#and also im not super interested in defenses of this

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

I am now at least far enough away from the incident that I can give some more articulately expressed opinions about Kriemhild and that part of Traum, and also my general bugbears when it comes to Higashide. To really elaborate on them, I want to make a point of comparison to show this isn't just like, bias getting in the way, and that's Caster.

Well Medea. Obviously.

Caster has a really big advantage going for her over characters such as Semiramis and Kriemhild. She has two gigantic and well-written visual novels backing her up. While the first thing you probably think of when it comes to Caster is her relationship to Kuzuki, you can probably think of a bunch of different things that you know Caster for. Caster's relationship to Kuzuki is a big part of her character, but it is not the only part of her character, and most importantly, it adds to her character. It is in and of itself a jumping off point for discussing her relationship with Jason, how that has affected her, and what Caster is looking at her future for.

Bu it's not her entire character. She still has a very complex relationship with Saber, and Hollow Ataraxia's character interactions with her and the rest of the cast are all interesting, not to mention her own interactions with Kojirou either. She exists as a character beyond that, and that is also very likely why Kuzuki is just not a factor in F/GO at all. She is a strongly written character that is recognizable without him.

When it comes to Semiramis and Amakusa, Apocrypha itself is written fine although I don't really believe in the two of them having real chemistry with each other, especially as time has gone on and more of Semiramis backstory has come out, Amakusa feels very written in but without the proper framing to me to make it work. But as time has gone up, unlike with Caster, Semiramis has had her entire character swallowed up by this relationship, even though canonically she shouldn't really remember it. This is obviously to some extent fanservice, but this is a problem, because it means that Semiramis stops existing as her own character. There are entire interludes about her history that are boiled down at the end to just being about Amakusa. If you want to know Semiramis like you would Caster, you can't.

A good relationship adds to the character, it does not BECOME the character. This is especially weird because Amakusa has had a lot of interesting screen time and character writing without Semiramis being present. It starts to feel like there's only really one important character in the mix. There's Amakusa, and Amakusa's girlfriend. That's weird.

Kriemhild is that on turbo, but the issues with her writing go even further. At least with Semiramis, while her relationship with Amakusa is strange, it's not necessarily contradictory. It's definitely odd, but not out of question. Kriemhild, especially for those who have summoned her and didn't go through Traum quickly, is in a contradictory boat. She clearly in her dialogues does not like Siegfried, even if she still loves him, and it's also clear he is directly responsible for a ton of hurt that she felt. This is consistent of what we know of Siegfried, it makes sense that he would do these things, we've already seen him do it in Apocrypha. Here, we are being asked to confront the human cost of that. In Apocrypha, he's not screwing over anyone we care about. But here, he's directly hurting people, and by extension, leading to their death.

Siegfried's actions are not portrayed particularly nobly, they're considered mistakes, at least in part chiefly by Siegfried who wants to live a life doing the right thing now. So it makes sense that Kriemhild would be extremely bitter and angry at him. He...abandoned her, and didn't even explain himself. That's extremely fucked up.

For almost the entire chapter in Traum, we're not given any indication that there is going be a flip-flop in character motivations. Kriemhild is portrayed, consistently, as being antagonistic to Siegfried. She wants her revenge on him, she calls him leftovers, she talks about destroying the world he keeps trying to save. Zhang Jue hides away Siegfried not because he believes that Kriemhild will turn on the realm for him, but because, as a Berserker, Kriemhild is likely to become extremely unstable upon seeing him.

Even later on, when Siegfried approaches Ritsuka and asks for a favor, the most likely conclusion to come to, knowing Siegfried, is that he wants to fulfill his wife's revenge. That makes sense from a character perspective. Siegfried's actions have consistently trended towards those that self-sacrifice to protect others.

The problem when it comes to Kriemhild is that it is both contradictory to what we've been communicated with in the story, and that the end result is that it destroys her character. It is both bad, and quite frankly, very cheap. It's a cheap use of the love conquers all trope. In the span of one to two sentences, Kriemhild implicitly forgives him for everyone that he's done, reverts to a lovey-dovey wife, and even reneges on everything that to this build are the foundation of her existence as a Servant.

It turns Kriemhild into nothing, into what is insanely flat, because all of her depth has been removed. What is left is a character that is entirely one-dimensional. Nothing exists for Kriemhild past her love of Siegfried anymore. There's no discussions about hurt or pain or the twenty years of vengeance beyond Kriemhild immediately turning a double face on it.

There's not a nicer way to put this, so let's just get it out of the way now. Siegfried will continue to be a character independent of Kriemhild. Unlike say, Sigurd, whose character is primarily defined on his relationship with Brynhildr, Siegfried's character is not defined really at all by his relationship to Kriemhild. Kriemhild has no path from here, and as we can glimpse in further events, her character is entirely defined by her relationship with Siegfried. What are her character motivations past this point? Well obviously its not ANY of the ones we took pain to previously establish.

This is classic, textbook, misogynistic writing. Kriemhild has been turned into a lamp.

Siegfried is a very popular character, and I imagine for a lot of people, there is incentive to ignore all of this. Siegfried is getting his happy ending, he's getting his wife back. But if you cared about what Kriemhild's character was, this sucks tremendously. Reconciliation is not off the table, but what happened is not reconciliation. It's not anything resembling that. Kriemhild essentially loses all of her agency, so dramatically she dies after this happens.

Like at least Urobuchi would have just killed her.

#fate grand order #im not giving this character tags #and also im not super interested in defenses of this

[did-we-imagine]

Hi never “both sides” a genocide again please and thank you

I'm not sure what you mean to say, but I feel compelled to show empathy to all civilian victims in general because all lives are equal, and it is not to whitewash Israel or to minimize their war crimes (aka actual genocide/ethnic cleansing to further their colonial agenda).

One can feel bad for all civilian victims without buying into the criminal doctrine of zionism or being an israel/IDF apologist.

Dehumanizing civilians on either side is never good as it allows for racist/fanatic/murderous/extremist ideas to fester, which can lead to terrible tragedies. (This is exactly what is happening to the Palestinians in particular right now, they are being vilified through malicious propaganda. Jewish people went through the same during WWII with the nazis. It also happened to the Germans after during the final parts of WWII. Many women were raped by the Allies' soldiers...) . Here is an example of a mixed family.

I believe that the previous point is very important because there have been various extremists thinking that they were avenging the wronged party in their eyes through hate crimes against muslims / jews (the american 71 years old dude who killed that poor palestinian child and severely attacked his mother, and many others, which you can read about in this link).

I do not believe one bit that Israel's repeated attacks on hapless civilians in churches/hospitals are justifiable or defendable at all.

In conclusion, I would like to add a few very important points, especially for the people who defend Israel & think that pro-palestine people are antisemitic/racists/whatever:

-> This is not a religious war between jews and muslims. This is a colonizer entity attacking/exiling the colonized party. There is no reason to hate followers of either religion. In fact, palestine is a multi-religious country. There are muslim, christian and even jewish palestinians.

-> The palestinians are also semitic.

-> Right now, Israel is using Hamas' action as a justification to dish out full on genocide. However, as per international law, collective punishment of a people can never be justified by any means. Friendly reminder that Hamas =/= Palestinians and Zionism =/= Judaism:

https://www.aaiusa.org/library/debunking-all-palestinians-are-hamas

-> There are much more complex politics at play( FYI, other countries are using this conflict as a proxy war, esp USA/Iran ), considering that Hamas was financed by Iran, Hezbollah, and even Netanyahou/far right politicians from Israel who want to implement a one-state (Israel only) solution. The last category wanted to destabilize the Palestinian Authority & avoid the formation of a palestinian state through this.

Sources :

https://www.liberation.fr/checknews/netanyahou-a-t-il-dit-que-transferer-de-largent-au-hamas-etait-la-bonne-strategie-pour-contrecarrer-la-creation-dun-etat-palestinien-20231011_F5AKUAMMNVENDLJ6WBXLFPJETE/%3foutputType=amp

It's all the more jarring that this is french media saying this since the majority of their media is pro-israel.

https://archive.ph/H8LSL

-> Last but not least, this is not an equal war (for those who think that Israel is in their right). The infamous statistics of casualties. Pre-7th october 2023 :

https://www.statista.com/chart/16516/israeli-palestinian-casualties-by-in-gaza-and-the-west-bank/

Yeah, more people are dying on the Palestinian side...Because the genocide/colonization project has been ongoing for 75 years. This is proof on its own that Israel is a criminal state. Who woulda thunk?

