#also huge migraine

[thursdayg1rl]

sexual tension btwn me and killing myslef is crazy

#wish there was a quick and easy pill you could takr i would already be gone by now #idgaf about the sanctity of life bro. its honestly not that special to me this is literally wasted on me #also printer wont work and yes its making me want to kms #also huge migraine #and have to go to fucking school to embarrass myself in front of my teacher and go to lessons where i hate eveyr single person in the room #i might just say after period one that i feel sick and come back home

[mitchmotch]

day 3 of 30 minute sketch mondays with @revalito! this time with jack zimmermann ^^ (he's 100% looking at bitty)

#jack zimmermann #check please #omgcp #omgcp fanart #sketches #i drew this with a huge migraine so its not as refined as i would have liked it to be but thats ok ! these are sketches for a reason #also i know this is a bit out of nowhere but! i used to draw a lot for check please when i was in high school #so it was fun to revisit ^^ ive been wearing my falcs shirt lately so ive been thinking about them #i think one day id like to redraw my old stuff i did it would be fun i think #even as embarrassing as some of that stuff is now ^^; its still out there somewhere! i posted it all on my oldest tumblr account #anyways. i still hold check please dear to my heart to this day #i found it at a time i needed it the most yknow how it is #its free to read and i highly recommend it if youre interested! #@ checkpleasecomic dot com :) #if u read all of this thank you! i hope u had/have a wonderful day

[da-proti-toku-grem]

how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?

#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk...... #god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours #but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk #i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her #and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk #and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights #all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then) #so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place #but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet) #we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else #she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly #and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning #also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too #so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling #my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away #there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground #i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too #after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal #all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours #we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up #my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt #idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max #we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little #i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened #anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety #or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow #i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure #yeah......... #maca speaks

[sapphirebluebird]

Y'know.. after some growth.. on my rewatch of BCS I have decided that Chuck is not a villain, he is the mentally ill precursor to the beaten down shell of a person that Jimmy turns Howard into.

I have decided that Jimmy is more of a villain than I originally perceived him as, (lot's of his sabotage behind Chuck go in hand with this thought as well) though that doesn't make me love his character any less. If anything, my love for these characters, especially the ones who I found obnoxious (mostly Chuck and Howard), grew exponentially. There's a lot of stuff I've missed on rewatch but I have certainly noticed how many more shitty things Jimmy and Kim did to Howard just to get the sandpiper case sacked while humiliating Howard. Howard has them completely clocked man, just like Chuck had Jimmy clocked! Honestly my rewatch of s6 e7 has me rooting for Howard and the end result of Lalo's execution has to be a symbol of Jimmy and Kim's relentlessness towards Howard. A symbol of the consequences of their need to play people. Howard wouldn't leave because he was too caught up in his rage at them, his honest to god understandable rage, and everybody paid the price for it. Howard's monologue was so good though. What's interesting to me is that maybe Howard does deserve a bit of guff in his life, what with the silver spoon. But his monologue is endearing to me, along with his homages to Chuck from previous scenes, and truly the growth of Howard's character is tremendous following Chuck's death. Like idk man. A lot of the things that Howard says end up being very sweet overall. Although, when Howard calls Jimmy and Kim "soulless" (SUPER funny to me btw) it is interesting to me that Lalo meets Howard after he comes out and says that. Like no, you haven't met soulless. (i believe that Jimmy isn't necessarily evil, but he is a maligned character for sure.) That being said, they did so well with building the suspense of Lalo's character and revealing just how low he will go to achieve his goals. The axe scene?? Him stalking Werner's wife?? HIM IN THE SEWERS WITH A PAIR OF BINOCULARS?? Like we all knew he was batshit but damn. When Kim went to go see him while he was being held in jail, and he compared Jimmy to la cucaracha, that was projection. He literally died in the papers but he didn't die actually. Oh also, he's crawling across the globe now in hiding and literally nobody has found him. Speaking of nobody has found him, Nacho's story was so heartbreaking truly he didn't need to be in the game.. guy was too sweet. I <3 u Nacho. When he hid in that oil tank or whatever the hell that cylinder was that shit was so smart but so nastay. Anyways I'm done talking now thank you for coming to my ted talk

