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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

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Longitudinalwaveme Reviews Old Comics, Part 5

Our next comics is Flash vol. 2 #58 (1992): “The Barry Allen Foundation”. The comic was written by Bill Messner-Loebs, drawn Greg La Roque, inked by Jose Martin Jr., lettered by Tim Harkins, and colored by Glenn Whitmore.

This story, starring the Wally West Flash, begins with Flash talking to his friend Chunk about his tax debts, which he’s paying off with money he received from the Icicle’s estate (long story). Ben Hayes, Wally’s lawyer, is planning to put the money into a series of interlocking charitable organizations, all of which will hire his security for a monthly fee. This will allow Wally to make a lot of money (and also to help people, but he seems a lot less concerned about that.) Connie Noleski, Wally’s current girlfriend, comes over to visit just as Wally leaves. She and Chunk are clearly starting to develop feelings for one another, since Wally is more preoccupied with his own life than he is with her and she feels neglected.

Meanwhile, at the legal meeting for the Icicle’s will, the lawyer for the Icicle’s surviving relatives is still trying to get as much money for his clients as he can, and he does so by denying the need for charities. Linda Park is also in attendance. Suddenly, Abra Kadabra shows up and transports everyone to the Turtle’s old underground hideout (also a long story). When they arrive and go underground, Kadabra turns out to not be Kadabra at all, but rather someone else entirely...someone who’s working for the Pied Piper!

Piper welcomes Wally, Linda, and Hayes to Sherwood, and introduces not-Kadabra as Stringy, a man whose only “power” is stretching his arms and legs out three feet. Piper then uses his flute to neutralize the Flash’s speed (much to Linda’s annoyance), and introduces a few other people with minor powers. Piper says that the government could train or help them if it wanted to, but because it doesn’t see use in them, it’s abandoned them...as well as a large number of people who have been left homeless by superhero battles and alien invasions (or simple bad luck). Piper protects them. He volunteers to show Wally and Linda how...but first, he gives them copies of his own costume (the original one, with the polka-dots and the green nightcap). Another of the metahumans teleports them to a restaurant...whose employees gladly donate its unused food (albeit slightly illegally).

Piper then tells Wally that he brought them here to show them who they were fighting over in court when talking about charity (and also reveals that when he asked Wally for shoe money, it went to all the people who live in Sherwood, bless).

Wally then returns home, declares that he wants all the money to go to a single foundation, even if it means that he, personally, gets no money. He names it the Barry Allen Foundation (awww)...only to be visited by the new Icicle, a female descendant of the original who has decided that becoming a crimefighter will give her life new meaning. Wally then calls Connie, puts his foot in his mouth by telling her how awesome the new Icicle looks, and the issue ends with her clearly upset with him.

This is a wonderful issue with a very important message about not overlooking the marginalized. Piper is easily the best part of it, but Wally (and his character development) is great, too. And it’s always nice to see early Linda. I really love that Wally named his charitable organization after his uncle (who was himself a big supporter of charity), and Piper is a precious cinnamon roll who must be protected. Messner-Loebs’ work on the Piper is what made the guy such a great character, and it really shows here.

#flash comics #dc comics #pied piper #flash rogues #wally west

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nightcoremoon · 3 years

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so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

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daresplaining · 6 years

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Iron Fist Season 2 Teaser Analysis

The Marvel gods have answered our prayers-- we are getting Iron Fist Season 2 next! This makes sense for every possible reason: it directly follows up on Danny and Colleen’s appearances in Luke Cage Season 2 and Misty’s leap between the two shows, and it allows for all of the original Netflix shows to get second seasons before moving on to phase three. (The Punisher came late, so we’ll accept its second season coming after Daredevil’s third.) Danny’s story this season will be partly informed by Matt’s sacrifice, so it makes sense to tell it before Matt reappears. Plus, these characters are on the cusp of so many exciting things that waiting any longer for the second season would have been pure torture. Matt can stay “dead” for a little bit longer. He’ll be fine.

With that in mind, the Iron Fist panel at SDCC did its job perfectly, by giving us a lot of information... but also not much. It revealed that the show will air on September 7th, in keeping with the new schedule of three months between releases. It confirmed last year’s announcement that Misty will be taking her rightful place in the Iron Fist world (she debuted in Danny’s introductory series in the comics, and has been an Iron Fist character for most of her existence, so it’s about time!). It revealed that we will be getting a Steel Serpent plotline-- which we’d assumed, but is still really, really exciting. It revealed that Alice Eve will be playing-- of all people-- Typhoid Mary, who is a Daredevil character! And it revealed that Danny will be taking to the streets of New York for the first time as a real superhero.

This last revelation is the focus of the first teaser, which-- like most teasers-- gives us barely any information. But we’re still going to geek out about it.

It wouldn’t be a Marvel/Netflix trailer without an aerial shot of Manhattan...

