#and also for the emotions i will have. because god knows i am going to be crying and screaming and sobbing afterwards

[witchpassing]

interview_3aC

I got into piloting during the Third Generation. For the historically illiterate, that’s before the breakpoint, not after. Summer Offensive, Chelsk Offensive, ‘81, ‘82… All that shit.

When you say pilot now, people get a certain mental image. It wasn’t like that, back then; end of the day, a G3 frame is basically just another kind of tank. Hot like hell inside and full analogue control. You had to think five, six, seven seconds ahead sometimes, because that’s how long it’d take you to string together the inputs for what you were doing next.

I was good. I mean, I’m good at my job now, sure, but… you should’ve fuckin’ seen me then.

... Anyway. Long and short of it is, I got unlucky. Everyone does, sooner or later. Coterie railcannon caved in part of my cockpit, crushed my leg to dogmeat, and that was that. A few years later, they’d have amputated, plugged in a spare, and sent me back in, but this was ‘83, the tech wasn’t there yet. We were hearing about it, you know, shit on the grapevine about the brain-machine barrier, weird tests underground out in Lysk, but I don’t think any of us really believed in it.

I wanna say I knew what was coming, but I didn’t. Nobody did.

So. Cockpit breach. Fucked leg. They did a lot of work, got it to where I could walk on a good day, but it was obvious I wasn’t gonna cut it any more. Took my pension, checked out, spent eight years in the worst dyke bars I could find. Don’t really wanna talk about that part. That’s not what you’re here for, anyway.

So I’m a few years down the line, losing my mind somewhere in Sengrade, and I get a call. It’s this guy I used to know, I never really nailed down what he did, Information maybe, and he’s telling me about this program they’re spinning up over in Lysk, and sure that rings some alarm bells but what am I gonna do, say no? I don’t even need to hear the specifics, he’s trying to tell me it’s the next big jump in frame tech, it’s gonna win us the war, whatever, I’m already halfway onto a train.

The job turned out to be the Fifth Generation. Not only was the brain-machine barrier real, but they’d smashed clean through it. I said a G3 is basically a tank, right? So I was expecting an iteration on the form. Sharper, sleeker sure, but at the end of the day just a prettier-looking tank.

Well, I was dead fuckin’ wrong. Seeing something that size move that way, it’s… I don’t think I can put it into words. Go find a poet or something. Ask them what they think about Gen 5.

… Didn’t come for free, of course. The neural throughput on a machine that size will cook an unprepared brain like a fuckin’ egg. You need to be dosed to the gills on a whole cocktail of ten-syllable shit to take it for more than a few minutes, and the drugs make you weird. Horny, mostly - I’m sure you’ve heard about that - but you’re also looking at impaired impulse control, difficulty with long-term thinking, emotional disregulation, mania… Plus, there’s something in the cocktail or the link or both that is bastard habit-forming. You see them counting the hours between sorties. They adjust to the hyperstimulation, get calibrated to it, and then everything else is just too god-damn quiet.

Think maybe it’s carcinogenic, actually, but you didn’t hear that from me.

So, yeah. Weird. Command doesn’t want weird operating superweaponry. Weird doesn’t make sound tactical decisions. Which means all the shit that makes somebody a functioning soldier - the long-term decision making, the impulse control, the ability to give a fuck about the rules of engagement - it had to be outsourced.

The term they used at first was “special consultant”. Then “special consulting officer”, once we hit field testing. It wasn’t “handler” until later.

The first crop of us - I’m just gonna say handlers, I know how you’re gonna wanna spin this, I get it - were all ex-pilots. G3, mostly; Gen 4 didn’t leave a lot of material to work with. I guess the idea was we were the closest you could get to a G5 candidate’s frame of reference, but it was pretty clear within the first few months that that was bullshit. Some of us took to it, some of us washed out. A lot couldn’t take the wetwork, which I guess I can sympathise with.

