, he will call his mom immediately afterward, then tell her everything that you told him. THEN she won't even call your mom to complain... she will first call the rishta auntie that gave them your moms number and ASK ABOUT YOU even if the lady doesn't know you. The thing that you shared with him in private, and he said he was okay with, has now reached two other people without your knowledge. After his mom talks to the rishta auntie and tells her about this “world-ending issue” that has come to light...that lady will tell her that she doesn't even know you well enough to give any advice (about something that’s not her freaking business). then she’ll tell his stupid mom to take it up with your mom. So, within 20 hours of talking to him about a private matter that you both seemingly clearly agreed on... your mom will get a phone call from his complaining about it and how that’s not what he wants.

This “guy” is so emasculated by his mother, that he can’t even stand up for himself. It’s so pathetic. She has to speak on his behalf.

Sometimes it is okay for parents to step in because they handle sensitive situations more delicately and in an eloquent way. But for him, EVERYTHING was a sensitive situation, and he didn’t know how to handle any of it on his own. the worst part is that his mom is a complete bitch. She was SO rude when she was speaking to my mom. She was unnecessarily aggressive in her speech and in her tone. Like if she was at least able to handle things like a normal person, it would've been acceptable. But she was literally this biggest bitch I've ever met. I’ve never had a guy’s mom talk to mine in such rude way. It’s no wonder why he acts like such a baby, why everything offends him, and why he expects everything to go his way all the time. They literally think that just because he’s a doctor, that he needs to be worshipped and that the world revolves around him.

This happened several times when I was getting to know him during those few days. I eventually learned that there are absolutely secrets between them. Everything you tell him will reach his mom, and she will share it with the third party that got you guys in touch. I’m honestly not surprised that he shared everything I told him with her. It actually makes perfect sense.

You must understand that they have a very weird relationship for a reason. You are not just going to marry him... you are also marrying his mom. That’s one of the reasons that she has to know you so well. One of his conditions is that you have to be okay with her living with you guys. He is adamant about this. He has a room for her in his place for when she comes to visit, but she's planning on moving in permanently. But yea, his mom has fully reinforced his toxic behavior and expectations. It’s perfectly okay to live with your spouse’s parents. But it’s not okay for them to learn everything about you, and for you to not have any privacy with your spouse. I blame his trash character on her and her Karen-ness.

On that note..

His trash character

If he hasn't shown this to you yet, because he is still on his “fake” persona that he puts up early in the relationship.. then heed my warning. Strap yourself in for the hell that you are about to experience (or have already experienced).

Expect him in the beginning to “love-bomb” you. meaning, he will overly praise and admire you all the time. He will put u on a pedestal and tell you that you are the best person in the world. that if he ends up with you he will be the luckiest guy ever. You are perfect in every way, and everything that you have done is a huge achievement (even if it’s something basic). He will list out all of the things that he loves and adores in you. this will come literally the second time you talk lol. He’ll act crazy obsessed with you.

BUT..... he is ONLY doing this because 1 of 2 things are about to happen. The first is that he is craving for you to admire him in a similar manner. He is literally teaching you how he wants you to praise him (all the time btw). He wants you to compliment him back. Everything that he said is straight up just him fishing for a compliment. Don’t give him one. You don’t need to. Just general advice: you don’t owe a guy anything for what he does. If you want to compliment him on something you genuinely like, go for it. But NEVER feel obligated to compliment a guy just because he complimented you. It’s okay to just say “thank you” and accept it.

The second, is actually really scary. This is a tactic that narcissists used when trying to trap someone. Remember the term I used earlier, love-bombing? Well, this is actually a tactic that narcissists use in their cycle of abuse. It’s not healthy to have such strong feelings towards someone you just met. But that’s how he’ll talk to you. If you want to learn more about what I’m talking about, read this article to get a better idea: https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing#soulmate-claims

Eventually he will start gaslighting you. Making you question yourself. making you feel like everything that you say and do is offensive to him. You will start apologizing to him for stupid things.

Out of all the lies that he told, he was ironically very honest about his uncontrollable anger. He gets angry, UNBELIEVABLY quickly and about EVERYTHING. If something goes wrong, it is the end of the world for him. He lashes out immediately, in a very rude and disrespectful way (...does this remind you of someone........? if you said his mom, good job!). Just like a bratty little kid lashes out disrespectfully at people around them when they don’t get their way... this guy is the same way. If he is “offended” by something... which is literally everything. Everything that freaking offends him.. he lashes out. If it is an issue that deals directly with his future with you, and his bratty behavior is not applicable, that’s when his mom is involved.

Yasser, if you are reading this, please grow the fuck up. you are in your late thirties, stop acting like a prepubescent dickless little boy who's balls haven't dropped. You are a grown ass man, act like it. Real men don’t have their moms listening in on every conversation, fighting their every battle, and being their only friend. Real men deal with their issues in a calm and respectful way, not by disrespecting the other person, projecting their issues onto them, and purposefully saying something mean to hurt them because they apparently hurt you. grow the fuck up.

You need therapy to deal with your mommy and daddy issues. You need therapy to deal with your textbook case of narcissism. you need therapy so that you can stop being such a shitty person so that maybe one day, someone other than your mom will love you.

I’m glad I met you, because you were the absolute worst person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Now I know exactly what to avoid with future guys that I meet, and I also have the comfort of knowing that no one will ever be as horrible as you.

If you don’t plan on bettering yourself after seeing this, I hope that if you do get married that you end up with someone who deserves you because they are just as shitty as you. I hope they take advantage of you and the money you keep hoarding. I hope they lie to you about everything in their life and in their past, and you don’t find out until it’s too late and you can’t leave or end things. I hope that they use your vulnerabilities against you. I hope that they disrespect you and belittle you. I hope that they are able to control you in every aspect of your life. I hope they are able to deal with your psychotic mother in a way that hurts you. I hope you are emasculated in your own marriage, and that your wife wears the pants in the relationship. I hope she makes decisions without you, and I hope it drives you crazy.

I hope your ex-wife got remarried to someone who actually deserves her and appreciates her. I hope their relationship is happy. I hope that her happiness with her new husband makes you completely miserable because you lied about how horrible she was and you abused her.

You lied about and exaggerated the things that I said to you in private and exposed me. I hope that you are exposed to everyone, just like you exposed me and my secrets. You may have told lies and exaggerations about me, but I’m telling the truth about you. Everything you said about me is nothing to be ashamed of. But everything about you is disgusting and shameful. You’re lucky that I didn’t go into more detail about how horrible you are, and the outrageous things that you said and did. This was in no way revenge. I could care less about you or getting back at you. I wrote this because I hope that every girl that meets you finds this post and heeds my warning about you and they are protected from you, your mom, and both of your evil. It’s a shame, that you have so much potential to be a good person, but you choose to be this way. I feel bad for you.

If you are a girl that met this fool and you want to share your experience, feel free to make an account if you don’t already have one and share with us. I genuinely hope that this post helps someone. I would love to know that it has. Leave me a message if this helped you in any way, even if it does not relate to him directly. Please don’t send him any hate on my behalf, that’s not the intention of this at all. I would prefer if he doesn’t see this, so don’t send this to him if you know him. If he does find it on his own, that’s on him.

If you are someone who is in a relationship with a guy or a girl you suspect has narcissistic personality disorder, please leave that relationship asap. It is not healthy for you. They will traumatize you and leave a lasting impact on what you’ll expect your future relationships to look like. You deserve better. Even if you don’t think that you do, YOU DESERVE BETTER. Leave. It’s better to be single than to be with this type of person.

