#all they asses can flop

[shedontlovehuhself]

This has me in stitches because it's truuuuueeee! 🤭🤭

#spain and portugal did the nastiest colonization no look at em #germany belgium netherlands france #all they asses can flop #the united states is flopping right now #i just need it to flop harder #colonizers #china japan y'all ain't getting away either #queen elizabeth #the queen dead #the queen #*now look at them

[notsoevilmagistrate]

Reading American Psycho and god, Patrick is so pathetic, somehow even more so than in the movie. He saw a lady on a bench sipping coffee and assumed her to be homeless(because he’s an ignorant FUCK and doesn’t pay attention to shit), and tosses a dollar into her FULL COFFEE CUP, causing the most awkward situation known to man.

#american psycho #patrick bateman #patrick constantly gives me secondhand embarrassment I swear #I can’t take him seriously #neither can any of his ‘friends’ #they all think he’s pathetic 😭 #wet ass cat of a man #I constantly wanna strangle him but it flip flops from coming out of a source of anger and a source of pity #like bro let me take out of your misery #anyway he’s crazy and drives ME crazy/neg #book is still funny though I love it

[bugsbenefit]

scary that there's still Will bowlcut haters around. like... that's his core character design, it looks nice too. sorry to all the different hairstyle enjoyers out there but Will without a bowlcut simply wouldn't be Will to me. that's the side effect of them doubling down on that one single hairstyle for 8 years. they can style it different or make it messier sure, but he needs Some version of a bowlcut otherwise who is that

#Duffers did it to themselves #if they'd change the haircut Now i'll call the s5 hair department a flop no hesitation #not because it would look bad but simply because That's Not My Will that's just noah schnapp with a wig #also unrelated side tangent ik this is just about silly hcs but anytime i talk about Will's hair i get annoyed about how the #bowlcut became the minion meme equivalent of the fandom #i simply refuse to believe people actually hate bowlcuts that much that has to be some kind of moist phenomenon #i've never in my life seen someone irl make fun of bowlcuts or personally even noticed one as 'strange' #but go online and there's apparently consensus that bowlcuts are cringe or something? lmao? #you can probably imagine how surprised i was when i found the st fandom for the first time and everyone just kept talking about Will's hair #when it's literally a normal ass haircut #and meanwhile no one realized that Mike also had a bowlcut for 3 seasons. i swear 'Will bowlcut lmaoo' just became a meme #i'm convinced half of these people don't even know what a bowlcut looks like since they apparently can't recognize one #side tangent over this had nothing to do with what people are talking about actually 😭 #my furstration about the way a fucking haircut out of all things became the funny stinger of the show apparently never goes away #and comes back out any time i type the word hair.... oh well #ignore the tags i was having a moment (flashback having nothing to say after a show besides 'the hairrr 😭')

[swordmaid]

so I was looking up the tenets for lolth’s paladins and I found this little list. not sure how canon exactly this is but I thought it was interesting -

kind of laughing that shri’iia does the exact opposite in act 1 which leads to her oath breaking. she girlflopped so badly lolth decides to drop her ass then prob hunt her ass down for being an embarrassment and a failure. like girly was not exerting her power at all - it’s her first time in the surface ever and she’s surrounded by people who could literally kill her any given moment (considering all the stories she heard abt how surface dwellers hates drow) not to mention that the tieflings you encounter when you see lae’zel were ready to attack you that just fueled her paranoia. > she was not sowing discord at all she was laying low and keeping her mouth shut …!! she has no allies here! and she doesn’t know where she is! and there’s an illithid tadpole in her head! it would be foolish of her to paint herself as an enemy when she’s already so out of her environment so she keeps her mouth shut … thoughts to herself … bides her time and sees who’s useful to her and who’s not … she can always get rid of the ones that she doesn’t need later but for now she’s seeing what she can work with first …… > have a plan… shri’iia had no plans…. at all. she was following lae’zel around because the crèche was her only lead … but then they mentioned a druid named halsin who’s a very good healer so she turned her objective to that … then a goblin mentions their priestess is a healer too so guess she’s looking for her as well… honestly who thought making the drow who’s never been to the surface and literally does not know where she is or what she's doing the leader of the group a good idea….. in my hc the leader is gale

