#also it is a different set from my last. new sharpening and colors!
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Tea time
Type:one shot
Pairing: Azriel x reader
Summary: Yn sees a new kind of tea while shopping at one of her favorite shops, come to find out it’s a strong form of aphrodisiac, reverting the drinkers to ‘their most primal instincts’. Not believing it she decides to make it for her and her mate as a joke.
(A/n, this is my first go at smut. I’m so sorry if it sucks. Also sorry I haven’t posted in forever, I had like zero ideas- this why I need y’all to help me, I can’t make decisions for myself. Anyway on too the Oneshot)
Azriel is out on yet another spymaster mission, so to kill a bit of time, I stroll through the isle of my favorite tea shop in Velaris, Trixies tea time shop. As I’m looking through the different teas I spot a box I’ve never seen before, it’s red and black, with a heart on the front, looking at the description to see what it tastes like I see something…interesting.
This is a drink to give you and your partner a once in a lifetime experience. The natural roots in this drink revert one to their most natural state, all while tasting like sweet and sour cherry.
I inspect the box for a few more moments before ultimately deciding to take it. My poor Az has been so stressed lately, maybe this could help him unwind and lead to a night of fun for the both of us, also wever tried nearly every method to get me pregnant as we desperately want a little one of our own. Besides what’s the harm if it’s simply a hoax. Taking the three new times I’ve grabbed to the desk, the woman-Trixie who I’ve made friends with smiles as she looks at the red and black box.
“So you’ve got plans for tonight?” She teases softly as she tells me my total. I roll my eyes before thanking her and walking back home.
———
“Hey Az baby?”
“Yes love?”
“I’ve made some tea for us.” I smile softly as I set it on the coffee table in front of where he sits reading on the couch.
“Thank you sweetheart.” One of his rare smiles save for me graces his lips as he kisses my head softly before picking up the glass and bringing it to his lips. “Hmm, this is new? What is it”
“Oh just a new one at Trixies I saw, figured we could give it a try.” I bring my own glass to my lips and we both simply sit in each others presence until we’re done and take them to the kitchen.
I lay with my head in Az’s chest moments later, his hand absently running through my hair as he continues his book. “Is it hot in here?” He asks out of the blue, pulling at the color of his shirt.
“Yeah, yeah I suppose a bit.” My eyebrows scrunched as I just now noticed the sweat dripping from his forehead and my own dripping down my back. I sit up as he continues clawing at his shirt. As he peals it off with a grunt more arousal then I thought I’d ever had sweeps through me like a wave.
As my mate turns to me I hear him audibly growl before he opens his mouth and I see his canines sharpening and his eyes darkening. “What-“ another grunt, “-what was in that tea?” His voice seems deeper and by the mother I’ve never thought this male could be this attractive.
“I-it said its to bring us to our most primal instincts-I didn’t think-I thought it was a hoax.” I’m panting as all I can think about is the man in front of me turning me into his bitch, filling my womb with his seed and giving me his babies.
“I think-I don’t think it’s a hoax love.” The last word growls and an involuntary moan leaves my lips as a smirk graces his features. “I don’t think-gods you don’t know how badly I want to put you on all fours and make you my bitch, get you nice and round with my babies. How much I want to fill your womb as you beg me to stop.”
I crawl to the male like a bitch in heat. “Do it Az. Make me your bitch.” I’ve never sounded more desperate or horny in my life as something flickers in my mates eyes and he lunges for me with a growl like a predator to pray, his hand landing on my throat as the other wonders my body.
“I’m gonna make you my bitch, gonna have you begging for my babies. Do you want my babies? Want to be big and round for me?” I nod breathlessly as his hand squeezes the supple skin of my thigh. “Words baby.” His hand squeezes my neck, just enough to have me struggling slightly for air.
“Y-yes sir. Please, fill me with your babies, get me nice and round.” Just like that the weight of his body is gone and all I can do is whine, my body feeling almost heavy.
“Take off your clothes and get on all fours.” He grunts as he takes his painfully hard cock from the restraints of his pants, that’s when I notice it, a swelling knot at the base of his dick. I make quick work of slipping from my restraining clothing and getting on all fours, my Butt slightly raised and pointed towards the male. “Good girl. Such a good girl for me.” His face goes to my neck as he rubs my back and thighs.
A yelp leaves me as he sniffs my pulse point before biting down. Hard. Just as he does this his hand shimmies to my clit, rubbing softly before delving to my folds, spreading the soaked lips and feeling around them as I moan uncontrollably. He takes his fingers and brings them to my lips, “open.” I immediately obey and he sticks them in my mouth, I moan at the taste of myself on tongue as I suck his fingers like a whore. “Now here’s what’s gonna happen, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk, I’m gonna fill you with my seed and make sure you know who owns you.”
“Yes sir.”
“Say it again.”
“Sir.”
A throaty moan leaves my mate just before he pushes into my slick folds and my head falls back in pure ecstasy.
Azriel pounds into me, his lips assaulting my neck as moans and grunts leave us both, at this point he’s fucked me in nearly every position, his cum dripping down my thighs as he pushed in again and again from behind me where I lay on my stomach. Bite marks litter both our skins, particularly near our pulse points where a delicious scent I’ve never smelt before radiates from him. “Gonna, gonna cum baby.” He sighs as he furiously drags himself in and out of my tight pussy, a ring of cream at the base of his knot. His words finish off my building orgasm as I cum hard enough to see stars. Azriel lets out one last chesty moan before his knots slips into me and I get dizzy, never have I been this full as he paints my wall with yet another load.
My mate falls to his side, me going with him seeing as we’re attached, however I don’t think I would be able to move on my own without him anyway. Az pulls me tight to his chest, nuzzling his face in my neck softly as he slowly falls asleep, snores falling from his parted lips.
——————-
I know it sucks but I tried ok. Please give me ideas guys! My suggestion box is open and in need of some good ideas. Love y’all.
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How to recognize stolen gifs
Reposting is a constant problem that all gifmakers deal with, both here and on other social media platforms. Whether you're new to Tumblr or just passing by, I'm going to provide an explanation on how to spot a repost and what to do with it. I'll cover both Tumblr and Twitter since, unfortunately, Twitter is the most common place for gifmakers to find their content.
Let me start by saying that most gifmakers have a unique style. We can recognize stolen gifs by their crop/dimension, sharpening, and coloring settings. After a couple of years, you're able to find the set of adjustment settings that you prefer the most. So even the most basic gifs (simple scene gifs) go through a lot before we post them on Tumblr.
If you're new here or don't know much about gifmaking you might be confused about what I meant by crop/dimension, sharpening, and coloring settings, so we're going to go through them one by one.
Crop/Dimension
On Tumblr, for your photosets to be displayed correctly, you need to follow the correct image dimensions. For example, if you post one gif, the width should be 540px (with a maximum height of up to 810px). If you post two gifs in a row, the width of both needs to be 268px (with a maximum height of 600px). And if you post three gifs in a row, two of them need to have a width of 177px, with an exemption for the middle one, which needs to be 178px (with a maximum height of 400px for all three).
Since the maximum height is not specified, all gifmakers have different specific dimensions that they prefer, and therefore they can recognize them easily. For example, if I were to post one gif, I'd make it 540x360 or 540x380, and if I saw it being reposted, I'd recognize it.
Sharpening
Sharpening refers to the Smart Sharpen Filter. This is a filter all of us use to make our gifs look crisp and less blurry. Similarly to dimensions, everyone has unique settings for their Smart Sharpen. Some people use it once, while others use it twice. There are also different values people input into the settings of that filter, therefore they can recognize it. I'm going to provide some visual examples of a gif with and without any sharpening.
As you can see, after applying the filter, the gif became more detailed and less blurry.
Coloring
Now, let's talk about what makes gifs special and unique. Coloring involves a set of adjustments applied to a gif to enhance brightness, and vibrancy, or to remove color tints and alter specific colors within the gif. Even the most basic gifs undergo this process. And as you might expect, everyone has their own coloring settings, ensuring that no two gifs are exactly alike.
One last visual example I'm going to provide is a comparison between a gif without sharpening and coloring and a gif with sharpening and coloring. This way, you can see the difference between what you witnessed on screen while watching a specific TV show and how someone edited that scene in a gif.
Personally, I'm always trying to give a gif more contrast, vibrancy, and brightness. One specific thing I do, which makes it easy for me to recognize my gifs, is changing the leaves in the background from green to yellow. I often aim for this little detail if I know that plot-wise TV show takes place in autumn but the filming took place in summer. Similarly, other gif makers have their own unique additions to their sets that are easily recognizable to them.
Now that we've figured out what makes a gif special and how gif makers recognize them, let's move on to the section about how you can recognize stolen gifs and what you should do about it.
Twitter
This one is extremely easy. Twitter is not exactly known for gifmaking. Sure, some gif-oriented accounts make gifs, but they're not as common as Tumblr gifmakers. However, when it comes to them, there are some ways to tell if a gif was made by them. Watermarks: Twitter accounts often watermark their gifs (Tumblr folks do that too, but it's less common, I'd say). Dimensions: Twitter uses different dimensions for gifs. On Twitter, the width of a gif needs to start from 1080px, in comparison to Tumblr's 540px. When people repost from Tumblr and post on Twitter, the quality of a gif is extremely terrible because of the different dimensions. So, if you don't see a watermark, there is a clear sign of coloring, and the quality is extremely low and pixelated - the gif is most likely from Tumblr.
You can try finding the gif's source by using Google reverse image search. Usually, it'll lead you to the original creator.
Tumblr
Spotting a repost on Tumblr is a bit more complicated but of course, there are ways to do it.
Different dimensions: On Twitter, people usually repost one gif, while on Tumblr, people repost whole sets. It just so happens that sometimes they repost different gifs from different sets. So, if you see a gifset and the dimensions of the gifs in it are not the same, then it's probably stolen from different sets.
Different coloring: Again, if the coloring of the gifs is drastically different, then it means it's probably stolen from different sets.
No creator's tag: Gifmakers often track their own creations using hashtags such as #mine, #mywork, #mine, and #gif. While sometimes gifmakers may forget to include their tag, if you notice a blog posting multiple sets without them and it looks suspicious, it's likely a repost.
No tags: To give gifsets more visibility, gifmakers often use tags such as #onedirectionedit #wtfockedit #filmtvedit or different source blog tags. Reposters don't know about it and don't use it.
Weird captions: Reposters often use gifs as reaction pics. So, instead of captioning a set with something like "Steve Harrington in 3x03", they're more likely to caption it with something like "he looks so hot here!" or "he's so pretty!!" Look out for sets with such captions that look like comments. Keep in mind that they often don't format those captions either.
If you saw the gif before: As mentioned previously, no two gifs are exactly the same. The chances of two gifmakers having the exact same settings down to a pixel are close to zero. So if you think you've seen that exact gif before, it's definitely a repost.
What can you do?
If you've been in the specific fandom for a while, chances are you might have seen that gif before and you might figure out who made it easily. You can also browse through your fandom's overall creations tag to try to find the original post and gifmaker. To do so, search for #yourfandom + #edit. For example, I currently gif the TV show called Wtfock, its creation's tag is #wtfockedit. Got it? Cool! After you figure out who the gifmaker is, you can send them the reposter's post and ask if that's their set.
If you can't find the original gifmaker on your own, you can try messaging other gifmakers from that fandom and asking whether or not they know who made the gifset.
You can also contact the reposter on your own and kindly ask them not to repost the gifs. Explain the Tumblr etiquette to them, there's a chance they're new to the website and simply didn't know about it. There's a chance they might listen to you and take down the post. If they choose not to listen and block you, you can once again message or send asks to different gifmakers from that fandom to inform them of the reposter so that they can block them.
You can also encourage the reposter to make their own gifs, especially if their excuse for reposting is "I don't know how to make my own gifs." While it may seem challenging, it's not impossible. This website is full of tutorials, and many gifmakers are open to helping out and explaining things if you're new to gifmaking. I'll leave a link to a comprehensive guide 101, just in case.
That's it! I hope this post has helped you understand what makes gifs unique, how to distinguish reposts from original posts, and what to do when you encounter a repost. If you have any more questions, feel free to leave messages in my askbox.
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Tiny cc making tips
Over the years of making cc i've picked up some tricks along the way. These are just some of them in a tiny format. So not a tutorial of any kind, just some tips and tricks! I'm sure many are already doing some of these things and some might require you to Know things already. This is NOT the only one way to do things, it's just how I do things. I wont go in to super detail since it's not a tutorial but i'll try to add as much info as possible and then let you figure it out. Or send an ask.
When naming things, images, packages, blends, whatever files in relation to cc making, create a naming system! Trust me when i tell you it will make your cc making process a lot more streamlined. My system is as follows: "BG maxi dress flower on shoulder pink fem". What we learn here is that it's a base game maxi dress with a flower on the shoulder, and it's the pink swatch. This way, if it's a blender file, i know i can export the diffuse map directly inside blender if i need it later without having to locate the dress in s4s. Fem is there to show what frame the mesh is from without having to open it. Same goes for "masc" items. For example "CL open jacket long sleeves turtleneck camo blue". This tells us it's city living and an open jacket with long sleeves in camo blue and has a turtleneck.
Note: sometimes a pack name will have a similar abbreviation, like Cottage Living. My way is just adding another letter or two, COL. Or if the pack only has one word like Toddlers or Strangerville, you could then call it TOD and SV for example.
Make folders! One thing i find that makes things a little easier is that i make folders separating things. So first i have the project folder inside my cc making folder. Let's say i'm making a short satin dress, i'll make a folder "Short satin dress". Inside there i'll make a folder for blender files and one for image files. Inside blender folder i make a folder for lods and inside image folder i make folders for swatches and one for maps. If you're making a fem and masc framed version of the same thing, separate folders by frame as well, so you have a main folder inside "Short satin dress" for fem and one for masc etc and so on. This is so you don't mix textures and blend files up, because for example, sometimes the diffuse map sits differently on a masc frame mesh compared to a female framed mesh.
One thing i hate about making cc (other than MAKING cc.........) is making textures. I'm not good at it and this d.o.a game eats textures like it's the last can of catfood in the world, compressing it to hell and back. One thing i've learned and my friend @faaeish told me about is that adding a bit of noise helps! What i like to do, once i have finished my base layer i know i will recolor later, i make a noise layer out of it using "Noise [Additive] with this plugin and i do Output mode: New layer(s) at the bottom. I use gimp but this plugin can also be used with nearly every program under the sun, including ps. It's also online based. You can play around with the settings but i like to use something like below. One thing i realized well, just the other day is that, if you use RGBA noise instead of gray noise, it adds a bit more depth and texture. But not too much! Just a smidgen, to give the texture and the color fill layer more pixels to cling to and it will minimize the risk of artifacts. Ugly blobs, essentially. Once i have that noise layer i alpha to selection on my base layer, invert and sharpen and click the noise layer to remove the access around that the filter adds. I'll also clean up any alpha channels, filling them with white if i need to. Then i play around with layer modes on the noise layer, add a color fill above that and maybe i'll duplicate the base layer and put above the color fill layer. Like below is an example.
Next is a thing for blender, tiny miniature tip but that i find helps me. And that's this little plus sign button when you "Save as.." in blender. So what you need to do when you FIRST save some edits on your mesh, say you swapped the sleeves out. You "File-Save as..-bg no pockets tshirt rolled up sleeves blue fem LOD0_edit0. 0. Zero is important. You need to save the very first save as 0. Next time you make any changes you Save As and click the plus and it will just change 0 to 1. Next time 1 to 2 etc etc. To me this makes it easier to go back in case i mess up. Which i sometimes do. Like the other day i noticed fingers were messed up and i had to go back to nearly the beginning of my edits to pull original fingers and sleeves from. And i always save right before i make any major edits.
That's all i can think of right now. I'll put a read more in case i think of more later. Hope this helps!
ooo 👻 welcome to under the cut aaaa 👻. But look at this photo i took of a photo i found among my grandmas old stuff. I guess the crops were hung that year.
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hi jenna gif questions for u 💜 what's your favorite part of making gifs? what's the most valuable thing/tip/trick you've learned? what's some of your favorite gif sets you've made?
hi ida!!!! sorry i took a couple days to answer this i wanted to wait until i had some time to think about it before i answer! i loooove these questions tho so thank you so much for sending them 💜💜
my favorite part about making gifs is probably coloring and like...that moment when i get the gif to look exactly how i want it to. i like to play around with coloring and try a lot of different things with it and that can be so fun! i think over the last like 6-8 months my coloring has really improved a lot and i've been having a lot of fun learning new ways to do things! but i actually had a really hard time coming up with an answer for this question because i mostly enjoy the entire process! the only part that i don't really enjoy is picking out the frames for each gif. i always start with way too many and then i have to cut stuff out and i hate that part. also it's reaaally hard sometimes to not end up with like 20 gifs cause there's so much i want to include!!!
okay im gonna cheat on this one and give a few things i've learned since i started that have been sooooo valuable to me. first is the importance of having a good quality download to start with. i think my gifs got significantly better when i finally downloaded all of the episodes in 1080p instead of using the screen recording on netflix like i had been before. second sharpening is so important! i did not do any sharpening on my first gifs i made! sharpening makes the gifs loook sooo sharp and crisp and pretty. third and kind of similar to sharpening was learning/figuring out how to use the camera raw filter. there's sooooo much you can do with camera raw filter (coloring sharpening lightening). and finally one thing i learned that i think made my coloring look significantly better was to try not to lighten the gif too much and/or to figure out ways to lighten darker gifs without it messing up the background too much (sometimes when they're lightened too much it will like pixelate the background and it looks awful)
and finally (in order of when they were made from oldest to newest) here are links to some of my favorite gifsets:
Bloody Dean Throughout the Seasons Set - this one actually came out really good considering the fact that it was made only a month after i first started making gifs! if i remember correctly it's the first set that i ever used sharpening on.
6x20 F+TM King Set - this one is a favorite mostly just because i love the song so much and tmwwbk is one of my favorite episodes. i think some of my favorite sets to make are the ones that i add lyrics to.
2022 Nov 5th Set - i was really happy with how this one came out! it's so hard to get gifs from episodes over different seasons to look the same! and this one had gifs from 12 different seasons! also i think this was the first set i ever made that got over 1000 notes which i remember being really excited about!
Laughing Dean Set - this one is a favorite purely based on the content of the set. it feels like injecting serotonin every time i look at it<3
1x12 Faith Set - another one based on the content of the set. i just love this episode so much.
Season 9 Dean Set - i LOVE the coloring in this set! and season 9 dean is so beloved to me. he is just so beautiful and bloody and sad.
2023 Cas Day Set - another f+tm lyric set! i love the space overlay that i added and the blue-pink of the coloring so much!
4x18 Destiel Every Episode Set - i loooove this scene so much! this gif series has by far been more popular than any of the other gifs that i post and this set is definitely the most popular in the series. no other set has ever even come close to getting 4k notes like this one did. also i really like the purple coloring a lot<3
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you WILL perceive my OC process / thoughts / ETC . had an idea for a game the other day while in the shower (they weren't kidding that shower can think) . two main characters they are sisters , you start playing as the older one ETC , and the idea is that she is withdrawn , nervous , responsible and insecure about where she is in life (she is about to start college this is important to the plot but not for what I'm talking about rn) . first instinct was to give her short spiky black hair
first thing I drew (did a couple alt hairs tho) but I felt like the expression did not match what I was going for at all (she is the type to try her best to look calm and reliable) , and neither did the clothes which I drew with the beauty of the opossum in mind . very prevalent today for no reason still a wonderful animal . I did like the hair though and I wasn't ready to give up on the opossum vibe (lol) , so I decided to do a paper doll type thing and start drawing by clothing layer so I could go slowly and think about what she'd be wearing
did not have the willpower to try & make the hair look the same in the paper doll version , didn't wanna overthink her expression either so I really ended up with a completely different character . . . who I really like !!
