#also a pointy ended caduceus

[eldritchships]

Hey do you think you can rate your f/os based on how well you can hold them?

Ooo sure thing! I picked a few of the current Main Guys to rate

Shockwave - The rating definitely depends on whether we're talking about me (the human) or Flatline. Shockwave is much bigger, in both scenarios, but I would only be able to hold a small area like his head or his finger. It wouldn't be super satisfying. Flatline on the other hand is bigger, so he can reasonably get the top half of the bastard in his arms. It's still kind of awkward to position, and I think Shockwave would start to get restless after a bit, but it's enjoyable enough for both parties. 2/10 if it's me, a human. 7/10 if it's Flatline.

Bowser - He would crush me immediately, making him the world's most effective and deadly weighted blanket. On the plus side, I think he is always quite warm, since he breathes fire and all. Very cosy, if a little harder to breathe. 9/10

Blurr - Now THIS is a satisfying hug. The guy is always on his feet, I think if you offered to hold him he would start out a little stiff, but then almost immediately go completely boneless into it. He's pretty slim, minus the car parts attached to his body, so it's easily to get your arms around him and squeeze tight. 10/10

Caleb - Similar to Blurr but he sinks into it immediately. You'd think he was trying to be absorbed into your being. It can be tricky to organise, because Caleb is a bit of an emotional mess (but he is improving by the end of the story! So points for that), but once it happens it is so nice for both parties involved. 9.5/10

Faust - He tries his best, he really tries. But he is 9ft tall and built like a pack of spaghetti, it just does not work easily for me/Angus, who is maybe 5'4. Luckily I am a stubborn man, and even though it'll take a few minutes of managing limbs, it's possible to find a position that's relatively comfortable. I think he also makes a lot of pleased noises while he's being held, which is very cute. 6/10

And I threw in a couple of platonic F/Os as well, just because:

Caduceus - ANOTHER big boy, Caduceus is 7ft and a little on the thin side. However, he canonically gives good hugs, and his voice makes a nice rumble in his chest that's nice to rest against. I think he'd enjoy being the cuddled instead of the cuddler for once. "This is nice :)" <- Cow man rapidly approaching a state of bliss. 9/10

Soundwave - Solid, relaxed, could use the opportunity to chill from his responsibilities. Very happy to just be held while he does his own thing, and while the shoulders might be a bit bulky, he's otherwise pretty well shaped for holding. Only exception is maybe his Transformers Prime design, which is a bit more pointy and there might be some wiggling to find a position that doesn't poke. 8/10

#thank you for asking! #this was a good question I got to think about holding my favourite characters for half an hour :) #I know it's not really canon that Cad has a tail but imagine that thing waggin like crazy #edit: OH holding Starscream is like trying to cuddle a cat. Interpret that as you will

[sylibane]

Scanlan/The Star

The Star is the card of bringing hope, but can also represent creativity, healing, and finding purpose. If nothing else, Scanlan certainly thinks of himself as the star of the group. 

[ID: A tarot card depicting Scanlan from Critical Role. He is a small man with pale skin, sleeked back brown hair, and pointy ears, and is wearing a black vest trimmed in purple and poofy black pants with stripes over a lavender shirt and boots. He is down on one knee with his arms spread with purple sparkles around his hands and is smirking. The ground is green with some pools of water around him. In the background are a city with white walls and a gray castle with a skull design. In the night sky are purple fireworks. The border is dark purple. In two corners are glowing purple hands, while in the other two are cherubs that look like Scanlan with musical instruments. The text on the label reads The Star. End ID.]

Taryon/The Fool | Keyleth/The High Priestess | Vex/The Empress | Grog/The Emperor | Jester/The Lovers | Beauregard/The Chariot | Caduceus/The Hermit | Veth/The Wheel of Fortune | Vax/The Hanged Man | Yasha/Death | Fjord/Temperance | Percy/The Devil | Caleb/The Tower | Mollymauk/The Moon | Pike/The Sun 

#critical role #criticalrolefanart #scanlan shorthalt #cr #tarot #cr tarot #syli makes things #in other news i am never drawing fireworks again

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E55

“What about shipping calculus? Isn’t the shipping calculus going to be interesting?” people have been asking, and boy oh boy have we wanted to deliver this quickly, but three things happened: 1) Three quarters of our staff took sick days after the episode aired because the anxiety made them physically ill, 2) the Angst Points statistical program we use was overloaded and we had to recalibrate it to handle larger loads of data, and 3) one asshole decided to write fanfiction on company time instead of doing their job.

+10 to Caleb/Cat-Shaped Creatures or in this case, cat-shaped spells. Caleb may have a big heart, but if you want a place in it you’ll have a tight squeeze beside his massive love for massive pointy-eared, bewhiskered, four-legged folk. Bonus points because Caleb’s cat-love apparently gives him game with the rest of the party, between Fjord’s MeeeOOOW and thinking Caleb’s spells are super sexy, Jester going right for Caleb’s goopy center with the “big heart” comment, and Caduceus Clay Grinning Like A Fool.

