#also got a bunch of kickass t shirts

[mothuary]

MY RESPONSE WAS TOO LONG so im going to answer you in a text post lol.

Photo text: Anonymous asked: “can you share more about the Black Eagles 80s goth AU please? I’m curious as to how everyone fits in the AU”

Yes yes yes!! i can share more. i can OVER share.

so the AU it's centered around a venue in the city that edelgard starts up. Its kind of a combination gig venue/ club where they host live bands on weekends and spin records for most of the rest of the week. let me expand on the characters:

edelgard: she basically manages to get into a bunch of her fathers money and uses it to start a goth club. She does it because her dad also owns a venue, but hes not willing to support small acts if he doesn't think they'll bring a good crowd (and therefore money). She doesnt have like... tons of money from a business standpoint but its enough to get a small thing going.

Hubert: he's got a pet thing for chemistry and does photography and can make emulsion screens for t-shirts which help both the small bands and the venue make some extra cash. As always, a reliable assistant to edelgard who helps her run the place, encouraged her to do it, and can come up with really creative solutions to unexpected problems. He's also got a great pulse on the scene and is really good at scouting acts

Everyone else under the cut!!

Monica: Edelgards other assistant, has a huge crush on her. Doesn't really understand the goth thing but wants edelgard to think she's cool so she dresses up. She does the boring stuff like numbers and books and taxes, but shes really good at it and wants to help Edelgards dream so it works out.

Ferdinand: He works there, im thinking probably leads the tech or setup... but the music?? oh hes so into it. Romantic lyrics and glamorous theatrics? absolutely 100%. His family also works in entertainment (hence the stage skills) but he works with edelgard by choice because she lets him get on stage, which his family business would so not allow. He's not part of an act but he opens up for small gigs as a solo or fills in. He gets to be a rockstar for once and it is everything. Becomes fast friends with dorothea.

Dorothea: Shes scouted as a minor pop act and slated to get signed on to a record label but its nothing like what she expected: someone else writes her lyrics and she stands there and looks pretty. In order to explore her own musical inspiration, she starts writing for herself and perfoming here-- disguised in full batcave makeup with teased hair. its a journey of self exploration.

Petra: I think she would also be employed here! but not at first. She moved to [city] from a different country and found that she had a lot of trouble fitting in. After going to a club night, she met some of the regulars and found a group that didnt care if she fit in or not, as long as she had good taste in music. Introduces people to bands from home, they think its got a cool new sound. she picks up some of their music too. And maybe more than a little of the kickass style. This is the kind of place, she decides, that she wants to be a part of. She lends her strength to stage setup and helps as a security detail on occasion as well, but even when shes not working, shes often found in the audience, or hanging out in the daytime.

Caspar : Head of security! He walked in looking for a job when they were setting up the venue in the early days and after a brief deliberation over funds, the three heads of operations (lol) decided they could afford -- and ought to have-- a bouncer. He's a bit more into the punk side of the music scene but he learns to have a soft spot for crooning and synths. Plus, he found out his childhood best friend is a regular here, and this is a great chance to reconnect.

Linhardt: absolutely not employed. He spends so much time there like he really should just be working the merch table or something but he will not do it. Since he isnt being paid, edelgard tolerates his hanging about at ridiculous hours shooting the shit with Petra and Bernadetta, or reading Dorothea's lyrics and helping her pick out chord progressions. He has a really good ear for the mathematical side of music, understands music theory really really well-- but not creative at all. He can play bass, but only in a really textbook way and just cant get funky with it. Thats what he likes about hearing other people play. He will read books during club nights (but not at live shows). Hes in university and literally does all of his course reading at the club. Often found "stepping out for a smoke" (catching up with caspar)

Bernadetta: A very talented writer with an appreciation for old gothic literature. she writes poetry, and anyone who gets the opportunity to read it knows that they would make beautiful lyrics, but shes too embarrassed to share them. shes a regular and a genuine appreciator of the music. cannot play instruments. doesnt like to dance, just closes her eyes. She likes to hover near linhardt because she trusts him and his resting bitch face is a great stranger deterrent.

Byleth: idk i didnt get very far with them other than the idea that maybe they are the dj during weekdays. Since they understand everyones likes and dislikes so well, they play to everyone's preferences. Bad conversationalist and always saying cryptic shit. arrives when their shift starts and leaves when it ends. has a painfully normal day job.

Bonus: Jeritza is the lead of a band that plays here often. Mercedes comes to support him. She is so confident about being there that no one even questions her vibe. WAHHH this is so long LOL but i hope this is interesting to read!!! its got a lot of room for fleshing out but i just think its so fun and i want them all to be goth!!! heres a little doodle of linhardt, bernie, and petra hanging out in the stairwell to rest your eyes on after all that reading

#fe3h #fire emblem au #fire emblem three houses #black eagles #moths goths au #that will be my tag for this specifically lol #asks #moth speaks #cryptic art

[trans-axolotl]

i got money from the govermnet and i spent it on slutty clothes :) 

#personal #living my best life i am #can't wait till i can wear the shirt i bought without anything underneath...top surgery my beloved #i mean if i cover my nips i could still wear this shirt in several situations but. top surgery would make it easier lol #also got a bunch of kickass t shirts #got one that's like a design based on vincent van gogh my beloved #got a weird collage one #got one that says queer on it and has a quote that i love #and got one that says 'fags bash back' on it #which i love :) #got two new pairs of earrings too #and [redacted] which im REALLY excited about

[richard-nixon-official]

On the Music artists names ask game: every single question (unless you don’t want to answer some for personal reasons)

ahhh omg okay

1. Led Zeppelin- 4 turn ons

honestly the only one i know for sure is long hair

2. The Doors- 2 places you’d like to visit

new york city and los angeles

3. Pink Floyd- What are some things that make you sad?

thinking about how time is passing by so quickly and as i look on to the future i think i’m forgetting to enjoy the present and that really makes me sad

4. The Rolling Stones- What’s better, a fling/one night stand or serious relationship?

in my opinion, a serious relationship

5. Jimi Hendrix- Name 8 things that make you happy

my friends, my car, my dog, music, food, summer weather, playing guitar, getting paid

6. The Runaways- Would you say that you are self confident?

kind of. i’m not super arrogant or anything but i don’t hate myself. my relationship with myself is like the one acquaintance you have that you say hi to them whenever you see them but you never actually talk to them

7. Metallica- Do you have any special talents?

my talents are insanely boring, i get very good grades because i can remember stuff easily and i want to be a journalist because i can write a pretty kickass research paper. i want to be a musician but i don’t have a lot of natural talent so it’s going to take a lot of hard work

8. The Ramones- Do you have any pets?

yes i have a dog named eddie, we’ve had him for about 11 years now. he is like my little brother i would do anything for him

9. Simon and Garfunkel- What songs help you get through the day?

at the moment, 5150 by van halen

10. The Beatles- Are you a flirt?

hell no

11. The Mamas and the Papas- Define yourself in 5 words

i think i will leave this one alone because i can’t even think of one word to define myself. plus i would like to be a mystery

12. Blondie- Are you a virgin?

yeah, i know it’s lame

13. Nirvana- Are you an artistic/creative person?

sort of. i think i have a lot of creative energy in my head but i don’t really have a medium to let it out

14. David Bowie- Are you a follower or a leader? 

probably more of a follower, i’ve never been a very good leader. i would rather just do my part and let everyone else do theirs

15. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Have you been to any concerts? Which ones?

NO I HAVENT BEEN TO ANY AND IT MAKES ME SAD EVERY DAY!!!! i do have tickets to see def leppard’s stadium tour this year and i want to go see kiss and david lee roth but nobody will go with me so i might not

16. Iron Maiden- Would you say you have a “sexy” figure?

i mean, i think my figure is okay, maybe not super sexy but at least kind of cute. i would probably be nicer looking if i actually exercised but no thanks

17. Guns n’ Roses- Do you do drugs?

no but not because i don’t want to!!!!! i want to try pot and maybe drop acid

18. Motörhead- Are you a totally badass motherfucker?

probably not. i wish though

19. Pat Benatar- Ever been in love?

nope not yet

20. The Who- 2 of your favorite foods and 2 foods you hate

i love mac and cheese and roasted potatoes, meanwhile i fucking hate onions and brussels sprouts

21. Pantera- Did you ever get into a fist fight?

no, the lord has given me strength to control myself so far

22. The Moody Blues- What is your favorite genre of music?

rock and roll!!!

23. Journey- What’s your favorite band?

i have to say van halen. i just love them so much

24. Genesis- Do you genuinely care about others, even strangers?

yes i do, irl i seem like a kind of a bitch but i actually do care about people

25. AC/DC- Name 7 things people do that piss you off

i think i’m a pretty easygoing person in general, but if you’re a bigot i do not fucking like you and i’ll be mean enough to you that you won’t like me either. i also hate when people get mad about shit that doesn’t matter or are mean to people who are just trying to do their job, like retail workers. basically just be nice and you really won’t have any problems with me

26. Paul Anka- Are you a romantic person?

i mean, in the sense of a “hopeless romantic,” kind of. one time at school this guy held the door open for me and i actually started liking him a little

27. The Kinks- 3 of your favorite blogs?

ummm, this is hard because there are so many to choose from! @k2e4 always has good posts, @just-the-left-light-up-skecher and @ginger-ale-official also always have amazing shitposts. all of my mutuals are kings though so even if i didn’t name you, your blog rocks

28. Suzi Quatro- What do you look like right now?

well right tf now, i’m sitting at my dining room table like a gremlin wearing sweatpants and a shirt from my school, i also recently got another haircut so i kind of look like a groupie from like 1977

28. Motley Crue- What are your favorite brands? (Define your sense of style)

i don’t really have a favorite brand, i just look around and wear whatever i like. my style is very basic, usually just a band t shirt with jeans and converse and cool earrings. i’m trying to have more hippie vibes though so i made a bunch of tie dyed shirts and i will definitely be wearing those once i finish them

29. Neil Young- Do you play any instruments?

yeah i play guitar, i’m pretty bad at it though. i’m working on getting better but my progress is really slow at the moment

30. Rainbow- What’s better, day or night?

i like night vibes a lot better, so night

31. Joan Jett- Sexual orientation?

demisexual, but also straight so idk

32. The Misfits- Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

i have 2 piercings in each earlobe and i might get one more. i’m not old enough to get tattoos yet but i definitely want to

33. Janis Joplin- In your opinion, what was the greatest time or era for music?

i think the best time was from like 1965 to 1990, which i know is pretty broad but there was so much good stuff going on in the music world.

34. Deep Purple- 3 of your greatest fears

failure, death of a loved one, and spiders

35. The Tragically Hip- 6 things you want to accomplish

omg i don’t even know if i have six, but i want to go on tour with my band someday. i would also love to release an album, hopefully several. graduating college is also very important to me so i want to do that. i would also love to work for a newspaper or a radio station someday as a journalist

36. Aerosmith- Favorite celebrity? Least favorite?

my favorite is probably either john mulaney or steve carell, they just seem so cool and actually nice. there are so many i don’t like but my least favorite is probably kid rock, he sucks

37. Johnny Cash- Are you a religious person?

not really. i was raised catholic but i don’t really vibe with christianity so i kind of just believe whatever. it’s honestly kind of hard for me to explain

38. The White Stripes- Are you close with your family?

kind of, i love my family but also they get on my damn nerves. i look forward to moving out when i can love them from a safe distance

39. Madonna- Describe your crush

i don’t even have a crush right now!!!!! the only people i like are eddie van halen and john paul jones, who are both over 50 years older than me

thanks for the ask anon

[owlinaminor]

if you're still taking prompts, can I request some taz wlw? canon, non-canon, amnesty, balance, romantic, platonic, whatever you're vibin with atm, the finale was a rough one for me and i love women being happy

thanks for the prompt, anon; I totally feel you, and I hope this helps—I ended up combining amnesty wlw and balance wlw for maximum power.  also, spoilers for the amnesty finale, kinda.

“Aubrey.”

Aubrey sits up fast, all her limbs moving in tandem asthough pulled by invisible magnets.  Sherubs at her eyes, adjusting: the soft light of dawn shifting the shadows betweenthe trees, the thick scent of resin and charcoal that hangs throughout theseplaces where the Quell had its strongest hold, the birds calling out to eachother to greet the morning.  And Danileaning over her, eyes very wide and very blue.

“What’s up?” Aubrey asks, starting to unzip her sleepingbag.  “Is something wrong?”

“No—I just—the opposite,” Dani replies.  She sounds breathless, as though she’d justbeen running.

“Okay, so—something’s right?”  Aubrey fumbles with the end of the zipper thenstarts to swing her legs out.  But Daniputs a hand on her chest and lightly pushes her back down, then sits on theedge of the fabric.

Aubrey takes her hand—her palm is cool, like the morning dew.  “Seriously, what’s up?” she asks.  “You’re making me nervous.”

“They’re back,” Dani says. “I got to the part in the finale. I thought they were gone, I cried for an hour, and you just let me,you let me believe they were gone, but they aren’t, they’re backand it’s so beautiful Aubrey I’m about to start crying again—”

Her grip on Aubrey’s hand is tightening as she talks, hervoice getting faster like an engine revving up—and then she does startcrying, lifting her other hand up to her face to cover the sobs.

“It’s so beautiful,” she says again.  “It’s so beautiful.”

Aubrey uses their joint hands to pull Dani closer, closeenough to press their chests together, Aubrey’s ratty MCR T-shirt against Dani’shomemade Amnesty Lodge sweatshirt, Aubrey’s other hand coming up to rub circlesinto Dani’s back.  Aubrey could use atleast one more hour, full sunlight, and two cups of coffee to figure this out—actually,make that three, there’s no way to brew real coffee out here so they have tomake do with an electric tea kettle and some instant bullshit that tastes likecaffeinated pondwater.  But Aubrey doesn’thave any of those things, not even the caffeinated pondwater.  She only has Dani, shaking softly and sayingsomething like, “You’re safe now, we’re all safe now, we’re all safe now”—

Wait a second.

“Dani,” Aubrey says. She takes Dani’s shoulders in her hands and pushes her gently out,enough that she can see Dani’s face.  Herhair is falling out of her ponytail, blonde curls shining faintly in thegrowing sunlight, and her eyes are red-rimmed from crying and her lips arechapped from weeks in the woods, and still Aubrey forgets her train of thoughtfor a second, because this is the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen and sheneeds to remember this so that she can write it down later.

And then she remembers that this beautiful girl is literallyher girlfriend, they travel the world together doing heroic shit,and she pushes forward.

“Dani,” Aubrey says.  “Wereyou, by any chance, listening to part two of Story and Song, the finale of The AdventureZone: Balance?”

Dani nods, and when she lifts her head she’s smiling.  “Yeah,” she replies.  “I thought that was obvious.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.”  Aubrey presses her face into Dani’s shoulderto hide how it’s starting to go red.  “Itis obvious, it’s totally obvious, I had the exact same reaction when I heardit.  Not only are Sloane and Hurley notdead, they’re fucking kickass dryads that save Merle’sdaughter from the Hunger?  It’s like,fucking Griffin McElroy heard everyone yelling at him for burying the gays and—”

“And unburied them!” Dani says.  “I know! And now they’re like, deliberately placed in the narrative as rolemodels, and protectors of their city, and—”

“I know.” Aubrey sits back up, embarrassment fading, to look at Dani better.  Her eyes are still red, but she’s smiling now—andthen sun might as well go back to sleep for the rest of the day, because thisis all the energy Aubrey—no, Sylvain—no, fuck it, the entire universeneeds.

“You gotta keep listening though, babe,” Aubrey tellsher.  “It keeps getting better.”

“How can it get better than Sloane and Hurley returningfrom the dead—”

“Trust me.  You dotrust me, right?”

“What a stupid question. And yeah, come on, we can listen together while we get breakfast going.”  Dani untangles herself and stands, thenoffers a hand to Aubrey.  Maybe it’s becausethe morning is coming on, or it’s because she’s been leeching heat from Aubrey,but her palm is warmer now.  A tiny fire,or the reflection of Aubrey’s.

She pulls Aubrey up, and then Aubrey pulls her close—they needto get breakfast going, and they need to finish listening to this fucking Dungeonsand Dragons podcast, and they need to bring life back to Sylvain, yeah, okay,but first: Aubrey needs to kiss Dani, soft, under the trees.  Just to celebrate that they’re both here,both in these bodies with all their bones and arteries.  Both breathing.

according to my gf (who has been a taz listener from the beginning), the balance fandom on ao3 started out as a bunch of wlw who were really into sloane/hurley?!!  what a beautiful time.  also, don’t ask me how dani is listening to balance in the middle of the sylvain wilderness, it literally doesn’t matter. 

anyway: send me taz amnesty prompts!  i will do a couple more in the next few days

#danbrey #aubrey little #taz dani #taz amnesty #sloane/hurley #taz amnesty fic #taz #fanfic #writing #betsy does amnesty prompts #amnesty finale spoilers #taz amnesty spoilers #dani's reaction was basically my reaction i can't lie #Anonymous

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

#borderlands spoilers #spoilers #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3

[elcorhamletlive]

fandom: MCU (Alternate Universe: College/University) ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Pre Serum Steve Rogers/Fluff/Kind of a meet cute

If Bucky was here, he’d have told them to just leave the bar.

