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#and also everyone saying itll get better… im not an idiot i know it will bc everything does but i dont see this becoming any better in the
marketa · 10 months
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i could have never imagined that a heartbreak would hit me this fucking hard like its been over a month now since my bf broke up with me and he refuses to let me talk to him properly and i tried so fucking hard to do everything i can to distract myself from all of the thoughts of him but it’s so fucking difficult and it’s just impossible to occupy my mind with anything else 24/7 like of course i wont be able to focus on all the boring podcasts and tiktoks to make me momentarily forget about the fact that the only person i ever really loved just suddenly stopped loving me back without a reason and i just dont know what to do anymore i feel extremely exhausted and dead inside and i want to scream and disappear and i wanna forget about everything and i just cant do this but i also cant really tell anyone bc my parents are already worrying enough and my friends would keep telling me how i’ll find someone better and that he was an asshole like i KNOW but hearing that doesnt make me feel any better and i just wanna see him and properly talk to him and i just dont know what id do if he never looks back and never speaks to me again i dont wanna lose him i cant lose him i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i dont know what to do im so tired and done with everything and i just cant do this
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pythiaba · 2 years
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teal deer b4nes a big old asshole on a high horse but their horse is thumbelina the dwarf mini pony cardboard edition and also they proved their point immediately, you guys are too used to people being polite and being able to threaten retaliation with magic. being deity adjacent does not protect your bank account from these hands.
this is long and hours after the fact but ive been biting my digital tongue and whatever! i wanna say it and i will, i am prepared to deal with the consequences of my actions
b4ne absolutely has a point in that using your name on the internet anytime anywhere is a terrible fucking idea. people can get so much off of your name, its stupid. not to mention that people are on here all the time playing ask games about what their favorite things are where theyve lived where theyd like to go, its basically any hackers wet dream for getting into your accounts and stealing your skin.
goin off of their posts, i feel like b4nes been in this field for a hot minute, theyre older than the “average age” of tumblr users (quotations because some of yall act like early 20s when youre 500+), and theyre dead sick and fucking tired of repeating themselves that putting your info online is a terrible idea. so they veer into mega bootyhole territory and within 10 minutes of talking to someone, doxx them to prove their point.
and firstly, you guys go “holy shit how did you do that”
then you all got supremely pissed off at them for doing it because you suddenly realized it was a genuine threat and anyone youve met up to this point has been kind enough to Not Do That.
hi. im capable of doing what b4ne did. the difference is that 1 i dont have any real reason to, 2 because what happened to b4ne would happen to me (you guys getting mad and threatening to show up in my house with magic), and 3 i dont go rubbing that ability in peoples faces. (i do warn people on my pinned with a vague statement about being a hacktivist.)
most you guys arent human. you are powerful! you have magic and godly abilities and teleportation and you go to the moon for fucking fun. even humans largely dont take cybersecurity very seriously, but why would you, you think, you can retaliate by casting thunderwave up the asshole of the next idiot to cross you!
...if you can find them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 ive noticed most of you guys cant seem to be able to visit people without certain requirements being met. idk how you expect to actually do anything but block and report, and tbh they can just make a new account. its very easy
so i get that this doesnt exactly translate as a problem, especially for those of you that live in pocket dimensions and stuff. if you live in a lawless wasteland where you make the rules cuz youre the only person there, go ahead, do what you want, hell keep doing what you want, but im dead serious when i say that not everyone will come in microdick swinging like b4ne did and be polite enough to tell you they did it
bc they did not have to
they are a massive fucking asshole who clearly thinks theyre better than everyone because i sus they dont quite remember how to socialize properly but they have an extremely good point that they proved was a good point. continue to be mad at them for the former but for the love of jack frost understand the consequences of using your name everywhere are very real, s e r i o u s l y we are not required to tell you that we figured out your social in 10 minutes out of curiosity
now. to b4ne!
HI THESE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY POWERFUL, IDK WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR END OF THE UNIVERSE BUT YOURE A FUCKIN IDIOT AND I CANT WAIT FOR  THE SECOND SOMEONE IS A GOD AND CAN HACK YOU BACK SO YOU GET SOME KARMA WHEN THEY YEET YOU
because itll be hilarious. promise to liveblog it pls
tho ideally if youre firing off all this bullshit you know the best plan is to use a computer and printer from the 90s and take them out back the second they get a whiff of the idea of bluetooth
what is it everyone says about serial killers after they get caught...? “they were so nice!” “so helpful, so kind!”
just because someones kind doesnt mean they wont do certain things is basically what she said.
also, you appear to refuse to engage with what you dont understand if you cant easily talk down to the other party and brush it off like the ramblings of a madman, which is telling of your ability to actually listen and learn, so i dont actually expect much from you reading this post on the offchance you do
‘everything being perfect’, aka the definition of utopia, does indeed straight up not require being nice. what would be a utopia for you likely wouldnt be a utopia for me. maybe my utopia is literal hell /j
utopias are impossible under free will, everyone jot that down (my brothers high school counselor especially). post was stupid and i recommend deleting it makes zero sense
flying in being a colossal asshole to people you just met does not a pleasant and attentive crowd make. you know what you coulda done to prove your point in a kind way without exactly repeating yourself with “dont use your name online”? 
“guys, seriously, i can find a lot. i can prove it, one of you volunteer and ill dm all your information to you. see, now that users wigged because i know that at 3:57pm they took their dog out to pee bc i looked through their ring camera recordings and told them their hair was a mess.”
instead you read like you came here to get an ego boost because nobody irl takes you or your job seriously, and boo fuckin hoo, me too buddy, i just bitch about it like a normal person instead of doxxing some poor bastard at the drop of a hat because i logged in in a pissy mood bc my boss took credit for my code again
you may have knowledge of cybersecurity but youve the attitude of a toddler and i dont know why you bothered making an account on this website. you can get your kicks elsewhere while doing actual good. (no, what you did isnt really good.) consider drinking water, touching grass, taking a deep breath, and playing some neopets. 
continue to be entertaining to patches lest she appear in the shadows of your house and giggle from the corners over the next 4 months while you become increasingly paranoid and withdrawn from the world because youre getting stalked and ghosted by all the people you drove away that coulda helped you
to all of you, this isnt some gotcha, i dont think im better than any of you, but this is extremely frustrating to have backread and im gonna need all of you to take a breath and eat a snickers. 👋
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seongwhy · 5 years
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ateez reaction the their crush making the first move
hongjoong
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hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!
he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u
unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!
but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)
you decided you had to make the first move
but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out
just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs
so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit
and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing
and so does his !!
and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made
and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil
and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN
IM CRYING
and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just
'o-oh thank you' he says
and u smile at him and ask him to show you more
he takes a second to recover but blushes even more
and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing
so u do
but he doesnt
seonghwa
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seonghwa tries his best ok
he just really likes you
so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you
like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit
thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that
but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down
'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'
but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam
and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around
and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed
and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'
anyway after that it was just so obvious
youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast
but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks
and you honestly like the attention he gives you
and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth
you cant resist him
so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself
and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'
and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.
and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'
and hes like ,,, right
and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you
so he sits obviously sweating
and you're watching this show and hes watching you
with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil
and after a bit you look at him
and you're looking at each other
and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it
hes taken aback at first but leans into it
and you're a rlly good kisser
then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen
'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'
'just kiss me again dummy'
yunho
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puppy!! lil baby boy!!!
ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now
and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno
but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything
the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'
like.... they told u sis
and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr
and you slap him across the chest for that last part but
wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????
'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'
blind w love babyyyyyyyy
this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer
you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)
and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him
tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing
and he immediately kisses you back
no hesitation
but then
'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head
you both blush and turn to look at each other
yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'
'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe
yeosang
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ok dis man loves his chocolate
and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch
bc you LIKE HIM
and u want him to LIKE YOU
and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right
but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)
so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings
and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try
and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'
'yes !! all for u yeosangie'
he just looks as you in awe and love
and picks up a fork ready to take a bite
he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips
and you blush but laugh
and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD
and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'
'what?? you dont like it'
'nonononono I LOVE IT'
and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight
'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes
'youre amazing' you say
'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'
',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'
hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his
he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'
'I had to get you to shut up somehow'
yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'
',,, get out mingi'
san
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bruh yunho looks so funny wtf
sannie is such a happy boy :(
his life goal is making you laugh or smile
he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!
and that's why you fell for him
and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks
san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that
n e way
yall get along rlly well
hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night
and someone chooses a horror movie
its scawwy
and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie
through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy
and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen
but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing
when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would
so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong
he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you
so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again
this time he just looks at you
'I'm sorry' he says
'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'
'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'
his head hangs and he sighs
you lift his head and kiss him slightly
'its ok' you whisper
instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours
you kiss him again
and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands
and by the end of it hes shyly smiling
'there it is!! theres my boy'
he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch
that day it was up to you make him smile
and you did !!!
mingi
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mingo mango
the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him
hes always whining for you whenever you're not
and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever
'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'
freakin hilarious
this is something u love making fun of him for
liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?
and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer
but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him
at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him
and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis
and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'
and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi
and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you
'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night
'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'
and you roll your eyes because . idiot
but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'
and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice
'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back
and kiss you he does
wooyoung
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ok so wooyoungie and u
have such blatant chemistry
yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click
but u dont notice it
I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u
but all that does is confuse you
one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'
and you're like ...huh
yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'
and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head
a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis
and you turn firetruck red
yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'
wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on
'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling
you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that
but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him
and he asks what you wanna do for the night
but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have
wooyoung asks if you're okay
and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes
so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do
wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room
'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'
'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him
you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again
so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung
and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung
u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend
'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'
'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'
you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out
'y/n?'
you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'
'uh for u? always'
blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call
once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically
wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'
you basically jump on him and kiss him hard
you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist
when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips
you smile back and say 'that was the rush'
wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him
'took you long enough'
jongho
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jongho cant believe u two have met
you're one of his favourite new idols
and you met at a show
and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was
blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music
you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever
so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about
and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave
you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime
and you do
all the time
at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh
but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke
you guys catch each other up on everything
he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you
and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute
and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him
and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you
he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'
jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red
'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye
so you lean in and kiss him
'it's not a joke' you say
'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'
'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'
jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option
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jedward5ever · 3 years
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Jacob and Edward
hey guys. just a little something. Jacob and Edward if you’re into that. 
setting: cullen’s house they’re studying or smthn bella hasnt moved in yet
edward: so what did you get for number 5?
Jacob: uhhhhh…..i didnt do it
edward: ok. why?
Jacob: i don't really get this whole math thing...can u explain?
e: oh that’s okay. well first of all this is biology. so in question 5 they’re asking what is the first step of glycolysis, do you know what glycolysis is?
J: uhhhhh i turn into a wolf sometimes
e: *startled, looks away.* uh? ok well glycolysis is basically when glucose is split (glucose is sugar and like……. sweet) and the final product is two pyruvate molecules
J: *turns into a wolf* aaaaawooooooooooooo
e: *slaps him across the wolf face, once then twice* what the FUCK are you doing. you cant do ths in my house and u broke my antique glass table i stole from bulgaria
J: *turns back into a person* sorry bro i do that sometimes when im nervous
e: ………. *lights down spotlight on edward for brief monologue* i… i  feel so guilty i slapped him to be or not to be? then i should aboiplogize *lgihts back on*... hey jacob im sorry is lapped u….. why r u nervous’
J: its ok bro…..im nervous bc...no i cant say it...its embarrassing
e: *caresses jacobs’ face where he slapped him* its ok. im sorry. sometimes i let my anger get the better of me
J: its ok ...its just that….i..i….
e: *starts getting mad* speak the fuck up. what are u saying
J: *mumbles something*
e: *starts meditating to calm down* what.
J: i said…..i….l...ll
e: WHAT YOU STUPID MUTT
j:......i….love……
e: what the fuck r u trying to say *flexes his hands ina nger*
J: i love y- *dies of unknown cause*
e: Hi, I’m edward cullen. im trained in first aid. can i help u? *no answer* hello? are you awake? bystander *points to alice* please contact ems adn let them know someone is about to be Turned *bites jacob*
J: *becomes a vampire but also still werewolf* bro……
e: ok. so do you understand glycolysis now?
J: yeah i do thanks bro that helped a lot
e: no problem, now onto question 6. wait. this isn’t a bio question. it says…. no i can’t read this filth
J: what does it say man
e: it… it *face turns red then green then purple* it…. ugh this is disgusting. you read it
J: i didnt want to tell u this bc i thought you would make fun of me but…..i cant read...
e: u fucking illiterate bastard. fine ill read it *clears throat* fuck i didnt copy pzste it hold on
Lmssoaooao dw ok it wont let me but *jacob x edward fanfiction*
LAMOAOAK
J: dude…...thats in the textbook????
e: yeah. its fucking disgusting. how did they know everything about us… actually wait it look s like someone wrote this by hand…
J: thats so weird…..who would have done that….so gross….
e: lemme check whose textbook this is. *flips to front*................................................................. *looks up at jacob with golden orbs and squints his eyes* it says its ur textbook
J: thats c-c-crazy bro ,,,,, i cant even read hahaha how could i write that hahaha
e:....... you fucking liar. yeah u can read. is this seriously how u thin k of me? of us? ur sick in the fucking head. i woulc neve.r;..... never fucking do that with u
J:....is that...is that realy how you feel?
e: *inexplicable rage* obviously u weirdo stupid werewolf dog *starts choking jacob*
J: *actually likes being choked* oh no…..oh no…..don't do this…. e: *notices hes into it* AHRHGHGHHGHGHHG (in rage) *choke slams him into the broken glass table* YOURE SO GROSS
J: *thinks* he will never love me the way i love him...maybe i should just end it all…..
e: *freeze frame…. lights down spotlight on edward again...  monoglogu* wait…. what the fuck……… is that smell? i just realized i cannot read his mind? what the fuck is going on…………. *slideshow in the background with informational voice: it turns out that one of jacob’s sperm containing renesemee was i dont know hanging out which was already pyscihologucally connected to bella and stole bella’s power of smelling good and no thoughts then transferred it to jacob making him have those powers* *spotlight end* jacob…….. why the fuck…. cant i read ur mind… why do u smell so good…
J: i didnt know u could read minds….maybe i just don't have thoughts…..
e: everyone has fucking thoughts.l…… but i cant… read urs…
J: i don't know…….has that ever happened before?
e: no… *intense eye contact*
J; *blushes and looks down* im sorry im different
e: *looks away cus jacob looked away, then  accidentally looks down* bro… is that….
J: no bro… its not what it looks like!!!
e: *stares at him then throws up to the side* i cant believe this… ur a nasty dog but i cant help but feel….. attracted to u
J: youre...attracted to me……
e: I dnt’ know why……. dont worry i cant get it up i have no blood
J: wait….we cant fuck??? Im out of here *turns to leave*
e: wait. there is a way…… *flashback on the slideshow to when edeawrd drank jacobs blodo to vampirize him this slideshow is viewable by edward and jacob*
J: well tell me,,,how do we fuck?????
e: u tell me
J: i don't know youve been a vampire longer than i have
e: bruh. so????? i follow the christian beliefs
J: stupid idiot we cant fuck then
e: *looks away* i guess. not like i wanted to anyways
J: you know what? I don't have to deal with this *turns to leave* call me when you want some dick
e: *when jacob is more than like 10m away suddenly intense pain hits them both* theres… something i forgot to tell u. when i vampirized u….. iut basically means ur bonded to me for like 1 month….
J: so youre telling me….im stuck with u for a month….and we cant fuck
e: well yeah more or less
the end
BREAKOUT ROOMS ENDED CLASS IS OVER LMAAOAOAOAGood rp bro SUCH A GOOD CLASS i agreed exactly to be continued
LOL EXCELLENT STORY it was honestly amazing great twists and turns, the tensini was high cant wait to see where this goes hope rob enjoys <3
setting: school assembly, principal andrew is doing a presentation on how to stay safe from these mysterious killings….. (vampires and werewolfs)
jacob and edward sit next to each other cus they cant be 10m apart.
e: ugh. u again.
J: stop talking as if this isnt ur fault
e: *whispering* ur the one who fucking died for no reason
J: ok and?? You didnt have to bring me back
e: *roll eyes* u know exactly why i had to
J:.........what do you mean…….
e: *looks at him with golden orbs then looks away* shut up. principal andrew is talking..
J: *is listening to every word andrew says bc he is so amazing but keeps looking at edward*......
e: * is listening and doesn’t notice j acob looking at him, then speaks to jacob without looking at him* look… they’re talking about killings… is this ur fucking tribe’s doing?
J: what the fuck no way its your stupid fucking family we keep our end of the agreement
e: *inhales sharply, then grips jacob’s leg with vampire strengthz* dont u fucking talk about my family like that u stupid mutt *people begin looking in their direction*
J: *is kind of turned on but would never admit it* stop being fucking gay people are staring
e: *notices people are staring and releases jacob, embarrassedly* just shut the fuck up and listen. *andrew begins talking about A CURFEW… they cannot leave their houses or some shit like basically e and j have to be together*
J:wait….how the fuck are we supposed to stay in our houses if we cant be away from each other….im not about to live with your weird incest family…
e: *enraged again, grabs the back of jacob’s neck at the pressure point* what the fuck. did. i say. about. talking. shit. about. my family. take that  back right fucking now
J: *smirks* what are you gonna do about it…..be more gay?
e: *even more rage* i am not fucking gay —- cut off by andrew: Edward, Jacob, what the fuck are yall doing? *everyone turns to look, spotlight on them*
J: im sorry mr andrew….its just that edward attacked me…..hes so in love with me and he keeps assaulting me...im not gay though
andrew: oh thank god (he thought they were gay). edward, jacob immediately separate.