Current stats:

Http://www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/longform/2023/10/9/israel-hamas-war-in-maps-and-charts-live-tracker

->Israel is using this attack as an excuse to further its expansionist agenda, it's not quite bothered by the hostages' actual fates 🤡 :

#in defense of palestine #israel and palestine #israel palestine conflict #israel palestine war #palestine genocide #genocide #anti-zionism #still let's not fall into hatred #let's be better than the war criminals ok #damn *phew* i finally finished it i literally lost a part of it and had to rewrite it despite saving it as a draft #im super unlucky these days i broke my tea glass yesterday and the tea was spilt #i stepped on my fucking mirror today #also lost an audio recording of an interesting conference like fuck my life #fuck my electronics too disappoing af #anyway that was very important #i do not fucking endorse genocide ok #*sigh time to go to sleep for me* #may i wake up to a better situation and all of you too my homies #israel #palestine

[llycaons]

there truly was no winning with myu. either she died in the most traumatic way possible and blamed wwx for it in a way he'd remember for the rest of his life, or she lived and kept on being abusive to everyone around her

#obvs jc and jyl were also traumatized by her death but they weren't the ones she blamed directly #her protection of wwx during the attack on LP though like her defense of him as her own tool is super interesting #I wish we could have seen more of it #this AU where she and jfm are alive but wwx was taken hostage with lwj is really interesting #she's essentially rallying the nervous sects to fight in ways that lxc wasn't able to #it's also impressive that the romance between lwj and wwx or at least the relationship is so substantial #given that they're barely allowed to see each other #but you really feel their regard and concern for one another. it's nearly tangible #im glad this was cql verse I could not have handled the bullshit and miscommunication and drama from the novel characters #ficblogging

[rohirric-hunter]

Just about ready to start recording my tutorial for Deeping Wall, but there’s one thing I need to test during a side objective first and I haven’t got that side objective in six days.

#lotro #v annoying #i play it once every day just to check #i suppose i could play on other characters too for testing purposes but hmm heres the thing about that #i dont want to #i have some editing ive got to do for helms dike but everythings recorded for that now #im putting it off because idk if i want to listen to the sound of my own voice for 40+ minutes #i dont even really dislike my voice its just thats A Lot #also i keep emphasizing that this is The Way I Do It #but there are Other Valid Options so feel free to experiment #b/c i hate when video game tutorials are like you HAVE to do it this way #im always like 'well now im not going to' #but i feel like that gets annoying #interesting thing about deeping wall is that i always played it pretty defensively #but while experimenting i decided on a whim to do it super aggressively and it worked better than it had any right to #idk how dependent this strategy is on rank 6 engineer tho it might be Very

[caeunot]

Can you do a friends to lovers fic for johnnie with them being super touchy as friends

i love this !! thank you for also being my first ever ask<3

johnnie guilbert x reader

you and johnnie have been friends for a few months now, you two became close quite fast since you both have similar interests and world views. you didn't have a youtube channel of your own but you loved making lil cameos in johnnies vids or even jakes since you love eating almost as much as he does.

you were hanging out with jake and johnnie with a few other of their friends like jc and scuff, you guys had been out the whole day and you were exhausted. as you made it to the couch you slumped next to johnnie and complained about how tired you were, "im sure it's fine if you lie down for a bit" he said, you nodded and lay down on johnnies lap using it as a pillow. at first he looked a bit confused but he soon relaxed and started gently playing with your hair while still talking to the others.

your friends definitely noticed how touchy you two were, but to be honest your love language was touch and it was painfully obvious, so no one over thought when you were extra affectionate towards johnnie. when the two of you were together you would often fix his hair or if a peice of his clothing was folded you would fix, sometimes the two of you would even cuddle depending on the circumstances.

you didn't intend to actually fall asleep but you did, and when you eventually did wake up you felt a soft blanket on top of you, you then looked around and realized that everyone was gone. well everyone except johnnie. he was still on the couch with one hand on your waist the other on his phone.

"hey sleepyhead you finally awake?" you sat up and rubbed your eyes, "why did u let me fall asleep that's so embarrassing.. how long has it been" you say anxiously as you can see it's become dark outside. "only 4 hours" he says with a smug face, making you roll your eyes.

you dramatically fell forward into his shoulder, "four fucking hours" you mutter through his shirt. he puts his phone down and let his hands run through the hair by your shoulders before slowly pushing you up to face him. "everyone was already tired and left soon after you fell asleep and I didn't mind at all okay? I promise it's fine" he says with a reassuring smile.

you appreciate his words but demand that you do something for him in return, as your looking into his eyes you then decided what it is, "can I remove your makeup for you? as like a thank you!" he makes a confused face (which reminded you of a puppy). "you don't have to do anything, makeup wipes take basically a minute to use there's really no need"

but your mind had already been made, plus since you were staying over for the night you had brought all your skincare and decided to give him a mini facial.

you sat down on the side of their bathtub and johnnie sat down next to you, you took out a wipe and started removing the makeup. you then held his cheek in your other hand so that his face can be more stable. when your done you let him splash his face with water and you take out your foaming cleanser. to do this you sat even closer to him, basically feeling his breath as you took your hands and gently massaged the cleanser into his face.

"i don't think you could be a professional with those nails, like your so close to poking my eyes out" he says after you finished, he noticed your facial expressions change, "but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it" he says almost defensively.

as you finish off with moisturizer you can see he's on the verge of falling asleep, you knew you were done but a part of you didn't want this to end. "hey johnnie there's ooone more thing to do okay?" he nods and let's you lead him towards his room. "you can just sit down on your bed" you say confidently, as if there was an actual need for any of this. johnnie is that exhausted to the point where he is just mindlessly following your instructions, which made what you were going to do a whole lot easier.

when he sat down you also started yawning yourself, as if you didn't just come out of a nap but anyways. you took his hairbrush from his side tables and sat down next to him. without saying a word you started to brush his hair while gently moving it around. "are you having fun" he says, scrunching his face up slightly.

once you finished and put the brush down you decided to be a little more forward and leaned back against the end of the bed while gently moving johnnie so that he's laying on your chest. he didn't say a word until you started brushing your fingers through his hair, this time you moved it in a way where your long nails were massaging him and he accidentally let out a small whimper.

he immediately got embarrassed and sat up. "shit sorry I know you didn't mean it that way I'm just exhausted and it felt really good'". you noticed that from those words the tension between the two of you seem to change. "hey it's okay, just come sit back down". he bites his lip in slight hesitation but he then goes and sits back down in his original spot.

you massaged his head gently for a bit longer before slowly moving yourself lower to where you faced him on the pillow. "the spare room is so far away, can I just sleep here tonight?" without responding, johnnie slips his arm around your waist and tucks himself gently against your chest. "yes please".

❣

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader #jake and johnnie #x reader #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert imagine

[junosswans]

somedays i remember how a friend of mine (whom I grew up with and used to bully tf out of me but we made amends and we're cool now) said she thinks my personality is like bakug*u and I am once again engulfed by fury because how dare you but I also cannot yell at her because that would be like me proving her point so I could only sulk on my own

it's been ages and im still not over it and im not sure if this is yet another thing that proves her point but gosh the anger this inspires in me (of being compared to him) and the irony (that my CHILDHOOD BULLY think I AM LIKE BAKUG*U)

#to her defense #she was very into period action drama when we were in elementary and she would hit me coz she thought its cool #n choke me from behind when we were lining up for assembly #but after we got to middle school she learned to be better n we got similar interest in reading and anime and stuff #shes now very proper and gentle and all so I'm all cool and we are super close tho we don't necessarily agree on everything #but we respect each other #and she wasnt the only person who bullied me anyways lol #but im also now friends with my main bully so idk whats the deal of my life erm #but ah whenever i rmb that comment of her I'm like #excuse me i hate that bitch #i know i have this tendency of being overly competitive and I hate being wrong but come on!!!!!!!!!!!! #i dont use violence on others????? n i hate bullies?????? #lia speaks

[bitseventimes]

i'm so in love with butch mac. it's kind of insane like i'm near obsessed with her and 90% of it is horny reasons but also a part of me is super intrigued by the universal choice to depict mac as a butch. With the way Mac is built as a character, youd think a logical choice would be to make fem Mac hyper feminine, to mirror canon Mac's attempts at manliness. She would probably be obsessed with beauty and fitness and girly stuff. In doing that, though, youd soon realise just how much of Mac's style and personality is shaped around performative masculinity, or manliness as a defensive mechanism, so much so that swapping her gender would change the charcter so drastically that she would be near unrecognizable. The remaining choice, then, is to keep her aesthetics and personality and make her a girl who performs masculinity just as strongly as her male counterpart,and make her hot as fuck to me personally. someone smarter than me could make a point about the way gender roles affect men and women so differently (though both negatively), and especially queer people, but alas, i'm too sleepy. just fascinating to think about anyway. would be interested to read about hyper femme Mac. who would her Chase Utley be? im thinking Karlie Kloss

#i'll stop talking now #it's one am #iasip #mac mcdonald #it's always sunny in philadelphia

[doobea]

DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE

synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.