Me, I handled it fine. Better than I should’ve, maybe. Being a tanker didn’t do shit for me, but my dad, he was a dog trainer, and… Yeah, well, you get the idea.

… No, no. The other kind of wetwork. You know what I mean.

…

The leg? Ha. Yeah, they offered me a prosthetic. ‘Course they did. But, call me a hypocrite, whatever you want - by that point I was six months in and I knew with total fuckin’ certainty I didn’t want the link. I spend enough of my time helping the military put their shit into peoples’ bodies, you know? I don’t want it walking home with me.

… No, I don’t understand why they keep signing up. Early days, sure, nobody knew what it did to you back then, but there’s been leaks, people’ve talked - hell, I’m talking right now. You can find our burnouts in any dive in the country, or what's fuckin' left of them. The candidates now, they know what we do to people here, and they just keep coming, and coming…

Though, you know… I think sometimes about the first time I saw a Gen 5 machine take off, that first day on the program. The way it moved against the blue-black of the sky, like it weighed nothing at all. And I almost get it.

#empty spaces #mechposting #this one's writing #microfiction

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

One show ends, another continues to be a banger, and we have some exciting new stuff heading our way. These shows are on Gaga unless otherwise marked.

Living With Him

Welllllllllllll. Okay, listen. I have been going easy on this show because it's such a nice unassuming little guy, but this finale, after the last few weeks of wheel spinning, was not it. This should have been a simple and cute if not groundbreaking show, but they tried to stretch out the story in some truly lazy ways and turned it into a bloated mess that ultimately didn’t keep the emotional through lines in place. Some of the scenes in this episode worked fine in isolation, or would have been great if they'd happened, say, two episodes ago, but as a follow up to the content that came before them and an ending to this story? Not so much. On the bright side, the epilogue material was adorable and the cast in this was fantastic all around. I really hope we get to see them in other shows.

At 25:00 in Akasaka

Another great episode, and we learned so much about Hayama. I love it when a flashback episode actually tells us new information that recontextualizes things we've already seen while also making perfect sense. Hayama having a narcissistic and emotional fragile mother? Of course. Being drawn to Shirasaki out of genuine respect for his character and acting skills? Yes. Admiring him from a distance and never saying a damn word about it all through college? Checks out. The way he describes being near Shirasaki? "I feel like my shell is being peeled off." MY GOD, what an evocative line.

Having seen this, I now totally understand why Shirasaki would truly have no clue that he is the person Hayama has always liked. Hayama is so contained, so concealed, so affectless with others that he gave no outward signs of his interest to anyone who doesn't already know him very well. And now the two of them are stuck in awkward hell and they have to film a love scene. Bring the pain, show, I am feasting.

Bonus: Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka

In case you haven't seen yet, @isaksbestpillow has begun subbing this Japanese drama about a middle aged man who becomes friends with a gay student and broadens his horizons. As Sirii notes, it is not ql, but it's a drama featuring queer characters and I'm so excited to get a chance to watch it. Check out her post for more info.

Tagging @bengiyo to add a manga update.

#japanese ql corner #25 ji akasaka de #at 25:00 in akasaka #living with him #kare no iru seikatsu #japanese bl #ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka #jdrama #shan shouts into the void

[bibibuck]

EDDIE DIAZ IS A GOOD FATHER AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFERENTLY CAN FIGHT ME HIM LETTING CHRIS GO BC IT'S WHAT CHRIS WANTS/NEEDS RN AND JUST REMINDING HIM HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM I AM DEVASTATED 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I WILL SERIOUSLY FIGHT WHOEVER WANTS TO TELL ME EDDIE IS NOT A GREAT FATHER AND THIS EPISODE JUST PROVED IT FOR THE THOUSAND TIME.

like what he did in tonight's episode is the hardest thing a parent ever has to do: letting go of their child when all they want to do is hold them tight forever. but he did that because he does not love chris as just his son or an extension of himself. he loves chris as a person, and he respects him and his needs and his emotions. he put all of his instincts and desires and needs aside (AGAIN!) for christopher. he's made many mistakes but my god he loves his son and my god he tries so hard to give christopher everything he wants and needs so he can know his father is full of flaws but also full of love.

i just hope the natural conclusion to this storyline is s8 having eddie work on himself and realizing that he's always been thinking of things as "if i want to be a good father for chris it has to be all about him and never about me" when in reality he should be thinking as "the more i am myself the better a father for christopher i can be because what we want and need is not so different after all."

