#all these years and people continue to slander him it's absolutely fucking ridiculous

[reachexceedinggrasp]

#Orson Welles #OWSC #the curl falling over his forehead continues to torture me #whenever there are curls I am wracked #beautiful genius boy #the top one here has remained a leading candidate for my favourite ever picture of him #I believe I took this screenshot from one of the CK special features when I was very first starting to get obsessed #my books about him now fill and overflow an entire shelf oops #this random post brought to you by me being reminded about the Vertigo Sight & Sound thing and remembering I am legit butthurt about that #it's not that I dislike Vertigo but come on #come on! #and then a video about Mank coming up in my suggestions on youtube ughjfsldjsl #all these years and people continue to slander him it's absolutely fucking ridiculous #I feel like of the icons he and Marilyn are the most brazenly and extravagantly lied about and misrepresented in pop depiction #Ed Wood remains the best ever fictionalised version of him appearing as a cameo or historical character in anything

[spiltscribbles]

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?” + Poorly Timed Confession + modern au 😍 pretty please!!!

~Notes: OMFG angel!!! Thank you SO SO much for the prompt<3 You are a complete babe! I hope you like :S It’s cheese, but like also what else would I do? LMFAO XD

.-

Smash Prompt Game  |  Send Me A Prompt💜 |  A Reblog Is Like An I Love You!!

.-

“Hmmm… All right, would you rather, mmm… Smell Borris Johnson’s sweaty gym socks, or snog Professor Slughorn full on the mouth for a straight minute— oh erm, not so straight I reckon on second thought.”

Remus wrinkles his nose at him from across the bed, and clucks his tongue at the awful pun. “You’re unruly.”

“And you’re dodging,”

“Am not arse, I’m just recovering from that very terrifying scenario you’ve spewed out like the sadistic satanist you are.”

“Which scenario are you recovering from though?” Sirius leers, wiggling his eyebrows and jostling Remus’s textbook with his foot.

“I hate that you’re enjoying this so much,” Remus intones in a deadpan.

“Mary John, I’m waiting,” Sirius says with far too much glee.

Sometimes Remus is sure that he hates him. “Fine, the answer is I hate you.”

“Filthy and slanderous lies, Lupin.”

“You’re demented.”

“Five. Four. Three—“

“I won’t choose.”

“See,  all I hear is that you wanna get it on with our chemistry professor, you saucy minx, you.”

Remus sniffs. “Better than touching that prick with even a ten foot pole.”

“Mmmm, have I ever told you how hot and heavy I get hearing you talk politics at me?”

Remus throws him the bird, which makes Sirius laugh. Remus can objectively say that Sirius has the most beautiful variations of laughter in the world, and he’d know considering he’s catalogued each one. This version is definitely top three. His care free, effortless laugh when Remus takes him off guard with a snide remark or lowly muttered retort that’s not appropriate for most company— It’s really more of a experience, truly. His breaths stutter out in a lovely staccato, and his eyes glimmer like the sea, and sometimes it feels like the world’s been suspended and it’s only the two of them in that slice of eternity.

Erm, Ah, but yeah…. That only happens occasionally, and it’s only because Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend— has been since the final year of primary school after Remus had moved to the London outskirts from his small, coastal town in Wales, and on first sight, Sirius swung a snowball straight to Remus’s face, which he of course responded to by throwing two more his way, and well… The pair of them were soaking and breathless by the end of it, but their fate was sealed, they were the greatest of friends, and nothing would ever alter that unquestionable staple.

So what if sometimes Remus’s chest thuds painfully when Sirius dimples his way, or Remus only ever wants to talk to him over anyone else— even Lily or his Mam— if he’s had a bad day, or good one, or if something remarkable had happened, or , or… Or whenever really. And there’s absolutely no significance that Remus can’t help the totally delighted grin that splits his face in half whenever he gets a text or snap from Sirius.

None of that is at all relevant.

Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend, and he’d never risk ruining that by allowing some pesky little crush swallow him whole and clammer out his mouth— vulnerable and throbbing in the open space between them. It doesn’t matter if Marlene always makes kissy faces their way, or how James only ever refers to them as a couple, and so what if Peter’s got a pole running that Remus knows basically the whole school is betting on. 