I have always wanted to do a story set in a cold climate , really had an idea for a different character back in high school (blonde, earmuffs, cheeks are always pink), but gave up on her when I just couldn't figure out what I wanted her to look like . . .
I got the idea for this character to be either in the 3rd or 4th year of high school , she's pretty much an outcast out of habit at this point , enjoys taking walks and being in places she has no business being in . I thought of her being talked to by a teacher (librarian?) on the subject of not just her grades but mostly her behavior at school, gives me the chance of saying if there is something bothering her and affecting her behavior then there is something she needs to get over but I really dunno how to write (think) about something like that ;_;
^ her & her bag . . . NOTHING IS TO SCALE !!!!!!! she has:
- notebook: ripped the used pages from a previous notebook and just kept the empty ones, the thing is beat up to the point the spiral's coming off and the corner of the cover is peeling off ... the cover design is a cloud castle with rainbows , a bundle was on sale and while she doesn't really like it , she doesn't particularly dislike it either .
- pencil case: heart-themed , the fabric is starting to fray after years of use . in it she has: a highlighter, a ballpoint pen, a regular pencil (chewed up), a tiny colored pencil, a container + sharpener combo, and three erasers: one of them is just a formless little thing, the other is a brand new one that she doesn't really wanna use because it's brand new, and the last is one of those useless decorative ones, shaped like a flower. no white-out because she is very very brave .
- water bottle: literally just a plastic bottle she bought a while ago & keeps washing & reusing . getting more & more crumpled up by the SECOND . . .
- strip of paracematol: self explanatory . doesn't get headaches TOO often, just often enough to justify carrying a strip of it around lol
- juice box + tupperware: her mom cuts apples for her and always gets her apple juice cause apples were her favorite fruit growing up ... she really prefers oranges now but doesn't have the heart to tell her . tupperware also has soda crackers . must be mentioned that this is NOT her lunch, just a snack. she gets free lunch at the school cafeteria ! only tasty less than half the time tho ....
- library card: she uses it a lot and has been doing so for a very long time . usually reads non-fiction about unexplained events (she likes ones involving forests the most), but is starting to enjoy horror & sci-fi a bit more lately
- Frankenstein (borrowed from the library): her current read, which she is really enjoying , though she's not sure if she is really getting the "message" of it . happens a lot with fiction books, which is why she doesn't read a lot of them
- flashlight: permanently borrowed from her dad (he insists he's gonna ask for it back eventually so she needs to take good care of it), she uses it for exploring. it gets dark pretty early and the library closes pretty late, so she just goes wherever she wants while her parents think she's at the library . they believe her because she does spend a lot of time there and she keeps feeling guiltier and guiltier ...
- opossum plushie: pretty much her best friend, she carries him everywhere . very soft fur , nice and squeezable too !!
OK ramble over for neow maybe . . .
MILA
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heya! i’ve noticed that the gifs you make are verryyyyy high quality. i’m new to gif making (literally just downloaded photoshop yesterday 💀). how do you manage to upload your gifs without tumblr compressing it? or i guess, how do you edit your gifs so that it’s a smaller file size?
first of all
😳💖
thank u for the kind words this means so much to me 😳😳😳 and congrats on your new bat mobiel photoshop hope u have the best fun w it!!!
(re: uploading) I don't really do anything special. i just click the lil blue new post button select image and choose the gifs to upload. i think whether or not or how much tumblr compresses our gifs**, as long as they're ok quality they'll be able to withstand it.
(re: file size) i don't think i do anything special either but here's my setting. i stick to 540 px width and don't cut them too long. the only other thing i would change is the number of colors. most of the time i will compromise color for size (i try not to go below 128 colors)
(re: making them good quality) i avoid over-sharpening (pixelation) at allllllll cost. i'll choose under-sharpening over over-sharpening any given day. here is a lil write up from a while back on everything i do to sharpen my gifs.
besides that. since gifs can have 256 colors tops, the more 'neutralized' your gifs are, the less pixelation you get (so that the 256 colors can now all concentrate on bringing out the most realistic skin colors, for example). @ariesrain's gifs (hope you don't mind me using ur gif ariesrain!!) are excellent examples on how eliminating certain colors can make other colors in your gifs butter smooth (you can see the greens in the plants and the blues in the zippers were both neutralized. you also feel like ur looking at daniel ricciardo in person)
on the other hand, @3-13-3's works (hope you don't mind me using ur gif 3-13-3!!) are excellent examples on how giving your gifs more different & saturated colors can bring the liveliness to a maximum
in the end i think it's a matter of finding the right balance and doing things the way you like!! the same goes for gif sizing. some of my gifs look like they're gigantic (vertical) and goes on forever (duration) and have a decent amount of colors (if i do say so myself). in reality they're probably barely 10 colors away from being pixel art. the more extreme you want some factors to be (duration, height, colors), the more time you'll likely need to spend on finding the right balance (to keep it under 10mb). and over time you start to get a sense of which gifs are worthy of trying and which gifs will most likely be lost causes (ie there's no way you can do under 10mb at 9:16 vertical)
**p.s. i just did a lil research re gif compression (downloaded some gifs & compared them to the originals) and i think tumblr actually stopped rehashing (compressing) gifs some time during the last two weeks. With the older ones you can see signs of compression but with the new ones they're literally the exact same gifs down to the pixels. which is honestly good news!!
anyways. i'd be happy to go into more details if you have more questions! again ty for the kind words and for this ask and happy creating!!! 💖
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hi! do you have any tips on sharpening? my photoshop cs5 is messing with my old settings a bit and i'm looking for new ways of sharpening so it looks clean, and i loved your last snw gifset! thank u! <3
oh, hi!! thank you <3
oh god, the terror of sharpening. i recently had to create new sharpen settings cause i've started to use 2160 rips for my snw gifsets and it took me a while to find something that didn't make their faces look way too smooth, or, worse, overly sharpen it!!
i'm not the best at explaining things, so i wanted to see if i could find the tutorial i used to build my sharpen settings but i can't! i did however find this one here from @completeresources which seems similar and very easy to follow! i like to both sharpen and add a bit of blur to my gifs so they look crisp without looking grainy.
there are my current settings:
i recommend choosing a scene that you've colored before and isn't too hard so you can play around. i made various versions of the same gif as i was trying to find what i needed.
to give you a feel of what this does, i thought i'd remake one of the gifs of my last gifset as i still had the screencap folders on my desktop!
i choose the uhura scene cause i thought it was the gif which looked best.
here is the gif without any sharpen, only my coloring:
now let's look at the final result, using the action i screenshotted above:
look how better it looks! see how her eyes look very clear, and so does her skin. compare her lips, her cheeks, the gleam of her eyeshadow! look at her eyelashes!!
sharpen makes a huge difference!
but, take a look at the original gif! it already looks kind of good. why? cause i'm using 2160 and that's a game changer! that is what truly makes my gifs look so clear, not any special talent or trick!
cause i'm insane i also have the 1080 version saved, so i thought i'd take a look at the difference.
i ended up using the same sharpen settings as the one i posted above (i have a different action for 1080 gifs, but the 2160 action honestly looked better this time).
1080 rip using the same sharpen settings as above:
it looks pretty! i would post this without any problem and cry about how happy i am with the result because i am proud of it! but go back and look at the 2160 sharpened version, look how clearer the pixels look!
so yeah!! this my sharpening process, hope this helped you somewhat, i know i'm not the best at explaining things, so if you have any questions, please feel free to yell at me in the dms!!
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hello! an anon asked me to do a tutorial on how i do my gifs, so here is my attempt to do that but i'm so bad at explaining so bear with me
this tutorial is screenshot and link heavy!
vapoursynth
vapoursynth is really useful for resizing, clipping and sharpening gifs. i've learned how to use vapoursynth from this tutorial, if you're intrested in using it (the tutorial also explains how to set it up). with time i've started using different sharpening settings than the ones that are mentioned in the tutorial (these are settings i used to use). also you can download vapoursynth from here
i use photoshop 2020 to make my gifs
handbrake
nowadays i use handbrake for clipping, it’s super easy to use and free. upon opening the program, make sure your summary, dimensions, filters and video settings are set to this:
tbh the audio, subtitles and chapters don’t really matter. change the range from chapters to seconds, and find the time of your scene. type it into the boxes:
name your file at the bottom. make sure it ends with .mp4 then click the green start button. as soon as it’s finished, you can open it up in photoshop and start giffing!
i'll start with the very basics of my gif process, so if you know the basics of gif making, you can skip these few steps.
making the gif
first of all you go to file>import>video frames to layers
once you choose the video, a box will pop out (if you've chosen a video that has been encoded in vapoursynth or clipped in handbrake you can just click 'OK'. (if you're uploading a downloaded youtube video you'll have to trim the video with those two slides to your desired length)
i use the timeline to do my gifs (if you don't have it already opened go to window>timeline)
resizing
since I don't use vapour synth I crop and resize my gifs directly in photoshop. here you'll find a very helpful layout, made by @.dazzlingkai, with tumblr's dimensions for gifs and images. i usually do 540 x 450 for mvs. for cropping simply use the crop tool:
click on it and crop your gif. make sure you’ve set your dimensions at the top (this will help you with resizing):
after you’ve cropped it to your liking, click image at the very top then image size, and type in your dimensions:
hit enter and your gif will be fully cropped and resized!
sharpening
before you should delete any frames that you don't want in your final gif. to do it choose the linear menu above your timeline and then delete frames
after deleting the unnecessary frames choose the same menu again and this time choose select all frames
once the layers are selected, click on the little chevron down to set the delay of the gifs. i choose other on the pop out menu and my delay setting is 0,05s (for vids resized in vapoursynth 0,04s might be better)
afterwards convert it to video timeline
now onto the sharpening itself.
the sharpening will depend on the quality of the file and/or how grainy it is if it happens to be.
select all your layers (hold shift and then scroll to the last layer that is visible, it has the little eye next to it, and the delete the ones you don't need)
then go to filter>convert to smart filters
go to filter again, then select sharpen>smart sharpen
these are my first sharpening settings for 4k vids:
then i add another smart sharpen filter but with this settings to:
then I flatten the frames to clips.
click the linear menu>convert frames>flatten frames into clips
then convert it into timeline again and make frames from layers:
then delete the animation
select all the layers again and set the delay to 0,05s as before
good news! to make the process of sharpening shorter you can use this action created by @.lildohnut
coloring
i adjust the colouring accordingly to the video, but i always include these adjustments:
in most cases:
i set exposure to +0,25
gradient map 1 is a white-black gradient with it's blend mode set to soft light and a 15% of opacity
gradient map 2 is basically a copy of the first one BUT reversed and the opacity set to 30% and fill to 70%
gradient map 3 is a rainbow gradient with blend mode set to saturation, 15% and fill to 50%
in selective color 2 under the blacks tab set the black +10
saving
to save your gif go to file>export>save for web (legacy)
this are my saving usual settings
hope you find this tutorial helpful! 💜
#allresources#itsphotoshop#userbru#usermich#useroptional#usersource#completeresources#resourcemarket#photoshop tutorial#gif tutorial
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There’s a lot on Tumblr that I didn’t know I needed in my life. It gets distracting, but then sometimes it flares me up into wanting to make more. It drives me to want to make, either the art style, the ideas, the stories, or something else that makes me want to create. Even if it’s not drawing it could be writing or something else. That being said! Here’s todays art dump <3
This is pretty much finished, I may add some detail and touches later, but so far I’m happy with it.
The Komoraku or whatever I’m gonna call it is also going okay. I’ve colored everything, I just need to start adding detail, maybe a little more color differations but it seems to be going on fine. I’ll probably finish this tonight after I work.
Oh look! Turtle ocs? Nah it couldn’t be. Totally not a bunch of characters I made for the Prisoner’s Bale story. But seriously this is a lot of fun. This is pretty much the first iteration of the family so things could massively change before anything is set in stone. I’ve already changed Tobi’s age like 3 times already. I’m not totally convinced by Sophie’s design and Alex’s patters need some work for sure. There are a few other things I’m thinking about but you’ll have to wait for those changes to find out.
So why am I showing off the characters of Prisoner’s Bale? Well if I haven’t said or made it clear in my last posts (idk man sometimes I don’t make things easy) I’ve decided I’m going to make a comic for the story. Unlike Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? this one will be thought out very extensively. Think of this as sharpening my blade before I even try the Mother’s Land comic. ‘But wait, if you’re making two stories for rottmnt, then why are you making something that doesn’t relate at all?’ I hear you ask curiously while trying to get the cookie jar from the top of the fridge while I start to monologue. Ah, well I really like rottmnt and (as much as I’m happy we’re getting a new movie) I really don’t want to let it go just yet. I find fanfictions are the perfect way to help skills develop. If you’ve seen my Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? you may notice my writing skills are shit. I’ve also realized I tend to write myself into corners without realizing it before the last minute and have to rewrite almost everything, in fact I had a plan and when I posted the latest chapter I realized, oh wait oh shit fuck that means that this won’t work so that means oh god oh fuck shit fuck! I’ll let you guess what I fucked up lol. The point is I’m using my love of TMNT to help me develop better skills for projects that don’t need and can’t have the crutches fanfictions give. Does that mean all TMNT fanfictions do this? No, but this is what I use it for. I just feel like acknowledging it is good and something I shouldn’t be ashamed of.
So that’s my ramble. I hope y’all like the art. Maybe you found something useful and relatable hehehe. Oh and chapter 5 of OWHYBB is on its way. I can see it being finished around Thursday, but spring break is also over tomorrow so bleh! Things will def slow down when writing, still will have daily art uploads. Have a good day! I hope y’all remember not to eat too many cookies!
#monster#monster art#ao3#ao3 writer#mother’s land#sketch#rottmnt#bovine#mother's land#city#rottmnt au#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt oc#rottmnt leo#rottmnt prisoner's bale#prisoner’s bale#oh where have you been brother?#owhybb#is this entertaining!?#is this enough tags for you!?#character concept#concept art#if you guess what turtle species one of the four siblings are I’ll give y’all a treat#guess 2 out of 4 and I’ll show off concept of their home#3 out of 4 and I’ll show the secret character#guess all 4 and I’ll give ya something cruel#I love emotional damage
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Question regarding your gif making process if that’s okay - I’m teaching myself photoshop & was wondering if when you’re making gif sets, do you use the same colouring for each gif in the set, and if so do you like take a photo of the settings and just repeat it across each gif?? I hope this makes sense hahaha I’m a total rookie with ps. I love how clean your gifs are ❤️❤️❤️
Helloo 👋🏻
Thank you!! And no worries i always love talking about gif making <3
Unsurprisingly this got quite long so i'm putting it under a cut:
When i make a set, i always color from scratch. I don't like coloring psds because the stuff i make varies a lot so they are more hassle than worth. I find it easier to just start new, the first layers in my coloring process are usually the same, just the setting itself varies. For example i start with curves layer, but the setting for that layer is different from one gif or set to another.
I've made this post before explaining my sharpening and a bit of my coloring process, i recommend to check it out 👉🏻👈🏻
So, anyways! You don't have to do the same steps for all gifs, just select all the coloring layers (click on the first layer, click shift button on the keyboard, click the last layer), when you have them selected, click ctrl+ G to make a group. So now the layers are in a group (kind of like a folder).
You can drag the tab of the gif you're working on (so where it says the file name) lower, and it creates a new window for it. Now that you have it as another window just drag the coloring group to the other gifs!
If you use video timeline, put the coloring group on top of the gif layer.
If you use frames, put the coloring group on top of the last gif layer in the layers panel, otherwise it won't affect all the frames.
***********
If i'm making a gif set where all the gifs are from the same clip and the colors/lightning in that video clip don't change from gif to another -> same coloring for all the gifs in the set (example)
__________
If i make a set with a bunch of clips, then i choose to color one of them first, copy the coloring to the second gif -> if it looks ok, i leave it like that. If it doesn't look quite right, i adjust/add/remove layers. If it looks really bad, i delete the layers and start from scratch since sometimes that is quicker and easier than adjusting existing layers. (example) I think in that one i colored the second to last gif first, put that coloring to the other gifs and adjusted the layers individually for each gif, especially curves, levels and color balance to try to match them with each other as well as possible.
__________
If i'm making a set from the same clip BUT the lightning or smth else changes within the giffed moments
-> i color one of the gifs first, copy that to the other gifs and if they need adjusting then i do some changes. Could be more/less brightness, more/less contrast, adjusting color balance etc
I'm using this set as an example. Gifs 2-4 have the same coloring, it's the one you can see in this still of the 4th gif:
Then if i put that same coloring on the first gif, it looks like this ⬇️ Not horrible but needs fixing to look better and match the other gifs in the set better. So what is good? Similar brightness, contrast and vibrance. No need to touch those. What is bad? The skintone. It's kind of pink and grey and a bit sickly.
What do we do to fix it? ⬇️ Change the color balance layer to more green/yellow, maybe add an orange photo filter to add warmth, and with the selective color you can play around with the magnetas/yellows/neutrals. So now we get max who is a bit fresher looking and matches the other gifs!
***********
I hope this was helpful and good luck with your photoshop journey 🙏🏻 as always gif making is about trial and error and always learning. People also have different peferences to what kind of coloring (warm/cold/pastel/vibrant/bright etc) they like and there's not one correct answer. Some prefer using psds (saved coloring) and some are like me who always start new, whatever works best for everyone ☺️
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Six Phases FINALE Pt 1
Originally posted by sefuns
Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1) P(2) | Part 6 P(1) P(2) —– P(3) P(4) —– P(5) P(6) ||| ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1)✓ P(2) (also on AFF)
networks — @supermwritersnet @/bbh-net
pairing — Baekhyun x Riley (OC)
word count — 28k+ (Finale part 1 - [19k] & 2 - [9k])
genre — ceo! baekhyun, playboy! baekhyun, strangers to lovers, hurt & comfort (heaven knows they need that comfort), slow burn! kinda
[ contains: angst, fluff, smut ]
A/N: Buckle up, loves. Here comes a long one. ♡ Let’s go! (^-^)
•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •
⏰🌹Six Phases Tag List: 🌹⏰
@to-all-the-stories-i-love @insta1010 @sorrowinblood @bellamendoza @bbhflrt @weirdoome
I was unable to tag one of you so I’ll DM you from @candyfizzbyun 💗💗💗
•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •
July is upon us before we know it, bringing forth more of the summer's blazing sunlight and smothering heat. Jenny's birthday is right around the corner, merely 3 days into the hottest month of the year. There's no wonder why she's throwing a party in a venue that has both a beautiful indoors and outdoors setting. The breezy summer-style dress code for the event is a given—and I plan to crash it with my wintry flare.
It's July 3rd, 90 degrees, and I'm strutting down the stone path leading up to the venue in a two piece velvet outfit. The wine color compliments my skin, hugging my body in all the right places. Between the bra-shaped, crop top that ties in the back and my waist-high pants with high slits to reveal my nude colored heels underneath, I feel like the baddest and sexiest woman up in this bitch.