-> MASTERLIST. -> PLAYLIST.

contents: second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration in the beginning as per usual whoops, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, summer festival arc, unnamed love interest for nagi, a little wink wink at the end, no more angst i promise!! word count: 4K a/n: omg im slowly getting back into the writing groove but man life has been something else ;-; sorry for the long wait friends but here is the second to last part hehe

ALTAIR -> prev. -> next.

“You should’ve tied it first before putting it up,” Reo says before handing you a brush.

Reo’s hair always looks well-kept, unlike the disheveled mess of Nagi’s, and definitely not like the nest of your current hair. There are maybe at least eight bobby pins in your hair right now that are struggling to keep themselves in place as you manage to tangle your locks into a twisted bun. And, now looking closer into the vanity, your makeup looks almost too gaudy, and cheap.

“No shit,” You cringe at how defensive you sound as you take the brush from him. Reo flinches just slightly as your fingers make quick contact but levels himself out again soon as they disappear.

There’s hardly ever tension between you and Reo. You two have always been the closest and the only time where you did have an argument was over something stupidly mundane. 

It’s been almost two weeks since his ‘proposition’ and you haven’t said or done anything in that regard. Nagi had suggested going to the summer festival to lighten the mood. He even added later on that he might invite the girl he’s been interested in. You still don’t know how to exactly feel about that. Needless to say, a group activity might lessen some of the tension if you weren’t fussing over your outfit for tonight.

Summer festivals weren’t a thing for you growing up, but you’d gotten accustomed to the lifetime exposure via social media and live streams. You’ve only attended one back in middle school but it was a small local festival, maybe the size of three blocks. The one tonight is apparently the biggest one around the area, students around campus have been raving about it since last month and have already flaunted their traditional outfits online. 

You’re starting to second-guess yourself. Your hair, makeup, the color of the yukata—all of it is starting to clash together.

You start removing the bobby pins and grab a brush, tugging at your stands in frustration.

“Hey, you’re going to give yourself split ends if you do that,” Reo chastises, his tone gentle. Then a sudden realization that he has always been gentle when it comes to you. He holds out his hand again, as if he’s expecting you to return the brush.

So you do. 

“Sorry,” You watch as Reo pulls up a chair behind you.

Silently, he begins to work on your hair, combing from the bottom up. He takes the time to brush out each knot without tugging at your scalp. You take this time to distract yourself by going on your phone and eyeing everyone’s outfits for tonight. 

Bachira posted his yukata about an hour ago with Isagi, Chigiri, and Kunigami mingling in the background. The caption read: #readyforparisfashionweek #groupgoals. It’s his usual selfie pose, a cheeky tongue out accompanied by a peace sign, while the rest of the group seemed to be walking towards the festival grounds with popsicles in hand. It’s a cute photo and it makes you wonder if you’re able to post something similar later tonight, maybe without all the weird feelings fluttering around in your mind. 

Suddenly, you feel a sharp pinch. 

“Ow!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Reo pauses and sets the brush down on the vanity. Yeah, your hair is super tangled. 

You look up from your phone, only to meet his eyes in the mirror and, for some reason, this makes you want to hide. 

“No, it’s okay,” You reply lamely and snap your head back to your lap. To be fair, if you had done this yourself most of your hair would’ve left your scalp.

Reo picks up the brush again and, by the time you’re done scrolling through your front page, he’s combed through most of the the tangles, now producing long strokes through your locks. At some point, he abandons the brush and replaces it with his own fingers. You can feel his blunt nails and digits rake against your skin and something about how he drags from the crown of your head to the nape of your neck makes you uncomfortably warm and drowsy. Warm like when your mother would used to scold you for missing a mark on an exam and drowsy like how your body would decompress in bed after a long day out.

“You tired?” Reo gives your shoulder a few squeezes and you jolt in response.

“No,” You’re quick to deny and rub your eyes to shake away any hint of evidence. There’s no way you plan to sleep the night away. “I still need to plan the rest of my outfit.” You ball your fists into the fabric of your yukata and hear Reo breathe out from behind.

“Hey.” 

Reo rolls his chair back enough to view your outfit from the vanity and puts both of his hands up in front of him, his fingers making a makeshift photo frame with you in the center of it. His lips finally crack a smile, probably a genuine one throughout this whole weird side-stepping period that you two created, and pretends to take a picture. 

“I know you probably don’t care but,” and this time he actually pulls out his phone to snap a photo, ignoring the small sound of protest from you. “I think you look good the way you currently are.”

Your eyes are downcast again, and you feel the need to avoid his gaze because… because what? He’s making you nervous? Or that you feel weirdly guilty about something? You still haven’t brought up the bracelet to Reo but why would you? Maybe there’s a small part of you that’s afraid of something being there. And is that something supposed to be there to begin with?

“Thanks…” You say eventually.

The summer festival is infinitely larger in the city than the one you experienced back home, and the pictures on social media doesn’t capture its full widescale vibrancy. The main road to their university is closed off for the festival, and the usual vehicle-packed two-lane road is now flipped into a row of street food vendors and local artisans. There’s a constant drumming sound and chanting echoing in the background, growing louder and louder the further you go in since the main road leads to an old shrine up the side of a small mountain. Even with all of the traffic of couples, families, and students alike, it feels intimately smaller here compared to the countryside.

“Should we head to the taiyaki vendor? I’ve heard that the guy who makes them is a top private chef,” Nagi’s date—you think her name is Nanako—is clinging onto Nagi’s arm and pointing in the direction where you vaguely see a line slowly wrapping around the block. Guess the taiyaki man is popular.

Nagi shrugs, not in an uncaring manner, but in a way where it can be read as ‘I’m happy with whatever you decide’ type of way. It’s weird seeing him like this, especially since you’ve been by his side for the past four years. 

And the girl, Nanako, she’s everything that a guy could possibly ask for. Aside from her flawless skin and cute voice, she’s been nothing but kind and generous towards you and Reo throughout the evening. The Hermes gift baskets were one thing (seriously, how did Nagi manage to find an heiress of all people?) but the fact she said she wanted to get to know you better and suggested a one-on-one brunch next weekend is another story. She’s nice, helpful, and recently found out that she’s even trilingual with the way she helped out three separate tourists on the way here. 

You feel silly for thinking you could possibly be better. You can’t even bring yourself to hate her.

“Actually,” Reo speaks up, there’s a tinge of playfulness in his voice as he starts to guide you by the shoulders towards the opposite direction. “I think we’re gonna check out the steamed buns at a different stall, but we’ll meet up later for the fireworks, yeah?”

Nanako blinks while Nagi simply nods. 

“Sure, let us know,” Nagi waves you two off and you fight off the urge to pinch Reo in the arm.

“What was that about?” You loudly whisper to him once out of earshot from the couple.

Reo pinches the bridge of his nose and scoffs. “I’m doing you a favor.”

“I would’ve been fine,” Your elbow makes an impact on his ribcage. “Now she’s going to think I’m weird.”

“Since when did you care so much about his date?” The word date makes your stomach physically flip on its side. 

“I don’t care about his date,” You turn away from Reo, now refocusing your attention back on the festival and inhaling the savory scents from the bun vendor in front of you. There’s no line so that’s good, you’ve been saving your stomach all day for this. “I only care about making a good first impression, that’s all.”

“Then don’t force yourself to do things you’re uncomfortable with,” and you hate the face that you make in response to that because he’s looking at you with an ‘I told you so’ smirk. You wonder if Reo knows how stupid he looks with that expression, along with his stupid perfectly fitted yukata, with his dumb shiny sandals, his well-tied back hair, and—

“Two steamed buns?” The vendor calls out beside you.

“Yes, please,” Reo slips past you and hands over the man more change than needed. He’s always been generous, especially when it comes to local businesses. “One red bean and one custard.”

The two of you don’t speak again until you manage to find an empty bench by a long staircase at the base of a hill. Your hands are both stuffed with boba, giant fried squid on a stick (Reo claims it’s the best in town), a takeout container filled to the brim with takoyaki, and steamed buns. One thing you will say about the festival is that city prices are nearly triple the prices you would see back home. Seriously, it should be a crime to charge 1500 ¥ for a dozen takoyaki balls. But who are you complaining? Reo’s been paying for everything tonight anyway. 