The badassery of this teaser is offset by how adorable and non-threatening Danny’s shoes are-- which completely, 100% fits the Iron Fist tradition.

One detail we’ve always loved about Danny is that unlike many of Marvel’s street-level characters, he’s not really a NYC superhero (and we’ve discussed this before, but I’m going to discuss it again, because that’s how much it fascinates me). His primary city will always be K’un-Lun, and though he spends most of his time on Earth, K’un-Lun is where his heart lies. Even in modern comics, after all this time, he views his trips to K’un-Lun as journeys home. Thus, he has a very complicated relationship with New York City. He ends up stuck there under painful circumstances and has no choice but to try to build a life for himself there. In early Iron Fist comics an extreme distinction was made between the Iron Fist and Danny Rand identities; eight issues pass before we even see him take off his mask for the first time.

Danny: “For the past decade, I have been little more than a living weapon-- the pride of K’un Lun. Your world holds nothing but bitter memories for me and yet I cannot return to K’un Lun for nine years. The one man who knew how to enter the city at other than the appointed times... is dead.”

Lee: “What of the man named Daniel Rand, Iron Fist? Surely the world offers him something.”

Danny: “And who is this Daniel Rand, professor? I’ve never taken the time to find out, I fear.”

Colleen: “[...] Maybe it’s time you took off your mask and started finding out about that Rand fella. You might like him.”

Marvel Premiere #22 by Tony Isabella, Arvell Jones, and George Rouses

This huge separation between Danny’s identities is a quirk of his very early appearances, and as later comics have dug deeper into his childhood in K’un-Lun, it has become diminished within the standard Iron Fist continuity. But the fact remains that Danny’s connection to NYC (as represented here by his Daniel Rand identity) is basically nonexistent when he first arrives on Earth, and is something that he builds up slowly over time. He finds a certain amount of appeal in New York City, mostly through the close friendships he forms there, but as the years pass he still feels like an outsider, caught between two worlds, longing to return to K’un-Lun. (Eventually, his relationship with K’un-Lun becomes complicated too... but that’s a topic for another post.) He becomes a New York hero out of necessity.

In the Netflix shows, we have witnessed the same process. Danny comes to New York in pursuit of what turns out to be revenge. He struggles through tremendous identity issues-- he tries to rediscover who he is as Danny Rand, and then as Iron Fist, and then tries to find a way to reconcile these separate identities. Then, when he tries to return home (with Colleen! We need to mention how cool that is), he discovers that something has happened to K’un-Lun. That mystery has informed all of his subsequent plotlines. He is convinced that K’un-Lun has been destroyed, and the burden of that perceived failure haunts him. However, in The Defenders the Hand seem to imply that the city is still there, and by Luke Cage Season 2 Danny seems to have reached that same conclusion, for reasons that remain unclear. We are desperate to find out the truth, because it’s such a mystery, and such an important part of Danny’s story. More to the point-- we need K’un-Lun to still be around. It has been destroyed several times in the comics, and it always comes back, but we need it in this story. It’s a great setting that needs to be explored further, and Danny’s role as the Iron Fist in K’un-Lun and his relationships there are hugely important. It sounds like we will be getting a lot of flashbacks to his childhood and training, particularly focused around his relationship with Davos, but we're hoping for some present-day K’un-Lun too. Returning to the city would allow him to redeem himself for his perceived failures, it would give him the opportunity for further training (as he has not yet reached his full potential as an Immortal Weapon), and it is-- or should be-- a necessary part of his finally coming full circle and cementing his role and identity as the Iron Fist (which would ideally result in his getting the costume too!).

But either way, what matters here is that Danny has, at least for the moment, adopted NYC as a new city to protect. In The Defenders, after his perceived failure, he latches on to New York as a second chance; he failed K’un-Lun, but he won’t fail this other city. This mission is cemented by Matt’s final words to him. As the Iron Fist on Earth, Danny needs a purpose and sense of direction, and Matt’s plea for him to protect New York gives him that. This ties into another facet of Danny that we love, which we’ve talked about before: his status as a “professional hero”. He’s not a superhero in the traditional sense, and this season we’re going to see him figuring out that career path.

The teaser centers around Danny interrupting what is either a standard back-alley mugging or some kind of gang violence. In the comics, Danny’s first big act as a superhero on the streets of New York is combatting the Golden Tigers, a Chinatown-based gang run by a mob boss named Robert Hao, a.k.a. Chaka.

Danny: “--And if Chaka wants to know what’s happened to this month’s drug shipment, you tell him Iron Fist happened! And you tell him that this is only the beginning! I’m going to take his empire apart, bit by slimy bit-- until there’s nothing left! And then I’m going to take Chaka apart the same way!”