"Riley!" Jenny beams the moment I step through the door, looking stunning in her light blue dress. It's a plain form-fitting dress, but nothing is simple about her wearing it. The light blue material goes well with the ocean hue of her eyes. The sleeveless, spaghetti-strapped fabric that wraps around her beautifully is the shortest dress I've ever seen on her—and Jongdae should feel like the luckiest man alive to see her like this all the time.
Her makeup is done perfectly, highlighting the softness of her round face and sharpening the gaze in her oval eyes. She nearly runs someone over when she comes barreling my way in her black heels with a drink in her hand.
I laugh at her excitement, accepting her hug without hesitation. "Hey, Jen."
"Hey," She smiles, pulling back a little to look at me. "You're early."
A little grin forms on my face; if only she knew. "I didn't want to risk any traffic jams," I explain, smiling more. She's practically buzzing with happiness.
"Ah," She nods, pursing her lips. "Maybe I should have chose a different time-"
"Hey," I place my hand on her shoulder, giving her a look. "Relax. Everything will be fine."
She sighs but nods, her owl-shaped, dangling-earrings sparkling prettily under the warm lights. "I hope no one else gets stuck."
"They won't," I shake my head, adding cheekily, "Especially Chanyeol, he drives like a madman."
"That big oaf," She mutters, a smile back on her face. Her blue eyes meet mine before she takes my hands between hers. "Come, I want to introduce you to someone."
"Oh?" I inquire, raising a brow as she leads me further into the venue. "This isn't one of those matchmaking situations is it?"
"No. Fuck men." She immediately rebukes, fire burning in her eyes. "I'm not dealing with anyone's bullshit. Not on my day."
"Damn straight," I mumble, amused at the disgruntled expression on her face. Jenny and Jongdae are back together—if you can call their last fight a breakup. Witnessing him show up on their doorstep with her favorite chocolate and a new plant to add to their home was a sight to see. He must have done something else for her to react this way though. I can't help but chuckle. Half a year later and he is still tiptoeing around her. That Haneul must be someone significant. My lips downturn at the thought.
"Eunjung! Eunjung!" Jenny's loud voice brings me back to the present. "Ugh, where is that woman?" She grumbles, searching the extravagant room. More partygoers are starting to stream in, filling up the building with every shade of the rainbow and then some. My eyes drift over to the fruit buffet on the long tables in the back when Jenny's eyes widen. "There she is!" She smiles, leading me over to the mini bar on the other side of the room.
I follow her line of sight, my heart dropping in the blink of an eye. It's the same woman I've been seeing around Baekhyun since May. Her once long black hair is now a short brown mohawk, the curly ends perfectly framing her oval shaped face.
"Eunjung, this is Riley." Jenny smiles, gesturing to me. "The wild child I've told you about," She jokes.
"Hello," Eunjung greets in a low voice, smiling warmly. She holds out her hand to me. "I've heard so much about you."
I can only shake her hand and smile back, glaring at Jenny out of the corner of my eye when Eunjung is distracted by the bartender bringing her a drink. "Nice to meet you."
Jenny takes a seat while I survey the room, making sure there aren't any heads of silver hair around. Jongin won't be coming tonight, he's busy preparing dance classes for the elementary students that he'll teach for the upcoming school year, so I keep my head on a swivel. As much as I consider Jenny one of my best friends, her ties with a certain someone cannot be ignored after what happened the last time we went to a party.
"How's Miss Eunae?" Jenny's question catches my attention, pulling me back into their conversation.
"She won second place in a dance competition last month."
"Really?!" Jenny gasps and I stiffen.
"Yeah, I couldn't make it." Eunjung smiles sadly, swirling the melting ice in her drink. "Thankfully her girlfriend could. And Baekhyun too."
"Wait," I interrupt, feeling wary when both their eyes focus on me. "You have a twin?"
"Yes. About my height, long black hair." Eunjung sets down her empty glass on the counter. "You might have seen her around before, that woman can't sit still to save her life."
"She has a girlfriend?"
Eunjung and Jenny share a brief, knowing glance before turning back to me. "Yes." Eunjung smiles.
I clear my throat, avoiding their dancing eyes. "Good for her."
"They've been together since high school." Jenny nudges me, a shit eating grin on her face.
"I'll be surprised if they marry before you and Jongdae though," Eunjung raises her hand to get the bartender's attention again. "Chaeyoung is always working overseas."
My chest vibrates. I pull my phone out of my secret breast pocket, tuning out the rest of their conversation.
*
Sat, 07/03 - 7:30pm
Heartbreaker 😑💔😄
Y'all ready?
//
Earth shaker 😝💞😊
Ready as I'll ever be!
//
Heartbreaker 😑💔😄
Kyungsoo?
//
Cake master 🤗🍰🙏🏼
You owe me for this shit
//
♡ ♡ ♡ R ♡ ♡ ♡
I promise to help you bake in his place
\\
…
\\
As long as Dae and Yeol pick up the groceries :')
\\
Cake master 🤗🍰🙏🏼
Chanyeol delivers and Jongdae unpacks
//
I don't trust his clumsy ass anywhere near my produce
//
♡ ♡ ♡ R ♡ ♡ ♡
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
\\
Heartbreaker 😑💔😄
😂
//
Earth shaker 😝💞😊
Hey!
//
♡ ♡ ♡ R ♡ ♡ ♡
Ready guys?
\\
Cake master 🤗🍰🙏🏼
Yes
//
Heartbreaker 😑💔😄
Yeah
//
Earth shaker 😝💞😊
Mmhm >:(
//
♡ ♡ ♡ R ♡ ♡ ♡
Let's go 🤫🎂🚚💨✨🥰
\\
*
I can't help but chuckle, pocketing my phone. When I look up, Jenny is the only one sitting at the counter. "Hey," I frown, noticing the sad look on her face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," She mumbles.
"Come on," I rest my hand on her arm, trying to catch her eye. "I can't let the birthday girl mope. You can tell me."
A smile quirks at her lips. "I just…" She sighs, turning to me. "I can't believe Jongdae is busy with work today."
"Awe," mimicking her poked out bottom lip, I nudge her softly. "Well, I guess you're just stuck with me—Deal with it."
"Riley!"
I burst out into laughter, back hugging her when she playfully pushes me away. "Hey, don't lose hope, yeah? He might surprise you."
"No he won't," She mumbles, full on pouting now. "He never surprises me."
"Well," Making eye contact with a certain mischievous brunette on the other side of the room, I tap her shoulder. "Maybe that will change today."
Jenny turns her head and gasps, leaping off of her bar stool. "Chanyeol? Kyungsoo? Jongdae?!?!?!?!"
Everyone in the room watches on with smiles on their faces, but Jongdae's is the brightest of all. "Hey, babe," He beams, opening his arms.
Jenny sprints over to him, colliding so hard with his body that she almost sends them both to the floor. But Jongdae takes it all in stride, holding her close while bellowing that signature laugh of his.
Smiling at them, I quickly walk over to help Kyungsoo and Chanyeol roll in the food cart. "Hey guys, everything okay?"
"We made it all in one piece," Kyungsoo mutters, glancing at the tall dome plate cover. "The cake too."
"Three different chocolates?"
"Mmhm."
"Perfectly symmetrical?"
"Yep," Yeol chimes in.
I grin, "She's going to love it."
"She's going to love you, you mean." Chanyeol sets his shining eyes on me. "How did you even know all this?"
I give him a small, secretive smile, "I have my resources." His grin only widens. "Did the gifts come in today?"
Kyungsoo nods, "Right on time."
"The delivery man showed up just as we were packing the cake into the back of the truck," Chanyeol chuckles, nearly tripping over the edge of a carpet. Kyungsoo and I look at him with our respective wide and narrowed eyes.
"Huh," I purse my lips, nodding in approval. "Now that is some high class two-day shipping." They both hum in agreement, Kyungsoo straightening out the table cloth before they begin to set the cake onto the round table.
"You guys good?" I look between them when they succeed in placing it down. Thank god for that; if that cake falls to the floor that's all our necks.
Kyungsoo nods, "Go on." He gives me a look that's hard to identify. "He's coming too."
"Oh," My heart leaps at the thought. Oh. Shit. He's coming. I should have expected as much, but to actually hear it makes it ten times more real... Shit. "I-Imma just…" I point behind me to the backdoor, slowly walking backward. "You know."
They nod, Chanyeol's eyes holding a hint of sadness. "It's okay. We got everything covered."
"Thank you," I breathe, smiling apologetically. Spinning on my heel, I hurry as fast as my high heels allow to the door. With one last glance back to make sure Jenny is okay, I slip out into the summer night.
Music from within the venue spreads out into the backyard, but it's much quieter out here. I survey the area, making sure no one else is around. Not that I am against anyone being outside, I've just had enough social interaction for one evening… and the night has barely begun.
Sighing to myself, I walk further out onto the patio, my lips quirking up at the light blue cushions on the chairs. Jenny planned this event to the Tee, huh? I chuckle, sighing softly.
The deck is a nice light gray shade, contrasting against the black base of the table and lounge chairs. Running my eyes over them, I hum, choosing to lean against the table instead.
Pain buds in my chest when my thoughts wander. I shouldn't care—I really shouldn't but… Even after everything. Even after all this time, it hurts to think of him with anyone else. The thought of him holding someone in his arms, in his home, in his heart… It crushes me to the core. It eats me up on the inside. It keeps me up at night.
I shouldn't care, yet every time I hear his name, every time I see his face... I go back to that January night, and I regret it every single time.
No matter how hard I try, my head is constantly full of 'what ifs.' What if I stayed? What if he was willing to change? What would we be right now if I hadn't walked away?
I love—I loved Baekhyun with all my heart…
Can I really move on from this? Will I ever wake up one day and not imagine his sleeping face next to mine?
He could still have someone already for all I know, but for tonight… I rather tell myself that he is alone.
Leaning my elbows on the patio table, I watch the sunset, admiring the pink and orange hues streaking across the blue sky.
"You're staring."
"I love admiring art."
"So I'm an object now?"
The unmistakable love in his sparkly brown eyes… "You are the source," He pauses, holding my heart in his warm smile, "Of my love and affection."
My heart squeezes in earnest. God… why does this hurt so much? Why do his words linger in my mind and actions take hold of my heart? When will it end? When will it fucking end—
"Miss?" A low, raspy voice startles me.
I spin around, staring at the culprit with narrowed eyes. They widen as I take in the man in front of me.
The first thing I notice is his sharp jawline, leading up to his thin lips that curl up at the ends, reminding me a little of Jongdae. My eyes trail up further, taking in his tall nose with a rounded tip, his prominent cheekbones and narrow eyebrows. His slicked back, brown hair shows his broad forehead, and then—
His eyes…
They are the darkest shade of brown that I've ever seen, their almond shape perfectly suiting the rest of his face. They appear black in the dim light of the setting sun. Looking into them has me feeling many things, wondering what story those dark pools of molten hot coffee hold.
"Are you alright?" He asks, his low voice in a husky tone that I'm slowly getting used to hearing… until I feel the drop that lands on my cheek.
"Oh—yeah!" I inwardly curse, hastily rubbing the tear from my cheek. "I-It's just, you know... allergies."
He nods and I cringe on the inside because I know he can tell that I'm completely bullshitting him right now. "What are you doing out here?" He inquires, tilting his head. His tone of voice isn't judging or hostile, it's more… caring. And sweet. I wish I could read his eyes though...
"Needed a breather," I shrug, repositioning myself in a more attractive manner. I am not about to let some stranger see me hanging out back here like a socially awkward potato on top of everything else—I refuse. "You?"
"Business call," He murmurs distractedly, repocketing his vibrating phone.
"Oh," I inwardly roll my eyes. Right. As if I don't have enough business men in my life.
"The Tech team found a corrupted file," He sighs, checking his expensive gold watch. "They don't know how bad it is yet… The film might have to be delayed."
Film? I perk up at that. "You help film movies?"
He smiles, glancing up at me, a lock of hair falling over his eye. "I'm the director."
A very casual one at that; I note, taking in his outfit. He's decked out in a light blue denim jacket and a white t-shirt, but I know those aren't cheap. Nope, I've seen enough of Baekhyun's cotton shirts to—
"What's the theme?" I blurt out, curling my hand into a fist as I lean further back on the table. "Classified information?" I raise a brow, smirking at his speechless face.
"Aish…" He closes his mouth, smiling a little. "Something like that."
"Eh," I shrug, smiling softly. "I can respect that."
The temperature suddenly starts to drop. A chilly wind blows, ruffling the ends of his hair. The scent of something I haven't encountered before reaches my nose. Bourbon and vanilla; citrus and peach... It's hard to describe, but it creates an aroma that catches my attention.
"What's your name?" I tilt my head, my eyes widening at the sparkle that reflects in his dark eyes from the last rays of the setting sun.
His eyes widen before he points to himself. "Me?"
"Who else, silly?" I laugh, holding back a snort, a smile tugging at my lips at the sheepish look on his face. He's pretty cute, I'll give him that.
He clears his throat, looking away. "Jackson."
I fight back my smile seeing how flustered he is. "I'm Riley." A thought occurs to me for a moment… What is a business man—director doing here? This is an invitation-only event, and I helped Jenny painstakingly arrange the guest list... "How do you know Jenny?"
"Hmm?" Jackson blinks, flickering his eyes back to mine. "Oh!" He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's an old friend."
"Oh," My eyes narrow in the last rays of sunlight.
"We kept in contact after her and Yugyeom split," He explains, and the apologetic expression on his face has my eyes widening again. Did he just see through me? Uh—Wait.
"Oh my god, Yugyeom?—Kim Yugyeom?"
"Yes…" He trails off, looking me over carefully. "Do you know him?"
Do I know him? My reddening cheeks are enough of an explanation. "Not really," I laugh awkwardly, standing up fully. Alright, I've had enough human interaction for today. Between him, the discovery of Eunjung's twin not seeing Baekhyun, meeting someone who is friends with that tall guy I was drooling over months ago, and having to keep Jenny's birthday surprise a secret all week, I'm drained. Time to go—
A crack of thunder echoes across the sky, and then the bottom drops, rain drenching us in seconds.
Well shit… Did none of us check the weather for today? I rack my brain for answers, trying to remember—oh... Oh. Jenny… likes… thunderstorms…
The rain continues to pour, soaking my velvet outfit and flattening my hair without remorse. It won't melt me, but the venue is a city away from Seoul and if I don't hurry home now...
"Well!" I turn away to hide the bitter smile on my face, pushing off of the slippery table. "Time for me to go. Nice meeting you, Jackson."
"Wait-"
I puff up my cheeks, blowing the air out as my hair sticks messily to my forehead. Fighting the urge to brush it back is difficult, but if there's one thing I know about my hair when it's wet, it's the agony that comes with ruffling it up. I rather not cry while detangling it when it's air dried later—
A yank on my arm makes me yelp, my head slamming into something hard when thunder cracks across the sky again, followed by the horrifying crackle of lightning. My head snaps up, eyes squinting against the onslaught of rain. I can barely make out Jackson's face, his features twisted in concern with his hair mattered to his forehead like a mop. The sheer amount of fear in his wide eyes has me more than confused. I take a look around, my heart stopping right in its tracks.
The doorknob of the back door sizzles, steam floating from it in a cloud of smoke. The crack from a lightning bolt visible as the rain washes the spark away.
My face pales when I look back up at the man in front of me.
Jackson steps back, steading me with his hands on my arms when my knees buckle. "Sorry," He clears his throat. "I tried to warn you but-"
"Thank you," I mumble, moving away when I find my balance again. "That could have been…" My head spins at the thought, "Bad."
He nods with a concerned frown, worry written all over his handsome features.
"...Well!" I clear my throat, giving him a small smile. "Thanks again for saving me, stranger." I joke, my eyes shooting down when I feel something rough shielding my shoulders from the rain. "Oh-" They snap back up to meet his, "You don't have to-"
"Keep it." He shakes his head, placing his denim jacket fully on my shoulders. "You're shivering."
"I…" My face is so hot the rain does nothing to cool me down. "Thank you."
Jackson smiles, shoving his hands into his pockets. "No problem." He starts walking backwards, glancing up at the sky before propping open the back door with his leather boot.
"Wait!" I blurt, blushing all the way up to my ears when he looks back at me, having to raise my voice over the unmerciful wind. "H-How will I return it without your number?"
A shy yet boyish grin forms on his face. "Not here."
"Huh?" I blink.
Jackson smiles even more, holding the door open before giving a little bow and outstretching his hand to me. "Ladies first."
A dozen thoughts race through my head while looking at his waiting hand, the action so familiar my heart tugs painfully in my chest. Smiling my prettiest smile, I place my palm in his.
•••
I forgot how refreshing it is to talk to someone new. Stepping out of my comfort zone to get to know a person outside of my friend group—an attractive person at that.
Texting Jackson is a treat. He's a man of high intellect, giving me great advice with years of director experience under his belt. The most shocking thing is that he is only 24—24! Two years older than me. He breaks my dating rule of pursuing anyone less than 4 years older than me, but his maturity makes up for it. Age doesn't define maturity as I have come to realize after a certain someone.
He's super sweet too. We haven't been able to see each other in person since Jenny's party last month, but a day hasn't gone by where we haven't texted. And boy does he text—the most flustering things that is. Jackson has a way with words that makes my heart squeeze in giddiness and me hide behind my hand while peeking at my screen.
He laughs at all of my jokes; he sends good morning and goodnight texts without fail. If nothing else, he is a great conversationalist who would make an even better companion, and I can't wait to see him again. I have a denim jacket hanging up in my closet to return, after all.
A knock on my office door brings me back to the present. I blink a few times, carefully reading over the email I've been working on for the past 20 minutes. "Come in," I permit, glancing at the time. The sight that greets me on the other side of the door when it opens stops my typing in its tracks.
Ms. Kim Eun, the newly appointed book editor, steps into the room, setting off my internal warning signals. Her outfit matches the company dress code, that isn't the problem here. No, it's the sheer amount of dread, sorrow, and fear coming off of her shuffling body in waves. "You asked to see me, Ma'am?" She inquires in the most broken of tones. A fragility I know very well.
"Yes." Saving my progress on the computer, I beckon her over with a reassuring smile. "Please, have a seat."
She slowly walks further into the room, sitting down in one of the leather chairs.
"Ms. Kim," I start as tentatively and professionally as possible, lacing my fingers together on top of my desk. "It has come to my attention that you have been behind on editing the book."
"Oh..." She mumbles, fidgeting with the purse in her lap. "I-I'm sorry, I-"
"I understand you might have other obligations and factors outside of work," I continue, reading her steadily panicking face like a book, "But we don't have a lot of time to get this novel done. We're on a tight schedule here."
"C-Can…" Her eyes lift from the purse in her hands, still holding onto it for dear life. "Can you do it for me?" She whispers.
I let out a short laugh. "No." Her eyes shake as my face hardens. "You were appointed as editor 3 weeks ago, correct?"
She nods, fear glimmering in her wide eyes.
"Your job is to edit the book," I remind her, my lips pressed into a thin line. "That's what you get paid for, that's your responsibility."
"But-"
"If I could do it myself, I wouldn't need to hire you." Her bottom lip starts to tremble; she's about to break. "If you can't do the job, I'm going to need you to put in your 2 weeks," I slide the slip of paper across the desk, "In early. Unless you can get half of the book done by Friday."
