#and argon and elenwes deaths on the helcaraxe
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@general-illyrin @tar-thelien @who-needs-words I think you all mentioned being interested in the reverse gondolin au - is anyone interested in helping with wrangling the timelines, especially the second age stuff? Here's the current outline:
(Edit: anyone feel free to help out if you're interested!)
YT 14365 - Birth of Lomion
YT 14373/FA 1 - Death of Argon
FA
2 - Aredhel adopts Lomion
300 - Birth of Idril
316 - Turgon & Idril kidnapped by Eol
400 - Turgon & Idril rescued. Death of Eol
465 - Finrod more-peacefully passes throne to orodreth while on Quest. Everyone except beren still dies
472 - Nirnaeth. Turgon named High King of the Noldor.
476 - Turgon abdicates official title. Aredhel named High King of the Noldor.
496 - Tuor comes to Gondolin
502 - Wedding of Idril and Tuor
503 - Births of Earendil and Elwing. Idril begins to have foresight dreams about the Fall.
506 - Second Kinslaying. C^3 dead, celebrimbor stays in gondolin. Aredhel denounces the oath/kinslaying and disowns C^3
Elwing survives & is found by Oropher & Thranduil // Galadriel & Celeborn. oropher, thranduil, oropher's wife, and thranduil's then-gf // galadriel & celeborn take Elwing to Gondolin as refugees. The Silmaril is left hidden in the woods of melian's domain.
507 - Elwing comes to Gondolin.
509 - Idril captured by Morgoth. Idril reveals the location of Gondolin in exchange for an Oath to not harm her family (Turgon, Tuor, and Earendil). Idril rescued.
510 - Gondolin prepares for war with Morgoth.
513-522 - Siege of Gondolin. Deaths of Duilin and Rog. Gothmog slain by Aredhel the Huntress. First use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor in defense of Gondolin. House of the Hammer of Wrath destroyed.
523 - Maedhros believes a Silmaril is with Elwing at Gondolin.
525 - Earendil weds Elwing. Lomion weds ???. Adoption of Gil-Galad
532 - Births of Elrond and Elros.
538 - Third Kinslaying at Gondolin. Death of Amras. Elrond and Elros kidnapped by Maglor. Deaths of Elwing and Turgon. Second use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor. Deaths of Maedhros and Aredhel. Lomion named King of Gondolin and High King of the Noldor. Deaths of Salgant, Penlod, and Tuor. Earendil named Lord of the House of the Wing.
540-549 - War declared between Gondolin and the Feanorians of Himring over the Third Kinslaying and kidnapping of Princes Elrond and Elros.
549 - Elrond and Elros recovered. Feanorians and Gondolin severely weakened. Celebrimbor // Gil-Galad declared heir to the High Kingship.
552-554 - Second Siege & Fall of Gondolin. Third use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor. Deaths of Ecthelion, Glorfindel, Egalmoth, and Turgon. Idril and Celebrimbor lead survivors through the Secret Way.
555 - Gondolithlim refugees arrive at Sirion.
556 - Idril departs for Valinor.
558 - Earendil searches for Valinor.
560 - Havens of Sirion destroyed by Morgoth. Gondolithlim/Doriathrim survivors scattered. Elrond and Elros rescued (as adults) by Maglor.
572 - Morgoth controls Beleriand. Earendil and reembodied Elwing come to Valinor and rally the Host.
575-617 - War of Wrath
618 - Maglor claims the Silmaril from Eonwe's camp and casts himself into the Sea. Death of Maglor.
620 - End of the First Age.
SA
1 - Founding of the Grey Havens and Lindon under High King Lomion
2 - Elros becomes the first King of Numenor
c. 500 - Sauron returns to Middle-Earth in the East.
650 - Eregion is founded
1000 - Galadriel is given Vilya; Lomion wields Nenya
1170 - Annatar comes to Lindon and Lomion turns him away. Lomion warns Celebrimbor of Eregion of his suspicions.
1200 - Annatar comes to Eregion. Celebrimbor takes him in to monitor.
1250 - Celebrimbor creates the Seven; Lomion creates the Nine.
1410 - Annatar is kicked out of Eregion.
1600 - The One Ring is forged. Sauron remains in hiding.