+10 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester between Jester’s “Caleb is going to kill me, and Fjord is going to finish me off!” belief of the two Charmed and Charming Men (alas, Jester, you could have been charmed with them!), and then Fjord and Jester both standing over Caleb’s unconscious body, desperately trying to keep him and each other alive. For the record, Caleb tried his best to help them too. Mostly he managed it by accidentally tanking and absorbing damage with his multiple KOs.

-2 to Jester/Succubus While Jester was open to the flirting and pursuing the relationship, the succubus decided Jester wasn’t her type after all.

-30 to Beau/Incubus Neither Beau nor the Incubus were each other’s types. What the nine hells was he thinking? If he’d only checked in with Caleb before trying, Caleb would have let him know he should spare himself the effort.

+15 to Fjord/Detective Work Fjord is definitely out to oust the Detective Agency as Wildemount’s #1 Detective, between discovering the beginnings of anchor glyphs being sketched in the tunnels (identified and destroyed by partner Caleb Widogast, rubbings taken by Beauregard), and then discovering the Big Bad Abyssal Anchor that had been causing all of their trouble in the first place (alongside partner Caduceus Clay, identified by partner Caleb Widogast). The Agency needs to work on defending their reputation! Perhaps those documents Nott located on the Succubus will help them gain some ground next week.

-10 to Caleb/Uk’otoa and Fjord/Uk’otoa as for the second time Caleb puts up his middle finger at Uk’otoa’s Super Special Powers and Anyone Fucking with the Wall of Fire. Fjord was sadly robbed of the chance to admire Caleb’s guns as he was knocked himself against some stalagmites by the bidet he summoned. He and Caleb are equally stinky now though, which seems….symbolic.

+15 to Caleb/Fjord as besides being the most compatible Detective Duo outside of the Agency, how Fjord shows Absolute Implicit Trust in everything Caleb says and does. Destroying the glyphs perhaps not a good idea? Absolutely shouldn’t destroy them. We should destroy the glyphs? What a wonderful idea! The only person to support Caleb’s Abyssal Riftmaker in the Bag of Holding idea before Caleb himself thinks better of it. Stays put for as long as Caleb asks in the tunnel, literally saying they’re staying put because Caleb said so, and coming forward again because he said so as well. Sure, he and everyone else got blasted to smithereens for it, but though Caleb/Leadership got -10 points, Fjord was probably mostly just impressed by Caleb’s ability to totally murder him and shoot down all his magical abilities. Concerned and hurting, yeah, bruised in body and ego, but a little turned on, all the same.

-5 Fjord/Self Confidence as Fjord attempts self affirmation exercises to build himself back up after Caleb Fucked Him Up, screaming “I’m not useless!” as he just barely manages to kill a quasit.

-50 Nott/Being a Team Player between healing the mildly-injured wizard in preference to all her other friends he brought to the precipice of death, and forgetting for the second time (third time?) that making things explode while her friends are around causes collateral damage. She’s picking up some bad habits from Caleb in the explosion department.

-3 Caleb/Humor No spell will ever make him laugh. Points mitigated because the joke was a bit questionable.

+8 to Beau/Tough Love. Tries the Diplomatic Friend approach with Caleb, nearly gets set on fire. But beating some sense into Yasha proves effective! Experiments show that fists are the only way to solve problems, guys. And she can do it from a distance now, hey!

+20 to Beau/Yasha. Did not know it was possible to gain so many points while the player for the character is absent! Nonetheless, Yasha continues to carry on the M9 shipping tradition from Fjord, not of having a crit of love, but having crit fails of love. It’s almost as if a part of Yasha was resisting hitting Beau in particular, but once Beau cottoned onto the fact that Yasha wasn’t on her ass in exactly the way she was hoping, Beau too carried on the M9 shipping tradition from Molly of beating your partner back into awareness. Yasha had to scamper off to murder a demon before she could get a kiss, though. Damn.

+4 to Jester/Beau as Jester begs for the enemy to come after her instead, and not Beau. Does the plea make logical, strategic sense, what with Beau’s higher AC, higher HP, and reaction punches? No, but love is rarely logical and strategic. Love is just love. Beau and Jester also bond once more over their love of chopping up dead demon bodies. Compatibility! Keeping the huge demon heart is probably symbolic of something.

+2 to Fjord/Jester as Fjord makes sure to choose Jester’s side of the flanking formation, just to make sure she doesn’t end up alone again.