It wouldn’t be an entirely bad call, Steve guesses. It wasn’t even that good of a bar, anyway. Too loud and too crowded, with drinks way too expensive for a bar whose clientele was composed mainly of college students. Based on the quality of this evening alone, he really wouldn’t mind going somewhere else.

But it wasn’t just about that.

The guy was bothering Wanda. He really, really was. At first, it had just been awkward, when a blond douchebag stopped her on her way to get the drinks and ended up inviting himself to sit with their little group. Steve had exchanged worried looks with Bruce and Betty. If it had been Peggy, the douche would immediately have gotten a cutting reply; if it had been Natasha, a single look would have him so scared he probably wouldn’t even have approached her in the first place. But Wanda is more shy and reserved, much like Steve himself, and she isn’t very used to being chatted up. At first, she tried to let the guy down gently, smiling and nodding politely at his endless rambling, but as time went by, it became clear the man just wasn’t willing to entertain the possibility of a woman who wasn’t interested in him.

To make matters worse, although the guy is clearly a douchebag, he is also a very popular one. Wanda had become the target of one of the richest frat boys of the campus – when he introduced himself as Ty, Steve hadn’t made the connection to the Tiberius Stone, but now he did, and at least it explained the guy’s sense of entitlement.

When Ty stood up to go to his table to ask his friends about some party he was hell-bent on taking Wanda with him, Steve did what Bucky would have told him to do, and walked everyone to the exit. Bruce and Betty were wondering which bar to go next, and Wanda seemed more relaxed, when Steve stopped to say: Oh, I forgot something. It took a moment, but Steve managed to convince them to just go on without him. He promised he’d meet them later.

As soon as he got back to the bar, he walked towards Stone’s table with angry strides. It wasn’t fair that they had to be the ones to leave the bar when they weren’t the ones being inconvenient creeps. Besides, what if the jerk jumped from bothering Wanda to bothering some other girl? It wasn’t right. Something had to be done.

So that’s how Steve finds himself in front of a table with a bunch of the richest and most popular guys on campus. All of which have at least a head over him and would be definitely capable of knocking him down if they wanted to.

“Uh,” one of them starts. Steve recognizes him as Justin Hammer, who throws big parties down the hallway of Steve’s dorm. He’s sitting between Rumlow, from Steve’s math class; and a dark haired guy that also seems familiar, though Steve can’t tell why. Hammer squints his nose at Steve as if he smells really bad. “Do you need something?”

It occurs to Steve that, though he recognizes most of them from campus, none of them have any idea who he is. He feels the spike of anger on his chest rising. Stone, who has been busy looking at something on his phone, raises his head and flashes him a grin.

“Oh, hey, Stan. I’m just checking in with everyone, tell Wanda I’ll be back in a minute,” he says, with a wink.

“That’s not my name,” Steve says, clenching his fists at his sides. “And I’m not here to tell you anything about Wanda. I’m here to tell you to leave her alone.”

Stone tilts his head, frowning. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Steve blurts. His stomach clenches a little in worry as he assesses the other guys – most of them are pretty bulky, with the exception of the brunet, who seems to be more on the leaner side; and, yeah, they’re all bigger than him. He swallows. “Wanda is not interested. She’s been trying to make this clear to you the entire night, but you keep pushing, and you need to stop.”

There’s a moment of silence, and then the table breaks into a bunch of chorus of Oooooo’s and surprised laughter.

“Sounds like you’ve got competition, Ty,” Hammer says, tapping him on the back. “Tough guy here wants to take you down!”

“Look, kid,” Stone says, incredibly condescending with an edge of hostility. “I’m sorry the chick is not into you, okay? If you apologize nicely for sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, I’ll hook you up with some nice piece of ass.”

He reaches to pat Steve’s arm, and Steve shakes him off angrily, face flushing, in embarrassment and rage.

“Wanda is my friend. Not that it matters, because I’d be here even if she wasn’t,” he says. He keeps himself steady as he gives Ty a once-over. “She’s not interested in you, and, frankly, I don’t think she’s missing out on anything.”

There’s no laughter this time, though Steve does hear a solitary chuckle coming from the table. Stone stands up.

“Okay,” he says slowly. He’s a head taller than Steve. Maybe more than that. “This is where you apologize.”

Steve’s stomach twists, but he stands his ground. “No, this is where you apologize and offer to leave and not bother us anymore.”

Stone takes a step forward, towering over Steve. Definitely more than a head. “I think you should reconsider this, lightweight. The only way I’m leaving is to take Wanda to a kickass party that you definitely couldn’t get inside in a million years.”

Steve swallows. Clenches his fists. Inhales deeply before answering.

“Fuck you.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence, and then, almost immediately, Stone is all up on his face. “Listen here, you little—“

“Wow, wow, wow, okay,” a voice interrupts suddenly, and Steve turns to see the lean guy standing up and placing himself in between them. He has wild brown hair and wears a band t-shirt that definitely costs more than Steve’s entire wardrobe. Though he’s the smallest of the group, it’s clear that the energy changes a little at his interference. He lands a hand on Stone’s shoulder, casually, and Steve gets the sense that, while he may not be the leader of the pack, he’s definitely a significant part. “Ty, buddy, I’m pretty sure you won’t be leaving here with anyone since the car is, well, not yours. It’s mine, maybe the last couple of beers made you forget that,” he speaks very fast, gesturing with his other hand, and turns to Steve. He has big brown eyes that seem just as frantic as his rambling. “As for you, Lancelot, don’t worry, ok? He got loose for a while, but we’ll keep an eye on him. He won’t be bothering your friend anymore.”

Steve takes a sharp breath. Despise being shorter than his friends, the guy still has a couple inches on Steve. His expression is conciliatory, as if he’s begging Steve to cooperate. Behind him, though, Stone seems shocked and not at all apologetic, so Steve crosses his arms.

“He shouldn’t be bothering any woman who’s made clear they don’t want to talk to him. It’s not right.”

Ty’s friend seems off-put for a moment, but he recovers immediately, plastering a grin on his face so fast Steve almost thinks it must have been his imagination. “Listen, here, uh, Stan? No, wait, you said that wasn’t your name – what do I call you, not-Stan?”  he lays his hand on Steve’s shoulder now. Before Steve can answer, he continues: “I’m Tony. Tony Stark.”

Steve barely holds back a swear. Everyone’s heard of Tony Stark, the richest kid on a campus filled with already very rich people. Steve can vaguely remember seeing his face on the television a couple times, doing interviews, while he was zapping channels. Back then, he hadn’t paid much attention, just like he never paid any attention to Bill Gates’ kids or something. But he heard of Tony Stark around campus, too – how he gave the best parties, how he was disputed by several fraternities despise never joining one, and how he was apparently the smartest person since his father.

Of course, Steve thinks. Of all the people in the world to get in trouble with, Steve had to do it with Tony Stark’s friend.

Tony Stark, apparently oblivious to his shock, continues to ramble: “Look, Ty is a bit blind to other people’s autonomy sometimes – flaws, who doesn’t have them, am I right – but he doesn’t mean any harm. I assure you, he will leave your friend alone,” his voice grows strangely earnest at the last few words, but he quickly changes back to his light, fast-paced tone: “Is there a way I can make it up to you guys? Maybe buy your table the next round?” He smiles brightly, the smile of someone who’s used to buying his way out of trouble. “I’m all ears.”

Steve frowns. Stark seems weird, but something about him comes off as bizarrely sincere, in the middle of all that useless rambling. The word charisma barely begins to cover it, Steve thinks, a little taken aback – he almost managed to make Steve forget Stark wasn’t defending his friend because he made an innocent mistake, but because said friend was being a total creep.

Almost.

“There is a way,” Steve crosses his arms, staring at Stark’s expectant face. “You guys could leave.”

Stone groans. “Oh, fuck you, you—“

“Again, my car, buddy, it’s your way into Pep’s party,” Stark says, surprisingly firm, before turning towards Steve again. He seems to evaluate the situation with a few rapid blinks.

He eyes Steve up and down, rocking on his feet and thinking. Steve can’t help but shift a little, uncomfortable under the scrutiny, and something flickers on Stark’s eyes. He licks his lips, staying silent for a moment until he suddenly snaps his fingers.

“I know,” he finger-guns at Steve, grinning. “Why don’t we settle this like gentlemen, huh?” He points towards the table with his thumb. “Arm wrestling. You and me, Lancelot. You win, we leave.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “And if you win?”

Stark’s grin grows playful. “I don’t feel really good about my chances. You’re only missing your stick and stone, David.”

Steve isn’t sure if he should feel insulted or not. It sounds like it should be an ironic comment, but something about it doesn’t sound very mocking.

Stark turns towards the table, taking a seat and placing his elbow on the center. “Come on.”

Steve considers his options. Stark is not as bulky as the other guys at the table. He’s taller than Steve, sure, but then again, so is everyone. And, again, he’s Tony Stark, born with a diamond spoon in his mouth. Steve doubts he has much experience with arm wrestling, and, well, Steve grew up with Bucky. He may not be able to do anything about his size, but he’s picked up a few tricks. He figures he could probably catch Stark off guard and win this one.

Maybe.

Then again, it’s better than getting beat up, Steve guesses. And if it gets Stone’s creepy ass out of the bar, it’s worth risking a sore arm.

He sits down. The other guys on the group are watching attentively with a uncertain smiles, and Steve gets the feeling they don’t really get what Stark is going for, here. To be honest, Steve doesn’t get it either – logically, the guy didn’t have to offer him any compensation, let alone a chance to get them away from the bar entirely.

Then again, Steve thinks harshly, he didn’t have to stand up for his creeper of a friend, either.

Steve clasps Stark’s hand. It’s surprisingly calloused. Stark looks – well, he looks like the kind of guy who would have soft hands. Instead, though, his hand feels like it belongs to a person who works a lot, and Steve must frown, because Stark grins.

“Sorry, forgot to moisturize this morning”, he remarks, and it’s clearly an attempt to distract Steve that doesn’t really work. “Okay, one… Two… Go!”

Steve is prepared for the pressure of Stark’s arm. He’s not prepared for how strong he is – he almost twists Steve’s arm immediately before Steve composes himself, clenches his muscles and manages to hold out against Stark just before his own arm hits the table.

Steve takes a sharp breath and probably grunts as he does his best to keep focus, to throw his body weight to the side to push against Stark’s arm, and he can hear Stark’s friends chuckling but he stays determined, using everything he’s got.

For a moment Steve thinks it’s over, but then Stark’s arm starts losing ground, slowly being pushed back slightly. Still, though, it’s very hard to keep up, and Steve’s other hand grips the table as he struggles to keep himself steady. He can feel his breath getting short, which – oh no, oh no – is not a good thing.

“Hey, are you okay?” Stark asks, seeming alert. “What is happening?”

Steve tries to focus on breathing, but he can’t seem to find any air, and, oh God, that can’t happen, not now.

“I’m fine,” Steve blurts, even though he’s most definitely not fine, and he needs to reach for his inhaler but if he lets the table go he’ll lose his support.

He tightens his grip on Stark’s hand, focusing even more on pushing it. He can feel his face flushing, but he doesn’t care. He takes a sharp, forced breath that catches no air and his head grows dizzy.

“Ok, everyone,” Stark suddenly says, voice serious all of a sudden. “Go meet Happy.” Steve faintly hears some protesting coming from the others, but he barely registers it, focusing on blinking fast to get rid of the white spots in his vision. “Go. Now. Say I sent you. He’ll take you wherever you want to go, whatever; just get out of my sight.”

Steve clings to the table so hard his knuckles go white, and he hardly hears the responses. All he can focus on is the pressure of Stark’s hand, that seems to be… stopping?

Steve blinks as the strength in Stark’s hand clearly fades, allowing Steve to raise their hands back to the initial position. Steve tries to not lose momentum, when he hears something, the sound of the door of the bar slamming shut.

“Okay, that’s the last of them,” Stark says, and his arm just goes flat, easily letting Steve’s hand push it down, landing on the table.

Steve is panting and can barely decipher what just happened. Immediately, Stark is right next to him, hands on his shoulders.

“Okay, Lancelot, breathe,” Stark says, sounding nervous. “Tell me what you need.”

“I—“ Steve stutters. “My inhaler—My pocket,” he reaches for it before Stark can, taking it to his lips and huffing it, feeling the relief of the air reaching his lungs.

“Holy shit,” Stark says. “Were you—Were you seriously not grabbing it just because it would lose you the match?”

Steve huffs it a few more times, blinking as his vision regains focus. He looks at Stark’s face. He’s close now, leaned over Steve.

Steve is a little taken aback by the proximity. Stark is a handsome guy, of course, but right now, he looks very… smooth, with those huge bright eyes and fluffy hair falling slightly on his forehead. His nose is small with a roundish end and he has long eyelashes, giving his already warm eyes a more delicate look. It’s the rare type of face that manages to be interesting and pretty at the same time.

Steve feels his cheeks heating a little. “Yeah.”

Stark huffs out a surprised laugh, then shakes his head. “Holy shit. You’re crazy,” he says, but he sounds slightly impressed.

“You’re crazy,” Steve counters, a bit more composed. “You threw the match,” he states, unsure of how to feel about it.

“Uh, yeah, of course I did. You know, I was gonna tell them to leave anyway,” he shrugs. “Thing is, they wouldn’t have gone if they thought they were doing what you wanted. Trust me, they’d stay here all night just to annoy you. So I thought I could stall the match and then I could tell them to go ahead and that I’d take an Uber or something.” He runs his hand through his hair. It looks very soft. “Also, I thought I was going to win and it didn’t occur to me you’d be willing to kill yourself to stop that from happening.” He shakes his head again, still looking at Steve as if he has done something amazing, instead of making a fool out of himself. “Do you—Do you go here?”

“What?”

“Here. As in, on campus.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Steve shifts a little. “I’m a Political Science major.”

Stark’s grins grows. “Awesome. You know who I am, obviously,” he gestures to himself flippantly. It comes off as strangely self-depreciating. “What about you, though? I refuse to believe your name is actually Lancelot, that’d be just too much.”

“I’m, uh. I’m Steve,” he stutters, then pauses. “Why Lancelot?”

Something flickers in Stark’s eyes. “Ever read the legends? Bravest knight on the King’s court,” he shrugs, giving Steve a sideways glance. “Just seemed to fit.”

Steve’s tongue feels too big to form actual words. “Oh.”

Stark smiles. “Not a lot of people stand up to Ty, you know,” he says, looking away. His voice lowers to an almost whisper. “He doesn’t take it very well. None of them do.”

Looking at him now, Steve is struck by how different he is from the Tony Stark from TV. Tony Stark in the interviews seems a lot more exuberant, arrogantly talking over reporters and feeding the camera with outraging soundbites. Tony Stark in real life is more… believable, Steve thinks, with his nervous eyes and self-depreciating grins. He seems more real.

Steve likes him better this way.

“Why do you hang out with them?” he asks, unable to hold himself back. “You—You know they are…”

“Complete shitheads?” Stark grimaces. “Yeah. Most of them have business with my family, and Ty, his father is one of my father’s long time partners, so, yeah, the friendship was kind of sealed at birth.” He looks away, a little distant. “Reached its expiration date a while ago, though. But I can’t exactly… You know.”

Steve just looks at him. “Why not?”

Stark shrugs, and something about his smile seems a little sad. “I don’t know,” he admits. “Guess it’s just sort of hard to come to terms with not having anyone to sit with during lunch. Or some equally cheesy crap.”

Steve just stares at him wordlessly. Stark’s eyes dart away and he clutches his hands.

“I really am sorry about this whole thing,” he says. “I thought—I don’t know, you just came up to us, and Ty usually handles his problems by punching them, so I thought…” He gestures aimlessly. “I didn’t want you to get punched. And I really wanted to buy your table the next round. You guys deserved it.”

Steve still doesn’t answer, a little taken aback.

“What were you going to ask?” he blurts, interrupting Stark’s ramble. “If you won. You never said.”

Stark gives him a grin. Not the thousand-watt grin he gave him earlier. It’s smaller, charming, but also slightly nervous.

“Full disclosure? Your number.”

Steve’s eyes widen. “You—“ he stutters, feeling his cheeks heating, as he watches Stark blink expectantly at him with those big, pretty eyes. “Why would you—“

Stark frowns a little. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, a playful smile on his lips as he eyes Steve up and down. The warmth of Steve’s face travels over his whole body, in the wake of Stark’s gaze. “Like I said, not many people can do what you did, even for a friend. And almost dying to prove a point, hey—“ He shakes his head appreciatively again. “Gotta admire that.”