1610 - Sauron begins to gather and prepare armies in the East.
1673 - War of the Elves and Sauron begins.
1675 - Sauron invades Eriador.
1677 - Fall of Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor and Lomion remain at the House of the Mirdain. Death of Celebrimbor in battle // Fourth use of the Three in battle. Sauron does not learn of the Seven. Founding of Imladris.
1678 - Sauron defeated by the Numenoreans and the Elves of Lindon.
1679 - Sauron flees to Mordor. First White Council held.
3147 - Civil war in Numenor.
3225 - Ar-Pharazon seizes the Sceptre.
3228 - Elrond claims the Sceptre. Ar-Pharazon disowned. Tar-Miriel named Ruling Queen.
3232 - Sauron taken to Numenor as a prisoner.
3274 - Elrond kicks Sauron out of Numenor and outlaws the morgoth cult.
3310 - Morgoth cult publicly reappears.
3319 - Downfall of Numenor. Tar-Miriel leads a greater force of the Faithful away.
(green // blue means two main options, red means i need to think about it more)
The main details I'm figuring out right now are
does Celebrimbor still die at Eregion - I don't think he's getting captured/tortured, but he could still die in the battle. On the other hand, he could probably survive by using Narya & Lomion using Nenya, but that would definitely have repercussions further down the line
how does Idril's deal work - I'm currently thinking of Idril exchanging the location of Gondolin for her family's guaranteed safety, because it seems in character for Reverse Idril? But on the other hand, even if I limit it to immediate family at the time of the oath (tuor, turgon, earendil) then idk where turgon dies? Maybe Maglor can kill him but that seems kind of random
where and how does Turgon die
how does Prince Elrond's character even work
how does Numenor still fall when factoring in Prince Elrond - I'm thinking that the morgoth death cult gained enough traction during the time sauron was there that even after Elrond kicks him out, the cult still sticks around and reemerges later? The Fall still happens, but they never go to attack valinor and there's a good deal more Faithful (maybe 40-60%?)
#silm#silmarillion#not art#reverse gondolin au#basically elrond is giving me a Lot of trouble here#i tacked an extra 30 years onto the FA (so the SA dates are mostly shifted up by 30 years to balance it out; hence elros being king in SA 2#this means e&e were adults during the Fall of Gondolin and the war of wrath and all#so instead of 'kind as summer' elrond of the last homely house in rivendell#we have gondolithrim veteran/dragonslayer Prince Elrond of Imladris Stronghold#and later the Bastion of the Faithful of Numenor#ironically enough he turned out way more feanorian when not raised by feanorians#instead of sirion e&e's defining Childhood Trauma was the gondolin kinslaying#in which mae and aredhel duel to the death while screaming at each other about fingon's fate and the Oath#and argon and elenwes deaths on the helcaraxe#also elwing fully died trying to protect them in this one#and then e&e were like 20something and sons/grandsons of two Lords durign the FoG so obviously they ended up fighting there too#and then again at the war of wrath#and by the mid SA elrond has already lived through so many wars he's running rather low on hope#so Prince Elrond still tries to be kind but is also substantially more willing to threaten people if need be#after eregion he founds imladris as a haven but also an impenetrable fortress#he saw the fall of gondolin and he knows that rivendell couldn't last forever#but he believes he can make it last long enough to defeat sauron first#or at least push him back so that the refugees of eregion can rebuild and survive#meanwhile celebrimbor takes up the last homely house role#but yeah Prince Elrond is pretty interesting#he intervenes more with numenor bc hes watching them self destruct and knows (bc foresight) exactly what would happen#so he tries (eventually in vain) to prevent it by disowning and exiling ar pharazon#and later exiling sauron around the time of the burning of nimloth#but it's too late and the morgoth cult already gained enough traction#on the other hand there's a lot more Faithful led by tar-miriel
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Speeeaking of Fingolfin, this would be way too long for the ask game, but a headcanon I have that is very dear to me is that among elves in general and definitely among the Noldor, there's no taboo about crying in public. But Fingolfin specifically has ten thousand hangups that make him want to be in control of all his emotions at all times. Which he manages to do! Extremely well! He keeps his cool even about his brother chasing him with a sword!! It's also why he is usually a pretty good king!