#911 spoilers #eddie diaz #911 #ask #anon

[feline-evil]

Hiding my shirt that says 'i am not normal about narratives that imply an inanimate inhabited structure is a living breathing organism' as i walk into a board room and pitch my idea that we should make more horror revolving around living architecture

#jay talkin #I JUST. I JUST. i'm thinking about old haunted house movies that have this grimy sticky feeling to the house #where the evil is not just afflicted to wood and bricksbut eminates from it as a hatred #the house itself hates you. the voice screaming get out is born on the vocal chords of the hallway #i am also thinking about The Hotel the podcast you should all already be streaming CHOP CHOP CMON NOW #which is of course a more unique and i would say more abstract sister to this concept #(said deeply positively the concepts and horror explored make my brain ping pong rapidly) #which is another reason you should be listening because it does its own thing that i think you should listen to and discover yrself :) #(and also it is far more than this this is just a tiny SLITHER of what is explored go listen NEOW) #and i am also thinking about. drum roll please. you know whats coming. yes it could be nothing else #kitty horrorshows anatomy which is TO THIS DAY one of the best and most influential games upon me i have played #a game that pushes this concept to its core grotesque emotional fleshy pulp and runs with it #anatomy is a game that breeds in anxiety and discomfort and bleeds a sincere love in the horror it portrays #that love is something i yearn to see in horror media! it is also present in the hotel AHEM AHEM #but yes anatomy is an experience like no other that you really should experience for yourself #(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening #dear god my pain medcin kicked in and i instantly became the worlds least normal man didnt i. WELL!!! thats all of youse problem now

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[wormchaser]

the new wave of tcc wants to be so morally pure because of the way dominant culture (for youths) is at the moment .. of course pedo shit like that is wrong the whole way that community works is built to harbor bad people.. nothing wrong with calling out harmful behavior ? being that old and into dylan klebold like that isconcerning and you should get yourself checked out because you have something seriously up with the way your brain works. the same goes for anyone of any age experiencing that with anyone of any age whether or not they've killed people. it's just extra layers of fucked up to add real life dead people who died for no reason at the hands of a nazi and the fact that said nazi is 17... all of the tcc is fucked up this is just emblematic of the larger problem

#it not because interest in crime is bad for you... it's because if you get a community of young people together when they all have issues li #ke that things will go wrong. its just a sea of at risk individuals thrown into a situation of social capital that shouldn't even be there #in the first place. literally if you are experiencing that sort of emotional attatchment especially if that person is significantly younger #than you and has also killed people- seek help about it!! im being serious!! something is up in your brain and in you need to sort it #the fuck out for your own good and the good of the people around you #i know i am one to talk but i am seeking help. it's not easy; not just emotionally for some but logistically. help isn't the easiest thing #to secure. but by god you should be trying or at least keeping it to yourself if you don't want help it's irresponsible to have that out in #the open for kids to see and think is normal