J:uhhhhhhhh i think we have to talk though…..sort this out with words…
e: *is extremely embarrassed to have everyones attention on him* Yes sir, andrew. i mean principal andrew. *grabs jacob by the scruff of his neck and drags him to the hallway and then slams him in to the lockers like bullies in the 80s* why the FUCK did u embarass me like that
J: bro you embarrassed urself…..you were all over me….just say youre into me itll be easier for both of us
e: ALL OVER YOU? *slams him again*
J:yeah like ur all ove me right now you cant keep your cold dead hands off of me
e: *moves back as if burned, walking away backwards while also throwing up, but then he is too far and they are both in intense pain*
J: dude calm down lets talk about this shit….we gotta make a plan
e: *refusing to come closer, so still are in pain* …...plan… for … what
J: the fucking…..cerfew…. Idiot…. Come back…..
e: *doesn’t come back, vomits once more* no… u fucking… smell…. what do … u mean…. the curfew…
J: were you not….listening to andrew… we have to stay inside our houses….but how can we do that if we cant be apart from each other
e: *looks away angrily* ….. we… will have to… stay apart… in pain… i guess…
J: you’re so fucking stubborn you did this to me and now youre making me suffer too
e: … i… don’t… care…. *walks even further, causing them more pain*
J: were only like 20m apart….and it already feels like this…..you think we can handle more thN THIs forever???? Youre so fucking stupid
e: *glares at him but doesnt come closer* shut. the … fuck up…. you fucking…. dog…
J: *steps closer* make...me…..
e: *doesn’t see him coming cus eyes are closed* shut…. up… stop… talking…
J: *steps closer* i said…...make….me
a/n: how fucking close are they now huh  uhh like 3 ft apart ok
e: *smells jakob cus he stinks and opens eyes* GET AWAY FROM ME
J: make me *smirks*
a/n: LMFAO THANKS i need to formulate a perfect response lemmet hink of course take all the time you need
e: what the fuck do you mean make me? i will launch u across this hallway wolf boy
J: do it then…..
e: *grabs him by the neck again and slings him*
J: *dies*
e: *notices.( a/n: sigh) spotlight… on …. edward… monoglogue: i-........i cant believe i fucking killed him again…. the pain is gone but… literally wtf….. i…. grrr. *edward looks into the distance, pondering. then silently goes to jacob.* i have to save him. *begins cpr and mouth to mouth breathing*  
J: *was never actually dead only pretending like romeo and juliet* *smirks*
a/n: I FUCKING KNEW IT LOL
e: *notices the smirk, then realizes he was alive the whole time* what the FUCK jacob? *slaps him across the face* you dirty bastard
a/n KALMASKDAOJDIJDOASOISO
J: so i guess you don't hate me that much huh?
e: *slaps him again* i thought you fucking died. i couldn’t let andrew discover a dead body in the hallway. and. and anyway i was going to eat you afterwards so yeah take that
J: yeah thats so believable…… just say you love me...i wont judge you *gay slur*
e: *is about to rage again* im literally. fucking straight. i love…. va-vgagag gaggaga *starts vomiting* WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT FROM ME
a/n IM CRYING HAHA
J: dude...its 2020...its ok to be gay...you don't have to pretend to be someone youre not,,,, i aceppt you
e: *once again, he can’t help but be attracted to jacob bc of the science i explained in the previous thing, stares depeply into jacob’s orbs* what… do… you… want… from …. me … u fucking… dog
J: *stares back into edwards orbs* i just….i just want you to be happy…
e: *looks away* i am… happy. away from you.
J: *looks away from edward looking away* if thats really how you feel…...fine...ill take the pain….
e: *once a fucking gain. spotlight. monologue* in all my 118 years…. ive caused so much pain and destruction… should i really put this on poor jacob’ why did i see children see i mean sayy omg on poor jacob’s shoulders. no i cant.* no. no. we can. stay together. *teeth clenched* for. the curse, of course. so. you don’t have pain. not that. i . like u.
a/n TEARS MAN WHY IS EDWARD A TSUNDERE I DONT KNOW
J: fine...for the curse….whatever helps you sleep at night..
e: *touches jacob’s shoulder (only cus theyre so close) and pushes him back* yeah. you can stay at. my house. i guess
a/n: (u have to say no so ed goes to jacobs werewolf hq)
J: no way i cant be around all those incesty vampires its creepy as fuck you come to my place
e: *gasp* what the fuck. youre literally a VAMPIRE too. i…. i dont wanna go to ur place…
J: physically im a vampire but mentally im still a wolf and i will not be around so many dead sister fuckers
e: ….. i don’t wanna be around u stinky werewolves…. Unless….no.
J: what man???
e: *is disgusted firstly, by werewolves, and the way jacob speaks so heterosexually irks him* nothing. can’t we, like. get a hotel room.
J: that might not be a bad idea…..but im poor remember
e: *facepalms then says annoyedly* fine. we’ll go to ur fucking wolf den. but u have to make it up to me.
J: ……...how?
e: *rolls eyes* i don;’t fucking know. u tell me. it better be good cus i will never get that werewolf smell off of me.
J: i mean…...we could like…..if youre down…….
e: *squints at him* what.
J: we could……..you know…. ..
e: *understands, slaps him across the face for millionth time poor jacob probably has permanent hand prints* EW.
J: like i don't want to because im not gay but id do it for you
e: … you know. i used to be able to read ur mind up until  a few weeks ago. so i do know what the fuck u thought of me…. what u thought—- *nearly vomits again*
J: but that was a long time ago...before we got close….now you made me straight
e: *extremely offended* what the fuck? you dont think im hot anymore?
J: why does it matter???? Youre not gay right
e: *hits him again* im not FUCKING gay. and it matters. b ecause, because,m because because because bcuae buse bcueacuab euacaubeucae BECAUSE. everyone thinks im hot. and if ur around him[edward] for the next month, u also need tot hink im hot.
a/n wtf is him oh of course a/n: edward is refering tohimself in third person
J: maybe if you were nicer to me id like you more...stop fucking hitting me and vomitting
a/n: lAMFPAOO,FP
e: *looks away in shame, then sighs shakily brings his cold vampirical hands to jacob’s bruised face* look. my hands. are so.. fucking cold they will heal ur bruies *doesnt look him in the eyes*
a/n HYDUHFUIEHWOIHOIDW
J: *doesnt make eye contact* thanks….i guess…
e: *keeps using vampircal cold hands to heal, then they accidentally make eye contact, edward looks away*
J: you don't have to look away…..
e: *glares back at him just to prove a point* fine.
J: *stares into edwards orbs with kindness and love* ……….
e: *stares back and recognizes what jacob is feeling, whispers* ur fucking gay
J: maybe…..but so are you…….
END
BREAKOUT ROOM ENDINGWHY THEY HAVE A COUNTDOWN. OK THIS SCENE ENDS HERE NEXT IS JACOB’S HOUSE ok it was really good today honestly excellent a/n are a perfect edditon  except im losing my ability to type and spell we at 3k words BRUH LMOAAOAOA i love us ok bye
dun dun dun dun (tear in my heart). LMAO listening to it oh good u start bruh its ur hosue
setting: jacob’s den thing, also we need to have my immortal descriptions
J: so make yourself at home i guess…..
e: *carrying black bag with mcr pins on it , looks around in disgust* ….. u live like this?
J: yeah man sorry im not rich like you are
e: *is definitely thinking something offensive towards native people but disguised as against werewolves as stephanie meyer always does* ok…. so where am i sleeping..
a/n HUIHBUFOEWGEUI did i lie  absolutely not
J;well like……...theres only one bed…
e: *mutters* could this get any more cliche. *notmutter* k. well im definitely not sleeping next to you. mind if i amazon prime a (whatever those fake small bed things are called)
J: if you want but theres not much room,,,,whatever,,,,,,*is disappointed*
e: *ignores jacob, typing on his phone to order the thing*
(Now Jacob’s family comes in I forgot their names but they’re here) billy is dad i think
J: oh hey guys this is edward he has to stay for a bit
Billy: *smells his ugly vampire smell* did you bring one of them….into my home????
edward: *visibly uncomfortable and surrounded by the werewolves, whispers to jacob* what the fuck… i didn’t know your whole pack was gonna be here…
J: *whispers back* this is our headquarters man….i didnt think theyd be so early thought *soeaks to fam* im sorry but a lot has happened….its necessary
a/n: k so im billy now? If u want
billy: *stares at edward for a while, assessing him.*
edward: …
billy: *sniffs him, then decides its ok* well then. if you say so jakey boy *claps edward on the shoulder* no biting ok?
edward: .
J: haha yeah….so were gonna go to my room now…..come on lets go
e: *glad to leave* yeah lets go right now
(The fam watches them go and its so awkward)
(in jacobs room)
J: so that was terrible but we’ll just stay up here as much as possible so that doesnt happen again
e: ugh that was so embarrassing… that was like when i introduced my ex gf to my family…. *realizes what he said* EW , not that WE are like that cus ewww gross *slaps jacob out of embarrassment*
a/n HAHAHAHAHA
J: *uncomfortable bc was slapped but also jealous of ex and sad ed don't like him like that* no man i get it….it happens all the time...cuz i bring so many chicks back here...not that we’re like that…..
e: yeah, obviously. *hand twitches in urge to slap him, but stops himself…. is upset because jacob brings back so many bitches and is jealous. so he goes to face the wall in anger* i need to ….. do./.. my chemistry homework
J: yeah whatever...i gotta do stuff too,,,,,im really busy….*looks down*
e: *is doing the chemistry homework standing up and super fast cus he’s been to high school for over 100 years, mutters* this is so easy ugh
J: why are you even in school anyways like you could be anywhere why do you want to learn the same shit over and over again
e: ………..Well if you woudl really like to know, it’s not the same thing over and over again. the school system has changed a lot since 1918 so it is actually pretty refreshing. i also like seeing how the trends change but are basically the same so yeah i do enjoy going to school, i don’t wanna work everyday because that’s different everyday plus school is easy for me and i get so many bitches cus im sexy.
J: yeah thats cool i guess *mad bc he gets so man bitches* but like if you get so many bitches...where are they???? Why do you hangout with me all the time???
e: *slaps jacob* BECAUSE IF WE ARENT CLOSE TOGETHER WE WILL FUCKING DIE DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE OR SOMETHING
J: THE CURSE DOESN’T STOP YOU FROM HAVING BITCHES THO…..ITS ALMOST LIKE UR A FUCKING LIAR
e: *gasps, backhand slap now* OF COURSE I HAVE BITCHES. DID YOU FORGET I CAN READ MINDS. EVEN TEACHERS WANT ME. AND I KNOW THAT YOU DID TOO, AT one ponitn… .gerkgorjgopjfpwjgwprjgpwojgwo *slaps jacob again so he can’t see that edward is blushing*
J: yeah i did like you…….*turns away so edward doesnt see him cry*
e: *not even looking in his direction cause he’s embarrassed* um. ….. *stomach growl*.... oh….
J: oh do you need some fucking blood or something
e: *disgusted that he is being perceived* ugh. im a vegetarian, so i need to…. go hunting… probably
(but they on sacred land or smthn)
J: first of all thats not what vegetarian means idiot and second of all you cant fucking hunt here its sacred and so are all the animals that live here….so  now what???
e: *rolls eyes and is for sure thinking racist things* ugh. lemme call alice maybe she can bring me some stored blood… *calls but there’s no service* what the FUCK…. i hate this place… lemme amazon prime some blood…
J: oh sorry you cant ubereats your fucking blood...and youre so addicted to your phone...maybe try living in the moment lke the rest of the world
e: *zones out for a second at the mention of ike aka the character someone in kelvin yo’s story plays in super smash bros, then jolts back to reality* i am living in the moment. you know whats happening in this moment? im fucking hungry bruh and i need blood. so u better get me some before i fucking start feeding and then ur dads gonna be mad
J: you. Cant. feed. Here. why is that so hard to understand….lets just fucking leave and you can go hunt or whatever
e: *eyes flash with anger and turn whatever the colour is when they are hungry* im. hungry. NOW. *starts doing whatever hungry vampires do like intense breathing*
J: dude…..calm down….*nervous*....we’ll get you some blood or whatever *backs into a wall*
e: don’t tell me to fucking calm down *supa hungry rn, then attacks jacob by slamming him OUT of the wall, yeah u read that right, the wall is broken now how sad* GIMME BLOODDDDDD *edward tries to bite jacob*
J: BRUH U BROKE MY FUKING HOUSE…..AND I DON'T HAVE BLOOD IM A FUCKING VAMPIRE TOO REMEBER??????? I CANT HELP U
e: *too hangry to hear him, bites into jacob’s neck with his fangs. out of his neck comes this disgusting sloshy black thing cus he no have blood* UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU TASTE DISGUSTING *spits it out onto the grass, then sees its black and calms down* waht the fuck………… *looks at broken wlal* huh….
J: oh are you back now???? Yeah i don't have fucking blood and you tried to kill me and my house….what the fuck man it always comes down to you killing me….i don't think i can do this anymore……
e: …….look. it’s not my fault. honestly you’re exaggerating things. i was hungry. i can’t help it and you should have known better than to be around me. and im still hungry. so.
J: wow so we’re victim blaming now????? No man i said i cant do this…..you never think about me
e: *rolls eyes uncomfortably, then notices jacob’s neck is still bleeding* well. im not. victim blaming. but. you’re still. bleeding. so  my vampircal saliva is actually. healing . u.m . proertries. so umeme asmdaosmdsomaodmw. let. me . help . uoi. iok omo kok
a/n you ok man? i told u im losing brain cels
J: how can i trust you????? Everytime i trust you i die…….
e: *rolls eyes and then puts his hand on jacob’s face (like his face not the side of it)* just let . me . do my. fucking job *licks him*
J: *flinches but gives in* youre so fucking gay...if you wanted to makeout you could have jjust said so...i would have said no tho
e: *slams jacob’s head into the ground so powerfully that there is a jacob shaped crater in the ground* IM FUCKING HEALING YOU. *the bite mark has healed, slams jacob into the ground again* YOU STUPID FUCK IM NOT GAY
J: *dies*
e: *mad, spits on the ground next to jacob* i know ur not fucking dead. ur a vampire and a werewolf for fucks sake. get up.
J: *still dead*
e: you can’t just use the dead card everytime u want me to be nice to you. cause i wont. i literally wont.
J: *just a fucking corpse*
e: *stares at his dead body for a bit.* jacob. get the fuck up.
J: *not alive*
e: *hears billy’s wheelchair coming up* spotlight monolgoeu: well fuck. i can’t let him see i just killed his son for the third time. fuckfuckfuck what can i do i don’t have time to hide the body so… so ….. ok well hes a corpse and im a corpse too so this won’t be that weird
BREAKOUT ROOM ENDNEDINDENIEI TO BE CONTINUED YEAH RIGHTAHHAHAHHA JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART  HOW EXCITING FOR TOMROW YES I CANNOT WAIT
*continuing edward monologue*
e: yeah … its totally not weird…. its cause i because because because because because because because because i need a cover thats why im doing totally not gay *kisses jacob*
(billy comes out from behind the house)
J: *obviously wasnt dead, wakes up, kisses edward back* oh hey dad
Billy: *supportive of his gay son* hey i thought i heard a fight *looks up* what the fuck happened to the wall
e: *sees jacob isn’t dead anymore, thinks that his kiss brought him back to life like in snow white, shocked* …….hhhh…….. wall?
J: sorry i don't know how that happened shits crazy ya know
Billy: *nods wisely* i do know…...well you boys have fun *leaves*
e: *stares at jacob in shock* …..do you….. remember… what happened before u died?
J: *does but wants to fuck with edward* wh….what? i…...i...d..died??????
e: *rolls eyes* yeah u fucking did. i brought u back though.
J: how…..???
e: ugh *hits him* obviously i just bit you to … bring u back.. to life….
J: so im already a vampire…...but now youve made me a double vampire??? Or does it cancel out and im human????
e: i dont fucking know. i— *remembers the curse and hopes jacob does not bring it up because the curse should double since jacob is double vampire* but don’t worry about the curse. obviosuyl .
J: oh does it double now that im a double vampire???
e: NO. and anyways. im still fucking hungry. so. be a good host and get me some mf food
J: yeah just let me check my fridge for some fucking blood…...idiot…..lets go somewhere so u can be a fake vegetarian
e: hmph. well let’s see if u can keep up. *runs away at vampire speed into the woods*
J: *turns into wolf and uses wolf and vampire speed and follows* awoooooooo
(the curse not acting up meaning theyre within 20m of each other)
e: *looks behind and sees jacob can keep up* slowpoke
ROB ENTERED MY CHAT YA SAME LOL ANYWAYS
J: who tf u callin slow *runs so fast that he almost next to edward*
e: *getting tired cus he is low on blood therefore energy* grrrrrrr
J: look we’re off sacred ground now go catch a deer or something
e: . im tired. u get something for me.
J: so now im ur personal chef?????? No get ur own shit
e: ive killed u three times already. dont make it a fourth.
J: *mumbles* whatever *leaves and smirks knowing he only actually died once* *gets a fucking deer or some
BREAKOUT ENDED????????? Ing WTF WHY WHO CARES LETS CONTINUE BRUH WHAT IS GOING ON DID U HEAR ERIC AND TINA THAT WAS SO AWKWARD I HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH LILY LTIERALY WHAT BURH i do npt ccare at all
k anyways continue
J; here take this eat up
a/n: god i forgot how fucking ugky tina’s voice is fucking right
e: *bites into the deer, drinking the blood and makes direct eye contact w jacob* nomnomnom
J: feel better now?
e: *disgusted and spits blood at jacob’s feet* nomnomnomnom
J: *looks away cuz this is gross* the shit i do for u……
e: *slurps disgustingly* nomnomnom nom nOMnomON griwjodk
a/n wait lets hope we together obviously no omfg these bitches are talking im not speaking to u im puttig yall on mute good
J: *vomits cuz the noises r gross* could u be a little more quiet?????
e: *puts down the deer* dont fucking vomit in front of me and my food
J: your food is so much more disgusting than my vomit
e: then don’t look at me. *keeps drinking*
J: *rolls eyes*......
e: nomnomnomnom… *puts down again* i said dont fucking look at me.
J: *says nothing but keeps looking*
e: *slurp* u want some then?
J: absolutely not
e: *rolls eyes* i know ur a carnivore, come here
J: nah i don't want that shit youve fuccking destroyed it its disgusting
e: *the deer isnt destroyed like literally one puncture, but edward gets mad at the accusation, so he rips off the backlegs of the deer* i know u want some *throws the legs at jacob*
(catch it with ur mouth PLS Like a wolf)
a/n LMAO like throw drink but then u swallow it all dark blue hell post  YES
J: *catches it with his mouth perfectly while making intense eye contact* …..
e: fucking mutt…. *goes back to drinking the blood* nomnomnomnomnom
J: *eats deer leg like it chicken wing* this shit isnt even good….
e: ur the one who hunted it.