There’s a smile threatening the corners of Steve’s mouth, and he tries to bite it back, to play it cool, even as he shifts awkwardly, hands on his pockets. “Well,” he watches the way Stark’s eyes blink at him, and, damn, he wouldn’t mind being the target of that look more often. “If an asthma attack gets you in the mood, I’m definitely your guy.”

Stark laughs. He has a nice laugh, Steve notices, unable to fight back his own smile. A really, really nice laugh. “Nobility gets me in the mood, I guess. Like I said – Arthurian geek over here.” His smile makes Steve’s knees feel a little weak. “Plus, it doesn’t hurt that you’re really cute.”

“You’re also—Uh—You’re really—“ Steve stumbles over his words, but Stark doesn’t seem to mind, smile growing fonder. Steve swallows. “Well,” he bites his lower lip, before giving into a huge grin of his own. “Will I have to arm wrestle you again for your number?”

“Not really,” Stark (Tony? Steve should call him Tony, right? The thought gives him pleasant butterflies on his stomach) says, taking his phone off his pocket. “But just so you know, you’d win again.”

#stony #stevetony #superhusbands #stony fic #happy steve bingo #my fics

[ladyofstardust]

Carol of the Goblins

Word Count: 2.7k

Rating: T

Summary: In which Jareth fights in the war against Christmas Wrapping and he and Sarah exchange gifts. A DVD player may or may not have gone back in time and a Goblin may or may not have been on fire. Whatever, the cops left in the end.

Notes: Apartment-verse fic.  Set after the events of Thursday Night.  I’m also posting them over at Ao3 in order if you’d prefer to read that way.

You took my dreams from me When I first found you I kept them with me babe I put them with my own Can't make it all alone I've built my dreams around you

- Fairytale of New York by The Pogues

“T’was the night before Christmas and all through the apartment, there were several creatures stirring but most notably the Fae king currently in a duel with my wrapping paper,” Sarah said coming in through the front door.  Jareth was sitting crosslegged on the floor of her living room, hair sticking every which way and with several pieces of scotch tape in it. He was cursing in a language she didn’t know at her wrapping paper, while the Peanuts Christmas special played in the background.

“Sarah!” He said with a start.  “You weren’t supposed to be home for another hour!”

“Traffic was better than I expected,” she said with a smile, eyeing the nondescript box Jareth had half-wrapped.  “My family sends their love and more importantly, their gifts.”

Sarah held a bag of gifts up for him to see, but he only scowled at them.

“This holiday would be much improved without this patently impossible task.”

“If you don’t do it by hand how will I know you mean it though?” Sarah teased.  “If you can wrap my gift by hand I’ll show you my trick for next year.”

“I don’t need a trick I need magic,” he grumbled.  “I truly despise you for these ridiculous gift rules.”

“No you don’t,” she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and grabbing a stray piece of tape at the same time.  “You just need to be creative.”

“That wouldn’t be necessary if you’d just let me,” at this he gave a little hand wave and the lights on her tree all lit up.  He cocked an expectant eyebrow as if this proved his point.

“And I’ve seen what wonders and sparkly delights magic gets me for Christmas.  I want to see what my boyfriend gets me when he’s got the same limitations as the rest of us mortals.  My gift is also not made with magic I’ll remind you,” she said, retreating to the kitchen.  “Besides you’re the Goblin King. Stuff of nightmares and such. Is a bit of shiny paper really going to be your downfall?”

“Oh do go off,” he said bitterly.  “And do not come in here until I am done wrapping!”

“Babe, I will need my living room back before June,” she called from the kitchen.  

“I should really just return this and find a girlfriend who appreciates my magical abilities.”

“Probably!” She called back.  “In the meantime I’m going to start on dinner before the crew gets here.  Ludo doesn’t eat meat and Hoggle is currently on a weird Underground diet and can’t have ‘anything that flies’ and I’m not sure…if he counts chickens?”

“He does,” Jareth replied.  “Most of the Underground chickens can fly, they just choose not to because they’re disgusting, lazy vermin.”

“You’re in such a good mood that I’m going to put on Christmas carols so I don’t have to hear you shouting eldritch horrors at the scotch tape.”

Sarah spent the rest of the afternoon making Christmas cookies and a very large pot of spaghetti and cauliflower balls.  She wasn’t much in the kitchen, but one of the only skills she picked up from Karen was knowing how to make some kickass cookies.  

Her and Jareth had gotten into the habit of spending Christmas Eve together with their friends.  Sarah was less and less interested in driving for three hours to Irene’s place to hear about who was ruining the economy this year (her), what people needed to ‘get over’ (human rights usually), and when she was going to make something of her life (get married).  It was exhausting and compared to the idea of curling up with Jareth watching Die Hard…well she knew which one she was choosing.

Jareth had begged off the Underground’s Yule festivities as they were normally held at the Winter Court and he and the Winter Queen weren’t currently on the best of terms.  They had briefly debated decking the hell out of the castle’s halls and doing a very medieval style Christmas, but Sarah wasn’t up to it this year. She liked their low-key traditions of board games, mulled wine, and listening to Christmas music together.  It always made her feel at home, and it was the part of the holidays she looked forward to the most.

“Would my beautiful, lovely, and generous girlfriend be willing to come in here a moment?” Jareth called from the living room.

“Sure but she isn’t helping you any,” Sarah said, laying out the Christmas cookies on a plate.

“Well then nevermind!” he yelled.  

“You’ve got another half an hour and then you’ll need to give up and come play Settlers of Catan.  Hoggle won’t play Risk with both of us anymore,” Sarah said, reminding him of what Hoggle colloquially referred to as “the most scarring experience of his life.”

But it was not as though there was a lot of fire and really, he’d gotten out of there long before the cops showed up.

A few months ago, during a rainy day, they’d decided to play a game of Risk.  Things went well…for about the first hour or so. Then alliances and double dealings happened and it all culminated in Jareth creating a playable dragon that truly, under no circumstance, needed to breathe fire.  So she’d countered by setting up landmines of pudding for his troops to fall into because of Jareth’s hatred of sticky things. The dragon stepped in the pudding and a goblin came and ate the dragon, because of said pudding.  At which point the dragon started breathing fire out of the goblin’s mouth, the goblin started freaking out running all over her apartment breathing fire, lighting other goblins on fire as it went, as she was running behind it dropping pudding on the fire because well, it was what she had handy, while Jareth tried to turn off the building’s sprinkler system.  They’d managed to get the goblins back through the mirror before the cops showed up, but not before they cleaned up all the pudding and scorch marks.

So no, Hoggle was not down to play Risk.  Sir Didymus was still on board though.

Sarah went into her bedroom to grab Jareth’s gift.  She’d spent a lot of time thinking about what to get him, they’d never really done a traditional Christmas gift exchange so this was her first experience trying to buy for the man who could have anything he wanted.  The influx of ads pushing whiskey stones and artisanal shaving kits were all wrong for Jareth. She’d debated getting him a nice new pair of leather gloves, but realized she’d be really put out if he thought to buy her underwear, and he had a whole drawer full of specially designed gloves.  The mall likely didn’t carry gloves that were designed for spell casting anyways. The idea had come to her one afternoon while cleaning out her drawers. She’d found some old notes from the Goblins and she realized just the thing for her Goblin King.

She hung out flipping through Jane Eyre in her bedroom, waiting for Jareth to finish with her gift.  Finally, when she got to the scene where Rochester and Jane confess their love, Jareth walked in, looking somewhat worse for wear.  His hair had gained several more pieces of scotch tape and for some reason he had a cut across his cheek.

“I’ve brought you a gift,” he said quietly, extending the package towards her.  

In the end, he’d wrapped it perfectly.  There was a beautifully tied ribbon, with a bow on top, and the wrapping job looked professionally done.  Sarah let out an impressive whistle.

“You know, I gotta say, much like a hotdog, the process to get it may not be pretty, but the end product sure is.  Damn, now I want a hotdog.”

“Your gift is not a hotdog,” he said brows knitting together in annoyance.  

“Shame,” Sarah said with a pout.  “Guess we’ll just have to go back to the cart in the woods.”

“What is that,” he said, trying to change the subject by pointing to the gift bag Sarah had at the foot of the bed.  

“Well that would be your gift,” she said, patting the space next to her for him to sit down.

“But…it’s in a bag?” He said confused.

“Yeah that’s my trick.  I suck at wrapping so I always just get a nice bag instead,” she said with a wink, giving him a quick peck on the tip of his nose.

“So putting me through the torture of hand wrapping your gift was for…?”  He said, helplessly.

“Fun.  Namely, mine,” she grinned.

“I will get you back for this,” he grumbled.  

“I’m sure you’ll get me back for it before the night is over,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes.  “Now open your gift!”

Jareth glared at her one more time before grabbing the gift bag.  Slowly and deliberately he removed every piece of tissue paper as Sarah watched expectantly.  Finally, he pulled out her gift at the bottom of the bag.

Knit together with golds, greys, browns and black was a long scarf.  At the bottom of each tail was the pattern of his sigil, just like the amulet he wore.  

“I’m not a great knitter,” Sarah said taking a breath.  “So I know it’s not perfect or anything. I tried to get the sigil right, and I had Ludo help me a bit to make it even.  I wanted something really long so you could wrap it around your neck a bunch of times since you’re forever wearing those low-cut shirts.  But I chose this gift because eight or so years ago, I made Sir Didymus a scarf. It wasn’t very well made, but I spent about a month trying to get it ready for Christmas.  I gave Hoggle some marmalade, and Ludo a game of marbles. I didn’t realize that these were the first Christmas gifts my friends had ever received. I didn’t realize that in knitting that scarf I’d find myself and my life totally co-opted by Goblins, and Goblin Kings alike.  That the act of making that scarf might have been more powerful than that first wish. That scarf is coming apart, and filled with holes and probably quite a few pudding stains by now. Sir Didymus still wears it proudly. I didn’t know then, what I know now. About you, about the Underground, or about … anything really.  But I can honestly say, there’s no place I’d rather be, and no one I’d rather be with. So it seems only right that your first Christmas gift should be a scarf as well, since it was what brought you home to me. Merry Christmas Jareth, and I do love you very much.”

“Oh I do wish you hadn’t,” Jareth said, flopping backwards onto her bedspread. 

“Oh...why?” Sarah said, feeling her heart start to sink.

Jareth leaned forward, propping himself up on his elbow. “Because your gift is perfect Sarah.  It so far surpasses my gift that despite spending the better part of today attempting to wrap it, I’m not sure I want you to open it.”

“To be honest, half the gift was definitely watching you war with the wrapping paper,” Sarah said, grabbing Jareth’s gift to her.  

“I just want to take the opportunity to remind you that I once turned the Bog into your fondest ice skating dreams,” he said as she began to tear into the paper.

“I don’t have any ice skating dreams I can’t skate,” she said, not looking up from the box.

Sarah removed the gift from the plain brown box he’d placed it in.  Inside to her complete surprise, she found a new DVD player and every John Hughes movie Sarah could name.  She looked up at her very nervous looking Goblin King and bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“You...replaced my DVD player?  And got me The Breakfast Club?”

“If you’d allow me a few moments I’m sure I can provide something suitably magical,” he said quickly.  “Something that does not involve wrapping paper.”

“What after you conquered it?  Absolutely not!” She said clutching the DVDs to her chest.  “These are mine and I love them Jareth. Love them. Between this and the war on Christmas wrapping you staged, I honestly am … really charmed.”

“You are forever complaining about how I damaged your original device, I thought it a suitable gift to replace it for you even though I had nothing to do with the initial...malfunction,” he said, and Sarah saw the tenseness leave his shoulders.  

“Jareth, I think you may have sent that DVD player back in time.  It oozed noxious purple goop for a few minutes, lit off some more truly foul smelling purple smoke - seriously I don’t even think the bog smells that bad, and then poof!  Gone! Where did it go Jareth? Where did the DVD player and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off go?!”

“If I knew that I simply would have retrieved the old machine,” he grumbled.  “I replaced the film, along with several others by the same filmmaker. I was told he’s a favourite of yours.”

“You were told by me, many times, because I love John Hughes movies.  But that kinda proves my point about why I like it. Actually no, why I love it.  It’s thoughtful Jareth. I love it when you think about me. I love it even more when you think about me, and what I like, what I don’t like.  You even remembered not to include St. Elmo’s Fire because of my inability to watch a Demi Moore movie without getting unreasonably angry.”

“Because she reminds you of your mother,” he nodded.  “I remember.”

“Yeah...yeah that’s why I love it Jareth,” she said, giving him a smile.  “It’s a wonderfully human gift. It’s perfect. Or maybe imperfectly perfect.  Which makes it human, which makes it perfect.”

She leaned over and gave him a kiss and he took the opportunity to pull her down.  She snuggled up next to him, facing Jareth and her window, watching the snow lightly fall on her fire escape while he laid soft kisses on her cheeks and temples.

“Merry Christmas Sarah, I also love you very much.”

“Seem like that’s our lot in life, to love each other very much,” she sighed happily, nestling closer.  “I guess it’ll have to do.”

“Yes, I guess it will,” he said smiling.  “But I think I hear our friends arriving.”

“Mmm the Christmas cookies will keep them busy for a while,” she said, snuggling further into the crook of his neck.  

“Not busy enough for all the ways I’ll be celebrating with you tonight.”  

“Okay,” she said rolling over.  “First we settle, then we Catan, then we bang.  Deal?”

“An acceptable bargain,” he said offering his hand.  

She took it, giving it a firm shake, and they nodded at each other seriously, before Sarah started laughing.  

“Come on, grab the game and I’ll put on Christmas Vacation with my shiny, new, non-time travelling DVD player.”

“I’ll grab the board game.  Pour me a glass of mulled wine love,” he said giving her a quick peck before leaping off the bed.

“My lady?  Sire?” Sir Didymus called from the kitchen.  

“They’s in the bedroom bein’ gross,” Hoggle replied sourly.

“We’re just grabbing the board game!” Sarah shouted at him.

“Whatever yous say.” Hoggle muttered.

“Come on Rocket Man, Christmas awaits,” Sarah said, grabbing her new DVD player.

“As long as you don’t ask me to wrap anything else, I’m right behind you.  I think this is going to be an excellent year.” he replied.

The DVD player, unfortunately, was toast before the new year.

#fanfiction #my ownsome #apartmentverse #labyrinth #labyrinth has ruined me #I wrote this on Christmas Eve and literally published it at 11pm #and then promptly forgot to post it anywhere else #I had been waffling about whether to do a Christmas fic this year #also somewhere in the middle of 17th century France #a DVD player has appeared in the court of King Louis XIV. #Sarah and Jareth's desire to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off may or may not have played a role in the French Revolution #it's hard to know

[jennycalendar]

Always here for Giles/Jenny romance tbh. Like I said, I've hyperfocused on Giles so all my thoughts revolve around him so I'm always happy to have Jenny thrown back at me in response! Now of course, since Edna's shown up, her sisters must follow; enter Lavinia and Sophronia Fairweather, eternally young and hilariously vain. And Ripper's response is to throw his head back and groan dramatically because oh my god. Not my great aunts. Not here. Why. But truthfully they visit solely to see how 1/7

he is because wow his dad is pissed but Edna’s been rather cheerful? Which honestly they had to see what that was about, barely anything can cause those two to fall out, and goodness Ripper look at you! So tall and handsome and responsible! Such lovely taste in subtle punk fashion! But they can’t believe he’s still got that goddamn Citroën, the only thing that consistently works in that car is the radio and he refuses to change it from Planet Rock. Now, as revealed in the Angel&Faith comics 2/7

Vin and Sophie do feel responsible for getting their great nephew shoved into the academy so young since they caused the situation in which he first manifested his magic in front of his father and Gran. So seeing him not only breaking away from that in a halfway healthy manner but with Edna’s approval? They’re thrilled. They also tease and coddle him, which makes the rest of the Scoobies laugh but kinda uncomfortable at the same time, but for all of Ripper’s blustering he does love his aunts 3/7

(don’t you dare tell them) and he does appreciate their concern and their pride but can they please just stop by for an afternoon instead of a week? He can only handle them in small bursts. Also RIPPER’S BAND. Now I can handle Sunnydale being their last tour spot, a smaller thing to wind down as it ends, and while I can certainly see them nopeing straight outta town I also kinda want to keep them? We only saw them briefly in a few panels of the comic but they had such a great dynamic 4/7

with the drummer guy calling Ripper on his half-arsed performance, the bass lady giving him this fond-amused look when he’s horrified to see his unimpressed Gran after assuming it was a groupie, and though the other guitarist laughs along with the drummer about Ripper having a posh Gran he’s also sheepishly apologetic afterwards and they all leave so he can talk with her. I wanna see these guys stick around and be the friends Ripper’s own age he lacks in canon. Maybe they come back after 5/7

(understandably) getting out of there? Because they’re a good band but they know they’re not as good without Ripper and dammit they miss the bastard. Not to mention the fans are super distressed. They do a livestream to show said fans that Ripper’s fine he’s just adopted several kids in fucking Halloween Town ffs man. And they tease and snark at him but he’s comfortable snarking back and it’s this nice easy thing even before various Sunnydale occurences forge stronger bonds 6/7

And actually they do notice that Ripper seems way better than he has been in general? And they do a few more song recordings for youtube and hey look he’s bringing his A game again! And they’re all British too so he’s not the only one and it’s just good because friendship is. So good. If only the cute bassist lady would stop flirting with his maybe-sorta-girlfriend-i-guess, that’d the great. 7/7

there are SO MANY THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THIS so here i shall throw some concepts back at u

1) jenny and buffy immediately interrogate ripper’s aunts for embarrassing childhood stories, bc they’re much easier marks than ripper’s grandmother or his dad (they think everything they’re telling is So Cute and So Sweet). buffy writes them all down. ripper is hiding his face in his hands. jenny genuinely thinks the stories are sweet but tries her best to pretend that she’s making fun of ripper bc. u know. wouldn’t want to look Soft

2) cordelia immediately starts trying to get herself into ripper’s good graces so she’ll let him sing with the band, because they’ve got a bunch of views on youtube and she’s always wanted to be an online personality and she definitely has the looks for it so please ripper please ripper please ripper????? this thankfully ends after she sees one of their performances and decides that they don’t have the right Style for her to make her online debut with them. ripper has never been more grateful for cordelia’s concepts of sophistication

3) the band loves buffy. she tags along with ripper to practice and asks lots of questions and they think her puns are amazing. their music isn’t actually her cup of tea but she really really loves seeing ripper in what she calls his “natural habitat” (read: she really loves seeing ripper genuinely happy & with friends his own age) so she hangs out in the back and does homework with willow.