“So, how is it?” Reo watches you closely as you take a bite out of the fried squid. It’s annoying, seeing how his eyes widen with every chew and movement you make, and you could’ve sworn he held onto his damn breath as you swallowed. 

But he’s right. It’s really, really good. Though, you can’t let him have all the satisfaction tonight, right? 

“The ones back home might be better,” You say with a fake pout and you almost break character from the way his eyebrows contort in confusion. You take another bite, and another, before saying, “Maybe I should bring you guys there sometime. Doubt you’ll survive on farmland, though.”

“I did boy scouts when I was younger, I think I’ll be fine.” He replies, simple and overly confident in tone.

Reo? Out in the wild? Willingly as a child? Yeah, sure. 

“Don’t give me that look.”

You take another bite from the squid. “What look?”

He stares blankly. “You think I’m incapable out in the woods? That I depend on civilization too much?”

“Oh,” You roll your eyes, didn’t expect him to get so touchy on the subject. Maybe Reo secretly wants to prove to you and everyone else that he can do everything without feeling the need to rely on his privileged background. 

You nudge your shoulders towards the shrine on top of the wooded hill, its stone stairs dimly lit by warm lighting from the paper lanterns on each side of the steps. You don’t need to say anything to let Reo know that you’re challenging him. The ‘hide and seek’ part is implied. One thing about Reo is that he’s stubborn, so of course he’s going to say yes in order to prove a point that he might fail. But isn’t that what makes him fun to be around?

“Race you?”

He finishes his drink before standing up, clutching the rest of the leftovers in one hand as he extends out the other to you. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you race against me, dummy.”

“I can be athletic like you, too,” but you take his hand anyway. Somehow, it fits nicely against yours.

“You can say that if you win.” Reo laughs. 

“Which I will, by the way.” You shoot back. 

Reo gently tugs you close to his side, weaving through the crowds and towards the steep steps leading up to the shrine. He throws you a smile, one that you can’t tell if it’s filled with some truth or dramatic for the sake of being dramatic. “Little do you know, I always win.”

You hate how he’s always right. 

How many times has he been right today? Probably one too many for your liking.

“Still having trouble finding me?” You hear his teasing voice in the shadows behind the trees…no—wait, maybe he’s behind the shrine instead? Ugh, it sucks how his purple yukata also blends perfectly in the night too.

“No, my eyes are just adjusting to the dark.” You reply back.

“Pfft, you said that like five minutes ago.” His voice is clear, he’s definitely near you. 

You tiptoe around a few tree roots, searching behind the large bush in front of you, only to be disappointed when it’s empty. “Yeah, well, they take a while to adjust.” 

God, he can be so annoying when he wants to be. 

A distant roar of thunder interrupts your and Reo's banter as you continue your unsuccessful hunt. The sky darkens, and raindrops begin to fall, increasing in severity gradually before completely blurring the already dark surroundings.

“Well, this is just great,” you mumble.

Reo finally emerges from the shadows, that being a tree a few feet away, hands over his head in a last-minute attempt to keep himself dry. “Looks like we'll have to take shelter,” he says, motioning his head toward the shrine. 

You both start running towards its small wooden flight of stairs, evading developing puddles and screaming as the rain soaks you to the bone.

The wooden frames and panels from the building provide some needed shelter, but the storm is relentless. The air inside is warm, humid, and damp, the scent of ancient wood fills the space. You and Reo catch your breaths, both of you overlooking the hazy festival grounds from the entrance. Unlike your situation, at least the people below have actual tents and umbrellas. 

“Well, at least we're not wet anymore,” Reo says, glancing around the room. 

The sound of rain hitting the roof echoes through the empty space. The dim light from the lanterns cast shadows on Reo's face, giving his features a softened appearance. You slowly find yourself eyeing the way his wet hair clings to his forehead and the way his yukata sticks to his frame. 

Weird, everything today has been so fucking weird. Why are you sending your best friend goggling eyes right now when you should be feeling distraught that your crush is probably sucking his date’s face off. Actually… maybe don’t think about that.

“So, what now?” you ask, mainly rhetorically. The storm isn’t showing any signs of letting up anytime soon and you briefly spot the leftovers from earlier just outside of the shrine’s steps. You quickly rush out to grab them.

“Well,” Reo’s voice cuts through the rhythmic pounding from the rain and finds a dry corner to settle down. He pats at the empty spot next to him and closes his eyes. “Wanna talk about it?”

And this is the main thing you wanted to avoid all month. 

You want to say no but, since you're such an expert in 'Reo-speak' and 'Reo-body language’ for today, you can tell with one look in his eyes that he's not taking 'no' as an answer. 

"It's been difficult," You admit, allowing yourself to plop down next to him, shoulders briefly touching. “I’m sorry if things have been tense between us, I honestly didn’t know what to say or make of it.”

"I know," Reo replies, slowly as if he's hesitating to continue the conversation that he brought up. 

Reo shuffles closer and eyes the large bell in front of him. “I should be the one saying sorry. That was dumb for me to even suggest that.” His teeth clenches around the sentence and he can’t keep up his usual sarcastic tone and his voice drops, sounding gentle and almost self-loathing. 

He’s done an expert job at keeping a distance within the past two weeks. Only really reaching out if Nagi felt too lazy to contact you himself, but even that was at a bare minimum. There’s a part of you that wants to understand and question the imaginary meaning of your friendship, whether he meant anything by it. The idea of him actually having feelings and shifting the dynamic even further is a thought you’ve been entertaining since the start of the day.

“It wasn’t that dumb,” You attempt to eat some of the leftover takoyaki, only to realize that most of them have already fallen apart from being soaked. “Ugh—I mean I appreciate the sentiment and I guess it did work…” 

“Don’t eat that,” he places a hand over yours as you attempt to go in for another bite. His hand feels oddly warm and comforting. “You’re going to get sick.” 

“And you’re not always in charge of me,” though you eventually do follow his suggestion. There’s absolutely no chance for you to feel remotely satisfied from a soggy, cold meal in this predicament. 

“You should at least take care of yourself.”

“Ok, I take it back, maybe you suck at distracting me.” 

You end up pushing the rest of the food to the side and resting your chin on top of your tucked knees. There’s a long moment of silence you both allow to pass before your internal monologue shifts into overdrive.

“I’m—I’m an idiot too, Reo. I feel gross with myself.”

Reo remains quiet, waiting for you to continue, and you find solace in the silence. You're not sure where this conversation is heading, but it feels like a long-overdue reckoning.

"I mean, I don't even know why I feel weird about it. Nagi's a good guy, and Nanako seems great. They're happy, and that should be enough, right?" You release a heavy sigh, trying to articulate the tangled mess of emotions.

Reo shifts beside you, his gaze focused on the raindrops sliding down the shrine's entrance. "Jealousy?"

The word hangs in the air, and you hesitate before nodding. "Yeah, maybe. I shouldn't be, and I hate admitting it, but I am. It's just so stupid."

"Feelings aren't stupid," Reo says softly. "They're just... complicated. And it's okay to feel jealous. Happens to me all the time." The last bit is barely audible but you manage to pick it up. 

Your eyes lazily drift to his wet frame again. Anyone who’s soaked head to toe in this muggy weather with shoes covered in a gritty mixture of dirt and tiny pebbles should look gross. His small ponytail had come undone some time ago, and the black tank top underneath him is now slightly peeking through from the faint dim lighting provided by the remaining lanterns. You’re positive that you look like a mess, and that any regular person would also look like a mess, and yet here is he looking like some kind of pulse-quickening, smoke show of a train wreck you couldn’t look away. 

The sound of the next thunder rumbling fills the silence between you two. 

Then, Reo calls out your name. The way he says it is completely different. His voice is deeper, your name falls through his lips rapidly and sharply. It sounds nothing like the way Nagi would say it, dragged out and elongated. You’re usually no good with picking up symbolism all too well but you’re not that dense. It doesn’t take an idiot to figure out that there’s something in Reo’s tone that makes the purposiveness of your name painfully obvious. 

It comes slowly but you find yourself relishing in it when his hand reaches forward, brushing away some of the wet strands sticking around your face. “You shouldn’t have to compare yourself to anyone,” Reo tucks a few locks behind your ear before pulling away. 

“Sometimes it’s difficult not to,” you swallow the growing knot down your throat and sink further against the ground. 

“Hey, look at me for a second,” Reo calls out. 

