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beigejournals · 4 years

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Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me.

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot. i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

#beigedrafts #lucifer #spoilers

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chan-yolo · 5 years

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Come Back, Be Here

A/N So here it is, my first ever JK scenario. this makes me hella nervous because i’m typically an EXO writer, but i’m into BTS too, they’re another one of my favourite groups, so I thought I’d give Jungkook a go.

This one is angsty and based off of Taylor Swift’s song, ‘Come Back, Be Here’ from her Red album.

I hope you like it.

lemme know if you want anymore BTS in the future.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook/ Reader

Genre: Fluff, ANGST.

Warnings: hints at sex, swearing somewhere.

Word Count: 5,463

Suggested song: Come Back Be Here- Taylor Swift.

There are different kinds of relationships.

You have your long-lasting serious relationship. The one everyone hopes for, even when they say they don’t, there’s that longing for one. The one that’s it for you. The one that is the one. The be all and end all of love and happiness.

Then you have your fun casual ones. Sometimes they’re no strings attached, sexy, heated fun. And sometimes they’re all strings attached but in a casual way. The ones where you have no label but you do. You get each other but you don’t always need each other.

Your relationship was supposed to be that. Fun, exciting, passionate. You didn’t have or want to need him. You weren’t his girlfriend and he wasn’t your boyfriend.

But then why did it hurt so much? You didn’t want to need him but you did.

There are different kinds of relationships, and on paper that is true. But in practice it doesn’t always stay in the bracket.

The first time you met him, you didn’t even know who he was. Stupid seeing as he was in one of the biggest boy groups to grace stan twitter since One Direction. But honestly you were just trying to pay your rent and sleep eight hours a day.

Jungkook was someone who was pelted into your life full force. It was as if he was never meant to be there, never originally fated to cross your path. But the universe likes to change things up once in a while, and lord did it want to change your life.

You met Jungkook on a typical English rainy day. You’d finished work, and the way nature greeted you was to open up the heavens and release a downpour, one you wasn’t prepared for. Racing down the street, you dipped into the nearest coffee shop, hoping to wait out the rain until it calmed down. Unfortunately you lived a bus journey away from the office you were working in, and the bus station was a ten-minute walk from that. So hiding away with your book and coffee, waiting for the storm to blow over was your only option.

The little shop was filling quickly, everyone having the same idea. You sat in the back corner, away from the crowded entry way, and closest to the window where you could watch as the raindrops chased each other on the steamy glass. Wrapping your hands around the white ceramic coffee mug, you relished in the feeling of your fingertips numbing from the warmth of the beverage.

Your gaze lethargically flicked over the people sat in the café, watching them shake out umbrellas and shuffle off coats. Though you never expected to make such piercing eye contact with one of those strangers. The boy was looking straight at you, his own coffee mug in hand. His dark hair was slightly wet on the ends, it was long. You noted he definitely needed a haircut, but the length was endearing on him. his clothes were baggy, hanging off of his frame. A black sweater mixed with black cargo pants. You noticed his shoes were Balenciaga. A strange choice, you noted, seeming it was England and rainy. You would never wear such expensive shoes with the thought of them being ruined in the typical English autumn weather.

His eyebrow raised at your gaze, walking towards you, weaving through the tables. As he stopped beside your table for two, he nodded at the chair in front of yours, confidently asking;

“May I sit here?” You raised your own eyebrow at his question. His accent was cute, and his slight lisp was as adorable. So of course you said yes.

You learned a lot about him on that rainy day in London. About how he was from Busan, and how he had come here on part of his holiday from work. What he didn’t tell you was what his work was.

As the rain stopped, so did your conversation. Both needing to be in other places. You said your goodbyes with an exchange of numbers and small smiles. The first of many to come.

You’d texted Jungkook on and off for a few days before he asked if he could see you again. This time it was in the back of a museum, where he listened to you tell him about the 18th century and the civil war of the Georgian era.

“How do you know so much about this?”

“I studied English literature and history at university, The eighteenth century was the only part that stuck the most.” You smiled at him before looking up at another satirical painting.