4) ripper kinda does write a soft acoustic love song about jenny. even tho it’s not directly stated that it’s jenny, the word “techno-witch” is used more than once and there’s a whole verse about big dark eyes. someone in the band finds it in his music folder, tucked under the song he’d been meaning to show them. they all collectively think it’s a really kickass song, somehow convince ripper to play it at one of their gigs, and the scoobies tease ripper MERCILESSLY. xander buys the band’s album on itunes and plays the song whenever jenny walks into a room for, like, weeks. ripper very much regrets writing the song about jenny until he starts noticing how she looks all happy every time she hears it and um. that’s Significant.

5) xander doesn’t Get ripper’s band but they give him a free t-shirt and he wears it around a lot bc he likes looking like he knows what the hip, happening new music is. buffy points out that calling music “hip and happening” isn’t really going to win him many points. xander ignores this.

#asks #headc(anon) #ripper au #this is....as always.......so so so cute i love it so much #Anonymous

[neikarasu]

Everything Counts

Commission info here.

A commission for the lovely @captainxcorgi.

Read on Ao3.

Summary: When Hana Song was sent to summer camp, she thought something coming straight out of Friday the 13th would be the only thing that could make her time less dull.When Jack Morrison was sent to Camp Overwatch, he thought all he would find there was headaches and annoyance.Both were proven wrong, and Ana Amari might or might not have a hand in orchestrating this. Especially on the latter's case. And Gabriel Reyes might or might not be pleased with this whole ordeal.

Summer. The most wonderful time of the year, when students were rid of school work and free of all responsibility. It was a time to celebrate, either having an elaborate plan for the entire holiday or just being stupid with friends. Pool parties in the sun, endless gaming sessions every day and never, ever had to be confined in a boring area where one had to study.

               Summer was simply glorious.

               But apparently not glorious enough for Hana Song’s parents.

                            So what? She failed one history test. One! That didn’t mean she deserved to be stuffed into a random forest somewhere, cut off from friends and civilisation!!! Well, in truth, she hadn’t done any research about the place, yet, but what else should Hana be expecting? It would be packed with eggheads. If not, then bugs and no cell service!

                 …Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just one test. Maybe Hana skipped a month worth of homework too so she could enter this kickass StarCraft tournament. The first prize was worth being yelled at and grounded at the time. Never in her wildest dreams would Hana imagine her parents sending her to a summer camp though! Had they any regard for her extensive plans?!

                 At least her friends were being supportive. Even though they had already been notified as soon as Hana herself knew, she still appreciated the reactions in the group chat. From solemn salutes to outraged rants, even the teasing eased Hana somewhat. They were trying, and she soon found herself distracted by silly conversations. At least it made the car ride more bearable, especially with her mom’s stiff back and her dad’s uncharacteristic silence. Considering the explosive fights the family got into for the last couple of weeks, it was pretty self-explanatory. Hana was sure neither party was proud of what they said, but that didn’t curb her anger at all.

                 Camp Overwatch didn’t come into view until afternoon. The name caught Hana’s attention immediately, as it didn’t have the same hippie vibe she had mentally associated it with. The second, eyebrow-raising detail would be the gate. Uneven, dark stones stacked up together, looming over visitors in a medieval-themed construct, torches and all. Quite impressive, if not a bit cliché. Still, it was in the middle of nowhere, and Hana was more concerned about her waning signal than watching the greenery passing outside the window.

                 Gravel crunched under slowing tires, announcing Hana’s impending doom. Sullenly, she threw on her backpack and hauled her suitcase off, not waiting for her parents. If she was going to go out today, then she would go out with her head held high, thank you very much!

 Her bravado didn’t last long.

                 Amidst the circle of trees, two canvas tents sat at each other’s opposite. There was a lodge across the sparse wooden bridge by the river, and a primitive watchtower stood next to it. A generous patch of land was fenced off, empty except for a pile of logs. There was a hiking trail leading up to the mountains, but other than that, there was nothing worthy of note.

                 There was no power generator, no campus for them to sleep in.

                 Oh fuck, what if they didn’t have a functioning plumbing system?!?!?!

                 A loud, commanding voice snapped her out of the miserable thoughts. Towering above the group was probably the most attractive camp leader Hana had ever seen. Not that she had seen a lot, but still...Curiosity perked, she joined the others loitering about. In contrary to the supposed theme of the camp, this guy was wearing black sleeveless T-shirt and fatigues, topped with a beat-up beanie. His beard was trimmed in a way that made it look both unkempt and styled, and the afternoon light made his scars shine, standing out against his dark skin.

                 “Alright! Gather up!”

                 They shuffled closer, not in any particular order. There wasn’t many around, Hana noticed. Twenty, including herself and not the hovering parents, at most. The camp leader did a head count, checked his tablet (A tablet! Maybe they had electricity after all!!!) and nodded at a woman standing behind him.

 Damn, did this camp only hire supermodels?

 The lady was an exceptional beauty, with long, fluttering black tresses that seemed to go on forever. She was lean and angular, a sharp contrast against the man’s rolling slabs of muscles, and had a perpetual, knowing quirk to her lips.

                 The camp leader’s chatters with the parents only further soured Hana’s mood. Stubbornly, she didn’t turn around, not even when everyone else said their goodbyes, not even when her dad came over to give her a squeeze on the shoulder, or when her mom tried to make her look at them. Deep down, Hana knew she was being childish, and her fists balled up so tightly around her backpack straps they popped.

 It was a terrible feeling, and it sucked.

                 She might have made mistakes, but this was extreme of them, keeping her away in such a stupidly isolated place for months. It was unfair, and Hana refused to give in, even when her dad sighed and mom shook her head.

                 “You’ll like it here, you’ll see.” Mom said, lacking her usual firmness, “Bye, honey. Remember to call when you can.”

                 Stone dropped down her guts, but she was too stubborn to respond, even when they walked away.

                 Thankfully, the camp leader’s voice rang out once more, saving her from sinking further into a grave of negativity.

                 “Hello and welcome to Camp Overwatch. My name is Gabriel and I’m your camp leader. This is Ana, your other camp leader.” The lady did a two finger salute, making a tall girl standing beside Hana chuckle, “For those of you that have been here before, welcome back. And the newbies…well. We hope you’ll survive.”

                 Gabriel gave a sharp leer overhead, making some the kids eye each other worriedly. The girl next to Hana, however, tried hard to stifle a giggle, while a boy (long-haired with incredibly fair complexion) beside her rolled his eyes. Hana’s interest perked a bit further.

                 “Anyhow, I’m going to go over camp rules, because you little stinkers aren’t out here to read, and I ain’t gonna make ya.” Somebody whopped loudly in their little crowd, “Thought so. Right. Some of this might sound off, but you’ll understand better once we go through camp’s programme. Rule number one: You cannot and will not steal personal belongings. They are off-limit. Rule number two: Accidents happen. That isn’t to say you should be a wimp about it or going out of your way to injure somebody else.”

                 By now, Hana’s eyebrows almost touched her hairline. What kind of camp had they sent her to?

                 Gabriel was just getting the third rule out (no asking for outside help under any circumstance unless it was an absolute emergency) when a sparkling clean, blue Fiesta pulled up near them. Instead of pausing to wait, Gabriel barrelled on as if nothing happened, though there was a faint smirk quirking up his lips.

 Intrigued, Hana turned, expecting another kid to join their bunch.

                 Would this place ever run out of hot, young adults? Because the driver could have stepped straight out of a magazine cover and Hana wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. Glimmering golden hair, eyes bluer than the sky and that bod. Yum! A camo duffle bag slung over his broad shoulder, and the blond dreamboat strode purposefully towards the group, clearing his throat.

 To Hana’s surprise, Gabriel blatantly ignored the newcomer, though his smirk did widen. This seemed to immediately annoy the blonde, but he stood a respectful distance away instead of forcing his way over, foot tapping impatiently.

                 This was getting interesting…

                 “We are going to split you into two teams.” Gabriel continued, “These two teams are going to represent two opposing kingdoms, going to war. This “war” is a series of competitions and activities. The winner of each activity will be awarded a point for their kingdom. Whichever team earns the most points within camp duration will win this “war”. Points are awarded or taken away based on the size of your hoards, how well you managed among yourselves, how many battles you win, and how clever your tactics are. As you can see.”

                 He pointed with both hands, each at one of the canvas tents, “We have two separate sides of camp. These two sides can be built and redecorated accordingly to your team’s taste and defence. You may find basic equipment and supplies in those tents and in the ranch back there.”

                 “There will be further supplies provided, such as food and tools, but you will had to go through challenges to acquire these. The “kingdoms” may also forage from the forest and mountains. Under supervision, of course. They will also be converted to points by the end of camp.”

                 “You are encouraged to build forts, walls and traps around your side of the camp, as the opposing team is allowed to pilfer from your hoards and attack your side.”

                 A few stink eyes were already been thrown around. The rules made much more sense now. With how competitive this theme was, there would undoubtedly some minor injuries and accidents.

                 “Of course, it’s not a war without epic battles, so we will definitely have battle game right here.”

                 The kids cheered loudly. Hana found herself hollering with them, grinning from ear-to-ear and her earlier resentment forgotten. This was going to actually be fun! And Gabriel wasn’t even done yet.

                 “Your camp leaders, I and Ana, will be acting as supervisors to the “throne”. For each kingdom, your king or queen will be voted among yourselves. They will be your leader, who has the final say. However, throughout camp’s duration, if said king or queen is seen unfit to “rule” anymore, the kingdom can overthrow and assume a new leader.”

                 “In the last week of camp, starting on July 20th, a series of competition will take place. This includes a jousting tournament, armour crafting, poetry weaving, archery tournament, and etcetera. Think mini Renaissance fair, if you may. During this last week, there will be a copious amount of points given out, so even if you did terrible throughout the two months, your kingdom would still have a chance to catch up.”

                 “And, of course, there’s no winning if there isn’t a prize. The winner of the two kingdoms may decide whichever prize they desire, from both the losing kingdom and the camp itself. This is, of course, restricted by budget and common sense.”

                 Gabriel grinned at the kids, “Any question?”

                 By now, everyone was practically buzzing with excitement and anticipation. Well, except for one.

                 “Mr. Reyes, I need a word with you.”

                 Apparently, Blonde Guy had decided that he had enough of Gabriel ignoring him. Blue eyes were both challenging and defensive when the camp leader threw him a teasing smirk.

                 “Now, now, Jack. I asked for questions, not commands. But if that’s how you like it, I’m sure I can arrange something in the office. After I’ve dealt with the kids, of course.”

                 Hana’s eyebrows shot up once again, and she couldn’t help but let the giggles escape. Unfazed by the taunt, Jack narrowed his eyes.

                 “You know full well that it is because of the kids that I am here.”

                 Gabriel gave him a shrug, both nonchalant and ignorant, “If this is about that one complaint, then I don’t have time for it.”

                 “Actually, there are three now. Which forces us to take actions.” Jack produced folder from his jacket, waving it at Gabriel’s face, “There has been complaints from parents about injuries, and that the camp’s methods are not safe for the children. Thus I am-…”

                 “Oh. Wow.” Gabriel cut in, his stare dragged from the folder to Jack’s face, unimpressed, “A whole three complaints. I’m shivering in my boots. Should I be packing my things? Close down the camp?”

                 Jack bristled, but he was, at least, tried to stay polite, “Nobody is closing down your camp, Gabriel! At least not yet. Which is why I’m here, if you’d just let me finish.”

                 “There is nothing to finish.” A sharp edge rolled under the lazy drawls of Gabriel’s voice, signalling the end of his patience, “From what I’ve seen, you’re the only one at the office to bring up this stupidity. I’m flattered, really, but I ain’t gonna change anything here just because some whiny kids couldn’t stand a few scrapes.”

                 “A few scrapes-!” Jack was at the brink of shouting at Gabriel, but managed to catch himself, even when his glare was blazing, “Sprained ankles and broken fingers aren’t scrapes!”

                 “Uh, hello?” There was a sneer in Gabriel’s voice now. He made a grand, mocking gesture, “We’re out in the woods. They go hiking, foraging and competing. Among other activities. All of which listed on the programme. With the risks. That the parents had to sign. Ain’t my fault neither you nor they can’t read.”

                 This time, Jack forwent all manners, hissing, “Maybe if you weren’t being such a jerk about it then there wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place!”

                 “The only problem here is you! Again, you have been the only one that’s been giving me crap! If you have that big of an issue, then go talk to your superior. I’m sure he can find something useful for you to do.”

                  The forgotten file crumpled in his fist, the inspector snapped at Gabriel, “Too bad! Reinhardt has assigned me here to investigate and prevent further accidents from happening! I. Am. Staying!”

                 For the first time, it seemed like Gabriel was at loss of what to say, and looked like he was going to punch Jack in the face. Everyone was gawking at the two of them, eyes following the two back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

                 “You-!” Gabriel started, fists curled dangerously.

                 “Alright. Settle down, boys!”

                 Thankfully, Ana stepped in between them before the two men came to blows. She was exasperated, like she was having to deal with two screaming toddles instead of two grown-ass adults.

                 “How about this, since Jack’s already here, instead of me managing one side of the camp as usual, we’ll get him to. That way, Jack can both supervise our activity and come up with possible ideas to make this place run better.”

                 Oh, this wasn’t just interesting anymore, this was way more entertaining than anything Hana could have been doing at home right now. Not only had the camp flown pass her poor expectation by half the planet, but this juicy, juicy drama was just to die for.

                 Jack recoiled, eyes wide, “What?! Ana, that’s absurd! I’ve never run a camp before, it’d be much more dangerous than it already is! I’m only supposed to be taking notes and giving advice!”

                 Obligatorily, the kids turned to Gabriel, expecting the man to explode at this suggestion. However, the camp leader was wearing a thoughtful expression that soon turned sly. Jack took an instinctive step back.

                 “What? Scared now?” Gabriel smirked, his dark eyes gleamed devilishly, “So much for Mister Jack I-know-how-to-run-this-place-better Morrison.”

                 Jack went a little purple, “You’re being juvenile!”

                 Palms up, Gabriel gave him the cheekiest, smuggest shrug Hana had ever seen in her life, “Hey, I’m not the one barging in on someone else’s business and insisting that I know better.”

                 Sighing, and giving Gabriel a disapproving scowl, Ana then turned to Jack with an encouraging smile, “You’re going to be stuck here for two months anyway. The way I see it, both of you want to prove the other wrong, and this, other than just an activity, is also a competition. What better way to settle it? Besides, I’m going to be right here to help you.”

                 Darting his stare between Ana and Gabriel, Jack was trapped. Desperately, he smoothed out his file, looking lost. And Hana was sure the kids weren’t helping with their excited chatter either, telling Jack to just go with it.

                 “It’ll be fun!” A boy, not much older than Hana, with bright green hair grinned at Jack, whilst another kid in a cowboy hat nodded enthusiastically.

                 “It’s like y’all be havin’ your own competition!”

               “You gotta show ‘im what you’ve got!” Hana chimed in, getting bolder as well. Though, secretly, she kinda wanted to be assigned to Gabriel. Even though he was kinda rude, the guy seemed to know how to have fun.

                 The tips of Jack’s ears were turning red and, for a moment there, he was the definition of a lost puppy, looking at the faces around him helplessly. But his eyes hardened the second they met Gabriel’s, arrogant and challenging.