Iron Fist vol. 1 #10 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Bonnie Wilford

Danny works with A.D.A. Bill Hao (Chaka’s brother) and Colleen and Misty to take the gang down. He gets framed for murder (...again) partway through, but all-in-all, it’s not a bad superhero debut. If this season will be bringing in this type of street-level crimefighting, it’s possible the Golden Tigers could make an appearance. An orange tiger symbol has even appeared in some of the promotional material:

(More on this image later...)

During their SDCC appearances, the cast and crew spent a lot of time discussing this season’s stunt choreography. The new stunt coordinator, Clayton Barber, who also worked on Black Panther, explained that he was going for a “punk rock”, old-school kung fu vibe, and cited Jackie Chan’s work as a primary influence. The cast described being pushed to their physical limits (Alice Eve was apparently instructed to “change [her] relationship with pain” for her fights as Typhoid Mary), resulting in most of this season’s stunt-work being performed by the actors themselves.

So first of all... that sounds freaking hardcore, and kudos to everyone involved. We can’t wait to see all of this hard work in action. We loved the fights in Season 1, and if they’re going to be even better in Season 2, then whooo boy, we’re ready! And that’s as it should be. Iron Fist is a martial arts franchise moreso than any of the other shows, and so its fights should be the most technically impressive. Just this small taste of Danny kicking butt in the teaser has us really excited.

In the comics, early-on, Danny tried to have a secret identity for the sake of convenience. It’s never been as much of a thing for him as it has been for, say, Matt Murdock, and he hasn’t had an actual secret identity for a while now. But in this universe, he’s clearly not even bothering. While Iron Fist isn’t a big name in the NYC hero/villain world yet, in Luke Cage Season 2 we learned that Danny is starting to develop a reputation. Turk recognizes him on sight and mentions hearing about his run-in with the Triads. Clearly, that reputation will be growing significantly in this season of Iron Fist, and we’re eager to see how it will mesh with his already well-known civilian identity (which also isn’t nearly as much of a thing in the comics). “Rand Enterprises Co-Chair Has Magical Kung Fu Powers” sounds like a great headline, and Karen can have it for free.

Though of course, we’re expecting Danny to have his costume by the end of the season.

This is a new logo! We liked last season’s a bit better-- it was more dynamic, and this one seems a little sparse. But it reflects differences in this season’s themes/tone, and it’s neat to see that kind of thing integrated into the show’s branding (we'd love for the other shows to do this too). While last’s season’s logo invoked K’un-Lun in its coloring, the background snow/sparks/smoke motif, the typeface, and the integration of the Shou-Lao symbol into the words themselves, this one is much starker, colder, utilitarian. It invokes New York City. One detail we particularly like is the fact that the “O” is still a stylized, extremely minimalist translation of the Shou-Lao symbol.

One last note: the Iron Fist Twitter account has been posting daily images of storefronts. These, along with the new logo and the neon motif used in the promos at SDCC, tie into the theme of Danny operating on the streets of New York. But more importantly, they’re accompanied by phrases that are most likely episode titles. Last season, the episodes were named after kung fu techniques (both real and comics-based). This season, they’re going right back to the source material and using the titles of various Iron Fist-relevant issues! "The Fury of Iron Fist”, for instance, is the title of Marvel Premiere #15-- Danny’s introductory issue, and “The City’s Not For Burning” from earlier in the post is Iron Fist vol. 1 #3. We’ll make a comprehensive post either here or on our Iron Fist blog (probably both) once all of the titles have been revealed.

The fact that they started flinging out episode titles within hours of releasing the very first teaser suggests an accelerated promotional schedule-- which makes sense, because September 7th is only six-and-a-half weeks away! It can’t come soon enough for us; we’ve been counting the days since Season 1′s cliffhanger ending, and everything we’ve heard so far about Season 2 sounds amazing.

#Iron Fist spoilers #Netflix Iron Fist #Iron Fist #Commentary

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davidmann95 · 7 years

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Where does Robin stands nowadays in the Batman's world in your opinion? How different is it from where it started in the DCU?

Over 78 years and at least 4 ‘main’ versions, yeah:there’ve been some changes.

The thing about Robin though, in terms of how he grewalongside Batman? For the first 30ish years of his existence, he’s not actuallya character; he’s an accessory, another item on the utility belt, albeit oneBatman cared about a lot more than a grapple gun or flashbang. Past that greatpage with him and Batman swearing the vow by candlelight, providing valuablesymbolism and context for (much) later on - and even there, Batman’s emotionsand motivations for bringing this kid into his world amount to “Well, Iguess you and I were both victims of a similar trouble.” - Dick’s just*there*, the junior crimefighter, thrown in to add variety to fight scenes andgive his partner someone to bounce dialogue off of. As little as the comicsbrought up Batman’s parents dying in a filthy alley back then, it at leastoccasionally merited a mention, whereas I could almost believe you if you toldme Robin’s origin was literally never brought up again for the first 20 yearsof his career.