“So you enjoy reading then?” You nodded at his question, smiling at his interest in your own hobbies.

“It gives you another world to be in when you don’t enjoy the reality of the one you’re currently in.” Jungkook just smiled back at you, taking your hand in his and squeezing it. When he let go of your hand he pointed at the next painting, asking you to tell him about the meaning of that.

When you think back, the little rendezvous the two of you were having was like that. something to distract you from the reality of your own lives. You both gave each other a new world. Your free time was taken up by Jungkook, but you didn’t mind. His upbeat persona and his curiosity always made you want to see him more.

The first time he kissed you, you were in awe. You’d decided to drive back to your home town, taking the boy with you. The trip to Cambridge was long but worth it. Within each back street a picture was taken, his hand was in your own, and you were happy.

As you were explaining the different university buildings to him, he pulled you closer to him by your waist, one hand moving to the back of your head, leading your lips to his own. The kiss was small and slow. But it was something you’d always remember. As he pulled away, he pushed your hair behind you ear, giving you one of his full smiles you loved.

“You have a beautiful mind.” He whispered to you before pecking your lips once again. Everything he did was magical to you. And you worried about how breathless he left you. Yet you never stopped to do anything about the fact you were being swept away by him.

***

Nights were soon spent either in his rented apartment, or in your own smaller apartment. Sharing kisses and watching movies. Sometimes even reading together. And this night was no different. You were sat in his apartment, facing each other. You were now on your second glass of wine, cheeks aching from how much the boy in front of you was making you laugh.

“Your friends sound chaotic.” You laughed at another one of his stories.

“No no no, they just like to make us laugh, not chaotic just funny.” He smiled at you. You could see the love he held for his friends in his eyes, and it made your own heart swell.

“I’d like to meet them one day.” You watched as some of the spark in his eyes dimmed, and your own stomach twisted, wondering if you’d gone too far.

“I think it’d be hard to. Our job doesn’t give us much time to have relationships.” He looked at his lap, and you nodded, sipping your wine and looking towards the sky line of the city.

“I also like that I only know you, I don’t have to share you with the Hyung’s, or the fans.” At this you looked back at him, confused.

“Fans?” at your question, Jungkook muttered something in Korean that you didn’t understand .

“Yes, fans. Y/n, aish how do I…” he rubbed the back of his neck, looking for the right words. “I’m in a band, you know BTS?” This time it was your turn to think about It, and when you searched your brain, you realised you did know who he was.

“omg I’m so stupid, you must think I’m an idiot to not notice who you are.” Jungkook laughed at you, taking your hand in his. In fact he thought it was nice that you didn’t know who he was. And when you told him you had listened to a couple of their songs, one of them being Euphoria, his smiled widened and he kissed you, longer and deeper than he had ever kissed you before.

That night you both established your trust as well as the unspoken agreement that this couldn’t get any more serious than it already was. Though when you woke up next to him the following morning, naked, chest filled with purple bruises showing the trail his lips had made, you knew that you would not hesitate to break those rules.

When you went home that day, you rang your mum. Pacing the room you described every moment with Jungkook, every feeling you had and the situation you had found yourself in with a worldwide star.

“Trust you to get into this predicament.” Your mum teased on the other end.

“Mum! You’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry, but you do know you can’t get too attached right?”

“I know, I’m not stupid. It would never work, even if he wasn’t in BTS. He has to leave at some point.”

“Please be careful okay, because when he leaves you’ll be left with the heartbreak.”

“I know mum, I’ll be careful. I promise.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Even as you agreed, deep down you knew you were lying. But you couldn’t let go just yet.

***

The delicate beginning rush, the feeling you could know so much without really knowing anything at all.

Boyfriend material. That is what Jungkook screamed. Your mind would never stop telling you how perfect he was, and your heart never stopped wanting more from him. but you could never ask him for more.

You’d fallen in love with him. and even though you knew that was selfish of you, you still couldn’t stop falling for the way he cared. The way he cared about you, with his cute texts when you weren’t together, to get you through your day. the way his eyes filled with love when he talked about his fans and the homely feel he had when he talked about the rest of the boys.

