#ancient fucking post

[bizarrelittlemew]

ofmd x tumblr

#ofmd tumblr text posts #incorrect quotes #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #ofmd gifs #tumblr screenshot #ofmd 2x4 #our flag means death #ofmd x tumblr #i am putting wayyy to much work into these but at least i'm having fun <3 #s2 is so dark i have to recolor my ancient screenshots #been holding onto the last one for a year thinking “hm this has ed energy but there's no fitting clip in s1” AND THEN S2 FUCKING DELIVERED #ofmd crack

[fauxbia]

you've heard of rot/infection swap... what if we took it one step further

teehee wahoo

#rain world #hollow knight #hk ghost #hk hollow #ahuughuugh #that moment when... #i actually had this idea like forever ago but i just never posted it ... #hornet is an ancient in this hypothetical swap that just went “ascending is for fucking losers” #teehee wahoo. #you can tell which doodle i put a bit more effort into. #faux art

[vetteldixon]

seblr vs the world

#sebastian vettel #f1 #we are so fucking back #imola gp 2024 #f1 memms #blatantly ripped from an ancient post from a deactivated user godbless #i plan on abusing this amen

[nevertheless-moving]

unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.

Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.

and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.

(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)

Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self. 

Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.

The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?

Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!

Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and— 

Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—

You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...

What—when did you lose—

I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...

So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.

And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.

When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.

Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.

It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.

Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.

Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??

the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.

Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.

FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?

“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.

Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)

And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.

Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic,  being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.

Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life. 

Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.

Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.

Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.

It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal. 

Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.

What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.

I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.

So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.

Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.

Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—

well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—

and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?

i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”

Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).

But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.

Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.

And then the partners change again, the moment ended.

Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.

Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.

Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.

Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.

needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.

Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.

Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )

Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?

And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?

Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell) Scene from the Uberwald Grand Sneer

#discworld #sam vimes #discworld au #nightwatch au #i literally drafted this post in December 2021 #and i know it was living in my head for years already at that point #i have more somewhere aging like cheese in the back of my mind #discworld fanfic #night watch #Let this be free from my mind #Perhaps someone else will write it #BE FREE ANCIENT AU OF MY SOUL #For all my obsession with discworld I have but this one (1) AU though it tears at me like the seam of a pair of pants #The songs I have permanently associated with this au are slightly bonkers by the way #My au #Seriously there's like two full novels worth of content up here. Sybyll running away from home and living as a commoner #To mirror Sam joining upper class in original timeline you see? #Some early discworld murder Wizard nonsense when they try to poke at the temporal anomaly and the universe goes brrrr #Eventually catching up with color of Magic city burning bs and vimes is mad as fuck #Weird year that never was protecting people during sourcery #And when we start catching up with where he left #Oh ho ho you can't to forward to something that doesn't exist but maybe you can go sideways to a place that's got a tear in it #A sam vimes shaped tear #And his pregnant wife from 30 years ago in the other trouser leg #AND that's not even mentioning how carcers trial got taken to a...higher court

[ganondoodle]

(wip- OC)

felt like i needed to do one of my typical character (re)design things tm so i chose this lad who doesnt even have a name still, he will get his cool coat back dw uwu

idk if im making him more or less unique/interesting bc of how my OCs usually look these days ... he fits well to the other updated designs .. but maybe too well :/

(also not a demon but one of the ... animal/sea people like ki'ita, this lad isnt directly based on a specific one, just kinda ..tentacly)

#ganondoodles #art #character design #wip #oc art #original character #still dont know a name for him ... #hes the leader of his people #also married to ... another oc i havent drawn in ages #one of the fewer human ocs i got #hes called midas an plays a rather big role #idk what im rambling on for here #not like i post enough that anyone would know who the fuck midas is nhfdjksnhksddsk #(he is not obsessed with gold or anything i literally just liked the name back when i first created him) #nearly all my ocs are actually really really really ancient ocs recycled over and over lol #not this nameless lad though

[themoonking]

the book trend that needs to be left in the dust for the new year is greek mythology retellings. i am so sick and tired of "retellings" of greek (or roman, but mainly greek) mythology from authors that clearly have a very surface level pop cultural understanding of the myth(s) they're adapting and the culture(s) they're depicting. especially the many that market themselves as "feminist retellings" where the "feminism" is basically just "men bad sometimes", and especially when they're "feminist retellings" that take some of the few mythological women who get happy endings and take it away from them for the sake of saying "men bad sometimes". it's all so shallow and they exploded this year and i'm sick of it.