[fellhellion]

touga is NOT the same level of shitheel as akio i am throwing myself into space

#HES IMPLIED TO BE A VICTIM OF CSA IN HIS FAMILY. AKIO LITERALLY GROOMED HIM ON TOP OF THAT #OH MY FUCKING GOD. ONE OF THE PEOPLE HERE IS A FULL ON ADULT GROOMING MINORS AND THE OTHER IS A SHITHEAD 16/17 YEAR OLD #WHOS LYING TO HIMSELF ABOUT BEING ABUSED BECAUSE OF WHAT HE CAME TO BELIEVE *BECAUSE* HE'D BEEN A VICTIM OF #ABUSE #I AM GOING INSANE #TOUGA IS NOT A 'GOOD' VICTIM. HE HURTS PEOPLE. HE HURT HIS SISTER. BUT HES ALSO A DEEPLY DAMAGED TEENAGER THINKING HES GAMING THE SYSTEM #PURELY ON THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE KNOWS ITS RIGGED #AND THAT BELIEF IS WEAPONISED BACK *AGAINST* HIM IN ORDER TO GROOM HIM #RAHHHH!!!!! HIS WHOLE ARC IS ABOUT COMING TO ACTUALLY OPERATE W EMOTIONAL SINCERITY #HE TRIES TO 'SAVE' UTENA SINCERELY. COMPLETELY SINCERELY. ITS PATRONISING ABSOLUTELY BUT ITS HIM BEING INDOCTRINATED BACK INTO THIS SYSTEM #BUT INSTEAD W THE MINDSET HE MOCKED OTHERS FOR HAVING #ITS BOTH SO FUCKING TRAGIC *AND* A VICTORY BECAUSE GOD. AT LEAST HES FINALLY SINCERE. HE FINALLY GOT OUT OF THAT ONE ASPECT #RAHHHHHHH <- insane person #tunes talks utena #csa mention

[muu-kun]

#; ♡ ; okay to reblog #muu has admittedly been describing is self perceived melancholy and isolation regarding it #as being comparable to the circle drawn around Sadness in Inside Out due to others finding his emotions to be Too Much in capacity #and that as such he has thus been persistently trying to make himself very very small in spaces #so that maybe perhaps someone would soon be able to reside in the circle with him just until he gets to where he feels he is supposed to be #muu has also stated on numerous actions that while he is adamant about self healing he is not necessarily of preference #to not have the assistance of peers and their feedback and he tends he show it most predominantly in asking them to hear Everything #about himself in the form of the big box because one he wants assurances at the end of it all but also because he Has to be explaining #his processes of thought and general state of where he is now to people so that they may go Oh so that why you do the neurotic shit you do #but it really be hard out here when you don't know how to self advocate for a persistently emotionally present romantic partner #you don't really have any friends and you are either God awful at making new ones or you don't want to try for reasons of either #feeling scorned past close friends of yours have left time and time again OR #because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing #until you can properly answer that dilemma but in turn you've left yourself with 1 person to seek out and talk to #but with that comes the existential dread of either a this person is also going to leave me or #b I am in fact so totally codependent on them that it isn't fair to be my sole research for assistance that I ought to fend for myself #but what do you even do to fend for yourself when you don't even know how to Advocate for yourself?? #you devise a plan to shrink down and provide no indication to those around you that you are struggling with anything #that perhaps shriveling yourself down like that will allow for people to find you tolerable enough to be around #and that their presences will patch up every interpersonal wound in your system until eventually what you are faking has come true #; ♡ ; inner thoughts

[ihaventsleptinweekz]

I want to formally apologize for the person i will become once this new episode comes out

#and also for the emotions i will have. because god knows i am going to be crying and screaming and sobbing afterwards #like the theme of goodbyes?? summer coming to an end??? SUMMER CAMPS IN GENERAL? I WILL NOT SURVIVE THIS. #Not after going to the same exact summer camp for ten years. and feeling this emotion every single time. #camper or counselor it doesnt matter. nothing will change the desperation ive felt as the camp came to a close. #and nothing rivals the emotions i feel as it begins next summer. literally nothing. #camp camp #sorry im not normal about camp camp #going to a summer camp and then working on staff at a summer camp has made irreversible changes to my life #and seeing parts of it in a funny hilarious heartbreaking tv show? fucking INSANE. causes deranged behavior.