He caresses your face once more, this time with a different intention. His palm rests heavily on your cheek and Reo tilts your chin upwards. His eyes pierce directly into yours and… you can’t tear yourself away. The scarce lighting is able to make out the soft redness on his face and you find yourself pressing your face against his touch again. 

Your arms hesitantly entangle themselves around his neck, watching closely as his Adam’s apple bobs at your slightest movements. You also take this moment to realize that he smells really good. Leather, cardamom, and hints of vanilla. It’s some expensive brand by Tom Ford, a cologne you remembered him receiving from his parents during his high school graduation party. The rain and muggy summer air only amplified the scent but you didn’t mind it. 

Reo tangles his fingers into your hair and leans in, pressing his lips to the temple of your head. He breathes out of your name and you can feel his body shift, almost rocking side to side. You note that Reo always does that when he’s extremely nervous. 

At some point, his lips move down and hover over yours, barely millimeters apart. You try not to think too much of your own painfully disheveled state, or the fact that you’re still fucking confused about what’s happening right now. Is anything of this supposed to be okay?

Fuck it. 

Your arms tug Reo’s head forward enough to close the gap and your lips meet in the same kind of fast-forward, slow-motion feeling that you always see in those cheesy romance movies growing up. Reo’s lips feel far smoother and fuller than it has any right to be and you’re fairly certain that the faint citrus taste is from the chapstick he always carries. You’re becoming hyperaware of everything going on — from the heavy breathing from both ends of the party, to his silky, damp hair tickling your hands, down to the rapid pulse hammering against your chest and neck. 

A quiet noise of approval spills from you and Reo pulls you closer, his hands now find residency around your waist and back to prevent you from stumbling over, almost to remind you that he’s your anchor.

Eventually, you finally break for some air. 

As you gasp for breath, Reo leans his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily in the humid air of the shrine. You can see the reflection of his eyes, dark and intense, studying your face as if searching for answers.

Reo pulls back slightly, his hand still resting around. "I like you. I like you for the past few years now and I don’t want to hide that anymore.”

The fact that your body is still halfway pulled into his lap melts away every ounce of apprehension from your bones. This is not a dream. This is very much real. 

For a brief moment, you wonder if it’s worth bringing up questions of when and why. Your background doesn’t exactly fit into the Mikage’s standards of high luxury and... again, is this even okay? 

Just when you’re starting to process the weight of Reo’s words, the sliding doors fly open and an all too familiar voice cuts through the air. 

Nagi appears at the entrance, his eyes widening as he takes in the scene. “Am I interrupting something?”

TAGLIST - OPEN

@celestair @kitorin @popponn @yoisami @anurst @katsukiiishoe @yuzurins @vitaniangel-blog @kunikame @miwafei @astruoise @faeroow @wooasecret @limerence-lu @jaynawayna @iloveblogging2 @futuristicxie @rinlvr @au-ghosttype @wavetokio @yuusami @phtogravi @funnibunneh @idontevenknow129

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #doobea writing #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage #DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE #bllk reo #reo x reader #mikage reo x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x female reader #why did this take me weeks hmm #reo *shakes head*

[anzulvr]

Hiii! Could i please request a karma x reader where reader is a crybaby and really sensitive but also super sweet to everybody no matter how mean they are?

Karma x sensitive reader // <3 // fluff, hcs.

In which Karma catches feelings for a crybaby.

— ୨୧ first meeting.

Karma and you get along well from the start, unlike most people in the main campus you don’t talk badly about E-class and you don’t make any judgements towards people without getting to know them- that’s especially important to note because Karmas never had the best reputation. Even so, you didn’t judge him based off rumors and comments made about him behind his back, earning you his respect!

— catching feelings.

Karma is the last person to be interested in dating, so whenever he starts getting all nervous and flustered around you he thinks he’s nauseous. He only realizes hes into you when he sees he’s sort of defensive over you, definitely brought to his attention by Rio(meddler) or Nagisa (He just wants to help).

✦ any time you’re upset he’s the first to ask who did something, super ready to fight anyone.

✦ He realizes he’s never wanted anyone to stick around as much as you.

—ʚ[End Class]ɞ

(If you were to drop to end class for whatever reason)

// first time meeting Korosensei you’re a sobbing mess.

Even then you’re trying to be nice telling him he’s not that scary (in reality you’re terrified because why is he like 10 feet tall..)

Korosensei frantically tries to get you to stop crying. “I promise I would never lay my tentacles on a student- I wouldn’t hurt you!! You can ask anyone in here I-”

Karma is laughing his ass off to the point he’s gripping his sides cause they hurt.

You get to sit next to him. Lucky (???) you.

The rest of the class is quick to warm up to you, if you’re not already friends that is.

— When you’re officially together.

Hes the biggest tease in existence, he can’t go 20 minutes without poking fun at you.

Has so many pictures and videos of you happy crying. (He will not let you live down.)

Also has a folder of pictures you send him whenever you’re crying over small / dumb things you find funny when you realize what you’re crying over.

(cause literally me too?? I’ll cry and laugh mid way when I realize how stupid it is 😭)

[Name]: we’re out of cookies.

[Attached image of you crying]

lmfao I’ll buy you some calm down💀 :[Karma]

[Name]: NVMM.. false alarm we have another box 😆!!

don’t care I’m at your doorstep with 5 boxes open up :[Karma]

[Name]: Wow you’re fast it’s only been like 3 minutes..

— <3 —

He brings up moments like that anytime he has the chance to embarrass you.

“Remember the time you cried cause you found out chickens live only like seven years.”

“Shut up it was really sad.”

“[Name] we had fried chicken like 20 minutes later and you devoured that shit.”

“That was so good, we should go again.”

ON ANOTHER NOTE.

No one is allowed to make you feel bad though, Terasaka is extra careful not to say anything to make you cry on days where he doesn’t want to end up on the ground.

You’re his go-to for advice. Especially if he’s ever arguing with anyone like his parents or his friends because you know more about emotions than he does.

Cannot handle seeing you upset because of something he does, the second your eyes even get the littlest misty he’s apologizing with food and flowers.

You hold a special place in his heart because often times you’re the only person he’s comfortable opening up to.

A/N: im behind on like 30 requests IM SORRY 😪😪😪

Also I didn’t really check for spelling errors for this one so tell me if you catch any pls!!!

#karma akabane #ansatsu kyoushitsu #akabane karma x reader #assassination classroom x reader #karma akabane headcannons #karma akabane x reader #assasination classroom #karma x reader #assassination classroom #assclass

[kingprinceleo]

Literally everything about Vampire Au since i irreversibly fucked everything up and im just so damn tired:

Early timeline stuff (google docs link)

everything else not on the doc-

eggman is around 100 years old and has been butting heads with gun for control of angel island the entire time

angel island is 1 main island (master emerald) and 7 smaller islands (1 chaos emerald each), GUN hid a chaos emerald on each island to keep them from being easily discoverable and to use their power to maintain the barrier, originally built by gerald as a safety feature

GUN has total control of 3 of the islands, they are more cyberpunk in terms of infrastructure, the further islands are called The Wilds, where mobians inhabit the old buildings from the flood. sonic fights to keep gun from expanding their reach further

Ghost, the head of gun, is an ancient vampire and one of the first Mobian vampires. scourned by what the mutations did to them, they want to kill the vampires of angel island to have their own peaceful domain far away from the surface world

shadow behaves differently depending on how close he is to GUN territory, before Ghost had lost shadow, his mind was altered to better fit Ghosts mission. he was meant to be used as a weapon to hunt and kill vampires, the closer he is to the city, the stronger Ghosts mind control over him is. though ghost isnt aware shadow is awake and running around yet, the mind control is a passive state shadow is in and doesnt realize. he only has a stronger drive to kill near the city.

first arc was meant to just be generally kinda silly, it wasnt meant to be super serious- hoax and shadow make their blood deal in order to get hoax to stop stealing shadows blood bags knukcles, defensive on shadows behalf, clocks hoax so hard he turns back into sonic, thus being the first person to learn about hoax being sonic (outside of amy and tails, who helped come up with hoax)

knuckles learns about the master emerald buried under his fucking pizza store. what the hell. and starts learning about his past as the last echidna from tikal, whos been haunting the pizza place until she was able to get knuckles attention

amy really wants to prove her devotion to sonic by making him a Light ring, a ring with magic infused strong enough to fully protect him from the sun. she is not a powerful enough witch to do it so she starts researching

tails is a shithead and cosmo tries to teach him about friendship

sonic starts learning about chaos emeralds while dealing with eggman etc etc

one of eggmans plots was to mess with the moon pull during a blood moon, driving up bloodlust in vampires and starting chaos

tails vampire reveal

rouge discovers sol and introduces mephiles and silver etc

eggman has a blood mining operation in sol (bc the planet is a living creature)