#relationship #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissistic personality disorder #mental health #mental disorder #mental disorders #rishtas #khatabeen #men #love bombing #unhealthy relationships #relationship advice #fobs #karen #fragile masculinity #fragile male ego #ego #friends #red flags #doctor

[acehet]

really long reply like WOW

@rebelbaze​ ty for responding but reading through your responses is really hard because you’re using the reply feature for a lot of replies. the reply feature is fine for 1 or 2 responses, but anything more than that fries my brain (i’m sorry!). i’m going to try to reply anyway

I mean? I identified as ace for years because of internalized homophobia and a lot of ~ace elders encouraged it by saying that since I was scared of having sex with anyone, I must be ace and all that. And there are multiple blogs cataloging HUNDREDS of experiences ike mine.”

yeah no i 100% agree with you there. those ~ace elders~ were completely incorrect in saying that you must be ace solely because you were scared of having sex. 

anyone trying to directly pin an identity on someone, as in “you must be ___ because of ___” is completely in the wrong and i’m sorry that happened to you and make you confused.

there’s a difference between giving people resources and giving advice and possibilities to help them find an identity on their own, and saying someone has to be something because of a reason.

http://hate2breakittoya.tumblr.com/tagged/mogai-hell-denial/chrono A lot of these are about MOGAI politics rather than just the ace community but it's still worth perusing the tag to understand what we mean

asexuals as a whole aren’t to blame for mogai politics. the ace community isn’t at fault for people labeling themselves as homoromantic/bisexual just to end up being wrong about it. hell, even i called myself biplatonic a few years back because i like being in relationships and having girlfriends and boyfriends, and then this discourse happened and i dropped the term cuz so many other people were shamed and ridiculed for the same exact thing. and then i started to think it was stupid too because i’m super impressionable (but that’s not the point)

there are people entirely comfortable with having split attraction or silly identities, not everyone who is, for example, heterosexual/biromantic (i choose that one specifically for a reason i’ll explain in the notes) is that way due to compulsive heterosexuality or internalized homophobia. it could be because of past trauma that makes them uncomfortable being in certain intimate situations (romantic or sexual) with one gender in one way but not the other, or just having different comfort levels with different genders because of who they are, or just because that’s how they are as a person.

it can be internalized homophobia or compulsive heterosexuality for some people, i am absolutely not denying that, but that’s not always it. people are just different, and an entire community of people shouldn’t be shamed for the outlet of their identity because just because for other people it was a form of denying themselves. 

but if people are comfortable with something and they’re perfectly content with it, why make issue with it? but if they’re having issues with themselves because of it or are struggling, i feel that’s when you should step in and say “hey i see you’re having problems with your identity and confusion/hatred over it. if you want you can talk to me and i can help you figure things out or just give you some resources to help you figure it out on your own?” or something along those lines.

a group of people as a whole shouldn’t be the blame for someone’s internal issues that are there in the first place because of society’s pressure to make people straight and cis.

http://sleepdontvisit.tumblr.com/post/159156864205/regreceipts-aphobe-voice-mogai-tumblr-held-a ANd if you have xkit or the time to just individually go through the tags on this post, LOTS Of reblogs have comments/tags added, where they talk about how the acec ommunity kept htem from dealing with trauma/overcoming internalized homophobia

again the ~ace elder~ is brought up and throwing identities at people. since this is a thing that is happening to people, i will say i am on your side for this and that putting a label on someone is entirely wrong and not at all helpful.

but, i do have to disagree with a part of this–

““I think I’m attracted to men but whenever they hit on me I feel like I’m about to die.” And y'all will say “sounds like you’re ace and just like them romantically” or “you’re lithromantic” instead of saying, “hey, it’s possible you’re struggling with compulsory heterosexuality. Have you ever considered you might lesbian or attracted to girls?””

forcing a label on someone, like “you’re ace and you like them romantically” and “you’re lithoromantic” are wrong, i’m 100% with you there. but if it were phrased differently, like “hey, if you’re comfortable talking more in-depth about this, we could figure out if you’re actually attracted to men or just find them attractive, because there’s a difference, and a possibility you might be asexual or just dealing with some stuff. have you considered anything?”

i feel that’s just as valid to say as “it’s possible you’re struggling with compulsive heterosexuality and have you considered you might be a lesbian or attracted to girls” because it’s offering the same advice, just different possibilities for identities. 

i feel this is more of a thing where people jump the gun on assuming someone’s identity, and not actually an intent to force someone to be something solely because they’re manipulative and want to force someone into being “one of us, one of us”, but regardless i will be on the lookout for more of this in the future, since this is a thing that is happening and can absolutely confuse people and force them to internalize some stuff. 

And like, if you need resoursce about the OVERWHELMING amount of sex shaming/serophobia/homophobia in the ace community, I can come up with those too. Like? I literally stopped identifying as ace because of how disgusting the community was and how uncomfortable it made me feel. But a lot of it isn't direct "you can't be gay!! you're ace!!" and it's more the sex shaming that peopel struggling with internalized homophobia flock too. A young gay person will feel "I can't have sex with girls, that's disgusting!!" and see the ace community talking about how disgusting sex is and be like "wow, I must be ace" when really... nope they're just struggling with shit.

(i had to google what serophobia was tfw) i have seen for myself receipts of asexual people making inappropriate comments towards HIV+ individuals or situations, and that is absolutely something that we have to call our own out on. i’ve seen posts on my dashboard of other inclusionists telling people “hey don’t say that shit” in regards to these serophobic posts, and even the infamous “i hate gays on this site” post. so it is something we’re aware of and are trying to correct, but it’s hard to see everyone and everything. it’s disgusting and shouldn’t happen in the first place, but unfortunately it is there. 

but for my own personal anecdote, and it’s something i’ve spoken about in the past too, but there was also a time last year where i stopped identifying as asexual too. it wasn’t because of the ace community, because again, i don’t really associate with the ace community aside from on this blog, but it was mostly because of exclusionists and family members.

the discourse was really really bad from what i saw last year, and i wasn’t involved. i unfortunately followed the wrong people and all i saw were a lot of posts about how asexuality wasn’t an identity but a modifier (????? what is my orientation modifying i don’t have anything else) and even posts about how it wasn’t an orientation at all because it doesn’t say who you’re attracted to (yes it does– i’m attracted to nobody.) and people attacking me personally for being asexual (i might still have screenshots if i can dig them up from my old account tbh) and i really felt like i had to forcibly change my orientation since at the time i felt like i couldn’t be asexual. like i wasn’t allowed to be.

This isn't comparable to people accidentally identifying as gay when tehy're bi or anything else bcause there is no society that shames not being gay, y'unno?

i really disagree. there are asexual and/or aromantic people who won’t identify as such because of society, and the general atmosphere of lgbt+ spaces right now because of the discourse. and also historically asexuals were a part of the bi community until we split off (here’s a post with sources that explains is better) and a lot of us misidentified as bi because of such and because a lot of us just liked all genders the same way without realizing we were asexual. (which btw is NOT the bi community’s fault!! just circumstantial confusion).  and i even had my brother’s ex fiancé a couple months ago shame me for being asexual and try to tell me i was actually bi because i had a girlfriend at the time and had a boyfriend right before i dated her. 

society shames asexuals as well. seeing as how there were consummation laws in place requiring couples to have sex or their marriage could be under annulment. (wikipedia article) (here’s a tumblr post explaining it more)

also this was in a broadcasted tv series shaming asexuality

(tumblr post talking about it more because tbh i don’t watch house)

society shames asexuality too, and if i didn’t discover i was asexual when i was 12, i would probably still unfortunately be identifying as bi and feeling wrongly about it because of how much aphobia i see in my daily life now. not just online, but with how family tries to pressure me to find love or how people pressure me into relationships irl to ‘fix’ me. 

i’m glad i found out about asexuality (and being trans) so young because if i hadn’t, i would still be identifying as something entirely wrong for me. because as i get older i see more and more how horribly LGBTQIA+phobic people are and that would have pushed be further into the closet. i identified at bi when i was 10 because i saw it and because i liked everyone the same, i thought i was, and it was before i saw how bad biphobia could be. seeing all the aphobia as i got older would have had me denying my asexuality more and more, because i know for sure if i had discovered being trans later than i did (13, before i really saw and internalized transphobia) then i would have internalized it and never came to terms with it.

sorry for all the long paragraphs, i like to jabber ahaha, sorry if anything is worded poorly. i’m terrible at wording.

thank you for having a very civilized debate with me btw!! i’m kinda out of spoons right now after writing all this so if you respond i might reply tomorrow! or the day after tomorrow cuz i gotta dogsit tomorrow and that might take up all my energy. i say that because i might still be reblogging things, just to tired to have discussions. y’know?

have a nice night btw!

#for the heterosexual/biromantic thing: #i choose that one specifically because i'm 75% sure my asexuality is trauma related #so sometimes i like to imagine what my orientation would be if i wasn't asexual #and going by my comfort level in situations and general bashfulness around certain people #i'm pretty sure if i weren't asexual i'd be heterosexual/biromantic #and also i labeled myself as that over a year ago when i tried to force myself to not be asexual (plot twist it didn't work) #i just wanted to specify that so it didn't seem like i was pulling the 'mythical bihet u aceys love to compare to' #cuz i've seen that response a lot #replies #long post #idk how.. to tag this #general trigger warning?? it's past my bed time i kind've forgotten some of what i've spoken about

[drcylewis]

headcanon dump

1) darcy is a huge music fan, she was brought up around music as her mother was a choir leader and her dad was trained on the harp. her mum used to drive her insane with singing loudly around the house, sometimes she even joined in. her parents really wanted her to do something with her voice, but she never really wanted to, she saw the stress it put on her mum and thought it was best for her to leave it be

sometimes, if you’re lucky you can hear her actually singing to herself whilst shes busy or bored. you better listen carefully.