J: whatever tommorow we going to mcdicks
e: what the fucks a mcdicks
J: bro…….youve never had a shit burger……..
e: why would i eat shit … in a burger…
J: of course your small mind could never understand….ugh
e: *spits blood in a perfect arch that lands right on jacobs shirt* dont call me small minded ever again
J: dude what the fuck…..and ill call u what i want
e: *finished drinking* no the fuck u won’t. *gestures to deer* u gonna eat my leftovers or what
J: i will not...and what the fuck r u gonna do about it???
e: do about what
J: me calling you small minded idiot
e: *slaps him* shut the fuck up
J: *turns the tables and slaps edward* it doesnt feel so good huh???
a’=./n: HAHAHAHHA
e: *holds his face in shock* WHHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT????????????? MY VAMPIRE HAND DOESNT HURT AS MUCH U FUCKING IDIOT
J: yeah ok but i slapped you once and youve slapped me at least a billion times so it adds up….funny how you can give it but not take it….weak…
e: *thinks about how he could say a few things about that last phrase but doesn’t* i’ve literally killed u so many fucking times *raises fist* i will do it again…..
J: *steps closer* do it then
e: why… the fuck … do you ALWAYS provoke me… kNOWING you will die? *pushes him back*
J: because i know you need an excuse to make out with me every once and awhile *smirks*
e: *gasp* WHAT THE FUFK? HOW DID U KNOW THAT *HITS HIM IN THE FACE*
J: bro you didnt think i was actually dead did you…...i thought you would have known better by now *still smirking*
e: *speechless and wishes he could use his mindpowers on jacob but it doesnt work* ………..
J: yeah so maybe you should try being nicer
e: absolutely not. once this month is over im moving to korea
BREAKOUT ROMM ENDINGNOOOOOOOO AKWAYDS WHEN IT GETS GOOD I KNOW RIGHT UGH ITS OK BUT YEAH THERE NEEDS TO BE AN EMOTIAONL CONNECTION SOON BEFOREMARRIAGE OH OF COURSE I CANT WAIT WE WILL WORK MORE TMRW NO SATUDAY MONDAY WOOOOWOOOO I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF THIS YESSSSSSS MONDAY OK HAHAHA
e: *continued* and im never speaking to u again.
J: yeah right you always say that shit…..but then you come crawling back
e: *rolls eyes* i’ve literally never done that. ur schizophrenia’s acting up because weve never had any fucking relationship before this……. i DONT LIKE YOU
J: uh huh but you always bring me back to life and make out with my corpse so what does that mean???
e: first of all, WE ARE BOTH CORPSES. so its not weird. second, i dont wanna get in trouble for killing a werewolf. so thats that. *turns away and starts walking back to the house but its the wrong direction*
J: yeah thats a likely story…….you know thats not the way home right…*smirks*
e: obviously ….. i was tricking u….. *goes the other way*
J: *rolls eyes and still smirks* so what do you wanna do when we get home
e: nothing *hes still going the wrong way but this time a different wrong*
J: well whatever….how long are you planning on going the wrong way before you ask me for help?
e: buddy.. this is the right way *shows map on phone*
(............ how can this be??????? ARE THEY IN a diffeernte realm)
a/n LMSOAAIOOAAO faerie realm
J: no i swear……..it……*turns in a circle confused* we definitely came from………
e: so what the fucks going on? is this one of ur stupid pranks bc ur native or whatever
J: can you stop being racist for two seconds this is weird….whatever maybe i messed up….lets just follow your phone…
(they follow the directions on the phone but they find that theyre just going in circles eneding up back to the dead dear…. a strange mist is rising*
e: uh…………….. what the fucks going on……….
J: uhhhhhh…….this has never happened before…...what the fuck do we do,....
e: wait. do u hear that……..
(from in the mist they hear something coming……………. its this really hot woman coming out, her name……. bella swan)
bella: …… *in sexy voice* hello boys
a/n GYDSUFGEYORGFBOREW
J: uh…..who the fuck are you….
b: *tosses her head back and laughs, long luscious dark locks of dark of hair of brown falling behind her, then opens her blue? brown? idk her orb colour and stares at them…. she notices edward’s extremely strong gay aura so doesnt go to him. looks at jacob* im bella. bella swan…. youre in my swamp….
J: ok…...but we’re lost...so could you help us out….?
e: *uncomfotable.*
bela: hahhahahah… of course…. *walks up to jacob and touches his face* but the thing is….. humans who come into my territory….. must …… how tf do i say this….. they need to gift me something…. or else u are cursed to work as my servant forever.
J: well we’re not human...hes a vampire and im half werewolf half double vampire…..so that wont apply to us right??
b: *gasps*..... HAHAHAHAHAHHA…… you truly don’t know who i am? bella swan (shes part swan ig) collects HALF WEREWOLF HALF DOUBLE VAMPIRE boys……. jacob….. *licks lips* you will be my prize
e: hhhhhhhhhh
J: so like….if i fuck you….can you tell us how to get home??
bella: *slaps him across the face in the same way that edward does* FUCK ME? hahahahha you’re fucking stupid. i knew it. all of u are. i don’t want u like that buddy, i need to use ur dna to make skins. *grabs him and tries to bring him into the mist*
e: wait…. u can’t
bella: y?
e: um……. bc….
J: *is kind of turned on bc bella slapped him like edward and pavlovs dogs ya know* ……….
e: *was about to say to bella that she cant take jacob, but then realizes he has no say in what jacob can or can’t do…. plus… jacob looks really happy with bella….. but still…. he can’t just let jacob get fucking killed again… even if he’s into it* um. bella. maybe? um u could take me as well?
b: no ur fucking gay i don’t want u. jacob wants to come w me , right jakey? (how does she know his name?)
J: *dream like* yeah…….wait…...did i tell you my name?
bella: *eyes widening in delight* NOOOOOO YOU DIDNT!!!!! LUCKY GUESS!!!!! NOW THAT I KNOW UR NAME……. *turns to edward* u know what happens when fairies know ur name right? *smirks* e
e: *also kind of into that smirk bc pavlovian response* wait… no… JACOB U IDIOT
bella: i feel some homosexual tension between yall …. how about this *curses jacob so that he is like idk evil and will kill edward so then bella wont have to fight him and then can kill jacob le8ter*
J: *eyes rolll back into head like tik tok boy* *lunges at edward* ……
(famous last words by mcr starts playing straight from bella’s mouth for some background music) a/n YESSSSSS
e: *dodges jacob* JACOB. STOP SNAP OUT OF IT
J: …………*jumps at edward again*
e: *barely dodges his snapping jaws*
(in the background …….but can I SPEAK is it hard understanding…….. im incompletel)
e: BNELLA STOP PLEASEEEE
J: *keeps jumping at edward with impossible amounts of force and energy* ……
(a love that’s so demanding…………. IEIODAIOJEWIOADJIOA WHWYY cann ii get WEAKK!!!! I AM NOT AFRAID OFtikwpoerkwopk)
e: *doesn’t want to use force to stop jaconn, but he’s forced to* jacob *does the thing whjere girls try to stop the guy from fighting* jacob its me! stop!!!!!!!!
bella: omg so cringe stop pls
J: *stops for a second but then goes back to fighting* ……
(awake and unafraid asleep)
e: *gets scratched by his werewolf claws, stares at the blood then gets mad* JACOB U STUPID FUCKING MUTT LOOK WHAT U DID TO MY PERFECT SKIN *restrains him with both arms*
J: *when yelled at fully stops but then shakes head and goes back to rage* …..
b: *notices that jacob stopped* omg… wtf *curses him stronger*
e: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
(the song is now… hmmm….. u decide… nanananananaanana LOL ok)
J: *goes at edward so hard knocks him over*........
e: hmmmm,......  jacob i don’t wanna fight u STOP
(na na na na so many security sto every enemy)
J: *stops for half a second blink and youll miss it but then goes back with even more anger*..
e: *thinking: wtf i do’? i cant fight bella to stop him cus then itll be 2 v 1 ./../….///.. .wait…. * *remmebres jacob;’s expression when bella slapped him,..... what if i…. what if* (jacob comes at him again but edward waits UNTIL he is close enough adn then slaps him across the face extremely hard that like he slams into a tree behind him* U STUPID FUCKING DOG
j:  *slides down tree and colapses on the ground….almost unconsiodusio* …….e…..edward….
(na na na is over and fades slowly bc  bella closes her mouth)
b: waht the fucking fukc did u fucking do u stupid sparkly gay boy????///// THAT WAS MY NEXT SKIN
e: *ignores her and goes to jacob* jacob…… r u ok…
J: *opens eyes slowly* ye….yeah…..i *inhales sharply bc pain or smth* im good…..
e: *checks him for wounds*
bella: *comes up behind edward and grabs him by the head then yeets him backwards* I SAID THATS MY SKIN STAY AWAY FROM him
J: EDWARD *tries to get up to fight her but stumbles*
b: stay down. that’s an order u dog
e: *comes back running* NYAHHHHHHHH
(bela and edward engage in a super epic battle u can imagine it however u want ok…..)
J: ………..
(they r far away enough that jacob can’t hear them….)
b: bro why r u fighting so hard to save ur friend or is that even a friend
e: *blushes* bro not right now
b: no seriously
e: …..
b: *thinking oh….* ew so yall r like that?
e: ….
b: *sigh* fine… u can have him… but under one condition
(what is this condition lemme think)
b: welcome to paradise…. dun dun dun dundu ndund a gunshot rings at the station………… ok i found it: u owe me ur firstborn child
e: ok (?)
(that’s how bella gets renesmee u decide how that happens)
e: *goes back to jacob* helo
J: are you ok…….what went down??????
e: nothing we totally didnt like f u ck or anything wtf why would u even ask that
J: *thinks wtf did they fuck….get kinda jealoudssss* oh…...so can we leave??
(the mist rises)
e: ok…. can you even walk?
J: yeah im fine *tries to stand but winces and leans against tree*
e: *is worried, but rolls eyes anyway* le,me call an uber
BREKAOUT ROOOM OVER NONOOOOOOOO ITS OK WE FINISHED THIS ARC TODAY WAS SO GOOD ABSOLUTELY BRILLAITN AS USUAL WE ARE AT 840 PERIODS LMAOAAAOOOO GOOD UGH HOW AMAZING IM EXCITED TO REREAD IT TOMOROW YESSS ME FUCKING TOO GAHAHAH
a/n Are they waiting for the uber or at home alreafy? first of all, use a/n, second up to u
(jacobs room)
J: ok im fine stop worrying  
(the whole werewolf clan is surrounding jacob who is lying on his bed, edward is standing facing the corner awkwardly and covering his nose)
biylly: No son. you were attacked by some fucking fairyand  i dont mean him *points to edward* like this is serious shit…. we should call a doctor… but who….
e: *quietly*……. i know… a doctor
a/n laksaodjjefiureyueryhu
J: who…….
e: *turns to face the gang, wich includes seth who i thnk is sexy* um……. carlisle…
J: wait your dad….leader of your incest clan….went to med school???
e: *hand twitches wanting to slap him, but can’t do so in front of his family, so restrains himself* ahem. yes. and we’re not an incest clan.
Billy: i aint bringing you to no vampire doctor we have to find someone else
J: no…..its ok…..i don't even need a doctor….
seth: *is a niner* dude… ur not even okl…. (what were his injuries again?) ur like body is like broken in multiple places…. but. *glares at edward* we can’t have more of Them in here……
e: *rolls eyes at seth* so what the fuck do u propose we do huh niner
seth: ……………… well if u really wanna know, i took grade 9 biology and also first aid….. i’m basically a doctor
a/n i really forget what happened to jacob but lets pretend hes basically dying (when isnt he)
J: uh no thanks seth…..really guys im ok….ive had worse….at least im alive…….
e: *still wants to slap him so bad but cant so instead slaps himself*
billy: wtf… *back to jacob* listen son. ur literally fukcing dying *gets emotional now* ….. we need to do something… *looks at seth* son… *(seth isn’t his son?) will u treat him?
seth: *smirks* ya of course billy…. *turns to jacob* listen ….. we can’t have u dying here…. us alphas need to look out for each other.
J; uhhhhhhhhh well like im kind of more beta…….but…...are you sure you know what youre doing????
billy: JACOB (does he have  a middle name) BLACK NEVER CALL URSELF A BETA EVER A FUCKING GAIN THE BLAHJBLAHBLAH TRIBE HAS BLAHDDBASBDOISDHIAOSJDIASJAJ …..
seth: yea h jacob ur definitely an a**a wtf ok . so first i need to see ur injuries…. where r u hurt?
J: basically everywhere…..she kind of fucked me up….but its cool
e: *still doesn’t know what to do so goes back to facing the wall*
seth: okay well… im gonna need u to like… ahem…. u know…. .disrobe…
J: oh...yeahok….*glances at edward who is still facing the wall**starts to take off shirt revealing 12 pack abs*
a;/n: lMFAO
(collective gasp as they see jacob’s injuries)
e: *begins slamming his head into the wall*
billy: oh my god son. …… this is horrible
seth: alright uhhhhhhhh *is overwhelmed* um …. ,... well u have… um ….  ur bleeding… and ur ribs are briken… so i gusss…… polysporin? edward can u pass it to me
e: *still staring at the wall* no
J: dude why are you always so difficult….plus after seth heals me hes gonna have to check you for a concussionos…..wtf r u doing????
e: *rolls eyes and turns around, but hes hit his head on the wall so hard that blood is dripping from his head into his eyes, blinding him (da blood from da dear ofc* he doesn’t need to fucking heal me. and i’ll get the polysporin. where is it?
J: in the bathroom i think…...down the hall to the left…
e: *goes to get it, blindly obviously and yeah he got it* *hands the polysporin to who he thinks is seth but he can’t actually see who he’s handing it to*
J: man are you ok??? Like maybe sit down for a bit…...thats not seth thats my dad
e: *angirly moves so hes handing it to seth, but in the process slaps seth in the face maybe not so accidentlly*
s: OH my fucking GOd  *mutters* i fucking hate vampires stupid fucks *begins putting polysporin on jacob*
J: uhhhhh is this gonna work…..like my ribs are broken...maybe we should call edwards dad….*looks down knowing they gonna be mad at the idea*
e: *has reverted to sitting in the corner staring at the wall blindly so not actually staring ig*
billy: shut the fuck up jacob. seth is doing an awesome job. looks better already kid
seth: *smirks, looking in edward’s direction* yeah im doing awesome
J: but like…….whatever….if youre done leave edward and i alone for a second…
seth: *finishes bandagnig jacob up* ok. .. but if u need anything… .anythng,... just call ok buddy?
billy: *leaves*
J: so i think i need a real doctor now
s: no u don’t im all u need *leaves*
J: i definitely need a real doctor now…..can you call your dad?
e: he’s not my dad…. and i cant.
J: bruh why not u said u would earlier
e: *can’t really remember due to insane brain damage* uh…… well he’s in italy now. so . ……….. i mean… yeah.
J: dude come here let me see your head
e: no
J: not in a gay way in a im actually worried about your health way
e: *doesn’t actually know where he is in the room bc he refuses to wipe the blood from his eyes* um………………. fine….. *starts walking then trips on jacob’s textbook* wtf….
J: come here sit down *reaches over and grabs his arm guiding him to the bed* here dumbass *wipes blood away from his eyes* does it hurt really bad??
e: *flatly* im a vampire . nothing hurts me. *looks at his bandagings * what the fuck did he do. *rolls eyes* this is unacceptable… *under his breath* stupid dumb fucking niner idiot who fcuckgirn ais trying to one up me i kwjeoijfdoijdeow grrr
J: sorry i didnt hear that last part whats up?
e: oh my god just stfu and *tyler tehecreator voice* elt me do what i need to fucking do *violently rips his bandages off* lemme do it properly because carlisle is in….. china… like i siad
J: uh you said he was in like france or something...also this fucking hurts can you stop being so angry???
e: *no reply. begins piecing his ribs back together w surgical tools he pulled from his pocket* dont move
J: yeah whatever…...why do you have all this shit….nerd…
e: *bc jacob’s ribs were literally sepeareted from what is it called in the centre of the ribs forgot, but his heart is exposed* stfu…. why is ur heart still beating……. *grabs his beating heart*
J: bro what the fuck….don't do that whats wrong with you….maybe bc im still half werewolf???? idk…
e: *eyes change colour….. he goes very still*
(they are both covered in jacob;s blood)
J: uhhhhhhhh edward…..youre scaring me man…...maybe you should go...or just say something please…
e: * eyes r still that whatever colour, but goes back to work silently, and releases the heart* ………………………….. *finishes and starts sewing the skin back up, then looks jacob in the eyes* u rlly should stop begging me bruh,........ it onlymakes me hungrier
J: oh uuhhhhhh sorry????
e: *bandages are finished, assess his work….* ugh finally ur better…… *slaps him* ive been waiting to do that
J: dude wtf…..why are you like this
e: ………….. well i need to do my english project if u don’t mind *goes to face the wall and closes his eyes*..... ……… …
J: you know you can like sit down right…..you don't have to stand t=in the corner
e: *sighs audibly then moves backwards with his eyes still closed and sits on the corner of jacob’s bed but he’s basically just hovering over it*
J: youre so fucking dramatic….youre stuck with me for like two weeks or something so you should probably get used to being around me
e: *opens his eyes and glares at jacob* it’s one month first of all. and i don’t want to get used to you. you fucking stink and ur covered in blood.