-arc 2 , generally

the chaotix send tails to gay baby jail , gets broken out by silver mephiles

amy starts getting real desperate bc she keep failing to make the ring, she starts checking out dark magic due to her own shortcomings, being suggested by eggman who is interested in the ring himself. she finds sol alongside sonic and starts researching more magic with blaze and other castle scholars. an attempt at dark magic goes wrong with blaze, the queen of sol. amy is exiled and back to square one, now even more desperate, she keeps trying with dark magic. unknowingly, poisoning her own magic and corrupting the gemstone embedded in sonics staff

shadow starts getting a teeny tiny bit comfortable with hoax, and also is informed about the master emerald by knuckles. tikal remembers him and he starts to realize something isnt quite right in his memories. time for a series of unfortunate events

he delivers pizza to the eggman himself, who talks remorse about what he put shadow through, but angles it in a way to spark further hatred for sonic in shadow, stating sonic influence is what made him have regrets

amys dark magic usage starts corrupting hoax himself, because he is a product of amys magic. the darkness slowly chews away at his mind, and if they dont fix him, sonic will become a mindless servant of dark gaia forever. this is the shadow hoax reveal. It takes all of the friends & shadow to be able to fight and wrangle hoax, once the gemstone is smashed, shadow gets to see hoaxs true form, sonic. shadow tries to KILL HIS ASS

mephiles, the shape shifter, has taken interest in shadow and his determined to make his life more miserable by shifting into rouge and biting him, exposing to shadow rouge has been hiding being a vampire from him the entire time theyve known each other shadow fucking snaps and fucks off to go work for GUN, all vampires are the same lying conniving bastards, and he wants to kill them very dead

shadow captures sonic and he gets held in the central GUN base. sonic finds out Ghost has been not only killing vampires, but draining their lifeforce to keep themselves alive bc theyre old as shit. rouge is also exposed as a vampire (the chaotix supervisor) and gets held in a cell as well. the chaotix think this whole thing is fucked up actually and bust their queen outta there. knuckles and Co come to save sonic, shadow and knuckles have a stand off about both being the protectors of the island and how their friendship has gone out the window if knuckles chooses sonic. Knuckles escapes with sonic

The realizations DO NOT STOP COMING. BOOM. GUN DOCUMENTS. maria was a vampire womp womp. gun killed her for it. Shadow is horrified and the memories start flooding back. Ghost doesnt like this. Get in the Suit Boy. we are gonna kill these heathens <3 ! mephiles takes control of shadows body but no one is aware bc hes inside the fnaf suit. terrible day for him mephiles is gonna use the eclispe canon to drill to the earths core and reunite with iblis ! the only reason he was in sol in the first place was bc he thought blaze was the iblis trigger

everyone is OBVIOUSLY trying to stop this including eggman what the hell shadow this isnt worth it what the fuck

mephiles casually tosses shadows body into the core of the earth once hes done with him and woah. silver and sonic solaris fight woahhhhh vine boom vine boom

arc 3 !

no more angel island barrier, sonic has left to pursue eggman on the surface since hes up to no good, leaving the protection of angel island to knuckles. amy has also left for the surface to spend time on her own and try to learn magic for herself

shadow , barely alive, is fighting his way tooth and nail from the core of the earth.

a year of time passes and during that year- sonic gets up to little adventures, shadow learns to live life on the surface knowing all of the truths about himself now. they both realize they kinda had a crush on the other guy.... damn thats unfortunate.

Ghost no longer has the chaos emeralds but has Created the phantom ruby as a replacement, and has raised infinite from the dead to be its bearer. they create a fake Sh4dow. infinite gets to live out his tormenting shadows life fanfic for fucking killing him !! smh . infinte also uses Sh4dow to infiltrate Sol, Ghost has just discovered the pocket dimension on Their island and wants it gone. This is Shadows sol apartment btw. the fake bought it and he just. took it.

things are gradually getting worse on angel island and both sonic and shadow return. shadow is informed of the fake and teams up with rouge and knuckles to get rid of it flower ball happens around here, Sh4dow trying to fuck up sol somehow and shadow has to stop him. amongus time sonics been flirting with the wrong guy for a while. :{ embarrassing.

something something this leads to infinite and Ghost fight and they both die whatever who cares

so thats what ive been doing for like 2 years !! i . really fucking hate it tbh. all of this work feels so wasted and i feel so stupid. sorry for wasting your time for so long

i like the characters and i like what they have going on but like man,,,, all of the surrounding context just feels so miserably hopeless, it was all for nothing and i just. i want to sleep forever

#sonic au #vampire au

[communistkenobi]

im an undergrad student who was thinking about specializing in studying fascist movements in North America for my masters and ive really enjoyed reading your book commentary - you connect things that I'm not always aware of in ways that are really comprehensive and appreciate

Do you know of any researchers who are moving things on the topic right now (most of the books ive read are around 20+ years old, unfortunately)?

(sorry if any of this is unclear/grammatically incorrect/weirdly worded - I'm super sick rn)

thank you! I'm really glad to hear that :)

For contemporary writing, I'm currently working through some of Alberto Toscano's work - he has a really interesting article from 2021 on fascism from a Black radical/Marxist perspective where he summarizes various historical analyses of fascism from Black (particularly US) thinkers and activists. One thing I especially appreciate is that he complicates Aime Cesaire's formulation of fascism (i.e., "european colonialism come home") as incomplete when applied to settler colonial contexts, especially the United States - one of Cesaire's articulations of fascism is that (to paraphrase) "one fine day, the prisons begin to fill up, the Gestapo gets busy" and so on, and Toscano, working through Angela Davis and George Jackson, responds with (again I'm paraphrasing) "the prisons are already full! The Gestapo is already here!" etc. Toscano also has a new book that just came out in 2023 called Late Fascism, which explicitly addresses the current moment. I only have a physical copy of that so I can't share a pdf unfortunately, and I still need to get around to reading it lol.

These are also a couple random articles I found insightful:

Carnut (2022). Marxist Critical Systematic Review on Neo-Fascism and International Capital: Diffuse Networks, Capitalist Decadence and Culture War - does what it says on the tin

Daggett (2018). Petro-masculinity: Fossil Fuels and Authoritarian Desire - talks about car culture as a site of modern reactionary political movements, links climate denialism with (proto-)fascist movements

Parmigiani (2021). Magic and politics: Conspirituality and COVID-19 - this one does not mention fascism explicitly, but imo the intersection between new age spirituality, anti-vaccine sentiment, and qanon/q-adjacent conspiracies are pretty important to understanding contemporary fascist social movements, so I'd still recommend reading this

Finally, this isn't an article but I found this recorded lecture about the history of Qanon pretty interesting. I don't think the author gives particularly insightful answers on how to solve the problem of far right conspiracies in the Q&A portion but I found it to be a helpful summary

Otherwise I've been focusing a lot on decolonial scholarship more so than fascist scholarship - this is again guided by Cesaire's argument that Europe/The West broadly is inherently fascist. These works aren't contemporary, but you can look at this post for some of the readings I linked on decolonial scholarship if you want to go that route. Those are serving me more for theoretical frameworks to guide contemporary analysis, not analysis of contemporary events directly

also idk if I need to put this disclaimer, but just in case this leaves my blog: this isn't a full throated defense of/apology for everything in these articles, I'm not claiming they're sufficient to understanding the present moment, these are just some of the things I've been reading recently and have found helpful in some way or another. a lot of contemporary work I have read (much of which isn't linked here because I don't think its very good/do not have it on hand) focuses on populism and authoritarianism as central analytical terminology, which i think does a lot of work to exceptionalize and mystify fascism as a historical and political process/project originating from European colonialism & Western imperialism, but these terms are endemic to the field so you have to contend with them no matter what

good luck with your studies!