                 “Fine.”

                 The camp leader gave Jack a shark-like grin, “Perfect.”

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                 Jack regretted his decision almost immediately. Why was he so foolishly goaded into this situation???

                 At first, everything was alright. They split the kids into two groups of ten, picked randomly, under Jack and Gabriel’s charges. It only took a few minutes to get through with their names, and Jack dutifully noted them all down. There was Hana, the petite Korean girl with a fiery attitude. Cheery Lena with her oversized shades. Lucio with his beloved skates and a grin brighter than the sun. Bright-eyed Efi and her quick laughter. Freckled and gentle Emily. Aloof and proper Hanzo. Mild-mannered but firm Angela. Fareeha, commanding and decisive just like her mother Ana. Shy, soft-spoken and polite Mei. But what surprised him the most was Brigitte, his boss’ niece.

 Jack couldn’t believe Reinhardt would let her attend this camp, especially with the feedback they had gotten. Perhaps the man didn’t know? Maybe Jack should give him a call whenever he could. Maybe this was just a confusion.

                 Jack Morrison quickly learned that this was the least of his problem.

                 Reyes’ team consisted of ten other kids, Satya, Mako, Zarya, Gerard, Liao, Amelie, Sombra, Jesse, Genji and Jamison. All of them seemed unruly and…unique at first glance. Jack had been sure Reyes would have a hard time rounding them up and getting them to behave.

                 He didn’t expect them to fall in line before Gabriel like little soldiers, young faces scrunched up in utter concentration, and agreed upon a leader within fifteen minutes: Satya. As soon as her name was announced, the prim, crisp girl led her team back to their side of the camp and, without a beat, started assigning roles for everyone else. The kids fell into their duties, efficiently even though there were more than a few complaints from Jamison.

                 They play to win, Jack realised, and as he scrambled to gather his thoughts, loud arguments from his team snapped the blond back to the task at hand.

                 “Why should you be the leader?” Hana gave Hanzo a one-over, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. The boy obviously took offense to this, lifting his chin up haughtily and peering down at her over his nose.

                 “Because I’ve been here for many years and obviously know what to do? Unlike you, newb.”

                 “Excuse you! Nobody calls me a newb!” Hana stomped her feet, glaring, “But I don’t think you’d know better. This is a camp, not a beauty pageant, princess!”

                 Hanzo looked like he was ready to murder Hana at the spot, when Brigitte thankfully interfered,”Hanzo’s been here every year for the last five years, he knows what he’s talking about.” A pause, then, “But to be fair, Hanz, the last time you led, we lost, pitifully.”

                 “I told you to stop calling me that!!”

                 “Why can’t I be the leader then? I’ve been here before and everybody likes me.” Lena flashed them a winning grin.

                 Fareeha rolled her eyes, “But that’s just it, Lena. You’re nice to everyone, even when they are the enemy. That isn’t exactly the greatest thing.”

                 “Hey!”

                 “Guys! Calm down!” Angela’s attempt to stop the argument fell on deaf ears. She threw her hands in the air, exasperated, “Why does it have to be like this every single year???”

 Wide-eyed, Mei asked, amidst all the bickering, “It is?”

 “Yeah. It’s usually even worse when Satya and Hanzo are on the same team.”

                 Jack felt a headache coming. Taking a deep breath, he tried to gather their attention by clapping loudly. It worked, as most of the kids looked his way, but Hana and Hanzo were still too busy shouting at each other’s face to care. Frowning, Jack separated the two by the shoulder.

                 “Now, now, there is no need for fighting. I’m sure we can settle this fair and square.”

                 “I am not the one who’s been acting like an uncivilised beast.” Hanzo seethed. Hana bristled.

                 “Who are you calling-“

                 “Enough.” Ana’s firm voice cut in, effectively ended anything else anyone could have said. Hands on her hips, the camp leader stared the kids down, “You are not going to win by yelling and calling names. Look at them.” Gestured towards Gabriel’s side, “While you are busy fighting, they have already been building.”

                 Even though they were just snapping at each other, both Hana and Hanzo wore almost the same expression as they followed Ana’s pointing finger. It was comical how they both visibly deflated, before determination set in their eyes.

                 Jack gave Ana a grateful nod, “Alright, let’s get this started, shall we?”

                 It wasn’t too bad when they had all agreed that they wanted to beat the other team more than yelling at each other, though Hana and Hanzo came pretty close a couple more times as they discussed who should be their leader. In the end, it was Angela who nobody could find anything to whine about.

 Satya’s team split into four smaller groups, each building a tent surrounding the main structure. They had also drawn a perimeter around their camp to build barricade later. Meanwhile, Angela had her team expand the initial tent. She planned to have them build a makeshift wall and barricade surrounding the place after the centre was done. After all roles were sorted out and agreed upon, thanks to Angela, the work moved along smoothly.

 Jack, being the good man he was, wanted to lend a hand. However, he suddenly remembered something and almost blushed to death when his corgi, stubby and full of pent-up energy, fell face-first out of his car when he went to let her out. Undeterred, Corgnelius bounced up on her chubby feet, and wagged her butt in all her doggy excitement upon being set free. This prompted a whole cooing and petting session from Jack’s team. Corgni, shameless little thing, soaked up the attention like a sponge, pink tongue lolling out happily.

                 “There isn’t anyone that could look after her while I’m gone, so I decided to take her with me.” Jack explained to an amused Ana, still pink around the edges.

                 He completely missed the stare Gabriel was throwing at his direction.

                 With that bit of delight out of the way, it was time for the next event of the day.

                 While renovating their tents, the kids soon found clues hidden within the pile of supplies. To maintain the integrity of the game, the camp leaders, Jack included, had to go to the watch tower.

                 “Normally, we are allowed to give them extra clues when they are stuck, but since you weren’t briefed, we’d lay that off for now.” Ana explained, showing Jack camp’s layouts and where they had hidden the hoards.

                 “Has there ever been any team who didn’t get any of the hoards?” Worried, Jack skimmed through the three positions, each cleverly concealed within the mountain’s foot.

                 “Only happened once. We specifically placed the hoards so that each team would at least be able to grab one for themselves.” Ana tapped on the touch screen, enlarging each area to show Jack, “Two hoards are always placed so each respective team has the upper hand in getting there first. The third one is always somewhere in the middle. Each is marked by a flag, and upon collection, will be brought to the camp leader so the supplies will be distributed. Of course, being the first treasure hunt, it is easy enough to ensure everyone has enough supplies. Even if they fail, there is plenty of food at the lodge. Do you really think I’d let my kids starve?”

                 Bashful under Ana’s sternness, Jack rubbed the back of his head, chuckling, “Of course not. But you know, I am here to ask questions.”

                 It was a lame response, but Jack was nervous. Not only he worried about the kids’ safety, roaming around the place unchecked (well, not entirely, since the leaders could oversee them from here), but also he was worried about how his team fared. Jack hoped they wouldn’t get into any more trouble.

                 Plus, Gabriel’s odd quietness peeved Jack just a little.

                 Of all his years working as a Health and Safety inspector, Jack had never seen anyone quite like Gabriel. The man’s methods were unorthodox to say the least, and while even Jack couldn’t deny that Gabriel did care about the kids in his own way, it was Gabriel’s attitudes that irked Jack. Reyes was cocky, had little regards of regulations and rules, and he knew exactly how to get under everyone’s skin.

                 Especially Jack’s.

                 The blonde had no idea why, but ever since they first met, Gabriel went out of his ways to rile Jack up. They didn’t cross paths often, but every time they did, Jack’s impression of Gabriel worsened. Jack had no idea how anyone could stand the guy, certainly not level-headed Ana. Mouthy and arrogant, Gabriel Reyes acted like he owned the world, and Jack felt sympathy towards Ana, having to deal with the man’s bullshit.

                 Of course, his stupid dog had to disagree. While Jack was busy with his inner monologue, Corgni decided to get all chummy with Reyes. Tongue-lolling and butt-wagging, she circled the camp leader, vying for his attention at every turn.

                 Traitor.

                 “Did you say something?”

                 He threw a sheepish grin at Ana’s quirked eyebrow, “I mean, the trails. Yes, the trails, do you place any obstacle or anything on the trails?” Smooth.

                 “No, we don’t do that here.” Ana’s tone was slightly sceptical, “But the kids are allowed to.”

                 That broke Jack out of his flustering, “What???”

                 “It’s nothing extreme, of course, but the kids are allowed to put traps along the trails to slow the enemy team.”

                 “But that’s dangerous!”

                 “Oh please, you act like our kids are a bunch of rampaging, murderous gremlins.” Finally, Gabriel looked away from the binoculars, drawling sarcastically, “The worst they do is tripping someone over.”

                 “Tripping over in a mountainous terrain can result in many serious injuries!” Jack glared.

                 “They can just easily slip and break their neck walking around on the streets. With your logic, they should all be swaddled up in fluffy blankets and stowed away in a padded room somewhere.”

                 Jack was aghast with the description, but Gabriel cut in before he could form a retort, “Aren’t you supposed to be watching the kids instead of entertaining me?”

                 Not for the first time, he really wanted to punch that smug smirk off of Reyes’ face. Ultimately, Jack decided against it and glared through his own pair of binoculars.

                 Before he left his team, they had decided to have Mei, Lena and Lucio going after the treasures. On Gabriel’s side, the treasure hunters were Sombra, Genji and Amelie.

                 Jack’s team split up into two, with Lena and Lucio rushed off while Mei hiked towards a different direction. A quick look at the map told him that the two athletic kids were heading for the middle point, while Mei was going to the one closest to their camp. Solid strategy. That way, they would have a chance to attain two hoards and, worst case scenario, secure one.

                 Unlike them, Genji, Amelie and Sombra all split off to three different directions. They wanted all three, Jack realised, though he was surprised to see Genji, the quickest, heading towards the closest one to their side of camp. Still, it was a smart strategy and sure enough, within fifteen minutes, Genji had already plucked the flag triumphantly.

                 The competition got a bit intense then, and Jack found himself inwardly cheering for his team. Despite her lithe form, Amelie was fearsome, sprinting through the trees and vaulting herself around at a blurring speed. She was not as fast as either Lucio or Lena, but damn was she agile. Judging by the distance between the competitors and the hoard, it was difficult to tell who would be reach it first.

                 Jack couldn’t help it. He let out a small whoop when Lena skidded and snatched the flag right out of Amelie’s grasp. Ignoring Gabriel’s shit-eating grin, Jack turned to Ana, “Has there been any situation where they got into a scuffle over the flag?”

                 “There has been and probably will happen again, but that’s why we are here. That counts as a rule violation and points will be deducted heavily if they do so.”

                 Reassured, Jack got back to the game. Mei was nearing the final flag, a dozen feet away at most. However, Sombra was nowhere in sight, and that worried Jack a little. Mei was so close, it would be a matter of seconds before…

                 Suddenly, she stopped, frantically looking around. At this distance, it didn’t look like there was something wrong. Jack’s stomach dropped. Mei must have seen, or heard, something that he couldn’t. Judging by the way she was acting, she was terrified.

                 That one moment of hesitation was all Sombra needed. A streak of purple zipped pass Mei, snatching the flag up before the stunned girl. The way Mei’s lips trembled had Jack stomping his feet.

                 “That isn’t fair! Mei was there first!”

                 Gabriel was amused at Jack’s accusing finger, “Yeah, but she didn’t grab the flag first, did she? All is fair.”

                 Unable to spit out something coherent and not a salty insult, Jack turned on his heels, ignoring Ana’s loud announcement over the megaphone, “Corgni! We’re out of here!”

                 His exit would have been a lot stronger without his dog’s bouncing steps and jingling collar. That and Gabriel’s snorting.

                 Upon returning, Jack’s righteous fury evaporated. Even though nobody was vocal about it, they were dejected. Obviously, Mei was the most downtrodden, her glasses foggy and her lips raw from biting back the tears. Angela was by her side, whispering quiet reassurances, but that seemed to do little good.

                  “Come now, cheer up guys. It’s only one point less and it’s only the first day. There are plenty of chances to earn it back!” Jack put on his sunniest smile, hoping to pull them pass this early defeat.

                 “Yeah, well, we could have had it if she wasn’t so slow.”

                 “Hanzo!”

                 He scowled, but didn’t retort. Everyone else went a little quieter, uneasy of Angela’s harsh tone. The lithe girl was always light and airy, pleasant like a summer breeze, so her anger was somewhat scary. Composing herself, Angela sighed.

                 “Sombra has always been a bit of a bully.” She ignored Lena’s snort, “She used a sound file to scare Mei. That was bad planning on my part. I should have known they would have her skulking around.”

                 “Well, pointing fingers and sulking isn’t going to help us win.” Fareeha said, and Jack could see Ana’s sternness reflecting in her, “Jack’s right, this is nothing. We can easily win back, if only we’d just stop being dicks about it.”

                 “Fareeha!” Jack exclaimed, scandalised, “Language!”

                 She blinked up at him, a faint blush dusting the peaks of her cheekbones. The camp went silent and, almost at the same time, burst out laughing. It was contagious, and Jack found himself a lot less miffed.

                 Night fell when the tent was erected. To try and lighten the mood further, Jack taught them how to build the most badass campfire ever, roaring and dancing at the centre of their circle. Between the smores, smoking hot dogs and the kids tossing random twigs into the fire, the afternoon’s misadventure almost didn’t exist. It hit Jack with a wave of nostalgia, and he smiled, remembering himself and faces not much younger than these.

                 “So…I take that your first day here isn’t as bad as you thought?”

                 He blinked at Lena, who had inched over with a grin that made her freckles bunched up adorably. A chuckle drew out of Jack, and he patted her head, “No, not really.”

                 Lena beams got brighter. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and for a second there, Jack thought she was going to say something cheeky, but the pixie thirteen-year-old opted to ask instead.

                 “Where did you learn to do all the camping stuff?”

                 “I used to live on a farm. And I was a Boy Scout when I was a kid.”

                 Fareeha, crouching by Corgni and giving her the most glorious belly rub, to look up and give Jack something akin to a leer, “So that’s why Uncle Gabi calls you boy scout.”

                 “I…think it’s just a form of name-calling. You know, when someone gives another person names just to be mean.” Jack frowned, trying not to fume.

 Fareeha and Lena exchanged a glance. This turn of conversation had also drawn his entire team’s attention. It made Jack feel…awkward.

                 “You know, boys only give people names when they liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike somebody.” Lena sang, earning a few giggles from the girls.

                 Jack’s eyebrows shot up, “I don’t know what gives you that silly idea. He and I are not kindergarteners. Plus I assure you, Mr. Reyes doesn’t have a high opinion about myself, considering how much of a…nuisance I have been to him, as he has adequately let me know.”

                 The camp went into a scrutinising silence. Calmly, Hanzo placed down his tea thermos (seriously, what fourteen-year-old drank tea??) and spoke with an imperial flick of his chin, “You sounded awfully defensive there, Mr. Morrison.”

               “Alright, what is this all about? What are you trying to get at?”

                 “Ignore them, Jack.” Angela said coolly, “They simply assume things because Gabe’s been mentioning you a lot.”

                 Pinching the bridge of his nose amidst the fits of giggles and slightly thrown off by Angela’s remark, Jack sighed, “So do you kids and your parents all know Gabriel personally?”

                 He should have guessed, that would probably the only way the camp leader could swindle people to sign their kids up in here. Completely ignoring the fact that the entire concept was kinda fun.

                 “Obviously Fareeha knows Gabe, since her mom works with him and all.” Lena blew a raspberry at him, grinning, “Me, Emily, Angie,” Ignoring Angela’s distasteful noise, “The Shimada bros, Amelie, Sombra, Jesse and Brigitte come here every year! We chat with Gabe all the time!”

                 Jack’s head turned over so quickly it popped, “You come here every year???”

                 Brigitte winked, “Every year since I was eight. Uncle Rein and Uncle Gabe go way back. Do you know Uncle Rein helped Uncle Gabe set this whole place up??? I wasn’t allowed to go on the first year, but I went on the second!”

                 “That’s because you weren’t old enough.”

                 Brigitted stuck her tongue out at a flexing Fareeha, “Only because I got chicken pox that year!”

                 “My uncle Torbjorn wants to send his kids here next year too.” Angela chimed in.

                 Emily wrinkled her nose, “Doesn’t he have like seven kids or something? Gabe and Ana never take more than twenty per year. And I’m not giving up my spot.”

                 “Why doesn’t he take more than twenty?” Jack quirked up an eyebrow. The conversation was moving too fast for him to stomach the fact that yes, not only Reinhardt knew Emily was going here, but he also had a hand in building this place. It made the decision to send Jack to camp Overwatch the more baffling, but he would file all those thoughts away in order to keeping up with the kids’ chirping.

                 “Safety reasons, duh.” Fareeha rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Can’t have some unattended idiots run off and get lost.”

                 Jack’s “language” was lost under Lena’s loud protest, “Hey! That was ONE time!!!”