2) darcy is a fan of collecting moments, so she pretty much has a mini polaroid camera in her bag at all times. her room is full of pictures of her and the crew on adventures, the ones that she keeps very close to her heart go in her scrapbook. she has plenty of selfies with her, thor and jane and erik. some even of ian.

3) darcy works in the tower/facility in the science division, even though she isn’t involved in any of the science going on, she hold an important part of making sure everyone is safe and is pretty much a mother hen. she may have started off as jane’s intern, but, then was hired professionally as a general assistant, her main department is the science department but she doesn’t mind helping around.she also lives within the building as jane doesn’t want her too far away,  just in case of emergency.

4) darcy is a professional third wheel, thor and jane, many other situations. she is okay with it, but sometimes it gets to her, she watches her friends find loved ones that she knows she’ll never find. darcy has gone on countless of dates but never goes on a second or third, because they only want her for one thing and she just wants to find that person. she has been used countless of times, by both men and women and it’s very hard for her to let you in. yeah, she seems open when she firsts meets someone but that isn’t darcy, that is the loud and fun darcy. not the one who spends her time watching documentaries and just spending time by herself in silence. she’s very protective of her friends when it comes to them finding partners because of all shes been through and the abuse she once received. no one knows of this past as she’s not even comfortable with thinking about it.

5) darcy loves to feed strays, she also takes some in when it’s winter to make sure that they’re okay. some people say she’s crazy, but she calls herself catwoman, so..

6) just a friendly reminder if you play with darcy’s hair and call her kitten, good girl or baby girl she will literally melt in your hands and do anything you say

7) darcy wears high heels(like 50% of the time) ‘cause she’s 5 2″ and iS PRESSED THAT SHE WASN’T BORN WITH THE GREATNESS THAT IS HEIGHT. it also makes her butt look great, which she loves.

8) if anyone is lucky enough to date darcy they’d have an unlimited supply of support, hugs, kisses, cuddles AND cookies. she’s very affectionate and believes that a partner should be there to help one another and support them, not bash their ideas or dismiss them. she also HIGHLY believes in snuggles, so have fun with that.

9) darcy has a handgun license as it’s required to have one to carry a taser in certain states, and she also owns a handgun (she purchased it after new york, london and all the other shit that went down, also ‘cause hydra sleeper agents were everywhere) but keeps that locked away. her uncle from her mothers side, who was a sheriff in colorado, had also taught her how to shoot but she has never used and will never use a gun, she hates them way too much.

10) Darcys grandmother on her mothers side owns a small bakery in Philadelphia, Darcy had always wanted to follow in her grandmothers footsteps but gave up after her mothers passing in her early teens. Sometimes she wonders what her life would be like if she followed her original plan, but does prefers her life as it is.She wouldn’t mind running the bakery in a couple years though, it is a family tradition.

11) if you don’t think darcy has a very large collection of cute ass lingerie tHEN YOU ARE WRONNNNNNNNNG. lingerie lets her love her body.

12) you don’t understand how sad it makes me when i see those cute things like wow darcy wishes she could have that stuff but shes so worried about not being good enough for her partner that she usually shuts herself off and tends to drift away and it hurts MY SOUL.

13) people seem to forget that darcy has been through a lot, she’s been through the destroyer, the dark elves and lbr most likely the battle of new york oh and one of her best friends being possessed by the aether. so she’s developed a lot of problems since then, nightmares, a minor case of ptsd etc, she’s not always going to be the happy go lucky lass everyone makes her out to be.

14) Sometimes I just want to cry when I think about how much Darcy loves her friends, like you don’t understand she would DIE for Jane, Jane has literally become such a big part of Darcy’s life, and she wouldn’t change it for anyone. They are two different people, and that’s what she loves so much about Jane, she just LOVES. HER. SO. MUCH. Selvig is pretty much her second dad, her better dad, to be honest. She was heart broken when she found out about the mind control, and made sure to keep a close eye on him after that.Thor is like her big brother(sorry to her other brothers, but he rules), she cares for him so much, even when him and Jane are on the rocks or broken up, she just wants to take him and wrap him in a blanket and just throw anyone that comes near him the bird and to tell them to fuck right off.Ugh, she just wants to protect them all, even with her clumsy ass self.

15) darcy has an argument stool, if you’re taller than her she will crack it out and make sure she is eye level or above.

#hc's collected from my teo previous blogs #*two #headcanon tbt

[negativefate]

rambling stream of consciousness essay i wrote to myself dec 29, 2014

listening to harsh noise music while driving down the highway i had just taken off at 630 from my house and before that woken up at 5 to get ready and finish cleaning the last set of things and before that leaving a party at kevins house and not telling anyone that i wasn't going to be there for new years and causing disappointment and before that seeing a show at dead leaf with a great 8bit band at the end and before that walking back and forth to the liquor store to get some beer and before that awkwardly getting dinner after my cousin came to visit when we probably should have gotten dinner with them and then before that i am cleaning up the basement again, organizing stupid cables, making a couple old devices work which is fun, but is it worth the time spent even? if not, then is my time on this planet even fucking worth it or am i just making trash like i believe these actual physical well designed objects that come to my home are so jump to me landing in kansas city and here i put on a tape just to get in the mood again i get there only an hour after landing i clumsily look up directions to get to jacks house on my phone i find there’s a bus that gets me there for fuckin a dollar fifty and i give them 2 and they give me a ticket for 50 cents back i ride the bus and i'm pretty tired for lack of sleep, and we drive through some weird semi industrial areas that are sparsely developed yet there are people getting on and off the bus fairly consistently i almost don't even notice who is getting on and off and at one point i look back to the back of the bus and see that i don't remember hardly any of the people getting on one person is looking back at me with a mousey face i typify some of these midwest people's looks certain women especially have a certain look that just reminds me of various nondescript porn actresses or something i start reading a economics book and it talks about oil prices and how scarcity reflects prices and is a major signal to the economy it is an interesting point of view but i look for holes in the logic because it seems obviously presenting a plain vewpoint it is clear that the US for example doesn't give a fuck about scarcity or perhaps the signalling system is so degraded that there is a runaway development the roads are overbuilt the cars are overrunning the roads if i take the face value economic view that this is a supply and demand problem i see it as a very perverse value system that rewards wasting they clearly even mention that soviet economies have gross inefficiencies and if we reflect on our own inefficiency it's clear to see that we are not perfect i feel that the author should have made this more clear i notice that i passed a street that i saw on my map (wyanadote) and while i didn't think it was "already" time to get off, several people are standing for several city blocks instead of sitting waiting to get off therefore I realize perhaps we're at a central location and certainly we are I stumble a couple blocks from the "main transit center" to another crossing on wyanodote, and i pass several office buildings with retail space that is broken down on the first floors first an eye doctor shop, filled with eye product ads but being torn to pieces otherwise then a sandwich shop, with dark cloudy windows and closed signs and a vibe of a previous generations comfort food when i reach the bustop at the streets that i had spotted on my map i was pleased and the troost bus came almost instantly i didn't understand how to scan my transfer so the lady did it for me, and i was acting bashful she was wondering if i knew it was the troost bus and i said yes i was wondering if that question was loaded i rode the bus in the front and looked at all the people that got on and off as we went towards jacks house we passed a row of two story townhouses that were red and white and repetitive that just looked like a dead end life situation for successful people i remembered my talk with my dad about retirement plans and investing money and about how i was literally thinking of blowing my brains out rather than do that and how i was yet again thinking about suicide in the bus i didn't even take it seriously but the vividness of me blowing my fucking head off was really awful i finally started recognizing some troost landmarks and scrambled off the bus i gave my ticket to a guy that wanted a transfer and he lamented being late for the bus that i just got off i don't know how to respond to this very well but wished him luck i walked up to jacks house and there are birds and squirrels and life just running wild there it is bright and sunny though a bit chilly (maybe 40 deg) and all these animals just were simply flourishing i walk inside through a couple closed doors and find my keys in the decorative chicken ornament i was surprised to also find several condoms inside the chicken, which was really amusing (e.g. the rooster...cock...haha) then i sat for a minute and petted the cat i wondered why the cat wasn't outside killing all the abundant wildlife whatever i was wearing three jackets because i was convinced that frontier would charge me for stuffing my jacket in my backpack and making it oversized in reality they didn't appear to care but they charge 50 dollars for a goddamn carry on that wasn't declared so i didn't risk it so i take off several layers and start my car i find where i left several of the christmas presents that I had meant to bring back home in the trunk and sort of kick myself for it i consider taking my car to a dealership to get it fixed up but have no idea where i also consider getting some food somewhere but decide to just hit the road i'm fairly tired still so i decide the stop off at fast food a couple miles out of town during the ride i am listening to some shitty talk radio about some guys that are talking about their "online trading academy" for stock trading i pull over and get some mountain dew, burrito and gasoline. slurping reality blub sucker is all i am at that moment. i do a couple stretches but it doesn't really feel very good. i am still listening to the radio in the parking lot and i notice that they replay recorded segments of themselves suggesting it is not at all a live show. at that point i decide it's time to blast the "white eye of winter" cassette and just start driving. i decide intentionally to start making stream of consciousness analogies to the noises instead of just letting it wash over me in some nonverbal stupidity i realize music journalists are probably better than me at this but i take some interest in just naming the feelings that i get so I'll repeat that hear a full spectrum white wash starts and then quickly gets crushed into a rumbling full force debase attack that's totally intentional about getting a skull crushing sound "large numbers of priests that were administrating the gulags were arrested and presumed killed" "others were sent to the labor camps...and suffered more slowly...assumed to be part of stalins fringe" a demented drum sound with a short delay time and extremely high feedback pounds and is absorbed by a sea-worthy hiss that fuzzes out and pounds once again to a deep drum a wind swept saturation takes hold and kills everything around it dead leaves litter the ground like there was never life anyways a thin veneer on the surface of our planet oscillations that never even really meant anything the dark fades away...like a comet that is completely grey....without color next a dirty fucking liquid sounds like it's being squeezed through a rubber feeding tube and a vaguely operatic chorus sings in the background, lulliby for a screaming nightmare some full bodied drone hovers over the chorus and takes the 17th century in it's arms and lays it gently to rest, taking each of the sharp moments, the sick deaths, the negative atrocity culture, and bringing it up onto a safer place, one where the only thing that matters is th industrialization of our times the industrialization has replaced any notion that feelings matter, any notion that a fair working environment is something that people deserve we could give retards something to do but it's already done and if you go up the ladder you see more and more things have been automated away you don't think about the roads being built do you? you don't think about the farms that cover 80+ percent of arable land do you? even when you're flying from new york to LA you don't hardly notice that humans have claimed this land for themselves scintillation frequency evokes this convulsive thought control that rises into a nasty chemical haze that demands more resources it's silenced into yet another flailing drippy sound fade out

