#edit: OH holding Starscream is like trying to cuddle a cat. Interpret that as you will

[eldritchships]

Hey do you think you can rate your f/os based on how well you can hold them?

Ooo sure thing! I picked a few of the current Main Guys to rate

Shockwave - The rating definitely depends on whether we're talking about me (the human) or Flatline. Shockwave is much bigger, in both scenarios, but I would only be able to hold a small area like his head or his finger. It wouldn't be super satisfying. Flatline on the other hand is bigger, so he can reasonably get the top half of the bastard in his arms. It's still kind of awkward to position, and I think Shockwave would start to get restless after a bit, but it's enjoyable enough for both parties. 2/10 if it's me, a human. 7/10 if it's Flatline.

Bowser - He would crush me immediately, making him the world's most effective and deadly weighted blanket. On the plus side, I think he is always quite warm, since he breathes fire and all. Very cosy, if a little harder to breathe. 9/10

Blurr - Now THIS is a satisfying hug. The guy is always on his feet, I think if you offered to hold him he would start out a little stiff, but then almost immediately go completely boneless into it. He's pretty slim, minus the car parts attached to his body, so it's easily to get your arms around him and squeeze tight. 10/10

Caleb - Similar to Blurr but he sinks into it immediately. You'd think he was trying to be absorbed into your being. It can be tricky to organise, because Caleb is a bit of an emotional mess (but he is improving by the end of the story! So points for that), but once it happens it is so nice for both parties involved. 9.5/10

Faust - He tries his best, he really tries. But he is 9ft tall and built like a pack of spaghetti, it just does not work easily for me/Angus, who is maybe 5'4. Luckily I am a stubborn man, and even though it'll take a few minutes of managing limbs, it's possible to find a position that's relatively comfortable. I think he also makes a lot of pleased noises while he's being held, which is very cute. 6/10

And I threw in a couple of platonic F/Os as well, just because:

Caduceus - ANOTHER big boy, Caduceus is 7ft and a little on the thin side. However, he canonically gives good hugs, and his voice makes a nice rumble in his chest that's nice to rest against. I think he'd enjoy being the cuddled instead of the cuddler for once. "This is nice :)" <- Cow man rapidly approaching a state of bliss. 9/10

Soundwave - Solid, relaxed, could use the opportunity to chill from his responsibilities. Very happy to just be held while he does his own thing, and while the shoulders might be a bit bulky, he's otherwise pretty well shaped for holding. Only exception is maybe his Transformers Prime design, which is a bit more pointy and there might be some wiggling to find a position that doesn't poke. 8/10

#thank you for asking! #this was a good question I got to think about holding my favourite characters for half an hour :) #I know it's not really canon that Cad has a tail but imagine that thing waggin like crazy #edit: OH holding Starscream is like trying to cuddle a cat. Interpret that as you will