#i wish so fucking much to read one (1) singular actually good feminist retelling of greek mythology #but they're always so shallow both in their messaging and their understanding of ancient greek culture and religion #i speak #anti booktok #sort of anyway? #greek mythology #bc i can't make a single post tangentially about myth without bitching about medusa: #so many people in publishing clearly got everything they learned about medusa from popular online depictions #and especially the books that are specifically about medusa blending greek and roman mythology despite them having very distinct elements

[sharkgirldick]

Not to be controversial to my most beloved audience members but. I think people who wish they weren't human or believe they aren't human have one of the most fundamentally human beliefs.

#text post #this isn't to mock these people or say they're wrong. wanting to be something other than a person is an incredibly ancient line of thought. #how many people through time have wished they had a lion's claws or a deer's speed? #how many people thought that deep in their soul they were an animal? #fuck how many wished they were a stone at the bottom of a stream or a cloud high in the sky? #wanting to be something other is so human I don't even know how to describe it better than this. and I think it's kinda beautiful.

[fortjester]

i think that tlt fic writers (myself included) are sleeping on matthias nonius. i think we should be making more use of him! walk w me for a second, okay? this bitch became a name that readers associated with groaning and complaining and "boring" verse - only for him to come out swinging when he actually hit the page, thereby rending us all asunder. he saved the fucking day, against all odds, and he did it while speaking in meter!!! is that not sick as hell? is that not actually fucking hilarious?? this man is so powerful, he's so cool, he's got immense swag, and i think that if you play it right, having nonius fix whatever plot drama you have going oddly makes sense (the way it did in htn). using deus ex nonius in your fics is an option, and i think we could all benefit from it

#tlt #the locked tomb #my post #fuck off lou #htn #harrow the ninth #matthias nonius #i love minor characters who play a small but vital role in the story and get forgotten by fans #honestly i fully understand where ortus was coming from #if all MY friends died and i was stuck on the dreariest planet w the worst birthright #i too would bury myself in writing ancient hometown hero rpf #especially if that ancient hometown hero was nonius #(i just probably wouldnt do it in verse but hey who am i to judge) #im normal abt this guy #and i would like to see him featured in fics as more than ortus' boyfriend

[starflungwaddledee]

what is the name of the awtdy au? it looks to be an acronym of some sort

(any more stuff about the au in general is welcomed)

correct! here's the two page comic i made to answer this question instead of just typing out five words like a normal person because i am nothing if not committed!

#hopefully this fills the 'any more stuff' prompt though! #another potential title was “the infinity integer” which tbh i think still goes SO hard #anyway this is pretty much the nuts and bolts of the core AU #magolor teaches bandee how to build ancient artifacts and solve time anomalies #bandee teaches magolor how to feel a fucking feeling #awtdy au #my art #my comics #bandana waddle dee #magolor #cw injury #also i think this goes without saying but just due to a message i received last time i posted about them: #i have always headcanoned that they're both adults of the same age. #this scene is actually completely platonic but i'm going to tag this anyway just in case for folks who specifically want to avoid it -> #bandee x magolor #🍎

[harriertail]

modern life //  ancient history

revamping oc leaders.

#warrior cats #warrior cats ocs #warrior cats designs #the new dawn #tons of fucking Lore for these guys i will probs do a separate post for each Clan and maybe each ancient/modern bit too #top are the Lowland leaders bottom four are the Highland leaders #SleetClan leaders have diff names becoz they have a diff system #the ancient leaders are on paler backgrounds and have an alternate title that they are remembered by #harriertail #character design

[manichewitz]

im going insane over this tweet because absolutely no one in the comments knew about ea-nasir?? no one had even heard about this or seen this photo before?? like??? i fully forgot that the story of ea-nasir and his mid copper is not an important historical event outside of tumblr dot com. i feel like i’ve been transported into a different and worse reality and i would like to go back

