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krashlite · 18 days

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Again, if you found this before the Start Post or TIES’ post, go back and read! I’m going through and analyzing the matching wounds for each LimL alliance

Continuing off of TIES’ section; they all had a shaky past with Bdubs, so it’s really no surprise they ended up in conflict with the Clockers

But speaking of the Clockers, let’s look at them next. For the Clockers, all three of them have issues with day 1 crews, on how they focus on this randomized group above all else. Except they have different issues regarding it

There was a lot of Bdubs slander in the TIES section so let’s start with him. I’ve already mentioned that he’s very headstrong, but he Is well meaning. For the Crastle, he was acting in defense of Cleo and everyone who sought shelter in their walls. For the snow fort, he was acting in defense of Etho, seeing team BEST as a conduit for this. In DL he poured his heart and soul into his alliance with Impulse. The connection with these three is also shown symbolically- remember, it’s canon that he was married to all three in their respective seasons! His loyalties lay with them above all else, and everything he did was always done For Them

(And yes, the marriage thing makes it Hella Weird with LimL introducing family dynamics. Personally, I go chronologically with things. If the marriage was introduced Before the family dynamics, the marriage is what I go with. If the family dynamics were introduced Before the marriage, the family dynamics are what I go with. It’s not perfect, especially with SL calling back to LimL, but moving on)

But with him pouring everything into defending his One Person, he has a bad habit of either disregarding or outright hurting other allies. In his mind, once they’ve become a threat, they will always Be a threat to him and his One Person.

In 3L, I would argue the firing squad wasn’t about the helmet, but about Dare to Flare, the deadly minigame Tango had set up as a loophole for murder. Bdubs thought the lesson would be learned and Tango would just. Go back to being their ally, but he didn’t see that he’d just pushed Tango away. Bdubs was also quick to catch that Impulse was playing all sides, losing his trust in him even as Cleo wanted to keep Impulse as a double agent.

Bdubs went along with it for her, the same way he went along with other alliances that Cleo had decided to negotiate. But when Cleo was gone before him, he was completely lost! The moments after Cleo’s death are honestly HARROWING from Bdubs’s point of view. One moment they’re talking, the next Cleo is attacking Ren and is struck down. Bdubs is surrounded, he is alone, and is made to understand that nobody is coming to save him, not even Impulse, who was present for this! I think a part of him blames Impulse specifically for Cleo’s death, with Impulse failing to act against Dogwarts in that moment. It’s irrational as hell but that’s where he’s at. Impulse was playing all sides and, in Bdubs’ mind, had just cost him the One Person Bdubs truly cared about

So again, OF COURSE he turned on Impulse!! He had zero reason to trust him!!

In LL things got oh so much more complicated. I don’t think Bdubs ever intended to be a part of a larger group, he only intended to be with Etho. So he was Mainly tolerating Tango and Skizz so long as 1) they helped the overall group and 2) Etho wanted to stay. Except Tango and Skizz were clumsy on missions and had issues communicating with him and Etho, who were very close and had an easier time planning and communicating. Etho’s lighthearted jabs at this turned sharper through Bdubs’ comments and actions. I think Bdubs was frustrated with being put in the same situation he was in last season- having to stay with an alliance he Did Not Want for the sake of his One Person, and his comments/actions reflect that

He was willing to see them die and use them for Lives for the overall group, but he wasn’t willing to let Etho go down- which is again seen in the Wither fight. It’s also seen in his final death, with him turning on his fellow Reds since he thought it meant he could make it back to Etho’s side

Then in DL, he doesn’t learn his lesson! He only doubles down, making it clear to Impulse where his loyalties lie. Bdubs Only Cares About Impulse, and they’re more than willing to watch the world burn as a unit. Bdubs wanting them to be home wreckers also serves as him putting his foot down- refusing to be a part of alliances he doesn’t like. I don’t think they had any allies this season aside from one another, which honestly worked perfectly for them in DL!! Bdubs was able to fulfill a role that came naturally to him and Impulse didn’t have to worry about the stress of maintaining a larger group

And it’s because they worked so well together that Bdubs can’t wrap his head around the idea that He Killed Impulse. Bdubs knows that he would never, EVER, do something like that to his One Person, so Impulse asking for an apology in LimL comes as a complete shock to him.

And I think it’s something that affects LimL for him as a whole, but also ties back to the setting. Again, it’s made clear that Nobody is surviving this, so it would be pointless for Bdubs to act in defense of his One Person. With him being unable to focus on this as his motivation, he’s forced to focus on a group, on the Clockers (HOWEVER he still has his devastating connection to Etho and that’s not going away anytime soon). This also forces him to confront the issues that caused previous teams to fail

And I’d argue Cleo’s in a very similar spot as him

Cleo’s loyalties had always been her day 1 crew, with her standing by them regardless of what happened. They belonged to the group and the group belonged to them as equals. If the ship was going down, then goddamnit Cleo would go down with it, which is especially seen in 3L with her attacking Ren. Cleo wanted to be done with this war and this entire conflict and thought that if they just struck now, if they just killed Ren, their issues would be over. Remember, the Crastle’s main conflict was regarding Dogwarts! Cleo didn’t know who to trust because Impulse was always acting all buddy-buddy with the red banners and Tango was off doing his own thing.