You longed to be the reason for the love in his eyes also. But instead you basked in the moment. You took all you could get, being wrapped up in bed with him, speaking about your dreams and his goals for the next year with his bandmates.

“You’re amazing you know that right?” You whispered to him one night, as he talked about his want to compose his own song for the fans. Jungkook smirked at you, moving to hover over you. Moving his head down to graze yours.

“I try.” Connecting his lips to yours, his tongue met your own, his fingers pulling your underwear down, and your heart once again was giving out a piece for him to keep. Soon there would be nothing left for you to keep, and you didn’t even see it happening.

***

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook for weeks. Not even a small text to tell you he was okay. According to social media he was okay, but that wasn’t the Jungkook you knew, that wasn’t your Jungkook.

You’d left him messages, but he just left them on read, and after a while ignored them completely. You knew you shouldn’t be as bothered as you were. But you had given up so many of your nights for him, and he couldn’t even give you a text back.

Pulling out your phone, you sat on your sofa, scrolling through previous messages for signs this was all over. Huffing you decided you were being an idiot, leaving him one last message before you decided to head to bed.

“Text me when you feel like talking to me again I guess.”

The buzzing sounded throughout your apartment in the most annoying way, pulling you out of your sleep. groggily you sat up, looking at the time which read 1am, you pulled on one of Jungkook’s jumpers he had left there, shuffling towards the front door, you asked who it was, just to hear Jungkook’s muffled, “It’s me.” And that certainly woke you up. Buzzing him up, you moved to sit on the sofa, biting at your nails nervously.

Letting himself in, Jungkook sat opposite you, his eyes never met yours, his fingers interlocked, his gaze downcast.

“I just wanted to know you were okay, it doesn’t take you five minutes to tell me you’re safe.” You broke the silence, justifying the texts. The reason why he was here.

“I was busy.” Was his only response, his eyes still refusing to meet your own.

“I know, and I respect that. But Jungkook, it’s been weeks and I know this isn’t a serious relationship or anything like it but I just needed to know.” At this his brown eyes met your blue ones.

“Then what are we Y/N? how can we do what we do and not be together?

“You know we can’t, you know better than anyone else. You set these rules.” You fought back, watching as he stood up, pacing the expanse of your small living room. Stopping he looked at you, shaking his head, he grabbed his bag heading back towards your door.

“Jungkook, please. Please don’t leave. Not tonight please.” Your small hand caught his sleeve, hoping it was enough to stop him. you watched his shoulders drop, your body full of its own tension. Turning around, he pulled you into him. his hug was different to the others you had shared. As if it was the end of something.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, no longer full of the normal essence that was Jungkook.

“Me too.” And you were. Not just to him but to yourself, as you no longer owned any part of yourself, all you knew was Jeon Jungkook.

***

Things were never the same, you both distanced yourselves more. but the odd night you still found yourself wrapped in his sheets as he whispered false promises and sweet words. You wanted to believe him, and somewhere inside you, you did. But your reality woke you up in the morning, and your life continued.

It wasn’t until one Thursday morning when you realised how different your lives were. It was 4am, and Jungkook was leaving delicate kisses on your neck, your breathing evening out as you tried to drift off into sleep.

“Y/n.” His whisper was light, mixed into the kisses that were now left on your shoulder.

“hmm?”

“I need to tell you something.” Your eyes fluttered open to look at his own, waiting for the news he had.

“I’m leaving.” Pulling away, you sat up, wrapping the sheet around your body.

“You’re what?”

“We’re making another album, and we’re filming again.”

“Oh, Gukk, that’s great.” You stood up, pulling on his t-shirt quickly.

“You’re upset.” He sat up himself, watching you as you pulled on underwear.

“It’s your job, it’s what you love to do, I can’t be upset about that.” You looked at him, nibbling on your lip nervously. Crawling across the bed, Jungkook pulled you towards him, settling you on his lap. “When do you leave?” You ran your hands through his hair, leaving a kiss to his hair line.