"T-That's only 3 days," She gasps, her voice wavering. "I can't-"
"You've had nearly a month in advance to work on it as an Intern." My voice lowers, "I'm sure you have plenty of time to catch up in-"
"I can't!" She wails loudly, hiding her face in her hands. "I-I'm not qualified for this position. I'm just a high school graduate with inside connections." She sobs, the dam of her built up emotions spilling over. "I didn't even finish English 12 with an A."
My clenched jaw ticks. I know she isn't faking it; she's been off for the past two weeks. It's her lack of sharing this important information that is getting to me. If she isn't qualified to take over the editing position, why the hell is she—my eyes widen and then narrow. Mrs. Park.
Looking at Eun, I finally understand. Her bowed head, slouched shoulders, and quiet hiccups dawning on me as clear as day.
"My boyfriend c-cheated on me with my best friend." She croaks sorrowfully. "He said that I deserved it, t-that I made him do it from working late all the time." She runs a hand through her hair, laughing brokenly, her tears leaving a trail of inky black mascara in their wake. "My editing isn't good anyway."
Reaching across the desk, I offer her my box of tissues. "I know how you feel," I mutter, keeping my voice even. "You feel lost, broken and tossed aside as if a part of you is gone." She nods, sniffling while smearing the makeup under her eye. "You ask yourself how you will ever move on from it." Leaving the box on the edge of the desk, I meet her eyes again. "But you will move on." The conversation I had with Jongin in the studio that day comes to mind, quirking a small smile on my lips. "You will wake up one day and not think of them. As long as you want to. You shouldn't stay stuck on someone who has hurt you."
Tucking the resignation document into a drawer, I turn my sleeping computer back on. "You are worth more than how they've treated you, but you have to decide that for yourself."
"O-Okay," Eun sniffles, wiping her face. A couple tissues fall out of her hand, but her tears have stopped.
"Good." I lean back into my rollable leather chair with a stretch, smiling softly. "Let's settle this. Make me a list of your strengths and weaknesses."
Her wide eyes snap back up to mine. "I-"
"Now."
"Damn, Kyungsoo, how many of these cakes do you need in a day?" I sigh, my hands cramping up. We've been at it for hours, baking desserts at his restaurant because today is a national holiday. Funny how he let all his workers take the day off and here I am handling enough flour to make me sneeze in Jongdae's place.
Kyungsoo doesn't even look up at me, continuing to knead the dough in his hands. "I'd give an estimate but I don't want to overwhelm you."
I'd dramatically flop down into a chair if I wasn't molding a ball of my own dough, so I just groan instead. "You're killing me over here."
"Who offered to help me bake in Jongdae's place?" He raises a brow, shaping the churro in his hands with precession.
"It was all for the good of Jenny's last minute birthday cake!" I whine, starting to place a hand over my heart until I remember the torment I went through last time I got cake batter on this floral shirt. "Have you no heart?" I pout, giving him puppy eyes.
Kyungsoo slowly raises his head and I quickly get back to shaping the fancy doughnut in my hands without a word.
"So," I clear my throat, smiling sheepishly. "Did Dae and Yeol deliver everything okay?"
"They were late." Kyungsoo neatly arranges his perfectly shaped churros onto a tray, sliding them into the preheated oven. "Any later and the milk would have gone bad."
"Yikes," I wince, reaching to rub the back of my head only to pause mid-way, stopped by the wet flour sticking to my hand. "I should have helped more."
"Chanyeol would have slowed down to not give you motion sickness and then the cheese would have gone bad too." He points out.
"You sound a bit grumpy today," I note softly, glancing over at him again. "Did Chanyeol do something?" Kyungsoo starts another row of churros, staring blankly at me as he almost crushes the long sticks in his hands. "Okay, okay! I'll drop it, no need for the third degree. Spare the churro's life, please..."
"I'm going to ban him from my restaurant, I swear." He grumbles under his breath.
"At least he offered to help," I mumble, setting the last doughnut onto the non-stick pan. "How many more you got for me?" I ask, dusting off my hands.
Kyungsoo comes over to take the tray off of the counter. "None."
I raise a brow. "That's it?"
"No," He slides it in with the baking churros. "I'm sending you home."
I frown, "Why?"
"You're loud, chatty and keep dripping flour all over my floor." He deadpans. "And you're falling asleep."
Gawking at him for a few moments all I can do is huff. "I am not-"
"You're gonna get cake batter in your hair."
I flinch, putting my hand down at once. "Are you really kicking me out right now?" I mumble, blowing annoying strands of hair out of my eyes.
"You're fired." He wipes his clean hands with a towel and walks back over to turn on the sink for me. "Now go home and sleep."
"I don't even work here!"
He gives me a look.
"Alright, alright," I mutter, scrubbing flour from under my nails. "Fine. I'll be out of your hair-"
The chime on the door of the restaurant rings, capturing my attention. I crane my neck around to see who the hell is coming in here when there's obviously a "CLOSED" sign out front and it's freaking 9pm. My face pales at the black baseball cap and leather jacket figure stumbling through the door. I tug on the sleeve of the busy man next to me. Um, Kyungsoo-
They pull their hat off before they reach the middle of the restaurant, revealing a familiar flushed face and unmistakable silver hair.
Oh fuck no.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Kyungsoo," He mumbles, his head down while approaching the counter. "I got held up at the office and the traffic was-" His head snaps up just as I contemplate ducking out of view. "R-Riley…?" He whispers, his face paling. He looks like he's seen a ghost and I can't imagine I'm doing any better.
"You're late." Kyungsoo deadpans, busying himself with washing the used baking trays and utensils in the sink.
"I…" Baekhyun steps closer and I feel like I'm going to throw up. My heart isn't in my throat at this point, it's somewhere lost between my nose and my gag reflex.
"Have you been drinking?" Kyungsoo finally looks up from the spatula in his hands, his eyes narrowing at the lack of response.
Baekhyun's red face glows brighter under the harsh kitchen lights. He purses his lips, "No-"
"Where's your car?" Kyungsoo demands. "I'm not letting you drive."
"Kyungsoo, I'm fine," He rolls back on the heels of his feet, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "You have an important client coming in tomorrow-"
"I don't care who the hell is coming tomorrow." Kyungsoo cuts him off, full-on glaring at him now. His normally calm voice growing deeper with anger by the second. "I'm not letting you drive-"
"I'll take him home," I mumble, shrinking in on myself when both their eyes snap over to me.
Kyungsoo frowns, "Riley-"
"I'm taking him home, Kyungsoo." I cross my arms, shaking my head at the disapproving expression on his stern face. "You have a huge event tomorrow, you sent your staff home, and your kitchen is covered in cake batter," I list off of my fingers, daring him to say another word. "His apartment is on the whole other side of town. I think we both know what's the best course of action here."
Kyungsoo stands there silently for a long moment, but I don't back down, merely arching a brow. "Are you sure you'll be alright?" He softens, not even acknowledging the other man in the room.
"Yeah." I smile, uncrossing my arms. "I know I'm a disaster with a knife but I know how to drive, Kyungsoo. You got to give me some credit here."
"Alright," He chuckles, smiling a little before shifting his eyes back to the man on the other side of the counter. "Don't cause her any trouble, you hear me?"
Baekhyun's dazed eyes widen, "I-"
"If you mess with a single hair on her head," Kyungsoo continues, lifting the butcher knife in his hands. "Say goodbye to your kids."
"I-I won't fucking!" Baekhyun tangles a hand in his messy hair, sucking in a deep breath. "I'm walking home."
"Oh no you aren't," I rebuke, rounding the counter.
He grits his teeth, spinning around on his heel, "I'm-"
"Yah, Baekhyun." Kyungsoo's deep voice cuts through the air.
Baekhyun freezes up, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes. "Y-Yes?-"
"Take this." Kyungsoo starts, slamming a couple bags full of food to his chest. "Shut the fuck up and let Riley take you home."
"I-" Baekhyun shakes his head, "I can still catch the bus. There's no need-" His face drains of color when he meets Kyungsoo's eyes again. If looks could kill, he'd be 6 feet under.
Kyungsoo turns back to me then, "If he gives you a hard time, call me, okay?"
"Yes, Kyungsoo," I immediately agree, fearful of his sour mood as well. Note to self: angry Kyungsoo is scarier than angry Jongin.
"Good," He grumbles but smiles, patting my arm before walking back to the kitchen. "I'll save some of the churros for you."
"Thank you!" I beam at him, waving until he walks into the backroom. My smile doesn't fade, my cheeks starting to hurt until I feel a certain someone's stare on the back of my head. Oh shit.
Slowly turning around, I drag my eyes up to look into the most beautiful puppy eyes in the world, my heart going into overdrive.
"Hey," Baekhyun whispers.
A sad smile quirks on my lips, "Hi." Sighing a little, I take a look around, hanging up my apron and retrieving my hidden purse from the back of a chair at one of the extravagant dining tables. "Let's go."
Baekhyun nods, following me out of the restaurant. I open the door and hold it for him until he reaches the doorstep. We may not be on good terms, but that doesn't mean I'll just let a door slam in his face.
…
I most definitely should have let that door slam in his face.
Shaking off my aggressive thoughts, I take a deep breath and power walk to my car, shivering in the cold wind. It's the middle of July and a tropical storm has blown in, bringing its cold rains and chilling nights with it. Trust Seoul to have these extreme temperature changes, I should have kept my ass back in the South.
Baekhyun doesn't say a word as we make it to my red Porsche. I unlock the car when we are a few feet away, rolling my keys around my fingers. "Hop in, Byun."
He climbs into the passenger seat and by now the silence is killing me, but I shove it down. I'm here to drive him home and that's it. No more, no less.
Sighing inwardly, I settle into the driver's seat. "Buckle up," I mutter, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. "You may be more likely to survive a car crash in your drunken stupor but I sure as hell am not getting a fine for your ass."
I swear I hear him mutter, "of course," under his breath.
"What was that?" I pointedly widen my eyes, looking directly at him.
"Nothing." He grumbles, keeping his eyes facing forward.
"I thought so," Making sure he's strapped securely and checking my rearview mirror, I stick the key into the ignition and pull out of the parking lot.
Driving to Baekhyun's apartment feels so surreal, for many reasons. Never in our relation—our previous relationship have I driven him anywhere. I never dared to get behind the wheel of his Audi, that car is too expensive. If I had wrecked it and looked at the cost to fix or replace it, combined with the look of pure rage that would be on his face from me crashing his baby, I would die. Bad blood or not, I rather not be on Baekhyun's bad side.
My heartbeat picks up the longer the car ride goes on. Fuck, it's getting harder to breathe. I literally have the biggest problem to ever walk into my life right next to me months after I swore to never speak to him again. Why did I agree to this? What was I thinking?
No. No time for that, I'm going to drop him off at his apartment and continue moving on with my life. That's why I left him in the first place.
"...Riley?" He speaks up a few streets away from his house, his voice the softest I've heard in a while.
Nope. Don't engage. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel.
"Can… Can we talk?" He continues, sounding sadder by the minute. "Please?"
"We're ten minutes away, Baekhyun."
"I…" The bags rustle in his lap as he sighs. "I knew this would happen."
"What?" I glance sharply at him at the next red light.
Baekhyun looks down at his hands with the most pitiful expression on his face, tears building in the corners of his eyes under the bright city lights. "I knew you would hate me."
Oh my fucking—My heart squeezes painfully in my chest. I want to roll my eyes and launch myself out of the car window at the same time. "Stop bringing it up, Byun." I mutter, focusing back on the road. "It's a thing of the past. Let it die there."
"Yeah," He laughs, his voice raw with emotion. "Like my heart the night you left me."
I clench my jaw, taking a deep breath, inwardly cursing the hectic late night traffic. Come on, fuckers, I need this man out of my car asap.
"You don't even want to talk to me about it." He continues, growing more frustrated and louder by the minute. "You don't even want to see me-"
"Of course I don't, Baekhyun!" I snap, whipping my head around to face him. "After all the shit you've done I have every right to not speak to your smug fucking face again."
"Smug?" He laughs weakly. "You think I enjoyed what happened to us?"
"Yep," I chirp, gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn pale. "There's no other explanation for why you are in my car right now."
"You insisted for me to be here." He fires right back. "You break up with me, hang out with all my friends, then act like a cold hearted bitch every time you see me."
"It takes one to know one, Baekhyun." I jab right back, curling my upper lip in a cruel smile.
"Yeah," He scoffs, crossing his arms and facing the window. "I'm sure you know that very well."
"If you're going to be a whiny little bitch," I start, smiling widely at him, "I will put you out on your ass, Baekhyun."
"Wouldn't you love that," He laughs, anger coming off of him in waves. "You were always obsessed with my ass."
That's it.
Baekhyun yelps when I slam on the breaks, bracing his hands on the dashboard. "Riley, what the hell?!"
"You wanted to talk?" I make sure the curb of the street I pulled onto is clear before facing him with a grin. "Huh? You want to talk now?" Baekhyun shrinks further into the passenger seat when I lean over him. "Fucking say it to my face then, you bastard." I snarl. "Go on. Give your little practiced speech."
Baekhyun parts his lips a few times, making my rage raise even more—"I miss you." He mumbles sadly.
I blink, staring at him. "...What?" I chuckle, growing wary as he keeps giving me those kicked puppy dog eyes. "What the fuck are you on about, Baekhyun-"
"I miss you." He repeats. "I miss your voice, I miss your eyes, I miss waking up to your sleeping face next to mine." He takes a shaky breath, tears filling his eyes. "I miss your strawberry scent on our pillows. I miss your loving words. I miss you complaining about my random ramblings and shutting me up with a kiss… I miss everything about you." He drags his eyes back up to mine then. "I miss you so much I wake up every day and fall apart when I remember that you aren't there."
Sucking in a breath, I look away from him, my anger long forgotten. I… I don't know what to say. "You…" A lump forms in my throat. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to restrain my wobbling chin.
Baekhyun keeps his eyes on me, pleading with me with their sad, brown depths. He doesn't expect the slap I land on his pretty face.
"You fucking bastard," I mutter lowly, shaking in anger, the last of my sanity flying out of the window. "You don't get to come in here and say all this fucking bullshit when you couldn't even tell your fucking mother that you were dating me!" I scream, my vocal chords pulling harder than my heart strings. "You were dating me, living with me, loving me, fucking me-" I laugh, throwing my hand out to show off the car. "For a whole year. Then you come here with your pretty, pitiful little empty words and expect me to forgive you? Really? You really think so little of me?"
"Ri-"
"Did you not get it the first time?" I ask in the sweetest of tones, my Southern accent out on full display. "Huh? You told your dear mother about us then suddenly come running back after me? Did having her approval feel that good little puppy?"
Baekhyun's face burns a dozen different shades of red, but I'm not fucking done yet.
"Here comes the man who was so overcome with jealousy over my best friend that he pretended to fuck another whore at his party," I list off on my fingers, my voice growing louder with every word I fire at him."Here goes the man who accused me of fucking Jongin because I wanted to be left alone at a mother fucking party. Here sits the man—who had the audacity to cheat on me not once, but twice!" My lips curl up into the ugliest sneer, glaring at Baekhyun hard enough to kill. "And here lies the cowardly man who will lie like a pig in mud for the rest of eternity as far as I am concerned."
I'm huffing and puffing by the time I'm done, not even waiting for him to say anything before starting back up again. "You know I never and would never have cheated on you, right?" I ask, lowering the volume of my voice. "If I didn't want to be faithful to you, Baekhyun, I would have been with someone else. I don't pull stunts to be petty and shit. If you didn't know that about me now, you're a fucking idiot, and if you don't believe me, then I don't know what to tell you." I shrug, leaning back tiredly into my seat and keeping my eyes forward on the empty road ahead.
"I get that," He says quietly.
A chuckle bubbles in my aching chest. "Do you?" I raise a brow, trying to calm down. "Do you understand how stupid it is to cheat on someone just because you're feeling petty or uncomfortable in a situation-"
"I never cheated on you."
"Ha!" I bark out a laugh. "And I don't have 4C hair." Rolling my eyes, I throw my hands up. "What? So that model at the photoshoot and the lipstick stain on the collar of your shirt wasn't you cheating? Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Really? You really are going to deny-"
"Melody tripped over a sewage drain and that model forced herself onto me." He states firmly. "Neither was consensual or intentional."
Both my brows raise. "Huh. You know, it's real funny how you have an explanation for that now." I roll down my window to cool off, leaning my elbow onto the window seal and my chin in my palm before turning to him again. "Where was this energy months ago?"
Baekhyun nods. "You're right. I am a coward," He admits, stopping me dead in my tracks. "Dumb enough to not say anything and dumb enough to think that you'd figure it out because I…" He trails off, biting his lips before those teary brown eyes lock onto mine again. Taking my breath away with the endless storm of emotions swirling within them. "With you, I'm like an open book. You always saw right through me, so I thought… I thought I didn't have to say anything," His head drops, looking down at the neat bags sitting at his feet. "And when I did, it was too late."
My eyes narrow. "How do I know you aren't bullshtting me?"
"I have nothing left to lose," He shrugs, smiling sadly.
Anger flares up in me again. "What is that supposed to mean-"
"I already lost you."
My mouth snaps shut, a feeling I haven't felt in months squeezing my heart in earnest.
"Everything you said was true," He mumbles. "All of it. The secrets, the lies-"
"And what makes you say that?"
His ears burn brighter than the red handprint on his cheek. "I'm seeing a therapist."
"Oh—Shit..." A wave of white hot shame falls over me. "Baekhyun, I-I'm sorry-"
"No." He shakes his head before bending down, the paper bags rustling in his grasp. "Don't. You said nothing but the truth."
"That still doesn't make it okay…" I rub the back of my neck, cursing myself inwardly for my anger. I hadn't meant to go off on him, that wasn't my intention—
"It's only fair," He mutters, shrugging weakly. "I've said worse to you."
"I…" I can't help but sigh, at a loss for words. "...I'm proud of you, seeing a therapist takes a lot of courage and self awareness."
"Thank you."
"I'm glad you're doing okay," I mumble.
Baekhyun stiffens up. Suddenly the atmosphere in the car shifts into something more melancholic.
"B-Baek?"
He lifts up his head, revealing his tear-stained face to me. "You think so?"
My heart clenches in anguish. "Baekhyun-"
"After everything you…" His voice breaks. "You think I'm fine? You think I'm okay?" Tears dampen the long strands of silver hair dangling in his eyes. "I haven't slept. I haven't eaten. I haven't breathed—I haven't lived since the day you left." He croaks, sucking in a breath. "So if you think that I am okay, I am not."
I have nothing else to say after that. What can I even say...?
Feeling tears form in my own eyes, I turn the car back on. My mom always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all. And after I slapped him and said all of those things…
I pull off of the curb, hiding my tears away from him. There's nothing I can do but take him home and hope that in the distant future… In a brand new life… He can forgive me for everything I've done to him and move on too.
The rest of the ride is spent in silence. No radio. No cars zooming past. The only thing I hear is his quiet sniffles and the cry of my wheezing heart.
"Thanks for taking me home," He mumbles in the softest of tones, mumbling more to his scuffed up sneakers than to me.
"No problem," I say softly, reaching out to place my hand on his shoulder only to pause, gripping the steering wheel again. "Make sure to take some Advil from the third cabinet on the right, okay?"
Baekhyun nods, hiding under the strands of his messy hair. He scares the hell out of me when his head suddenly shoots up again.