#asks #book club #i need a fascism tag i think lol. maybe ill make one later

[biggiedraws]

okay i just finished rewatching fma brotherhood and can we please talk about how fuckin 15 ed is. like lots of anime protagonists are 15 but ed is *so* 15.

like- he needs to disguise the car so he makes it into a 15 year olds idea of a really cool car, and its so cringe the adults force him to change it. he makes ling a sword and puts a little skull on the handle (for literally no reason except that he presumably thought it would be cool, even though they were in the middle of getting their asses kicked by envy) and then gets defensive when ling calls it lame. he gets riled up unbelievably easily over NOTHING. his fighting style is scrappy- hes experienced but not disciplined, and he'll use whatevers on hand to get the job done. he'll mess around in the middle of a fight, use unnecessarily flashy moves/weapons, and hes just generally a nuisance in combat. he gets really flustered when people insinuate that winry is his girlfriend, and then when he DOES confess to her 2 years later he uses a fucking alchemy metaphor because hes a NERD.

im saying all of this with affection by the way- hes a cringe 15 year old because 15 year olds are cringe! i feel like most of the time these high school age protagonists are basically just adult characters with more naive ideals, or theyre a bit more emotional, or they have "childish" interests. ESPECIALLY with these high stakes action-adventure stories, where the fate of the world is in their hands. but a kid can have the weight of the world on their shoulders and still handle their emotions poorly, act recklessly, goof off at inappropriate times, and generally think and act in a way that adults wouldnt. and still be mature and competent characters! i mean, ed is a GREAT protagonist. he has a full understanding of the stakes and he knows how and when to get serious. but he also does shit like breaking into a secret government laboratory, alone, in the middle of the night, with no plan, and nearly gets himself killed in the process. because hes a reckless kid! and if he HADNT done that, they never would have found out the enemys plan in time!

and its just so perfectly executed- instead of childish traits being sprinkled on top of adult problem solving and emotional regulation, him being 15 informs how he acts all the time! sometimes this is a good thing because he solves problems in a unique way, and sometimes it causes even MORE problems. its a fundamental aspect of his character that contributes to both his strong and weak points.

and my absolute favourite part is that hes still treated like a person worthy of his title and reputation- not only by the adult characters, but by the narrative itself. but he isnt treated like an adult either! the adults around him dont talk down to him, but they also dont have adult expectations of him. theres a whole bit about how the adults shouldnt stand by while the children are on the battlefield- insinuating that while the children are worthy of standing on the battlefield alongside them, they also feel some responsibility to lead them since theyre the adults. which is super reasonable! its probably the best take on adult mentor figures for child main characters ive ever seen.

and yeah theres an argument to be made that it was pretty fucked up of mustang to recruit ed to the military at 12 years old. but he was super upfront with him about what it would entail and didnt force him into it. so watching it as an adult, yeah, its fucked up. but the target audience is kids and thats how kids want to be treated! yeah its a lot of responsibility, but ed knew that going in AND he has a huge support network of trustworthy adults who are looking out for him. hes fine. and hes DEFINITELY better off than most high school age protagonists, who are just sort of thrust into high stakes, life-threatening situations with little guidance. the dynamic is less "you are The Chosen One who will singlehandedly save the world" and more "i mean you certainly have the skills and we really appreciate you working with us but what the fuck is a child doing in the military. who authorized this?? youre going to get yourself killed PLEASE be more careful!" and like. if youre gonna have a show about a 15 year old saving the world, then thats definitely the way to do it.

and what really seals the deal is how pissed ed gets when people treat him like a kid. thats the most 15 year old thing ever! he FEELS like hes being talked down to and disrespected just because hes not given the same expectations and responsibilities as the adults. watching it as a 20 year old im super impressed by the way the adults treat ed, but i can also understand why ed gets so frustrated. its the nature of being a teenager and thinking you can handle more than you can. which really just solidifies how fuckin 15 he is

btw im not saying ed is the only well written teenager in the show. hes just the clearest example- hes so LOUD about who he is and it makes it really easy to talk about his character traits. also hes like my favourite character ever and i just have to talk about him. so like al and the rest are also really convincing kids, and a lot of this stuff kind of applies to all of them! im just talking about ed because i want to lmfao

#i dont really have a thesis here i just love it #great writing and so fun to watch #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab #edward elric #analysis

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my friend my boundaries?

(fake names)

so about a year ago i (17f) met my friend Jess (16f). Jess is really nice! we share loads of interests, our sense of humor is similar, she's always super fun to be around. recently, we've gotten a lot closer and both of us have gotten more comfortable with joking around with eachother (like being pretend-mad over silly things like losing a game and the like) it's always in good fun and it's obvious we both are just messing around when it happens. recently though, i was playing a fighting game with her and after i won, she started acting pretend mad and we were both having fun until suddenly she bust out with "kill yourself!". i didn't do anything, just laughed it off and we kept playing, but in all honesty i didn't like it. i know a lot of people talk like that as a joke but for me personally it has always been off limits "ill kill you!" is fine but for some reason "kill yourself!" Isn't. i can't really explain it. anyways, this is where i should've said something, let her know that i didn't like this kind of thing, but did i do that? no. i have a pretty hard time setting boundaries (feel like im being a priss+annoying+no one cares what i think+im terrified of vulnerability) and especially since i don't know for sure how close we really are (i have a hard time understanding how close i am to people and i tend to overshoot and think we're best friends when they don't even consider me a colleague so i try not to assume) i felt like it was better to just leave it alone, so i did.

she kept making the jokes, i kept brushing it off, everything was fine. then one day we were hanging out with a mutual friend, Lucy (18f) and things went a bit awry. to clarify: i've know Lucy since I was about 8, we've been best friends since forever, through changing schools and moving cities and everything. she is one of the fewl people i feel comfortable telling absolutely everything.

so we're all hanging out, and then Jess, as usual, cracks a KYS joke at me. i laugh it off awkwardly but then Lucy steps in to say that "she doesn't like that type of joke, you know that right?" because she's always a little defensive of me. Jess just goes like "oh, i didn't know, sorry" and we keep hanging out. later, when me and Jess are walking home together, she brings it up, very upset, and asks why i didn't tell her. i tell her i have a hard time setting boundaries and she didn't do anything wrong and it's alright, but i can tell she's still upset when i drop her off at her house.

later that week, i get this long text from Jess where she basically explains how upset she was that i didn't tell her how i felt and how she ended up looking like a bad friend in front of Lucy and how she also FELT like a bad friend for not noticing how i felt.

personally i don't think this is that big of an issue and i even told her she wasn't a bad friend for not noticing (i have really robotic facial expressions and my voice is sort of monotone, so people hardly ever notice what im feeling) and that Lucy wouldn't judge her like that, but she hasn't answered and still seems to be upset.

was i the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[aleenya]

sharing a little bit more of my steins;gate mtg deck bc im having a lot of fun with it and to be cringe is to be free

context: these are all mtg proxies. ive changed nothing mechanically except the card names or flavor text (some i need to tidy up or format better tho.)

i wanted to prioritize thematics above all else so most of the cards come from the dr who sets!! (which are so banger omg. suspend is a great mechanic.) if ur interested in the full deck feel free to pm me, im happy to share! it still needs some editing/reworking but its fully playable and legal as is

commanders

so these are the commanders. kurisu (clara proxy) is scarily good bc whenever an activated ability triggers on a doctor (all the doctor cards are mostly just world-line variations of hououin kyouma/okabe LOL) then it triggers a second time. and that gets ridiculous fast 🧍

hououin kyouma (tenth dr proxy) is great bc he gets cards into suspend, the mechanic this deck is built around. when cards are in suspend, they're considered 'exiled' and have time counters on them that tick down every upkeep. once there's no more time counters on those cards, you play them for free. He can also time travel (bc of course) which can either add or remove time counters. hes honestly a lot of fun, i love the lil combo this pairing has!! and i love the thematic element that kurisu just makes okabe better bc its true jfghdhdhdh

see more below!

creature highlights

ignore the fact that mr braun is an alien rhino soldier i just had to have this card in my deck bc i thought it was funny LMAO

i also have other wordline variations of suzuha and all the lab mems <3

spells/instants highlights

one thing: all of history all at once + rousing refrain = insanity

i have no defense for grapeshot i just really wanted the cg of mayuri with the gun in my deck KGHXDH

enchantments highlights

artifacts highlights

i have a lot more artifacts (including the time machine and a lot of the future gadgets, like moad snake, which gives protection from all creatures for a turn.) round table and the moment are thematically fun tho - and of course obligatory ibn 5100.

wincons

wincons are cards where, if i fulfill a certain condition, i win the game! i play mtg very casually and just for fun, so i dont like infinite combos or anything like that. but i thought for s;g it'd be fitting to have some slow-burn win conditions that i slowly build up towards. one is Gates. Gates are special lands from the baldur's gate set; i've reworked them in my deck to either be different s;g locations or worldlines (like alpha, beta etc) and then finally i have the steins;gate card (proxy of maze's end) where if i have at least ten gates in play and then play that, i win. it's a verrryyy slow burn wincon tho and i've only pulled it off once, so it's not very reliable. but its fucking thematic and thats all i care about LMAO

and then the other wincon is the Divergence Meter which is also super slow. if i can at least get the time counters on it to 500, then double to 1000, its pretty much an autowin B) but again, getting it to that point is difficult and takes a while. which i find very fitting

thank u for coming to my deeply autistic presentation. am i slightly deranged for doing this? mayhaps ... but my love for steins;gate knows no bounds </3