J: *smirks* i thouht you liked blood...and you smell like shit too you know
BREAKOUIT ROROM ENDINGUIRNGTRIGNT NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK UAK WHATS COMING NEXT EW IT WAS ME AND ROB FOR A SECOND EW OMG BRO WE BE WRITING 1K WORDS PER DAY BRUHHHHH OUR FIUCKING POWER ITS SO AMAZING
e: *smells himself* no i dont’ smell like i shit
J: *smirks* you do to me...ugly vampire smell
e: you really should respect me more…. im the one who fixed ur fucking ribs not like seth who used fucking POLYSPORIN
J: its ok….you don't need to be jealous of seth…..i don't like him like that
e: what the fuck>>??? im not jealous of him i literally never said that…… isn’t he ur fucking brother?
a/n hes not lmao edward doesn tknow that
J: wtf????? U thot he was my brother???? Not all native american werewolves are related asshole
e: yall arent….. then why tf are yall in the same tribe huh riddle me that
J: i……...we….how do you think tribes work?????
e: u tell me
a/n I GOT JUMPSCARED BY ROBS VOICE SO HARD LMAO  LOL CAN HE STFU IDC AT ALL ME TOO YALL SHUT UP i straight up dont care this sucksnot interested in yalls feedback for us stfu with the “no one is left out” GUESS WHAT U WILL BE LEFT OUT IN LIFE THATS HOW IT IS ESPECIALLY IF UR FUCKING UGLY LIKE SOME OF YALL stfu with math bulshit 6 is divided by 4 simply will it to be TINA STFU LOL YES HAHAHA we will excluse ourselves “andie doesnt count” how dare u sigh there is no feedback they could possibly give us LMAO RIGHT ugh fuck this and i don't need yall yall can be a group if u wanna we always do anyways yall back to work stfu
J: we….just like hangout…...we aren’t related…….at all……
e: ……….oh……………………………………. well i had no idea thats how tribes work
J: you could have just asked…..
e: *doesn’t reply and goes back to work on his english project*
J: *rolls eyes* youre so fucking lame can u not be a nerd for 5 minutes???
e: *throws pencil like a dart and it sticks in jacobs forehead* LITERALLY WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO HUH. I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE HERE. BUT WE CANT GO OUTSIDE CUS ITS NIGHT (flashbacK: andrew’s curfew for who fucking knows why)
J: *dies*
e: *rolls eyes* i literally know ur not dead cus the curse is still on
J: *still dead*
e: *sighs* ……. * thinks about fall out boy specifically how whats his name never eununciates anything* helloooooooooooooo wake tf up ugly
J: *dead*
e: this aint a scene its a godamn ahms rahce , like why does he say it like that
J: idk man but its a banger tho
e: disagree its so fcuking annoinyg. ahms rahce ahms ahms and like when he says down he doesnt even say down its like dawhhhh
J: i mean yeah but its a classic….and his voice….iconic….
e: *shrugs* yeah ur right…. you know………………. back in the 60s i used to be in a band…
J: oh shit deadasss? Were yall any good????
e: *slaps his uninjured leg* obvioisl;y we were fucking good…. we were really popular too…. *sigh* i had so many bitches
J: *mad kind of bc bitches* well if u were so popular would i know any of your songs??? What was the band called???
e: ……….well ….. *pulls out guitar and drum kit and like every instrument and begins playing them* it goes alittle like this….. here comes the sun dododododood here comes the sun … .
a/n IM CRYING
J: wtf that shits sucks….ive literally never heard that before
e: *rolls eyes* obviously it sucks now , but back in the segragation days,,,,,,, this shit was spectuacualr.. ….. and btw, this is the BEATLES … which by the way,,,,,, i was in
J: wtf i have never heard of yall….u named ur band after a bug thats so weird…..ur shit is trash man
e: *slaps him but this time on the face* shtut he fuck up and stop talking shit about my band… ive literally never seen u do anything of worth in ur what…. how fucking old are u,.... like 16 years of life
J: i get so many bitches u would not believe
e: *rolsl eyes* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL……. u know i can read everyone’s minds right? everyone  and i mean everyone wants me at school….. like no one is thinking about u
J: *angry* maybe thats true but they only want u bc they think ur hot….if they actually got to know u no one and i mean no one would ever even look at you….youre disgusting and terrible and honestly not even that hot up close
e: *rolls eyes* listen old sport =..... when ur my age…. and also immortal… and sexy….. relationships with humans dont fucking matter. i dont need them to like me, cus guess what ? they re gonna fucking die anyways or ill proabbly eat them… they just need to think im hot. and by the way, i am fucking hot up close….. *tilts his head to remind jacob of their first talking or whatever encounter at edward’s house…….*
J: *angerily silent*.......
e: *starts laughing* like……..  i didnt even do anything and u were like….. .ahahahhahahahahhahahah
J; *still silent* …………………….
(momentarily silence, until edward notices his hands are still really bloody… )
e: *to himself* ugh…. this is gross……. *starts licking the blood off his hands* mmmmm
J: *makes disgusted face but still doesnt say anything*........
e: *finishes cleaning his hands and wipes it on jacob’s sheets* hmmm….. *checks phone* holy shit my amazon order is here…..
J: *mumbles* go get it then……
e: *goes to the downstairs or whatever and it should be ok bc its within like 20m but as soon as he gets to jacob’s door they both feel intense pain* wtf……… im not….. even…… 20m…. away …. from u ….
J: …...stupid….double….vampire...shit…..
e: ….. *comes closer to esase the pain* ugh…. im so…. fukcing… mad… u sfuckign idit…… *punches hole in jacob’s wall.* …. ok u need to come with me downstairs so i can get my package
J: i literally cant fucking walk selfish idiot
e: grrr.r…… i need…. my mf.../.. amazon prime bed thing……… fine…. *throws jacob over his shoulder* u dont need to walk
J: ahhhh wtf...ur so fucking weird...this is gay man
e: its literally not so stfu *goes downstairs to get his package*
(billy and other wolf members: :|
J: what the fuck is wrong with u u could have gotten someone to bring it p for u wtf
e: *rolls eyes and bends to get the package* …. i have amazon prime^2,,,,,, the package will explode if it doesnt recognize my fingerprint *scans his fingerprint* and my eyeball *scans eyeball and gets package to go upstairs*
J: i hate rich people so fucking much what is wrong with you
e: *throws jacob back onto his bed and rips open the package with his vampire teeth* fuckign finally
J: ok can we get some fucking sleep now???? This day has been way too much
e: *looks him up and down* yeah for u maybe…. vampires dont even need sleep *sets up bed, its literally huge and takes up most of jacobs room*
J: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A BED FOR THEN?????????
e: *slaps him* stop fuckign questioning me…. i need it to relax in…. and watch tik toks…
J: what the fuck….you know what i don't care…..good fucking night….
e: *doesn’t reply and gets settled in his huge bed and opens tik tok and watches them at high volume no headphones*
J: BRUH CAN U GET SOME FUCKING HEADPHONES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU e: *looks up to jacob across the room* i forgot them at home… holdup lkemme amazon prime some new ones
J: bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just like turn the volume down
e: *exhales through nose at a funny tiktok and doesn’t hear jacob*
J: what. the . fuck. *puts pillow over head and tried to sleep*
e: *is now standing on his bed attempting to learn a tik tok dance but hes super tall so his head keeps slamming against the ceiling* renegade rengage
BREAKOUT ROROMRM ENDEIDN STOP NMITERUPTTING MY FUCKING SETENCE I KNOW LOL DID BUT THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYnegade reennegadge
Sorry bro ok bye
(now is morning)
e: *been watching tik toks all night long*
J: *has not slept at all* bruhhhhhhhhhh
e: *has learned every dance possible, now is 2nd after charli damelio in popularity* stfu im working
J: i cant do this…….we need to figure something else out…….
e: *puts his phone downe for the first time in hours* *sighs* …….. jacob,.... u need to understand this…… *sad music begins to play, lights down, spotlight on edward* *ewdward looks out the window wistfully* im….. im a father  now jacob….. i dont have time to “figure things out”...... fatherhood was thrown into my life….
J: wtf…….u r literallykt not in ur childs life at al…...do u even pay child support…..rich bitch…...ur not a father…...u just fucked a girl…….
e: *rolls eyes* first of all, she’s half vamp half faerie like she literally doesnt need money to livem, second that wasn’t just any girl that was bella swan………. i feel terribly guilty jacob,...... i should be in rmeumememeueneneseeeses’s life
J: bruh…...so ur like in love with bella now????? And wtf…….what r u gonna do raise her now???? Nah i don wanna be part of this
e: dude… im not in love with her… it’s just my duty as a father………. And who said ur gonna be a part of this? ……… *thinks* maybe i should get married to her?
J: u literally just said she don't need u so why u acting different???? Also im gonna have to be a part of this bc we cannot be more than 10m apart idiot
e: that’s literally temporary………………………………..
J: oh so ur just gonna wait til this is over….shes gonna hate u
e: *slaps him* u don’t know that…… plus it’ll be a good way to pass a couple centuries…..
J: bro but i DO know that….my mom left us or died or sometihng…..and like….if she came back into my life now….id hate her……
e: yeah but ur a fucking werewofl us vampires and feareires dont think like that….. why are u so against this?
J: honestly do whatever u want……...ill be fine as long as youre away from me……
e: well…….. good… glad we’re on the same page *goes back to his bed to watch tiktoks*
J: *sighs and lies on bed staring at the ceiling* *thinks* this is probably a good thing….edward has brought me nothing but pain….
e: *doesn’t scroll on the tiktok whe’s watching so the sound keeps playing over and over again and hes thinking……: why….. do i feel so guilty? i thought it was about renesueme but…………... *out loud* uh. /…… .were we supposed to um go to mclonad’s or something?
J:.......oh yeah….i guess…..if you wanted to….
e: *suddenly annoyed* it was ur fucking idea to go……….
J: bro whatever chill…..lets go then….
e: ok……. like we dont have to go if u dont want to…. its just u mentioned it…..
J: no like we can go….anythings better than hunting with u….
e: ok but do you want to go or u just saying that cus then its a fucking waste of time
J: OH MY GOD LETS JUST GO
e: *slaps him* dont use that attitude with me ,...... u fucking dog
J: *rolls eyes* what the fuck ever…..ur driving
e: i didn’t bring my car with me stupid…….
J: well what the fuck r we gonna do then?????????
e: …… dont u have a car or smthn……. or we could run there
J: im poor remember????? And im also still injured>>>so like wtf now
e: (flashback: new moon, jacob literally has a motorcycle) …./…. dont u have a motorcycle or a truck helllooooooooo
J: ur so fucking insensitive…….we had to sell those to buy groceries…….fuck you…..
e: *under his breath* i guess no sharing motorcycle drivigng…. *sigh* ok uber eatss?
J: yeah whatever…….oh wait….seth has a motorcycle i think….maybe we could ask to borrow it…..
e: *annnoyed* ew…. i dont wanna use seth’s motorcycle……
J: bruhhhhhhhhh y r  u always so fucking difficult
e: im not difficult bruh
J: u fucking r
e: fine. use fuckings seth’s motorycycle from him hes ugly anyway
J: alright sick
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teddy-feathers · 5 years
Text
look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'
but here are some thoughts
Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities
metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does
roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out
its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)
i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability
Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....
but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is
she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever
got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was
Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....
Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way
the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too
but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday
and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview
and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.
and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.
and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman
so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when
and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit
and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?
so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman
and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten
minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would
metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?
they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?
and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy
and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out
something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure
"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"
"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"
"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"
and megamind does a huge public apology to minion
and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go
the blue people start making amends
metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal
Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this
until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting
the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations
anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?
the answer is hell yeah
and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve
megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him
Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids
of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it
minion and his race need a real name obviously
when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.
they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere
this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times
a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)
metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life
eventually space humans show up to check the place out
megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it
roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?
for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.
they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?
metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune
megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes
minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.
one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug
it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first
apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them
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shikastemari · 6 years
Text
spy - n. u.
pairing naruto uzumaki x yamanaka!reader
request
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word count 4,895
when it happens after Pain destroyed the Village
warnings THE ANGSTIEST SHIT I’VE WRITTEN IN MY LIFE
a/n this is actually one of the first stories i’ve ever thought about. i wrote it months ago but just now i decided to give it a chance and post it and yeah, i gor a little carried away while writing it.
btw i’m witnessing the biggest writer’s block i’ve been through and that’s why i haven’t posted anything lately. hopefully it’ll be gone soon enough and i’ll be back to write as easily as i used to.
masterlist on my profile bio
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Naruto Uzumaki.
The first time you heard his name was in one of your missions. You were spying some old guy who was owing bad people money, and you had heard Naruto's story by accident. The guy who defeated the leader of the Akatsuki all by himself, even someone as the legendary Sannin Jiraiya couldn't. During the time, you have heard a lot of girls sigh in desire for the boy, as also heard a lot of man being inspired by him - to become even stronger than people said he was.
So, when you finished your mission, it was no surprise for you someone decided to hire you to dig some dirty on Naruto. You have never accepted a mission on Konoha before, keeping your boundaries up since you know your uncle and his family still lived there, and you would never do anything to hurt your blood. But the offer was too good to decline.
Last time you have seen your uncle and cousin, you were six. Your mother was a foreign and her pregnancy had so many complications. The day you were born, she made a promise, she would take you back to her country, to become a ninja there. Your father, the brother of the Yamanaka clan leader, was madly in love with her and never said a single no at her direction. When the time came, not only he didn't fight against your mother taking you away, as he decided to leave the village himself. Uncle Inoichi helped him, knowing it was the only thing he could do to help his brother achieve happiness, but in the process, your father ended up being labeled as a rogue ninja.
The Bamboo Village was a nice place to live, and your parents were always happy there, even though you missed your old life and family deeply. You had a cousin, who also had the same age as you, so you two had grown up together and she was basically a sister to you. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing you wish you had encountered in your life, but it wasn't.
Your mother died a year after you moved country. Her disease was unknown, the doctors said they couldn't do anything but to ease her pain until the time comes. That was what you and your father did. Took care of her, stood by her side, until she was gone. To these days, you still missed her deeply. As honoring your mother wishes, you and your father didn't go back to Konoha after her death. Instead, your father taught you everything he could about the family jutsus, and it made your heart melt every time he told you how good you could become. Maybe better than him. Or even Uncle Inoichi.
He passed away five years after that, on a battle against the Land of Lightning. Even though you wanted to stay in Bamboo Village, you knew you wouldn't survive there. So that when you started to use your jutsus in espionage. You went city from city, village from village, country from country, learning from the best. The requests came right after. In your line of work, you kept your name hidden. You didn't want to drag the Yamanaka name to the mud, or even give something to your enemy to use as an advantage against you, wishing you could always keep your reminiscent family safe.
So, when your feet took you back to Konoha's, you couldn't help but feel sick. Regret and worry filled your whole body, since you counted with your family accepting you with open arms, but you knew it was a shot in the dark. Since Pain's attack which destroyed the entire village, you didn't exactly know where the Yamanaka clan was staying, so you followed your plan and walked around the village, asking if someone knew where Ino Yamanaka was.
It didn't take long, actually. Apparently, she was a recognized and respected kunoichi and you couldn't stop feeling a little jealous. What would they think about me if I have stayed? The thought flooding your head as you walked towards the place a girl told you Ino would be.
She was sitting on a pile of wood, with seven ninjas surrounding her. They were laughing and talking about how stupid what someone named Rock Lee have done to an old lady. When your eyes laid on her, you felt your heart skipping a beat. She looked exactly like before, the only thing which was different was her hair, it was so long.
A guy with the Byakugan was the first to notice you, which didn't actually surprise you at all. You have heard about what those eyes could do. Looking around them, you could see there was also a girl who could use it. This group look like they would be a pain in your ass if you didn't pay close attention at them.
"Can we help you?" A pink haired girl asked, and your eyes widened for a second. That was Sakura? No way.
As your eyes passed through their faces, you started to recognize some of them. Shikamaru was standing next to Ino, with Choji by his side. You also recognized Kiba, who you remember having an innocent crush on, because of Akamaru, which was huge now. Your heart was literally shrinking inside you by that view, already pondering the pros and cons about ignoring the mission you had been given. But you could not give up now, there was too much involved.
"Staring is creepy, have your family never taught you that?" Ino questioned, her eyes narrowed at you.
You shook your head, smiling. "You would know, Ino-nee-chan, still a bitch, I see?"
Ino's eyes popped up as she gasped, taking her hands to cover her mouth. Everyone else were just shocked by the way you talked to her, but you were sure she recognized you. Once she got up from the wood she was sitting and ran in your direction, giving you one hell of a tight hug, you felt your body relax for the first time in a long time.
"Nee-chan!" she said between the tears, it took every strength in your body not to do the same. It was still a mission, the hardest one you have been to, but still a mission. "I thought I would never see you again!"
"Wait, is that y/n-chan?" Kiba asked out loud. "Holy shit, you got hot!"
Ino and you laughed as Sakura punched the poor guy, sending him meters away from where he originally was standing. So, Sakura had a monstrous strength, just like you heard Tsunade-sama having.
"Daddy will be so happy when he sees you! Where is y/f/n-ojisan? I've missed him so bad too!" she exclaimed.
You swallowed hard, knowing too well there was no way to dodge this moment. "Mhm," you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. "My dad died when I was 12, during a battle."
"Oh," she said, the air getting heavier around you. "And why you haven't contacted us after that, y/n-nee-chan?" she asked, her tone clearly hurt. "We could have helped you."
Another question you predicted. "I tried to honor my mother's wish for as long as I could but..." you trailed off, breathing deeply to keep going. "I just wanted to be with my family again."
She hugged you again, crying her eyes out. Shikamaru came closer and pushed the girl from you.
"Ino, what a drag, let her breathe for a second," Shikamaru eyed you, from head to toe. You remember him being very - very­ - smart when you were kids. His eyes stopped on your lips, and you noticed his cheek blushing. Pressing your lips together to repress a smile, you couldn't push away the memory of you accidentally kissing him while playing one of Ino's idiot games. It was your first kiss, and probably his too. "Eh, welcome back, y/n-chan," he scratched the back of his head.
"Thank you, Shikamaru-kun," you grinned back at him as you were wrapped in someone's arms.
"Y/N-CHAN, YOU WERE DEEPLY MISSED!" Choji screamed as he hugged you, a little stronger than you wish, the air escaping from your lungs.
"Choji, I can't breat-" you said, but it seemed more like a whisper. Happily, he understood and let you go, being embarrassed.
"Sorry, I jus-" you caught him off guard wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He smiled, hugging you back, but this time, not as strong as before.
"Ino-Shika-Cho," you said, looking at the three of them once Choji put you on the ground. "I certainly missed this formation."
"So, who is this girl?" A blond guy said from behind them. His blue eyes were locked on yours and you could see a little bit of distrust there.