“In two days.” He whispered into your shoulder, once again leaving kisses there.

You finally had an expiry date, but you never expected it to be so soon.

***

We stumbled through the long goodbyes.

One last kiss then catch your flight,

Right when I was just about to fall.

The terminal was quiet. You’d never had to wait with someone who was a VIP. So being sat in a room with Just the two of you and some bodyguards was a weird experience. But this was possibly your last time to be with Jungkook, and you weren’t going to stop clinging onto him, no matter how many weird looks you got from his team.

Jungkook was leaving small kisses on your head as you played with his fingers. Neither one of you wanting to break the silence, not knowing what to say to each other. You traced the veins on his hands, each line familiar to you, thinking of how your life will change after this. How everything will go back to normal, as if you’d never met Jungkook. But your heart would never be the same. Jungkook lifted his hand, fingers still intertwined with yours, checking the watch on his wrist for the time. You felt him sigh beside you, his face moving to bury into your hair. Inhaling Jungkook left another kiss before whispering out your name.

“Y/n…” You closed your eyes, knowing just by the tone in his voice that it was time to say goodbye.

“Please…” Your voice was a whimper, a tremble you wished you could hide.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go.” You inhaled a low shaky breath, feeling Jungkook’s hand squeeze in your own. You both stood up, Jungkook pulling the two of you into a tight hug, the embrace making your heart break, and the tears start to stream from your eyes.

You felt Jungkook look up from your shoulder. Addressing the team behind you, he uttered something to them in Korean, and shortly after you heard what must have been them walking away from you.

“y/n I’m sorry I have to go.” Pulling away from the man you had come to love, you rubbed your eyes, trying to get rid of the tears on your face, shaking your head at him.

“No. Jungkook you have to go, we always knew this was going to happen, I’m just emotional that’s all.” You gave him a sad smile trying to lighten the mood of the situation. Jungkook gave you a knowing one back, moving to wipe your tears away for you before pulling you into him once again.

“I have to go.”

“I know.” You snuggled your head into his chest, not making an effort to move away from him. choosing to do it himself, he softly pushed you away from him, his brown eyes looking down at yours. You used to get lost in the cosmos in his eyes, but now it just hurt to think you would probably never see them again. Jungkook’s thumb traced your cheekbone, his own sad smile overtaking your face as his eyes traced your features. Dipping down his lips met yours, delicately and slowly. The kiss was deep and meaningful, and when his tongue met your own, your hands moved to squeeze his biceps, trying to keep him close to you.

The flight attendant announced that Jungkook’s plane was ready to board, and you couldn’t think of anyone you hated more in the world. Pulling away from each other, Jungkook’s hands moved to take your own, squeezing them reassuringly in his grip.

“You’re going to be alright?” The tone of his voice was light, but you could hear the strain in his words.

“Of course I am Gukk.” You sighed heavily. Smiling once again to reassure him .

“we’re alright?” His eyebrow raised, just like the first time you met him.

“yeah, we’re alright.” You nodded at him, squeezing his hands lightly in return to his.

“I have to go.”

“I know.” You sighed for the hundredth time that evening, ready to say what you’ve always wanted to. But before any words could escape your mouth, Jungkook had dipped down to steal one more kiss from you, pulling away quickly to walk towards where his manager was waiting for him at the terminal.

A fresh set of tears streamed down your face as you watched him leave, your breath hitching when he didn’t turn back, just disappearing. Your whole body gave up, slumping down into the seat you were in just mere minutes ago. Sobs were now leaving your mouth as you wiped your eyes on the sleeve of your jumper, his jumper. You whispered the words into your sleeve that you wanted to say to him, knowing they would never meet his ears.

“I love you.”

***

I can’t help but wish you took me with you.

Weeks went by. Each one lacklustre. You’d been moving on auto pilot, getting on with your dull life. Though this was the life you’d always had before Jungkook came along. Each day you busied yourself, trying to get the image of the boy with the bunny teeth out of your mind. But you noticed more and more every day, how popular they were in the world, traces of them popping up all over the place.