Unfortunately for him, when Finwe dies, this same instinct to remain calm kicks in, especially because he's afraid of what Feanor might do with his own emotions so heightened, and long story short, even though he wants to, and is expected to, Fingolfin doesn't cry even though he very much is grieving his father. He simply can't make himself cry.
He doesn't cry at any time during the Helcaraxe either, even though, again, people are expecting him to (some maaay be accusing him of being unfeeling), and he certainly is upset at all times.
Then, long story short, Argon dies, and that pushes Fingolfin enough that he starts crying, and then he has like ten different traumatic events he's processing at once, including Finwe's death (and Elenwe's!), and he's just completely ruled by emotion and nothing anyone does seems to get through him. Think.... the same intensity of emotion as he displays after the Bragollach, but it's grief rather than rage
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MAJOR Cannibalism TW
The journey across the Helcaraxe took far longer than the elves expected it to. They had nowhere near enough food, and even the elves need to eat. So they did what they had to do.
Fingolfin did what he had to do because he was stubborn.
Fingon does what he must because he has to survive long enough to see Maedhros again.
Turgon does what he must because he will not let his daughter be orphaned.
Galadriel does what she must because she still needs to punch Feanor in the face.
Argon and Elenwe did not live long enough to need another food source.
Glorfindel, half frozen to death himself from repeatedly diving into the frigid waters to rescue others, didn't even have the capacity to choose whether or not to take the actions he took until they had already begun, and once you start, you don't stop until there's a better option.
When it is finished, they will never speak of it again.
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Feanor's army is left without food a great many times.
Before the sun's first rise and set, the Feanorians have created a way to determine who lives and dies in times of starvation, and they too refuse to speak of what happened to their dead.
They refuse because Maedhros, for all his protest of killing other elves, was the first to slit the throat of the elf chosen to die.
They refuse because not even Maglor can bring himself to sing of this, and Maglor could sing of his own family dying.
They refuse because Caranthir, for all his brutality and cruelty, believes that they are wrong.
But most importantly, they refuse because the first elf they ate was Amrod.
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The second most important time the Feanorian army is left starving is in F.A 548. This is the event with the most guilt around it.
Survivor's guilt from Elrond, because for all intents and purposes, the stolen twins should have been the first to die.
Inequality guilt from Elros and Erestor, because they knew that they weren't going to be harmed and they did not step in to suggest something better.
Existential guilt from Maglor, because he cannot bring himself to think that this is their fault.
And the overwhelming, self-loathing guilt of Maedhros, because at the end of the long, bloody day, he knows he should have done something to stop this. To make sure two sixteen year old half-elves didn't have to choose between starving and sinning. To make sure his brother didn't have to make that decision for them. He should have done anything.
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By the late Third Age, the few elves who know all of what happened are together in a city. Odd behaviors surround them like shrouds, concealing a much darker past. The people of Imladris have learned not to try to pull back these shrouds.
They don't ask questions when the mere sight of a red drink forces Erestor to hide in his chambers and cry.
They don't ask questions when the mere sight of meat has a good chance of making sure Glorfindel won't be able to keep anything down for days.
They don't ask questions when a particular word or phrase has Elrond refusing any food altogether for days.
They don't question, because they don't want the answer. They don't want to know what can break a man like Erestor, who acts like a glacier made of intelligence. They don't want to know what makes a Balrog slayer feel sick. They don't want to know what manages to drive a perfect person like their lord to the brink of complete collapse.
#tw cannibalism#cannibal tw#cannibalism#the silmarillion#silmarillion#feanorians#helcaraxe#the grinding ice#elves#tolkien elves#TW Starvation#TW Vomit#tw emeto ment#This is some dark shit#TW ED#Glorfindel#Erestor#Elrond#Elrond Peredhel#Erestor is the son of some Feanorian loyalist who just kinda got picked up by Caranthir#Glorfindel is self explanatory#As is Elrond
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I can't stop thinking about how the moment that Fingon asks for mercy to give Maedhros a painless death, Manwe immediately sends not just any eagle, but the king of eagles Thorondor.
Despite that his own brother Melkor had just betrayed him only a few years prior, he doesn't hesitate in the slightest to grant mercy to Fingon when he asks for it, and he grants it in ten-fold.