"This is y/n, Naruto, Ino's cousin," Sakura answered, walking towards you to embrace you. "Getting on Ino's nerves were never the same after you left."
"Well, we did know how to do it, right?" you smiled at her, but your eyes were still locked on Naruto's. There was your target, right in front of you. You kept talking and catching up with your old friends, as well getting to know the others you didn't. The boy with the Byakugan was called Neji, and the girl Hinata. Apparently, they were cousins. There was also Rock Lee, Tenten and Shino - who you slightly remember running away from when you were little because of his insects.
Ino grabbed your hand, saying you two had to go. The first part of your plan was going good so far, but you couldn't stop feeling like shit the whole time. You knew you had to shake those feelings away, or you wouldn't be able to see your uncle Inoichi. He surely wouldn't trust you at first, and would search for something suspicious as talking. Your father always said he was by far the best Yamanaka shinobi that ever existed.
Well, you were about to prove him wrong.
As expected, Inoichi didn't recognized you. Once Ino said who you were, his eyes almost popped out from his face in shook, it was a good thing for you, strong emotions were used to prejudice the jutsu. He asked you a million questions, and you were honest in all of them, because you were sure he would enter in your head soon or later. Even that he seemed happy to see you, you could see he was holding himself back to ask you to see inside your head, and not because of you, but because of Ino.
So, once she was asleep on her bedroom, you went to find him on the kitchen. You knew he would be expecting the right moment to tell you, and what moment was better than late at night?
"Go ahead," you told him.
He pressed his palm gently against your head as he began to scour your mind. You made sure the first images he was going to see was you playing with Ino as children, you leaving the village with your parents. He also saw your mom dying, how miserable your dad was but his strength and love for you keeping him on track, your trainings - but not all of them -, the days he mentioned and talked about Inoichi and Ino, the times he wanted to give up everything to come back to them but he couldn't because he wanted to honor your mother memories.
Inoichi's jutsu on your head were getting more and more weak, you could literally feel it. Even though he was a master to find others people secret, he could still be manipulated to see what you wanted him to see. You knew all it would take was one more scene and he would be done with it.
So, you showed the day your dad put on his fighting clothes, saying he would be back soon enough and went to the war. You showed him the endless hours expecting for him to come home, as you stood there alone in the dark. The times you heard a noise outside and thought it was him but it was wind or some rotten bamboo which fell on the roof, and then, the time you decided to look for him, going straight to the war field. You showed him as you found your father's body in the middle of the others endless bodies there. How you cried over him, tried what you knew about medic ninjutsu - which it was so little. You literally showed Inoichi how your heart broke that day and he couldn't take it, breaking the jutsu so he could wipe away his own tears.
You remembered something you father told you long time ago.
"Inoichi is the best in searching for information in someone's head," he said during one practice. "But growing up with a brother like that, I had to find out some tricks so I could keep some things as secret from him. I didn't want my brother to know everything about my life."
And just like that you knew, Inoichi could be the best at searching for information, but your father was the best at hiding it. Your life goal was to become even better than your father, and you completely manage to do it.
After that day, Inoichi never tried to get inside your head again, you knew it was too painful for him. So, he took you under his wing, taking care of you just like he used to when you were little. Every day was getting harder to separate your feelings from the mission, as you trained with them, eat with them and everything else. Inoichi even wanted you to become a Konoha's ninja, and he was going to ask the Hokage - who apparently was in a coma - if it was possible.
"So, I heard you are making a huge success in the Village," Ino said one day, after practice. "Naruto and Kiba are fighting to see who is going to ask you out. Today I even caught Shikamaru staring at you a little too long, which by the way, it's kind of shocking. I have seen him showing interest in one girl in my life, and if I am correct, which I am, she really likes him. So, you should stay away from him a bit."
You laughed at her. "Naruto, huh?" you asked, happy because your mission would be easier than you thought. Going out with him would help you to extract information from him without being suspicious.
"So, he is a favorite. I will make sure to tell him that," Ino said, confusing your happiness like you actually wanted to go out with Naruto because you liked him. "He is so popular with girls now, it's kind of weird. Actually, the fact he wants to go out with you is weird too, because he used to like Sakura a lot."
You were grateful you had someone as chatty as Ino as your cousin. She herself had given you tons of infos, in Naruto and the rest of their friends. She was also making everything easier for you, but every time you thought about leaving after finishing your mission, your heart broke into two. She would never forgive you after finding out what you were about to do.
The hang out with Ino's friends were a good part of your day, because it was the only part of the day you let yourself to be the teenager you were supposed to be.
This time, you all went to eat barbecue. During the whole night, you guys laughed and told stories about life, trainings and missions. Stories were by far your favorite things to hear, and those guys have tons of them. But your favorite one by far was when Naruto defeated Nagato - the real Pain. Even you, after a short time, could see how big Naruto's heart was.
At the end of the evening, everyone said goodbye. When Ino said she had to do something with Choji, things got a little suspicious.
"But Naruto will walk you until my house, right, Naruto?" Ino asked him, directly.
"But your house is really far..." He trailed off as Sakura elbowed him, realization hitting him right away.
"I suppose I could go wit-" Kiba got interrupted by a screaming Naruto.
"No way, dattebayo! I will do it, I need to lose all the calories I got from this barbecue anyway. Y/n-chan, do you mind?" His smile was genuine, and you couldn't help but to smile back.
"Not at all, Naruto. I would really appreciate it," you answered in return, making his smile even bigger - if it was possible.
It didn’t take much until you realized Naruto was someone easy to be around. He always tried to mask his insecurities with cocky jokes and wide smiles, and you found to be strangely found of him. Walking side by side, it was almost shocking that the person next to you managed to defeat someone so strong as Pain. You crossed paths with Akatsuki once in a while on your missions, and you knew better than anyone how lucky you were for being alive.
“Y/n-chan, would you like to hang out sometime?” Naruto blurted out, his cheeks tinted with a light pink.
“Isn’t that what we are doing?” You smiled at him, poking his side with your elbow.
“Yes, but I mean, like a date.” He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
“I would love to.” You shrugged, but inside, your heart was flipping around. The worst part was when you realized it wasn’t because your mission was finally working, but because you wanted to go out with him.
“How about tomorrow?” He questioned, as soon as you arrived at the Yamanaka’s house.
“That would be perfect. Until then.”
Things followed. The first date, the connection between you two was undeniable, but you still tried to keep your mind on the prize. You analyzed every single word that came out of his mouth, but your heart couldn’t stop but beat faster every time he would smile or say something sweet about you.
You accepted his invitation for a second date, a third, a fourth, until Naruto became a constant on your routine.  There were days where you would see him more than you would see your own cousin Ino, and you lived with the girl.
For many times, you wanted badly to let it go of this mission and just live. A normal relationship with someone you were crazy about, a nice family who loved you and supported you, loyal friends, out of the chart teachers… It was everything so tempting, but something buried inside your head didn’t make you give up completely for it, so every night, you wrote down on a parchment the new discovers from Naruto and everyone around him.
The last drop of resistance on your body melted the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.
You choked on the ramen you were about to swallow, staring in disbelief at the blond guy sitting across the table, his cheeks tinted by a nice shade of red.
“I know I surprised you, but it would be nice if you said something.” Naruto pointed out, scratching the back of his head, nervously.
A movie played on your head, those ones that you would figure that they passed when you were about to die. Everything you could remember since you left Konoha marked you in a way you would never recover, that for sure, but did that mean you could never find happiness? For the first time, you felt what it was like. For the first time, sorrow and hurt wasn’t the feelings that you went to the whole day through, fighting them to the back of your mind.
Naruto was there, offering everything you have ever wanted, and you had the guts to say yes.
So, you did.
His face lightened as someone had just told him he had won a whole year of free ramen. His happiness was by far the favorite thing you had witnessed in your life, along with the kiss that followed after it. For once, you forgot about your former jobs, your former past and mostly, your former pain.
During months, everything was just fine. Both of you had to deal with some difficulties on your way, but nothing that would damage your relationship. You ended up finding out about Sasuke and how badly Naruto wanted to recover him back, how deep Naruto and Sakura relationship was, strong as a brotherhood. Ino also loved to have you around, and even though you didn’t have a team, InoShikaCho didn’t hesitate to take you under their wings.
One day before the big war, you and Naruto were packing the stuff you would need to take to reunite the Alliance force. He was going through your draws, as you were going through your closet, as you heard his breathing getting faster.
“y/n, what is this?”
You turned to face your boyfriend with your old parchments on his hands. By the looks of it, he had read a couple of them, and the confusion on his face broke your heart as you didn’t know what to say.
Every single day you told yourself you should get rid of those things, but you never remembered. The guy who hired you never went after you because he didn’t even pay you, at first, so he didn’t lose anything by you not doing it.
“Naruto, I can explain.”
“So do it, because from where I’m standing, it seems like a parchment with a lot of private information of mine.” Naruto threw the paper and it ended up in front of your feet.
“You have to understand, Naruto. There were a few things I have done to survive that I am not proud of.” You took a step forward, but Naruto raised his hand as signing for you to stop.
“What you were going to do with those, y/n?” He demanded, his eyes turning red for a second before coming back to the usual blue.
“I was hired to spy on you, that was the motive that made me come back to Konoha.” The tears started to pool on the corner of your eyes. “But that was before. I didn’t give them anything about you. I couldn’t, I love you too much to do it.”
“You came to Konoha decided to betray your own family?” His tone mirrored the despise on his eyes.
“I would never do anything to hurt them.”
“But me, it was okay?”
“You don’t understand, Naruto. Spying was everything I knew before I came to Konoha. I was hurt and alone, needing money to survive. I wanted to honor my mother wishes but I couldn’t.”
“Do you really think I don’t understand the concept of being alone?” He hissed, turning his gaze away from your face. “I’ve been alone for the most part of my life, y/n. I grew up with people running away from me out of fear and you came here to tell me that I simply don’t understand? What is there to understand now?”
“That I’m crazy about you. You changed me, made me see things in a point of view I didn’t even know it was possible. You were gentle, kind and I believe you can change the whole world just by being in it, Naruto. I am sorry that I didn’t come here with the best intentions, but I am a totally different person from before.”
“I think we should take a break.”
“A break? We are going to a war tomorrow!”
“It’ll be better for both of us if we are focused on the battle ahead. We’ll talk when we are back.”
“Except that you can’t be sure that both of us are coming back alive.”
That hit him, hard. You noticed how shallow his breath became, how he had to swallow hard before opening his mouth again. “Come back alive.” He said, for last, before leaving you on the empty room.
The next few days, you had barely seen Naruto. He didn’t tell anyone about your former plans, which just made harder to explain people why you two weren’t together anymore. You ended up being designed to the same battalion as your cousin and her team. Even though you knew it was a war to protect Naruto and the bijuu inside him, every second of your day was filled with worried by him, and the constant lack of news was even worse than the nonstop fighting.
After finishing the coast, your whole group were designed to assist Naruto on his battle. Of course, you were the one running as faster as you can, so you could reach him faster. No words were needed in this case, all you want were to lay your eyes on him to make sure he was alive.
The moment your heart skipped a beat was exactly when he entered on your sight. The blond guy that you loved with all your body cells was standing there, he seemed hurt and tired, but not even as near to give up. That being the trait which you loved the most on him.
The whole battle was a long one and the adrenaline never stopped running through people’s vein, yours mostly. When Naruto decided to divide his nine tail chakra with everyone, was the first time he realized you were there. He hesitated before touching your hand, and you pressed your lips into a thin line when he jerked back to keep a whine that threatened to escape from your lips inside.
Before moving to the next person, he shot you a sad grin. “I’m glad you alive.”
As fast as he came, he disappeared on the crowd. You didn’t even have the chance to check if it was a shadow clone, just his dust from the run near you now. Despite it, it seemed you couldn’t look away. Following Naruto and paying attention to his surroundings was basically your task. So, the moment you saw one of the ten tailed monsters going straight at his direction, you didn’t think twice before jumping in between them, avoiding Naruto to get a hit on his back.
But you got the hit right below your chest, taking away all the air from your lungs.
Naruto just was fast enough to end the creature as you fell against the cold ground. You fell the warm blood spreading through all your clothes, your conscience slightly fading away.
As soon as Naruto reached you, the tears were already pooling in the corner of his eyes. “No, no, no. Stay with me, y/n. I told you not to die, damn it.” He looked around, looking for someone. “SAKURA, HELP ME.” He screamed, his voice cracking at the end.
“Naruto, it’s okay. You’re okay. That’s what matters.” You managed to say and honestly, you wanted to speak even more, but the pain running through your body was unbearable, every breath feeling like someone was stabbing you.
“SAKURA! WHERE IS SHE?” Naruto yelled at someone near, you couldn’t see who it was. “Do you know anything about medic ninjutsu? Can you help me?”
Someone bent near to your body, sobbing. “You stupid! What did you do?”
A weak smile crossed your lips, in relief. “You should be used by now, cousin. I’ll always protect those I love.”
A green chakra was leaking from her hands, pressed on your wound. But it wouldn’t work. You could feel your organs shutting down, one at time.
“Ino, talk to me.” Naruto hissed.
“I can’t, the damage, I can’t.” The blond said, crying.
“It’s okay. Both pay attention at me. Ino, thank you for everything.” You managed to say, but she cut you off.
“I just lost my father, please. Please. I can’t lose you too!” She leaned in over your body, and you had to cough a little. A warm feeling appeared running down your cheek and you weren’t sure if it was blood or tears.
“Ino.” You said a little bit stronger. “Take care of yourself, and the boys too. They need you. I love you, sister.”
“I love you!” She yelled, before Shikamaru pulled her back from your body.
A small part of you still wanted to laugh, they were still on a battlefield on a fucking war and here they were, acting like they had all the time in the world.
“Naruto.” You used the last strength on your body to look at him. “Hi baby.”
He was crying silently; his hand was holding yours so strongly and you didn’t even feel it. “Please.”
“I am sorry for not staying alive. Don’t you ever forget how much I loved you. Thank you for teaching me what love really meant.” You swallowed hard. “Take care of Ino for me, and please, stay alive.”
“I will. I love you too. I love you so much.” He hugged your body and you noticed the pain was smaller, as almost not existent. You smiled to the sky and closed your eyes, just waiting. Far from there, the sound of a someone crying harder reached your ears, and then, everything went black.
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Takara’s Hero Academia, Season 2 Episode 2 [Eijiro Kirishima/OC] [Female!Aizawa/Hizashi]
Okay, so here we finally are. I feel like it’s been forever since I updated this story. Sorry! 
Anyway, um, I do now have a Patreon, in case anyone wants to actually pay me to write or whatever. Seriously, though, don’t feel pressured to do anything with this. I am just seeing if anything will come out of this. 
Moving on, I’ll do the taglist. @elite-guard-hardygal @dailyojiromashirao @souskena and @fandoms-fandoms-everywhere99 . I apologize for not having this up last night!! I thought I’d be able to sit down and get it done but then I ended up getting sidetracked and then it was midnight and--whoops. I might post what I did instead later. It’s kinda cool! Hardygal knows what it is, lol. XD
Okay, so lemme add the link for this series’ Masterlist! 
Okay, now let’s get to the story! :)
God Bless and Good Day! 
~The Lupine Sojourner
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By the time the final bell rang, I was exhausted.
I yawn and stand, gathering my things up before Eijiro grabs them and slips them into my backpack for me, and I blush a little. He was still distracting me! I thought I was going to try to pull myself together around him! Regardless, I smile.
“Thanks, but you really don’t have to keep doing this kind of thing for me…” I mumble, scratching the back of my neck. Eijiro shrugs.
“I want to.” He replies and my blush goes a few shades darker.
“O-oh…” I mumble. “Okay.” Then, Ochaco opens the door.
“Uhh...why the heck are you all here!?” I look up and see the doorway packed with students.
“Do you students have some business with our class?” Tenya asks. No one replies. I shift awkwardly, shrinking back a little into my seat. The spotlight wasn’t something I was used to. If I had to guess, they’re here to scout out the class that’s fought villains...greeeaaaattt.
“Why are you blocking the doorway?” The class pervert asks. “I won’t let you hold us hostage!” I roll my eyes. Like he could do anything about it. Katsuki, backpack over his shoulder, stalks toward the door.
“They’re scouting out the competition, idiots.” He growls. “We’re the class that survived a real villain attack. They wanna see us with their own eyes.” I gulp, standing. If he was leaving, I should, too. I needed to find Mom and Dad, anyway. Eijiro takes my backpack and walks toward the door with me. I smile gratefully at him. “At least know you know what a future pro looks like.” Katsuki continued. I roll my eyes, the smile dropping.
“Katsuki, enough. We’re all striving to be heroes. Technically, that makes us all potential future pros. Stop.” I call, but it doesn’t make a difference.
“Now move it, extras!” Katsuki snaps as the crowd goes quiet.
“Katsuki!” I bark, hobbling over.
“You can’t just go around calling people extras just because you don’t know them!” Tenya interjects, his arms waving wildly in his emotional state. I open my mouth to add my own lecture, but then a voice rings out and I freeze.
“So this is Class 1-A.” It was Hitoshi! “I heard you guys were impressive, but you just seem like an ass.” He was talking to Katsuki as he made his way through the crowd as I crutch over.
“Shinso!” He never liked me calling him ‘Hitoshi’ in public. He smiles briefly at me, nodding subtly, then turns back to Katsuki.
“You know this clown?” Katsuki growls. I glare at him.
“Yeah. We went to middle school together.” It was a reason I know his name, at least. I didn’t need to go further and embarrass Hitoshi.
“I was sad to come here and find a bunch of egomaniacs in her class.” He continues, sighing a little and rubbing the back of his neck.
“It’s just how Katsuki is,” I defend, “but seriously. Not all of us are like him.” Katsuki glares at me. Hitoshi closes his eyes.