I think this is also why Cleo ran off to Scott as a backup alliance before then- Scott presents himself as being a safe person, someone who stays out of conflict but defends himself when needed. Cleo needed that backup alliance for reassurance, since it was clear that Bdubs was likely going to die before her. Not only that but the aforementioned trust issues with the rest of her party. (And yes! This is a contradiction of them “going down with the ship,” we call that a Character Flaw)

Except that plan falls through when Scott dies, by Ren’s hand no less, and Cleo’s right back in the scenario they’d been in before. They’re right back to wondering when the other shoe was going to drop

So them attacking Ren was a moment of frustration, wanting clarity and lashing out against the source of her problems; Ren

Except this act is what did Cleo in, and she never really got to see where any of them stood. Well, except for Bdubs but I already discussed him At Length

LL was again, an ENTIRE mess for Cleo. The whole gimmick in LL was there to make people distrust the people around them, and BOY HOWDY did Cleo distrust people! She was never fully sold on the Fairy Fort but thought that if they just stayed together, then they’d be able to defend each other- strength in numbers! Really, BigB was the only person that Cleo fully trusted, with them having their own separate base together and Cleo going to BigB when she didn’t trust the rest of the group.

Again, she values her day 1 ally above all else, and in this season that was BigB. They stood together as equals, even with Lizzie and Ren at their side.

Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when BigB turned on her, because she would never, EVER do the same to him. They were equals, it was them against the world and BigB had just gone against that bond. Cleo also refuses to emphasize with his perspective because of the fact that BigB had AMPLE opportunity to tell Cleo he was cursed, but he just Didn’t. She trusted him, she trusted the fort, and she would never make that same mistake twice

Cleo once again retreated to Scott. He and Pearl welcomed her with open arms and provided what stability they could for her, considering Cleo was flirting with death every other episode. They also helped Cleo get her revenge, making it abundantly clear that they stood With Her. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, both of them told her when they were the boogeyman. There were Zero secrets between the three of them and Cleo was never given a reason to question their loyalty. Communication is key!

And here’s where things flip. Cleo goes from supporting her day 1 crew above all else, to the understanding that a day 1 crew isn’t a guarantee. Said crew has only ever caused her problems, and Cleo only ever found stability with her second option

So when DL rolls around, Cleo’s left in a weird spot. Their day 1 ally is the one person who was ever stable for them, Scott, with her designated ally, Martyn, causing problems right off the bat. Except Martyn isn’t the only one that brings trouble for them, with Pearl being a near constant threat to her and Scott. Both her first option, And her backup are causing problems. So now it’s not a question of who’s loyal to her, but who she wants to align herself with.

And Cleo Doesn’t Know. She stays with Scott for the most part, but is also willing to hear Martyn out as he makes a fool of himself trying to get her back. But I think the main thing that draws Cleo back to Martyn is the fact that they’re linked- that if Martyn hurts her, he hurts himself. That’s a reassurance Cleo doesn’t get with Scott as an ally, and ultimately what drives their decision to turn against Scott in the finale

So in case you didn’t catch it- the similarity for Bdubs and Cleo is specific to their tie to their One Person/day 1 alliance. They’re willing to do Everything for this person/group but are consistently either harmed or causing harm through that connection. For Cleo it causes her to be paranoid but for Bdubs it makes him double down on that loyalty. They end up balancing each other out in LimL, but what about Scar?

For Scar, he ONLY has his day 1 ally and no one else. This was quickly established for him in 3L, with Grian being the only person to consistently stand by him. Scar didn’t see this as a part of their agreement, he saw this as a decision Grian made over and over again. This is even expressed in his speech at the end of 3L, with Scar offering his life to Grian in return for everything he’d done to keep Scar alive. They started out together, and they would ultimately die together. And, most importantly, Scar didn’t have anyone else to turn to. It was made abundantly clear that nobody else would take him in, both with Grian being the only person to attempt an alliance at the start and with Scar being put on his red name so early on. Scar ultimately decides that if people aren’t with him through fate, they will never stand by him, and he’s fine with it! At first

Scar goes into LL with the same expectation, that his team would stay together until the bitter end and everyone else is against him. Except Joel is extremely quick to go down to red, an alliance that Scar is never really able to salvage. This leaves Scar alone, and he accepts this as an immediate Fact. He doesn’t see the point in reaching out to anyone, opting instead for scams and empty threats, the same tactic that worked so well for him last time.

And that sort of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with him turning away potential allies through his actions. He thought he’d end up alone and created a scenario where he Was Alone. Really, this only serves to reinforce the idea that he will always end up on his own

Enter; DL

This season HEAVILY reinforced his previous mindset, but it also gave him a reason to fight against it. Scar didn’t Have a day 1 alliance, he was fully willing to base alone and to be without a soulmate. Except Grian comes along to drag him into an alliance

And this mirrors 3L to a T but it ALSO flips their dynamic. Grian wasn’t following Scar’s lead, Scar was following his. From his perspective, Scar was the one doing whatever he could to maintain them, and Grian was the one endangering himself. Again, this is opposed to 3L when Scar was endangering himself and Grian was doing everything he could to maintain them

Except Grian does nothing but sabotage their relationship. I think the flipped roles here kind of forces Scar to realize “oh, I’m not destined to be alone, I push people away.” But there’s also an added layer on top of that- Grian doesn’t respect him.

I’ve mentioned that little tidbit in other posts, but Scar really isn’t respected this season! 3L he was respected as a threat, LL he lost that respect through the travelling salesman bit, and DL puts him in a weird spot. He’s respected as a Loose Cannon but isn’t respected as his own person- as in people have a reason to be wary of him but don’t consider his opinions on plans and other things

So going into LimL, Scar’s fully expecting the same treatment and is more or less blindsided by how supportive the Clockers were. His day 1 crew stuck with him!! Not day 1 Ally, day 1 CREW. He finally had a group that stood with him

Somewhat unrelated but I think it’s also important to note that Scar doesn’t expect to survive in Any season. He’s operating under the assumption that death is imminent, wanting to live a life of fun and luxury in what time he still has. In other words, he’s staring with the worldview that’s taught in LimL!! It’s challenged repeatedly but keeps getting reinforced

But to recap; the three of them value their day 1 ally above all else, and are lost without said ally. Bdubs doesn’t know what to do with himself if he doesn’t have his One Person, Cleo becomes paranoid if their day 1 ally is distrustful, and Scar typically doesn’t form connections with Anyone if he doesn’t have a day 1 ally.