#steins;gate #i feel suitably insane #magic the gathering #I GUESS??? #mtg who?? this is the official steins;gate trading card game what are u talking about

[clownattack]

my midterm/absolutorium is over and now i can actually. celebrate my bday lol i was too buried by uni bs this month to unwind.

i got like three diff pieces of cake from my fave pastry shop bc I DESERVE IT AFTER BLOWING MY PRESENTATION/DEFENSE OUT THE PARK (according my my classmates/prof but also ME MIETTE!!! IM SO HAPPY I DIDNT CLAM UP LIKE I DID DURING THE ONLINE PRESENAYSH AUHJA. And the prof cadre actually??? Seemed interested and asked me questions abt the process etc. Which is not on brand, usually they seem disinterested in what ppl are presenting and only a few projects get their attention. NGL after working my ass off beading these skulls i feel JUSTLY REWARDED. HARD WORK PAID OFF. And as per uj they couldnt believe i make them all by hand lmaaaaooo anyway zen right now after beinf so stressed last week & the weekend i can actually relax. enjoy my term break. make some clay critters

also the pics are kind of ehhh bcs the artificial lighting was super intense and kind of took away the softness/dark colors from the skulls esp :c i dont really want to upload hi res pics of these things until im finished with my masters 100% and hopefully have my degree. The red skull esp looks kind of miserable compared to rl/vids/proper documentation but i dont want to upload now. idk maybe i will once i rest and think abt it? ANYWAY THE CAKES

#maybe one more skull ahaha... #i have 7 already i dont need more but i want to make a pink/white oyster mushroom looking guy #BUT LIKE!!!!!! #IM SO HAPPY PROFS ENGAGED WITH ME #one showed me some art jewelry pieces as inspo/reference after i stepped down #since i mentioned i want to make jewelry annex inspired by memento mori jirly #and another one actually remembered me from last year??? HUH #He remembered the skeleton i made and said hes really looking forward to my masters being done / final presentation #which btw i will have to find an actual solo gallery space and organize the whole event #which #not scary at all #sweating #but for now im just elated by the validation and praise from everyone LAMOASDASD #ill fucking take it #like the skulls are sick ok #i didnt make pics of the whole set up #the kintsugi and delft one was on the grrrround #i dont really mind tho bcs yeah #for a gallery space the light quality was not good #i can make better pics in the studio/at home lol #i actually cant wait to make a proper post abt all this :'c #its been like 3 years of sculptures at this point that i havent posted abt #im so happy the live presentation impressed peeps #bcs yeah i was so stressed b4 the online one AND IT SHOWED #i said /actually/ so much and my voice wibbled #idek why i think it was exhaustion #ok im off to get my fucking BABA TIME #uni #gpoy

[eeteernity]

Gekko x reader

im witting this bc when i was on the gekko x reader tag i was in the top blogs and i felt like an imposter so now i have to write one

cw: fluff

you want an indie boyfriend who skates and introduces you to music, clothes and overall just loves you? Gekko is right there in the corner staring at you in adoration

You were quite new in the protocol, you joined right after neon, so only 2 more people joined after you. You pretty much got along with everyone there, even being tolerated by viper and reyna. (you think reyna only didnt hate your guts because you were a radiant)

though you did like to hang out with neon, raze, jett and phoenix a lot. Those 4 you seemed to mesh really well with, very loud and outgoing people. Which is why it was such a shock when another agent joined.

“Everyone this is gekko, The new guy who will be joining you guys on missions, make sure to treat him well.”

Brim said sternly, while gekko just gave a bit of a goofy wave. It was love at first site.

“he’s so fine omg.”

“i know…”

you and neon whispered to each other. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, he was just so different to most the people here, he looked more relaxed and chill. Sage then took him off to show his room.

“yo (y/n) you should get to know him, he looks so cool.”

neon said with a sly smile.

“honestly I will.”

reyna looked over to you and neon and just rolled her eyes muttering ‘kids’ under her breath before walking away.

you decided to leave him alone for a bit just for him to get settled in. Sitting in the common room you switch through channels trying to find something interesting to watch. However you didn’t have to wait for long to talk to the new guy.

“hey you’re (agent name) right? sage told me your name by the way. im not a stalker or anything!”

he said putting his hands up defensively with a small smile.

“oh hey! yeah I’m (agent name) but you can call me (y/n), I don’t keep my name a secret here. It’s nice to meet you! are you liking it here?”

“yeah it’s super chill, i’m loving the vibe here. my name is mateo by the way”

he says as he sits near you on the couch.

“anything i can help you with? or did you just want to talk to me?”

you say in a teasing tone, causing his cheeks to go slightly pink.

“oh yeah i was actually wondering if you knew any places to eat around here? specifically chinese im really in the mood for that right now! But i also wanted to talk to you!”

he again said defensively.

“oh yeah i know a shit ton. you want me to go with you or just give you directions?”

“oh sí that would be great if you came along, you could help me order!”

“okay let me just go put on some shoes”

you and gekko went off to a near by street that had many food places, on the way you engaged with the usual first meeting talk like ‘how old are you?’ ‘favourite colour?’’where you from’ just the normal stuff. You got to the food place and decided to eat it there instead of takeaway. it was a small place, a family owned business. it was quaint

“so (y/n) what do you plan to get?”

“hmmm i’ll go with this one”

you point to your usual oder on the menu.

“i’ll get that too!”

you and gekko order and just keep talking. its nice, he’s really nice, and chill, and good looking and you’re staring at him again.

“so you wanna tell me about the people we work with? por favour.”

“oh yeah okay so, everyone’s really nice. Maybe not viper and reyna but they’re nice deep down… i think.

“ohhh reyna is actually the one who trains me!”

“really?! that’s cool as. Omen was the one who trained me when i first arrived. but anyway, keep your eardrums safe around raze she can be a bit loud.”

“veo, veo.”

you two keep discussing everyone until your food arrives.

“woah this looks good as, great pick (y/n)!”

“yeah, also i’ll pay for you if you want. I got spare cash”

“really! thats so nice!! gracias!”

eventually you get back, completely stuffed from the food.

“yo (y/n)! Gekko! you’re back. You guys want to watch a movie with me, raze, killjoy, sage, jett and omen?”

neon asked as soon as you walked through the door.

“yeah im down, what about you (y/n)?”

“yeah same! what movie are we watching?”

“a horror! its going to be so fun, just come to the common room when you’re ready.”

neon says before sprinting away. You look over to gekko and see him slightly frozen.

“you scared of horror movies or something?”

gekko nods his head slightly.

“don’t worry you can grab onto my arm if you get scared!”

gekko blushed a little at this.

“haha thank you (y/n)…”

the two of you walk to the common area and the movie starts. Everyone is sat in twos, Killjoy and raze, omen and sage, jett and neon.

the movie starts out well not too many scares but then the first jump scare happens. Making neon and Gekko jump

“oh shit!”

he says as he grabs onto your arm.

“sorry, didn’t mean to grab onto you.”

“its alright mateo-“

“shhhh!”

jett shushes the both of you.

the movie continues. With gekko basically clinging onto you for dear life. so like a good person you rub his back for him to clam down. he shivers at your touch. The movie ends, and killjoy and raze are giggling to themselves about how bad it was. omen and sage thank everyone for watching the movie as they walk to go do their own thing. while jett is comforting neon.

“neon it wasn’t that bad!”

“yes it was jett! what if that weird thing is going to come for me!!”

“come on lets go get you some water…”

which leaves you and gekko alone.

“you feeling alright?”

you ask him concerned.

“yep… yep. i’m alright. Man how do you not get scared?!”

you just shrug your shoulders.

“anyway i’m going to get ready for bed. If you get scared i don’t mind you waking me up or anything. I’m here for you.”

“okay, thanks for spending the day with me (y/n) it was really nice to get to know you!”

you leave.

He’s so cool..

i really like her..

OKAY THATS THE ENDING I MIGHT CONTINUE IT WHO KNOWS BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS OUT. SORRY IF IT’S BAD I DIDN’T REALLY KNOW WHERE IT WAS GOING

#gekko #gekko x reader #valorant #valorant x y/n #valorant x reader #gekko x y/n #x reader #fluff #mateo #mateo x reader