“I wanted to be in the hero course.” He says to no one in particular...or maybe Katsuki. Or 1-A. I’m not sure. “But, like many others here, I was forced to choose a different track.” I suddenly realize why Shinso was here; part of it might be checking on me, but a larger portion must be him declaring what he intended to do. He wanted to win the Sports Festival or do well enough that he can be moved into the Hero Course, like Mom did when she was in high school. “Such is life.” His eyes narrow at Katsuki, who’s remaining surprisingly calm. “I didn’t cut it the first time around, but I have another chance.” I knew it! “If any of us do well in the Sports Festival, the teachers can decide to transfer us to the Hero Course, and they’ll have to transfer students out to make room.” Oh, no...this was a declaration of war. “‘Scouting the competition’?” Hitoshi asks rhetorically. “Maybe some of my peers are, but I’m here to let you know that if you don’t bring your very best, I’ll steal your spot right out from under you.” Hitoshi tilts his head a little. “Consider this a declaration of war.” I blink.
“Shinso…” I murmur, biting my lip. The rest of the class flinches in shock, but I look at Shinso dead in the eye. Hitoshi was serious, but only glaring at Katsuki, who was glaring back. Was he just acting tough to push himself?
“Hey, you!” Comes a new male voice, and someone else forces their way to the head of the crowd. He had incredibly thick blonde eyelash-looking things around his eyes, with silver hair and a fire in his eyes to match Katsuki’s. Oh, great. Another hothead. “I’m from Class B, right next door to you! We heard you fought some villains and- -oh, shit.” He stops short when he sees my boot and crutch. I sigh and gesture to the boot.
“Yeah, we fought villains.” I reply. “And I got the injuries to prove it.” He takes a step back, then scoffs.
“Well, looks like the rest of your class are brats who think they’re better than us!” He challenges. I roll my eyes and point to my backpack, in Eijiro’s hand.
“That’s my backpack, but it hasn’t been on my shoulders since I got here. Eijiro here was the one who got me out of the villain attack and he’s been helping me ever since. The rest of my class are great people, too. Bakugo’s just...headstrong and doesn’t listen to anything or anyone.” The guy turns to Katsuki.
“Oh, great! Talk all you want, loser! It’ll just be more embarrassing when you’re K.Oed!” Katsuki just scoffs and walks away.
“Don’t you ignore me!” The newcomer roars angrily. I move to get Katsuki, but Eijiro beats me to saying anything.
“Dude, where’re you going?! You gotta say something! It’s your fault everyone’s hating on us, Bakugo!” Katuski just glances over his shoulder.
“These people don’t matter.” He growls.
“Huh!?” Eijiro snaps.
“The only thing that’s important is that I beat them.”
“Katsuki, stop!” I snap. “Yeah, we have to beat them to win, but heroes also need to have good teamwork with others. You need to work on that if you want to be the top.”
“Says who?” Katsuki retorts, then walks away before I can say anything else. The silver-head pops up again.
“Hey! I’m coming for you!” He exclaims. Katsuki ignores him. I go to chase him down and talk sense into him, but then decide against it. Right now, Katsuki’s only focus was winning the Sports Festival. If I were to talk to him, he’d only see it as me trying to undermine his chances somehow.
“I hate that that was such a manly exit…” Eijiro grumbles, clenching his fist. I bite my lip.
“Yeah, but...there’s no way he’ll win the Festival if he pisses everyone off.” I reply.
“Meh. He’ll be fine.” Sero counters.
“Besides, he wasn’t wrong.” Fumikage points out. “We have to beat them.” Kaminari groans.
“Yeah, sure, but this sucks!”
“So let’s prove them wrong.” I call, coming back further into the class room. “Don’t be what everyone thinks we are. We’ll prove them wrong.” Denki groans.
“But he made us everyone’s enemy!”
“Yeah, and all these dumb idiots will be gunning for us in the Festical now.” Mineta adds. I shrug, not looking at that little creep.
“Look, just keep training hard and don’t be an asshole and we’ll prove them wrong.” I retort, looking at Kaminari. He laughs.
“Kinda blunt, Yamada, but I like your style!” I chuckle and wave him away.
“Call me Takara, and thanks.” Eijiro then calls me and puts my backpack beside my desk for me. I notice he’s glaring at Kaminari, so I try to distract him by smiling at him. “Thanks.” The students outside slowly go away, talking about this and that, and I have to restrain myself from giving some big speech about how great my class is because the truth is...I don’t really know them yet. I don’t know enough to definitively stand up and say what I want to say. I then look up as Shinso walks over, giving me a small smile.
“Hey.” I smile back.
“Hey.”
“I’m glad to see you’re better. You had me scared for a moment.” Anyone who didn’t know Shinso might think he’s just saying that. His voice didn’t give much emotion away, but I understood. He meant every word.
“That was some speech.” I note, sighing.
“I meant that, too.” He says, leaning against the desk in front of me and crossing his arms. Most everyone’s left and I wanted to talk to Shinso, anyway, so I stay.
“Don’t lie; you just wanted to see me.” I tease, smiling.
“And what gave you that idea? I just wanted to send my message to 1-A.” He retorts. I roll my eyes, then sigh and pick at my skirt.
“...I’m worried, Shinso.” I confess softly.
“About what?” He asks, brow raised.
“About the Festival, and...and if I’ll be healed enough to prepare myself to fight. I just...my ribs don’t hurt that bad, but my leg still needs work. And I still need to train. A lot. I just...Mom and Dad will be watching. The world will be watching. I want to make a good impression.” Eijiro apparently takes that as a kind of cue, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“You’ll make a great one!” He assures me, daring to squeeze me close enough to mush our cheeks together. I blush and laugh.
“If you say so.” I reply, squeezing him in return. He straightens up, lets go, and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“But seriously; don’t sweat it. You’ll be great!” I grin and put my hand over his in a moment of boldness. 
“If you say so.” I retort. Eijiro understood the deeper meaning; I support you, but think you’re downplaying yourself too much.. It was somethign we’d done for each other a lot as we approached this school year and the challenge of learning how to be a pro hero. Shinso pushes off the desk.
“Well, it was nice chatting, but I should be going.” He says. I stand, too, and hug him.
“Thanks for coming.” I murmur, drawing away.
“Your friend’s right, Takara; trust yourself. Besides, your parents adore you. No matter what you do in the Festival, their love won’t change.” I nod.
“Yeah, yeah. I just can’t help worrying about this whole thing.” Hitoshi shakes his head, chuckling.
“Don’t.” With that, he shrugs and waves as he walks away. I watch him leave and then pick up my backpack, slinging it over one shoulder, insisting on carrying it this time, despite Eijiro tugging on it.
“I got it. I’m not going far. Just to the teacher’s lounge to find Mom and Dad.” Eijiro pouts.
“Takara, you shouldn’t overdo it.” He mumbles. I smile, adjusting the backpack a little.
“I’m not.” He suddenly leans forward gives me a hug. I wonder where this is coming from, but find that I really like this. His hug is strong, but not overwhelming, steady and warm. I feel so safe and secure, I lose myself for a second and bury my face in his neck. He smells like cologne and men’s bodywash. One of those two things had teatree oil in it, something that made him smell amazing!
I then feel Eijiro stiffen and come back to reality and I blush almost blood red as I release him. Our eyes were so wide, they might have popped if they were balloons. “S-so-sorry!” I stammer, grabbing my crutch and running as quick as I can out of the classroom without using the crutch. Eijiro hadn’t moved, so I had a headstart, managing to get away before he- -”Ow!”
“Oof!” I blink, my leg flaring a bit as I realize I’ve run into somebody. Instantly, I stand and apologize. The person I hit laughs.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. It happens sometimes.” It’s a female, third year if I had to guess. Her Quirk makes her look wolf-like, her fur a mottled grey, black and earthen brown. It was so pretty! Her eyes were sapphire blue on the outside and emerald green on the inside and her tail flicks back and forth mindlessly and I have to remember to talk. It was rude to just stare.
“But still. I’m, um, Takara. Takara Yamada.” Her eyes light up.
“Oh! My dad works with your parents!” I raise a brow.
“Really?” She nods.
“Yeah! Oh, sorry! I’m Asami. Asami Hamato.” I grin.
“Like Hamato-Sensei that teaches the second years’ literature?” Asami laughs.
“Yeah. He might quit after this semester, though. He wants to start a self-defense dojo for people with less, um, combative Quirks.”
“Wow, that’s amazing!” She nods happily.
“Thanks.” She hands me back my crutch. “Here you go.” I take it. She pauses. “Wait...you’re in 1-A, right?” I nod.
“Yeah.” She gestures to my boot.
“This from that USJ incident?” I nod.
“Yeah...turns out your leg breaks when a superhuman grabs it to slam you into your mother.” I tried to sound light, like it was a joke now...but my voice wavered. Asami winces.
“Yikes. I’m glad you’re doing better, then.” I was grateful she didn’t press me for more details as I squirm.
“Thanks. I should probably let you go. It was great meeting you.” Asami smiles.
“Yeah, it was great meeting you, too. Maybe I’ll see you around, okay?” I nod, starting to walk off.
“Yeah.” We wave at each other and I continue on my way. Luckily, Eijiro hadn’t pursued me. I blushed again just thinking about that moment…
What was I thinking?! I’d just...it’d felt so good having his strong arms around me, his warmth making me feel safe and at ease, even if it was just for a moment. And then I went and ruined the mood by sniffing him! Ergh!
Finally, I reach the teacher’s lounge. “Hey, champ!” Dad calls. “I was just gonna come looking for yah!” I walk further into the room.
“Hey. I was just talking a bit with the others before I came up here.” he smiles.
“Okay.” I decided to focus on Asami, not that. I’d never hear the end of it if I told Dad I sniffed someone (especially Eijiro) out of nowhere.
“I met a third year on my way here.” Dad tilts his head.
“Oh? Who are they? I might know her.”
“Asami Hamato.” Dad grins.
“Oh, yeah! Her dad works here; Hamato Yoshi. He’s a nice guy. Kinda quiet, doesn’t say much, and doesn’t hang around the school a lot.” I shrug.
“Asami also said he wants to start a self-defense dojo for people that don’t have very combative Quirks.” Dad’s eyes go wide.
“That’s great!” I grin.
“I know, right?” Dad then grabs his stuff.
“Alright. Shota’s resting on the couch, but it’s time to go, so I’ll get her.” I nod.
=#=#=#=#=
The next few days went quick, and after school, I’d pop in for a little healing. Never anything extreme, but enough that in those few days, I was healed enough that Recovery Girl gave me the okay to start getting back into exercise and training, warning me to take it a little slow at first.
At that particular session (when I was cleared for training), All Might happens by the door. “I didn’t know you still needed healing…” He mumbles, walking slowly into the room. He looked guilty, but I don’t know why.
“Well, I didn’t want to drain my stamina too much because of school and stuff, but, um, yeah...I should be all healed soon, though, right Recovery Girl?” She chuckles.
“Yes, I believe so, now hold still so I can use my Quirk.” I do and find the healing sensation something I’ve gotten used to at this point. I watch Toshin-Oji go into his real form and sigh heavily as he sits on a cot.
“Takara, I...I wanted to say I’m sorry.” I blink as Recovery Girl moves away.
“Wait, what?” I ask, genuinely confused. “What for?”
“I couldn’t be at the USJ because I wasted my time as All Might that morning being heroic. I was stupid and now you, Shota, and Izuku paid the price.” I blink, remembering that Izuku’s legs seemed broken when he leapt out to protect All Might at the USJ. I wince.
“Is Izuku okay?” I ask automatically.
“He’s fine.” Recovery Girl assures me. “Besides broken legs, he only had minor injuries and two broken fingers.” I breathe out.
“That’s good.”
“How’s Shota?” All Might asks, bringing us more or less back to what he’d said. I sigh.
“She’s...coping. It’s not easy for her to adjust to needing to wear casts on both of her arms, but she’s happy she’s not blind.”
“She could have been blinded?!” He asks sharply in shock. I pale. Wrong thing to say!
“...Her orbital floors were pretty badly damaged, but Recovery Girl managed to heal them. She’s fine...or, at least, better then she used to be.” I chuckle awkwardly, and All Might smiles in relief, exhaling.
“That’s great news. Frankly, I was worried about you two, even after I heard you were stable. When I saw you on the ground, caught under Nomu’s foot...I didn’t know what had happened, just that it pissed me off so much I saw red and next thing I knew, I had you in my arms.” I blink. He’d been feeling this way since the incident?
“Toshin-Oji, you really can’t blame yourself- -no, seriously- -the only ones to blame are the villains.” I reply, holding up a hand when he tried to interrupt. “Even during the fight, I knew as long as I could hold out until I got to Recovery Girl, I’d be okay. I knew my injuries were bad, but I always had that notion in the back of my head.” I realize what I’m saying and turn to Recovery Girl. “I mean, not that I assumed you’d help me or anything! I just knew there was a possibility that I’d be healed pretty quickly!” She holds up her hand.
“I knew what you meant, dear. And, unlike another student, I haven’t had to heal you much, so of course I’d help you out. You and your mother were hurt pretty bad. I knew I could help, and I did, so let’s all agree to put this behind us, okay?” I smile.
“Yeah...okay. Toshin-Oji?” He turns his head to look me in the eye. “I love you.” He blinks.
“I love you, too.” He says and I swoop over to hug him. “You truly are a treasure.” He murmurs, squeezing me just a little harder and kissing my temple. I tear up a little in happiness and bury my face in his chest.
“Hey, Tik--...am I interrupting?” Dad asks, trailing off when he saw what was going on. I pull away and smile at Dad.
“Nah, we were just clearing some things up.” I reply, winking at Toshin-Oji. Dad seems to read the subtext and nods.
“I see. Well, Shota’s ready to go, so let’s not keep her waiting, okay?” I nod.
“Okay.” I turn back to the office. “Bye, guys!” I call, waving as I walk out of the room, thankfully not needing my boot. “Thank you, Recovery Girl!” I add.
“Don’t overdo it, dear! Start slow!” She calls back and I nod in acknowledgement.
“Hey, Tik-Tak, there’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” Dad says as we walk, and I nod, wondering what he could possibly want to talk to me about.
“Okay.” I prompt. He wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“Shota and I have been talking, and we think it’d be best to move into the faculty facility here on campus. That way, Shota doesn’t have to be driven to work everyday and we all have a bit more independence. Would you want to do that?” I nod.
“Yeah, Mom mentioned you two were toying with the idea, and I told her I could have my stuff packed in, like, two hours. Honestly, I think it’s a good idea!” He ruffles my hair.
“Thanks, Takara. Frankly, I’m using the whole move as a way to help Shota.” He sighs, slumped and looking away. “She’s taking this hard. Villains got the drop on us and she’s still trying to cope.” I blink.
“I...I’d imagine so.” I mumble. “Honestly, I haven’t been sleeping too well, myself. I keep waking up to nothing, feeling on edge for some reason, wondering what woke me, but I’m able to go back to sleep. Sometimes, I swear there’s someone in a room, but when I do the vibration thing, no one’s there.” Dad looks at me somberly, hand on my shoulder.
“That’s completely normal, Musume. Even Shota’s been having nightmares. She keeps waking up, clutching her face and staring around the room with her Quirk active, like she’s looking for enemies. It’s hard to get her to calm down.” I sigh. Figures Mom has her own demons to deal with.
“Maybe we can have movie night? Watch some corny comedy or something?” Dad chuckles.
“Maybe. Or we can ask Toshinori for show suggestions to watch as a family.” I nod eagerly.
“Yeah!” I’m already whipping out my phone and typing up a text as Dad laughs.
“We’ll look up recipes for popcorn and make a night of it. What’dya say?” I grin at him, sending the text.
“I say ‘hell yeah’!” I reply, high-fiving dad. This was a great idea!
Within five minutes, I get a text back.
Toshin-Oji <3:
Well, if you’re looking for something that makes for a good distraction, I’d recommend some of the older movies by an American film studio called Walt Disney. They have an interesting 2-D style in their early works and I find the stories charming. As for shows, I’m not sure...maybe look around and see if something appeals to you all.
I smile. That was an interesting idea, for sure.
=#=#=#=#=
The next day, we were at the fake city from the entrance exam, training. It was a lot of fun, even if I couldn’t really work myself the way I wanted to without making my leg cramp and spasm even after healing the broken bone. It was slowly coming back to normal, though, as I practiced simple kicks and stuff after a really short run to build that muscle back. My ribs forced me to take breaks, as well, if I pushed it too hard, but they were coming along great, too. My phone buzzes as I finish a pretend fight, so I check who the text is from.
Eijiro Kirishima:
Hey, come look at the tall building’s roof!
Confused, I decide to go ahead and walk over. I knew Eijiro was in the same area as me, so I knew which tall building he meant. However, it was so tall, I couldn’t see clearly what I was supposed to see up there. All I saw was a small blurry thing that might be Eijiro.
Me:
Ok, I’m here. What do you want me to see? I can’t really see anything…
Just a few seconds after I sent that, I hear a faint yell and then look up to see- - “Eijiro!” I scream, backing up toward the building make sure I wouldn’t be hit. I knew what he was doing; practicing falling long distances and using his Quirk to survive them. It was just training, but...still. If he didn’t activate his Quirk in time...thankfully, he lands and comes back up almost instantly, thrusting dramatically through the cracked pavement.
“Yyyeeaaahhh!” He roars, grinning wildly at me as he walks over, dusting himself off. His grin then turns into a smirk. “Impressed?” He asks, one hand on his hip, the other on the wall. I snort, blushing a little as he leans in just a little.
“You’re insane. You could have died...but to answer your question...yeah, it was kinda impressive.” I reply with slightly pink cheeks, chuckling and walking away, when Eijiro puts his other hand on the other side of my head. I turn to look at him. His face is intense with some unreadable emotion as he stares at me.
“So...did I smell good?” He asks, leaning in. I blush and lean back against the wall. Where was this coming from!?
“Um...what?” I ask stupidly, my racing mind unable to process what he might be talking about.
“What happened after the final bell yesterday...that hug…” My blush darkens. Oh shit! I’d almost forgotten! I lick my lips.
“I- -I’m so sorry about that!” I squeak, unsure how to take this reaction. Was he mad? Disgusted? He was so hard to read right now… “I, ah, I mean…yeah...you did smell good.” Why was that hard to say? It was a fact, nothing more...right? He then smiles, laughing (I swear he’s blushing, too, though) as he leans back, keeping one hand on the wall. I blush darker and want to sink into the ground.
“Takara, relax! I was just teasing!” He chirps. “But, good to know!” I exhale, then smack his arm.
“You jerk! I thought you were mad at me or something!” That, and I thought maybe...that was leading somewhere- -stoppit! This is not the time for those kind of thoughts! He’s just a friend! Stop!