It was on your way home from work when you fully felt the ache in your heart. The bus had stopped in front of a billboard. A bright pink billboard. The words ‘Map of the Soul: Persona’, stretched across the top, the seven boys with their bright clothing looking back at you. Though you only saw Jungkook, getting a glimpse of the face you hadn’t seen properly for weeks before the bus went speeding down the road again.

That night, you called your mum. Crying about what wasn’t and what could’ve been. The feeling of a broken heart new to you, you didn’t quite believe it was so.

“It was for the best sweetie.” Your mum tried to be supportive, tried to assure you this was all a part of life that you would learn and grow from.

“I know mum.” Your voice was straining, hoarse from the previous crying.

“He wasn’t the one.” As convincing as your mum was trying to be, you didn’t have the strength to lie or to fight with her. You all knew the truth.

“Yes mum.”

***

This is when the feeling sinks in, I don’t wanna miss you like this.

A night with friends should be one for relaxing. One where you can catch up with each other. Laugh and just forget about the world outside. Your friends knew you were seeing someone, and that recently there was a sort of break up. They just didn’t know it was Jungkook.

Hiding Jungkook’s job was hard, but they had never heard of BTS, so you never worried. But at this moment in time, you just wanted to sit and tell them every little detail. But tonight was about being together and having a good time. In midst of things, you were. It was nice to see people that weren’t from work. Sat around the booth you smiled at each of your friends as they shared their own gossip from their own lives, keeping you distracted.

Things seemed to be going just the way they planned. You were smiling, laughing even. The most you had in weeks. That was until a surprise turned up. In the shape of your friends’ boyfriends. Now, normally you were not the one to be bitter about these things. You loved the relationships your friends were in. you loved how happy they seemed with their significant other. But tonight you didn’t want to be reminded of how unlucky in love you were. Selfish was never something you pinned yourself as, but tonight that’s what you wanted to be.

Your glare was subtle, but your pout prominent. Watching the love in everyone’s eyes around you. Your new housemate, conveniently sat opposite you, never knew the concept of too much PDA, so for approximately ten minutes, you counted, she was clinging to her boyfriend like she hadn’t seen him in years. She in fact saw him that morning. Okay, maybe you were a little bitter.

Shuffling out of the chair you had moved in so the couples could be closer together, you made your way hastily to the bar. A drink wouldn’t hurt, and you’d be needing one to get you through the night. Though one drink didn’t mean a leisurely pint at the pub, no. it meant a strong whisky mixed with mulled over feelings of what could’ve been. The night turned into thoughts of what Jungkook would be doing right now. Did he miss you? Did he still think of you? That night your mind was cruel to you, and in your bitterness you blamed your friends, when in reality it was your own selfish heart.

***

I guess you’re in New York today, I don’t wanna need you this way.

It didn’t take long for you to spill out everything to your housemate. Who Jungkook was, not just to you but to the world. And bless her, did she try her hardest to help you with your broken heart. Eventually you started feeling a little more human. Daily tasks weren’t hard to do, they were just mundane. Like they were before you met him. Though the ache was still there.

You still found yourself needing him, not just at night, but in the cold mornings. Or needing his laugh, and cute scrunch of his nose when he was happy or amused.

That’s how you found yourself watching one of the bands latest interviews. You were dying to know what he looked like, needing to see if he had changed since you last saw him at the airport that day.

Watching the video you were so immersed in their friendship, each member stating what they liked about New York, the city they were currently in. You had never seen Jungkook with the other boys, your eyes never left his form as you watched the absolute adoration he had for each of the guys with him.

He looked different.

How strange I don’t know you at all.

Your eyes darted across the screen. His hair was different, a little more well-kept. His smile was different too. Different from the one you were used to seeing. This wasn’t the Jungkook you had gotten to know. This was the singer, the idol Jeon Jungkook.

In ways, he was still the same. One thing you definitely knew about him was that even though he was still finding himself, he would never try and intentionally give a false version of himself to anyone, especially his fans. But in the grander schemes of things, you had come to realise you actually didn’t really know Jeon Jungkook at all like you thought you did.