To be clear, that’s not at all a failing of those stories. Robin’s great even then, a fitting splash of color into Batman’s world thatpaved the way for further weirdness down the line and a great design in his ownright (even if the lack of pants hasn’t aged as well as Superman or Batman’slooks at the time), as well as a reader-identification figure in a time whenhanging out with Batman still seemed like a fun prospect. But compared to itsbig rival in Superman, which silly as it got still often dove intobig, primal emotions children could relate to - at least in the Silver Age- Batman was mostly rooted in process: here’s how Batmanfights his way past the goons/escapes the deathtrap/figures out the mystery.The closest there was to an ongoing emotional conflict was Batman wonderingwhether or not he should settle down with Batwoman. As a result, despite reamsof pagetime and plenty of solo stories, Robin himself had less characterizationthan, say, the likes of Jimmy Olsen, or even Lori Lemaris. Even stories zeroingin on their relationship like Robin DiesAt Dawn are based on Batman’s guilt, not anything substantial on Robin’send. He’s not even a tonal contrast yet, since Batman himself is pretty chipperby now, and will be for the next few decades.

The turning point is in 1969 when Dick leaves for college aspart of a general attempt at streamlining Batman’s operation; while the O’Neil/Adamsteam hadn’t come onboard yet, the Adam West and Burt Ward show had ended theyear before and I imagine DC was already feeling the backlash, so it marked thestart in earnest of trying to get everybody to take Batman a bit moreseriously. The unintended result being that Robin, while appearing on occasionin the main titles, was for all intents and purposes hermetically sealed awayin his own corner of the DCU away from what was happening to Batman, first insolo adventures and then with the New Teen Titans. And eventually,inexorably, that meant that Robin shifted to not really fitting with Batman’sworld as we knew it anymore, and that’s therefore what came to define DickGrayson: he’s not like Bruce Wayne, and moreover he doesn’t especially want tobe, until him even nominally being Batman’s sidekick anymore doesn’t work oncehe grows up and realizes he doesn’t want to sit in a basement scowling for therest of his life.

Of course, taking Dick Grayson out of the picture meantthere wasn’t going to be a Robin period, and the rejection of the fun Robinrepresented wasn’t complete enough to deny the value of his iconography, soalong comes Jason Todd, The Robin Who Makes Sense For Grim Batman once he getshis Post-Crisis origin. He’s got a dark backstory (one that even doesmarginally more than Dicks’ did to justify the conceit of Batman taking on ayoung aid - after all, if Jason wasn’t Robin he’d possibly be doomed to a lifeof crime), and a personality that lets him trade jokes with the bad guys inclassic Robin style, but as fueled by a rage at injustice that meant he didn’tcontrast that harshly with a post-Miller Batman. There’s a bit more of adeliberate contrast with how Batman himself functions - something that becomesimportant later - but it’s subdued in the face of Jason’s anger boiling over,until his presence becomes untenable both in-universe and among the fanbase,and what happens, happens. Because goodness knows that if there’s one thingBatman was lacking, it was a defining tragedy to motivate him to fight crime.

So you have a company that recognizes that Robin probablyshould be a thing, but their attempt at making him mesh with therough-and-tumble modern world of the 1980s failed so spectacularly that havinga child beaten to death by a clown was preferable to having to continue to putup with him. So they were going to have to work with something a little morefamiliar, while at the same time finding a whole new way to make the ideapalatable, especially now that the obvious dangers of bringing a powerless kidto fight supervillains were right at the front of everybody’s minds.

And that’s how you get the most important Robin story of alltime past his debut in A Lonely Place OfDying.

Not the best,mind you; later stories explored the idea introduced here in far moreinteresting ways. And for that matter, I’mon the record that Tim Drake is by far the least interesting Robin, ageneric grab-bag of traits from other characters who never remotely approachesthe sum of his parts (and that disappointing streak in fact starts right here,where the question of “how do you justifyendangering a child after what happened to Jason Todd?” is kicked under therug by having a new kid show up out of nowhere who happens to be amazing andperfect for the gig both physically and mentally). But what happens here iswhere the idea hinted at now and again in the likes of The Dark Knight Returns finally clicks into place, where Robinactually becomes Robin as we now know him with the idea that his contrast withBatman isn’t a bug, but a feature.

That’s what Robin brings to the table, retroactivelyexplaining why Dick worked and Jason didn’t, why he makes sense in Batman’sworld, and why Bruce in fact needs him: because there needs to be a light inthe dark, someone to remind Batman just what it is he’s fighting for and keephim from losing himself entirely to his mission. That Robin saves Batman justas much as the other way around, and that having a laughing young daredevil outthere alongside him will keep Batman’s head in the game, keep him alert andengaged and alive now that he has someone else to look out for. In short, Robinbeing around forces Batman to be an adult, rather than the kid still crying inthe alley all these years later. And in so doing, he has the chance to showthese kids a better way, just as he once found one. It’s a take that sticksright away, since that’s the contrast they went with a couple years later for Batman: The Animated Series, setting instone how those two related to each other in the public eye to the point whereit’s hard to remember it any other way (especially since flashbacks to Dick’s period as Robin now retroactively cast him as the upbeat good cop toBatman’s hardass).