“Aww, Takara, I could never be mad at you for long!” He replies, patting my arm and moving away.
“Good to know, jerk.” I grumble, the tone undermined by my smirk, then I sigh and nudge him. “You know, you’re a good man, Eijiro.” I mumble, cheeks red again “You didn’t have to help me, but you did, and I want you to know it means a lot to me.” He’s definitely blushing as he walks beside me. I wanted to make sure he knew how much all his help meant to me.
“Takara, I’d do it again. Anytime.” I feel an instinct to hug him but refrain and settle for smiling at him as we walk back toward where the others were training.
“And I’d do it for you.” I reply, just letting myself enjoy this moment. It was two friends affirming their bond...and that’s it…
So why am I blushing?!
(I promise I don’t mean to keep forcing KiriKara down your throat but most of these moments write themselves. Hope y’all don’t mind! (: Can’t wait to show you all the Sports Festival!)
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k-urokonobasket · 5 years
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kurotsuki headcanons bc im weak for like. the housekeeping stuff.
third gym all xchanged numbers at training camp, kept in touch. it wasn't super active, but once someone sends smth it just keeps blowing up. (kuroo bokuto akaashi lev hinata and tsukishima are all in it!) its active like once a weekish probably, mostly . not tsukishima! hes in it but has it muted but sometimes hell humor them and react to the messages and stuff - this kid loves to have fun. akaashi is even less active then him though, bless his heart. but sometimes when kuroo or bokuto come up north to visit family, theyll ask if they can play at the gym or meet up and sometimes. kuroo will text him directly which makes tsukishima Raise His Hackles but he doesnt say no, and the first time they meet up, its at Ukais shop (albeit when someone else is at the counter.) tsuki voice you arent getting me to any secondary location sister. its also the first thing he addresses - youre a cradle robber? chasing firsties? cant land anyone your own age? kuroo laughs but says hes not really interested in anyone but he wanted to properly apologize for his comment over the summer, and in return he'll allow tsuki to lend his ear - for anything. tsukishima is like. w h a t ? ¿ he accepts the apology for the hinata thing but then chdbzhsbj he gets this Glint In His Eye when he says "he might be creeping up on me and inevitably over come me, but im not kind enough to make it easy for him" and like not to be dramatic but kuroo gets goosebumps and is like Ah Hah. he commends tsukishima on the change in perspective, and asks if they wanna go to the karasuno gym - hell help in his endeavors, and after sitting on a train for a few hours hes restless. the . offer to talk kind of slides to the wayside, but neither particularly mind because theyre not Really The Talking Type and tsukishima enjoys being around someone with the same sort of cunning edge he has, and they make slight jabs during the walk and its . light. easy! when they show up its free practice, so some of the people from the girls team are there, as well as the third years. suga notices them first, and gets daichis and asahis attention and hes like. Hello ? tsukishima is like. Now We Dont Have Time To Unpack All Of That, so he lets kuroo explain. daichi raises an eyebrow but leaves it alone, at least until right before they leave and he talks to him and is like. i know youre not so despicable to go after a kid but . be kind. and kuroo nods and smiles and says his "im always this kind" line and daichi rolls his eyes but he trusts him and wishes him well. kuroo is kind of surprised everyone things hes trying to flirt with tsuki, but. people will just be like that.
anyway, they meet up sometimes, joking and talking about teammates and school and kuroo helps tsuki with chemistry and they find out kuroos going to school for molecular bio and tsuki is thinking about lit, or maybe compsci, but he's not too pressed about it yet. kuroo is like Ah, The Wiles Of Youth and that earns him a soft smack on the back of his head.
tsukishima doesnt go to see him graduate high school, but he does send a text, which is nice.
as kuroo settles in at his university (north or tokyo but not by much, hes a city boy!) they visit less but tsukishima has a lot to do because the new first years have a lot of work they need and now that hinata and kageyama are less incorrigible spending time with them can actually be fun, but they still try for once a month, splitting the difference. kuroo got recruited to his team and still plays volleyball and its exciting to watch him get better - tsukishima says hes not going to watch until kuroo muscles his way onto the starting lineup because otherwise whats the point.
third year for tsukishima and hes vice to yamaguchi and he is proud proud proud and theyve got to wrangle these untidy underclassman and now that theyve got multiple national titles under their belt, they can now start to reestablish as a powerhouse snd get the fundng and managers and scouts they need so the captains have a lot of responsibilities, so it sometimes gets harder to get away. kuroo is settling well at school and did well in terms of grades and even if he isnt a starter, hes on the bench and thats Something. when he does start a game, tsukishima comes down to watch, and its. incredible? breathtaking? hes really good and hes connecting with the team and yeah its not nekoma but he looks just as home on this court as any other and hes made a family all his own right here. after the game he waits outside the locker room, and like not to be ridiculous but watching that game made tsukishima graduate from crush to like. being in love with kuroo. and he hopes people cant see. some of kuroos other teammates leave first, and most pay him no mind but theres a few who catch his eye, have a moment of recognition, and start snickering to their friends. it puts tsukishima on edge, a little, but even if these are college kids tsukishima has mastered his intimidation technique from the best (tanaka) (even if hes WHOLLY UNSUBTLE!) and then when kuroo exits at long last, tsukishima launches himself at him, wrapping him in a huge hug and kuroo freezes before hugging back just as hard.
tsukishima doesnt know if itll be worth much but he still whispers that hes so proud into kuroos ear and like. peak tenderness.
when they go apart, kuroo has fucking flowers and tsukishima is like. hello? hello? and kuroo asks him on a dste and tsukishima calls him an idiot and kisses him st its Cute.
before heading back home he visits suga and daichi who are sharing an apt in tokyo while they go to school and like. decompresses and loses his mind and they both give their blessing.
and when tsukishima comes back he keeps it quiet for a few months from the other two but yachi and yamaguchi both know pretty soon and when hinata finds out he absolutely drags out the groupchat and SHOVEL TALKS KUROO!! kageyama doesnt say much but they do need to, he and tsukishima have a quiet companionship now and hes fine with that. yamaguchi meets w kuroo seperately and its not a shovel talk but it is very much. be kind be nice be prepared and kuroo is happy someone he l*ves is loved but hes still properly scared of the murder of karasuno crows. and obviously bokuto and kenma and yaku reach out to do the same but its pretty sweet all around
kuroo watches him graduate. he helps him apply to college- theyre an hour or so apart but its a vast improvement and they make it work.
and they make it work!
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horansqueen · 3 years
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my best friend and i used to be in fandoms together. we created our own stories with our faves. then she got into the anime fandom, joined a group, and made some friends. now it feels like she's too engrossed with them because she rarely talks about our stories anymore. even if she did, i can tell she's only doing it so i won't feel neglected but i get vibes that she isn't interested at all. (1/?)
she has an instagram page with them where they upload tik tok vids and edits of themselves and she contributes to it. she never did that for our stories as i did most of the stuff (writing stories, creating edits, creating playlists, etc). i'm not angry at her, i'm just.. sad. i don't want to tell her because i know she loves being with them, so i'm starting to slowly distant myself from her to make space for her new friends. (2/?)
do you know what i can do to make it hurt less? i'm trying to look for other things to join but everyone is already in their own groups and found their friends. so i figured maybe it's better for me to just go at it alone. my best friend isn't interested in the fandoms outside our mutual fandoms and she tried to get me into her anime one, but i just can't. what can i do? i feel like i'm breaking up with a significant other (3/end)
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ive had many fallouts with friends so reading this really hits home. we all have different ways to handle things but i tend to be persistent. i dont like losing friends so i often start conversations with them or try to see them from time to time just to make sure were good, you know? im sorry you and your best friend arent in the same fandoms anymore, but i dont think you have to distance yourself from her because of that. i have two close friends irl. one of them is @paynesqueen and we both LOVE 1D. thats something we have in common and that we bond over (among other things lol). i also have my bff who used to be a 1D fan but really doesnt care at all anymore. but its okay, when im with her, we talk about other things, we focus on other things we have in common, and i honestly think thats what you should try with your bff. when you two are together, talk about other things. your life, how you feel, movies youve seen, idk, anything. im not saying you guys arent allowed to mention the fandoms youre in from time to time (i do blab about Niall to my bff lol) and its totally fine to listen and talk about things even if you dont like it. because listening to someone talk about something theyre passionate about is amazing! as long as it goes both ways of course. but also, im sure thats not the only thing that brought you two close. focus on the good, focus on the common things. i honestly think its worth trying to save.
and of course it feels like a breaking up with a significant other. whoever said friendship was weaker than romantic love is an idiot. friendship is a form of love and losing friends does hurt. if it turns out that you really lost her, im so sorry. i know it sucks but people change and go in and out of your life and that hurts. but whether you stay friends with her or not, i promise more ppl will come in your life and itll be great.
i hope you can have a discussion with her about how you feel. dont be scared to tell her that you dont want to lose her and that youre hurt. ask her how she feels about it, too. communication is the most important thing in any relationship. i wish i could help you more, but let me know how it goes if youre ok with it. :) keeping my fingers crossed for you 💕
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ktrsss1fics · 7 years
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Cheeseburger in Paradise: Three.
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Her first four days in Aruba were spent lounging around the beach and drinking alcohol from carved out fruit.
To say it had already been a successful vacation would be an understatement.
After her breakup with Marcus, Georgina Ferguson had become a stereotypical workaholic. She spent too much time at the office. She put in too much effort into her work. And worst of all, she was paid too little for it all.
When she moved to LA, it just got worse.
Georgina was on the verge of wearing herself thin and only two people took notice.
One lived across the pond and the other was currently sat across from her sloppily eating a bowl of oatmeal.
“Horan, you know your bowl isn’t going anywhere.” She said dryly.
His baby blue eyes flicked up at her. His lips turned up into a mischievous grin. He reached over and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She rolled her eyes in disgust making him laugh.
“Thought they would’ve taught ya manners in Popstar 101.” Georgina teased.
Niall shook his head. “That’s not until the 300 level course.”
Georgina laughed before handing over a paper napkin. Niall took it graciously before cleaning up the mess he had made.
It was barely eight o'clock in the morning. Various types of breakfast were being consumed as the group decided what their plans were for the day.
The group consensus was swimming with sharks and Georgina was not having it.
“Fergie, why don’t you want to come?” Maggie asked grabbing a spoon from the drawer.
“Because I don’t want to die.” Georgina replied as if the answer was obvious.
“You’re more likely to get killed by a cow than a shark Fergs.” Keith mentioned between bites of his egg dish.
“I bet she’s probably on her lady business or summat.” David joked from the fridge.
“Can’t be attracting those beasts towards us then.” Jamie cackled causing all the women to roll their eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come G?” Brittany asked sitting down beside her.
“Positive.” Georgina said. “Sorry”
“She doesn’t do live animals.” Niall spat mimicking her accent perfectly.
“Oh fuck off you.” She grumbled feeling her skin grow warm.
“What are you gonna do then?” Brittany asked putting pepper on her eggs.
“Stay around here. Maybe lounge by the pool. Read.” Georgina shrugged. “Nap.”
“Got me suncream and a novel. Alls I need is a pineapple of rum and m'set.” Niall said pretending to be her once more.
“Will you quit it!” She glared at him playfully.
“Or what?” He asked flirtatiously.
Before she could respond, Georgina was hit upside the head by her best friend. This only sent the boy in front of her into a fit of laughter.
She hated how much the sound of his laugh made her stomach flip.
She usually was good about hiding those types of things. She could push down her feelings and act like they didn’t exist. She could focus on other things, like work or finding the probability of a team winning the Champions League final. She could detach – especially when it came to Niall. However, after finding out how much effort he had put into getting her to Aruba, something inside her changed. Being mean seemed cruel.
Within the past few days, a switch was flipped. She was finding it more difficult to detach herself from the thought of him. He still was a pain the ass but there was something about him that was almost endearing.
Before she could get lost deeper in her own mind, Maggie’s voice rang in her ears.  She looked up to find everyone looking at her. A slight blush crept across her face.
“What’s up?” Georgina asked sheepishly.
“Just want to confirm, you’re a no to the shark adventure?” Maggie asked.
“Correct.” Georgina nodded.
“Okay. We’ll be even then.” Maggie said grabbing her phone to see if she could book a reservation on the boat.
“What are we gonna do after?” Georgina asked looking around. “Like tonight?”
“Cook dinner and go out to the bars?” Jamie suggested.
“They’ve got a cool water show at the animal reserve near by.” Keith suggested next.
“We can stay here and drink again.” David said with a smile on his face.
“I’m sick of doing that.” Jamie sighed. “We need to experience the nightlife here.”
“I’m in.” Maggie said glancing up from her phone.
A few of the other couples agreed to join.
“I don’t want to spend a lot though.” David whined.
“We can pregame before and you’ll be fine.” Brittany said looking at her boyfriend.
“Ni?” Jamie asked.
“I’m in.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.
“Fergie?” Jamie asked turning towards her.
Georgina shrugged. “Me too I guess.”
“It’s settled then.” Jamie said getting up from the table. “I say we try to leave here in an hour, yeah?”
Most of the others started to clean up their messes before heading up to their room. Georgina sat quietly and finished up the food she had made. She looked up to find Niall still sitting across from her.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” She asked taking a bite of her toast.
“You’re not done yet.” Niall shrugged.
“So?” Georgina asked confused.
“It’s rude to leave if someone’s still eating Fergie.” He sighed playfully.
Her skin grew warm as she tried to fight the way he made her feel.
“I didn’t think you’d want to come with us today. When Jamie brought it up last night, I knew you’d say no.” He said trying to change the subject.
“Wanna look at the flamingos at the beach? I’m in. Wanna see the dolphin show at that aquarium thing we saw? I’ll  be there. Want to get into a tiny cage in the middle of the ocean and have man eating monsters come swim by you? That’s where I draw the line!” She exclaimed.
Niall laughed softly making her smile.
“I’m surprised you’re going.” Georgina said.
He furrowed his brow perplexed. “Why?”
“Don’t you hate confined spaces?” Georgina asked mid chew.
“Well yeah that’s true.” He said with a nod.
“Then why are you doing it?” She asked.
“For Davey. He said he’d buy me a pint if I went.” Niall said. He saw the confused look on his face so he continued to explain. “Britt’s scared of confined spaces too so we thought if she saw me go that it would help her do it.”
“Good luck with that one. You two can’t even get on the ferris wheel at California Adventure.” Georgina said.
“Hey! That shit is tiny.” Niall said defending their reason to avoid that ride. “I’m hoping this cage thing is a lot bigger.”
“Niall! That’s what’s you’re worried about?!” She asked in shock. “A fucking shark is going to be swimming at you!”
“I’ve dealt with worse.” He shrugged.
Georgina rolled her eyes. “Teenage girls don’t count.”
“When they come out in masses they do!” He shot back.
“I’ll be saying a prayer for you all.” Georgina said. “You lot are idiots.”
“Means a lot Fergie.” He joked throwing his used napkin at her.
She finished up her food and stood up to head to the sink. Niall grabbed her plate and stacked it beneath his own before heading to the fridge. She scanned the table and cleaned up the little messes everyone else left.
Once they were done, the pair headed down the hallway towards their rooms. When they reached her door, Niall stopped  and cautiously placed an arm on her shoulder to get her attention. Georgina looked up at him.
“If I die today, you can have the chair that you always fall asleep in when you drink too much wine at my place.” Niall said with a smile.
Her eyes lit up at the lightheartedness in his voice.
“You can also have the shitty wine bottle opener you always leave behind because you don’t want it at your house.” He teased.
“It’s not shitty.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You just don’t know how to use it.”
“I don’t drink wine so I don’t need one.” Niall said defending himself.
“Yeah but I do. And so does Britt. You should have one just for us.” She said with an innocent smile.
He shook his head trying to convince his body that it didn’t need to show how he was truly feeling.
“I’ll buy you a better one when we get back. I’ve had my eyes on a really sick electric one so you can have the nice one at my house.” She said making him laugh.
“I can get one if ya want.” Niall offered.
She reached out and poked him in the chest. “No. You aren’t the only one who makes money around here Horan.”
“You’re right.” He blushed.
“How long are you going to be shark bait for?” She asked changing the subject for him.
“Dunno. I imagine it’ll be a few hours.” He shrugged.
“Unless something goes wrong.” She joked.
Georgina nudged him playfully before grinning. “Then I’ll be one chair richer.”
Niall’s infectious laugh filled the hallway as they both retreated to their rooms to get ready for the day.
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U N T I T L E D
It really sucks being in a place where i have no connections, no money, and nowhere to go to do drugs. Even the simolest of things like weed would make me happy at this point because at least i could sleep this fucking feeling off. I really hate feeling so useless and having no energy because im so fucking sad and loath myself so much. Nothing i do can male my life any better. Not the job i have, not the place i live, not traveling, nothing can make me happy. Im fucking useless and im at a dead end. Taking old perscription seroquel just to have a drug induced feeling is the only thing i have. And it doesnt make me happy. It doesnt make me sad. It doesnt do anything but make me sleep. I want something thats going to make me feel. I cant fucking drink because i always end up black out drunk puking trying to fight someone, crying to someone beghing them for help. Yet no one wants to help. I feel so sloppy and i hate it. I just wanna feel happy, even a come down, when i feel sad like i want to die, at least i put in a little more effort to my feelings. I have no connections to anything in this fucking town. I have no clue where to go to find any good shit anyways and im not getting played for my money. Money i dont even have yet. I sit here all day and casually talk about drugs and such to the people i live with, they never thing anything of it. Besides the fact that im an idiot. I call out for help for me being suicidal and yet no one wants to fucking help me they just say "well what do you want me to do?" I have to use every ounce of strength in my body not to beat the shit out of them. I have to use all of the will power i have not to jyst start fucking people for drugs. I dont want to be in that place, i dont want to do those things. I already dont like sex as much as it is, i dont want to have to constantly do it just to get high. Not only that but i really do think i am falling in love with my s/o and i wouldnt want to do that to them. Maybe when i move ill have more access to drugs, but everyone that got me started on this shit is all of the sudden theyre trying to stop. Good for them but holy hell i feel so selfish when i say it but fuck i want to be able to twak out with my friends the way we have been the past couple of months. My s/o used to be addicted really really bad to amphetamines. I feel so shitty for bringing it up to them when i want to talk about it, because i feel like i might make them relapse. And theyve done so good that i know of, i dont want to ruin their life again. But i feel like the only way i can prevent that is to not be with them, because i know the path im going down. I know im already starting to think about it cinstantly and wishing i had it all of the time its never off my brain its something i never dont want to feel. And as aweful as it sounds, I need it so i dont fucking kill myself. Its been about two years since i tried to kill myself last, about a year or so since i last carved myself. And i think im well over due, thats the fucking scary part. I didnt fucking expect to live this long and now that i have? What the fuck is the point of continuing? Is there ever a fucking point? Why should i force myself to keep living and being sad? I want to travel, but i know when i travel im going to end up getting head in ass addicted, and i dont know how aweful my come downs will be when i have to stop. I dont know if i will ever actually stop until im dead. I want to live life happy, and if i cant do that i might as well die. I know when i travel i would want to bring my s/o with me. Last time i traveled with a s/o i just ended up hurting my best friend. I dont ever want to hurt the people i love. I also dont want to force them to be around me while im twacked out all of the time because i know itll just end up making them relapse. This doesnt end well for anyone, and by this i mean me being alive. Im only going to constantly hurt the people i love in various ways. Im a toxic person and no one needs to be around me.