You hadn’t heard from him since a few days after the tour started. He looked happy. Maybe things had changed.

Before you could think about it anymore, your roommate popped her head around the door. Sensing your state of pain and realisation, she gave you a sympathetic smile, leaning against your doorframe.

“Wanna go get food?” Nodding at her, you gave a small smile back.

“Sure, give me a sec.” giving a short nod, she headed off to her room. Leaving you to shut your laptop, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall once again.

***

This is falling in love in the cruellest way.

This is falling for you when you are worlds away.

Crying on your best friend was not how you expected your Tuesday night to go. But here you were. Snotty nose pressed against her shoulder, tear stained cheeks tacky and salty from the amount of crying you had been doing.

“I can’t take it anymore Jade, I can’t do this.” Your voice was hoarse, sore from the sobs. Jade pulled you closer to her, entangling her legs with your own as you lay in your bed. You felt her sigh in your hair as she left a kiss atop it.

“Y/n, I thought you had it handled?”

“I love him.” Closing your eyes you felt a new wave of sadness rush through you again. Hiccupping, you tried to ward off the hurt that wanted to escape you in waves.

“Babe…”

“I know, I know. I’m an idiot. An absolute fucking idiot.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to see your friends face. The pity on it. The tone in her voice was enough.

“You’re human.” Moving apart to finally look at her, you watched as her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at your own heart broken expression. Laying on your back, you let out a huff, cursing your own stupid emotions.

“I thought it’s be easier, he’d move back to Korea, go on tour, live his life. I’d g back to mine. But I can’t, not when he’s everywhere. Everywhere but here.” You whispered to yourself, sinking into the reality of what your situation was.

“You have to let him go y/n, this whole thing is too cruel.”

“I’m trying.” You looked at your friend with watery eyes, neither of you convinced that you were.

***

I break down, cos it’s not fair that you’re not around.

That same night, after your friend had left, you were still sat in your bed. The crying had stopped but you were still snotty nosed and ever so tired. You knew you should stop feeling this way, that you were the only one who could make it all stop.

The familiar sound of your phone ringing ran throughout your room, cutting through the drama you were watching on tv. Reaching to your bedside table, checking the caller ID before dropping your phone as if it had just bitten you.

It was him.

The caller ID “Gukk” lit up your screen. Your breath hitched, heart clenching and eyes watering. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair, was the only thing going through your mind.

You wanted to ignore it, you promised you forget. So you waited. Waited for the ringing to top. Closing your eyes to seal in the fresh tears. Finally it stopped, and in its end brought your sobs, strangled and torn.

A buzzing made you open your eyes, hoping that there was no more. looking down at your phone to see a new text, your heart shattered at his message.

“I’m so sorry.”

It wasn’t fair.

***

I don’t want to need you this way.

Message after message was left. It had been a week and you hadn’t answered any of the calls or texts. You were angry, you were sad. yet you were still full of longing. That is what lead to you dialling his number, knowing full well it was late for him, but you didn’t care. Some things couldn’t wait any longer.

The phone rang three times before he picked up. You listened to his breathing on the other side. Pacing up and down your living room floor, you felt slightly overwhelmed.

“Hey.” You breathed out finally, noting in the little hitch in his own breathing.

“Hey.” His voice seemed deeper. Had it always been that deep? Or had you just forgotten the way he sounds. No that definitely wasn’t it.

“I’m sorry.” You came to stop at the wall opposite your couch, resting your forehead on the white surface.

“Why?”

“I made a mistake.” Your voice trembled, your mind at battle with your heart. Needing to tell him the truth but knowing it would just cause more hurt.

“What mistake?” Jungkook sounded unsure. You could just see that little head tilt and the crease in his eyebrows.

“I need you here too much. I need you Jungkook.” Turning around, you looked out at the London skyline, cursing the distance between you two.

“How is that a mistake jagi?” sinking to the floor, you heart ached at the pet name you hadn’t heard in so long.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t. this wasn’t supposed to happen Jungkook.”