#bcs #brba #spoilers #bcs spoilers #BIG HUGE RAMBLE INCOMING #sorry not sorry lolllll im high as hell tired as hell #these are my thoughts my feelings #also just had food poisoning from walmart popcorn chicken and it was truly something else y'all #i had the second worst migraine of my life and on top of that my body was like. PURGE ALL SYSTEMS. andddd i had to vomit so bad while at #work god i was fighting down nausea so hard i had the vomit sweats #the drive home was so fucked like i was honestly panicking a lil lol #all this to say #i rescind my post about Chuck

[fatcowboys]

frustrating how fucking. disabling. being disabled is rn. im tired

#migraine buddy helpfully showed me my midas score which puts me in severely disabled bc of my migraines based on their impact #which on one hand was helpful in a sense of like. hey dude. these things fuck you up and have a huge impact and jts a thing #most peiple dont have to deal with. but also was like. god yeah i sure am and also i sure am still working full time and having to just. #work thru them and cope bc i certainly cant afford to have less money #its so fuckin i furiating being disabled in the us. i cant stop working bc then ill loose my healthcare which still costs me so much money #scream. tired. #my PA for nurtec was denied bc my ins wants me to try a diff one first #which is stupid bc like one why do u get to override my dr for your budget. #why does my healthcare need to suffer because youre cheap. you arent living with this shit. #and also the alternatives they suggested are injection based which. is scary for me as someone who used to have a terrible needle phobia #jax is able to help me w them which is good bc i know i cant give myself them (maybe could do the auto injectors but idk) #but its still so. why are u like thia. also it took u so long to deny my PA and im on no preventatives rn waiting for Something #to be approved. ugh. scream.

[deancaskiss]

sorry I haven’t been active this week, first week of working has been busy and exhausting but fun and exciting! mentorship has been going great and I’m getting back into the swing of surgery and seeing patients! in less than 2 weeks, it’ll officially be me seeing my first ever patient as a doctor, but for now I’m really enjoying mentoring with some great doctors to learn more as a doctor!

#bex talks #one more day of work and then it’s the weekend #also been fighting a huge migraine this week which has been hitting hard #but I’ve had a lot of fun this week and I’m really enjoying the mentorship opportunities #y’all it still feels surreal every time a doctor introduces me as Dr G #like I feel unworthy even though I have earned this #can’t believe I see my first patient as a doctor in a couple weeks #mentorship has been great to get me back into the swing of vet med since it’s been a couple months since my rotations ended

[revenantghost]

The teru-sized thomas and creechur Vash are both about 80% finished, and the boy himself comes home tomorrow... it’s all coming together

But for now, instead of bookclubbing, migraine time ):

#WHY MIGRAINES #Also like #The thomas came out about how I expected #BUT CREECHUR... IS HUGE #I THOUGHT MY FIRST ONE WAS LORGE #BUT NO #NOT EVEN REMOTELY #I will share him when he has a head and feets #Yadda yadda

[gorgynei]

GUESS WHO JUST GOT HIS FIRST GREAT RUNE!!!!!!!!

#WEGWGAHAHAGHAGHAGHA GODRICK FDEAD. WIN IN WIN WIN #HUGE #IT GOT SOOOO HARD RIGHT AT THE END LOL... he kept spamming the fire attacks i was Sweating. EHHJEHAJDHDKSDSD #im shaking. <- hands shaking #also my skin feels numb and buzzy like a migraine aura. LOL. im so ecstatic everyone clap for me #ace plays er #ramblings

[artificial-condition]

Having a gap year was really great for me because it was the first time in my adult life that I was able to just sit with myself. Figure myself out. Work on myself. Even though I had been an adult for several years, I feel like I really matured in my year of nothing. I now feel much more firm in who I am, even with opposition; I have always been a big pushover, letting other people do whatever they wanted and letting my desires go to the side, but now I am much more likely to assert what I want and tell people no. I’ll just do and be without analyzing what others want or expect of me, and it’s so refreshing to let that go. People really do grow in the cracks