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superethikal · 7 years
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my friend gave me like, the most incredible advice ive ever gotten from someone ever in my life? holy shit
i haven’t talked to him in a while but i was playing ow with him today and catching up with him, i mentioned to him how i’ve been having a lot of struggles dealing with my life since ive been having a really rough time with my recent break up, and he actually gave me a lot of really good advice on what to do now since he also recently had to climb back from a really low point in his life
i need to start focusing on myself for the time being and giving myself more priority since i struggle with that a lot. ive heard this from a couple different people, but relationships work a lot better when you consider your own feelings first and understand the importance of yourself, because otherwise the relationship will be really straining and unfair on you. i also want to start focusing on bettering myself as a person like trying to exercise more and eat a little better and stuff, sitting down and seriously spending time on doing my schoolwork, and hanging out with friends and making new ones, cause i think itll help me feel better and make me function better cause ive been a huge mess lately.  
i also realize i need to think of relationships differently than i do right now. in my past relationship, it was a huge mistake of mine to get too attached, and i feel so foolish for being so dependent on another person like that, especially when im so young. im such an idiot for letting myself believe that a relationship at my age could really last forever, insisting on myself that it was totally meant to be and was an exception. how my friend had worded it was that attachment could be very dangerous, since the more you get attached, the more it hurts when things eventually come to an end. it definitely makes sense to me, and while its not like im never gonna get attached to anyone ever again or anything, i just don’t think i should allow myself to get attached to the same degree i had before, at least not until later in life. im sure this is a concept that everyone else understands, but idk i guess im just late to the party
i asked him about what i should do about finding someone new, because i thought for a little while that it might be easier to get over my past love by focusing on finding another person. luckily he let me know that’s a bad idea, since it would seem like im just looking for someone as a replacement to the absence i feel, which would be a horrible thing to do and would never work out and id never want to treat someone as such. however, he did give me some advice on how to hit on girls when i truly am ready to lol. it would require me to be brave and bold tho RIP, i think it’ll be hard since im so introverted and nervous at talking to people but im sure i can get there eventually. i have to still recover from this first
idk sorry this is a lot im kinda just rambling but im just really glad i was able to have this sorta conversation with him and he had so many good things to say and it was all really helpful, im a little more hopeful that ill eventually be able to get out of this rough time especially with the help he’s given me, even if its gonna take me a while
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apsbicepstraining · 6 years
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What 8 successful ADHDers crave you to know about how they get stuff done.
Whenever I’m working with my family, acquaintances, or peers, they ever ask me how I’m able to get so much better done.
My answer: “I have ADHD.”
That might resonate confusing, but realistically, parties with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least , not when we’re is currently working on something that excites us. In reality, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling acts were supposed to be doing.( Why soak the recipes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard casket and a disassembled vacuum cleaner ?)
Most beings with ADHD have to work 10 epoches harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and era administration abilities skills that other people develop naturally over occasion. While drug can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we offer more self-conscious attention to life hacks, remembrance maneuvers, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial arrangements … because we have to .
GIF via Checkoofilm/ YouTube.
Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own professions, perhaps because were built to tackle imaginative and entrepreneurial challenges.
While other people dont necessary to discover the same ploys that we do, they can benefit from them. In information, Id “re saying that” ADHDers have some of best available advisory opinions and rehearses for get stuff done even if we dont ever listen to that admonition ourselves .
GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”
Here are 21 productivity gratuities from beings with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from TAGEND
1. Habits are concepts you get free of charge. So get into ’em .
Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I ever start my period with meds, then a shower, then breathes, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are virtually self-automation, which represents less brainpower spent on the interesting thing.
2. Always have a backup( or two, or three) and know where to find it .
I deter additional cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my luggage at all periods. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about maintaining my phone charged.
3. Remember and alertings: love them and use them .
I even have a repetition 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I involve the reminder more than Id like to admit.( Also: IFTTT initiations to automate activities and sync between apps and accounts draw life behavior easier .)
GIF from “Despicable Me 2. “
4. Keep a calendar, and planned in the time it takes for “youve got to” do events .
If it takes you additional time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre projecting your daytime too.
5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage .
Do you get sleepy claim after lunch? Then perhaps dont dive into that intense assignment at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done subsequently? Then do that. Anatomy out what works for you, and follow that planned .
6. Find your tempo and stick with it .
Even if youre not the slow and steady category, a regular blueprint of sprint and remain can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting trounces in my manager to create a lilt, ” says Tv columnist/ director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever rationale, it helps me think through occasions in a different way.”
GIF via HIKAKIN/ YouTube.
7. Stir a schedule. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another .
Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do index on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger activities get their own rolls where they get broken down into smaller and smaller factors. The rolls also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”
GIF from “Monsters University.”
8. Prioritize action over attainment. Doing the thing.
This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Weighing your progress in a tangible road can assist you seem more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.
9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small-time .
If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine lift, then they are able to fake it by lodging a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English teach, provides an example: I can speak that breathtaking online fanfic IF I get three articles graded!
GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”
10. Turn the boring characters into a game .
I use a fitness watch which checks how many steps I take in a daylight and how many flights of stairs I clamber. Its fun to prepare the numbers go up , says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning scribe. She also reports her daily term count on Twitter, so that people are able to cheerlead her along.
11. Don’t dread the boring material. Just get it done. It’s faster that room .
Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the assignment, instead of on the time itll go for get onto done which, tells be honest, is perhaps less era than you think.( Of direction, although there are I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done .)
12. The more you give occasions pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them . Find a route to keep it fresh . Im a addictive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red-faced notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I differentiate all my emails as “read, ” then use an IFTTT trigger to prompt me later of things that is really require a follow-up or my attention.
GIF from “Community.”
13. If occasions decline your knowledge, visual clues can help .
You are well aware that mantra, “Out of view, out of mind? ” For parties with ADHD, that’s reasonably literal to a fault. So it makes it possible to stick events right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them . When I was in college, I videotapeed a postcard to my accommodation door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning castes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.
14. Work with your brain , not against it . Do you tend to lose your keys in the shower? Then make a new residence for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your impulses. Use their impetu to your advantage . And on that note
15. Embrace your peculiarities and find a way to draw them work for you.
Everyones brain is different. A mint of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having person tell us whats the right way to do stuffs. For illustration: If someone else leaves me a directory of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their thought, it exclusively reaches me disappointed and confused. I have to create my own to-do inventories in my own method even if it does take more time.
GIF from “Adventure Time.”
16. Take a end. Move around. Do a bit dance . Movement helps your intelligence get better. As alluring as it is to made the emphasis on discernible actions, its just as important to not do occasions and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little interval can give you a lot of new view .
I use a portable movable stand table and a duet of bluetooth headphones so that I can mostly dance in place and write at the same duration. My partner reputes I’m weird, but it works.
17. Know when to call it a era . Its important to abide when youve reached the object of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a respite, and come back to it fresh the next day . This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you ability through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.
GIF via ilvbunnies/ YouTube.
18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and be transmitted to others .
“My peers are well aware that in exchange for abiding all the things I do that reach me little dependable, they get a guy who are in a position think outside the box, that can create on the operate, that can wear numerous hats at once, ” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.
“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately following chat rather than on email. Give your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”
19. Retain your seeing on the reward, but f orgive yourself and others . Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy hitting yourself up .( Youre not going to help anybody else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either .)
GIF from the SAG Awards.
20. Set your goals, but remain flexible.
Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, “re coming” with a new programme, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which fetches me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson TAGEND
21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for the purposes of an good productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inescapable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.
But you do have a mentality. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”
ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.
There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.
Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and continue feeling things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business seek, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or plainly recollecting to put your underwear on before your pants.
If that last part is a measurable clue, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.
The post What 8 successful ADHDers crave you to know about how they get stuff done. appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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futanaritalizorah · 7 years
Text
Please...let me sleep... *hugs shiba kiba inu tight* my body refuses this medicine...i just feel exhausted all the time as a result...ans tonight in particular i canr shut my brain off...just long enough to stop being sick... I pray harder...i told connor i used to pray to god...angry but...i founf myseld being more thankful...this was months ago...now i find myself just praying for forgiveness...praying for more...more for us...there has to be more...i prqy until i fall asleep...cause i dont want my mind to wander...i pray cquse i have to believe theres some purpose to it all... i pray Cause if you cant give closure...rhen god certainly will...im in his hands.... So i pray now...cause im scared...and lonely...and tired...and exhausted...and just wanting resf from being sick every other time....i pray xause all i have is shiba kiba inu. And i hope nemo still looks out for you as shiba kiba inu does for me on nivhts like these. Or mornings im a wreck and wont haul my ass out of bed. Im a mess This fever has me so emotional too so gr9 Ugh i just wanna know whag i did wrong When theres a liar right in your face. Theyre nor even rral. They xatfiahed a person...they told ypu i banned them feom ts when i didnt do sucg a thing....why am i still the one thats the liar t.T i pointed oit they mighr use uou and...so what...now im at fault? We all got played yet i feel like im mpre wrong for knowing it than the person eho was actually responsible...t.T Wpply that to wvery other sitition. I wasnt responsible for people leaving. Thwy left xause of their own accord t.T im tired of being blamed I wanna be blamed for beinf stupid for stayibf tgis lonf. I want jose eric ans savid to slap me causr i stayed when they told me i need to looj out for myself t.t i wanna slap myself xause i was nice and stupid and dis things out of love for you but...where was thay love foe me. Why didnt i love myself enough to know i deserve better. Self respect. Why. Connor. Ufh. Connor. I told connor i prayed kinder things now. He left me as well. He left me as well. But i dont vlame him. I wouldnt wanna see me in this rut either. Hugs shiba kiba inu hugs harder* :c i dojt vlame people for wanting to leave me Please god just let me sleep T.T my mind is tired tonight. Please never let him feel this way. Ever. Cauae its so crippling to live this way. I hate crawling our of bed in the afternoon T.T i hate aleeping angry. Confusrd. Sad. Lonely. Betrayed. Usrd. I haye not beinf comfortable in my own skin because every ounce of love was misconstdued and tuened against me. That kell hoe catfished and im still cwlled manipulativw. Fun fact: kell lied. Not me. Kell lied about his/her/ their life. So they lied avout whay thwy told uou. Aris has photos. Gold has experience. Val has screen shots. Kevin streamed it all. Theres picture qns video peoof. And you chose fqke eveeu time. Thats not on ME cwuse YOU chosr fqke. I cant bring myself to be around you cause im not gonna be confused as one of those fake friends. You treat those frienda you,have well. They...are a solid 100% bunch. I was fown and shit on myself and...each one...showed up...they sgowed up abd made sure i was ok. You have great friends. Dobt confuse a pretry fucking catfishing face as a friwnd Because i lost a friend too when i found about kell. She promisrd she woildnt hurt me. And look who cobtrivuted to mwking a mockery of my,life. Kell fucked me up in ways you wont understand. All you see is a pretrt xatfishibg giel thay rwjected ypu. Worse? She played with youe fwelings. But i could have told u thay. Elligator (that fucker you were fihting with in allies?) Also had a thibg going on with kell before ann. Surprise. Ik that cwuse kell played innocent but i didnt judge. Not until she stwrted making you into one of hee toys too. You idiot. I looked out for you. Kelsrara? U told the gm not to t2ll me cwus3 im crazy. And im your ex. You idiot. I knew long befoee becwuse kelsara kept harassinf me.i have ss of thay as well. In fact keyrus had to step in becaus3 kelsara just wouldnt stop harassibf me T.t you wnna se eharasment?? You fucking see the shit i had to deal with because od the lies *you* made and the mistakes *you* made. I had to deal with the afteemath abd i had to d3al with youe byllshit when u went aeound and told people slander aboht me. I knew! And i didnt *hate* you. What made me not stqnd yoy was your lies about me! Ask kell! I knew about kelsar! I knew! Ask aris! Yet i didnt fucking attack you qbout it when you cqme back to the gqme. I knew and i didnt bothee you qbout it T.T i deqlt with it. Like a fuckong human. I dealth with it So dont yoy fucking say you didnt hurt me. Cause you hqve no right to sqy you didnt hurt me. Cwuse thqts qll ive felt. Alll i wanted to hear was a solid stoey od what i did to you. Not one of them hqd stoei3s vexauae you hqve none. I loved you. With qll my heart. I cared too muchm that is called love So fuckinf decide if you want real or fake. Cquse i gave you real stories that are long lasting. Your lies will run out. You wre more thwn thia so stop lyinf. You left the pawn shop cquse you didnt like tueninf people away. You wanted to help. Stop calling me crazy and every othee shot when i speak the world of you despite qll this shit you keep pilinf on me. Knoe who made tge mistakes. I didnt fuckinf do shit with kell or kelsarq. Those were your mistakes. Not mine. In fact i told everyone rlse the sqme shit. I told them to ruck pff you xause you made mistqkes vut you dont deserve to be crucified. We qll deserve bettee *hugs shiba kiba inu* Im tired of sobbing qnd nobody hears a thinf. Fuxkinf do me a favor and log into swtor. Fuckinf app is too nuch of a pussu to tqlk to you avout liquidatinf. He wants to sell the fuild. If you dobt log in > he gets gm > he sells the guild O am i mqnipulativw again? No you fuck. Peoplr have disappointed me relebtlessly. I am the burxen of bad news. Why? Cause i fucking tqlk 5o them. I listen. That is how i know. So fucking get online and kick or whatever or discuss it witha pp. O hate hes doinf this when he could just discuss it. Ill hqte myself foe tellinf u thos cquse youll find a way to say i wqs reaponsible foe it. And ill hqte you for blaming me again. And then ill hqte myself cause i let you blame me agaib. I warned you cause youre a friebd...or...once a friend...idk...you said we werent driensa...you tell me Ik where i wanna stand. Im tired of feeling lost like an animal looking dor a home. I sound angey tellinf you this but underatand where im coming feom. My options are thin. You dobt teust me for God knows what reason. Here, lets say app doea get the guild and aella it...youre fonna blame me xquse i simply *knew* about it. But im hoping you know bettwe than to do that cause i pointed it out before it happened. I cqnt even comfortably talk to app abymore ever aince he admitted to wanting to liquidate shit. So i cant. I cqnt wqtch this unwind in front of me. I cqnr watch a supposed friend of yours liquidate the guild. And what? Youll come back homeless? I cqnt watch cause your "friend" is reaponsible for that Lets say i could have warned you. Could i have? Could i prwvwnt this feom hqppenibg? Or will you blow it in my face as me teykng to mqnipulatw people This was apps idea. Npt mine. Im simply relaying tge msg. I never hated you. So get your fucking eggs in a line. Cause im not th3 one fucking you,over. Kell, kels, and now...possibly app Thats what im deqlinf with even tho,youve been gone. I wish app wpuld just discuss it with you. He thinjs youre gone forever. Nah. I doubt it. Othwrwise that fuild would be gone officiaply. God just fix your shit before you blame me for it. I gried so hard. You kee0 nlaming me for wbeeythinv goinf weonf in your life. I only remember being ypue biggest supportwr next to your mom. What the fuck ever. I warned you...so please...dont hate me for knpwing...he might npt liquidate it if you come back to the game...itll give him a reason to play...but...sigh...im tired of beinf the bad person...i try to avoid peoppe from seeinf u thay way...uve just had toufh days...but...u uraeld paint me in that light... So ..self respect... whats wronf with me
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yua-shizuka · 7 years
Text
What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.
Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.
My answer: “I have ADHD.”
That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)
Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.
GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.
Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.
While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.
GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”
Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:
1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.
Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.
2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.
I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.
3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.
I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)
GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”
4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.
If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.
5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.
Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.
6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.
Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”
GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.
7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.
Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”
GIF from “Monsters University.”
8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.
This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.
9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.
If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!
GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”
10. Turn the boring parts into a game.
I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.
11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.
Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)
12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.
Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.
GIF from “Community.”
13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.
You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.
14. Work with your brain, not against it.
Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note
15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.
Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.
GIF from “Adventure Time.”
16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.
Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.
I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.
17. Know when to call it a day.
Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.
GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.
18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.
“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.
“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”
19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.
Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)
GIF from the SAG Awards.
20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.
Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:
21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.
But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”
ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.
There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.
Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.
If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.
Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done
from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/
0 notes
What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.
Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.
My answer: “I have ADHD.”
That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)
Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.
GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.
Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.
While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.
GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”
Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:
1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.
Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.
2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.
I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.
3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.
I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)
GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”
4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.
If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.
5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.
Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.
6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.
Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”
GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.
7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.
Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”
GIF from “Monsters University.”
8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.
This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.
9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.
If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!
GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”
10. Turn the boring parts into a game.
I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.
11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.
Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)
12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.
Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.
GIF from “Community.”
13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.
You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.
14. Work with your brain, not against it.
Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note
15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.
Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.
GIF from “Adventure Time.”
16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.
Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.
I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.
17. Know when to call it a day.
Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.
GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.
18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.
“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.
“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”
19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.
Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)
GIF from the SAG Awards.
20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.
Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:
21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.
But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”
ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.
There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.
Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.
If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.
Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done
from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/
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