+2 to Caleb/Jester Another rollercoaster week for a Jester ship! We should be glad we aren’t in negatives with these two! Peak Widojest with the “big heart” comment, with Jester telling Caleb to catch up, with Jester as always standing over Caleb’s unconscious body (whether faking or otherwise!), spending all her time healing him even before Fjord came to help, and dragging him away from the fray. #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress. How even casting spells against Caleb, Jester chooses the one that will make him less dangerous without hurting him. Points taken away because Jester chopping up bodies brings up supes unpleasant memories, and Caleb came terribly, terribly close to murdering Nugget. The dog is off limits. I guess we could mention Caleb nearly murdering Jester, too. There is that.

+2 to Caleb/Caduceus “I can definitely see you,” Caduceus says with delight as Caleb attempts to stealth. Alas, Caleb is concentrating on Srs Bussniss and does not respond to Caduceus’ poking (Question: Are all Cads ships fundamentally based on banter???) Caduceus trying very hard to heal Caleb in battle despite being in Lots Of Danger, and Caleb’s gift finally coming to use as Caduceus is knocked out for the crime of focusing too much on healing people besides himself. Caduceus making sure to give Caleb resistance while he tries to identify the Abyssal Anchor. I mean, gods forbid he should die, right???

+15 to Caduceus/Death “That was invigorating,” he said. Dying, but getting that sweet confirmation you are on the right path to your personal quest in the process? That’s great. That’s so cool. Can’t wait to do it again.

-20 Taliesin/Periapt of Wound Closure. That item is cursed for you, my guy. That’s 2/2 times you’ve used it and your characters have died. It’s dangerous!

-500 The CR Cast/Sam’s Terrible Beauregard Puns. Stop!!!!!!!!!!

+1000 yfere/Stress ..........................................................................this episode.................

#cr spoilers #critical role #widofjorester #widofjord #widojest #fjorester #clayleb #beauyasha #lavorregard #beaujester #jestregard #please blue gals fans....just pick one ship name so i can tag it #this ep was stressful and observations/calculations may have been affected #we're still troubleshooting the Stress Bug in the statistical software #shipping calculus

[birdiethebibliophile]

Just a quick college AU inspired by @losebetter‘s Fjord fanart that was Just Exactly Right. Started like a month ago and finished real quick this morning because I have two weeks left of grad school and that feels like a lot right now.

CW for mentions of mental health struggles but otherwise completely G.

Important things about this AU:

-       Jester, Beau, Caduceus, and Nott are all freshmen

-       Caleb’s the one upperclassman who stayed in the residence halls because he got a scholarship that covers room and board

-       Fjord is their RA who’s very bad at being an RA (he tries…) and has had to write Jester up for noise violations about five times. Jester always apologizes and promptly forgets about the quiet hours rules again

-       Beau and Jester have been dating since week two of the first semester, when Jester decided that she did not, in fact, have a crush on the cute RA and instead had a crush on her roommate

-       Caleb does, in fact, have a crush on the cute RA

-       Said cute RA also has a crush on Caleb but is determined to not let him know about it because that’s Not Allowed, RAs dating residents, so they’re just pining until Caleb at LEAST moves out of Fjord’s floor

-       Nott’s Caleb’s roommate and reminds him that he gets free meals on campus so there’s absolutely no reason to not eat

-       Caduceus has the single at the end. Well, it’s not actually a single, but his roommate Yasha is never around, so he’s mostly just filled her side of the room with potted plants

-----

Beau had her calculus notes spread out over an entire table and was doing chin-ups on the balcony of the residence hall lounge when Fjord walked in and set his laptop down on her scribbled algorithms. It was two in the morning the Friday before finals, and everyone was barely holding it together. Caleb was hunched over a linguistics textbook in one corner of the room, Jester was fast asleep and clutching her Ikea shark in another, and various freshmen had been stumbling in and out all night, telling each other that really, it was one semester, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they failed a few  tests.

“What’re you doing up?” Beau said, pulling herself back onto the balcony and into the room, closing the door behind her after seeing Jester shiver from the cool May breeze. “You on duty?”

“Nah,” Fjord said, pulling down the screen over one wall and blowing dust off the old-fashioned projector that always seemed to end up back in this room. “Just figured everyone needed a break from studying, including me.” He opened his laptop up and plugged it into the projector.

“I dunno about everyone else, but yeah, I sure do,” Beau said, flinging herself into the nearest armchair that wasn’t occupied. “Jes passed out about an hour ago in the middle of quizzing Nott on chemistry terms, so Nott ran out to get her some hot chocolate. She should be back soon.”

Fjord snapped his fingers. “That’s what I forgot. Okay, just a mo’.” As the projector hummed to complaining life, he opened Crunchyroll and pulled up an episode of Dragon Ball Z.

“Can you do Naruto instead?” Beau put in.

Fjord grinned at her. “Not this time. It’s a DBZ kind of night. Be right back. Tell Caleb that he should get his head out of his book for a few minutes.”