It doesn’t quite hold in the comics among the creatorsthough, and the result was an odd period where things were thrown in twodirections at once; some writers it was becoming obvious actually did dislikeor even hate Robin, or at minimum had no use whatsoever for him, and he startedto get kicked to the side at every available opportunity since now not only washe silly on his own but he actively represented the idea that Batman shouldhimself lighten up. Others clearly started to like Robin as a figure more thanBatman himself, hence getting storieswhere it turned out Nightwing was called into Gotham on the night of Jason’sdebut so Bruce could rub it in his face that he was replaced, or Brucereplacing Tim with an inadequately-trained young woman who eventually gotkilled to try and bait him into resuming the role himself. And by the timethings returned to some sort of equilibrium, it was already just about time forthe next big shift.

Finally, we come to the star of the show if we’re talkingabout how Robin works and where he stands today: Damian Wayne. The son of Batmanasopposed to the brother, and therefore probably why Bruce catastrophically fails at every turnwhen trying to raise him (outside maybe a few so-so Tomasi comics) - he’s acesat barking orders at partners, but not so much at emotionally connecting with achild who’s for a change actually immature compared to him, rather than beingnoticeably emotionally healthier. He couldn’t even properly help Jason; what hope didhe have at reaching a 10-year-old assassin raised from birth with the promisethat his destiny is to one day wreak bloody revolution and seize the world inhis grip? Bruce fights crime; what’s he going to do with a kid essentially raisedby the platonic concept of capital-C Crime? Hence why he’s not Bruce’s Robin, andnever really could be. Even if they could work together without findingthemselves at each other’s throats, it’d be two terse efficient warriors cooperatingsmoothly, with none of the spark that makes Batman and Robin thrive as apartnership in an emotional sense. He’s Dick’s.

He has to be Dick’s,because as Dick’s grown since his years in the speedo, through Nightwing toBatman and back again, he’s become the official adult in the room of the BatmanFamily (at least as far as the members in tights go). He’s the one who smiles,who has at least semi-stable relationships, who Bruce saved and who thereforegrew up not being afraid and vulnerable in the same way as him. And because ofthat he’s the one who’s able to talk with Damian as a human being to beunderstood and guided rather than an apprentice to be disciplined - just as hewas retroactively the one to make the effort to connect with Bruce, he’s ableto do the same thing here, except this time the power dynamic favors him - and becauseof that Damian eventually comes to understand there’s more to crimefightingthan punishing ‘degenerates’, but in protecting the innocent and serving ahigher ideal of justice. To the point where the privileged little brat whooriginally thought blood alone made him worthy of being Batman not only turnshis back on the crime that defined his life, but joins the Bat-Family inearnest by essentially orphaning himself with the rejection of hismother.

It’s the completion of a circle, where Dick proves hisworthiness as Batman by succeeding in saving Damian where Bruce failed to saveJason. They have the chemistry that defines Batman and Robin as a modernpartnership, able to bounce off each other with the wise snarking veteransuperhero always able to needle the self-important teen samurai billionaireuntil the kid comes out, whether to laugh along with him or show how deep hiswounds go. And the reason this truly works as a reconfiguration of the Batmanand Robin relationship rather than a new one altogether became clear in Nightwing Must Die!, where we see whatDamian brings to the table in turn: Dick as a well-adjusted person doesn’t havethe diamond-solid certainty in his identity or mission that Bruce did, butDamian most definitely does, and can bring the fire to Dick when he needs itthe way Dick could with Bruce. He’s the one who believes in Dick as Batman evenmore than he believes in Bruce. Hell, probably even more than Dick believes in Bruce.

As is that’s the issue with Robin, at least as far as thecomics go - he’s not working with his partner, and you can’t especially shove himtogether with Bruce without either killing the drama or going endlessly back tothe “You’re not my real dad, man!” well (yetanother reason Dick should absolutely still be Co-Batman), and while he’s honestlya strong enough character to work on his own, that’s not his situation at themoment. Thankfully we’re still getting a pretty effective contrast with JonKent in Super Sons, along with whatever they’re doing in Teen Titans right now,but as Robin specifically rather than Damian Wayne he’s kind of inevitablysidelined until Dick either takes back the cape or just takes Robin as hissidekick even while he’s Nightwing. Bruce himself seems to have moved pastneeding a Robin truly all his own at the moment, instead cycling through thelikes of Bluebird and Signal and Gotham Girl. The honest answer to what Robinmeans in the DCU right now is probably “identitythat’s going to remain in a holding pattern until the DCEU Batman and Nightwingmovies come out, and then they’ll do whatever lines up with those”. So, uh,come back to me in 2019 or thereabouts. But on the whole? Batman and Robin arethere to save each other. It’s that simple.