Edit: Aside from just being a very merciful and compassionate person overall, I think there was also a personal reason behind why Manwe answered Fingon's prayer so quickly. I think Manwe saw some part of himself and Melkor in these two's brotherly bond, as a kind of "what could have been" between himself and Melkor. They were brothers in the mind of Iluvatar, and the eldest of all the Ainur. Although it's tempting to think of Melkor as the older and Manwe the younger, I think them being twins is more accurate. They're kind of like yin and yang; two halves of one whole; two equal parts of the same thought; you can't have one without the other, and they were likely super close before everything went downhill. If you think about it, they were like the original Melotorni, and their relationship basically set the standard for all brotherly relationships afterwards. I honestly believe that if Melkor had not started doing crap, he and Manwe could have been the single greatest power duo in all of Arda. So when Melkor betrays Manwe, something inside them both just...dies. By turning away from his brother, Iluvatar, and the other Ainur, it's like he's killing a part of himself. By denying his brother, he's essentially denying the good in himself. And dang did that HURT. For both of them. Like, they were SUPPOSED to be brothers. They were SUPPOSED to be allies; partners; best friends. They were SUPPOSED to be unbreakable.
But Melkor just spits on it like it means nothing and just...walks away?
Dang that must have hurt.
So here's Manwe, who was truly, genuinely believed his brother had changed, only to stab in the back by basically encouraging Feanor to pull his sword on his half-brother Fingolfin, as if he's doing it just to rub it in Manwe's face. Later he destroys the two trees, kills Finwe, father of both Feanor and Fingolfin, steals the silmarils and escapes Aman to middleearth. And later in an act eerily similar to his brother, Feanor betrays Fingolfin and his host, leaving them to cross the treacherous helcaraxe.
I wouldn't be surprised if Manwe was actually a little bitter after the whole thing, but he still manages to have some pity on the exiled Noldor since it was Melkor who spread lies among them.
And then he sees something that intrigues him.
Maedhros, the eldest son of Feanor, does not join his kin in the burning of the ships but rather stands to the side. And apparently it's because of Fingon, his cousin and close friend. Despite how upset Manwe is at the moment, he can't help but find it rather touching.
But Fingon doesn't know that. For all Fingon knew his old friend had betrayed him without a second thought. It's something that Manwe can empathize with rather well.
Manwe watches as Feanor in all his grief and madness faces down multiple Balrogs and dies in the attempt. He watches as Maedhros foolishly thinks he can stand up against the Balrogs of Morgoth by bringing more men than proposed, his capture and torment in Angband. This is probably the most difficult part for Manwe to watch, showing that Melkor really had not changed at all, and Maedhros is left at his mercy, which is none.
He watched as Fingolfin's host crossed the icy wastes of the Helcaraxe, suffering great loss along the way, including the death of Turgon's wide Elenwe and Fingon's youngest brother Argon, who is killed in the first Battle of Beleriand.
He watched as Fingolfin's host and Feanor's host finally meet again, and the conflict between them, something Manwe is sure Melkor finds delightful.
But amidst all this, he sees Fingon do something incredible.
Even after all the suffering he endured, despite not knowing that Maedhros had not betrayed him, he still goes out to rescue him anyway, and when Fingon sings his song of Valinor Manwe can't help but be reminded of how he and his brother used to sing together in the Timeless Halls rather than against eachother, and Fingon's weeping when he discovers Maedhros dangling from the cliffside mirrors Manwe's own tears when he first discovered what his brother had become, and when Fingon cries out to Manwe himself, pleading the Elder King to help him give his cousin, tormented by the chains of Melkor a painless death with arrows made of feathers of the birds of Manwe, he just can't take it anymore.
"YES, HAVE THE EAGLE AND TAKE THE EAGLE PLEASE"
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It is not a dream, whatever they say afterwards.
...
She is born at the stroke of midnight, on the hottest day of the year. Anaire sweats and curses through the last week of her pregnancy. Fingolfin claims to have hauled blocks of ice down the Calacirya for his wife’s comfort, balanced on his broad shoulders.
But none of it matters, because the moment that little Aredhel, blood-slicked and howling, slips from her mother’s body, lightning flashes, thunder claps, and the heavens open up around her.