                 Before the argument could get heated, and before Jack could ask about that incident, Hana butted in, “So you guy come here every year? Isn’t it the same thing over and over?”

                 “Well, yeah and no.” Emily took a sip of her hot chocolate, “I mean, we do competition every year, but the theme varies. Last year it was sci-fi, and Gabe set up this wicked laser tag ring for us. Got split into four teams last time, and we had Gabe and Ana as information brokers.”

                 She went on to describe how they got to play a more strategic rather than physical game last time, as the teams earned points by solving riddles, some even hidden amidst the enemy team’s fort, trying to trick each other by messing up clues, taking pieces of a puzzle away and keeping the “information brokers” from snooping and selling out their plans. Hana was completely enamoured by the end, and Mei too, from the looks of it.

                 “Any chance finding out the theme beforehand?” The bubbly Korean bounced on her butt.

                 “It’s usually listed on the website a few months before summer. It’s pretty cool, because when the theme is announced, the people who signed up can vote on a few activities.” Fareeha puffed up with an air of importance, “The battle thing this year was my idea.”

                 Hanzo snorted behind his thermos. Fareeha gave him a long stare, “Oh please, don’t act like you don’t like the chance of shooting Genji up the butt.”

                 He glared at her, mumbling, “How uncouth.” But didn’t deny it. Amari Jr. flashed him a victorious grin.

                 “I thought this was lame at first.” Hana admitted, and flailed when Lena gasped at her, “I mean, I’m sorry! But the idea of being sent off to a camp when you could be doing all the other cool stuff with your friends sucks. But first day, and I’m sold! This is badass! I’d totally come back next year!”

                 Sighing at all the cheering, Jack gave up trying to fix their language. If he was honest with himself, their exuberance and carefree joy brought a warmth to his chest. There was no denying that the kids loved Gabriel, and they loved camp Overwatch as a whole, safe or not.

                 The more he pondered, the more it didn’t make sense. Why did Reinhardt send Jack here if the man himself didn’t have any problem with the camp being run the way it did? And if Reinhardt did somehow have a problem, why did he still let his favourite niece coming here?

                 Lost in his musing, Jack didn’t notice it at first when Efi, tiny with huge, expectant eyes, tugged at his elbow.

                 “You’re not going to close down the camp, are you?”

                 Jack melted before the pleading, innocent stare. And was that a flicker of guilt he felt? “No…No. Of course not. I’m just here to help make things better.”

                 It earned him a wide, tooth-gaped grin and a squeezing hug.

                  The moment was shattered however, when a shout came out from their tent. Jack, and half of the others, scrambled inside to find a shocked Lucio, the canvas wall at the back untied and a chunk of their canned food hoard missing. Hanzo immediately set to investigate the opening.

                 “I don’t think we need your poking around to know who did this.” Angela’s eyes narrowed into slits. Behind the blonde, Fareeha crackled her knuckles.

                 “Oh, it is on.”

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                 It was chaos the next day.

                 When Jack heard “re-enacting epic battles”, he didn’t expect them to be given foam sword and padded arrows to go to town down on each other. And he certainly had a clear idea of how Hanzo would like to “shoot Genji up the butt” now, as Fareeha had eloquently put it, because the elder Shimada was chasing down his brother, crackling like he just drank a vat of Mountain Dew, and repeatedly shooting the green-haired boy in his backside. It was also terrifying to see Efi, tiny, adorable Efi, screaming at the top of her lungs with a foam sword double her size, and chasing down Sombra of all people.

                 If Jack had to admit it, he would say it was hilarious. Until Zarya decided enough was enough and tried to choke Lucio with her thighs, squishy weapons be damned.

                 “Hey! HEY!!! That’s against the rule!”

                 Jack was only half way there to break the two apart, when Gabriel swooped in out of nowhere, and held them by the scruffs of their necks. The burly, pink-haired eleven-year-old struggled to reach for Lucio again, while the latter was just glad to be able to breathe.

                 “That’s enough. You’re sitting this one out.”

                 The girl broke into a string of loud, harsh Russian, which Jack was glad he didn’t understand. Crouching down by Lucio, “You ok?”

                 “Yeah…” The boy croaked, still a bit dazed. Though he declined when Jack suggested he should sit down for a bit, “Are you kidding??? This is awesome, man!!! No way I’m missin’ this one!” Turning back to the fray, shouting, “Let’s turn up the BEAT!!!”

                 And charged right into a towering Mako in Jack’s horror.

                 Thank goodness he had the insight to leash Cogni at the tent. She would have gone ballistic at all this madness. The corgi normally behaved at home, but here, in such a place with such a crowd, a pup like her was bound to get overly excited. And that would have caused way more harm than good.

                 “How do you deal with…this???” Jack blurted out, watching Zarya stomping off. He didn’t even have it in him to scowl when Gabriel smirked.

                 “Scared, boy scout?”

                 This time, Jack did frown, “I’m just saying, this doesn’t seem safe at all. Without interference, someone could have gotten seriously hurt!”

                 “That’s why we are here.” Gabriel shrugged, “Besides, it should calm down by tomorrow.”

                 “They look like they could run from New York to LA.”

                 “Why do you think I had them labouring on the camps, going on that treasure hunt, and now this?” Gabriel gave him a pointed stare, but there wasn’t any sarcasm in his words, “These kids got stuck sitting on their asses most of the year. P.E. is not enough to let off their pent up energy. They need to do something to release all of that, with as few limits as they can get. This is a perfect place for them to do so, without breaking anything and their parents’ scolding.”

                 Jack’s eyes widened. But Gabriel wasn’t done, “I grew up in the city. Everywhere you look, it’s a wall. Summer was restricting with many kind of dangers and looming accidents. Summer camps were ridden with rules are chiding eyes.”

                 “So you decided a foam sword battle is the best thing for the kids.”

                 Under Gabriel’s sudden heated glare, Jack shook his head vehemently, palms up, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be offensive. I mean…it’s actually…great.”

                 As soon as the words left his mouth, Jack viciously regretted it. Replacing that spark of passion, Reyes’ lips slowly stretched wide with the smugness Jack associated him with. The latter immediately scowled.

                 “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. It could use some improvements. Take Lucio for example. He could have been seriously hurt if nobody interfered on time.”

                 “But he didn’t. That’s why we’re here.” Gabriel repeated, smirk only grew wider, “Just gotta pay-“Gerard came flying out of nowhere and slammed into Jack right on the side, “attention.”

                 While the lanky boy couldn’t knock Jack down, hell, his elbow was sharp. Still, Jack tried, hard, to smile as Gerard profusely apologised, “It’s alright. Just watch where you’re going next time.” And was hyperaware of Gabriel’s stare burning at the back of his neck.

                 By the end of it, the adults were just as dirty and ragged as the kids. Jack had to escort Hanzo off twice for making his brother bawl, and another one for tackling Jesse to the ground. Hana bit Amelie in the hand, somehow Liao and Bridgette caught each other in a headlock, Mako was sitting on a screaming Lena and Jamison broke every single foam sword he was given. Even so, they probably would have fought through the night if Ana didn’t call it to a stop.

                 “The total point pool for each team is 10. For each member violating the rules, one point is taken away.”

                 Blackwatch ended up with 6, whilst Jack’s team got 7. That meant the total tied. This definitely brought the kids’ mood back up and, though exhausted, they chattered happily all the way back to camp after a quick shower at the lodge. Whilst Angela and Jack went around to check if anyone’s scrapes needed bandaging, the rest were, loudly, debating on what name they were going to call themselves.

                 “We can call ourselves the MEKA Unit!”

                 “That’s too sci-fi, Hana.”

                 “Yeah, but the other team called themselves Blackwatch.”

                 “Just because they suck doesn’t mean we have to suck too!”

                 And thus the bickering began, as they stuck pieces of sausages on sticks to cook over the fire. Sighing, Jack went through the next day’s programme.

                 “Says here we need to get two to help each respective camp leader cook for each team from tomorrow and onward.” He read aloud, and realised with a slight shudder that he was the camp leader.

                 Jack couldn’t cook worth a shit.

                 “Well, we can’t eat packaged sausages forever.” Emily commented from where she was sharing a stick with Lena.

                 Fareeha made a noise, “This would be the one time I’m jealous of their team. Uncle Gabe’s chili is killer.”

               Jack was genuinely distressed, “He cooks???”

                 “Yeah. Don’t you?”

                 Silence.

                 Lena whistled upon seeing the look on Jack’s face, “Hoooo boy. We’re gonna fail spectacularly.”

                 “It’s also worth points.” Angela, with endless pool of patience and understanding, explained, “Think Masterchef. Just smaller scale. Every day you have to serve lunch and dinner. By the end of the day we have to vote which dishes are the best. Whoever gets the most votes gets one point for the team.”

                 Jack groaned, holding his head. Lena was right. He was going to fail spectacularly. Thus would make the kids fail and they would hate him and everything he might come up to improve the place would be rebuked and…

                 “I can help out if you’d like?” Emily broke his depressing, border-lining frantic train of thoughts, “I know how to cook.”

                 “Same here.” Lucio beamed, “I have a lot of younger cousins. You won’t believe how much food they chomp through in one sitting!”

                 They were being so supportive. The least Jack could do was try, right?

                 “That’s great and all, but we still need a name!” Hana exclaimed.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                 Growing up on a farm, Jack knew how to do a number of things. Chopping woods, collecting eggs, herding cows,…you named it and he would ace it. But he was also a walking disaster in the kitchen, and his Ma had banned him from there since the day he broke her favourite china trying to boil a tomato.

                 How that happened, Jack had no idea.

                 Just like how he was fumbling with this one carrot.

                 “You’re supposed to peel it first.” Emily piped up.

                 Jack wasn’t, or at least he would like to think, an easily flustered man. But there was a certain sense of embarrassment when one was being taught by a ten-year-old. And Gabriel very non-discreet stares at the back of his neck didn’t help either.

                 “Yeah. Peeling.” Peeling he could do. He used to have to peel a ton of potatoes when he was a kid. Still, he ended up knocking over the strainer whilst trying to find the right utensil. Lucio blinked down at the spilled green beans.

                 “Maybe it’d help if we decide what to cook first?” He suggested, handing Jack the peeler before the man could make a bigger mess. Jack’s ears burned at Sombra’s stifled giggles behind his back.

                 He raked his brain, trying to think of something within his capability. Ever since he moved out, the most Jack had ever “cooked” was heating up spaghetti-O’s and frying eggs. He had a feeling neither would impress the kids. Then again, nothing had gone according to his expectation since day one. Jack didn’t think the camp lodge would house a semi-industrial kitchen, nor did he imagine they would get fresh farm products delivered here.

                 “Just for today, you get access to everything. But from tomorrow onwards, your teams must earn credits from puzzles, treasure hunts and other activities to place an order for products.” At six a.m. sharp, Jack stared at Ana owlishly after her explanation.

                 “What about the cans?”

                 The camp leader gave him a stare that would have made Jack shrink and his Ma proud, “That’s only for the first two days and emergencies. Say, like the food camp leader provides is unfit for human consumption.”

                 Needless to say, the too recent memory did not boost Jack’s confidence. He didn’t even know where to begin.

                 “Maybe a stew?” Emily suggested, picking at the chicken, “We can separate the bones and make a nice stock with the veggies.”

                 “Oh! And we can make a peach cobbler for dessert! I saw a few cans in the pile!” Lucio zipped away as soon as the words left his mouth.

                 Being clueless as he was, Jack didn’t argue with their choices. Being the ever responsible adult, he insisted that he would handle the knife.

                 Naturally, Jack almost chopped his finger off.

                 Lucio almost fainted at the sight of streaming blood, Emily and Sombra both went pale, and Jesse’s jaws hung loose. And Jack just stared dumbly at his hand.

                 “Oh.”

                 “What do you mean ”oh”?” Calloused fingers wrapped around his wrist, yanking it under the tap. Jack hissed when cold water hit the open wound, though he was too stunned to pull away.

                 “Jesse, quit starin’ and give me the first aid kit. You three, scram.”

                 Snapped out of shock, Sombra, Emily and Lucio almost tripped over each other to get out. Jesse clumsily dropped the box next to Gabriel, before masking a hasty retreat himself. If Jack wasn’t so occupied with how close Gabriel was, he would have felt worse for the kids. In fact, he was so distracted by fresh aftershave’s scent, he almost missed the question.

                 “How did you survive this long?”

                 “Well, I used to live on a farm. This is nothing.” He had plenty “battle scars” on him to prove his point. The one on his back from falling down an apple tree when he was eight, a burnt mark on his elbow from the barbecue, one on his upper arm from the tractor steps, a few on his thighs from climbing a beat up fence…

                 “I meant the cooking.” Jack felt heat dusting his cheeks again. If Gabriel noticed, he ignored it in favour of wiping Jack’s hand clean, “How did you live on a farm and not know how to use a knife?”

                 “It’s…different.” Jack struggled to find the words, staring down at their joined hands. How could a hold so firm be so gentle at the same time? And how could he possibly associate Gabriel Reyes with the word gentle? “To whittle a branch, you bring the knife away from you? Not laying everything on a board and chopping it, and certainly not with a massive chef’s knife.”

                  A chuckle rumbled forth, resonating against his side and taking Jack by surprise. There was no mockery in the sound, just pure amusement and, dare Jack say, a drop of fondness. But Gabriel didn’t speak more, and neither did Jack, out of conflicted thoughts. The cut was dressed quickly with practiced movements. Jack had half a mind to ask how many times and to whom had Gabriel done this to. But he felt like that was a pretty petty thing to say, and Gabriel had earned enough merits for the day for Jack to not be an ass about it.

                 Oh, yes, certainly enough merits, as Gabriel quietly and neatly separated the meat from the bones of Jack’s chicken. The former also moved his station across from Jack’s team instead of with their backs against each other. If the kids, once called back inside, had any question about the changes, they didn’t voice it. Though, Sombra did glance between the two men, an almost hidden smile playing on her pursed lips.

                 Jack didn’t make a fuss over it. After all, Gabriel didn’t have to correct them when they forgot to season the broth, nor did he have to tell them to strain the peaches. For once, there was no jab or taunt between them. Honestly, the silence bothered Jack a little, not quite on an uncomfortable note, but with this uncertainty that refused to leave his thoughts. It occurred to Jack then that he knew about Gabriel just as little as he knew any of the kids here, despite having some mutual acquaintances. That he didn’t know enough to judge the man on a personal level.

                 It was…grounding, and it also kindled a sense of curiosity.

                 Lunch didn’t turn out too bad. Jack had to admit the vegetable chunks could be more even and they could use a bit more seasoning. He wasn’t even mad more than half the camp voted for Gabriel’s stunning beef goulash and coconut flan. Hell, Jack himself enjoyed it.

                 “I think you need some lessons, Commander.” Fareeha spoke solemnly. They were working around the camp’s perimeter, as Angela had decided to implement some form of defence around the big tent.

                 “I definitely do.” He didn’t sound too positive. Emily and Lucio did all the cooking, Jack just did the heavy lifting, literally.

                 But this was a very tentative matter. On one hand, Jack knew he was setting up for failure and that he was one of those people who just couldn’t get the art of cooking right. On the other, this was his team, and they were counting on him. Plus letting two kids doing most of the job for him, a grown ass twenty-seven years old man just didn’t feel right.

                 “Maybe I can convince Uncle Gabe to give you lessons.”

                 “Wait…what?”

                 Fareeha didn’t even bat an eyelash, “Emily told us how he helped you guys back there. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you a hint or two.”

                 Jack stopped stacking up the logs, gawking, “But this is a competition!”

                 “Yeah, duh. But it’s also supposed to be fun.” She was the splitting image of Ana then, with hands on her hips and a proud quirk to her lips, “It’s no fun when the opposing team is hopelessly outmatched and miserable, isn’t it?”

                 Jack didn’t know why, but this idea didn’t sit well with him, “What about your mom?”

                 The girl puffed up with laughter, “She’s terrible with cooking! Well, not terrible terrible, but not the best. Uncle Gabe helps her all the time. He always had to prep recipes for her beforehand. Looks like you’ll be continuing the tradition.”

                 She then lowered her voice, big eyes darting around in an innocent secrecy that made him smile, “But don’t tell the others, ok? It’s sorta a secret around here.”

                 Jack found his amusement fading later that day, when he was called up to the watch tower. Mostly because he was hit with a full face of Gabriel Reyes’ Smug Smirktm.

                 “So a little birdie told me you need help.”

                 Jack groaned, and couldn’t be bothered to be offended when Corgni immediately bounced towards Gabriel, “Would you just focus at the task for now?”

                 Surprisingly, Reyes complied, though Jack wished he would wipe that look off of his face. But Jack figured instead of being annoyed, he should at least pay attention to something he could do.