a electric whip takes the stand fucking whining about the deprivation of resources and stuggles to make some connection fiercely spitting out brief moments of feedback between any number of frequencies that it can communicate on with an aether with non-existant endpoint it takes on more and more endpoint arcing back on itself and driving the frequencies into logical conundrums that antirepel itself and howl into additional painful derivative maneuvers it makes no difference to the machine what the effects of it's energy is being expended on, but only that some noise is being made taken astray leading reclamation of a formerly _done wrong_ system that is now instantaneously trashed and thrown under to make way for something more unplanned more unrelenting in it's consumption of power and antisocial connectivity whining and crying you see tear droplets form in the wave spectrogram taking a full 90 seconds to develop from a mixture of waveforms into a coherent pattern at your notification level notification level that is aloof from what you are supposed to be paying attention to but is instead wired into the inverse avoidance pattern the end the beginning once more gain blasting the appearance of nothing into a oscillation that has wavelengths spanning over years in time \ the bright lightning shatters a dark blank sentimental moment between us vaccum heavy rain sucks the white light from the heavens turning your back onto the keloid frostbite fallow bulbous pulsing face  trancerotten yellow drainage trapnell decade trip fucker stumble block meaningless powernazi storm chaser populace chain reveals a mathematical rule. a pseudoconsistent logic to resolve fndamental curry's paradox from thin air what you thought was a clumsy blind behemoth is now an industrialized system that seemingly stands on it's own regardless of what yo even thought your very presence is nothing more than that like a dinosaur a placement that just gives you a central prominence as i start the other side the lull the powerful lull of harmonics drilled deep into the subcortex drilled deep into the somnambulist deity that rocks the beddy-bye to sleep that keeps the sharp reality away for at least some time for that reality of simple nature, the spikes of inedible plant matter, the vast nothingness that humans have somehow decided is rightfully theirs. homesteaded one small plot at a time until the federal government stepped in and purchased the large swaths of land a musical pattern that resembles a shaman opening and closing it's arms above it's head and taken drumming starts thathits something that's the vbrational equivalent of a untuned drum mode across an entire flood basin drumming starts that calls into question or owner ship of that land and the melodic butterfly that was once a welcome sight is now almost  gone a tick tock dog growl gargling on some infected bacteria sinus cavity occupies the entire space you can hardly remember what things that you thought reckless distasteful nonsense squanders what was left of your vague fact driven storyline a sigh of relief ahlzagailzeguh stomps something fierce onto the mixing floor and drives metallic shards of broken dreams into the woodwork you don't think about who built your house did you/ why do you think you are worth anything to the other people around you when i say you am i actually referring to myself? i'm just desperately trying to offload my stupidity onto someone else? what is vulnerable to critique? i sit almost braindead when i face some of the most important situations yet when something is inconsequential i can leap into action and hurl retarded insults atpeople who don't deserve it like this girl that played prince at a party for like 4 hours i walked up to her and nearly choked her lights out and when she closed the computer i said no! play something else! i proceed to chose a random song that i thought was good off of youtube and then i proceed to just stand there and drunkenly creep on some peoples conversation wishing i could have just chosen a song that was better it's not my fault right? no, it is... there's a huge societal expectation that can't handle you being this way there's a roaring electric god that isn't going to cradle you in your arms while your social environment sees you as if you were a crying baby on an airplane take just a couple things at a time put them "in their right place" maybe then you won't have a crushing retardation lingering over everything you touch repeat this ad nauseum don't think for a minute that you can "escape" this reality you're "personal experiences" (your vacation, your hanging out with friends) is so far deviated from your systematically disassociated life happenstance that your better off to just give the middle finger to everyone and everything until it's over until it's over and you drop a sharp process into the ground and levitate transgressional power you can physically and mentally fail during this tremble weirdly under the occipital signal tension  drab naked torbid flippant crater wield two basic components and when suddenly connected create a huge imbalance that sends flux reeling superintensely into the weak painless skinless meat proper happenstance flayed skinless animal carcass rotting spongiform encephalitis eschera coli sacchromyces schizophrenia pombe river blindness parasite trapped nderneat the helencaste psycholayer obligate individual disease question i never know what to say

[theintrinsicwarrior]

The ‘Self-Help’ Problem

“Self-Help”. Hearing that term will probably make you think of TED talks, Tony Robbins seminars and meditation. I assume you already know what self help is, but if not, it’s basically a word used to describe a genre of material that involves giving people advice in different areas of life and providing information regarding one’s own self-development and wellbeing. It’s a very broad genre that deals with what it’s name suggests: Helping yourself. In this post I want to talk about the most common trap that people (myself included) often run into with this material. I’ve been on my own journey with this stuff and I will say now that, although there a lot of problems with this material, it can also provide a lot useful tools that are backed up by psychology and scientific recognition. Although it looks like it, this isn’t going to be a biased rant with me bashing this industry with everything I have. In fact, I still use some of the things I’ve learnt from this material in my life today with great results. This will be me talking about the common pitfall people run into with this material and I’ll use my own experience as an example.