...
She is born in rain. She is born into a tempest that shatters trees and warps stone. She is born into the kind of elemental fury that cannot be taught, only experienced.
...
“There is not only joy to be had in life,” says her mother, once, tending to cuts on Aredhel’s back that were carved by a bear that Aredhel had attacked, armed with nothing more than a knife and her own courage. “There is duty as well, my little girl. Duty and kindness and love.”
Aredhel laughs instead of screaming. “The day I find love shall be the day of my death.”
“Do not say that!”
“I have seen it.”
“Aredhel!”
“Wish freedom for me, if you must offer me something,” says Aredhel, and rises, ignoring the blood staining her gown and the pain. “But not love, and certainly not duty!”
...
The gown had been white before it was ruined. Aredhel washes it in her own bathroom, scrubs and scrubs until her blood and the bear’s blood finally fade, until the sun has bleached the stains to nothingness.
Then she wears it again, braids her hair out of the way, and stalks into the forest.
She doesn’t return until she has tamed the bear into friendship.
...
Forever after, she wears white.
...
It is a reminder: life is a stain. It might begin clean, but it shall never end that way. The only thing to do is to wash it out, and to scrub until one’s arms ache, and to let the cloth dry out before being stained once more.
Aredhel learns many, many tricks to removing the stains.
...
I will have vengeance, or I shall have death, Feanor had snarled in the courtyard of Tirion.
Anaire does not ask any of her sons to remain. She does not even speak to Fingolfin. But she is in Aredhel’s rooms when she returns, sitting in the silent darkness.
“Do not go,” she whispers.
Aredhel remembers bears and blood and bitterness on her tongue. Her life in Aman has been a cage, glittering and golden, and if the world outside it shall be dangerous- well, she has a knife, and her own rage, and the knowledge to scrub out stains.
“Do not try to stop me.”
“Have you no love for a mother?”
“I will have freedom,” says Aredhel levelly, and watches her mother’s face crumple, and refuses to feel guilty for it. “I will have freedom, or I shall have death.”
...
(She does not tell that story to her father. The one time he asks- they all know where Anaire was, that last night in Tirion- Aredhel looks at him, steadily, until he turns away.)
...
There are unforgivable things. Those boats- well, Aredhel has never been a forgiving person, and she does not wish to become one now.
...
There are immense storms on the Helcaraxe. Aredhel hears, sometimes, Lalwen laughing so loud it sounds like a scream. She does not weep: she has not wept for many, many years. Even as her people- those she trusted, those who trusted her- fall like flies, Aredhel does not falter.
The tears would freeze on her face, and she has no time to brush it off.
...
When Elenwe dies, Aredhel allows her brother one night to mourn. She holds little Idril in her arms, soothing the shudders away, and doesn’t release her to anyone else. Her brothers are with Turgon; her father is tending to their people. What Idril needs is someone who remembers her.
The next morning, Aredhel wakes Idril, and she brushes the little girl’s hair out until it shines, casting more wood than strictly necessary to ensure it doesn’t freeze. Aredhel’s fingers are not nimble enough for the proper braids, but she manages a reasonable enough facsimile for her niece.
Then she takes her to Turgon’s tent.
“Get up,” she says coldly.
Argon is curled around Turgon, trying to keep him from fading through sheer force of will. He sits up when he sees Aredhel, eyes wide, and she bares her teeth.
“Get him up,” she says flatly.
“I don’t think that’s...”
“Get out, then,” says Aredhel, and doesn’t watch him scuttle out. Argon will bring someone- either Fingon, or her father- and all that means is that she doesn’t have too much time. She glances down at Idril. “Watch.”
It is four steps from the entrance of the tent to the bed. Aredhel takes the steel knife she once used to attack a bear with- the knife she’d left deliberately exposed to the elements- and places the flat very cleanly against Turgon’s throat.
Turgon jerks at the chill. Aredhel goes with him, fluid as water, so she doesn’t cut his throat but keeps the knife against his skin.
He is stronger than her. Aredhel lets him finally throw her off- though it takes longer than she’d expected- and waits, because Turgon’s thrashing has finally led him to catch sight of his daughter, his little daughter with her braids done in the Vanya style, looking like the miniature of her mother. The grief in his eyes is simply awful.