#Robin #Batman #Nightwing #Dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Analysis #Opinion

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howtohero · 5 years

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Monitor Duty

Being a superhero isn’t all about high speed boat chases and dueling six-armed gladiators on top of dams. That’s a good chunk of it sure, but if you’re going to be a superhero, you should know that it’s not going to be all action, all the time. There are also times when you’re going to have to just wait around for action to happen. Yes, there are definitely crimes going on around the world all the time, and yes, if you wanted you could probably spend every waking minute foiling them. But that’s not the best use of your time, and you don’t want to step on another hero’s toes. Not to mention the fact that you’re probably not the best hero for each and every super-crime scenario. Superhero organizations need to be able to keep tabs on all these super-crimes, so that they can make sure each one of them is handled by the hero best suited to handle them. Which means somebody needs to be keeping an eye on all the satellites and police scanners and the superhero tip-lines. Usually this will be on a fixed rotation schedule, so that every superhero has to spend some time pitching in and keeping an eye on the world. And sometimes, that superhero is going to have to be you.

If you get nailed with monitor duty your best course of action would be to pawn it off onto somebody else. That gig is soooo boring. It’s like watching tv except usually nothing cool is happening. Oh some guy is robbing a bank while dressed like a crocodile? Snooze, he’s clearly not a pro and is probably going to end up tripping on his own tail and taking himself out anyway. A bird is mugging a young couple? Tragic but there’s literally nothing anybody could do about that anyway. Like, it’s a bird, if it can manage to mug two people doesn’t it kind of deserve to get away with it? So you’re just stuck cooped up in a control room somewhere in a chair that is either too ergonomic or not ergonomic enough and half-heartedly assigning superheroes to various hotspots around the world. (Or, taking a nap and letting your monkey sidekick assign heroes for a bit. Coby’s got good judgement, he has an MBA, what’s the worst that could happen?) But don’t worry, finding some chump to take the job off your hands shouldn’t be too difficult. Most superhero teams have actually begun signing certain “heroes” specifically with this in mind. Now, obviously they won’t say that this is why they’re hiring these heroes. Nobody’s going to join a superhero team that doesn’t value them for their crimefighting ability. But these are the people who clearly have no business being on a superhero team. Their powers are lame or non-existent, they have the lowest score in the training simulators, and they keep suspiciously disappearing every time they’re sent to deal with a supervillain, which means they’re either the villain, or they’re hiding somewhere because they’re super-cowards. If you can identify the superzero in your team, then you can basically always get out of monitor duty. (Oh my gosh this was a terrible idea. Coby’s keen business mind is apparently now well-suited to assigning superheroes to appropriate supervillains. There are now twenty three superheroes fighting one poacher in Africa and forty seven heroes searching for Monkey Slim, an evil monkey who wears a cowboy hat and who once humiliated Coby in front of the girl he liked in monkey high school.)

Once you’ve identified your mark approach them and ask them if they’d like to take on the monumental task of monitoring the alien invasion early-warning system. Most of the time they’ll gleefully agree and give you their dangerous mission assignment and you can be on your way. If they seem hesitant though, you might need to work a little harder to convince them. Tell them that you’ve noticed all of the hard work they’ve been doing and believe that they deserve a break from field work and that you’d gladly take over their assignment for them, as a show of thanks and respect. If they’re too self-aware to believe that load of garbage you’ll have to change tacts quickly. Tell them that the supervillain they’ve been assigned to stop is an old nemesis of yours. Make up a dramatic history between the two of you. Say that the 15-foot landshark and you were old kindergarten classmates, where a dispute over apple juice boxes marked you as enemies for life. Claim that the incorporeal smoke-spirit that’s haunting the gas station convenience store and you used to be best friends and business partners until he stabbed you in the back and made millions off of your idea. If you come up with a good enough lie, the chump will no doubt be forced to give in and take your monitor duty so that you can put your longtime nemesis where they belong. Prison. Or civil claims court. Or the off-yellow abyss whence they came.

If all of that fails though, you’ll need to settle in for the long haul and just watch those monitors. Once you begin your shift you’re not really allowed to leave, because if the monitors are unattended it could literally mean the end of the human race. The hero on monitor duty will be the first person to detect an incoming invasion, an enormous planet-eating monster planet, or any number of other space-faring threats. The hero on monitor duty is responsible for coordinating dozens of active superheroes, and making sure that every super-crime or paranormal crisis is contained and handled quickly and efficiently. The hero on monitor duty is responsible for making sure heroes in the field are prepared for whatever threat they’ve been called in to manage. Which means you’ll have to brief them over comms about the abilities, personalities, and modus operandi or various criminals and find nearby empty spaces the heroes can shift the fight to in order to avoid excessive collateral damage. All of which means you need to be on the ball for potentially hours on end. So make sure you have plenty of snacks, some good music and maybe wear a diaper. Unless you have the superhuman ability to control your bladder. If you’re lucky there will be more than one of you on monitor duty at any given time in order to avoid this sort of thing, but if you’re part of a small team, you might be on your own.