First of, let’s break down this term “Self-Help”. This word implies that you: your self, needs ‘help’. It implies that you have a problem and need help with it. That you are not good right now and that you need help make yourself good. You have an issue with yourself, so logically, you need ’self help’. Off to a great start, right? Let’s paint a picture to illustrate my point here. Imagine a guy. This guy’s name is Luke. Luke has a severe case of social anxiety, realises it and begins reading self help books on how to overcome social anxiety. Logical right? Luke reads these books, feels motivated and decides to go to a bar and talk to people. He gets to the bar and his mind is going blank and crazy at the same time. He sits down anxiously while looking for a group or person to approach. As time goes by his anxiety increases, nerves are on overdrive and starts to sweat heavily. His heart is going faster than Usain bolt. His entire physiology is saying ‘this is scary, we have to get out of here!’. He tells himself ’this is a mistake, I can’t do this’ and decides to go home. He drives home with what feels like a tidal wave of shame and regret to come over him. Thoughts of self-doubt overwhelm him at the same time. After these thoughts and feelings, he thinks: ‘maybe those books I read were shit?’, ‘maybe I should try looking at some better stuff on Youtube?’. So he does. He watches some random YouTube videos that deal with social anxiety and once again, gets motivation to go out and approach people. You already know what happens. He once again feels overwhelmed by anxiety, wimps out, drives home with shameful feelings, only to seek out more self help material. Maybe he goes into depression, thinking he will never ‘beat’ his anxiety. Whats actually happening here is his belief that his social anxiety is a problem is reinforcing itself, ultimately affecting how he views himself. He never stops to say: ‘what if having social anxiety is OK and in the end, that makes me OK?’ What if Luke takes a second to stop trying to change himself, stops trying to find the perfect book on how to ‘fix’ himself and just accept himself? Howbowdeh!? This is the common problem I’m talking about: The lack of unconditional self-acceptance. Right now I’m studying Psychology & Counselling and I’ve learnt some interesting things about therapy and different therapeutic modalities. So far, my favourite psychologist I’ve learnt about is Carl Rogers. My guy Carl Rogers founded a modality in counselling known as ‘Person centred therapy’. It is based around many principles but one of them is a condition known as ‘Unconditional Positive Regard’. This refers to the therapist unconditionally accepting the client as they are, as opposed to accepting them under certain conditions. His theory here was that if the therapist demonstrates unconditional acceptance to the client, they are likely to accept themselves which would allow them to comprehend their issues effectively. I’ve personally experienced this when I went to see a psychologist, seen video footage of sessions where this is demonstrated and read about it in countless text books. I’d say it works! So let’s go back to the example of Luke. If Luke did end up accepting himself unconditionally, and accepted that being socially anxious is fine and that he doesn’t need to be ‘fixed', wouldn’t he be more likely to feel comfortable in social situations? Right now, he’s basically telling himself “being socially anxious is a problem and therefore I cannot be myself” His entire self concept revolves around trying to be confident in social situations, which always reinforces the idea that he isn’t when he becomes anxious. The thing I want to express most here is that, once upon a time, I was Luke. I mean, my social anxiety was not as extreme as his, but it still caused me to struggle with confidence and self-esteem. I would read book after book, article after article, trying to ‘fix myself’. I worked overtime to become the super confident, extroverted badass who everybody liked and was friends with and repressed any uncomfortable emotions I’d feel regarding my awkwardness. Among other issues, it led to me getting depression symptoms and motivated me to see a therapist to find out why I was bombarded with negative thoughts and emotions. Turns out, accepting myself was all I had to freaking do! Though, accepting your imperfections is far from the easiest thing in the world, it was easily one of the most liberating things I could have ever done. The message here? You don’t need to be fixed! There’s nothing wrong with you! I don’t care if you’ve been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, PTSD and OCD. I don’t care if you literally shit your pants every time you go to a party where you know people. Realise there’s nothing to fix or work on. There’s no magic book, article, seminar, life coach, weekend retreat, TED talk, meditation routine, NLP course or YouTube video that is going to make you ’normal'! Realise those imperfections make you incredible, unique and great. Own that aspect of yourself, retrain your mind to see the greatness in your imperfections and watch progress unfold (and all the money you’ll save!). 

Another thing I want speak on regarding self help is two mindsets: The first one is this “just be positive and say 10 affirmations in the mirror every morning” mindset’. The second is the “just be confident and you’ll get everything you want in your life” type ideology the general majority of self help content preaches. Every second self help book, article, YouTube video will pump you with this idea that if you are feeling negative emotions and don’t feel confident in yourself, the answer is simple: focus on the positive! Duh! Feeling depressed about losing your job, your dog dying and your recent break-up? Simple! Just say positive affirmations like “I am good enough and deserve everything good in life” every morning in the mirror while smiling because that will make you happy! Problem solved! Happy days, come at me! If you can’t tell by the tone here, I’m being sarcastic. For you to tell someone who is depressed and has a hopeless outlook in life to just say some positive things, focus on the positive to try and change their feelings is counter-productive. The more that person tries to focus on being positive, the more they are reminded that they’re depressed and have negative thoughts, making it worse! To focus on what you ‘don’t have' in order to get away from what you have right now is going to only reinforce a ‘scarcity mindset’. It’s you saying “I don’t have this thing right now and I need it to be OK with myself”. It’s going back to what I said in the previous paragraph: Rejecting your current state as not being good enough just reinforces your current state as not being good enough even more. It becomes a paradox: The more you reject a negative state of being, the more it will persist. Oooh, don’t you love paradoxes?! Negative states of being are one of those things that need to be experienced and embraced, no matter how uncomfortable they are. They need to be accepted (there’s that word again!). You ask anyone who has been through an epically painful experience and they will likely say something along the lines of: "It was hard to go through that, but I’m thankful I did because it made me stronger/better/confident etc.” Ok, that might be a generalisation, but I’ve heard this enough times from others and tell myself this all the time regarding certain experiences. So now the bullshit “acting confident even if you’re not is the ticket to kicking ass in life” mindset. Before I go into this, can I just say, confidence has to be one of the most ambigous concepts regarding human behaviour. How do you measure confidence? What does a confident person act like? These questions plagued me in a good portion of my 20’s. At one point, I came to a conclusion that confidence is measured by how much you talk. It’s how extraverted you act in social scenarios. It’s how much you can prove you don’t care. It’s how indifferent you are in relation to things happening to you, good or bad. I walked around for a good 7-8 years believing this. Can you blame me? Our society pumps us with this notion that confidence is basically you being overly sure of yourself, super-talkative and indifferent on an obnoxious scale. Yeah, that’s what confidence is! Of course! Thank you society!  If I went to parties or a social gathering and acted like that (which I have, mind you!), you best believe people are going to cringe so hard their facial muscles will be getting a workout! For self help to communicate the repetitive message of ’the key is to just be confident’ is stupid on too many levels to even fathom. In my experience, confidence come's from failing over and over, till you reach the point where you have experience and just know what to do - because you’ve done it a million times. Note the keyword in that last sentence: Failing. Another keyword: Experience. If we want to make a logical formula for confidence it would go something like: Repeated failure = Experience = Confidence. Howbowdeh!? "But I want examples, Aden!” Of course you do. When I started taking exercise seriously, I went through a period of 4-5 years where I would: Lose the weight I wanted, get too comfortable with food, put on more than weight I lost before, get motivated again and repeat the cycle. At first I wasn’t ‘confident’ in how to lose weight. There were so many things that contributed to weight loss that it confused me: What types of food do I eat? how much of it do I have? What exercises do I need to do? . I repeated this cycle where I would get success and inevitably ‘fail’ enough times to the point where I just knew I could lose weight if I ever put it on again. Cut calories, salt, sugar, dense carbs. Have lower portion meals and increase high intensity cardio mixed with some muscle building workouts. In the formula, It would look like: Gain weight (Repeated Failure) = Learn how to lose weight (Experience) = Confidence in losing weight/gaining muscle. All of this can be summed up by saying: "Get comfortable with failing and you’ll become confident". Repeating that: You’ll ‘become’ confident. As in, you’ll just be confident and not have to worry about whether you are or not. Self help says: "You’ll become confident when you start ACTING like it”. See that word? Acting? That implies that you're not confident, so if you have to act confident, that reinforces the reality that you’re not confident. Awesome, my guy. Go through life like that and see what happens. ‘Fake it till you make it’ is the common saying. "But Aden, failing over and over just to be confident is going to be hard, draining, not to mention it will take forever!" I get it. Obviously, failing over and over again is not easy. It’s not sexy. It’s not quick and convenient . If there’s one thing self help content will try to sell you is ‘quick and convenient’, short term tactics to get results. My hypothesis? You already know. Be happy with failing. Treat failures as essential lessons for 'next time’. Learn ’the hard way’. Extract the ‘gift' out of every experience, good or bad. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

To sum up this whole post: First, Accept yourself and negative states unconditionally, other wise you’ll end up chasing a false illusion of happiness. Second, learn things the hard way: Through honest experience and taking the lessons from those experiences to gain confidence, as opposed to copying what you perceive a confident person does. I’ll also take this time to say that, while most self-help can border around the naive and unrealistic, I’d recommend looking into authors that are categorised as ’self help’ but are actually geared towards the things I spoke about in this post - self acceptance and congruence. Mark Manson, the author of a book you’ve probably seen in book shops called ’The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***’, is probably one of the most popular to reject these notions of obnoxious, positivity escapism and incongruent confidence ideas. The Subtle Art and his book for men regarding dating and relationships titled Models have been key since I’ve practiced self-acceptance and let go of toxic self help ideology. 