Aredhel waits.
And when he finally draws himself around Idril, sobbing but not the terrible, bone-chilling silence of an elf on the verge of fading, Aredhel leaves.
...
“You cannot save anyone,” Aredhel tells Idril, when Turgon finally allows her out of his sight. “But you can offer them a path back. Whether they take it or not is their choice.”
“The Burners,” says Idril, then- that’s what she calls the Feanorians, precocious child that she is- “will you give them a path back, then?”
Aredhel had loved Celegorm, and Curufin, and the twins, too. But she is not a forgiving person.
“If someone burns their bridges,” she says finally, “you do not owe them more tinder.”
...
(That is a lie.)
...
It is not that she is unforgiving.
It is that she does not wish to be forgiving.
...
When Fingon saves Maedhros, Aredhel visits the healer’s tent in the dead of night. She watches the agony of her cousin’s hroa, etched into his skin, and she does not feel triumph.
If she sees Celegorm again, she will fall into his arms, and she will forgive him everything.
But Argon is dead, and so is Elenwe, and so had they all come through the ice, embittered and betrayed. It is not that Aredhel does not want to forgive her cousins; it is that she fears what will happen if she does. She cannot spend her life waiting for a knife in the back.
Turgon wants nothing to do with them.
Fingon will not leave them behind.
And Aredhel does not wish to see another brother dead. She kisses Fingon, and she kisses Fingolfin, and she kisses Finrod and all his siblings, and then she disappears into the night with Turgon, having not spoken to any of her Feanorian cousins since before the Helcaraxe.
...
“Freedom is not a dream,” she tells her mother, once. “I don’t want it. I need it.”
“If what you wish for is total freedom,” Anaire had replied, “you will never have it.”
Aredhel thinks about her mother, who had loved to dance but been forbidden from it by her grandfather; she thinks about how beautifully Anaire dances in the privacy of their home. She thinks about the way Anaire has chained herself down to the thunder and fury of the House of Finwe, and she laughs.
“You would say that,” Aredhel tells her.
...
She builds Gondolin and she leaves Gondolin and she returns to Gondolin.
The day she finds love- the day she knows she finds love- is when she takes a spear meant for her son. It all cracks open and bleeds away, all the rage seething beneath her breastbone, all the fury she’s spent centuries tending to, all the anger that she’s never known the beginning or ending of, and Aredhel is burning with it, blazing, bright as the father who would soon ride to his death and the brother who would collapse under betrayal and the gods she’d once rejected.
She dies from it, of course, but Aredhel has never feared flame.
...
She is set free upon the river, her corpse dressed in the hands of the niece that she’d once cradled so tightly, her hair braided by the brother she chose to follow. To her son she has given her hairclasps; to Idril she has given the knife that once saved Turgon from fading.
(They say steam rose from her body, so great it enveloped all of Gondolin in a great fog for weeks to come.)
...
That knife- that trusty, small little knife- saves Idril and Earendil from Maeglin, atop the wind-battered tower of Gondolin, when Morgoth finally attacks.
...
Later- years later- Ages later- Aredhel falls into her mother’s arms once more. She is a mother now herself, and she has watched and walked beside and touched and loved dark things, and she is not the girl who’d walked into a forest to conquer her fear with not even a knife to defend herself. She was born in rain and died in a river, a High Lady of the Noldor. She was not felled by Morgoth. Poison took her at the end; not hatred, and not blood, and not flame.
She is the first of her family to be reborn.
“Was it worth it?” asks Anaire, once and only once. “Your dreams of freedom- was any of it worth it?”
Aredhel tosses her hair, bares her teeth.
Smiles.
“It was,” she says, “necessary.”
#my writing#silmarillion#tolkien ladies#anaire#aredhel#ig what i'm trying to explore here is how to live with the tragedy of never getting your heart's deepest desire#aredhel spends her entire life wanting freedom and never getting it#not in valinor and not in hithlum and not in gondolin and not in nan dungortheb#eol says in his speech to turgon 'let the bird go back to the cage where she will soon sicken again'#and that is just one of the saddest lines that i've read in the silmarillion#so instead of that i've made aredhel this gal who's absolutely furious abt everything all the time#we can deal w the sadness later
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