#my thoughts #I’ve worked on myself mentally #I feel like a fortress but not one with huge spikes and a dangerous moat to keep people out (like before when I was so afraid of people) #(because they could hurt me) #but instead I am like a fortress in that I am well built and stable and not easily knocked over #I built a little bridge over my moat that’s open on Tuesdays and Thursdays (and alternating Saturdays :D) #but also I’ve just really taken time to build habits like eating things (when I actually need to) that are sustaining #and got glasses for my eyesight to reduce headaches #finally went to the doctor and got migraine medication #went to the doctor TWICE MORE and tried different ones #made sure I got consistent sleep #learned how to balance productivity and fun so that I’m not wearing myself out to the point of dropping from exhaustion or a headache #I learned to listen to my body #I explored my sense of fashion!!!! which I didn’t think I cared too much about before!!! #(this was due to seeing fashion in the lens of my body not fitting into the things I liked therefore not thinking fashion was something for #me. but I pushed my boundaries and started wearing things that seemed fun ANYWAY and stopped caring about if it was *right* and #started thinking of it as a way to HAVE FUN and EXPRESS MYSELF) #(I *knew* that fashion was a form of self expression but I didn’t really get it until this past year.) #anyway. it’s been a good year in hindsight even though throughout it I had flashes of panic thinking I wasn’t going anywhere #but I grew in a different way sitting still than in the years I was *moving forward* #I’m ready to move now and I have new life skills to bring with me :)

[charismat1c-megafauna]

Have I mentioned yet that The Terror was my gateway to deciding I'm gonna go on T or

#i had a gender euphoria dream abt blanky a while back #but also this has kinda been at the back of my mind for like 10 years but i sort of waffled on it back and forth but now im like #yeah ill fuckin do it actually. i wanna do it and ive always wanted to but i just wasnt ready #i dont have high expectations but im ready for things to change. #also my parents have pretty much sussed out that im trans so i dont think itll be a huge shock #and i have shit migraines and chronic fatigue so the side affects will be nice #listen i already naturally have a very deep voice. i just want a slightly deeper one and to be able to grow a shitty moustache #anyway i saw pics of clean shaven adam nagaitis and he uh #i already look like that #its kind of uncanny #like. we have the same eyes and eyebrows #its me. ratboy. #anyway im not a binary guy and never have been i just want to make people confused #also im almost 30 but im kinda relieved that i waited so long actually

[arrowpunk]

Tee hee finished scripting the 24 page comic todayyyyyyyy

#ramblings of an arrow #we are gonna politely ignore the fact that I accidentally gave myself a migraine doing it #I didnt realize typing would be worse on my neck and shoulders than drawing #techhhhhnically its gonna be at least 25 pages because there is one page I wanna split into 2 pages because I think it both #looks better that way and would be easier to draw that way #might split one other page into 2 pages as well who knows... #we will see #realizing right now it might actuall be easier on me to do more pages with less panels per page #as opposed to less pages but more panels per page #I dunno this is a trial run sorta thing I've never done a full comic before #havent done any sort of comic project since like.... 8th grade #at least nothing that got further than first page of thumbnails #full script is a huge milestone for me though because Ive never written a comic script before #and it scared me lol #it helped that I was just taking Batty's prose and turning it into a comic script #but also its an exercise trying to figure out how to get across certain things in comic form #thumbnailed the first 2 pages as well #gonna try to thumbnail at least 10 more tomorrow

[mitchmotch]

day 5 of 30 min sketch monday w @revalito! we used the character generator from day 4 again, and my new guy is also an immortal in the same universe :) and they're gay for each other ofc bc im incredibly predictable. sketch on the right is the sketch i did of hades' character--check out his post for his version!