“Then I guess I broke your rule too.” Jungkook chucked on the other end, making the butterflies arise for the first time in months. “I need you too y/n.” Closing your eyes you breathed out at the confession. Your brain couldn’t decipher what exactly the confession was, and if it was the same as your own.

“Jungkook, I love you.” The silence that followed was deafening, and you knew that this wasn’t what he meant.

“You love me?” His voice was weak and that broke your heart even more than the silence.

“Yes. And it hurts.”

“I’m sorry.”

***

It wasn’t fair. It was hopeless. It was devastating.

Why did you have to be the careless one? Did you have to be the one to fall in love with him? You guess you weren’t the only girl in the world who had fallen for the charms of Jeon Jungkook.

Leaving one last text, you curled up on the floor, knowing you had to start the healing process again.

To: Gukk

I miss you.

Come back

Be here

#bts #Jungkook #jeon Jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

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terezis · 5 years

Note

knight/king au...... :eyes:

people are disappearing in neverwinter.

people from all walks of life; rich and poor, peasants and nobles alike. last week three different servants went missing in the middle of their shifts on the castle grounds—vanished without a trace. it’s put the queen on edge.

the investigation is slow-going, with so little evidence left at the scenes of the crime, but she does what she can. a curfew is issued, as is a reward for anyone with a solid lead. the militia is brought in from the countryside, and even then they never patrol alone. and for her son, the crown prince, a gift; his very own knight, sworn to protect him from harm.

kravitz hates him.

look, he gets it! he’s the heir to the throne. if something were to happen to him, well—his mother has no other remaining kin. the situation would be dire. but out of all the people he had to be stuck with… did it really have to be this guy???

like, seriously, how is he supposed to trust this man with his life?

taako is arrogant. taako is belligerent. worse still, taako is lazy. kravitz supposes he should feel comforted by the man’s prodigal magical talent—it’s the reason why he was chosen for this job, after all—but it seems like taako would sooner sleep through an assassination attempt than he would stop one.

honestly? taako’s not really a fan of prince charming either. the guy is hella fuckin’ stuck up, like, dude was born with a stick up his (perky, unfairly attractive) ass. also, that accent he uses in court? completely fake. it’s weird, okay? definitely not endearing. what??? no.

besides, taako can’t really afford to get attached here. he’s going to murder this man in just a few months, after all.

SO TAAKO’S AN ASSASSIN.

more specifically, he’s an assassin enlisted by a rebel faction who blame the queen for the kidnappings. they believe she’s the one who has been “disappearing” the townsfolk; many of them were criminals or political dissidents; people that nobody would miss. people the kingdom might be… better off without. take lup, for example: she was known for sticking her nose in places it didn’t belong. she was one of the first people to disappear.

anyways.

taako ingratiates himself further into kravitz’s life. stony silence becomes bickering as they become more familiar with each another; bickering quickly devolves into flirting. but it’s fine. they’re not serious. taako thinks it’s all very funny until kravitz leans over and kisses his hand, feather-light, sweet, and then it’s kravitz’s turn to laugh when taako turns bright red. they’ve both got a crush and it’s awful.

one day taako escorts kravitz to the market and catches him giving his lunch away to some hungry kids when he thinks nobody’s looking.

they eat dinner with the queen that night, just the three of them. she works through her meal—pores over eyewitness reports and testimony again and again. another dozen people have been stolen away during taako’s tenure at the castle, and the queen is at her wit’s end. kravitz is worried. angry.

taako does not want to kill these people.

so he sneaks out under the cover of nightfall and meets up with lucas to explain that he doesn’t the the raven queen isn’t responsible for the kidnappings.

lucas laughs. “uh, obviously,” he says. “i thought you knew that, taako, c'mon.”

taako’s like, “what the fuck, no???? where the hell is my sister???”

lucas crosses his arms and tells him that she faked her death to further their cause. the queen needs to be overthrown. lup believes that. doesn’t he?

taako pauses. he looks around lucas’s lab—it’s also the rebel faction’s home base. they’ve drawn a bit of a crowd. taako looks out at the group’s faces, and realizes: it’s nearly everyone that’s gone missing.