But on top of that, Bdubs and Scar are usually following in their teams. Bdubs is headstrong, but ultimately lives to support his One Person. Scar comes up with plans, but doesn’t necessarily want to be in a leadership position. Cleo, on the other hand, does very well in leadership positions because it gives her more control over what’s going on around her. Leading takes away the unpredictability that would come with following

Bdubs and Scar need direction and Cleo’s able to give that to them. While at the same time, Cleo’s learning to be more comfortable with unpredictability. They have! Two loose cannons! But Cleo knows they’re unpredictable and is better equipped to manage that “threat”

Really, together the three of them are able to confront how closed off they are, allowing themselves to trust one another. And this trust is tested!! Especially with Bdubs maintaining a connection with Etho, who’s on another team entirely. AND THAT IS!! SO IMPORTANT FOR BDUBS because he’s forced into a position where he has to realize the harm he’s caused

Looping back around to TIES, basically that entire team had previous issues with him!! They stay at odds with one another because Bdubs refuses to acknowledge he did anything wrong. No he never reconciled with them, but he did start to confront his own issues. He doesn’t single anyone out as a danger, he spends so much time proving he’s loyal to the Clockers that he never falls back on paranoia

Then in Scar’s case, he’s both allowed to be dangerous and respected as a part of the group. NOT ONLY THAT but other alliances respect him! He isn’t constantly running around trying to prove he’s worth people’s respect, it’s just automatically granted to him

I don’t have a neat way to close this off, but something something accepting danger and learning to trust regardless of that danger

Start Post | TIES | Bad Boys

#trafficblr #limited life #bdoubleo100 #zombiecleo #goodtimeswithscar #the clockers #this is very bdubs centric because I’m spinning him around in my brain currently

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tikkunolamresistance · 2 months

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Hey, sorry if this is an inappropriate thing to ask, it's just a point a lot of people bring up that confuses me; are ALL Jewish people non-white by default? Even white-passing European Jews? Is it okay to say they can experience white privilege if they're white-passing, like I've seen people say about some light skinned black/mixed race people? I guess that's a whole other discussion though. Sorry if I sound ignorant, it's just there are Jews of many different ethnicities right? so it always confuses me when this comes up. Don't feel like you have to answer if this question is inappropriate or anything though, absolutely feel free to ignore ❤️

Here’s the thing: whiteness is a social construct. To be deemed “white” in the modern sociopolitical context is to be deemed a fitting componentof the facist, supremacist race theory that enforces sepratism and division not only within geopolitical boundaries, but community dynamics. Whiteness is centralised by Capitalist politics; the suppression of individualism, cultural practices, identity and community.

Whiteness has erased the diversity of European cultures, to create a singular “white” identity. That there is just white peoples, and then everybody else. When we look at Europe, we see that Italy is not the same as Latvia, who is not Bulgaria and who is not Ireland. This forced assimilation of European identities— something Hitler and the Nazi party strived for, modelling this ethos from the assimilated culture of the European settler American state— has given room for othering, alienation and discrimination based on ethnic and cultural differences; to drive fearmongering of other cultures among the “untouchable” white population.

Jewish people are of every ethnic background, skin colour, nationality. We are a people, not a singularity. We are not to be fit into a box for others consumption, for others tolerance. There are white Jews, but Jews are not white in the centralised socially constructed concept.

Jewish people will be viewed white or non-White by those who see it as a necessary political tool, but you must know that the end goal in deconstruction Capitalism is to strip away these divisionary racial politics. Zionism need you to believe Jews are a singularity to enforce the “Israeli” settler identity, building itself groundworks inspired by the brutal and colonial founding of the United States, that forced cultural assimilation of varied European identities and has since constructed a faux American culture.

#org respones #zionism #whiteness #politics and race #politics #forced assimilation #cultural assimilation #analysis

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amethystfairy1 · 1 month

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Hybrid chocolate toxicity question(s).

The avians can’t have it, I’m assuming the dog hybrids (Ren and clan) and the cat hybrids (Lizzie) can’t either… how far does this extend? Can Etho eat chocolate? Can Doc? Can Joel?

Additionally, theobromine (the compound in chocolate that is toxic to most companion animals) is also present in tea, cola, and coffee. Do they have to avoid those as well?

Finally, how much does the human hybridization affect the tolerance for theobromine? Humans have about a million poison immunities (because we’re insane and we eat anything), which is the reason why caffeine and theobromine don’t kill us like most other animals. Let’s say a dog hybrid does eat a whole bar of baker’s chocolate. Is it cardiac arrhythmia, kidney failure, and seizures, eventually leading to death over the span of 36 hours? Are they feeling like hell for a week and then fine? Dogs have a slow mechanism for the removal of theobromine, requiring an unusually long hospitalization time for theobromine toxicity (compared to other poisonings). Are dog hybrids also down for the count for that long? Does the human hybridization make it less long?

I really hope you don’t mind the way my vet med brain just went off there, but I’m so curious as to how your world works.

I…

…I’m a humanities masters student…

Those were a lot of big sciencey words 😭

I just made the birds not eat chocolate because it was a bit I read in several other Avian/wing fics and I thought it was funny…and yeah I do intend to make it canon that Ren also can’t eat chocolate…but as for like what actually would happen to him if he did I was just gonna imagine it like a severe allergic reaction, like if Ren did eat chocolate he’d just be laid out like he had really bad food poisoning for a week but it wouldn’t, like, kill him or anything unless he ate a stupidly large amount.