[potahun]

nif is so good but it's so long but it's so good but it's so damn long but it's so good but it's

#im a bit dismayed at the fact that im at ep 26 and im not even HALF-WAY THROUGH #capping series at 40 episodes was a good choice actually #i AM going to finish it and i am having an excellent time overall #it's very informative too but #augh im not built for series of that length #this makes me too daunted to watch joy of life again despite knowing it has murder-mysteries #i am very very sorry to mnh but so far i think without introducing her love story with mei changsu #we would not have lost much on plot value or emotional value #... #and would have gained maybe just enough to cut down 80 minutes #i also god damn well hope the southern chu storyline pays off #because this is also screen time that could be cut after the birthday party otherwise #the southern chu princess is infuriating

[pebblezone]

this Tylenol ain’t shit w

#talkingcore #emotions. man. #there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn #how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery #but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released #so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate #fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders) #I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up #how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that. #the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him #brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit #need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk #also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me #and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were #referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’! #and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck #what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person #I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay! #butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks #I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains #need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv #AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry

[masterkeynobi]

gonna be thinking about this one for a while actually!!!! god damn!!! sabé, so loyal to the queen that there's no way or need to speak the depth of it aloud! sabé, who would die willingly for amidala, who would never ask her to! sabé, who isn't heartbroken or yearning in her devotion, who will always put her lady first and is honest with her other lovers about it! sabé, who can't answer when asked what her life after padmé will be! sabé, whose own parents don't call her tsabin anymore! sabé!!!!!

#sree.txt #star wars #queen's shadow #sabé #sabédala #going absolutely batshit insane naturally this kind of queen/bodyguard dynamic was built for me #& also just. all the other four have something To Do With Themselves after padmé's term ends #sabé doesn't sabé's life is service she would choose it willingly a hundred times over #frankly i am chewing on glass that's love! that's love!!!!!! the handmaidens are damn near psychic with how well they know each other but #nobody knows padmé like sabé #nobody is as close (in any sense of the word) to amidala as sabé #nobody can emote quite as similarly & it's because sabé KNOWS padmé so fucking intimately #good god. #paragraph tags

[beehop]

i dislike the dentist for so many reasons but what is it about them that can just make you feel like a berated small child who has done something wrong but doesn't quite understand why they are getting scolded

#like ok yes i understand as an adult why i am getting scolded #but also it makes me feel so small and stupid #i brush twice a day i don't know why my teeth are like this i do my best and my best doesn't include flossing every day #like i don't know what to say #i know its partly genetics because my mom has similar problems but god #no other part of your body demands this much maintenance #what the fuck is it about teeth #anyway now i have to go back TWICE because the hygienist was basically so displeased with my teeth that she wants to do a deep cleaning #something i had no idea existed but takes TWO sessions and numbing #also i have a cavity but that's like lol whatever at this point #and some of this i have to pay for out of pocket but it seems like insurance covers a good portion #bc i asked how much it was and it wasn't awful #but GOD i hate it #i hate it so bad #like i legit almost cried and now i have a headache from it and it makes me feel pathetic like i'm nearing 30 this is so fucking stupid #i can deal with the discomfort from the cleaning itself its all the emotional shit that they seem to lay on you that just...ugh

[whentherewerebicycles]

my dread levels are sky-high this morning and I know exactly why: I am already freaking out about clothes for tonight lol. I went and reread this Woolf short story just now and am struck again by how exquisitely it captures the unbearable agony of picking out an outfit for a social event, feeling excited or positive about it, and then arriving to discover that the outfit is utterly Wrong and humiliating and bad, and you by extension are also wrong, humiliating, bad. total emotional meltdown that snowballs into a total existential meltdown. this is so relatable to me that I have to laugh aha even as I also claw at my face because SO RELATABLE. like I feel this in my BONES:

I have this memory of being in middle school and shopping for dresses for the first last & only school dance I ever attended, and I just had a total silent meltdown in the dressing room and then sobbed all the way home and said to my mother WHY CAN’T WE BE BRAINS IN JARS I WISH WE HAD NO BODIES OR CLOTHES I WISH WE WERE BRAINS IN JARS. these days I have largely moved beyond my ‘wish to be a brain in a jar’ phase but all it takes to plunge me right back into it is an unfamiliar social situation where I don’t fully understand the dress code or the framework of expectations through which other people will interpret my clothes. really makes me feel like I am losing my goddamn mind and also my grip on reality & on my own identity lol. I wish we all wore sacks I wish we all wore uniforms I wish we were all brains in jars communicating via electrical signals

#the only way to master this is to decide well in advance what I am going to wear and then to allow absolutely no deviations from the plan #like I must be absolutely fixed in my mind and absolutely unwavering #i am leaning towards the dress and tights with a cardigan to dress it down #because I think it is better for my emotional state to be a little overdressed than a little underdressed #but we will see. i am doing laundry and then I am going to try on one alternate outfit (jeans and nice tshirt and cardigan) and decide #i already know I do not have the right kind of top #which is why I am leaning towards the dress #also I’m rereading the story again and I want to teach literature again soooo bad oh my god #that opening passage is six sentences! and look at how much it conveys!!! you have this unbelievably rich and nuanced understanding #of who this person is and how she’s situated in the world and how she perceives herself and how others perceive her and how bad the meltdown #is going to be!

[mazojo]

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

#this is definetely a line I’ve read in fanfiction somewhere #ITS HOT??? ALSKSKS AS IN MY SUPER COOL CLIMBER BIKE BOYFRIEND OR THE WHETHER EXPLAIN. #The way I am like. So invested on this I need to get a grip I am sweating through this relationship #Wdym the weather I mean? Just tell him bitch stop playing hard to get my god #Todou is so clingy man I love him that’s my man assert dominance bitch #I think the whole staying behind for his team while I climb alone thing break up is a metaphor. #Let me sit on it for a bit and I’ll make an essay on it todou speaks in fancy metaphors he is complex like that #Also like Last summer SHUT UP I AM ONLY ON SEASON ONE AND I AM EMOTIONAL WDYM LAST ONE #AM I NOT GETTING ANY MORE TODOU AFTER THIS? #No man measures up to him what am I supposed to do. Stressed. Concerned. #And then Manami goes and proposes that him and onoda have one of those homoerotic climbs up the mountain girlboss #He is already making sure his boy is reserved for next year we can’t lose #Bro biking is so complicated like I genuinely didn’t know how much strategy went behind this I am so invested ALSKSLLWK #I love watching sport anime because I have no idea what’s going on because I barely know how to run yet I get hyper invested #yowamushi pedal #todou #makishima #anime

[lunartrashbin]

The mere thought of Angeal is about to make me an endangered species

#out of context this feels like an insult #but my god does he do so many things to my singylar braincell #its true i have have one brain cell and 99% is just fhinking about angeal lately #like sir are you from heaven because i am going to go insane just looking at you holy ahit #like goodness gracious he... #like just angeal by himself makes me feral #but good heavens forbid angeal smiling?!1?!1?1?1!?1 #thats just asking for a second big bang to form in just my brain like ohjm #oh my god i am going to put him in my mouth #hes so perfect my meow meow my babygirl my cutie lil scroogly #he makes me feel so many emotions #including lust which i wanted to mention because its such a funny word like idk why #like its pretty in a way but also just like me when i am lusting #me when angeal or smth #but anyways im going to commit crimes for this man i dont even know if its funny or not #like i am going to combust like a stack of minecraft tnt all scattered all over a flat world like oh my god the things id let him do to me #i dont even know if i cant fall asleep just thinking about him like he makes me feel so giddy #like giddy leg wiggle image fr #im gonna write a gengeal fic now #lunartalks