the raven queen took something from all of us, lucas says. for me it was my mom. it’s time to take back what’s ours.

taako says again, “where the hell is my sister???”

and lucas is like, don’t worry about your assignment. legion is on its way to finish what you started. it’s fine.

taako’s heart drops. oh, fuck. forget this asshole, he needs to get back, he needs to—and as soon as taako turns away, lucas knocks him out.

when taako wakes up, the rest of legion is long gone. he dashes back to the castle to find it under siege. he makes it back to kravitz’s quarters just in time to see a hooded figure slip into kravitz’s rooms. taako rushes in.

there’s a fight!

i know i said taako was hired for his magic but also, consider: taako using a sword.

i wanted taako to come clean to kravitz before the attack, but i don’t really think there was a place for it… maybe taako takes out the assassin, and then when kravitz demands to know what’s going on, taako begins to explain? i just really like it when there’s a #betrayal. kravitz feels betrayed. taako’s been trying to drag kravitz somewhere safe as they talked, but when kravitz realizes what’s happened, he stops dead in his tracks.

AND THEN SURPRISE, A SECOND ASSASSIN.

is this a little cliché? maybe, but guess what, i don’t care. they’ve got the element of surprise, this time, and when they go in for kill, this time taako’s too slow to react properly. he flip-wizards in front of kravitz, because kravitz is unarmed, and… well, ya boy gets stabbed. ya boy takes the big hit.

oh nooo.

the last thing taako sees before he passes out is kravitz picking up taako’s fallen sword.

…

taako wakes up in the infirmary some time later. on his right side is kravitz, soundly unconscious in a shitty hospital chair and snoring. on his left side is lup.

lup!

lup is like, so. you and prince charming, huh?

taako is like, excuse—excuse me??? you’ve been missing for six fuckin’ months and the first thing you want to talk about is my nonexistent love life???

lup looks over at kravitz, still snoring, and then glances back over to taako. looks pretty existent to me! she says. when’s the wedding?

and taako’s like, lup, what the fuck.

and lup laughs a little and then she sighs, and she’s like yeah so i discovered lucas’ plot to do a whole buncha murders and when i confronted him about it he knocked me out. i guess he? disappeared me??? i woke up in phandalin.

lup goes on to explain that by the time her concussion healed and she made it back to neverwinter, taako was already posted up in the castle - pretty much impossible for someone like her to get to. she went to the captain of the guard with what she knew, and it’s not that davenport didn’t believe her; it’s that he needed proof before he could take this to the queen. so she’s been biding her time ever since.

(man. i feel bad that i keep sidelining lup in these aus. someone ask me to talk abt the sequel to this story where lup is a fuckin’ spy for the raven queen LOL.)

i think when legion attacked lup arrived in time to defend the castle with the guard? maybe she saved the queen? so when taako’s like, “am i headed straight to the dungeons for treason or what,” lup’s like, lol, who do you think you are, lucas miller?? nah, son, we’re heroes.

and taako’s like, squints???

and lup’s like, you did technically save frog prince’s life over there, koko.

and taako’s like, squints harder.

it’s at this point that kravitz wakes up. lup excuses herself. she’s gotta go talk to cap'nport about a job offer. ;-) taako and kravitz are left alone.

it’s awkward. there’s so much between them now. too much, probably. taako lied a lot. he fidgets in the hospital bed. his stab wound itches.

“taako,” kravitz starts. “i think—”

“—I’M NOT REALLY A KNIGHT,” taako says. he presses his lips together, eyes wide. kravitz is staring. “i’m not really a knight,” he says again, quieter. “i, uh—i lied. to you. yeah.”

there’s a long, pregnant pause, wherein taako begins to regret his entire existence. and then kravitz starts to laugh.

“you aren’t?” he asks, smiling.

taako’s heart flutters. “nah, homie,” he says, “but i’m a pretty baller chef.”

“well, i’d love to try your cooking sometime,” kravitz tells him, and then he takes taako’s hand and kisses it.

#Anonymous #I'M A SUCKER FOR ROYALTY AUS AND ANON KNOWS IT!!!!#taz tag

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