😆 but hey, you tell me! You’re a vet med right? That’s so so so cool! Do you think the hybridization would help and do you think that the reactions would noticeably change?

I’m so glad you love my world of TTSBC I really really love to see people pop off and ask about the specifics of lore but I just genuinely don’t know how to answer your question so I’m basically telling you to answer your question 😆😆😆

Thanks for reading! 💖

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #through the sky blue cracks #worldbuilding

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orangeocelotmartyn · 1 year

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xB’s new Alter Ego, Not Nice xB

Beef: Not the full store, but-- Joe: Yeah, come get some alter ego packs and then play some two v two with us! the thing is, the alter ego packs have the new effect cards in them. Etho: Aw… xB: We gotta go see what the cheater gets Beef: Yeah Etho: Cheater…. xB: This washed up cheater… Etho: I am-- Beef: Ooh, man… Etho: Wow. I liked it better when you were nice, xb Beef:--the hits don't stop Joe: He was never nice, he was only patient! Etho: He's changed, he's changed Joe: That's actually sounds really good, I need to write that down. "I was never kind, I was only patient." xB: See, that could be my alter ego, "not nice xB." Etho: just tolerant b— Joe: Oh, oh, either that or "bX." Beef: B-bX xB: One of his moves could just be "Etho called him not nice" Joe: or it could be--or it's capital X, lowercase b, or something. I dunno, there's something there.

#Vintagebeef #ethoslab #xbcrafted #joe hills #hermitcraft #video

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animentality · 8 months

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I think gen z brainrot mostly stems from this idea that "tolerance" = "allowing the straight cis white girl to lead the discussion on whether or not queer is a slur."

Like when you're a black person trying to talk about homophobia in the black community, and the straight cis white girl says that's racist. Not all black people are homophobic.

And it's like...you tell her to stop talking because she doesn't know what she's talking about, and then she says that you're a misogynist who won't listen when women speak.

And it's like...back in my day...you used to have arguments based on logic. You appealed to ethos, whenever you could, and logos, as often as you could, and you only used pathos as a finishing argument.

Now it's all about pathos.

Like yeah, feelings matter and all...but they're not the only things that matter.

Wish you didn't have to pick between ruthless fascist who wants everyone to suffer and dreamy eyed useless hippie who thinks that doing acid is the same as being mentally ill for an hour.

People just throw buzz words at each other, and they don't actually mean anything.

You call yourself an anti racist and then are furious when someone who is, say, Latino, criticizes machismo in Latin culture and how misogynistic and homophobic it often is.

You think you're being tolerant and saying the right things, but you don't actually understand the depths of what your core goal should actually be.

You want a perfect neutral world where good things happen all the time, and you think tolerance is the door to it, but tolerance doesn't work when it's only used to insist that we are all alike...

We aren't. Tolerance is accepting that.

Tolerance is not insisting that we are exactly alike, like some borg collective.

And I think gen z more than any generation, except maybe gen alpha, just doesn't get it right and thinks that parroting the words is some kind of revolutionary act.

It isn't.

And your tolerance comes across as hostility, when you try so hard to force everyone into it.

#gen z #brainrot

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vivitheanimaxen · 5 months

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They were a pack, not a hoard.

You know, there's something almost poetic about the boogeyman infection from session 7.

To me it wasn't a hoard of zombies, it wasn't a mindless hivemind of drones, it wasn't even a posse- a mob of borderline reds.

It was a pack. A pack of rabid wolves, vicious and bloodthirsty and hungry.

The way each early addition to the pack was ready to turn around and bite their new alpha in Bdubs, Scar, Pearl, Etho; the way they ran like Pearl and Scar; they went looking for comfort with Impulse and Scar and Skizz; And again, in Scar's case especially-- they tried to go back to the survivors. But that didn't work, not once the survivors caught on to what was happening.

There's something in the way that each of them wanted to hurt the one who killed them, only to be called off by Gem and kept in line as they hunted for more.

The only thing keeping the pack together was Gem's seer force of will, at least until they grew so large and forgot about everything else except the need to kill, to hunt, to cannibalize their own.

There's something poetic about the cursed ignoring Martyn, the only one to start red, the only one to start the session as a 'dog.' There's something poetic in the survivors tolerating him at their fringes, like tossing food to a dog you find on the street, but not letting them too close, because they're still a stray dog-- something you can never fully trust.

From his perspective, he was so out of the loop and had no idea about any of the curse until the survivors told him.

It was interesting to see how the alliances broke down. And not just the alliances, but the people themselves:

How Gem ignored Scott-- until she went red. Gem used Scott, and then turned on him the moment it made sense. She was the ringleader, the alpha of the pack, patient zero.

How Impulse not only embraced the curse-- He begged to be infected. He volunteered. He was one of the more dogged (hah) of the crew, in it from the beginning and already half-mad with bloodlust already from his previous tasks. Taking hearts from Skizz, the fake-boogey task, the games of chicken, being unable to kill ANYTHING for an entire session, etc. He still ignored Scott, though. even letting him get away when they were alone. And he was the most threatening, always coming in from a direction no one expected.

How Bdubs didn't want to kill Pearl or Joel-- He didn't have to, Pearl died to Gem and Joel to Etho and Scar and Gem. He was so hesitant to kill Impulse, asking him again and again if he really wanted this. Bdubs was also the first to find Etho, the first to welcome him to the pack.