Beau sighed audibly and rolled her eyes, but once Fjord left the room, she started nudging Caleb. “Dude. Hey, dude. Time to take a break.”

Caleb looked up, his eyes taking a few seconds to focus. “Beauregard?”

“Fjord’s throwing an anime party in the middle of the night like the madman he is,” Beau said. “He told me to get you in on it.”

Caleb blinked up at the projector. “I suppose I have a few minutes,” he said, closing his textbook. “Do you know where Nott went?”

“She was going to make a convenience store run, I think,” Beau said.

“Did you tell her to get me more peach rings?” Caleb said hopefully.

“Dude, you’re going to turn orange if you eat any more of those things,” Beau said. “This is health advice from me, who once didn’t eat a vegetable for a week straight, so you should listen.”

“Beau?” Jester said sleepily, hugging her shark tighter. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

“Nothing, Jes, Fjord’s just being the kind and caring soul he is,” Beau said promptly.

Her girlfriend sat up and rubbed her eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said. “I was helping Nott.”

“Nott went out on a supply run, don’t worry about it,” Beau said. “We’re taking a break, anyway.”

“A cookie break?” Jester said.

“Depends on what Nott gets,” Beau replied.

Jester made her grumpy face – the one that scrunched her nose up and made her look like she had twice as many freckles as she usually did – and gestured Beau to come over. Beau obligingly went and gave her a big hug, at which point Jester shoved her off again. “You’re stinky,” she complained.

“You just think everyone should smell like a candy store all the time,” Beau countered.

“A’ight,” Fjord said as he walked back in, juggling the residence hall kitchen’s electric kettle and entire tea supply, as well as an assortment of mugs that looked like he must’ve raided five different thrift stores to get. “No coffee, Cay. No caffeine for any of you, and I swear, if Nott comes back with any of that shitty 4-hour energy stuff, I’ll –” He stopped as everyone stared at him. “Yeah, she’s right behind me, isn’t she.”

“Yes, she is, and she’d appreciate it if you’d give her a little credit,” Nott’s voice creaked from behind him. She was holding two plastic grocery bags. “I didn’t get Caleb any more coffee, instant or otherwise, and  I didn’t get him any energy drinks. There’s studies that those give you heart attacks and Caleb’s heart needs all the help it can get.”

“Oh! Donuts!” Jester squealed as Nott started unloading her bags, including two boxes of powdered donuts. “Nott, you are the beeest, I love you so much, I promise next time you get a cold I won’t be annoyed when you take all my Emergen-C.”

By now, the projector had powered up and started sending a weak signal to the screen on the wall. “Really? Not Naruto?” Nott complained, climbing over the various chairs cluttering the lobby and plopping herself into Caleb’s lap, all pointy limbs and large eyes.

“Why does everyone always want to watch Naruto?” Fjord said, exasperated. “Cay, you want some chamomile?”

“Ja, please,” Caleb says.

Fjord nods and turns the kettle on. “Anyone else?”

“I don’t need tea,” Nott says, ripping open a package of Chips Ahoy. “I have –”

“Nope, nope, RA in the room,” Fjord interrupts. “Whatever you were about to say, I’m probably not allowed to hear it. Jes?”

“Nott brought me hot chocolate,” Jester said, already dumping three hot chocolate packets into one of the mugs. “Deucey would probably like some tea but I think he’s in his room, d’you want me to go see?”

“Nah, don’t want to wake him up, it’s late,” Fjord said.

Beau plopped a teabag of green jasmine in her mug. “Not a word,” she added, jabbing a finger in Fjord’s direction. “Dairon said it’s good for me.”

“Also, you like the taste,” Fjord added.

“Also, I like the taste,” Beau muttered. “But you’re not allowed to tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“My lips are sealed,” Fjord assured her. “Everyone settled in and comfy?” He looked around the room, where his residents ten minutes ago had been buzzing with nervous energy, even asleep or absent. Now, they were all piled onto the old furniture of the room like they belonged there, clutching mugs and questionable snacks and sleepy eyes fixed on the dim projector screen. Caleb looked up at him and smiled, patting the chair next to him.

Fjord laughed a little and took the offered seat. “You have been working as hard as anyone,” Caleb said, peering at him over the reading glasses still perched on his face. “You can’t care for everyone else if you’re not caring for yourself.”

“Spoken like someone who knows what he’s talking about,” Fjord said, and let himself relax, at least for the moment.

Tomorrow, there would be finals, and patrolling the halls making sure no one was having a breakdown, and Jester would struggle through her history final, and Beau would frantically put the finishing touches on her sports health paper, and Caleb would ace his linguistics test and then go have a panic attack in the bathroom, but now, everyone was safe, and happy, hearts full of anime and bellies full of tea and processed sugar.

Just the way Fjord liked it.