#but I’m like 🤭🤭🤭 at the idea of shri’iia being considered an embarrassment by Lolth just bc apparently lolth paladins are pretty rare #like she doesn’t give her blessings easily and they mostly go to her clerics but to a paladin … and for someone who’s not noble birth too…. #like she had potential ..!! she was mentored by a matriarch of a noble house ..!! but then she flopped soo badly 😭😭 #and I hc mid/the end of act 1 she still hasn’t accepted that she’s an oathbreaker and she’s still delusional thinking that she can get #lolth’s favour again it’s like no 💗 girly. she hates your ass 💓 if you ever return to menzoberranzan she’ll turn you into a drider probably #and it’s only in act 2 where she accepts that she is an Oathbreaker. and she does Not need Lolth. and Lolth doesn’t deserve her (delusion) #but I love that idea for her bc she was So proud of herself … and she devoted herself to her goddess to the point that her sense of self is #essentially Gone.. but then she gets rejected. so now the thing she’s most proud of is taken away from her #by HER own actions no less .. like she can’t blame anyone bc it’s her own fault ..!! and that’s what stings more ..!!!!! she’s the one who #fumbled the bag … so it’s like where do u go when the very thing you dedicated your whole life to rejected you #and you’re so far away from home. and you CAN’T even go back home.. where do you go. no choice but to keep going…. #then she eventually accepts the role as an oath breaker bc it's the only thing she has left. her oath no longer binds her ; every choice #she makes is hers and hers alone.. which is so ..!! girls when you're faced to reclaim your own agency or else you'll fall into the void #you're left with ...!!!!!!! also it is so perfect bc the oathbreaker dialogues are all abt freedom and agency of self. #being free from dogma and making your own decisions! and you also want others to be free too … #and the fact that the oath breaker knight helps you make that decision I hc she becomes similar to him as well #where if someone chooses they want to be free she will help them … but it has to be their own choice … #which ties in perfectly with the act 2 and 3 quests esp for the companions .. all abt making ur own decisions … #so the leadership role goes from gale then to her … #should be heading to bed bc I have an early start tomorrow but hrk head filled w thoughts of my oc... #but act 1 shri'iia is essentially her getting such a bad grade at being Lolth-Sworn Drow that lolth disowns her 😭 #im so ill at the thought of her not being able to return to menzo tho ... i dont think the underdark is safe for her either like she should #b getting hunted like sport .... maybe thats why she released the vampire spawns down there lol #like <3 revenge. everyone loves revenge especially an ex oath of vengeance girly <3

[saintlesbian]

once again I still think finn and Liz are better as friends, but also I think what’s very irritating about this pairing is that they aren’t really playing a part in any major plotlines rn, so seeing them show up feels like these two have been paired together to hit contract minimums in the meantime, like they’re in this romance story holding pattern until the writers figure out what to do next…

#pentababbles #general hospital #now of course. not every character needs to be contributing to a major plotline all the time #but with fiz it feels like this awkward romance is their whole plot… #comparing to other couples most of the others at least serve multiple plot functions #chalynn has the internal conflict of blq committing corporate espionage threatening to undermine the relationship again #and the external conflicts of blq’s dad being an amnesiac while chase is investigating a murder #sprina has the internal conflict of spencer having to raise his brother with clingy Esme #and the external conflict of Trina’s paternity reveal + Curtis getting shot + Portia’s neurotic ass #sante hasn’t had too much internal conflict they’re mostly chilling #but both of them are involved in external investigations related to major plots #fiz hasn’t had much going for them in a while. aside from passively remarking on what some other main characters are doing… #…they’re pretty disengaged from everything else. #last time they had a relevant plot it was mostly retconning Liz’s history to try making Finn relevant (flop btw) #and then Liz helping nik keep Esme prisoner and confessing to the crime. what now? #like idk much about Finn but Liz is a character with a 25 year history theres gotta be SOMETHING y’all can work with here #ugh whatever I’m in my hater era again lol