But Etho still remained loyal to Cleo and Grian, not attacking them, not killing them, not ratting them out, nothing. He even jumped in front of an arrow meant for Cleo. He brought up a warden with Pearl, but that's just chaos, and you can hear a warden from miles away. And with all his experience in Decked Out-- well. Wardens aren't that scary. Not for him, not for a lot of the more Hardcore Decked Out players-- Gem, Grian, Tango, Pearl, Impulse, and even Bdubs and Cleo and Scar, to an extent.

Cleo going out on her own terms, instead of letting herself be killed. Her checking in on Scott, on letting Bigb hide with them, even when Bigb ratted them out (getting himself killed). She was running and hiding for so much of the last half of the session. Her sharing her dogs, making sure everyone else got some, fighting back when cornered and hitting like a TRUCK. Letting Joel leave after he respawned on the shrine for his last time.

Grian hiding on top of the tower-- Watching. No one thought to look up. Being the first to figure out the curse, being helpless to stop it, causing Etho's death-- and then denying it.

Pearl going 5am feral, not targeting Cleo until Cleo killed her dogs, pulling out a warden with Etho-- and then another on her own. Hiding her first dogs, making sure they stayed safe. Not helping to kill Joel, but happily scooping up the zombie flesh and the xp left behind.

Joel not wanting to hide, thinking that he'd be fine-- until he wasnt. Wanting to go out with a bang and flooding the server with zombies-- but once he was got he didn't hesitate to throw his lot in with the pack.

Scar. There's a lot to say about Scar. Forced to push everyone away from multiple tasks, going feral on his own without an alliance to hold him steady, holding his own with his bow and killing not one, not two but THREE people. Trying to go back to the survivors, burning Gem's book, running away and turning to shoot the pack that was trying to collect him. Getting sent into the nether first, almost getting that hit on Cleo that would have turned her bloodthirsty and rabid just like the rest of them-- Everyone disregarded him. He has the biggest target on his back, the pack only tolerated him because he was one of them. Almost like Martyn with the survivors.

Scott, oh poor Scott. The first to die that day and one of the only two to complete his task. He was used, kept sheltered by Impulse and Gem, abandoned in the grove. He was hiding alone in the dark while Cleo drowned and Bigb was burnt to death. He had no idea.

Speaking of Bigb. While it wasn't his yell that allowed them to be found-- it was one of the main factors. He's so confusing to everyone, going mad down in his backrooms alone and not quite counting himself a part of the heart foundation. Screaming "BANISHED" at everyone who even looks at him wrong. The sheer irony of Tango's death: The end glitch, his wolf, the fire-- everything.

And the rest of the heart foundation, Skizz attacking Joel and Scar, even when they were running away-- it cost him his life. Immediately turning around and attacking, screaming to Tango and Bigb in a familiar refrain-- ("There's a way we can still be friends-- You could join me." turned into) "COME TO THIS SIDE-- I want you back, buddy."

Tango, back from his amnesiacold --amnesiafood-poisoning as it were-- confused and getting teased and trying to fulfill everyone's wishes 'wrong'. Being killed by Bigb's wolf, getting confused as being 'one of them'. Getting thrown into the deep end at having to pull a warden out of his lake and point it elsewhere-- A victim of tragedy and circumstance. Not to mention the heart getting burnt down. Maybe the canary's bad luck is rubbing off-- just not onto the person we thought it was. After all-- He and Jimmy have always been together in being doomed by the narrative.

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haggishlyhagging · 3 months

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Pain is an essential part of the grooming process, and that is not accidental. Plucking the eyebrows, shaving under the arms, wearing a girdle, learning to walk in high-heeled shoes, having one's nose fixed, straightening or curling one's hair—these things hurt. The pain, of course, teaches an important lesson: no price is too great, no process too repulsive, no operation too painful for the woman who would be beautiful. The tolerance of pain and the romanticization of that tolerance begins here, in preadolescence, in socialization, and serves to prepare women for lives of childbearing, self-abnegation, and husband-pleasing. The adolescent experience of the "pain of being a woman" casts the feminine psyche into a masochistic mold and forces the adolescent to conform to a self-image which bases itself on mutilation of the body, pain happily suffered, and restricted physical mobility. It creates the masochistic personalities generally found in adult women: subservient, materialistic (since all value is placed on the body and its ornamentation), intellectually restricted, creatively impoverished. It forces women to be a sex of lesser accomplishment, weaker, as underdeveloped as any backward nation. Indeed, the effects of that prescribed relationship between women and their bodies are so extreme, so deep, so extensive, that scarcely any area of human possibility is left untouched by it.

Men, of course, like a woman who "takes care of herself." The male response to the woman who is made-up and bound is a learned fetish, societal in its dimensions. One need only refer to the male idealization of the bound foot and say that the same dynamic is operating here. Romance based on role differentiation, superiority based on a culturally determined and rigidly enforced inferiority, shame and guilt and fear of women and sex itself: all necessitate the perpetuation of these oppressive grooming imperatives.

The meaning of this analysis of the romantic ethos surely is clear. A first step in the process of liberation (women from their oppression, men from the unfreedom of their fetishism) is the radical redefining of the relationship between women and their bodies. The body must be freed, liberated, quite literally: from paint and girdles and all varieties of crap. Women must stop mutilating their bodies and start living in them. Perhaps the notion of beauty which will then organically emerge will be truly democratic and demonstrate a respect for human life in its infinite, and most honorable, variety.

-Andrea Dworkin, Woman Hating

#andrea dworkin #female oppression #performative femininity #beauty rituals #male dominance #female submission #women’s liberation #female pain

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gallyg · 6 months

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One small thing about Saw X is that Amanda and Hoffman talk pretty openly about the traps being, you know, unfortunate things to be in. Amanda tells Gabriela that she "helped her" by delaying her test. She even argues this point directly to John by pleading that maybe Gabriela doesn't "deserve" to be tested because she simply got caught up in some bad stuff in the midst of addiction (when in fact this simply means that this test will help her quit using drugs, according to the Jigsaw ethos). Hoffman's only real scene has him telling someone that crossing John Kramer is "epic bad luck" with the obvious implication being that if he had crossed someone else, he wouldn't have to be in a Jigsaw trap.