#critfic #cr fic #college au #fjord #critical role #caleb widogast #beau #beauregard #jester #jester lavorre #nott the brave #mine #this is the first thing I've posted in months #god forgive me

[lifeisagiftshop4u-blog]

How To Use Crystal Gemstone Healing Wands

Stone age cave paintings depict figures holding wands. Hermes in Greek mythology - Mercury in Roman - holds a wand called a caduceus. In tarot, the Magician holds his double-terminated wand upward, pointing to both the heavens and the earth, teaching us that "as above, so below." One of the suits of the minor arcana is the suit of wands, representing the creative, fire element of that motto. Curved wands dating back to 2800 BC have been excavated in Egypt. Straight wands seem to have originated in northwestern Europe as a tool for garnering and directing energy.

How to use a healing wand:

Gemstone healing wands have the added advantage or wooden wands in that they attract and magnify through the qualities of the crystal. Wands that are rounded on one end are ideal as massage tools. The pointed end, if not too sharp, can be used to specifically direct the energy into acupressure points.

Some of the crystals that work particularly well in the wand form: amethyst healing wand, rose quartz healing wand and selenite healing wand. If you are looking for a chakra healing wand, you might want to consider a composite wand which is comprised of seven different stones that work on the seven different primary chakras, such as red jasper, orange calcite, yellow jade, serpentine, turquoise, sodalite and amethyst.

There are a lot of choices as to gemstones, lengths, width, shape and quality. Avoid wands that have a shattered appearance within the stone. Those were most likely mined with dynamite and will not work well for the purpose of a healing wand. Ideally, you want a wand with one end that is rounded and one end that is pointed. It's okay if the point has been cut and polished to achieve a perfect point. Choose a wand that is not too heavy or wide for you to hold comfortably. Different shapes serve different purposes. You may want to collect all of the following: six-sided wands, smooth column wand, twisted wand, graduated wand and a composite wand.

Healing wands come in many shapes and sizes – and are made of a variety of materials. Many are cylindrical and may or may not be faceted. Often healing wands have a rounded end and a pointed end, though sometimes both ends are rounded or both ends are pointed. You can use natural crystal and/or stone wands to take advantage of the stone’s natural energetic qualities.

Different stones have different healing benefits and energies, so you may want more than wand to address different matters.

The rounded end of a healing wand is the feminine pole and is receptive in nature. It receives. It draws energy into itself from wherever it is placed on the body.

Conversely, the pointy end of a healing wand is masculine and focuses or directs energy from what is stored in the feminine end out towards the place on the body it is placed.

Healing wands can be used in more ways than application on people and animals. You can take a piece of paper and on one side write the word for what you want. On the other side write your name or place your photo. Then take your wand and place the feminine side where the word of what you want is written and point the pointed end towards your name or picture.

A healing wand can also be used for massage. This is easier on the hands as the wand is held in a grip more natural to the strength of the muscles of human hands. The wand should held so that the point points away from the person being massaged. Only the rounded end should be used for massage. The rounded end will draw out compacted energy where it is used for massage relieving pressure on the nerves from the tight muscles and allowing the muscles the smooth out.

You can use the pointed end by holding it slightly above the person's body. Doing this allows the individual to receive the maximum benefits from the wand's crystal properties.

You can also participate in the healing process. Do this when you yourself feel grounded and positive. Don't focus attention through the wand if you're having a bad day or feel fatigued or dealing with an illness. Ask the person you are working on what area they would most like addressed. Touch the area and confirm the location. Then ask what color they are feeling there. Then ask what color seems like the right color to neutralize or improve the feeling in that area. Go ahead and massage the area where the person was holding tightness or pain and it feels loose or at least more relaxed, flip the wand so that the point is about half an inch above the same area imagine the color the person identified as neutralizing or beneficial streaming into wand and focusing through the point and flowing into the needed area.

For more information about Healing Gemstone Beads visit our website: https://www.lifeisagiftshop.com/

#Healing Crystal Beads #Healing Gemstone Beads #Healing Gemstone Bead Bracelet

[sylibane]

Mollymauk/The Moon

While I’ve seen some other fan artists doing cards match Molly with Death or the Devil, the Moon can represent deception, illusion, dreams, and even (in one interpretation I found) the loss of the self to a greater consciousness, so I think it fits quite nicely. Especially given recent developments.

Also I have never drawn that coat before and am not going to do so again for a while.