"Baek…?" I whisper, not sure what to do as he starts leaning in. He reveals his face to me up close for the first time in months. Heart-wrenching features that I know so well. The droopy shape of his brown eyes, the soft slope of his button nose, the cute little mole on top of his soft pink, thin lips that are pursed in concentration. For what? I have no idea. "Baekhyun-"
He slams his hand down on the dashboard, making me flinch. "Spider," He mutters, opening his hand to reveal its creepy squished body. I shiver at the sight. "I don't want you getting into a wreck. I know how you hate-" He sighs loudly, shaking his head. "Never mind…"
Yeah… I gulp, forcing a smile. Never mind.
"Travel safely, okay?" He takes his bags of food and steps out of the car, moving to close the door only to pause, meeting my eyes from under the bright city lights. "Goodnight, Riley."
It takes everything in me not to break down right there and then. "Good-" My lips wobble. I clear my throat, brushing my hair back before daring to look into his dull brown eyes again. "Goodnight, Baekhyun."
He smiles so small and sadly, making my heart weep when he closes the door and walks off to enter his apartment building.
I sit there for a few moments, staring out at the busy street ahead. It's so funny… This empty feeling in my chest. It's… It's like I never left…
•••
It's unfair… how much your heart hurts when you're stuck on someone. Realizing that no matter how many times they've hurt you, your broken heart still beats for them… and only them.
No matter how hard I try to deny it, the heart doesn't lie…
Baekhyun… is still a part of me. His scent may have faded, his t-shirts and hoodies are cleared out from my room… but the memory of him lives on in my heart. And I can't get rid of him without breaking myself completely and reforming a "perfect mold" to fit myself in.
Ha… funny how that works. 7 months of moving on has led up to this. Nothing. 7 months, 12 months, or 30 years, Baekhyun's scent can wash off of my skin, but the rest of the world won't let me break the two of us apart. If I am my brain, he is my heart. And you can't live without that muscle pumping steadily in your aching chest.
It's so unfair… because I'm trying my hardest to move on with someone else.
It takes me forever to get ready for my date tonight, and when I do… Something tells me to cancel it. But I can't. Jackson will be busy for the next month and a half. This is the only time in his schedule where he can take me out on the "proper date" as he likes to call it. Which he doesn't have to, I'm not that hard to please. I mean for fuck sake, I haven't had an official date until I was 20.
I'm not picky about these things, but I ended up agreeing in the end anyway. The sad puppy look on Jackson's face when I tried to decline going to a restaurant to just stay in and watch movies instead still haunts me. Those almond shaped, dark brown puppy eyes… Damn him.
Sighing softly, I carefully apply my eyeliner in my vanity mirror, checking over my appearance one last time and smiling at the result. My lips are the richest shade of red, dark brown, waist-length hair curled to perfection, and the crystal earrings I haven't worn in ages sparkle every time they catch the light. Perfect for my chosen dress for the night.
It's a little something that I've bought recently. A spaghetti strapped, black velvet piece with a cowl shaped neck that shows off a bit of my cleavage, form-fitting all the way down to the V shaped end of the dress. It ends high on my thigh, but I have no plans to go dancing tonight, (for Jackson's sake). It's just enough to make him a little hot under his expensive collar. Especially with the lace strings crisscrossed in the back that are the only thing holding the dress up.
A low buzz makes me jump, startling me out of my thoughts. I fish for my phone in the vibrating purse in my lap. I haven't taken it out since last night… The weight of Baekhyun's unblocked number in my phone is a heavy load... and I only have myself to blame.
My eyes widen at the caller ID on the screen: Him. And I know exactly who he is.
Biting my nails, I weigh my options: answer now and end up canceling my plans or call him back tomorrow...
…
Would it really be that bad to cancel? No—I can't. Jackson thinks I'm a punctual woman and…
"Always so sweet for me," He murmurs lowly, painting my skin with the shape of his lips.
My breath hitches, mouth going dry as more memories dance in my mind. Skin on skin, hushed whispers, champagne painted breaths...
"Mmm you're so wet," He groans, grazing my clit with his teeth. "Making a mess all over me."
A knock on my door makes me pause, staring down at the buzzing phone in my hand.
7 months without Baekhyun… and it has resorted to this.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—Fuck!
I power down the phone, toss it back into my bag, pull it onto my shoulder and launch myself out of my chair to open the door before I lose my nerve. The sight that greets me on the other side of the door makes my heart flutter, but…
"Hey," Jackson smiles softly, his dark brown eyes sparkling under the bright lights.
It doesn't take my breath away.
"Hi," I manage a smile, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"You look beautiful," He compliments, his eyes sparkling even more as he looks over my dress before meeting my eyes again.
My smile grows, warmth spreading over my cheeks. "Thank you," I mutter softly, laughing a little. "You're not too bad yourself."
He smiles again, gesturing to me, the shine of his thin gold bracelet reflecting the hallway lights. "May I?"
"Hmm?—Oh!" I gasp, noticing the red and black corsage in his hands. "Y-Yes," I smile shyly, my heart pounding when he holds out his hand to me.
Jackson gently takes my hand, carefully slipping the corsage around my wrist. The caress of his rough fingertips makes a shiver go down my spine, goosebumps left on my skin when he pulls away.
His outfit catches my attention. Normally I'd feel a little shameless for looking at him from head to toe, but after what happened earlier… I can use a distraction.
He's wearing a black blazer with a matching lace turtleneck shirt underneath that gives me a glimpse of his toned skin, making my breath hitch. A golden necklace with a pendant rests in the middle of his chest, making him look so attractive when it twinkles under the lights. And with the way his shirt is tucked into his stylish black jeans… Fuck me ten times over.
My eyes trail further down his body. He has on that expensive gold watch I saw the first time we met and elegant rings on his veiny hands. I forget to breathe remembering how it felt to be held in his strong arms...
Snapping out of my daze, my wide eyes dart back up to his, finding the sweetest of shy smiles on his lips and a pink hue to his cheeks. He just caught me checking him out and he's blushing. Adorable. Clearing my throat, I smile, feeling my own face heat up under his admiring gaze. "Not bad at all."
His soft chuckle makes me feel less embarrassed. Maybe he can tell that I'm nervous… but not what has me so nervous.
Baekhyun's tear-stained face has been haunting me all day and I barely managed to get any sleep last night. His small voice replays in my head and soft spoken words cover my skin. My face heats up and pales at the same time at the reminder of what I was thinking about not even 10 minutes ago. I had a memory of him going down on me for Christ sake! Looking up at Jackson's handsome face, I feel another wave of hot shame. Can the ground please open up and swallow me whole?
"Shall we?" Jackson asks, bring my attention back to him. He offers his elbow to me, waiting for me to lock my arm with his. Another smile forms on my face; I have to suppress a giggle bubbling in my chest. He's so sweet and gentle compared to all the other men in my life. Ugh, my poor heart is racing like crazy.
I lock the door behind me and wrap my arm around his, appreciating the firmness of his bicep as he leads us down the hallway. The taps of our respective shoes echo around the quiet hall while we wait a few minutes for the elevator to arrive. "I'm not taking too much of your time, am I?" I mumble, watching the floor numbers rise to avoid his gaze.
"Hmm?" Jackson hums, his alluring cologne hitting me when he turns his head to look at me.
"Your schedule," I elaborate, glancing at him from under my eyelashes. "I'm not infringing on your work time, am I?"
"No," He shakes his head, holding the metal doors open for me while I walk into the elevator.
"But you said you are in the middle of the most important part of filming and-" I stop, my eyes widening at the warmth on my cheeks.
"Riley." Jackson looks right into my eyes, his rough palms cradling my face. "You are not 'taking too much' of my time, alright?" He mumbles, brown eyes drifting over my features while his thumb swipes over the top of my cheek, leaving a blaze of gentle heat in its wake. "This night is for us."
My heart practically leaps out of my chest the longer I stare into his warm eyes. I break eye contact. "O-Okay," I whisper, smiling shyly.
Jackson smiles, taking my hand when the elevator doors open onto the ground floor. As we walk past the security guard in the lobby, I wonder how I look next to him… He's the same height as Baekhyun, more toned where the latter has softer edges. They both have sharp jawlines, but Jackson's cheeks are more chiseled than squishy like Baekhyun's sweet face—
"Ladies first," His low voice muses.
Lifting my head from my white high heels, I look into Jackson's eyes, realizing that his dark brown eyes don't hold the same tension Baekhyun's does when I am taller than him like this. My shyness aside, with my almost average height and tall heels, I'm a few centimeters taller than Jackson. But instead of finding that spark of insecurity I'm used to seeing in Baekhyun's eyes, Jackson looks at me as if I am the goddess who put the moon in the sky.
Stepping out into the quiet night, I look up at the stars, having to blink a few times when I see a pair of droopy brown eyes staring down at me. No. I shake my head, sighing in frustration. God, why do I see him everywhere I go?
We make our way to the parking lot on the side of the apartment complex. The silence between us isn't striffling like the one I've come to grow wary of over the past year. That piercing void full of held back frustration and heated glares...
A car unlocks in the distance, drawing my attention to a sleek black vehicle when it lights up. A Jaguar, stunning with it's cat-eye headlights and the way the engine purrs to life. The car is honestly mesmerizing, and it suits Jackson well, but my heart tugs painfully in my chest when he opens the passenger door for me and I don't see any red accessory detailing on the inside...
"You look stunning in that dress." He says when he climbs into the driver's seat, his low voice making me feel something deep in my stomach.
"T-Thank you," I blush scarlet, shifting towards the passenger window to hide my red face. It's been a long time since someone has complimented me so genuinely. I haven't felt like this since—
"Are you really that insecure?"
The memory hits me like a punch to the gut.
"You okay?" Jackson asks, his eyes shining with concern.
"Y-Yeah," I whisper, clutching onto my purse. My face hasn't cooled down since I left my apartment and I doubt it will at this rate. Between Jackson's sweet eyes and Baekhyun's teary ones that haven't left my mind, I'm royally screwed. "How's work?"
Jackson hums. "It's good." He keeps his eyes on the road, pulling out of the parking lot. "The movie is coming along nicely."
Taking a few discrete and deep breaths, I rest my head on my arm, focusing on the low timbre of his raspy voice. "Did the tech team find any more of those files?"
"No." He shakes his head, making a left turn. "Thankfully those were the only ones," He smiles, glancing over at me; the twinkles of excitement and affection in his eyes is hard to ignore. "Now the editing team can take over."
I fight the urge to rest a hand over my heart. "The movie won't be delayed?"
"The movie won't be delayed," He confirms warmly, focusing fully on me at the next red light. His brown hair falls attractively over his forehead, casting a shadow over his dark and expressive eyes. "We'll be ahead of schedule. Everyone worked in advance while waiting for the tech team to sort through the files."
"That's good," I smile, turning my attention to our surroundings streaming past the window.
Jackson navigates us down the long Seoul streets, the city lights reflecting in his dark eyes while he steers the wheel with both hands. He looks handsome under the favor of the moonlight, the headlights of passing cars sparkling across his thin necklace. For a moment I imagine a future—an us. How it would feel to hold his calloused hands and gaze into his adoring eyes. What it would be like to wake up to his face in the mornings. That deep, raspy voice… I shiver at the thought, praying the traffic lights don't show the red hue I feel on my cheeks.
Soft and slow R&B floats from the quiet car radio, caressing my ears with its gentle melodies while Jackson turns his blinkers on. I hum, tapping along to the beat, a smile curling at my lips. It's a perfect song for a summer night like this, adding a calming atmosphere to the intimate space of Jackson's car—
"I love this song."
Baekhyun raises a brow, his eyes focused on the road as he turns up the radio with a smile. "Really?"
"Yeah." He has such a stunning side profile, I could gaze at him for hours. "I listened to a lot of their songs growing up."
"Your parents have great taste."
"Mm." The sunlight reflecting in his brown eyes has nothing on the sparkles of happiness in his shining orbs. "I guess you do too."
I sigh through my nose, shoving down the emotions budding in my chest. No matter how hard I try, memories of him continue to play in my mind. All our romantic mid-day drives and late night talks of a future we thought we had in store… Our shared hopes and dreams that went up in flames before our very eyes.
Next thing I know, Jackson is putting the car into park, the purr of the engine cutting off in exchange for the summer heat seeping in through the pause of the air conditioner.
"You ready?" He looks over at me, the urge to brush his hair out of his eyes hitting me full force.
"Yeah," I smile, curling my hand around the strap of my purse. The giddy smile he gives me in return is so damn sweet I want to cry.
Jackson steps out of the Jaguar and it doesn't take him long to round the car. He opens the passenger door for me before I realize that we've reached the restaurant.
"Thank you," I giggle in embarrassment, placing my hand in the one he offers me with another one of those adorable smiles of his. My heart skips a beat when he presses a kiss to the back of my hand while I step out onto the asphalt. If he keeps this up I'm going to have a heart attack over this softness. What the hell, why aren't there more guys like Jackson in the world? And how the hell has he been single this whole time with him out here sweeping me off my feet like this?
His widened smile and the way his eyes drift over my features has a comforting warmth settling over my beating heart. He leads the way to the restaurant, opening the door for me like the heart-fluttering gentleman he is. He's going all out on winning me over tonight and I'm loving every minute of it.
The smell of freshly baked lasagna and garlic bread has my mouth watering as we make our way up to the counter. I catch a peek at the beautifully arranged, round wooden tables under a romantic lighting in the next room.
"Reservations for Wang." Jackson's voice sounds more firm when he addresses the lady at the counter, a flicker of his director persona flashing across his face. If nothing else, one look at him and you can tell that he's about business—even for a little date like this. A first date too. It's hard fighting my adoring smile.
The receptionist checks on the computer in front of her and looks down at her clipboard, nodding with a polite smile. "Right this way," She gestures to the next room. Her black suit, matching bow tie, and crisp clean, white dress shirt add onto the expensive air of the restaurant. The food is fresh, the atmosphere is dreamy, and every surface shines brightly under the dim candle-lit lights.
The further we walk into the restaurant, the more I have to be sure not to let my jaw drop in awe. Everything about this place is magical, from the happily conversing customers to the beautiful chandeliers in the hallway. The receptionist leads us to a table in a more secluded area, the muffled chatter of the rest of the patrons coming through the velvet walls. "Your water will be out shortly," She sets the menus on the table before taking her leave with a bow.
"Allow me," Jackson murmurs, his words caressing my ear. His cologne washes over me when he walks over to the table, pulling out a chair and waiting for me with the most charming smile on his face. I can't hold my own back even if I tried.
"Thank you," I say warmly, humored and flattered beyond belief. The proximity of his hand to my bare shoulders has a pleasant shiver going down my spine. A flush forms on my face. The man has done nothing but be a gentleman and I'm over here yearning for his touch like a giddy teenager.
Jackson's scent hits me once again when he moves to take his seat. The minty smell of aftershave and a hint of his own unique manly scent has me damn near drooling and we haven't even had appetizers yet. My stomach is building tension and I doubt it has anything to do with the menu.
"How was your day?" He inquires.
I startle out of my horny musings like a cat doused in cold water. Oh shit. "It was alright," I laugh nervously, trying to keep my voice from wavering into that annoying raspy tone it gets when I'm not careful enough. "I turned in my final assignments and am awaiting my test results for the semester."
A waiter comes to take our order, sparing me a few minutes from having to explain myself. I'm struggling to find words here. What am I supposed to say? "Oh yeah, I spent all day daydreaming about my heartbroken ex and the steamy sex we used to have." I'd die of embarrassment so damn fast. I'm appalled at myself.
"What are you studying?" His dark brown eyes are back on me when the waiter walks away. A flutter stutters in my chest under his attentive gaze.
"Business," I resist the urge to rest my chin on my palm, choosing to swirl my fork around my salad instead. "I'm working on my bachelor's degree. I want to improve my performance at work."
His eyes widen, curiosity painting on his handsome features. "What do you do?"
I smile softly. He's adorable. "I'm the Director at Park's Publishing."
"You work in a publishing house?"
"I manage the 5th floor," I share, a smirk quirking at my lips. The last thing I did this morning before going home around lunch was inform everyone about our busy schedule at the end of the month. "I miss my editing days, not gonna lie." I laugh, poking an olive. "Sorry, work kind of stresses me out."
"No," Jackson shakes his head, smiling softly, "I get it. Taking a group of people under your wing is a big responsibility."
"It's sooo difficult." Sighing, I cross my legs, the back of my heel clicking against the leg of my chair. "Since I'm not directly in charge of editing, I have to guide others and keep reminding myself that I can't do the work for them. They have to learn on their own."
"Same," He nods, swallowing a bite of Italian seasoning drenched tomato and lettuce. "I have to fight the urge to take things over that the marketing and editing teams are supposed to handle." A flicker of annoyance crosses his face, making me smile in understanding. "Good thing I'm not Ceo," He jokes.
I laugh, thinking to myself: Yeah, thank fuck you aren't one.
When the waiter brings our food, the reminder that I haven't eaten all day stirs in my hungry stomach. I take a bite of my chicken alfredo before it can growl, closing my eyes to hide how they roll back when the gooey goodness of cheese and perfectly boiled noodle hits my tongue. Holy fuck. This food right here is the shit. If I had a meal like this more often, I'd never complain again in my life.
I find myself observing Jackson while he enjoys his own meal. He chews with his mouth closed, neatly cutting his chicken with a fork and knife. The room is quiet with only the soft music playing overhead and the sound of our silverware clicking against the pristine plates.
"I want to wake up every morning to your sleeping face curled up by my side," Baekhyun murmurs, smiling shyly.The red hue of his cheeks endearing under the dim lights. "Your hair products cluttering our dresser and your toothbrush next to mine."
"You really like cucumbers, huh?" Jackson muses.
I jolt out of my thoughts, realizing to my horror that I've been leaning over the table, picking the cucumbers from his salad. "Oh! Y-Yeah," I chuckle, my face burning scarlet. From humor or embarrassment, I have no idea. Probably both at this rate. "You could say that..."
Originally posted by sefuns
August fades seamlessly into September, urging the leaves on trees to change into red, orange, and pretty yellow hues. Gone are the dog days of summer smitting everyone from above. Now the best season of all is coming out to play, and I am all for it.
Skipping down the street in my newest yellow skater dress and nude sandals, I check the GPS on my phone to search for the street that I'm on. Today I decided that walking around aimlessly for hours was the best course of action to clear my mind, and now I've found myself in a part of Seoul that I've never been to before.
The architecture of the landscape around me is something to behold. The windows are cut out squares that only allow light to be seen from within the rooms as the sun goes down, and the buildings are curved this way and that in the most intricate of ways. It surely is a view I wouldn't mind venutring over here to see again sometime. The lively chatter of pedestrians on the sidewalk is refreshing too.
Smiling to myself, my eyes catch sight of a particular building in the distance. I quickly cross the street for a closer look. It's a giant library that looks to be 4 stories tall, showcasing a huge bookshelf on the back wall from the view of the front windows. Highly intrigued, and lowkey smitten, I step inside for a closer look.
The smell of books hits me in an instant, the young and old novels arranged neatly in little bookshelves compared to that mountain of literature on the farthest wall. There's a small cafe serving up delicious muffins to my right and a huge sitting area full of the perfect lounge chairs on my left. Crowds of people make their way to and fro between the aisles without hiccup. There's so much to do that I don't even know where to start.