[selenealwayscries]

This is Zedaph propaganda . go watch Zedaph

#moondrop.txt #zedaph #Zedaph Ethology™ #king why would you edit the clips like this . the silent stare when the music plays . the jump cut to the parrot dancing #he immediately followed it up by saying that he thinks its not that bad btw . king whats wrong with your ears #also i can feel him staring into my soul . why did he do that #zedaph makes me lose control /exhaustion #my brain just told me to clip all of his ass jokes and make a compilation of them . someone stop me please #ever since i got flmora its all downhill . ive gained too much power #anyways i have a lecture to stress over so no more rambles *flops right onto my plate of food while everyone at the table stares in horror*

[merevide]

in my permanent flop era over on twitter i’m not even being dramatic this time

#i’m gonna b using this gif a lot #whenever i tweet smth that isn’t a quote tweet about media i get 100 views and 0 likes. yeah it’s over #my retweets are basically carrying my notifications i’m crying yeah it’s never been more over than now #i knew the end was near when i posted a poll and it got zero votes. i knew then. i knew #have the urge to tweet i know y’all see my tweets do u all hate me am i unfunny what is it. but i won’t #bc that’s gonna get ignored also this means i can kinda post whatever i want but it’s so lonely FUCK #whenever i post the most basic ass tweet about media i get likes but when i don’t i get no likes like what am i to y’all #when i flop on this app it’s fine idc but on twitter? it’s like smth else #i be like yeah i’m only on twitter for my mutuals meanwhile my mutuals probs dgaf it hurts sooo bad #my text

[kittlyns]

Samsung guy also had the audacity to tell me to "just make a new account" and I got so mad cuz like. my only hope of seeing any of my memories from the past 5 years of my life are connected to that one account, and it's not even a guarantee. But it's still a small hope and I'm not giving it up.

#so I told him my daughter died and my only chance of seeing her again if I was able to log in to the cloud from my samsung account #shitty thing to do? yes ofc. #but also I'm frustrated with people continuously telling me to just make new accounts when my entire life from the age of 10+ is trapped #inside of accounts that I'll never be able to get into again without the help of like. 3 key accounts. #and 2 of those 3 have done fuck all to help #I'm just tired and this entire week has been a nightmare. #and it has been 8 days now. 8 days of damn near endless agony. #I'm gonna get a goddamn ulcer at this rate #anyways. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. My mom will let me use her phone to call a few places and hopefully I can get everything sorted out #please. god. universe. whatever or whoever. the bitch that cursed my ass. #it was funny and I've learned a very valuable lesson of hubris and patience and whatever else I was supposed to learn #can I just be okay now. can it be over. can I get on with my life and go back to being depressed over stupid shit #I'm just soooooo tired now. #flip-flopping between apathy and rage is an exhausting exercise

[floorpancakes]

ponytail watanuki

#xxxholic #that is all #LISTEN IMAGINE HIM HAVING LONG HAIR #not to tie him to flop clow reed i just think itd be cute as hell #long hair long hair long hair #effervescent i would simply explode on impact #i feel like cause he wears glasses too the act of someone fiddling with tjeir glasses or tying their hair up is moe #its not like hes not extremely gender already #lets all just communally think about it free serotonin #not like a half ass 'socially acceptable' 1 inch longer than default long hair like all sorts of long lengths #long hair kinda like yuuko or even kinda pantalone/clow-y could be fun but also #hed probably suit a bob haircut kinda like bruno jjba #itd be funny if it was like accidental symmetry w shizuka LOL #like the hairstyle evolution being in reverse #in general i just love thinking abt character aesthetics i have unga bunga fashion brain #once i can draw better and more consistently itll make sense #broooo imagine him tying his hair up into a ponytail tho #got me acting up like a victorian man seeing an ankle #the gap moe of this ethereally pretty character who is just the lamest mf imaginable.....