[ID: a digitally drawn tarot card of Mollymauk from Critical Role. He has lavender skin, curly dark hair, curled horns with jewelry, red eyes, pierced pointy ears, scars on his neck, chest, and forearms, and a tail, and is wearing a crimson coat with numerous occult symbols over a white shirt, baggy multicolored sleeves, dark pants with stripes and diamonds, and high boots. He’s standing on one foot with his other just off the ground and has his head turned to look at a tarot card with a pyramid and eye in one hand. Behind him is a night sky with a large full moon and two nondescript towers. In front of him is a pool; however, the reflection is tinted red and shows snowy ground. The person reflected is shown from the mid-leg down standing still, with winter clothes and a lavender tail. The border of the card is crimson with the same occult symbols as the coat, but around the bottom, it becomes a bright red with eyes. The label reads ‘The Moon’. End ID]

Taryon/The Fool | Keyleth/The High Priestess | Vex/The Empress | Grog/The Emperor | Jester/The Lovers | Beauregard/The Chariot | Caduceus/The Hermit | Veth/The Wheel of Fortune | Vax/The Hanged Man | Yasha/Death | Fjord/Temperance | Percy/The Devil | Caleb/The Tower |  Scanlan/The Star | Pike/The Sun

#critical role #criticalrolefanart #mollymauk tealeaf #cr #tarot #cr tarot #syli makes things #scars #im pretty sure i simplified the detailing on the coat #and it and the border are still some of the most intricate things ive done in ages

[birdiethebibliophile]

{fic} Dear Traveler

Fandom:  Critical Role (Wildemount Campaign) Rating:  T Warnings: Nott-typical body image, references to sex Relationship:  Nott/Jester Word Count:  2,544

Here on AO3.

I’m going to have to start a whole collection for fics that are just about Jester kissing girls and I’m not sorry at all. Pretty much unadulterated fluff with one (1) moment of hurt/comfort because I have a brand to uphold.

Summary:  

Jester tells the Traveler everything, especially about her friends, and especially one friend who she loves very much and maybe - maybe - thinks is very pretty.

__________________

“Dear Traveler,” Jester said. She was lying on her tummy on her bed, and she had her sketchbook open, and she was using some very pretty paints that Caleb had bought  for her last time they were at the markets to draw bea-oo-tee-ful pictures for the Traveler. “I had a good day, mostly, and I put one of your little statues that I made in a place no one would expect it.” She gave a happy little wriggle, and her spaded tail curled over her shoulder. She had put the tiny hooded figure right on top of the sign of the bookstore Caleb had dragged her to, to buy the paints and also lots of paper, of course. It was right at tiefling eye level, but you couldn’t see it unless you turned just the right way, and then there it was. “I am going to have a sleepover with my friend Nott, you remember Nott, I tell you about her allllllll the time, I am doing that tonight. Maybe we are going to talk about our detective agency, and I got lots of pastries, and nail polish because it’s pretty and I think Nott likes being pretty.”

Jester screwed up her face and added more yellow to Nott’s eyes on the page. “I don’t think she thinks she’s pretty, I think,” she told the Traveler. “Just because she is a goblin, but I think that’s silly. All sorts of people can be pretty. Humans like Beau and half-orcs like Fjord and firbolgs like Caduceus and tieflings like me. Well, obviously tieflings because my mama is a tiefling and she is the most  beautiful person in the world,  but I am just saying  that like, she says her pointy teeth are scary, but I have pointy teeth too, and Fjord has his eensy-weensy tusks, so it isn’t that. Or her eyes, but Fjord has yellow eyes too, and Molly had really glowy red eyes. And she is green, but so is Fjord.” Jester chewed thoughtfully on the end of her paintbrush, the part that didn’t have paint all over it. “Fjord and Nott have a lot in common, but they fight a lot. That’s funny.”

There’s a knock on the door. “Come in!” Jester sang out, and the door cracked open, and Nott scuttled in, clutching bottles of nail polish.

“Is Beau going to be here tonight?” Nott asked.

“Nooooo, she has some boring thing she wanted to go to,” Jester said with a pout. “It doesn’t even involve beating anyone up, I think, which I don’t know why it would be fun if no one is getting beat up. Or getting their nails painted. Did you bring the book?”

“Ah, yes,” Nott said, hopping up on the bed. She set down a ragged towel – stained from when they painted their nails before and Jester maybe spilled the bottle a little bit – the bottles, and a book that she got from the bookstore when they were there earlier. “It’s a different one, not Tusk Love,  see?” Nott said in her creaky voice, pointing at the cover. A half-orc was batting her eyelashes at a swooning tiefling lady in her arms. “They’re both girls, I hope that’s okay.”

“We’re both girls!” Jester pointed out brightly. “It looks really good, Nott, thanks!”

“Oh, ah, no problem,” Nott said. “What do you want to do first? We have pastries, and the nail polish, and the book. Or we could just talk. Like, girl talk.”

“I love girl talk,” Jester said, bouncing slightly in place, her tail whipping from side to side and almost hitting the headboard of the bed. “I don’t get to girl talk with anyone,  Beau likes punching people too much and Yasha is so quiet and Caduceus isn’t a girl, though I don’t think he is maybe all the way a boy either,” she added, almost as an afterthought. “And Caleb and Fjord are boys.”