Walking over to the Romance section, I skim my fingertips along the book covers, aimlessly striding down the aisle until a thin, blue book catches my eye. Curious, I move to pull it out only for another hand to beat me to it. A familiar, slender hand.
I yank my hand back at once. "Dude!" Lowering my voice, I glare at the man in front of me. "Why the hell are you always everywhere? Are you following me around or what?"
"W-What?" Baekhyun's wide brown eyes stare back at me.
"I never thought you'd resort to stalking, Baekhyun." I shake my head, brushing past him, the silver buttons of his waist-length jacket cold against my sun-kissed skin.
"I'm not fucking!" He slaps a hand over his face, exhaling deeply. "I'm not following you around."
"Then why are you here, huh?" I keep my eyes forward, marching into the next aisle.
"Because—will you stop walking away from me?!?!?!"
I freeze, the sheer desperation in his voice roots my feet to the floor. "Why are you here, Baekhyun?" I cross my arms, shivering under the air conditioner overhead.
"Hannam-dong library extraordinaire," He utters, his shadow moving closer as I tense up. "You put it on the bucket list. The one we made together." Hope pours out from his every word, his painfully slow footsteps seeming to stem from the faint memories crowding his mind. "You listed every place you wanted to go and w-we, we never…" He stops when his voice cracks, clearing his throat. "You made a copy by hand so we'd always have it," He mumbles sadly. "I guess it's meaningless now."
Emotions grip at my throat and tears threaten to fill my eyes. I slowly turn around, snatching the book out of his hands. "Give me that." Flickering my eyes up to his hurt-filled eyes, I gesture to the sitting area with my chin. "Follow me."
Baekhyun follows behind me without a word, shuffling his boots noisily on the carpeted floor. I have half the mind to tell him about it until I remember where we are—in a library and in life. Biting my tongue, I plop down into the longest couch available, staring at his nervous figure when he doesn't join me. "Come on!" I snap, throwing a pillow at him that he's quick to catch. "Sit your ass down, I don't got all day." I grumble, opening the blue book. "I came here to read and I plan to do so."
A few moments go by, nothing but the quiet chatter of visitors and the coffee pot whistling on the other side of the room fills the air. Just when my heart drops at the thought of him being gone, a weight sinks down into the couch next to me. I look to see Baekhyun in a grey sweater, his jacket left on the back of the chair. His eyes are closed and neck is bare while resting his head on the back of the couch. Silver locks of hair messily dangle on his forehead, long eyelashes caressing the tops of his cheeks. I frown at the lack of fluff I find there, his mother's words a distant whisper in my ear.
Baekhyun makes me jump when he peeks an eye open, opening the other before blinking slowly at me. "I'm listening," He murmurs softly, keeping those expressive brown eyes on me.
My heart skips a beat. Smiling to myself, I focus back on the book in my hands, flipping to the first page and beginning to read aloud.
•••
Weeks fly by once mid September hits, endless clusters of colored leaves blowing away in its wind. The sun rises later in the day and sets at a different angle at night, casting warm shadows over my bedroom window that never fail to bring a smile to my face. Everything about this time of year puts me in high spirits. The weather is perfect for my velvety outfits and the annoying ass bugs are finally starting to go away. It's a calm, homey fairytale land full of sweet breezes and mid autumn adventures.
I lean over my vanity while painstakingly applying my red lipstick in the mirror, smoothing it out with care. My makeup for tonight goes well with my newest party dress, a burgundy velvet, off the shoulder piece with a deep v neck. It has long puffed sleeves with fitted cuffs that wrap comfortably around my wrists and a matching belt to emphasize the hourglass shape of my waist. The thick material is perfect for early October, the nights beginning to get just the littlest bit colder.
Humming to myself, I carefully put on my gold dangling earrings, smiling at the reflection of my wavy hair. Just letting it air dry with curling irons in it for a few minutes ended up with the subtle result. I'm attending one of Jackson's infamous parties tonight as his date, not his seducer. Although, I don't need to get all dolled up to impress him anyway. Batting my eyelashes and looking intensely into his deep, dark brown eyes is enough.
This time around, I'm prepared for the knock on my door. Two months of various dates has sunk a certain time into my core. 10pm on the dot. Punctual as always. My red painted lips quirk up at the thought. With one last glance into my vanity mirror, I spin around on my one-inch, open-toed black heels, strutting over to open the door and whistling at the sight.
Jackson smiles, looking hot as hell in his black blazer and thin gold chain with no shirt underneath. His muscular thighs look amazing in his tight jeans, and with his brown hair brushed back with a few strands of hair attractively left on his forehead…
"You look gorgeous," He murmurs, planting a kiss on my forehead while I'm distracted by his two sets of gold earrings.
I smile coyly, tucking my finger in his necklace and tugging on it lightly. "You're not so bad yourself."
Conversations between us flow more easily over the past few months. I show him my sass and he throws it right back, making me laugh every time. His attractive mind comes up with the most astounding ideas and points of view. There are many different sides to him as well. His confident, professional way of handling business to how he likes to roll over on my couch to rest his head in my lap and look up at me with those dark brown puppy eyes.
Things are easy—that's just how it is with Jackson. It's a nice change from the complicated men in my life. He's adorable and sexy all in one.
The clicks of my heels echo across the sidewalk as we walk up to the frat house, my hand wrapped around his bicep. The party is just starting to pick up it seems; a fair amount of party goers are streaming in the front double doors.
"I want to introduce you to someone," Jackson perks up the moment we reach the entrance.
"Really?" I bat my eyes at him, stepping closer when someone brushes past us in a hurry. "Well, I'm down for that."
He smiles, holding the door open for me. I softly squeeze his bicep before letting him go, walking into his alumni house for the first time in almost a year. Last December I was crossing this same threshold with Jenny by my side, can you believe that? A lot can happen in 10 months, and I can't wait for what's in store for me.
"Jackson!" A deep voice reaches us over the loud music and growing crowd. I can barely make out a figure under all the neon lights, beckoning us over. Jackson's cologne washes over me before I feel his arm brush against my back.
"Let's go," He takes my hand in his, a smile audible in his raspy voice. I follow his lead, swiveling my head around to take in the view of the house. Just as I thought, everything is impeccably arranged. From the mini bar in the back corner to the DJ booth, it screams Jackson. Charming. Intelligent. And expensive. Even with the clumsy party attendees stumbling around.
He turns the corner on the right side of the hallway, following the medium-build figure walking down to a slightly ajar door at the end of the hall. The chatter from within the small room comes to a halt when the stranger pushes open the door.
"Took you long enough, Tuan!" A high-pitched, bubbly voice laughs, their plump lips smiling in amusement.
The man we've been following turns around, smiling while 5 other pairs of eyes land on us. "Hey, man."
"Mark," Jackson steps forward for a bro hug, clapping a hand over the raven's back. He goes around to do the same and fist bumps the other men in the room before standing next to me again. "There's someone I'd like you to meet."
All of them smile, curiosity and friendliness coming off of them in waves—except for one.
Yugyeom sits with his legs crossed in the far corner of the room, smirking while leaning his head in his hand. I make a point to ignore him, shaking everyone's hand with my most polite smile. Their compliments of my dress has me blushing all the way up to my ears. Thankfully the dim lights hide it from view.
Jackson and I take a spot on the only available couch in the cozy room, sitting between Mark and another man with sharp cat-like eyes and a barbell piercing.
"Is this your first party?" The latter asks, swirling the brown alcohol in his glass.
"No," I smile, way too aware of Yugyeom's stare burning into the side of my head. I carefully open a can of beer that Jackson hands to me, taking a long sip.
"Huh," He takes a swing of his drink while I lean my head onto Jackson's shoulder. "Why haven't I seen you around before?"
"I have," Yugyeom joins in, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows at me from over the rim of his glass. My eye twitches. Yeah, I see why this little shit and Jenny broke up.
I quietly observe everyone while the night carries on, the faint bass from the music down the hallway vibrating through the floor. Jackson catches up with his "brothers," in the meantime, updating them on the progress of his film. My eyes lazily sweep over the well-furnished room, the edges of my vision turning blurry. I make sure that the next two cans of beer that I drink aren't open when they are handed to me.
Sometime around midnight, I loosen up, the buzz of alcohol rushing through my veins prompting me to lose my filter. Between BamBam with the plush lips playful banter and the juicy tales of Jaebum's romantic conquests, I'm positively beaming, chatting without a care with my legs draped over Jackson's lap.
Mark cracks a joke that sends me reeling, nearly falling off of the couch if it wasn't for the man next to me, wrapping a strong arm around my waist. I hide my face in the crook of his neck, taking in his vanilla scent. The hint of citrus on his honey-toned skin has warmth spreading over my chest, the image of his sweet, brown puppy eyes printed behind my eyelids.
I laugh until I realize how dead silent the room has gotten. Lifting my head, I look around before tugging lightly on Jackson's sleeve. "Hey..." I murmur with difficulty, growing unnerved under their piercing stares. "What's-"
"Let's call it a night," He mutters, not meeting my eye.
Snapping my mouth shut, I nod, wondering what I did wrong while he bids everyone goodnight. I stand up with the help of his hand on my arm, guiding me over to the doorway that seems to be tilting to the side.
"Hey…" I try again, focusing hard on putting one foot in front of the other. What happened…? Did I laugh too hard? React too dramatically? Is there a piece of fruit stuck between my teeth? I knew I shouldn't have had that parfait before—
Jackson pulls aside me to an empty corner shielded by large plants in the hallway. His lips part a few times before he presses them into a thin line. "You just called me Baekhyun," He mutters, clenching his jaw.
Oh. I sober up in a heartbeat. "S-Shit, I-" The color drains from my face the longer I gaze into his disappointed dark brown eyes. I can feel tears filling my own. "I'm so sorry-"
"It's fine." His stiff posture says otherwise and I've never seen such a hard expression on his features before. "I'll drive you home."
"Wait…" Resting my hand on his arm, I brace myself with a racing heart for the backlash I'll get for what I'm about to ask. "C-Can you drop me off somewhere instead?"
•••
The car ride into the heart of Seoul is stifling. I can't recall us ever being like this… let alone having Jackson angry with me. His grip on the steering wheel has his knuckles turning white, the clench of his jaw concerning me as well. I can only blame myself, swearing inwardly for coming out tonight.
This wasn't supposed to happen… None of this was. The Baekhyun; the shy smiles; the longing. The Yugyeom; the drinking; the nerves... If I could go back in time, I never would have gone to that frat party last year. I would have stayed at Jenny's apartment, bonding over skincare routines and shitty tv shows. But no... I had to go out that December night, and now I am facing the consequences.
It's taking everything in me just to hold back my tears.
"We're here." Jackson speaks up after an hour of silence, nothing but the zooming cars and lively nightlife filling up the empty space from beyond the tinted windows. It does little to ease the tension in the car—it only seems to build when he pulls up to the curb, leaving the engine running.
A lump forms in my throat, making it hard to breathe. I can't even face him right now. By the cold look in his eyes, I know there is no use trying to talk to him. I can't even defend myself. There's only one explanation for what happened earlier, and it's the most shitty one of all...
Baekhyun.
On my mind; in my thoughts; in my heart. The way his long eyelashes brush the top of his glowy cheeks and the world swirling in his sparkly brown eyes when he looks at me. Everywhere I go, I see him, feel him, and wish he was there… From the darkest crevices of my anxious mind to the deepest depths of my beating heart.
No matter where I turn. No matter how much I try. There is only one man in the world for me in this lifetime. There is only one name my soul cries out for… and it isn't the one next to me.
I swallow hard, my heart aching for Jackson. The telling shine of tears reflected in his brown eyes can't be hidden when a truck drives past, revealing the vulnerability in his dark eyes. I hate that things are ending this way. The pounding of my head and sour taste on the back of my tongue are only reminders of how much I've messed up tonight.
Working up my nerve, I step out of his Jaguar, ducking my head back inside with a tight grip on the door.
"Thank you," I whisper over the loud crickets and crying tree frogs, "For everything." Sighing shakily, I crack one last smile as a tear rolls down my cheek. "Thank you for showing me how wonderful life can be."
Jackson turns his head, regarding me with teary, fire-filled eyes. His throat bobs and he manages a small smile in return, nodding slowly. "The pleasure is all mine, Riley."
With a pounding heart, I close the car door with care, walking onto the curb. I look back over my shoulder one more time when I reach the doors of the apartment complex, watching him drive off with a sad smile. The quiet night wraps around me, bringing me little comfort against the bitter cold that I feel inside of my heart. What if I'm making a mistake? I just walked away from the only man who treated me the way I deserve… A stable, well off man for a broken, world shattering one.
A million thoughts race through my mind while climbing the stairs to his apartment, my hand clutching onto the railing for dear life. What if he's not home? What if I'm too late? What if he's finally moved on and I'm the only one still stuck in the past? Still stuck on us?
Tears spring to my eyes, making it hard to see the wobbly steps with my blurred vision, but I carry on, one step at a time. Something tugs deep in my chest—a gut feeling. One that has me pausing from the sheer force behind it.
Baekhyun is my home, and he is waiting for me.
I break out into a run, nearly slipping on the last step before I reach the landing of the fourth floor, swinging the stairway door open so hard it collides with the wall. My heels pound against the marble floor until I trip over something, slamming my head on his door. The resounding thud echoes across the silent walls and the door is yanked open within seconds.
His wide, shock-filled brown eyes stare at me from the doorway, with his messy silver hair and a white wrinkled t-shirt.
I all but throw myself at him.
Baekhyun gasps, catching me before I fall. "Riley, I-"
"No." I shake my head, hugging him tighter, my voice wavering. "You listen to me." Looking up into his brown eyes, I cup his warm cheeks in my cold hands. "I don't care how long it takes, I don't care how much my heart breaks." My chin wobbles, salty tears streaming like a waterfall down my face, but nothing else matters. Nothing can hurt me when I'm in his comforting embrace.
"If it's not with you, I don't want it," I breathe, staring deep into his glimmering eyes. "Do you hear me? You can break my heart a million times, and I can do the same." Swiping a tear from under his eye, I cradle his face in my palm, painting his vulnerable expression into memory. "As long as we mend it back together, we will be okay." I nod, looking between his wide eyes. "We will get through this." I state firmly, melting against him when he tightens his hold on my waist. "We are in this together. Okay?" His silence is worrying me… "B?"
"Are you…" He slowly reaches up, cupping my cold cheek in his warm hand, his frantic brown eyes searching mine for answers. "Are you really here?" He whispers.
"Yes." I watch the light begin to return to his tired eyes. "I'm here, Baekhyun." I pull him closer, squeezing him in my arms, his racing heart beating in sync with mine. "I'm here." My heart drops when he pulls away.
Baekhyun shakes his head, moving his hand from my cheek to take mine into his. "I'm stubborn, insecure, and possessive." He mutters, gazing right into my eyes, determination written all over his face. "I'm… I'm annoying, overbearing, and a workaholic."
I give him my softest, loving smile. "Well, me too." Slowly reaching for him again, I paint my name on his honey-toned skin with my fingertips. "Let's be fucked up together, hmm?"
"I…" He sighs, resting his forehead on mine, staring lovingly and worriedly into my eyes. "I don't want you to regret this."
"I won't," I murmur, tracing three little words across his collarbones. "If I do, we'll fight and then have makeup sex."
Baekhyun chokes. "You're terrible." He coughs, patting his chest, the red hue on his cheeks more endearing than ever before.
I shrug, smiling at him. "When it comes to you?" Sliding my hand up his chest, I tangle my fingers in his messy hair, hovering my lips over his, "I am many things."
•••
It's funny; how easy it is to fall back into him. His loving arms and secure embrace. Every day spent with him slowly mends the cracks in my fragile heart, filling them with the most everlasting remedy of all. Love.
Time is endless when I am with him. Moments become weeks. Seconds turn into hours. Being with Baekhyun makes any taxing and mundane task into a precious activity that I'd love to do again—just because it's him.
Our dynamic has changed, even the air around us is new. We talk about everything. We face problems head on. A few arguments break out sometimes because we are two stubborn individuals, but those aren't a problem now. No big fights. No tearing into each other. I may call him an asshole and he'll rebuke with that I'm being a bitch, (which I am more often than not,) but at the end of the day. When the tension is gone and our sad eyes lock from across the room. We work things out and fall more in love with each other, no matter the struggle we've been through.
—Like right now.
"Perfect," I laugh bitterly, taking out my earrings while storming into the living room. "Fucking perfect."
"Riley," Baekhyun sighs, closing the door.
"No. Fuck this." I spit heatedly, throwing my hands up. "You always do this bullshit. Every time I go out you have something to say. What is it, huh? Why you always got to be up in my shit-"
Turning to him, I'm met by tired brown eyes, his hands falling limply to his sides. "Can we talk this out?" He asks softly, eyes pleading. "I rather hold you than fight."
Still huffing and puffing, I stare into his puppy eyes and sad pout. Without a word, I march over to him, tucking myself under his chin and wrapping my arms around his waist.
"I get it, okay? I have no problems with you going out with your friends." He mumbles into my hair, kissing my head. "I just want to make sure you are safe. Call me, text me, send me a pic to let me know that you're alright." He pulls back a little to cup my face in his hands, staring deep into my eyes. "You're my baby," He whispers, brushing frustrated tears from my cheeks. "If something ever happened to you I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Please understand where I'm coming from."
"Okay." I mumble against his shoulder, hiding more in his vanilla scent. "...I'm sorry for going off on you."
"Shh," Baekhyun hugs me tighter, surrounding me in his warmth and tangling his fingers in my hair. "I trust you, okay?" He nuzzles in my hair, sighing softly. "It's the rest of the world that I don't."
I love him. I love him with every part of me. If I had the chance to go back in time, I'd choose to meet him every time. Even on days where I have to walk out of his apartment to catch a breather. Those cold nights where I stubbornly shiver on his balcony until he comes out to place his jacket on my shoulders. And the times I ask myself why the hell I'm fighting with him over which color we should switch his window curtains into again. Despite all the good and the bad. The happiness and earth shattering agony. I wouldn't change it for the world.
"Are you cold?" Baekhyun mumbles, bringing the back of my hand to his cheek.
"I'm fine, B," I reassure, ignoring the goosebumps that erupt on my skin. From his loving touch or the cold bite of the November air, I have no idea. Most likely both.
"You're shivering." He points out, already struggling off his jacket before I can respond. "I told you it would be cold today."
"I wanted to take the risk, okay?" I sigh, smiling into the cinnamon scented fabric he places on my shoulders.
"It's the middle of November," He murmurs with a shake of his head, tucking our joined hands into the pocket of his jeans.
"Maybe," I mumble in amusement, beaming at him and batting my eyelashes. "But you love this dress on me. Admit it." Today I'm wearing a royal blue summer dress. The weather may be shifting from windy fall to bitter winter, but that won't stop me from rocking this sleeveless, v neck, shirt dress with a tie around my waist.
Baekhyun's eyes shift away from the red crosswalk light ahead to look me over, taking his time with a little cheeky smile on his face. "Well," He murmurs, mischief shining in his sparkly brown eyes. "I can't deny that."
I giggle, ignoring the warmth on my cheeks when he softly squeezes my hand, leading the way as we cross the street. I've missed this feeling: walking hand and hand—our fingers interwtined and young hearts racing as one. Not even the chilly wind can ruin the mood I'm in—I just tuck myself closer to his side.