                 Each team was given a puzzle box today. A yosegi, to be exact, though Jack didn’t have a higher understanding of what it was despite Hanzo’s exasperated explanations. On his team, obviously the Japanese boy was in charge of solving the puzzle, along with Mei and Angela. On Gabriel’s team: Gerard, Satya and Sombra. Since this was more of an intellectual thing, Jack wasn’t too worried about anyone getting hurt.

                 That was until Ana told him the second part of the game.

                 “Inside the puzzle, there is a clue to where the credits are hidden. The kids have to solve the puzzle, then pass the clue to another teammate to gather these credits before the opposing team does.”

                 “Why do all of these games have to be so physical???”

                 Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, “That’s kinda the point?”

                 Jack groaned. Why did he even bother?

                 If his team’s performance wasn’t the best the last few rounds, today they were exceptional. Hanzo’s head probably would be growing twice its normal size, as Fareeha might say, but the boy was incredibly quick with his movements. Mosaic cubes were pushed around at blurring speed, and got unlocked within fifteen minutes flat. Lena, Lucio and Fareeha were at the ready, and they shot off at different directions.

                 Gabriel’s team was frantic, and the more they rushed to keep up, the more they fumbled.

                 “Looks like it’s canned shit for us tomorrow.” Gabriel remarked, amusement colouring his voice in lack of the half-expected bitterness. There was this spark in his eyes, one Jack couldn’t quite place, when Gabriel turned around, grinning, “I’ll see you at the lodge tonight.”

                 Well, that would not be pleasant.

                 Even though Emily and Lucio did lovely for dinner (twice baked potatoes, roasted pork belly and peanut butter cookies), Jack couldn’t stop scowling. Without their presence there, he expected shit to go flying.

                 Jack came to Camp Overwatch a number of times, as other local camps. In contrary to many leaders Jack knew, Gabriel was flippant towards anything Jack had to say, and always had the sass to fire back. It was frustrating dealing with him, because Gabriel had to question every simple regular regulation. Jack had to admit some of them were long-winded and could be approached more efficiently. However, the way Gabriel approached them could be border-lining insulting.

                 “Keep making that face and it’ll get stuck like that.”

                 The whisk in his hand clattered to the counter, splattering egg everywhere. Jack’s frown deepened, “Sorry.”

                 Gabriel quirked up an eyebrow, “You hate cooking that much?”

                 Letting out a sigh, Jack tried, and failed, to school his expression, “No. I won’t use hate, but I hardly cook at a normal time, much less pass 10 at night.”

                 It was a bit awkward. They didn’t know each other well and Jack didn’t know if they could hold a conversation without arguing their faces off.

                 “You cook often?”

                 Granted, that probably wasn’t the stupidest and most obvious question he could come up with, but Jack kind of want to face-palm all the same. And there it was, Gabriel’s smirk.

                 “I don’t think I have a choice.” He gestured towards the door. But then his smile softened, turning a bit more genuine, “But yeah. I actually do like cooking. It’s calming.”

                 “Calming? I don’t know. To me it’s stressful as hell.”

                 And yes. There was the disagreement.

                 “Probably because you aren’t used to it.” Gabriel shrugged, tossing a pinch of salt into the batter, “My grandma made it her business to drill most of her recipes into my head before I left home. Said I can survive anywhere if I know how to cook.”

                 Jack blinked, “That’s a bit strange. But I can see what she meant.”

                 It was definitely useful and a desirable skill. Even if he didn’t say it aloud, sometimes Jack wished he could make something that’s not either charred or hopelessly raw. Especially after a long day of dealing with paperwork, every spoon of cold Spaghetti’O felt like it would go right back up his nose.

                 “What’s your favourite food?”

                 Were they sharing stuff now? Was Gabriel actually…okay with this?

                 “Strawberry shortbread.”

                 The way Gabriel was staring at him…Gods, the man probably though Jack was mental. Immediately, he felt the need to explain.

                 “When I was a kid, my Ma would make it every summer.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. There were just so many fond memories, “I’d bring them to the Scout meetings and share them.”

                 His words ended on an awkward note. Gabriel was still looking at him, but the thoughtfulness in his eyes was one Jack had never seen before. At least not directed at him.

                 “Chili cheeseburger.”

                 “…What?”

                 Gabriel cleared his throat and went back to his batter, “Mine is chili cheeseburger. It’s messy, but it’s great. Grandma used to make it every barbecue Sunday.”

                 The way he fumbled a little made Jack bite back a smile, ��Fareeha said your chili is pretty good.”

                 “Good???” Scandalised, Gabriel waved the spatula at Jack, “I’d have you know, my chili is bomb! That’s it, screw the rules, I’m making chili tomorrow, and you, sir, are going to love it.”

                 This time, Jack did laugh, feeling the tension drawing out of him.

                 And he did love the chili. Even though he’d never admit that to Gabriel.

                 It opened a whole new door. The prep night became a routine. Not that Jack had a say in the matter, but he at least was happy that conversations with Gabriel were more pleasant than he thought. In the span of two weeks, Jack learned that outside of this camp, Gabriel led a rather fascinating life. He was in the Navy for a time, used to go to college for a nursing degree, but dropped out because it didn’t feel right for him, went and travel around Asia alone for a year, and would have headed to Europe if his grandma didn’t fall sick. He had a three-legged cat named Bastion and, outside of camp, he was the chef at his mother’s restaurant.

                 “When summer rolls around, my sister comes home from culinary school and fills in my spot.”

                 “That’s a bit cheating. No wonder why you have to prep all the meals.”

                 Gabriel had laughed then, the sound warm and resonating within the space between them.

                 As for Jack’s team, they had finally decided on a name without bickering so much over it. They called themselves the Uncrowned, simply because it sounded cool, and Angela refused her Queen title, unlike Satya.

                 “But that’s…” The word edgy died on his tongue at the kids’ excitement. Oh, well. As long as they agreed.

                 Begrudgingly, Jack had to admit camp Overwatch was fun, despite its many violations. And Gabriel had arguably picked the best crowd for all these activities. Despite their differences and occasional arguments, the kids worked well together, and were genuinely enjoying everything they got to do. Everyone had a role they could fall into, and none of the “duties” seemed like a chore to them. Both Blackwatch and The Uncrowned were neck to neck in points by the end of the third week. Excitement ran high when Gabriel announced the final week’s events.

                 “The mural competition starts on the first day and will be judged on the final day of the week. Also on the first day are the heraldry competition and cupcake battle. On the second day, we have a long bow competition and melee. On the third day, we have the fantasy mask competition and theatre. Poetry competition and jousting tourney are on the fourth day. And yes, yes we are going to get real horses in here.”

                 Jesse whooped so loudly, he probably scared all the woodland critters away within the five miles radius.

                 “We’ll have an eating competition, costume contest and three-legged races on the fifth. The sixth has potato sack race, long sword tourney and fairy house contest. And of course, the seventh is our final judging day and prize awards.”

                 The kids practically buzzed. Aside from the daily treasure hunts and puzzles, they now had to plan ahead for the last week. With the credits used to order food, they also were allowed to put down the materials they might need for the competitions, especially for all the crafting and arts.

                 And that was when the sieging began.

                 “Seriously? A ram?”

                 “It was just a log, Jack.”

                 “Gabriel. They used an oversized log as a battering ram. To knock down a canvas tent.”

                 The man in question rolled his eyes. Jack glared.

                 “Fine. They probably might have gone overboard a little bit.”

                 “A little???” Bewilderment coloured Jack’s voice, “Gabe, this is the third time in the last two days we have to sit down and talk about this kind of things! Control your kids!”

                 “Maybe you should stop coddling yours. Hana was totally snickering under her tear-streaked face as soon as you walked away.”

                 Instead of firing back, Jack covered his face with his hands, muttering.

                 “What was that?”

                 “This is ridiculous. You were right there. You could have stopped them.”

                 “Uh…I got lost in the moment?”

                 From behind his fingers, Jack shot Gabriel a look, “Really?”

                 The latter’s smirk was smug, with equal parts of sheepishness, and something else Jack couldn’t quite place. Gabriel had been sending a lot of those out lately, whenever they had these five-minute meetings and during their nightly prep times. Even though Jack didn’t fully understand it, it was a lot well-received than the cockiness he was graced with before.

                 Sighing, Jack turned to Ana, who was utterly unhelpful, unlike what she had assured him in the beginning, “You have nothing to say about all of this?”

                 “Nah.” She picked at her nails, boredom oozed out of her voice in waves, “You boys seem to have this under wrap.”

                 “…I swear, this entire camp is against me.” Jack grumbled, walking away with Corgni, ever so faithful, bounced after his steps.

                 The complaints became more and more frequents the longer it went on. And despite Jack’s resolution about safety measures, even he thought this was becoming ridiculous.

                 “Jack!!! Mako yelled at me! Go get Uncle Gabe!”

                 “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Sombra broke my nail!!! Please go tell Gabe!!!”

                 “Jack. Tell Gabriel to kick Genji off his team.”

                 The last was definitely Hanzo’s, and Jack obviously didn’t comply. But the trips to go see Gabriel turned into some sort of reflex now, whenever a kid came running towards him. And they, Jack and Gabriel, mostly talked about what kind of food to prepare that night rather than the kids’ shenanigans, and Ana didn’t even bother to show up anymore.

                 If Jack had to admit it to himself, this routine was kind of nice.

                 “So why did you decide to open a camp?”

                 Jack was getting better with his knife work. Although slow, his chicken breast cubes were even, and the best part was he didn’t have too many accidents anymore. The first week had seen a copious amount of bandages gone and Jack’s poor hand wrapped up like it was mummified.

                 “I don’t know if you remembered, but I wanted to make a place for the kids to run around with as little restriction as possible. I’ve always been good with kids too, so I figured I’d give it a try.”

                 Jack blinked, “So you just went ahead and opened a camp?”

                 “Well…” For once, Gabriel Reyes, the Sass Master, was flustered, “It kinda came to me in a dream.”

                 Jack stopped every movement, gawking. Sheepish, Gabriel scratched the back of his head.

                 “At the time, I was actually applying for the same job you have now. I and Reinhardt went to the same high school and actually were in the same squadron. We had a beer over it and he was adamant the job wasn’t for me. He was right, of course. Being tied down inside an office would drive me insane. The dream came up after some bantering and here we are.”

                 “That’s…very spontaneous.” There was a note of hesitation in Jack’s voice. Going back to the chopping board, he found himself unable to focus. Growing up, everything had always been so certain and planned. Jack always knew he wanted an office job, and he always wanted to help keeping order, to protect and prevent. He did well at school. He took a year off from all the studying and found an internship. Stayed there for almost a year and got the job. Been staying ever since.

                 It wasn’t that Jack didn’t like his life. He was grateful for it, not having to struggle. But sometimes, he did wish there was some excitement.

                 “Something wrong with it?”

                 Jack blinked, “Ah…no. No. It’s just…Quite a life you’ve got there, Gabe. Mine is a bit…boring.”

                 His smirk was sly, “Oh? Jealous, Morrison?”

                 “A little bit, yeah.”

                 Instantly, Jack felt stupid. He couldn’t believe he just said that. But the look in Gabriel’s eyes turned soft and his smile was gentle when he nudged Jack.

                 “I guess this change of pace is good for you, then. You’re welcome to return next year. The kids love you, and you’re much more fun than Ana.”

                 Jack’s stomach did a flip.

                 Oh, no.

                 Amidst the pink, delicious-smelling bowls of marinating chicken tikka, Jack fell, for rumbling laughter and tenderness wrapped up in a thunderstorm.

                 His first question to himself was why, more in an automated sense than him actually needing an answer. Perhaps it was so unexpected in its expectedness, his mentality couldn’t process it quick enough to be in denial. Or that he had been in denial the whole time and just now realised the inevitable.

                 He started to spend less time talking, and more to watch and listen. His heart would soar when they spoke, and there was this certain yearning when they didn’t. He tread a little more careful, and he became a little more self-conscious. He smiled easier, despite the nagging uneasiness at the back of his mind, and the butterflies in his stomach.

                 It was the anomaly that reeled Jack in. Gabriel’s defiance and his quick wit had always been the most striking traits, but there was also that underlying passion, and just how much he cared. Jack hadn’t been able to see that when they first met, bristling with ego and self-righteousness. He didn’t see how much effort Gabriel put into the camp, how much thoughts he put into it to entertain the kid, even just for two months a year.

                 And Gods, their personalities just clicked, once given the chance to.

                 With the final week just around the corner, Jack was sucked into the whirlwind of preparations and guarding their spoils against Blackwatch’s attempts. Both teams had been constantly trying different, and terrifyingly creative, methods to plunder each other’s hoards, which in turn gave Jack more headache causes than he would have liked. Hanzo had a tendency to snap whenever someone was being too loud. Lena was skittish. Mei and Angela were both paranoid. Emily had taken to arm herself with an iron skillet (which Jack had to confiscate the moment she almost knocked Jamison out cold). Lucio and Brigitte took turns patrolling the camp. Hana and Efi made a bunch of booby traps around the premise that had the tendency to trip their own teammates over. Fareeha was probably the only one to be relatively calm, but then again, for a kid her age, she had a pretty damn good poker face.

                 At least they managed to assign who to sign up for which competition without much quarrelling.

                 “They let Angela be in the cupcake team?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the list Jack provided. The latter winced at his tone.

                 “Is that a bad idea?”

                 “Oh, trust me, she’s one smart cookie, but that girl is just as bad as you are in terms of cooking.”

                 Jack sighed, “That explains the glaring…But with Lucio full time on the mural team, he won’t be able to participate.”

                 “…Right. I’ll make sure to stock extra toilet papers.”

                 On the last week, parents were invited to come spectate and cheer for the kids. Gabriel had enlisted the help of a few friends to set up booths around the fences and erect some tents for other activities. They worked overnight, and by July 20th, the camp did turn out to be a mini Renaissance Fair, just as Gabriel described. Canvas tents, colourful flags, wooden shields, weapon racks and many other nick-knacks Jack didn’t have the name for. They even wired some hidden speakers around the premise, playing jig and skipping lute that quite frankly got a bit annoying after some time.

                 As Gabriel predicted, as soon as the parents showed up, the kids were a lot less difficult to manage. Everyone tried to be on their best behaviours, especially the Shimada brothers, in hope they’d be able to return next year. Hana even made peace with her parents, gushing about her time and was just short from begging to sign for next year.

                 Jack, too, was excited, both for the same reasons as the kids and another of his own. Gabriel lived in Sacramento, but he mentioned he would still be in town for at least a couple more weeks before heading back. Perhaps then, when there wasn’t anything else to distract them, Jack could get to know Gabriel a bit more. Jack was equally hopeful and scared.

                 After all, Gabriel had to like him to some degree in order to extend an invitation for him to come back, right?

                 Jack was glad he postponed asking Gabriel out (was that even the right term? Or was that too childish? Rushing it?) On the second day, Reinhardt��s booming laughter almost made Jack cough up the remains of Angela’s abominable cupcake.

                 “Jack! My boy! How’s it been?”

                 Struggling to regain his balance after the massive man’s enthusiastic slap in the back, Jack huffed, “I’m alright. What brings you here?”

                 “My niece! Never miss competition week for her!” Reinhardt boomed and, upon seeing the pointed look Jack was shooting him, laughed again, this time a little sheepish, “Guess I’m busted.”

               “You could have told me.” Jack accused. His boss gave him a shrug that eerily reminded him of Gabriel’s.

                 “You were obsessed over this place, so I figured there wasn’t anything anyone could say to change your mind. Best to let you experience it.” Pausing briefly, he grinned, “And by the looks of it, I was right.”

                 “Improvements can be made. But yes, it is rather nice.“ Jack had no reason to deny that. It would be silly at this point.

                 “I’m sure you and Gabriel can discuss that over dinner.” The twinkle in Reinhardt’s eyes were too mischievous for the words to be coincidental. But before Jack could comment on it, his boss flagged down Brigitte, and lumbered away with a broad grin.

               Jack supposed he should be suspicious, however was soon having to direct all his focus on the archery ring and the melee tourney. Despite the arrows being padded and the swords were foam, Jack wouldn’t put pass the kids to try and do something stupid with them. Sure enough, not even into round two, Hana and Liao tossed their swords aside and wrestled instead.

                 “Tomorrow is going to be worse, isn’t it?” Jack sighed after they benched the two kids, “Why did you have to bring in real horses…”

                 “There are only two that will be competing and I cleared that out with their parents beforehand. Besides, it’s not like they are going to charge at each other. Only some poor stuffed dummies are going to get knocked down. So don’t worry your pretty head over it.”

                 Jack’s heart fluttered, catching onto the way Gabriel’s hand lingered just a tad longer at his nape.

                 At least they had a breather on the third day. There wasn’t anything note-worthy except for a minor backstage accident, caused by overly-elaborate dress trains and unnecessary high heels. The Uncrowned did a quicker rendition of Romeo and Juliet, with Emily trying and failing to stifle her giggles while Lena sang at the top of her lungs an off-tune version of I’m Kissing You. Meanwhile, Blackwatch did a comedic show loosely based off of Robin Hood. Jack had to admit, it was impressive the way they coordinated Mako and Jamison’s dancing.