“Okay, how about I paint your nails, and we play… Truth or Dare?” Nott suggested.

Jester clapped her hands. “Oh, I like that game! I haven’t played it much, just once or twice or maybe zero times because one time I played it with the Traveler but he wasn’t actually there so it was really just me and I dared myself to climb up the roof and I did it.” Jester giggled. This was going to be fun.

“All right, you go first, then,” Nott said, unscrewing a bottle of sparkly red nail polish and taking one of Jester’s hands. Nott’s fingernails were sharp, Jester always noticed, but she was always very gentle with Jester. “Truth or dare?”

“Ummmm.” Jester grabbed her tail and held it in her lap so she wouldn’t accidentally knock over the nail polish while she was thinking. “Dare.”

Nott grinned. She wasn’t wearing her bandages or her mask tonight, and that made Jester happy, though she wasn’t quite sure why. She liked when Nott felt comfortable enough to show her whole entire face, no hood or anything, even. “I dare you to go ask Fjord if he wants his nails painted.”

Jester gasped, a scandalized sound. “Nott! He and Caleb are in your room tonight! They might be –” She lowered her voice. “Having seeeeex or something.”

“I know,” Nott said smugly.

“Okay okay, wait, I still have a third level spell slot, I can use Sending to do it,” Jester said, and scrunched up her nose. “Twenty-five words. Hello Fjord, it is Jester, Nott is painting my nails and she dared me to ask you if you wanted your nails painted too.”

Little busy at the mo’, Jester,  Fjord’s reply came back after a second, and Jester squealed and jumped so hard she almost knocked the nail polish over anyways.

“No, no, don’t, I don’t want to hear it!” Nott said as soon as Jester opened her mouth. “No, ah, Truth. Wait, fuck, Dare –”

“You already said Truth,” Jester said, settling back in. “What is… the scariest thing that ever happened to you?”

“The day on the snake island,” Nott replied without hesitation. “Other hand.” Jester switched hands and blew on her nails. She wished she had Prestidigitation – she could dry them immediately with that. “It was really scary and the worst day of my entire life. I almost drowned.”

“I almost drowned too,” Jester said. “And then Fjord breathed air back into me and I didn’t.”

“Oh yeah,” Nott said. “Your first kiss.”

“Yeahhhh, well, it wasn’t really  my first kiss,” Jester said. “I mean, yes, it was, but he wasn’t really kissing me, you know, because I was drowning and stuff, and I needed air. And so that was nice, to have air again.”

“Has he kissed you again since?” Nott asked. “Or – oh, have you kissed him?”

“No, of course not,” Jester said scornfully. “All his kissing is going to Caleb, now, which is very nice, because I feel like Caleb probably needs lots and lots of kisses.”

“You got that right,” Nott said. “Do you want another dare?”

“I can’t do a lot of dares without messing up my nail polish,” Jester realized in disappointment.

“Just truths then?” Jester nodded. “All right,” Nott said. “Well, I sort of already asked you a question, about Fjord. So you can ask me one now, if you want.”

“Okay.” Jester glanced around, trying to come up with an idea, and her eyes landed on the book that wasn’t Tusk Love.  “Have you everrrrr… kissed another girl?” she asked Nott.

“No,” Nott said. “I’ve kissed a boy, though.”

Jester tilted her head to the side as Nott finished her last finger. “Would you ever want to kiss a girl?”

“It depends on the girl,” Nott said primly. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

Jester giggled. “That’s what Truth or Dare is, though, kissing and telling!”

“It’s not all about kissing,” Nott protested, but she was smiling too, and Jester could see all her sharp teeth. Really, Jester thought, Nott wasn’t ugly at all, even a little bit. Her skin was a very pretty shade of green, and her ears were big, and her hair would probably be really nice, when it was washed and stuff.

Nott was pretty.

“Do you want me to paint your nails now too?” Jester asked.

“No, you should at least wait for yours to dry,” Nott said, screwing the top back on the nail polish. “You can do mine after. My turn to ask.” She put the bottle in her pocket like she wasn’t thinking about it, then paused and took it out again. She made a funny face. At least, Jester thought it was funny. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be funny, though, because when Nott spoke again, her voice sounded weird. Jester thought it sounded a little like Caleb’s did right before he got really quiet for a long time.

“Why are you friends with me?” Nott asked.

“That’s your question?” Jester said, confused.

“Yeah,” Nott said. “Just. Answer it. Please.”

“I’m friends with you,” Jester said, “because I really like you, Nott. You’re funny and super smart, like, the smartest of any of us except for maybe Caleb –”

“No one’s smarter than Caleb,” Nott interrupted.

“Yeah, but you’re still very  smart,” Jester said insistently. “And you’re fun to talk to and you understand things, sometimes, and you listen to me. I like  you, Nott. Do you think we would be detectives together if I didn’t like you?”