So, obviously, it’s of the utmost importance that you stay alert and engaged while on monitor duty. This is why I recommend having a box of fake, adhesive mustaches with you. This way, whenever someone’s face appears on the viewscreen, you can paste a hilarious mustache on their face and then give them your full attention while you try to hold back your snickers. If you can’t get a box of adhesive mustaches on short-notice, just get a marker, and draw the mustaches. Sure, this will result in the screen being filled with crudely drawn mustaches of various sizes and styles, but the world will also be a safer place, so it’s worth it. Especially if you leave before anyone notices and can’t be made to clean it up. Then it’s almost doubly worth it.

Another fun thing you can do is purposely team up heroes who hate each other. Obviously you need to make sure that the heroes are equipped to deal with the threat you’re sending them off to fight, and that the team-up makes sense on paper. But you know these people, you know about their rivalries and their petty spats and squabbles and who just grinds each others gears. Bonus points if one of the people you do this to is the guy who refused to take over monitor duty from you. Then you can grab some popcorn and listen to them bicker and snipe at each other as they try to capture the Rambunctious-Red-Light-Runner. Or you can spend your time playing match-maker and try to set up heroes that you think would make a good couple. You’ve got a lot of power in the monitor room, and you’d be a fool not to make the most of it.

Monitor duty might seem tedious but it’s really an awesome responsibility. There are times when you’ll have the fate of the world in your hands. You’re the first and last defense against otherworldly threats. You need to be able to see the big picture to protect the world and also use your understanding of the little picture to torment your teammates. Everyone’s got to do it at some point, so don’t waste the opportunity to do something good, and to do something fun.

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eloarei · 7 years

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Because I can’t seem to get myself to write, and instead am loafing around this blue hell-site, I’m gonna trick myself into writing by doing my notes/layout as a post. As I said before, it’s an Overwatch fic, McHanzo, and a Universe Alteration as opposed to an AU, since the main difference is that McCree is a centaur. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing has a real plot, but I’ll try to flesh it out behind the cut.