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”

- Carl Rogers

[okinawa-girl]

So you got a Tokyo placement? My advice to incoming Tokyo (private) JETs

This post is basically my advice to anyone with a Tokyo placement, mainly for private schoolers since that’s where I’m coming from but its applicable to general Tokyo JETs as well. 

In short, I wanted to write a post because I see a lot of misinformation out there or just a lack of info at all because Tokyo placements are some what new and unique. I also sometimes see other JETs bashing on Tokyo placements or I see incoming JETs apprehensive and/or disappointed about being placed here. But like any other placement, there are good points and bad points. And as the old (annoying) saying goes, every situation is different. Just like in other places in Japan, your experience is going to vary greatly depending on the school(s) you work at- almost every other private school JET has a slightly different situation than myself. 

HOWEVER that being said, there are some general points, both positive and negative, that I would like to discuss in this post; in order to give a realistic look into what Tokyo placements can be like.

So let’s start off with…

 THE BAD

-The Apartment Situation  

Ah yes the dreaded apartment situation. Tokyo JETs do really get the short end of the stick when it comes to accommodation. There is no teacher housing or any type of housing already set up for ALTs, and we are not allowed to pass down apartments to our successors (as far as I know). We are pretty much on our own. Although we are put in contact with real estate agents and are provided a temp apartment for two weeks at first, other than that our schools have little to do with our housing. I was lucky enough to snag a place before I arrived in Tokyo and all I had to do was sign for it when I arrived, so I cannot stress enough that you need to be proactive- start looking at apartments now. Even if you don’t know where your school is exactly yet, start researching what kind of apartments are out there, get familiar with Japanese housing lingo, figure out what your (reasonable) deal breakers are, get an idea of your budget, get familiar with the layout of Tokyo itself. When you do know your school- start looking up main train lines, what stations will allow you easy access to school and/or other places in the city, figure out how long of a commute you’re willing to take (which is a whole other can of worms but I’ll save that for another time), think about if you want to live in a livelier area or more laid back- Tokyo literally has it all so you need to narrow down your options. I was very prepared for the apartment search and even with my preparedness, it was still a stressful situation- the market moves quickly, the options for foreigners are somewhat limited, and on to my next point…

-The Cost

Unfortunately rent in Tokyo is more expensive and on top of that we do not receive any type of subsidy either like some JETs in other places do. Depending on the location, age, and size of the place, a 1R apartment not including utilities, can range from around 70000yen to 100000yen (but of course there are exceptions that can be higher or lower). Then there’s the actual set up costs which can run as high as 3-4months rent due upfront (usually consists of first month’s rent, a deposit, nonrefundable “key” money, fire insurance, sometimes a cleaning fee, agent fee, and a guarantor fee). My personal start-up cost for my apartment was about 3,000 US dollars. And then we have to dive into furnishing the apartment. Most apartments come with almost nothing- when I moved in, I had a ceiling light and a stove-top. That’s literally it. I highly recommend going to recycle/2nd hand shops for appliances like fridges and washing machines- they are so much cheaper, most are still in great condition, and the stores will usually deliver it to your place so no need to worry about a car. Nitori, IKEA, 3coins, 100yen shops are all great places to look for other cheap basic items you’ll need- maybe someday I’ll write a whole other post about how to furnish a bare apartment for cheap.

In general, the cost of living in Tokyo is higher than other more rural places. This isn’t to say that Tokyo is soooo sooooo incredibly expensive though, it’s still definitely doable on the JET salary- we just may not be able to save as much or have as much disposable income. Our wages are still livable and I can still afford to travel (both locally and internationally) and the occasional big “treat yo’ self” purchase. 

-Harder to connect with the “local” community

Because we don’t live in a small town, you don’t get as many opportunities to connect with people outside of your school. I will admit, I don’t know any of my neighbors, and besides the connections I had made prior to my time on JET, I have not met any new Japanese people outside of my school community. Everyone is not going to know your name, you’re probably not going to be featured in the newspaper, and you definitely will not be the only foreigner. And it can be easier to fall into the “gaijin bubble” too. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to connect with a local community. I know lots of JETs that have gotten really involved in specific communities within Tokyo- whether that be through hobbies, religious groups, classes, and/or clubs. Just because you’re not in a small town doesn’t mean there aren’t opportunities to connect with local communities- it may just take some more effort to find them.

-Maybe not as much support

Now this point is mainly coming from my own perspective and the impression that I have, but I feel that Tokyo JETs get a less amount of support for our COs. My school at least, has taken a fairly hands off approach (however I’m sure that someone at my school would be more than willing to help me with something if I asked). From what I know, a lot of us had to set up our phone, banking, internet, etc. on our own. Some schools I know didn’t even help with going to the city hall to register your address. And as I stated before they don't really assist us with housing as well*. I think the reason for this lack of initial support, is that for most of the private schools in Tokyo this is the only first or second JET they’ve ever had. There is no precedent of how things are supposed to be handled or they aren’t completely aware of what they could be doing to help. So, I would say if you’re worried about something, ask about it because chances are your school isn’t aware of the situation or don’t know you need help. If no one at your school is willing to help, ask other Tokyo JETs because we’ve all literally been there before so we can help you out. Again you have to be proactive in your situation.

*also noted we are on our own for setting up utilities like gas, water, and electric in the apartment- although if you use the agent provided by the school they will help you with this.

 But don't worry! Because after all of that there’s also….

 THE GOOD

+ The city itself

Tokyo is a massive city; there is always something going on, something to do, people to meet. I’ve lived in this city for about 2 years now and there is still so much that I haven’t done or seen yet. Every area has a different feeling and vibe, it’s like having a bunch of smaller cities jam-packed into one. It may seem daunting at first but it really is an amazing place to live. Everything is at your fingertips and it’s easy to find something to do, something to see- it’s hard to be bored in a city like Tokyo. Also, you may think Tokyo is only urban, but that isn’t true- there are great outdoor areas just a short trip from downtown and even within the urban sprawl there are so many beautiful parks to relax in. It’s also easy to travel to other places in and outside of Japan from Tokyo since it's the country’s main transportation hub. Overall I think it’s an amazing experience to live in a city like Tokyo. We may not get the small town experience that many other JETs do, but life in Tokyo is no small feat either. Don’t let others who say Tokyo “isn’t real Japan” get you down! Sure, it may be different from other places, but it doesn’t mean its any less “authentic” (whatever that means- I have so many issues with this line of thinking that I will probably detail it in another post) and you can have an absolutely amazing time here.

+Public transport is amazing

I love Tokyo’s public transport system. Granted I come from a place in the US that has about zero public transport, but Tokyo is really something else. You can get just about anywhere by train, subway, bus, etc. And it’s really easy to understand as well- after a few weeks you’ll pick it up in no time. Passmo/Suica makes it easy to get around too- just put some money on your card and your set to go, no worrying about buying location specific tickets. I love the freedom that a great public transport system in a city designed for pedestrians and not cars, gives you to go out and explore. Also, you don’t have to worry about buying a car, car insurance, or getting a driver license, so in that aspect we do save some cash compared to our more rural counterparts.

+English services when needed

This mainly goes for things like doctors. The first year I came to Japan, I had two incidents where I had to go to specialized doctors and it was so nice to be able to find English speaking services. I speak conversational level Japanese, but for things like medical services, I felt more assured and comfortable talking in my native language. Tokyo has no shortage of English services if you need them, especially with the influx of foreign travelers its seen in recent years. Besides medical services, I know certain bank branches, phone service shops, some ward offices, provide either service in English or provide translated info in English. HOWEVER, this does not mean that the majority of people you encounter will be able to speak English- this is one misconception I see a lot from JETs/people who have not lived (emphasis on the lived not just visited) in Tokyo before. We may have more English services than other areas in Japan, but it’s still not that many- you specifically have to seek them out, they are not the norm. Also I do not use English on a daily basis for most of my interactions (outside of school and friends)- most retail workers, waiters/waitresses, station attendants, ie. the general population, do NOT speak English.