Baekhyun hums, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me closer when a group of children come running down the sidewalk. The shrill voice of their scolding mother has us sharing a knowing look, smiling shyly. Yeah, nothing quite gets better than this.
"Riley?"
I stiffen, that low, raspy voice shakes me to my very core.
Baekhyun's brown eyes shoot to mine in an instant. "Baby?" He murmurs, a worried frown on his face as he leans to my ear. "Do you know him?"
"Um-" I avoid his eyes, holding onto the hem of his shirt for dear life. "I- Uh-"
A shadow falls over us before a figure walks around to face us, and those dark brown puppy eyes have never looked so solemn. Fuck.
"Jackson Wang?" Baekhyun blinks, sending me into an internal panic. "Hey, man," He smiles, going in for a handshake. "Long time no see. How's the movie?"
Jackson's brown eyes stare into mine before he looks down at Baekhyun's hand. "Good."
Baekhyun frowns, retracting his hand, confusion written all over his face.
"Hey, fancy seeing you here," I manage a small, polite smile, my heart racing nervously when Jackson pulls the towel from around his neck, his dark brown eyes landing back on me. "What you up to?" I tilt my head, resting a hand on Baekhyun's back.
"Out for a jog," Jackson shrugs, the fabric of his black t-shirt sticking to his damp skin. His eyes track how Baekhyun reaches back to take my hand into his. "I was supposed to play basketball with the guys," He continues sourly, "But they blew me off."
"Ah…" I purse my lips, straining another smile. "I hope you all can meet up soon."
He nods, the clench of his jaw and unreadable look in his eyes telling me all that I need to know.
"Well!" Resting my hand on Baekhyun's bicep, I risk a glance at him, unnerved at the equally hard to read expression on his features. "Baekhyun and I will be heading out now. We have reservations to make."
Jackson merely nods, his eyes burning into the back of my head as I lead Baekhyun around him. "See you around, Riley."
Cursing under my breath, I shoot him one last smile over my shoulder, urging Baekyun to walk faster. I hold my breath until we turn the corner onto the next street. "Geez what a mess," I mutter, loosening my death grip on his hand.
Baekhyun continues to securely hold onto my hand and his calm, quiet reaction has me more anxious than all the fights we've had combined. "B-Baekhyun?" I ask tentatively, trying to read his side profile. "Are you okay?" The way his silence stretches out is killing me. "B?"
"Well," He mumbles, nudging a stray rock on the ground. "Jackson is nice. He seems cool."
Uh oh. "Baekhyun-"
"No no, it's fine." He shakes his head. "I see the appeal, you know?" He looks over at me, smiling sadly. "Sharp jawline, muscular, more manly than I'll ever-"
I pull him into the nearest alleyway for privacy before facing him head on, resting my hands on his chest. "You know I only want you, right B?"
"I-I do, I just-" If the kicked puppy expression on his face was for anything else, I'd find it endearing. "He's so well put together and-"
I promptly press my lips to his, pulling back after a few moments with a raised brow. "Better?"
Baekhyun's lips part a few times, the open expression on his face cute as hell. He makes a small noise and hugs me close, sealing my lips in another kiss.
After that day, the ice has broken between us—the last wall I had built up came crumbling down. Hiding from Baekhyun isn't needed anymore. The reassurance that we can actually talk about things instead of letting tension build is all I could ask for, alongside his love and time of course. If only I could be with him tonight.
Mrs. Park wanted me to attend a press conference or whatever with her out of the blue, saying something about it being "a big deal" and "very important" that I be there. So here I am, accessing my options for the night.
Three different outfits cover the entirety of my bed, each bringing forth a slightly different mood from the last. The first one is my trusty go-to, below the knee length dress. A simple black piece of material that's flattering for my figure without exposing my wild side. The second outfit is a basic black blazer, white dress shirt, and black dress pants—the bore of all boring clothing. Nothing wrong with it, but I'm not feeling really "plain and dull" tonight.
Now, the third option is one to behold.
A dress that is a combination between the two: a long sleeved, low cut, black dress with pretty lace for the left sleeve and solid material on the right that wraps over more lace underneath. The perfect mix of femininity and authority. I think I know which outfit is the one for me.
Slipping into the warm material with ease, I grab my car keys and head out to meet Mrs. Park at the venue. The thought of sending Baekhyun a text crosses my mind while taking the elevator. Now that I think about it, I haven't heard from him all day. Where he at?? Is he still working late or did my comment about him never cooking a meal in his life hurt his feelings last night? If I wasn't piled up to my ears with paperwork all day I would have stopped by his office to have lunch…
Frowning to myself, I keep both my hands on the steering wheel, leaving my phone untouched in my purse on the passenger floor. Worried or not, I'm not even going to pull out my phone at the next red light. In a big city like Seoul, it's best not to take any chances, if any for that matter.
I navigate down the bright streets with ease, thankful that my GPS is cooperating with me today. Within an hour of traffic jams and watching out for jaywalkers on the street, I'm pulling into the parking lot of the venue. And with Mrs. Park leaning against the hood of her car, she isn't hard to find.
Making a three point turn, I back up into the parking space next to hers, not up for the hassle of dealing with gold digger assholes who will want me to hit them with my car later. Seoul or the South, the bullshitty ways of the road aren't that different.
"Hey," Mrs. Park smiles when I step out of my Porshe, dressed to the nines in her black pantsuit. She tilts her head towards the venue, the twinkle of her diamond earrings catching in the bright streetlights. "You ready to go?"
I walk around to her side to retrieve my purse from my car, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Yes, ma'am."
She smirks, a knowing look in her eye before locking her car. "Let's go."
Eyeing her warily, I follow her to the grand building, the clicks of our heels echoing across the pavement. For a moment the silence around us has me worrying if we are late until I see a red carpet surrounded by paparazzi in the far distance. What the hell?
"What exactly are we attending?" I ask carefully.
"A press conference," She doesn't miss a beat, glancing over at me. "Don't look so scared."
"I-"
"Smile," She continues, smiling reassuringly, "Just be yourself."
Sighing softly, I nod, preparing myself for anything. I trust Mrs. Park a lot, but if her cheeky son is anything to go by, I might be walking into something right now. And I have no idea what is awaiting me.
The clicks of the flashing cameras become more audible as we approach, a dozen cameramen throwing questions at us at once. I just smile, making sure all my sides are my best side while walking down the red carpet. Mrs. Park dodges their questions with ease, falling into step with me. We enter the open double doors of the venue without a hitch and the sight on the inside takes my breath away.
Floor to ceiling windows occupy the spacious hall with rows upon rows of velvet covered seats and a chandelier sparkling overhead. The stage at the far back has the first set of burgundy curtains drawn, showing a microphone stand. What kind of press conference is this? The amount of seating astounds me, let alone when Mrs. Park walks us right up to the front row.
I have so many questions to ask, but I just sit down in the seat at the end of the row, on the left side closest to the stairs leading up to the stage.
"Are we early?" I crane my neck around, watching other sharply dressed businessmen and women slowly fill up the venue.
"No." Mrs Park shakes her head as the lights dim down, smiling knowingly. "We're right on time."
Before I can reply, something shiny catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to face the stage, my eyes widening at the silver haired man walking out onto the stage.
"Good evening, everyone." Baekhyun's honey-smooth voice echoes around the hall. He struts over to the mic stand with a white microphone in hand, his Ceo aura and chosen outfit for the night taking my breath away.
He's wearing a sparkly black blazer with a black button-down shirt underneath, the first few buttons undone. The sleeves of his jacket have a glittery gold embroidery design shaped like a crown and there's a matching necklace resting around his shoulders, twinkling alluringly under the dim lights. His snug black jeans and heeled boots nearly have me on the floor. Pardon my French but—step on me please?
I gulp, sitting back in my seat while Baekhyun commands the stage. He has the whole crowd wrapped around his finger with every charming smile and deep chuckle he sends our way. I graciously accept a glass of wine from a waiter and cross my legs, too busy admiring him to listen to a word he says. It's been a while since I've had the pleasure to see this kind of view.
Baekhyun continues to speak to the crowd, coaxing adoring 'ah's' and the occasional applause. I lose my sense of time the longer he gives his speech, idly swirling my drink around my glass. I've barely drank half of it by the time the event starts coming to an end.
"Everyone." Baekhyun's voice rings over the murmuring crowd, clasping his hands together over the microphone, a soft smile playing at his lips. "If I can have a moment of your time, I'd like to say a few things before we wrap up."
My eyes widen to the size of saucers when he says my name, holding a hand out for me to take. I look around, narrowing my eyes at Mrs. Park's smiling figure. The wink she sends my way tells me everything that I need to know.
Everyone else in the crowd starts looking around, some of them settling their eyes onto me. I take a final sip of my wine and slowly set my glass down in the cup holder next to me. With one last breath and a weary glance, I approach the stage, the clicks of my heels echoing around the room.
The closer I get to Baekhyun's beaming face, the more my heart pounds, butterflies erupting in my stomach. But the moment my cold hand is securely in his, all of it fades away. With Baekhyun, I know I am safe.
He smiles, looking me over with affection shining in his eyes. "Everyone, meet my girlfriend." He announces into the microphone, softly squeezing my hand and facing the crowd again. "She didn't expect to be here tonight..." He trails off, smiling sheepishly. "I'll probably be getting an earful later." He chuckles, joining everyone in their brief laughter while I shoot him a look that screams 'you're damn right.' "But for now," He continues, settling his sparkly brown eyes back onto me, "I have something important to say."
Baekhyun takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. "If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be standing here today." He squeezes my hand again, flickering his eyes back open to stare into mine. The warmth and undeniable love swirling within them sends my heart into overdrive. "If it wasn't for her patience, care and timeless, endless bounds of love." He sighs softly, smiling so sweetly while wrapping an arm around my waist before turning us both to the second set of curtains. "I wouldn't be here to present the newest clothing line."
The curtains go up and my jaw drops at the sight.
A huge glass container stands in the middle of the stage, showcasing mannequins wearing various articles of clothing. Soft looking blue sweaters, comfy jogging pants, black leggings with white embroidery flowers on the ends, and short jean shorts. There are over a dozen different clothes on display with the letter 'R' scripted on the front in beautiful cursive, but what really captures my attention is the red dress. Front and center.
The backless, sleeveless burgundy mermaid dress covered in sparkly jewels from start to finish, twinkling prettily under the dim lights while spun around on its high-rise platform.
"This goes out to Riley." Baekhyun hugs me close, making me grateful that I'm facing away from the crowd when tears spring to my eyes. He smiles shyly while gazing at me with those warm brown eyes. "The woman of my dreams and love of my life."
I stare right back into those deep brown pools of love, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my chin from wobbling. Not able to take it anymore, I cup his glowy cheeks in my hands, pressing my lips to his.
•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1) P(2) | Part 6 P(1) P(2) —– P(3) P(4) —– P(5) P(6) | ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1)✓ P(2)
A/N: This was a mouthful, don’t mind me, I’m formatting the other 9k 😭💗
#baekhyun smut#bbh-net#supermwritersnet#baekhyun angst#baekhyun fanfiction#baekhyun fluff#baekhyun romance#Six Phases#let's go heartbreak and smutty town#with a surprise within ;)
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not sure how to make an introduction for this tutorial. i might have gone too extra because it’s so long...but this is highly requested and i said i would do this as detailed as possible, so here we go!
adobe photoshop 2018 (ahoy, matey!)
topaz lens effects (just for grain)
srwe (sometimes, but not for this tutorial)
reshade (i dont use a specific preset)
drawing tablet (wacom intuos art)
macbook pro mid-2015 (but bootcamp)
//part one
grab a screenshot from your own lovely screenshot folder! mine is straight from my reshade screenie folder. then crop it how you like it! my original screenshot size is 2560 x 1600, and i almost always cut the background out. this is how i do it:
click color range, then click on the background of your sim. the little screen above will look like that. the background should be white. it’s easier when it’s a fully solid color. those are my settings above. click ok! the selected area will have those teeny tiny marching ants.
click quick selection tool, then select and mask...
i drew over these circled areas using the “add brush” i showed above. use “on black” viewing mode, then make sure that the sim is completely filled black (it’s the unselected area). use shift edge so there wouldn’t be any of the original bg left over. my settings are shown above. then click ok if you’re all done. press delete and then ctrl + D to unselect. the marching ants should be gone. go ahead and crop it!
after cropping, i resize the width of the photo to 1280px! always!
i create a new layer for my background, then add in the psd that i use for my edits. (i hide my psd layer while drawing)
sometimes i also use liquify to edit things like this:
//part two
i use a soft round brush to do everything! it’s literally from adobe, but i changed a few things like the flow jitter in transfer.
red areas are usually where i put the shadows, purple areas are usually where i put the highlights
i usually do the shadows before anything else! it’s pretty simple. using the brush i showed above, i create a new layer.
use the eyedropper tool on her skin, then pick a slightly darker shade. change the blending mode of the layer to multiply, then draw the shadows.
right click on the layer, then select “create clipping mask” to make your life a little bit easier. an arrow will appear beside your layer.
//part three
this is where i draw over the features. let’s look at her face. these are basically what i think it needs:
pay close attention to the imperfections and clean it up! that’s what makes it “sharper” in my opinion. small brushes will do the job! something like this:
define the edges!!! define!! zoom in and take a look!! even though these are tiny little details, it makes a whole lot of difference! the eyedropper tool is your best friend!
i start with a big brush and then i use smaller and smaller ones as i go, which creates the sharpness. go a little darker as well! im not very skillful with my graphic tablet, so i add stuff bit by bit since it tends to become too harsh when i just go for it! im not as talented as some of u here ;-; i just wing it and pray it doesnt look too bad. half of the time im just experimenting since i literally do not know where some shading goes
i wont be showing every single thing, but basically that’s the idea! i’ll add in the stuff i pointed out above and more shadows. sometimes i might turn down the opacity of some layers if they look a bit too much. here’s what we got so far:
i also like adding some face pores using this amazing “skin texture 1″ brush from this brush pack!
//part four
for the highlight layer, i change the blending mode to either overlay or soft light. use a slightly bigger brush for the bigger areas. use the eyedropper tool on her skin, and instead, pick a lighter shade.
let’s start adding highlight to the purple areas i marked above!
try to enhance the highlight on tiny details too such as the eye corners! if you want something more dramatic, create a new layer and do an overlay layer this time! don’t be afraid to add some on the hair, eyes, lips etc.
//part five
ok lets add some not decent looking hair strands. i almost always avoid this part because i literally have 0 idea on how to draw hair. i use the “hair base” brush from the same brush pack i linked to above and also have smoothing on to about 35%! the eyedropper tool is still your best friend! just follow the flow of the hair and i guess you’ll be fine ???
i’ll also fill in the annoying gaps beside her neck
unhide your psd layer and wooowweee
//part six
select all the layers, then click create a new group!
select the new group, then hit ctrl + J or right-click the new group, then click duplicate group
right-click the duplicated group, then click merge group!
i do this so i have a backup of the collapsed layers and can make changes anytime.
i use the sharpen brush on small details i circled below. i used to do stylize > oil paint or topaz clean before, but since the personal action that i use blur things a lot, i try to keep small details visible and sharp.
next is smart sharpen, my settings are below. sometimes i go for a smaller radius, but it looks like this most of the time.
my personal action set consists of this:
duplicate the layer that you just used smart sharpen on, then click lens blur!
below are my lens blur settings
turn the opacity of the layer (that you just put the lens blur on) to 40%
select both layers, right-click then merge layers!
duplicate the layer again (yes, again) then right-click, choose blending options.
uncheck the R located on the “channels” under “advance blending” then click ok.
an icon will appear on that layer!
make sure you have that layer selected, then click the Move tool
then hit your arrow left/right key once or twice! i do it once because i only want a subtle 3d effect! go ahead and merge those layers!
last step is the grain effect. i use topaz labs > topaz lens effects. if you don’t have this, you can also use filter > noise > add noise that photoshop has.
these are my settings:
//final look!
here’s a before and after gif! (here’s the finished edit) i hope everything’s clear! i’m really bad at explaining things (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
feel free to tag me when you use this tutorial for an edit!! i would like to see it! i hope this helps! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡
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gif cut-out tutorial
ok ok so @subtledean requested a tutorial on how to do stuff like this post with the gif cutouts and the text effects. hopefully this helps aria ;w; i’m not the best at explaining things but i included some screencaps for clarity. i’ve tried to compress all the sample gifs and screenshots down to under 3mb to avoid tunglr compression on mobile so if they look a little different from the actual gifset, that’s probably why!
what you’ll need:
photoshop, i’m using PS 2021 but any version of photoshop will work out
a basic knowledge of gif-making (i’m assuming you already know how to make a gif and color it).
step 0: storyboard
this isn’t strictly necessary but i HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it. you don’t have to do any photoshopping this first step, but it’s really important to check out your footage and the shots you have gathered to see what works, especially if you’re trying to combine three or more gifs onto the same canvas. like literally take a piece of paper and draw out where you want the character’s faces to be, where you want the cutouts to be in relation to their faces, and think about whether or not there’s enough empty space to the right or left of characters heads for a cutout to be placed. is there too much movement that would be distracting or messy in an already busy gif?
things like that really help, and it also makes you double check on your footage quality and feasibility. if you end up making a gif where you want one character’s face to be on the left side of the gif but it turns out there’s not enough empty space on the right side of their face to place a cutout and you then have to hunt for new footage or start all over, it’s kind of a trainwreck and you just waste another hour of your time as you deepen your procrastination hellhole. that’s not a real story—
step 1: make the base gif
i’m assuming you know how to color it already. and aria i KNOW you know how to color already so :) size it accordingly to your desired dimensions.
as you can see, i left enough space on the right side of abaddon for the knight cutout to be placed.
save this as a .psd file. you don’t actually have to sharpen and do everything that comes at the end of making a gif right away, but make sure your layers are clearly labeled. do NOT convert to video timeline/smart object just yet.
step 2: make the cutout gif
this is critical: make absolutely certain your cutout gif has the same number of frames as your base gif. otherwise it could get really messy! abaddon has 20 frames, so the cutout will also have 20 frames. again, do not convert the cutout gif to a video timeline/smart object. just keep it as a frame animation. here’s my cutout gif. it’s just a simple b&w gif but i added a touch of purple for color consistency sake whatnot.
now for this particular gif i’ve actually cropped abaddon to be roughly exactly where i would want her face to be in relation to the first gif, but that is unnecessary. helpful, but unnecessary. you do NOT need the cutout gif to be cropped exactly perfect in order to make this work.
step 3: combining the two gifs
there are many different ways to combine two gifs onto the same canvas. some people like to do it via video timeline. i prefer to do it by frames and convert everything to a video timeline only at the end (it’s just a personal preference). here’s a tutorial if you prefer working with timelines, but i’m gonna go over how to do it by frames.
first group everything in your base gif into one folder. then group everything in your cutout gif into one folder as well. you can name them however you want to keep track of things.
then, select all of the frames in your cutout gif. in this case, all 20 of b&w abaddon get selected. make sure its not just frames 4-20 or whatever, but all the frames you made. you can click frame one and then shift-click your last frame to double check.
click the timeline tab group options bar and then go to options > copy frames
now go to your base gif canvas. select ALL the frames of your base gif as well (it’s critical that all of them are selected).
now do options > paste frames.
a popup should appear and you’re going to select the “paste over selection” option. do not link layers.