                 On the 23th of July, it was nerve-wracking. Their two competitors were Jesse and Hanzo, who were as far away on each end of the spectrum as one could get. Somehow Jesse’ entire extended family showed up, taking up a whole square of the spectator booth and cheering so loudly Jack thought they brought an entire rodeo with them. And then there was the Shimada, quiet and imposing, crisp in their pressed suit and fancy dress. While the two kids did get to do a few test rides with their horses, brought here by the same farm that supplied their food, Jack was still on edge with how massive the beasts were compared to the boys. Jesse was known to be a hot-head and nobody could be as fiercely competitive as Hanzo, so Jack could only hope they wouldn’t do anything rash just for a few extra points.

                 It did get tense for a while there, as Hanzo and Jesse both knocked out the same amount of dummies in the same amount of time. However, on their last round, the cowboy’s lance slipped out of his hand, making him and his horse go sailing pass the target. This had Hanzo winning by one point, and the crowd exploded with excitement as the boy did a victory lap.

                 Jack let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, not because his team won this round, but because everyone was safe, thankfully. But there was a slight smile hidden under Gabriel’s moustache. Upon queried, there was a certain fondness in Gabriel’s voice as he watched the boys.

                 “It’s complicated. I’ll tell you later.”

                 It fed Jack’s hope, making him giddy and expectant through the last two days of competition. Not even the gross outcome of the eating contest or having to clean up the fairy house mess dampened his mood, though the potato sack race came pretty close with so many of them falling face-first on the track.

                 On the eve of the 25th, Jack, Gabriel and Ana gathered at the lodge, going over the total points and discussing the possible prizes. Since Ana kept impeccable records of everything, it didn’t take them too long to find out which one was the winning team. With that bit out of the way, Gabriel groaned and threw his feet up the table.

                 “And that’s another successful year. I’m so ready for a vacation.”

                 Rummaging through the back fridge, Ana snorted, and provided them each a beer, “Don’t lie, you enjoyed this way more than the kids.”

                 “Takes one to know one.” Gabriel muttered, but his eyes crinkled with a grin, raising his bottle to the other two, “Cheers.”

                 Silence was pleasant and, in Jack’s case, melancholic. To think that just two months ago, he would have never imagined sitting beside Gabriel Reyes without a snarky remark, much less sharing a beer. And even more outrageous, having developed feelings for the man! It brought a smile to his face, one that Ana didn’t miss.

                 “Say, Jack. Are you thinking about coming back next year?”

                 Although he feigned nonchalance, Jack saw the glance Gabriel threw his way. Heart fluttering like a fool, Jack chuckled, “I don’t know. I mean this is supposed to be a one-time thing. I don’t think Reinhardt would let me take another two months off for nothing again.”

                 Ana’s eyes were suddenly sharp on him and, not for the first time, Jack was reminded of how Gabriel owned the place, but Ana was the boss, “Trust me. Reinhardt isn’t going to be an issue.”

                 “Oh? Is there something you’d like to share?” Gabriel slid into the banter, sly smirk already flitting. Ana turned up her nose.

                 “It’s none of your business. Remember, Gabi, you still owe me big time.”

                 Still smirking, he held up a palm, “Alright, alright. No need to get all threatening.” Then turned to Jack, expression automatically softening, but there was still a hint of mischief, “But I don’t think you have a say. You’re part of the crew now. Besides, I like your dog.”

                 Something warm danced at the pit of Jack’s stomach, and he couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m pretty sure she loves you more than me now. My God, if we stayed any longer, she’d get so fat from all the jerky you slip her.”

                 They talked well into the night, until they ran out of beers and Ana started nodding off. When they parted ways, Jack didn’t know if it was the tiredness playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn, Gabriel’s hand brushed against his, just for a fraction of a second.

                 In the morning, as soon as they woke, the kids immediately pestered Jack for the final scores. It was hard not giving in, partially because he was sad, knowing this was goodbye. He had grown to care for them just as he had grown to care for Gabriel. Even if they argued and had their crazy moments, they were still Jack’s team.

                 Perhaps, he thought wistfully, he would be able to see them next year.

                 Just as how Jack felt, even though excitement was running high today, there was a sombreness to them all. They anxiously waited for the results, and then not at all. The announcement was set before noon, so they could begin their journey home early. All chatters around the picnic tables stopped the moment Ana got onto the theatre stage.

                 “I, and my fellow camp leaders, just want to say thank you all so much for being here and participating in Camp Overwatch’s programme. We hope you enjoyed your stay, and we would like to let you know that you have brought us just as much joy as we, hopefully, brought you all. And, of course, we’ would love to welcome you all again next year!”

                 Cheers, claps and stomps erupted. Somewhere in the crowd, Jesse screamed, “Y’ bet I’m comin’ back!!!”

                 Chuckling, Ana pulled out an envelope from her jacket, sealed with wax and all, “And now, for the important bit.”

                 They could practically hear the grass rustling, everyone was waiting on baited breath for the result.

                 “Winning by a shocking, impossible two points is…”

                 Breaths were being sucked in. Jack bit back a laugh.

                 “BLACKWATCH!!!”

                 Screeches and hollers exploded from one side of the camp as the team scrambled on stage, hugging each other and cheering. On Jack’s side, the kids had flocked together for comfort.

                 “It’s not bad. We put up a really good game.”

                 “Yeah, it’s suuuuper close. Two points, man!”

                 “Well, just means we have to do better next year.”

                 “Depends on the theme though. You think they would do fantasy stuff next?”

                 Speculations and promises were already made. Even Hanzo was pulled into the conversation, a smile dancing in his eyes. Jack’s heart swelled, and he didn’t care if he was wearing the dopiest grin at that moment, watching Gabriel giving each of Blackwatch kids a crown, and a wooden shield for the Uncrowned.

                 As for the prizes, Jack was surprised to see Satya, nose up in the air, demanded everyone to add each other on social network, or at least the newcomers anyway. The kids also wanted to each take a part of their tent home, and wanted a big group picture by the lodge. However, Jack didn’t see it coming when some of his team joined with some on Blackwatch, forming a loose circle and whispered with great urgency. In the end, Sombra and Fareeha went to Gabriel, relaying to the man something Jack couldn’t catch, gesturing wildly all the while. What alarming was how wide Gabriel’s eyes grew as they spoke, and he stayed shocked as they were done.

                 And then, he laughed. Doubling over, Gabriel hollered as if he had heard the best joke in the world, so much that Corgni yanked her leash out of Jack’s hand and barrelled over to check on him.

                 Well, another thing to ask Gabriel about later.

                  The sun was bright when they gathered for the photo. To Jack’s pleasure, Gabriel chose to stand next to him instead of the other side of the group. Heat dusted his cheeks, feeling the back of their hands brushing. Mentally, Jack prepared a pep talk. Just wait for the crowd to clear, after they could take a breather, and-…

                 “Would you like to go out for dinner?”

                 Jack’s heart missed two whole beats.

                 Three days later, when the dust settled and Jack had learned how indeed everyone at camp was playing against him, he received a bunch of messages from the kids. Most didn’t have much text, either “aaaaawe” or “cuuuuute” or “omg”. It was the attachments that made Jack’s heart soar, curling closer to Gabriel’s snoring side.

                 At the very edge were the two of them, hands linked and smiles mirrored, perfectly captured the moment Jack said yes.

#r76 #reaper76 #overwatch #commission #longpost #summer camp!AU #nei writes shit #jack has a corgi #overwatch cast

[emedhelp]

4 Pro-Tips To Be The Best VCSO Mom You Can Be (You’re Welcome!)

If you have a teenage girl, you’ve probably heard it a thousand times, but you can’t figure out the sounds coming out of their mouths …

What. Are. They. Saying???

Then they say it again “… and I oop sksksksk.” Followed by giggling and something about being a … vis-co girl?? What the hell are they even talking about? So you ask. BIG MISTAKE.

You are now met with eye-rolling and sighing and then a loudly whispered “She doesn’t even know what that is?!” to her friend…and more giggling.

If you’re raising a teen or tween girl, welcome. You are completely uncool and unable to understand anything going on in the life of a teenager. Just like our parents never understood “Cool Beans” you will never understand “… and I oop sksksksk”

But I am here to try and help. First of all, it’s VSCO (pronounced vis-co) and refers to the VSCO Photo App that has become increasingly popular for creating a filtered aesthetic specific to each user. The user can create their own custom filter to apply to their photos, giving them their very own VSCO style. They can then share their VSCO link on their Instagram bio … and basically filter life. VSCO Girl refers to girls that embody this filtered, aesthetic VSCO vibe.

Aren’t you glad you asked?

According to the Urban Dictionary, a VSCO Girl is the Tumblr girl of today. A girl that wears oversized shirts, Nike shorts, Crocs, Birkenstocks and Vans, wears puka shell necklaces, messy buns, and always has an extra scrunchie on her wrist (hello, wasn’t that most of us in the ’90s?!). They have Fjallraven Kanken backpacks and LOOOOVVVEEE Jeeps. They quench their thirst with their Redbubble sticker-covered Hydroflasks, have their AirPods at the ready and love saving the sea turtles. Oh, they also shame us when we dare to use plastic straws.

If you’re nodding your head as you read this and experiencing a slight ‘90s flashback … you might have a VSCO Girl. 

In other words: they are basic teenage girls.

With all these “basic” girls being called VSCO Girls it stands to reason we would also have a bunch of “basic” moms out there as well, right? So let’s call them: VSCO Moms.

If you’re starting to feel a little nervous that you fit into this VSCO Mom thing and you have no idea how to live up to your role, this next part is for you!

Pro tips for being the best damn VSCO Mom you can be:

VSCO Mom Pro-Tip #1:

While a VSCO Girl envisions her first car being a Jeep and driving in the sunshine with the top off and the breeze blowing through her hair, a VSCO Mom doesn’t drive a Jeep. We have too many kids, kids’ friends, sports, and activities that revolve around driving our kids back and forth across town … over and over again. We are too damn concerned with gas mileage and having seats for all these kids to drive a Jeep.

So what do we drive?

A Minivan.

More specifically, the Honda Odyssey EX-L. This particular minivan and trim delivers leather, heated seats, sliding doors, and the piece de resistance: a moonroof. Oh yes, if we’re driving a minivan it had better be a kickass minivan with a moonroof—and a hella good sound system!

(Maybe you just breathed a sigh of relief; you don’t drive a minivan, whew! You drive a SUV… with a THIRD ROW! Amiright? Then yes, you are one of us. Trying to hide with your cool SUV… well, you can’t. I see you over there, because once you have that third-row, all coolness is gone. You’re basically driving a minivan, you just have less cargo room when that third row is up and lower MPGs. You are still in this my friend … so keep reading!)

Rest assured, we don’t see ourselves as minivan (or SUV with a third-row) moms. Deep down, we see ourselves as Jeep moms! We’re just stuck in a minivan shell. We are way too cool for a minivan, and yet…

If you’re driving a minivan (or an SUV with a third-row) but you don’t “look” like a minivan mom … you might be a VSCO Mom.

VSCO Mom Pro-Tip #2:

Let’s talk about the look of a VSCO Mom. Yes, there’s a look. We don’t want to be the mom that’s dumpy and frumpy, we want to look hip and cool! But not like we’re trying to be hip and cool. Sometimes we pull it off…and sometimes we don’t. But you can probably relate to what a VSCO mom looks like—or at least tries to look like.

Photo by Rosalind Chang on Unsplash

– Messy buns that take waaayyy too long and are anything but “effortless.”

– We may possibly—maybe sometimes—wear a scrunchie on our wrist… just maybe…you know, for emergencies.

– Dry shampoo is our best friend. ‘Nuff said.

– Our daughters are teaching us how to apply makeup, and we can’t figure out why a hunk of foam calling itself a beauty blender for $20 bucks does any better than our fingers. Doesn’t it just soak up the makeup instead?

– Ripped jeans—OK, ripped jeans are just cool, no matter your age.

– Fake Birks. Because our kids have the real ones and we can’t justify spending $120 on a pair of sandals for ourselves.

– Oversized t-shirts—to hide our imperfect parts, not because oversized shirts are cool.

– Necklaces with our kid’s initials or birthstones. We’ve moved up from the puka shell chokers of our youth, and birthstone “mom” rings are soooo 2000s!

– A Coach purse we bought five years ago from the outlet stores. We don’t get a new one because we have spent all our money on the Fjallraven Kanken backpacks for our kids… yeah, try pronouncing that correctly! Ha!

– Converse or Vans. Hell, they were the shoes we wore when we were kids … you know, back when they weren’t cool, they were just what we got. Now we’re spending $60 a pair for uncomfortable, unsupportive shoes. So, nostalgia for the win, because you’re not wearing them for comfort!

– You carry a Hydroflask of water with you everywhere you go, covered in stickers from coffee stands and breweries. Because, well, hydration is important, stickers are cool, and we drink coffee and appreciate a good craft brew!

If you can relate to two or more of the above items … you might be a VSCO Mom.

VSCO Mom Pro-Tip #3:

Essential oils. Yes, we have taken a tiny sliver of ancient Ayurvedic medicine and made it the go-to in the basic-mom arsenal of medicine to cure whatever ails you.

If you’ve got an ailment, there’s an oil for that!

Headache? Peppermint

Cold or Flu? OnGuard or Thieves® (depending on your EO Brand of choice, of course!)

Don’t like plain water? Lemon, Lime or Grapefruit

Cut or scrape? Tea Tree oil

Tummy Ache? Peppermint

Can’t Sleep? Lavender

Anxiety? Lavender

Stress? Lavender

Trouble Focusing? Lavender

See a pattern here? Yes, lavender cures everything!

We have diffusers in our living room, kitchen and each of our bedrooms to spread essential oil goodness into every corner of our loving and peaceful home.

We just want to spread peace, serenity, and harmony to our loved ones. And when cold and flu season strikes, we will be boosting immunities—one little drop at a time!

Does it work? I’m not sure, but if it makes you feel better to spread your love of basic-mom-hippie-oils throughout your happy home … you might be a VSCO Mom.

VSCO Mom Pro-Tip #4:

Ahhhh … suburban life at its finest. VSCO moms live in nice suburban neighborhoods. You know, the ones that half the town comes to for Halloween because all the houses decorate, and some even give out full-sized candy!

Photo by Wynand van Poortvliet on Unsplash

These are the neighborhoods that always have a plethora of kids out riding their bikes, people jogging or walking their dogs and a neighborhood Facebook page to post about the rude ass person that let their dog shit in someone’s front yard and didn’t pick it up…

Karen Jackson posted to >>> Summer Park Neighborhood Group:

“Who has cameras on the corner of Wildwood and Cascade Park Dr? If so, we need to see who didn’t pick up after their dog between 4:07-4:43 pm on Friday… grrrrr If you can post a link of the video in the comments so we all know who to publicly shame, that would be great! Thanks!”

Yes. We live in THAT type of neighborhood.

We also have kids that congregate on the corners waiting for the bus.

Dogs that bark incessantly when you walk past their house.

A trampoline in every yard (perfect for sleepovers!)

Nicely manicured lawns (except that one house—yeah, you know the one—unless you don’t, in which case it’s probably you … and then you’re definitely not a VSCO Mom!)

If this sounds like your neighborhood or you’ve ever posted on the neighborhood FB page about dog shit in your yard, you might be a VSCO Mom.

Is this your life? (You’re nodding, I know you’re nodding!) Maybe it is, or maybe you’re wondering who the hell these people are!

Either way, you now know if you’re a VSCO Mom … or if you’re not. And now that you know, please take your newfound title of VSCO Mom and use it to its full potential:

Proudly tell your VSCO Girl—and her friends—that you’re a VSCO Mom!

*Watch them cringe*

Be prepared for your daughter to say “Eww … mom. NEVER, EVER say that again. I will literally die if you say it again!”  To which I would reply, in my sweetest voice possible, “Yes honey, we’ll all die … someday.”

This will be followed by much eye-rolling and strange groaning sounds of embarrassment and another “Mommmmmm!”

And if you really want to live up to your VSCO Mom status and elicit the best reaction ever—just practice saying “…and I oop, sksksksk” a few times in front of your kids (bonus points if their friends are there too!) Your daughter, while dying of embarrassment, will tell you “Mom, you’re soooo cringy … that is literally the grossest thing you can say … and you can’t even say it right!” Again, followed by more eye-rolling.

You’ll swear you’re saying it right … but we all know the truth; you aren’t and you can’t.

Why? Because you’re not a VSCO Girl. You’re just a VSCO Mom.

So now is the time to own it, my friend. We’re all in this together!

… Oh hey, can I borrow that scrunchie?

P.S. No VSCO Girls were harmed in the writing of this article, however, one was “totally ready to die” and may never quite be the same.

The post 4 Pro-Tips To Be The Best VCSO Mom You Can Be (You’re Welcome!) appeared first on Scary Mommy.