[theold-ultraviolence]

sorry if anyone was expecting more of the vday ficlet fest I was being consummed by movie!projectionist Aemond and I couldn't be stopped. Not even done with that one yet lol.

#out of all the things I could've done today all I did was write this thing #it's currently sitting at 3k words but I'm halfway through it still #I'm so excited to share it I was like 'well maybe I'll do it as a multichapter so I can share what I have' but my multichapters flop #so a long ass fic it is #oh man tomorrow is gonna be hell because I'm gonna have to catch up on all the homework I didn't do today because of this LMAO #ugh who cares #I hate having to do homework for that fucking master's so bad

[taibobo]

the funniest aspect of jonadam is the fact that they are a nerd/bully duo who both think they have the upper hand in the situation in some way and both of them are wrong

#mycotxt #Jonah literally acts like adam is like the most gullible ass idiot on the planet #which like . he can be a little dense but he certainly is not as stupid as jonah thinks he is #Meanwhile adam thinks that jonah is so one track minded that he could easily double cross him but he just doesn’t want to #Which is also like. a gross overestimation of his own abilities . They’re both flops #Caroline is the only one with a semblance of authority in this situation at all and that’s only in the fact that she handles the money #When it comes to those two hashing it out she is like I will simply not intervene #Aint none of my business…. #oc: jonah #oc: adam #oc: caroline

[taeminshomosexualvape]

do not put stupid nctzen infighting on my dash this week i can’t think of a less appropriate time to do this

#DURING EXO COMEBACK WEEK? SIT DOWN FOR ONE WEEK #‘127 the only talented performers in all of nct’ ‘fuck ass dream’ ‘wayv flop group’ EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!! #WHO CARES ABT UR WRONG OPINIONS ABOUT NCT!!!! IT IS EXO WEEK. AND LAST WEEK WAS SHINEE WEEK!!! CAN U PLEASE FIND JOY IN THE WORLD 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[lilithland]

imagine you wake up in a dark room, scared and confused, your hands are tied together above your head, your legs are spread apart on a metal bar

you look down and are horrified, all of your clothes except your panties have been removed, you’re freezing, your nipples painfully hard

you go to scream but find a ball gag in your mouth, you start struggling against the chains, sobbing

a large man walks in

“oh, is my cocksleeve finally awake?”

you look up at him and he takes in your disheveled state

“i’m gonna turn you into my perfect little fuck doll and i’m gonna start by breaking in your tiny cunt and tight ass”

you struggle against the chains more and he groans at the sight, he approaches and you realize just how absolutely humongous he is, you’ve never been more scared in your life

he pulls your panties to the side

“is my dirty whore already wet?”

there’s no way

but as his fingers start to slide between your juicy lips you can feel how leaky you are

he slips two massive fingers inside of you, already creating a stretch

he goes slow, finger fucking you like he has all the time in the world, your stomach fills with dread because he does have all the time in the world, you’re completely at his mercy

he starts scissoring his fingers inside you, you moan around the gag causing drool to drip onto your exposed tits

you’re humiliated and horrified with yourself, you leak around his hand

he painfully twists one of your nipples causing you to groan, drip, and drool again

he adds a third finger in without warning and it feels like you’re about to be split open

he fucks his fingers in and out of your crying cunt at an abusing pace until suddenly they’re gone

you moan around the gag, dripping more at the humiliation of your own body’s betrayal