your cutout gif should now be completely or partially obscuring your base gif. however, now you should see two groups on your sidebar of layers. one for the base, one group for the cutout. if you labelled them with names you can tell which one is which.
step 4: creating the cutout
in order to create the cutout, we use my favorite thing in the whole world of photoshop. layer masks.
to make a layer mask, you simply select a layer or group you want to mask and then click this little icon on the row of icons at the bottom of your layers panel.
white on a layer mask means whatever group or layer is getting masked is completely visible. black on a layer mask means that the group or layer is invisible. if there is 50% gray on a layer mask, then its 50% visible. so on and so forth.
i love these so much i abuse them on the daily. i’ve made a few gifs where i’ve masked every frame one by one because i wanted to get some cool effects. admitting that kind of embarrasses me but oh well.
anyway this is simple though. just find a picture or an outline of a knight. i used these boyes:
obviously i cropped out the knight of the bunch, got rid of the watermark, and then i placed it on the canvas where i wanted it to go.
select the interior of the knight with the magic wand tool. should be pretty simple since it’s all black.
now click over to your layer mask. make sure you have selected the mask and not the group. you can tell you have selected the mask when a little white rectangle pops up on it.
when you know you have the mask selected, click command+i or control+i to invert. if for some reason you do not have this keyboard shortcut, just take a brush tool and color over the area in complete black. as long as the magic wand tool is still selecting just the interior of the knight, it should be fine.
now once again, black means a layer will NOT be showing, white means a layer will be showing. so right now after i disable the visibility of the top layer we used as a reference for the silhouette, it looks like:
do not fear the clownery. layer masks are great because they are always non-destructive. meaning that even if you somehow mess up and your canvas is showing something completely gross, you can always go back and edit your layer mask and your original gif would be unharmed as long as you did not touch any layers in the group, only the mask. simply invert the mask (again, make sure your mask is selected and then command+i or image > adjustments > invert) to get:
for a layer mask that looks like:
you could have also just made a black layer mask to begin with and then inverted the knight outline to be white. many different ways to do the same thing.
another tip: if you select your outline and then click layer mask upon a group or layer with no mask at the current moment, it will automatically make a layer mask with your selection as white and the unselected pixels as black. this is normally how i do my cutouts, because it’s a time-saver even if it like. saves a few seconds max. but i typed out the above for explanation and clarity, so hopefully i didn’t just make anyone more confused.
anyway.
now say you don’t like where the cutout abaddon is positioned. layer masks can also be linked or unlinked, depending on the little link icon you see between the group and the layer mask in the image above. if the icon is visible, the layer mask and the group are linked. if you cannot see the link icon, they are unlinked.
linked layer masks will move in conjunction with the group if any type of transform is done upon them. if the group moves, the layer mask also moves. but if a layer mask is unlinked, you can move the mask and the group independently of one another. for instance, i can change where the cutout is located on the overall canvas of the gif by simply moving ONLY the layer mask (and thereby changing where the blacks and whites of the layer mask occlude the cutout gif contents). but i can also transform the cutout gif layers without changing where the overall outline is located relative to the canvas itself. basically, i can transform the interior contents of the cutout independently. so here (make sure all of your frames are selected):
group unlinked. i’m also making sure that now i am selecting the GROUP (ie. the frames of the layers you are actually going to move) and not the layer mask. you can tell because the little white rectangle around the layer mask can no longer be seen.
now i can transform/adjust the contents of the cutout solely “within” the cutout, and i don’t have to worry about changing where the cutout is located in relation to the overall gif. when transforming, make sure all the frames of your gif are selected. like select the whole group and not just an individual layer, basically.
i’ve seen a lot of how to combine and cut out gifs tutorials on this website, and here is a really good one that i know sully also used <3 big shoutout to all the photoshop queens being inspired by each other!! however i haven’t seen anything that mentioned the linked vs. unlinked layer masks, which i really feel like deserves a shoutout. you don’t have to crop your gifs out perfectly every time, you can always adjust them later. for demonstration, i’ve positioned abaddon in a few different positions with an unlinked layer mask.
step 5: creating the outline
so in order to emphasize the shape of the cutout (the knight), i simply delete the white space surrounding the picture of the knight in the original silhouette that i used. magic wand tool + delete. you can also make a new layer, then paint bucket tool it. many ways to do the same thing.
now with only the knight on a transparent background, i double click the layer to pull up the effects. select outer glow. i used these settings:
when you are doing this, make sure you are on frame one of the frame animation and the “propagate frame one setting” is selected, otherwise you might end up only applying the effect to one out of your many frames, which blows.
then i go change the fill setting to 0%, BUT i leave opacity at 100%. fill is basically like opacity, but it doesn’t affect layer effects (whereas opacity does). so you basically get only the outline but not the black. you can also set the blending mode of the layer to screen and get the same effect, etc, etc. feel free to adjust however you see fit, in addition to the outer glow settings.
i move this layer over a couple pixels to give it the little offset effect, but you don’t have to.
step 6: adding the text
okay the two fonts i used are avenir and perla. i think a LOT of gifmakers use them because they’re really pretty.
i make TWO different text layers, one with avenir in a smaller size and one with perla in a bigger size. this is because for the perla one, i’m going to be changing the blending mode whereas i don’t want to be changing the blending mode for the smaller text. i position the text where i want it to be and make sure the perla font is in the color i like:
then i change the blending mode of the fancy text (perla) to difference. ONLY that layer, and again make sure to check “propagate frame 1″ and make changes on the first frame to apply the change to all of your frames.
but i still don’t think it produces enough of a difference. so i right click on the text layer for knights of hell, and then go to: select pixels.
then i click the curves adjustment layer. this will automatically make a curves layer with a layer mask that occludes everything BUT the area you selected. beautiful. i drag the curves around until i get enough of a difference that i like. normally i make the lights lighter and the darks darker. yeehaw.
again there are sooooo many different ways to achieve the same effect on photoshop. this is just want comes easiest to me, and it’s totally okay if you find a different way that works better for you at producing the contrast you want or the colors you want.
step 7: export and cry
NOW you can convert everything to a video timeline, put your video frame layers to smart objects, and then apply your finishing sharpening filters. export, cry, and hope tumblr compression doesn’t screw you over.
hopefully this was helpful! pls like... idk support my edits if you found this helpful or reblog this post. feel free to dm me about how u do some of the text effects as well bc i’m always trying to learn new things and i am by no means an expert on like. any of this.
aria please go write your fucking thesis before i delete this entire tutorial challenge. :D
#subtledean#THIS IS FOR YOU#I FEEL LIKE THIS TUTORIAL HAS MORE WORDS THAN UR THESIS ATM SO!!!#tutorials#mine#idk what to tag this but PLS pls pls feel free to talk to me abt ph*toshop#or ask for help or point me towards other tutorials <3#shoutout to sully too its in there somewhere#resources#100n#ps
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Hi Mandy 💖💖 If you have the time I was wondering if you can make a tutorial for how you make gifs since you've mentioned that you use mac and don't have photoshop (I'm in a similar position myself 😅😅). So, I'm not sure where to start. Thank you for your time. 💖💖💖
Oh hi nonnie! I don't think I'm the best person to ask because I usually just fuck around a bit until it looks ok?? But I can give it a shot.
Below are the tools I use to make my gifs:
Photopea: it’s basically a replica of Photoshop, it’s completely free and you can find it here.
iMovie: Since I’m on Mac I use iMovie to edit my clips and download them.
Step 1: Load your video onto iMovie and using the Split Clip Command (⌘B) create the clip you want to gif and download it onto your mac in a Mp4 file.
Step 2: Open Photopea click on file > open and then select the clip you previously downloaded, when you try to open your clip a tab will show up asking you to set your FPS (basically frame rate), I usually stick with the default and keep at 10 but you change it if you wish. Once your clip is loaded it is going to be in a folder in frames and your window should look something like this.
Step 3: Now we can start coloring the frames. I usually use selective color and saturation to color my gifs but there are other ways to do it! First you’re gonna click on “New Adjustment Layer” and from there scroll and select “Selective Color”
Step 4: Once you’ve opened the selective color layer, click on properties and start coloring the individual shades in your frames (some times there are colors that won’t appear in your frames so you won’t need to color them, in my case, there is no green color in this frame so I don’t need to color it). Remember to make sure that your selective color layer is above your folder of frames. Now click on “New Adjustment Layer” again and open a “Hue/Saturation” layer, click on properties and mess around with the hue/saturation/lightness and find what works best for you.
Step 5: Once you’ve colored your gifs you can start to sharpen them. Press and hold the Shift key to select multiple layers and select all your frames them click on Filter > Sharpen and mess around a bit until you’ve sharpened your gifs like you want. You can mess around with your filters a bit more I usually blur my gifs a little too so they don’t come out too grainy.
Step 6: Now the last step is to export your gif. Click File > Export As > Gif. Once you do that a tab will pop up asking for gif size and other things. Make sure to resize your gif so it has the width of 540 px, however for different photo formats you’re gonna need different sizes (if you google tumblr photo dimensions you’ll probably find it!). I usually also dither my gifs for better quality but sometimes dithering can make it worse so it depends on your gif!
And here is the final product!
I’m still fairly new at gif-making so this probably not the best tutorial djkbgdjh. But I hope this helps! Happy gif-making <3
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How do you find your found family? With a compass, of course. Hopefully they're always north of you.
EXU, 1611 words, all this is based off of is episode 1 vibes.
He's made it back to the place they're supposed to meet up before anyone else... but as he looks up at the statue he's waiting by, he realizes it looks different than it had this morning. From this angle, the marble statue almost looks bronze. The plaque on the base shares no secrets with him, either. He doesn't remember the name of the mage well enough to look for it among the words.
He sidles politely up to a man selling baked goods from a storefront. "Sorry to bother you," he says. The elf looks friendly enough. "I'm supposed to be meeting my friends by a statue of a mage? Is there one of those nearby?"
"Sure," the elf points first behind Dariax and then to the side. "There's the Vysoren statue at the north end of the Promenade, and there's a few in the park a few streets over. Can I offer you a doughnut for your walk?"
Dariax surveys the choices as the merchant begins to describe each flavor in detail. "I'll take one of each," he says decisively. That's enough to give one to each of his friends and still have a couple for himself.
Armed with fresh supplies, he stops at the crossroads. He can't see any other statues from where he is, so he places his compass in his palm and gives the needle a good spin while he munches on his first doughnut. When it slows, it's pointing off to his left, and as he follows its direction, he sees Opal's shining hair as she turns a corner and heads away from him.
"Hey! Hey Opal!" Dariax almost drops the bag of doughnuts as he scrambles to catch up. "Wait for me! I'm coming too!"
She turns around and waves with a huge smile as soon as she sees him. Dariax triumphantly offers her first choice of the doughnuts.
And they might get lost once or twice more before they find the right statue, but they make it with two doughnuts left. Dariax splits one with Dorian, and Fearne and Ormyn split the other with none left over for the monkey, which Dariax counts as a resounding success.
He's sitting at a bar, enjoying a cup of good ale, Dorian's music from the far side of the room, and the company of the pretty bartender, now that the night is later and the customers have slowed down.
Not all the way down, since it's a big place and she's the only one working. She laughs at Dariax's jokes, but when a trio of well-dressed merchant types sit down at the far end of the bar, she heads off. This time, without any assurance that she'll be back.
It doesn't ruin Dariax's mood any. Without her to talk to, he slips into a quiet, buzzy contentment, happy to savor his ale and the dry warmth after a day slogging through wet mud. He watches the way the firelight flickers on the glass bottles behind the counters for a while, a little drunk and a little hypnotized. When he feels his eyes start to cross, he shakes his head and sits up. He hadn't realized how far he'd slumped over.
The wood of the bar is the same color as parts of his compass rose. He turns the pendant over in his hand and gives the needle an idle spin. It settles pointing to his right, and Dariax is surprised and pleased to find Orym sitting beside him.
He knocks his mug companionably against the halfling's smaller, fuller cup. He doesn't recognize the drink in it. "All right then, Orym? You took some pretty hard hits there earlier."
"All right," Orym agrees. "Thanks to your help."
Dariax fills up to his ears with pride and warmth, and throws an arm around Orym's shoulders, pulling his whole stool closer in. "Of course! That's what friends are for, right?"
The bartender returns, bustling. "Need any refills, lads?"
"I'll have one of what he's having," Dariax tells her, gesturing at Orym's cup.
She raises an eyebrow but turns to grab a bottle from a shelf.
"Wait," Dariax whispers to Orym, "is that very expensive?"
"No," Orym whispers back, smirking. "Just not alcoholic."
But Dariax can't back out now. He only picks up the cup once the bartender has turned away again, and prepares himself to say something polite about whatever it is.
He takes a sip. Then one more. "Hey! That's actually pretty good!"
Orym chuckles into his cup. Dariax grins, so wide his cheeks hurt.
It's moved from late at night to very, very early in the morning. The moons have both set, even the crickets have stopped singing and gone to sleep, and Dariax is concerned that the sounds he's hearing in the woods is a pack of wolves coming to rip their throats out.
Dorian is the one who woke him up, so Dariax shouldn't bother him. Opal screamed and slapped time last time he woke her up, so he doesn't want to do that again. That leaves Fearne or Orym... Orym also hates being woken up, and the fucking monkey is curled up like a furry, smoldering teddy bear in Fearne's arms. No good options.
Dariax hears the noise again, and sees a treetop across the fire shake slightly. Wolves climbing trees? That's very bad. He looks anxiously between Orym and Fearne, hoping one of them will wake up on their own.
No dice. Stumped, Dariax picks up his compass rose and gives the needle one tiny little tap. It quivers and points at Fearne.
Maybe that's a good call. Little Mister can go up the tree and fight the wolves there. Dariax leans over and gingerly shakes Fearne's shoulder.
Her eyes pop open and her ears flicker as he puts his finger to his lips, then points out to where he heard the noise.
"I think there's something out there," he whispers. "Maybe wolves."
Fearne sits up quietly, sliding the monkey down onto her bedroll gently enough that he only mutters and rolls into the warm spot she leaves behind.
"I have a way to see," she whispers back, and casts a spell that Dariax doesn't recognize. Everything around them seems to catch fire for just a moment, then the light settles into a dim, smoldering blue, outlining their sleeping friends around the fire, each leaf of the trees and bushes around them...
and the family of startled raccoons staring down at them from the trees.
Fearne giggles, and Dariax slumps in relief. "Not wolves," she says, and pats him on the shoulder. The light around them fades like an ember dying, and they sit and watch the forest wake up around them.
Dariax is feeling very proud of himself for smooth-talking the smith into a discount. His spear is looking sharp and shiny, and he picked up some new daggers for Opal with the extra cash he'd saved. They're just normal, not as pink as her favorites, but pretty good all the same.
He'd offered to get Dorian's axe sharpened as well, but apparently it doesn't work that way.
He's heading back to their spot, following the sunset down the main road, when he hears a noise from an alleyway to his left. It's soft, but as he listens closer, it resolves into music, an unfamiliar melody that seems to draw him in.
Dariax shakes his head and turns back down the well-lit, populated main road, which has no suspicious music.
He takes a few steps away.
He squeezes his eyes shut and counts to ten, but that doesn't make him move any farther down the main street.
He turns to the alley. He turns away. He takes out his compass rose and shakes it, listening to the music all the while. It has a rhythm, but the single notes feel lonely, like it's supposed to be part of a larger piece.
The needle settles, and points straight down the alley. Dariax follows.
There's a little garden at the end of the alley. It's full of flowers he thinks that Fearne would love, and a fountain gurgling cheerfully in the center.
He doesn't try to move sneakily, but Dorian's eyes are closed when Dariax comes around the corner, flute raised to his lips, a focused expression on his face as he repeats a phrase before moving on.
Dariax stands and watches quietly for a moment, swept up in the music, before he clears his throat. Dorian startles and the music ends in a squeak.
"Sorry," Dariax says into the sudden, awkward quiet. "I didn't mean to interrupt."
Dorian fixes on a blinding smile and gives his cape a little flourish, sliding the flute back onto his belt. "Nonsense, my friend! I was just it was time for me to rejoin the group."
He slides past Dariax and starts back down the alleyway. Confused, Dariax looks regretfully at the little garden and hurries to catch up with his long-legged friend.
"You know, I can't play the flute or sing too well, but I bet I could beat on a drum, or a tambourine or something." He searches for the right words as Dorian keeps moving. "If you wanted some accompaniment someday. That song sounded, I don't know. Lonely?"
"Oh," Dorian says quietly. He stops and turns to Dariax. "I suppose it does."
"I bet Opal can sing alright," Dariax muses.
"And Little Mister can play the piano?"
Dariax scowls. "I don't know about that. I just mean, you don't have to play alone all the time. Just, keep that in mind."
Dorian gives him a real smile now, small but honest. "Thank you, I will."
#cr#exandria unlimited#i'm back on my bullshit#and VERY rusty#oof#this is too small and unbeta-read for ao3#dariax#fearne calloway#opal exu#dorian storm#orym#exu#cr spoilers#exu spoilers#critical role#cr fic
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GIF Tutorial for Beginners (Bonus Links)
I made this beginner’s tutorial on how to make a basic gif in Photoshop, and tumblr ate the last bit for some reason!
So here’s some additional stuff that I don’t feel the need to explain because I know other people’s tutorials that I follow exactly! I’d recommend first getting comfortable with the stuff in my beginner’s tutorial. I could do that stuff in my sleep at this point, which makes it a lot easier to add new stuff and experiment! If you do it all at once, you’ll spend 12 hours on one gif, and in the end won’t know which parts actually made it good or bad (yes I speak from experience lmao).
Things that are a bit more advanced but are part of my own basic giffing process:
Tips on how to not end up with completely whitewashed gifs: 1, 2
Beginner: text/subtitles
Medium: More in-depth colouring: 1, 2, 3, 4
Advanced: Vapoursynth (plus video tutorial), where you process the video file before you even touch PS. You can crop, trim, sharpen, and denoise in here. It’s intimidating at first, but once you get used to it it’s easy and doing all that in VS instead of PS is so much better and faster.
Advanced: Topaz Clean, a better alternative to denoise. The advanced part is mostly finding a free copy and finding good settings.
Advanced: making gifs less grainy by making a custom color palette in the save for web panel. this is so unnecessary and small and only for when you’re at a point where you get super perfectionist about your gifs, it barely makes a difference, but it’s my absolute fave new thing so I’m including it here anyway.
Tips for posting on Tumblr:
Limit: 10 gifs/photos per photoset
Size limit: 10mb per gif, but try to stay closer to 5mb to avoid ugly automatic compression
Dimensions: 540px, 268px/268px, 177px/178px/177px (per row)
Tumblr search sucks!!!!!!! It’s almost impossible to find anything, so to get some exposure try to include tags such as, for the example in my tutorial: btsedit, jungkookedit, bangtangif, dailybts, and similar. Update/edit blogs check those regularly and reblog stuff. (For this particular fandom, @yoonglet has this fantastic post)
Tumblr search sucks part 2!!!!!! Sometimes your post just doesn’t show up in searches, and no one knows the exact rules. Some guesses: inappropriate or violent language, links especially if they lead outside of tumblr, a new blog without enough followers. Sometimes it shows up the next day. It’s all a big mystery.
Credit where it’s due! Obviously never post someone else’s gifs, but also try to include credit for video, translation, etc.
Gradient text in tumblr posts (the old tutorial at the end, I never tried the updated one)
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