#character design #original character #oc #sketches #gato told me that his character likes to hand out tiger plushies to kids and stuff #and the idea of a kid being thrown a plushie and just seeing it fling towards them. LOL #if i posted the sketch by itself the caption wouldve been sumn like #get flung into the stratosphere. idiot. #also for my tiger guy hes silly billy he loves being immortal #in his tiger form he considers free trips to zoos as travel #and b4 they can get him into the zoo hes already gone baby #if anyone cares i listened to a LOT of lady gaga while designing him LOL like telephone etc #also that little sketch on the left is the first time i ever seriously drew a tiger WOO #okay thats all for now #i have a HUGE migraine LOL #if u read all this i hope u have/had a good day!

[magnus-and-the-dragon]

just drank a coffee for the first time in like six years so if i die everyone pls remind me i am simply experiencing the consequences of my own actions

#I STOPPED DRINKING IT BC I SUSPECTED IT WAS A MIGRAINE TRIGGER #the problem being that i mostly only drank coffee when stressed / sleep deprived #which are ALSO migraine triggers! so i was never Sure #and i’ve been wanting to try the salted caramel cold foam so bad #and also i already felt like GARBAGE today. super tired. #and i have Nothing to do for the next two days so! decisions were made #pray for me #i’m not a Huge coffee person but i do love coffee flavored desserts #and also sometimes i get a random craving for a sweet lil coffee drink #so it would be nice to be able to have a little here n there. as a treat. #it is Not worth the migraines on a regular basis though. #i cut out PARMESAN to avoid migraines and parmesan was one of my favorite foods In The World #so if it does trigger a problem coffee doesn’t have a Chance

[aeterna---amantes]

|| There's nothing worse than experiencing a massive aura right before the inevitable migraine... you're trying to distract yourself but you can't because if you look at something it looks like this:

When I'm finished with this life I'll demand a refund for this experience. I hate it.

#ooc #|| I look at that gif and I need to throw up ffs. I hate this. #flashy gif tw #flashing tw #munproblems #personal #|| They said that 2% of the entire population has migraine WITH aura. I'm not happy I'm in that 2% #|| They also said they disappear after age 25. THAT IS A HUGE FAT LIE.

[fatcowboys]

my period has been extra fucky since starting t and im so fuckin tired of it lol i am lucky to where i generally dont have a Ton of dysphoria but dear god my period makes me dysphoric as hell and i would like this to Stop

#i have a pcp apt at the beginning of aug to follow up on migraine meds #and shes also competant in trans healthcare #so if they are still being fucky i will def bring it up and see what options are there bc god damn #but im also probs gonna raise my dose at my gender doc fu in sept #but. yeah. im tired of this mfer #god i dont have a huge desire for top surgery but id get a hysterectomy in a heartbeat

[mkstrigidae]

The roughest of rough drafts for Chapter 14 of APWH is complete... and is 46 fucking pages. This is after multiple cuts, and moving events around.

I don't think anyone's going to mind the length, because it's a pretty event/emotion packed chapter (and it really doesn't work well if I split it up more, trust me, I've tried), but bewareeee

#just apwh things #everyone argues in this chapter #Oberyn and Dany get into a standoff and are practically about to tear each other limb from limb #The Blackfish is sick of their shit #Daemon is just tired #They genuinely do respect and like each other but they're both also temperamental dicks sometimes #like in the books dany is devoted to her idea of justice at any cost #now translate that into 'extremely overzealous prosecutor who's just been handed a career making case' #Trust me this is not the first time they've butted heads #once i finish this chapter they're brynden tully's problem- not mine lmao #like it's long because it's all kind of thematically connected around one person #3 guesses as to who #like there are some characters that aren't necessarily in the story but echoes and influences from them are everywhere #and they have a huge impact on the ways people are acting #and also WBI investigative procedure #give Brynden Tully a vacation 2k22 #i love oberyn and dany both but one has temper and impulse issues and the other has a bit of a massive superiority complex #and they both are VERY passionate about what they believe the concept of justice to be #they just interpret it a bit differently than the other #stock up on migraine meds Brynden- you're gonna need 'em