+Closer relationship with your school

In comparison to other JETs who have multiple schools, most if not all Tokyo JETs work for one specific school. For private JETs that means we don’t even have a BOE, everything goes on at your specific school. This makes it easy to integrate into your school’s community- you get the chance to see the same students every day, the same coworkers and JTEs. Because of this, you are in a position to be able to easily develop relationships with them, compared to if you worked at multiple schools and/or were based at a BOE. I’m like a (semi)normal staff member at my school, which is nice because it makes up for the fact that I don’t have that “local” community which comes with living in a smaller area. My school is my community. I can’t speak on behalf of other JETs because I don’t fully know their experiences or situations, but the fact that I teach at one school is one of my favorite things about my job. Of course I can still feel like an outsider at times, but because I’m like regular staff here it really feels like I’m truly a part of the school.

 +Possibly more time off (private school only)

Now let me preface this by stressing the “possibly”, everyone’s school is different but for the most part I believe us private school JETs get more time off than the average JET (I cannot say anything on behalf of public school Tokyo JETs because I’m not 100% sure of the situation for them but I believe it’s a bit more than average as well). Basically, because we don’t have a BOE we are not required to do (some of) the desk warming that comes with that. For example, once the kids are off from school, I am not required to come into work. So I get like 2 ½ weeks off during the holidays in Dec/Jan, another week and a half in early spring, and also a considerable amount of time in August. But that’s on the lower side, I know other JETs that get even more time off than that- they are only required to come in when regular classes are in schedule (so no work during testing periods, supplementary classes, etc.). But to balance this, I know most Tokyo private school JETs only have 10 days paid leave and no sick leave.

 +Can choose where you want to live

The silver lining of the apartment situation is that we have the freedom to choose where we want to live. Wanna save some yen and live a bit father from school? You can do that! Wanna live 2 minutes from school? You can do that! Wanna live in a more urban area in the middle of the city? You can do that! Wanna live in a rural area? You can do that! Wanna live in sharehouse? You can do that! You can do whatever you want- you are in charge. You make your budget, your list of wants- you decide what will work the best for you! You also don’t have to worry about moving into an old dirty apartment that 20+ JETs have lived in before you. Your school doesn’t have a say in where you live but they will reimburse you commuting costs, so really the choice is all yours!

To sum up: I guess my main advice to incoming Tokyo JETs is to BE PROACTIVE. Be proactive with the housing situation, with getting involved in local communities, and with seeking support because often these things will not just fall into your lap nicely on their own. If you do that, Tokyo can be an amazing placement. It’s understandable to be disappointed at first about being placed in Tokyo if you were expecting something else, but don’t judge it too harshly before you get here. Even if you’ve been to Tokyo before, visiting here and living here are two very different things. And as I’ve said before, the city is full of endless possibilities- it’s definitely not all like the bright lights and busy streets of Shinjuku. It may be a bit tough at times, but living in Tokyo is an experience like nothing else- embrace it, run with it, and have fun!

#jet program #jet programme #Tokyo jet #tjet

[imuskansameer]

Advantages of Gaming - PC and Video Games

Gaming is one of many biggest hobbies and even careers in the world. People play games for fun or learning while others record videos about the games. In this informative article, I will focus more on gaming itself and not so much the side of steps to make gaming videos. Gamers come in all different ages, genders, religions, locations and shapes. The backgrounds of folks who are gamers make gaming that much more fun.  https://goldciderssun.com/

Backgrounds of gamers can enjoy a component in the type of games that people play. You will find a myriad of combinations for different categories associated with the type of games and type of gamers. You really should go through the game's website to obtain all the pertinent information ahead of buying.

There are lots of online platforms where you can buy games from such as for instance Steam or Humble Bundle. Those sites will give you the description, videos by the organization, pictures, user and non-user tags, reviews, website, company and their social account(s). Be aware the game's website mightn't explain to you all you need to know. As a minimum, a gambling company will show a short sales pitch description, tiny amount of pictures (5 at best), a couple of videos by them and their social accounts. The absolute most they'll provide is an informative description, their social accounts, reading user reviews and videos by them.

In games that report a male strong and smart, he will mostly likely be white, tall, thin, movie star looking and buff. You'll rarely see him be a group, short, chubby, not buff, nerdy looking, while still being strong and smart. You see this even LESS for females. Some females in games are also white, tall, thin and strong while showing skin like no tomorrow. You only see THESE females in MMORPG games (Massively Multiplayer online Role Playing Game) though. RPG games are intended for fantasy worlds where you mostly fight people and monsters. Of course the females'stats will be strong but they won't look strong.

In many games, if they add a personality for you yourself to play they always put in a white male first, a white female, then a black male, and a black female. They don't even really add individuals who are mixes of races or in between. As it pertains to the black characters they just add one shade of "black" or "African American" and not every black person in the world is that shade.

In games, nearly all the characters are always thin and tall. You never really see characters which are short and thin, tall and chubby, short and chubby, etc. There are certainly a lot of people who aren't thin and who aren't tall.

Then lastly, there's the mental message that complements the gender, race, and body type. What do I am talking about by the mental message? Some games send an indirect message about this character being strong and smart or something else. While for other games it can be a mental message either deliberately or not. For instance, in the game you play and you see a group female who is short, chubby, nerdy looking and her traits are to be a goof ball, naive, and dumb. It could send a mental message for you that people that look like her are just like her. They're not smart, they aren't thin, and aren't tall. They did poorly in school, etc. etc. So you begin thinking those activities based on not only seeing this because game over and over again, nevertheless when it happens in other games too.

The worst part is NONE of these exact things are true. Yes, some individuals aren't thin, tall, and maybe not too bright; however, not EVERYONE is like this! You do have short chubby minorities that are smart as all get out! You have all kinds of combinations of individuals who ARE smart! Obviously, all these reasons for having gender, race, body type, and messages aren't just in gaming; they're in movies, TV shows, ads, etc. What's interesting is that a few of the creators who make the games, movies, TV shows, ads, etc., are minorities themselves and they make up the people of the earth. (Search "world population by race 2016" and click the first three links if you never believe me.)

Quick disclaimer: I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE! Yes, I was shouting that. This area of this article is letting you know what I know, read, hear and experience in gaming.

If that you don't trust in me go look at today's TV shows, movies, ads, and games. A show to check out permanently representation is Milo Murphy's Law. Two games to check out as a research for good representation are OverWatch and Atlas Reactor. Now in these fields it has gotten better for representation specifically gender, race and just now starting body type (specifically in this order). Some games even add robots and creatures as playable characters to prevent having issues with representation. This removes the situation of users wanting a character to represent their actual or preferred gender, race, or body type because now there's a figure most users can agree on. All things considered, you can't please everyone.

Alright, given that I ranted and got the bad stuff out from the way; let's enter the good elements of gaming! You have gamers as young as three years old and as old as 90+! Irrespective of your actual age, race, gender, religion, culture, or location gaming could be advantageous to anyone. Gaming can not merely be fun, but beneficial and educational.

Good results with gaming is it will also help youth have significantly more confidence in themselves and become more social. Should they play an on the web multiplayer game and communicate with other players around the globe, this assists then get accustomed to conversing with other folks besides family and they gain confidence in what they're saying. They can go from an introvert to a social fanatic! It could happen fast or slowly. Even though it's not just a game but a area for gamers, artists, fashion designers, car enthusiast, etc. to chat; it'll still make them be much more social. Keep in mind though, typing to someone and then voice chatting to someone are two different experiences. Youth can be extremely social when typing but very shy when voice chatting.

This is how I am. Before I was shy when speaking with people I didn't know if it was online or offline, now I've are more confident with it because I am aware how to handle myself and have confidence in myself. But in regards to voice chatting online, I'm the quiet person on the chat. Counterproductive right! You might even forget I was in a phone with you! Before when the folks at the bank said "Hi" I wouldn't say anything, now I really respond and say "Hi. How are you currently?" Next I don't really expect to speak with them so I'll be quiet again lol. See what After all? After socializing, generally, over time you obtain better at it and become less nervous and more confident in yourself.

Another benefit with gaming is team work. Sometimes in games the only path to win or accomplish an objective is to work with more than one players. In certain games, players are allowed an activity may be accomplished with just one player, but it might be harder if you have significantly more players than yourself. Other times certain tasks can't be accomplished with one player and need two or more. There are occasions you produce a group with your pals or family to complete the goal. Other times you may make an organization with people you didn't know.