#also the way i’ve seen that exact photo before from someone’s tumblr post about it #this is making me insane #the way things travel from tumblr to other sites is just. so fucking weird #what do you MEAN you dont know about ea-nasir and his copper what do you MEAN #twitter #x (twitter) #ea nasir #ancient history #babylonian history #copper #clay tablets #heritage post #heritage posts #.txt #alex talks

[vivitalks]

more adhd jason grace or die by my sword

#jason grace #heroes of olympus #pjo #riordanverse #is he a strong leader. yes. is he the most forgetful man you ever met. also yes #could he kill you with a lightning strike. yes. does he often get lost in his activity du jour and forget to sleep. ALSO YES #stuff #also side note - more dyslexic jason specifically struggling at chb #where everything is labeled in ancient greek for the greek demigods' ease of comprehension #this is a fic waiting to happen but like #jason being completely lost with every sign around camp because his latin wired brain can't read that shit #he doesnt say anything because he's like 'im the guest here i should just learn ancient greek' #easier said than done his brain Rebels against learning it he tries but none of it seems to stick #until someone notices how jason will just blank-stare the sign posted on the armory door that says 'closed for cleaning' #and it's written in english too but that doesn't help jason he's almost as bad at reading in english as he is in ancient greek #so he DEFINITELY cant read the smaller print that says 'do not enter under threat of being eaten by cleaning harpies' #and our man just walks right in and almost gets eaten lmao #and then nico or someone is like. hmm. has anyone considered that this roman dyslexic demigod just cant fucking read ancient greek lmao #cue a campwide project to add latin to all the signs #these tags are a runaway train i just want more adhd dyslexic jason grace that's all

[exhausted-undead]

okay, so it's still cool to do mermay drawings right??? right??? also warning for fish titties

#erik's design was inspired by nipuni's gorgeous mermay post from earlier this year! #so in this I'd like to imagine christine as a newly released pet fish/goldfish #and she just comes across this ancient behemoth of erik and is like “oh fuck yeah a friend” #overall a fluffy au but also i put too much brain thoughts into these fish designs #phantom of the opera #art #digital artist #poto #erik poto #artists on tumblr #christine daae #phanart #the phantom of the opera #mermay

[trans-cuchulainn]

i don't know who needs to hear this but asserting a belief as existing "in lore" without specifying what "lore", from when and where, or indeed naming any kind of actual source makes you look like you just pulled that "historical fact" out of your arse

#i do know who needs to hear this and it's a very large number of people posting about folk beliefs on twitter #i'm not saying those folk beliefs don't exist but damn it would be nice to be able to follow up on them occasionally #'in lore' what lore. what fucking lore. what country. what century. #is this an ancient roman belief or a 19th century scottish idea or what. those are wildly different things. come on man

[vaporwavejuice]

“hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“boris what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

#sorry i know this post is fucking ancient #but i always forget i have a pic of habit hidden in my phone case #and when i remember i think of this #smile for me #boris habit #dr habit #s4m game #mine

[tofixtheshadows]

I keep thinking that King Laios is gonna have a real hard time, politically, with dwarves post canon. I think it's established that dwarves have the most beef with elves (though this might also apply to gnomes to a lesser extent, given Tansu's opinions) and I'm sure they would have their hackles raised over the continent chocked full of concentrated mana that suddenly appeared from the depths due to ancient magic right after the Canaries went in and fucked around.

Worse, the king's court magician is a half elf, and his royal advisor, once they get intel on him, will turn out to be some tallman elf pet straight from the elven capital. And their court was established with a live-in elven ambassador (Pattadol) from day one. Just like in the canon timeline, a bunch of completely innocent circumstances have converged to paint a horribly suspicious picture. The Golden Country folks are gonna have a hell of a time convincing the world that they're not an elven puppet-state. This is designed to give Kabru a chronic migraine.

#TO BE CLEAR: I am not calling Kabru a pet. But that is exactly what other long-lived people would assume about him. #this post is useless I am just speaking to myself. Kui what have you done to me I cannot stop rotating postcanon speculations in my head. #like I'm not crazy right Kabru is gonna have so many racists accusing him of being an elven spy/meddler whispering in Laios's ear #Golden Country trio my beloveds.... #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #oh PLUS the dungeon had a lot of ancient dwarven architecture in it ... they might not be happy about that #musings with Dea #I need fandom to stop fucking around with ********* **** and give me more kingdom building political intrigue fics