And this is all interesting because the most common sentiment John Kramer imparts on his victims is, "You're welcome." So it's interesting to see him tolerate his apprentices treating the tests as something negative, especially since he's always pushed back on this notion in previous films. Hoffman accuses John of wanting Tim to suffer in Saw VI's flashback to Saw III, and John looks at Hoffman disapprovingly, rhetorically asking if Hoffman likes how brutality feels.

But then thinking about it a bit more, nobody inspired by John Kramer has operated under the delusion that their traps were anything but punishment. Amanda famously made her games unwinnable on purpose, but then we also have William's games having a 100% fatality rate because they're really just meant to scare the police straight rather than provide any service to the people actually in the traps. And, of course, Logan is just Dexter Morgan with a more elaborate MO.

If John had worked with William and Logan in the modern day, though, he would definitely put them both into modestly difficult tests. Something easily survivable like Hoffman's shotgun tripwire "trap" but still potentially loseable so John can convince himself that this was a real test that they passed. After all, that's what he did with Hoffman, who he already wanted to team up with.

I think this is why I love Amanda and John's relationship so much. John never expected to have someone like Amanda in his life, someone who actually just played his game and won and was grateful and told him what he wanted to hear of her own volition. That is to say, Amanda would tell John his work saved her life. Amanda was so close to losing her life, closer than Hoffman or Logan ever were; now she truly appreciates her life. Is that true? We've all seen Saw III. You tell me. But it's what Amanda needs to be true, so she'll say it to the man who also needs it to be true. Now, Amanda has a father to replace her biological father, who was so abusive. And John has a child to replace Gideon, who was the casualty that sparked all of this.

Anyway I liked Saw X.

#saw x #amanda young #john kramer #jigsaw #mark hoffman #my posts

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bellshazes · 5 months

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like it is a little crazy that for three entire whole seasons now etho has tolerated and done absolutely jack all to take advantage of or shut down bdubs' extremely pointed and exaggerated loyalty and dedication. he comments on it, but in both ltd life AND double life etho does the whole song and dance of could have been us, such a shame we can't team. in ltd/secret life they swap who is partnered with cleo (and someone else) & who is in a perilous orbit. frankly he is running out of excuses for not doing the thing he has said he wishes would happen. I am beginning to suspect this can only be a sort of fucked up reverse gay chicken where one of them is gonna have to betray for real but neither have budged yet. deeply weird dude do what you want forever. he's there he's willing but you won't even man up and break his damn heart? please

#peter posts

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epicfranb · 9 months

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Fuck it I'm not even rereading this. Here you go

Doc hired Etho, a skilled (probably) assassin to kill two of his most hated hermits: Keralis and Bdubs. And, after a long and fierce battle with Keralis that no one ended up winning, Etho wiped the layer of sweat from his forehead and said "Next one's gonna have to wait."

Does he even need to fight Keralis again? Hopefully, the fact that the fight took place is enough. After all, Doc's main goal is to scare them, isn't it? Etho and Doc go way back, so the guess probably has some truth to it.

Fixing up the gear after a long fight like this is a pain though. His sword needs sharping, the bow probably needs replacing, and his armor is... Well, everything could be in a better shape had Etho thought of a plan beyond "spam crossbows, then do whatever". His anvil aim could use some training, and his crossbow machine gun design could be improved. But it's better off in the hands of a more skilled player anyway.

Etho thinks he is quite a skilled player. But not in terms of fighting, no-no. Someone else could take the lead, someone more experienced – Etho's happy enough devising a plan and preparing the gear. Fighting isn't his forte.

Assassinating Bdubs is gonna need a better plan than this. If he succeeds in at least one of the hits, Doc will be happy enough (to pay him). But, unlike Keralis, Bdubs is... Too easy to kill. Pathetically so. It's just going to be boring. He needs a better plan than this.

Fixing armor was a job so usual and monotone to Etho, that it was easy to space out and lose himself in thoughts, and then wake up to a set of fully repaired gear. Normally, he would get some music on, but he kind of forgot about it before he spaced out, thinking about...

Yes, him again. Bdubs.

That man had an annoying habit of occupying all of the space within Etho's head. And, Bdubs himself doesn't do it directly, but Etho blames him anyway, because he knows it'd make him mad.

Bdubs has a funny voice. Every time he speaks, he voices his thoughts in such a strange manner, using some of the strangest vocabulary, interspersed with his "patented" "Bdubs noises". His speech patterns make no sense, the words never quite come out right, he's loud, he's boisterous, he's hilarious, and he's very, very talkative. Man has so many ideas and thoughts running through his head at all times, and he needs to get ALL of them out, to the point where he's been talking for hours, jumping from topic to topic, from idea to idea, and if he isn't stopped, he gets his throat killed. And a lot of the times, his throat does get killed after talking to Etho, because the other spaces out or falls asleep, as if Bdubs's voice is a lullaby to him.

Even now, one swing forth, one swing back, Etho's hands move on their own, the only sound in his head is a replay of Bdubs's voice, saying gibberish. It's like a catchy song that's been stuck in your head, you may not remember the lyrics, but you're enjoying the general sound of it. And Etho enjoyed his imaginary Bdubs singing to him. He has such a beautiful voice.

Helmet done, now onto the wings.