“I don’t know,” Nott said. She grabbed her feet so she was all scrunched up. “Lots of people don’t like me. I steal shit and I drink a lot. You, ah, you don’t drink at all.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, though,” Jester scoffed. “I’m friends with everybody else and they drink too, except Caduceus. And Beau steals mail.”

“But I’m a goblin,” Nott burst out. “I’m green and ugly and horrible and –”

“Nott! Nott, Nott, Nott,” Jester said.

“Yes?” Nott said in a very small voice.

“Nott, I don’t care that you’re a goblin,” Jester said, and she tried to make her words sound true, because they were, and she was afraid Nott wasn’t going to believe her. “I mean, I hope someday you don’t have to be a goblin anymore because I want you to be happy, but I like you like this.”

“You do?” Nott said, and her voice was still so small, and Jester wanted so, so badly to make it big again.

“Yeah,” Jester said. “I think your ears are really nice, and I think it’s really cool how your eyes are yellow and they can get really big in the dark, and I think your skin is a nice color and I think your hair is really pretty.” Oops. She didn’t mean to say that one.

Nott’s ears lifted up a little. “You do?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jester said. “I think all of you is pretty, Nott.”

Nott crept a little closer to her, and Jester felt her heart beat a little faster. “Even my teeth?” she said, and bared them.

“Even your teeth,” Jester said, baring her own pointy tiefling teeth back. “…Do you think I’m pretty?”

“You’re very pretty, Jester,” Nott said, and her voice was soft, but it was a different kind of soft than before. It was a nice kind of soft, Jester thought, a soft she wanted to wrap herself in like a blanket. Nott came a few inches closer, and now she was almost in Jester’s lap, and Jester maybe wanted Nott to be in her lap, maybe.

“You know how I said I never kissed a girl?” Jester said, and she didn’t know what the word for scared and saying things anyway was but that was how she felt. Traveler,  she thought, I hope you are helping out here because I don’t know what I’m doing but I think maybe it’s good.

“I do,” Nott said, and she crawled into Jester’s lap. She fit there, it seemed to Jester. Right between Jester’s round thighs, easy to hold.

Jester’s tail snuck forward and wound around Nott’s waist and Jester grabbed it. “Sorry,” she said.

“No,” Nott said. “It’s okay.”

And then Nott kissed her.

It was a little tricky with the sharp teeth and fangs and stuff, but Jester kissed her back, and maybe she was kissing a girl but she was also kissing Nott  and Nott was one of her best friends and her detective partner and that, Jester thought, was what made it a good kiss. She took Nott’s face in her hands, not worrying about the nail polish anymore, because she was worried maybe Nott would change her mind, that she would think that Jester didn’t actually want to kiss her, but Jester did very much. She very much wanted to kiss Nott and to keep kissing Nott.

“Wow,” Nott said when they finally stopped kissing because they had to breathe. That was funny, Jester thought – her last first kiss had been because she couldn’t breathe, but this time, it was the kiss that took all her breath away. “Wow, Jessie. That was really nice.” Nott was smiling really big now with all of her teeth, and that made Jester happy the same way Nott taking off her bandages and mask when they were together did.

“It was really nice for me, too,” Jester said. “Nott? Do you think, maybe –” She stopped and scrunched up her nose a little. Maybe she shouldn’t say the next part.

“What?” Nott asked, and she sounded a little anxious instead of happy like she was a second ago, so Jester thought she should probably say it anyways.

“Do you think maybe we could be girlfriends?” Jester asked, and her voice came out like a whisper and that seemed funny to her, so she started giggling.

That made Nott start giggling as well. “Girlfriends?” she said. “Like in the book I got today?”

“Yeah!” Jester said, more enthusiastically now. “We like each other a lot, and we like kissing each other, and I guess we’re basically  girlfriends already. And if we don’t like it we could stop.”

“That’s true,” Nott agreed. “That sounds nice.”

“I can take you on a date!” Jester exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “We can go to a pastry shop and I can buy you so many – oh, I think we’re going to have to redo my nail polish. It got all messy.”

“Well, if yours is already ruined, you can do mine,” Nott said, putting the bottle in Jester’s hand. “Now we’re not just girl friends, we’re girlfriends.”

Jester was going to have so much to tell the Traveler, she thought. About nail polish and books and sleepovers and her girlfriend,  Nott the Brave. But for now, she painted Nott’s nails.

 That night after Nott was asleep, curled up by Jester’s head, Jester opened her sketchbook again. “Dear Traveler,” Jester whispered. “I have a girlfriend and she is the prettiest person in the whole world, even if she doesn’t think so.” As she talked, Jester drew the sleepover into her sketchbook with her very prettiest paints: yellow for Nott’s eyes, green for Nott’s skin, and pink for Nott’s nails and the little heart Jester painted above her.

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