This is where it can get tricky. If it is a game where you can create a group that's invite only, you'd just invite friends and family or family. You can strategize using them, you'd be much more comfortable talking using them, and you'll all consent to work together. If it's a game where there's no group system but you can still use others, aka free for fall, and you can talk with them there may still be considered a goal that may only be completed with multiple players. Have you got to play with other players you've never talked to before if your family and friends can't join you and you genuinely wish to complete this goal?

This isn't a poor thing though! That is where you not only are more social but you learn to assist other players you've never met before. If you always play together with your family and friends you both already understand how to come together, how the other thinks, etc. But if it's someone you've never met it can be a little difficult. Me and my buddy grew up doing everything together without really having any friends, maybe colleagues and associates but not really friends. So we were very used to knowing what another wanted or how they played etc. But whenever we actually got two friends, it absolutely was very difficult to agree with many things. So if you play and assist others now it is likely to be easier later. Me and my buddy have improved our skills to utilize others.

Another benefit is patience which ties in with team building and socializing. After all, to be able to improve at something you not just keep carrying it out but you have to have patience while doing it. There are numerous times in games where you have to wait. The same as reading is in everything, you have to have patience for everything. In games you always have to hold back for something. You must have patience for finding something, something to complete cooking, something to complete dying, your friends ahead back from going afk (Away From Keyboard), another wave of monsters ahead, another level to start, etc. etc. I required patience when writing this informative article! So gaming will help you've more patience in gaming and everyday life.

[casuallyyounginfluencer-blog]

In Bitcoin We Have confidence in?

Amount you may have known Bitcoin, but tend to people state them? Generally it actually is recognized as an actual non-government virtual currency exchange. Bitcoin will be also known as the cybercurrency as well as, in any nod for its protected beginnings, a fabulous cryptocurrency. The types are truthful a sufficient amount of, and they miss the point. It is really along the lines of presenting any People.Lenses. greenback being alternative notepad by using imagery with it. I even have my own, personal strategies of meals Bitcoin. I believe personal computer just as hold funding without the stow. Selecting a Bitcoin Exchange In The Easy Way paid smart phone devoid of the call up. Silver devoid of the iron. Professional yield with no unsecured debts, private or public, except when that bash to who it truly is tendered hopes to agree to that. A musical instrument backed by being full believe plus credit standing solely of your company's unfamiliar founding fathers, with regard to with who I just as a result insert very little beliefs, and also with who My wife and i make little or no credit using the exception of individuals. I would not feel any kind of bitcoin having a 10-foot Thumbs power cord. But a nice number of people have also, and the majority a great deal more immediately can easily. That is slightly considering the fact that online marketers Cameron and additionally Tyler Winklevoss, most famous thus to their component in your root beginnings regarding Zynga, have been desiring to utilization ones own electronic intelligent, and funds, to obtain Bitcoin back into the mainstream. The exact Winklevosses wish to get started in a fantastic exchange-traded advance for the purpose of bitcoins. A strong Exchange traded fund will make Bitcoin more widely designed to shareholders what person don't have the executive know-how to consider the digital trade particularly. In July, typically the Winklevosses are said to produce presented throughout One percent of all of the existent bitcoins. Created in '09 by simply an excellent mysterious cryptographer, Bitcoin is run on the idea which often things, in fact intangible aspects of passcode, can aquire enjoy assuming that a sufficient quantity of consumers arrange to address it simply because valued. Bitcoins are present merely simply because automated representations and are not labelled for virtually any regular trade. While using Bitcoin web site, "Bitcoin is planned within the idea of a whole new style of cash which utilizes cryptography to manage the country's innovation as well as business, other than relying upon single experts.In (Just one) Completely new bitcoins usually are "mined" just by participants whom reduce home computer rules to learn practical silver and gold coins. Bitcoins' proposed developers need testified that the greatest approach of obtaining bitcoins is capped at 21 , 000, 000. While you are Bitcoin boosts as well mainly because "a exceptionally comfortable and cheap tactic to manage expenditures,Throughout (Regarding) in actual fact not many business owners usually make their these move to allow bitcoins. Of those who contain, an excessive plethora work with the very blackmarket. Bitcoins will be swapped anonymously over the web, with none venture by identified finance institutions. As of Subsequent, selling of medicine and other black-market products included it is estimated that 20 % relating to coach transfers by bitcoins for You actually.Utes. funds about the chief Bitcoin exchange, known as Mt. Gox. Your Treatment Administration Enterprise a short while ago done the nation's first-ever Bitcoin seizure, when said to be attaching a new exchange upon the anonymous Bitcoin-only market place Silk Way to all of the profit connected with conventional combined with illicit meds. A number Bitcoin buyers also have advisable that this currency can serve as a method to prevent overtax. Which may be right, however only meaning which bitcoins allow spurious duty evasion, not in the " sense " they in fact function any existing character in trustworthy fiscal organizing. While under fed tax burden laws, simply no revenue should rotate for a after tax transfer to happen. Barter and additional non-cash trades still exist wholly after tax. There isn't really conisder that deals involving bitcoins may be remedied in another way to. Outside villain element, Bitcoin's biggest supporters are actually buyers, that have no goal of employing bitcoins to choose almost anything. A majority of these traders imagine that the very reasonably limited strategy to obtain bitcoins will definitely force their specific valuation to check out a continuing ascending velocity. Bitcoin offers for sure found a certain amount of noticeable huge amounts around advantage. Nevertheless it really also professional primary claims, and this includes your 80 % refuse more than 24 hours found in June. At the beginning of this specific time, bitcoins were found to be as a result of throughout $90, through a high of $266 until the September auto crash. These were fx trading close $97 the 2009 full week, as indicated by mtgox.net. Typically the Winklevosses is likely to make Bitcoin buying simpler by getting smaller-scale traders to learn, or perhaps even eliminate, because predicament is likely to be, without the hassle of actually purchasing along with maintaining these electronic and digital coins. Irrespective of situations relating to security, Bitcoin safe-keeping has turned out to be serious. For 2011, an episode over the Mt. Gox trading caused the product to make sure you for the short term close and additionally generated the cost of entertainment bitcoins if you want to shortly fall season to almost zero. Since Bitcoin contracts are generally mysterious, there is very little choice of locating that causes in the event you suddenly come across your main digital pants pocket clear. That the Winklevosses get hold of regulatory sanction, its Exchange traded fund would help guard brokers on the possible danger of human crime. All of the Exchange traded fund, yet, would undoubtedly relax manage the condition with unpredictability brought on by large-scale robberies in another place inside the Bitcoin promote. Whilst Bitcoin comes engrossed in some high-tech veneer, this method next generation concerning foreign currency echange comes with a unforeseen measure in common with just about the oldest values: silver. Bitcoin's purchase terminology, particularly the key phrase "mining,Throughout . decorations this specific interconnection, plus purposefully so that. Your exploration task should be hard becoming a regulation along present, resembling often the removing of extra traditional materials inside the floor. From providing reliability, although, this excellent unsupported claims need to be a promises for notify. Platinum is usually an funding involved with last resort. It's little bit of unique appeal. Doesn't necessarily develop attraction. But because its furnish is only a certain, it is always thought to be being much more sound as compared with kinds of moolah that are imprinted when necessary. The situation due to precious metal can it be would not do what's required. Considering the fact that gold coins now have gotten past use, lots of the planet's precious metal at present is parked , inside the containers connected with essential loan companies and other finance institutions. Thus, precious metal gives you modest link to the true financial climate. That are able to look like an excellent when bona fide economic crisis would seem a real hard spot always be. But as shortly such as several other engaging expenditure of money decisions surface, yellow metal sheds it's come alive. That maybe what the real estate sector utilizing the recently available refuses on platinum selling prices. During their media to take Bitcoin within the well-liked, its own recommends own acknowledged, combined with, occasionally sought for, more laws. Last week Mt. Gox enlisted itself just like a wealth companies venture along with the Treasury Division's Monetary Infractions Enforcement Multilevel. It offers additionally elevated client verification guidelines. Improvements entered give an account to some sort of May instruction out of Cash Offences Administration Networking system making clear the utilization of it's actually principles to virtual stock markets. All of the Winklevosses' supposed ETF would bring an innovative a higher level your willingness. Over time, though, Simply put i be expecting in which Bitcoin might calm down back into the eye shadows belonging to the underground. Folks that need restricted, acquire currency exchange that they're going to choose regarding genuine transactions will select one of the several stock markets presently endorsed by a nationwide national loaded with more than enough guides, a real real-world economic climate and extra transparency and also security and safety when compared with the Bitcoin community can grant. Following a Bitcoin percolate jolts, we will not always be able to utilize a new surviving silver coins to obtain gold.