Honestly, it's appalling how different Etho and Bdubs are, even in the small things. Like, taste in food as an example. Etho's first impression of Bdubs was that he's the same sweet tooth that he is; turns out, it's quite the opposite. Bdubs doesn't put any sugar in his morning drinks, and he's a fan of green tea, which Etho only tolerates. He also likes bitter chocolate, and Etho thought those kinds of people only exist in myths... Oh, and he likes raisins. What a weird guy.

Their sleep schedules are so different, that at the rare occasions they've lived together, they barely ever saw each other. Bdubs goes to sleep early, and, despite taking his sweet time getting out of bed, he gets up early, too. A real morning bird with a solid schedule, in contrast to Etho, who stays up all night, working when no one and nothing is around to bother him – and gets up whenever. Sometimes he woke up first, and took his chance to prank Bdubs; other times he wasn't so lucky, and got pranked back. It was a fun back-and-forth while it lasted, but now Etho has the advantage of knowing Bdubs's exact sleep schedule, which Bdubs can't brag about – Etho's schedule is too chaotic. Those games are always fun.

With all the holes in the wings patched up, leggings are next.

Etho recalled his surprise when Bdubs came to him, all those years ago, and with eyes beaming of excitement, exclaimed: "Teach me how to fight!" Etho was never more than decent at fighting, but Bdubs seemed to be so caught up in his idealized version of Etho, that he thought it'd be better to ask him, and not someone who had actual skill. At least, that's what Etho thought at the time.

It was never about the fighting, no. It was never about swords, nor was it about bows or armor – it was about admiration. Bdubs admired Etho, and wanted to be closer to him. No, not in his skill – although, Bdubs admitted, that too – it was just about spending time together. The warmth of the other's skin on his hands, guiding him, on his torso, teaching him, his voice so close like it's reverberating in his heart, and his breath tickling his neck from behind... At least that's what Etho imagined Bdubs felt. Back then, he couldn't put his finger on why Bdubs shivered and blushed so often during their trainings, but, thinking about it now, it made some sense.

Swords clashing against one another, bodies in perfect sync, moving one after the other, shifting their feet in the same rhythm they got adjusted to – it was more like a dance than it was fencing. Sometimes, all of the competitiveness between the two would fade, and they were moments away from throwing their swords on the ground and taking each other's hands, wrap their arms around the other, to guide him somewhere else, in the same dance, same rhythm, but with much different implications. They regretted only a little bit that they never ended up getting into dance.

It was a nice memory, but Etho was somewhat bothered by his cheeks getting hotter. His entire body got hotter, in fact. Sweat dripped from his forehead, and his hands shook slightly.

It seems that it's time for a rest, Etho thought. He still had his boots to repair, but they could wait. He'll be gone only a little while.

For now, maybe he can think about a plan to kill Bdubs... Kill Bdubs, huh. Normally that'd sound quite tempting, but he wasn't really in the mood for any killing now. Getting soft, Etho chuckled to himself. But being soft felt kind of nice once in a while.

If I don't want to kill him, Etho thought as he got into the kitchen – if you could call it that, – maybe I'll find a way to make him die, and me not have to see it. That meant a trap, and, thankfully, Etho had an extensive catalogue of traps permanently in his head. Some of them more obvious, others – devilishly hidden, and whichever one he chose depended on what would get a funnier reaction. In chat, at least. Or in a later conversation.

But nothing really felt right. Etho cracked an egg – fill his base with chickens? no, that won't kill him. Entity cramming maybe? Etho whisked some dough – drowning is a good idea. But it's long, he can get out. And it's painful. Since when was Etho hesitant about a trap being painful? Etho put the cake in the oven –– Wait, cake?

Etho crouched in front of the oven, taking a curious look inside – sure enough, that is a cake. When did he make a cake? Why did he make a cake?

Etho has a pretty strong grasp on his own mind, but even that becomes a mystery when Bdubs is involved.

If the cake was meant to be a trap, it was a bad one. He didn't even put any poison in it! The frosting is now finished too, and that doesn't have any poison either... Unless Etho adds it. Which he doesn't. Whether he forgot, or just didn't want to, he didn't really know. Looking for the right poison, or making it from scratch, was a hassle, and Etho was too lazy to deal with that.

Besides, his mouth watered at his own cake. It was his sugary masterpiece, and he was itching to take a nice big bite off of it... But he held back. This cake is for Bdubs. Once he figures out how to make it into a trap.

Will Bdubs even want to eat such a sweet cake? Etho's mind wandered somewhere else while baking it, so he had no idea how much sugar he actually put into it. Knowing himself and his taste buds, it was probably... Way too much for Bdubs to handle. Maybe the excess sugar can kill him. Yeah, that'll do.

Etho rummaged around his storage system to find a nice big box and some wrapping paper with heart patterns to wrap the cake into. Maybe the heart patterns were excessive – Etho swore he had other types of patterns somewhere – but he couldn't find anything else, and wasn't bothered to. The cake neatly packaged, Etho grabbed his freshly restocked redstone box and flew off in the direction of Bdubs's base.

Etho usually thinks. He thinks about what he's gonna do next, even when he does something on a whim, he thinks first. How am I gonna do it? What are the steps? What am I going to need? His mind was in a haze as he flew, as if locked out of his own head, only able to peek through the bars, and the only thing left of his brain was an enormous screen with just images of Bdubs on it. This was getting ridiculous, but he couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. The thoughts felt nice.