So far I’ve only written 500 words, but I’m guessing this will amount to, I dunno, roughly 20k? God honestly it could definitely get upwards of 30 or 40k because I can GO ON AND ON sometimes, but let’s hope that’s not the case; the longer the story gets, the more likely it’ll never get done. (Case in point: “Rogue” and “On Track”. Ugh, destroy me.) Anyway, the basic plot is as follows: (though maybe I should warn for, like, slavery and the associated abuse, and racism against mythological creatures) ---Jesse McCree is a centaur, born and raised in the American southwest by a centaur mother, and I can’t decide if his dad is/was a centaur or a human yet. (In my original stories, centaurs can have human fathers, but I realize most people probably don’t follow that kind of logic, and/or think it’s squicky haha) His father doesn’t seem to be in the picture, or simply isn’t important. He lives with his mother, and they love each other, but he has a restless nature and hates their backwater town. He constantly tells her that he’s gonna go strike out on his own. Then one day when he’s fifteen, he’s abducted by slavers. He spends the next month in shipping crates and warehouses with a handful of other centaurs before he eventually ends up in Japan. Centaurs are super uncommon there, so they consider them exotic, which could be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. He ends up being purchased by the criminal Shimada clan, possibly as potential security. Haven’t decided yet if the Shimadas buy all the centaurs, but they’ve got money, so why not. But of course the main point is that Jesse meets the Shimada heir, fifteen-year-old Hanzo, who’s sort of in-training at dealing with the clan’s crime business. The elders won’t let him do anything too dangerous, of course, but they let him deal with the slaves. Part of the process the slavers go through in dehumanizing their captives is removing their names. They punish the slaves for using their own names with each other, as the slaves are ‘supposed to be’ blank slates for their new owners to name. So when Hanzo begins to deal with Jesse, he never asks his name, and Jesse never gives it, because they both know the rules. Hanzo names him “Iteza” (or “Archer”), the Japanese name of the constellation “Sagittarius”. Jesse says he’s never shot a bow before, and Hanzo begins to train him in archery, during which time they, of course, become friends. Hanzo clearly begins to favor ‘Iteza’; they start to spend a lot of time together outside of clan-sanctioned interactions, and they find themselves in star-crossed puppy love. At one point, Jesse wants to tell Hanzo his real name; he burns to. But Hanzo refuses to hear it. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to know, but that he knows it would be dangerous for both of them. He explains, if ‘Iteza’ were to escape, there is no guarantee that the clan would not wring information from Hanzo, no guarantee that he would not tell them everything he knew. It would be safest if ‘Iteza’ buried his true name from everyone outside. Jesse raises an eyebrow when Hanzo mentions him escaping, like he’d never really even thought about it, and Hanzo brushes it off. Before too long, though, Jesse does escape. Some situation causes his future to look grim; likely, tensions between Shimada and the other criminal clans and/or the law. Before Jesse can be sent off to fight for the clan, Hanzo arranges for his escape. Jesse is conflicted-- but only a little. He leaves without too much prodding. He appreciates Hanzo letting him leave; Hanzo knows it’s for the best and is glad, even though they’re both sure they’ll never see the other again. Back in America, Jesse isn’t sure what to do. It’s been more than a year now that he’s been away. Would it even make sense to go home? Before he can make a decision, he’s attacked and robbed by a gang called Deadlock. He surprises them by kicking quite a few of their asses, so they semi-forcefully recruit him into their gang. It seems like sort of a good idea to him, given that he now has a fair amount of experience dealing with intricate criminal groups, and wasn’t totally set on going home anyway. Furthermore, Deadlock is comprised largely of centaurs, although their leader is human who treats them in a way that sets Jesse a little on edge, as if they were more animals than people. (Jesse tells Deadlock that his name is “Archer”. He’s not ready to tell these people his true name, and although he’s no longer “Iteza”, some small piece of him still wants to hold on to the name.) Deadlock gives him a gun, and teaches him how to shoot. They laugh when he says all he knows how to shoot is a bow, but he’s talented with the new weapon. He makes a place for himself in the gang and stays with them for a few years, until-- When Jesse is nineteen, their gang is busted by the international crimefighting organization Overwatch. He alone is spared, given the chance to join Overwatch or go to jail. (He’s not sure, maybe some of the others were given the chance too, but he’s the only one who is willing to take the opportunities presented to him if it means his survival. It’s something he’s had to learn these past years.) The man who recruits him is Gabriel Reyes, a centaur and one of the commanders of Overwatch. He and Gabe become close, perhaps due to being two of the only centaurs in the team, and both having somewhat rough pasts. Jesse tells Overwatch his real name, but it takes quite a long time before he’s ready to open up about what he’s been through. When he does, Reyes is surprisingly understanding, and promises not to tell others about his history as a slave. More recruits come into the team over the years. One of them is Hanzo Shimada’s brother, Genji, who Jesse was on quite friendly terms with, back in the day. Genji recognizes “Iteza” immediately, and is extremely glad to see him again. However, he looks nothing like how Jesse remembers him. Aside from having been only twelve when they met, and now being fully grown, Genji is also now a cyborg. “What the heck happened, Suzume?” Jesse asks, calling Genji by his childhood nickname, “Sparrow”. “Hanzo happened,” Genji explains. “After you left... he changed. The elders were hard on him when they realized he was to blame for your escape. They became very strict with him. He was never the same after that. He did this to me, at the behest of the family.” Jesse is softly distraught at this turn of events, but he tries not to dwell on it. Genji is at peace with the situation, so Jesse strives to be too. Years pass. Overwatch falls to ruins internally, punctuated at its end by the explosion of the Swiss headquarters. Jesse and the remaining members disband, and Jesse becomes a wanderer, softly haunted by so many pieces of his past and with nowhere to call home anymore. He thinks many times of Hanzo (and of Genji, and of Reyes), but he doesn’t try to return to any of the places he once belonged, perhaps because they were all tainted in their various ways. Eventually, though, the living members of Overwatch are recalled, and Jesse returns immediately. New members begin to come as well; among them, a man he once knew: Hanzo Shimada. Genji was right, he’s different now, and Jesse can see immediately that he’s walking a path similar to one that he has walked, that Hanzo is on a rocky road to recovery. But aside from that, he becomes a different person when he meets Jesse again. He becomes like he was as a child, if only a little. Hanzo has lived in guilt for ten years for what he did to his brother, but learning that not all his decisions were bad, that his choice to help “Iteza” escape was a good one, makes an almost instant difference. Learning Jesse’s real name after all this time and finally getting to interact with him without hiding from his overbearing clan is just as good. Though nothing is easy, has never been easy and may never be easy, the two become close again, and in a way they never could before. THE END sort of. To be honest, I just need to go to bed haha ^^; and I haven’t thought a whole lot more into what might come after this. I want to give it a more definitive ending and plot, but I’m not sure what that will be. Maybe something to do with hunting slavers. Oh, and Reyes showing back up from the dead, of course, because ghastly Thestral-Reyes is a great image. Good lord I stayed up way too late. Well, maybe I can wrangle this into something that makes sense tomorrow. *shrug* If anybody reads this and wants to give me like suggestions or whatever, that’s totally cool. G’night!

#elo talks #elo fics #awfully long layout for a story where it feels like nothing happens

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