“don’t worry, you’ll be filled right back up little girl”

you struggle against the chains more, frantically shaking your head back and forth as he pulls his dick out

he’s huge, you don’t even think the tip would fit, let alone his entire length

“don’t worry sweetheart, daddy’s gonna make it fit”

he approaches you and starts to rub his tip up and down your pussy lips, collecting your juices and causing you to leak even more

despite your wetness, when he does finally decide to push his tip in, it doesn’t go in first try

he grabs your hips and slowly forces his tip into your unwilling hole

when he finally shoves his tip inside you want to scream, already feeling torn open

“look at your girl juices running down my cock, you’re just begging to be stuffed full babygirl”

he takes his time feeding his cock into your inferiority hole inch by excruciating inch

just when you think there can’t possibly be more cock he forces another inch in

his tip touches your cervix and you thrash around wildly, accidentally forcing yourself down on his dick a little more

you feel impossibly full, like your fuck hole is going to rip in two

“i think that’s as far as you’re gonna take me tonight princess, tsk tsk, we’ll have to keep cock training you until you can take my full length”

he grabs your chin and yanks it so you’re forced to look at his cock crammed in your impossibly tight pussy

there’s at least two or three inches that aren’t sheathed in you

you clench around his cock when you see just how torn apart your pussy lips are, you sob harder, feeling absolutely ruined

he pulls his dick all the way out until just his tip is left inside, he slams his cock back into you without warning, setting a brutal pace as he r4pes your tight whore hole

he grips your hips so hard you’re sure there’ll be bruises, your titties flop around with each thrust

he removes one hand from your hip and starts brutally rubbing your engorged clit, you throw your head back, drool slipping past the gag

you’re so overstimulated, the line between pain and pleasure blurring

you feel your cunt fluttering around his cock, he does too

“that’s right squeeze my dick baby, you love being my cocksleeve, you love that i chose you to kidnap and to r4pe, eventually you’re going to be begging me to r4pe and breed your holes over and over again everyday”

his words disgust you but your body doesn’t care

you cum so hard you see stars

he pulls his dick all the way out and you scream around your gag, drool running all down your body by this point

he harshly grabs your jaw and forces you to look down at his dick covered in your cream, the proof of the orgasm you just had

“look how much my dirty fuck doll enjoyed being r4ped”

you clench around nothing, your pussy is gaping so much you don’t feel his cum leaking out of your abused hole

“now let’s see if we can use some of this cum to get into your tight ass, i want to see both fuck holes gaping by the end of the night”

#bimboification #bimbo training #use me pls #bimbo doll #dumb slvt #dumb wh0re #corruption kink #daddy's good girl #dumbification #r4p3 kink #r4pepl4y #r4p3b4it #r4p3 fantasy #r4p3 m3 #send me threats #rough cnc #cnc kidnapping #cnc k!nk #nsft concept #c0cksleeve #c0ckslut #cvmdump #cvmslut #cr3ampie #wet and creamy #size k!nk #size difference

[sharlmbracta]

actually i think i'm fine now the world do not require burning anymore

#it's just that that. period fucking sucks ass #it takes all out the raging unholy trigot under the iceberg and flop it out on top like emptying a garbage can right in front of me #and i would be like “dude!!!!🤬” but it does it without me even knowing #fml #and i only realize it AFTER the period typical stress is over #well never really over but feels LESS on top of the immediate surface #fuck #stress #rant #self rant #period typical

[slvttyplum]

banner: @roseschoices divider: @cafekitsune

choso never really got mad, he didn't feel the need to get all up in arms about things he couldn't t control, the only thing he could do was control his own emotions and that's what he did most of the time.

growing up with brothers aren't easy, they turn you over, rat you out, get you in trouble, everything under the sun, so choso was used to teasing and rough play, but what he wasn't used to was seeing you practically naked trying to go out the house.

his blood didn't immediately boil at the sight, he tried to stay calm of course and question the situation, like why the fuck his partner was walking out of the house with a bikini top and shorts that barely covered the bottom of your ass.