Bdubs wasn't online, thankfully, so setting up a trap didn't require any stealth ninja moves. Etho didn't even try to hide that it was a trap: the gift box was sitting right on top of an observer, ready to trigger it. There was nothing under it but a dispenser – what was in it? a damage potion? lava? exactly 24 boats to entity cram him (forget that you can't fit 24 boats in one dispenser)? Well, Bdubs is going to have to find out himself. The joy of discovery, and all. Etho's heart raced, despite knowing Bdubs isn't here to catch him in the act; he felt hot all over, despite Bdubs's biome being cooler than his; and his cheeks hurt from smiling, even though nothing happened yet. There was no rational reason for any of those body reactions to occur; and yet, they did. A human's body is hardly ever rational, but Etho found comfort in knowing what causes which reactions, and he was clueless about his current state. He guessed that he was just really looking forward to the prank working... I mean, what prank? It's a death trap! Totally!...

***

Etho had completely forgotten about the trap, when his communicator buzzed in his pocket. All of the gear repaired, and all the hitman matters taken care of, he has managed to distract himself from thinking about his... Friend, and get to work. However, the friend demanded attention, and who was Etho to decline him that attention? In his mind, a picture of an excited dog replaced Bdubs for a second, prompting a sudden outburst of laughter from Etho, which, he was pretty sure, could be heard even from Xisuma's base.

Etho took the familiar route through the Nether to Bdubs's base. He circled above it for a second, looking for the town's proud owner – he spotted him right next to his starter house (made of diorite, of course), and landed right behind him, scaring him to death.

"What are ya doin' sneakin' up behind me like that, huh?!" He fumed, stamping his feet all over the place. "What are you, role-playin' a ninja?!"

"Some people do call me a little bit of a ninja." Etho shrugged, prompting a scowl from Bdubs. "Anyway, whatcha got there? A cake?"

Behind him, the cake was sitting on the observer like on a table, unwrapped, with a small piece cut out of it. Bdubs probably checked it for poison; or maybe he couldn't eat the rest because it was too sweet. Either way, same thing, really.

"Aww, dontcha pretend like you don't know what it is!" Bdubs sang proudly like he just solved the world's hardest riddle; Etho couldn't help but smile, giving himself away. "Yeah, I knew it! It's yours! I know how you bake your cakes, you won't fool me!"

"Did I poison you with sweetness?" Etho asked through laughter.

"I'd rather not say what I did with the piece that I put in my mouth." Bdubs nodded behind him, in the direction of the river. Ah, so it was that sweet.

"Awwww, you spat out my cake? That I baked for you, with such love and care?"

"Yes, but I don't want to do it with the rest, so you're here to get rid of it." Bdubs walked up to the cake and shifted it around, sending a short pulse down. The dispenser didn't fire, meaning Bdubs saw the message.

"You mean you aren't going to eat it." Etho sobbed, hugging his arms. "Welp, more left for me!" He smiled.

"Great! Cuz I physically can't eat it!" Bdubs laughed.

He brought Etho a chair, a plate and a spoon, some tea (three spoons of sugar, as usual) and even a tablecloth to turn the observer into a real table (that ticks sometimes). Etho dug in immediately – he'd completely forgotten he hasn't eaten anything since that battle with Keralis. And oh was the cake sweet. Too sweet even for Etho, but he enjoyed it. Bdubs watched him enjoy the dessert, sipping his own tea, with a wide smile on his face.

"Didn't know you enjoyed watching people eat." Etho commented.

"Nope, just you."

"That's weird."

"You're weird, consuming that amount of sugar and not dying." Bdubs chuckled, but kept smiling. He was rather calm – calmer than Etho expected right after a prank.

The warm smile would get imprinted in his mind forever, Etho felt. There was just too much fondness, too much affection in it, that his skin started burning again.

Bdubs took the cherry from the top of the cake, closed one eye and put a cherry in front of the other: "You're as red as this cherry right now." He didn't even let Etho react, before putting the berry into his mouth. Etho tried not to think about the implications of that. "Come on now, what happened? What are you getting flustered for?" He teased.

Etho looked away – tried to, Bdubs followed his gaze – and put on his mask, even though he still had cake left on his plate. That didn't help hiding his rosy cheeks, and now ears too. Etho gave up trying to guess why his body was doing it at that point. He just didn't want Bdubs seeing him like this.

"Ay, you didn't finish your slice!" Bdubs laughed. "Sorry I took your cherry, but it the only edible thing on it."

"It's fine, I'm just gonna take the rest home," Etho said, attempting to appear collected, but regretted it immediately: his voice cracked in the most pathetic way possible.

Bdubs burst out, leaning on the observer for support, sending a few ticks again. The corners of his eyes teared up, but at least his face was now all red too, so Etho wasn't the only one. It was hardly comforting.

"Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't laugh! I shouldn't...!" He wheezed. Etho was ready to just take the cake and fly away in embarrassment, but the cake needed to be put in a box first – doing it now would only make the situation more awkward. Etho believed he could endure it. "Sorry–" Bdubs kept apologizing, "Know what? Next time, c'mere, and let's bake an actually edible cake together. Sound good?"

Etho sat still for a second, eyes wandering in the forest afar. They could bake a cake together, a cake that both of them could enjoy.

"That... Sounds good." Etho uttered from under his breath. It did sound good. Sweet, even.

"Then it's a deal!" Bdubs clapped his hands together. They arranged a time, he helped Etho pack the cake back up, and then it was time to say goodbyes.

Just as Etho was about to take off, Bdubs pulled his sleeve – and then pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around his torso in a sudden embrace. Etho instinctively put his arms on Bdubs's back, resting his head on his messy hair that tickled his nose. Etho could stay like this forever – or if not forever, then for a long time. But Bdubs let him go, and then they needed to go. Etho hastily took out his rockets and boosted off into the sky, to not let Bdubs see his face again.

Bdubs yelled after him:

"You have a good day as well!..."

Etho felt warm.

#I'm probably being too critical of myself again but i see so many things wrong with this. I'm sorry #ethubs #hermitshipping #my fic #hermitfic

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