“oh! im just having a beach day with my friends.” the innocent smile on your face convinced him that you weren't aware that your outfit wasn't necessarily appropriate to wear, so he didn't shoot you down too quick and instead put the same smile on his face.

“is that right? i didn't know. do you have a cover-up?” trying to slide in the subliminal quickly and smoothly, but once he heard your answer, his blood ran over and told you to please change your outfit.

“i… choso i just got this outfit.” those words sliding into his ears and sliding right out, he couldn't give one fuck. normally he wouldn't care what you wore, but that right there was a no no. you're going on a day trip with your friends without him wearing that, whose attention were you trying to get?

there was no need for him to keep trying to explain to you why you shouldn't even be wearing that outfit in the first place, but his dick thought otherwise, a prime example as to why you shouldn't be wearing it.

if it can happen to him, it can happen to anyone else.

“go change.” his jaw clenching and his arms folded as he stares you down, waiting for you to budge or break down, giving up and go change.”

“no, bye.” you slide on one flip-flops before choso walks closer to you, grabbing you by the waist and bending down and leaning closer to your ear.

“go change for me. don't be difficult.” his breath warm and sliding over your ear then neck, almost making you collapse, but you had to hold your own.

“no.” with that final no, choso picks you up and puts you over his shoulder. it was over for you, when he walked to the bedroom and tossed you on the bed, you knew you weren't making it to the beach.

choso stripped your shorts off revealing a bikini and not even five minutes later, the both of you were naked, and you were on all fours arched with your head against the pillow and chosos dick sliding in and out of you.

moans falling out of your mouth as his body clashes with yours and his hands roam your body, sending chills and then tingles shortly after. your eyes rolling up to the top of your eyelid and your body jolting every time he hit your sweet spot, the overwhelming pleasure was too much for you to handle.

your hands try to grip the sheet, but choso puts his hands over yours, balls them into a fist and puts them behind your back.

choso couldn't stop fucking you. the thought of someone else seeing you in that outfit made him upset, his blood boiling, turning into arousal.

he fucked you into the early morning. that day forward you never wore anything to piss him off, or maybe you did, getting fucked by an angry choso was painfully hot.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #x reader #jujutsu choso #choso #choso x reader #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo #choso smut #kamo choso

[forest-from-the-trees]

yknow i wish things would fit me right and i wish i wasnt all fucked up from my stupid ass disabilities. i fucking hate it so much its so frustrating and it makes me so unbelievably angry and sad. i wish i could order one fucking pair of shoes that i liked and have them actually fit correctly. but no! my bone structure has to change to get worse and even more wrong every two fucking seconds and im exhausted. im so tired. it didnt used to be like this and i have spent my whole life trying so fucking hard to be positive but i hold so much resentment and hatred for the way things have gone.

#it feels so dumb to be so upset over something as mundane as shoes! #but like. i cant wear vans i cant wear converse i cant wear chacos i cant wear tevas i cant wear regular ass flip flops #the list goes on #i literally cant wear any of those solely because the bone structure of my feet have changed and are still changing as i get older #its fucked #they didnt use to look the way they do now #they didnt used to be as wide and my toes didnt ever collapse underneath the other ones #i just fucking hate it so badly #i literally wear birkenstocks every day cause they're my main shoe. theyre the only one i can wear comfortably #i also like them but thats not the main reason i wear them #its cause its all i can really wear #its so frustrating #i want variety and i want to wear things that i think are cute and that make me feel good about myself #but i cant cause it just doesnt fucking work that way! #i ordered a pair of tevas cause i think theyre cute and i was excited to try something that i thought would work for me #but of course they got here and i tried them on and they fit but they arent going to work. #theyre going to hurt if i wear them and its just gonna damage my foot even more and i hate that #they're so cute but of course i cant have anything good and that i like #im literally crying over this and it feels dumbb but god im so tired. im so tired.