They’re all wrong, Sirius would never, ever feel the same sort of way that Remus does him, that’s downright preposterous and ridiculous and just simply impossible. And Remus’s perfectly content with that very real truth… He is.

Remus is fine with it God help him. So everyone else just needs to but the fuck out of their business.

Besides, this, this right now— Him and Sirius splayed out on opposite ends of Remus’s bed, with Sirius’s feet nudging at Remus’s elbow whenever he’s got a question about there homework, with the window cracked open just so, letting in some of the chilly winter air because Sirius absolutely can not focus if he’s not cold— the fucking furnace— Where Remus can still hear the going ons of his family playing out on the floor below them… This is the most perfect place in Remus’s eyes, and he won’t ever change that, especially not to live out some boyhood fantasy that would never come into fruition in his wildest of dreams.

Remus’s content… He is… He has to be or else he’d lose one of the most vital people in his world.

.-

“You’ve got footie practice after school, right?”

“Mmhmm, you coming to watch?”

“Only if you admit i’m your good luck charm,” Remus sardonically bats his lashes at Sirius as if he was in a mascara advert, and the taller boy  blows a raspberry right back at him.

“Nice, real nice. You’re extraordinarily mature, you know that, Black?”

“And sexy, don’t forget that, oh so important descriptor Lupin.”

Remus leans against the locker besides Sirius’s, watches as he trades his current binders for the lot he’ll need for the afternoon, and tries really hard not to stare too longingly at how Sirius’s arm muscles ripple beneath their school’s  maroon, uniform jackets  in the most delicious of ways. (He hates the fact he’s been dissolved into a starry eyed mess lusting over the star striker, but thus is his fate.)

“I’d never commit such a faux pas, and I’m insulted that you’d ever think as much.”

Sirius sneers at him with a slight shake to his head. “So you coming or not?”

“I’m still contemplating my options,” he preens, but before Sirius could retort, Marlene, megawatt smile and dangerously sharp  smirk— swaggers over towards them.

“Good morning my two beautiful chums!”

“What do you want?” Sirius asks before even glancing her way, to which Marlene blinks up at him, faux owlish. “S, I just wanted to greet a couple of my closest companions this lovely December morning,” she defends herself.

“Marls, you’re never this agreeable before noon,” Remus points out hesitantly.

“ And you rarely are even afterwards,” Sirius tacks on.

“Rude,” she pouts.

“Accurate,” Remus pipes in with an apologetic grimace.

Marlene stares them both down for a solid minute before finally relaxing her shoulders, and thrusting out the legal pad in her grasp. “The student council and spirit society are selling corsages for the snowflake formal, and Dorcas has deployed me to get some orders.”

“Whipped,” Sirius teases through a counter-fit cough.

Marlene doesn’t hesitate before smashing the legal pad on his head. “And you traipsing around getting people to buy the tickets for the theatre department last semester even though Re was only playing Mercutio wasn’t you being wrapped around his littlest finger?”

Remus flushes, feeling an unnerving amount of bees stinging around his stomach, and is thankful when the conversation pauses after Sirius casts her a very heated V.  “Sod off.”

“So are you guys gonna buy or not?” Marlene huffs, weight slung to her left hip, and arms crossed against her chest.

“I’m a gay bloke, Marls, did you forget that?” Remus pins her with a one eyed squint, and she just scrunches her face up at him, exasperated.

“I’m sure there’s matching boutonnieres.”

“Fine, I just don’t have any school spirit  then.”

This time she glares. “Lily and James are Head Boy and Head Girl, isn’t there like an oath between you lot,  one for all and all for one, or some rot?”

“That’s the three musketeers,” he says.

“isn’t that basically who you guys are?” She reasons.

Before their wage of words could continue, Sirius just grabs the order form out of Marlene’s hands and fills out a sheet with the flurry of his pen. “Happy?”

“Positively delighted,” she leers, pecking them both on the cheek before strutting off, reminding them of their group study session at Alice’s tonight in her wake.

Sirius shakes his head, reluctantly amused with a grin gathering on the corners of his mouth, but for Remus everything feels like it’s frozen. “You didn’t have to do that you know? ’S not like James is much of a Head Boy anyhow, and Lily wouldn’t have really cared.”

Sirius shrugs, commences their walk to the opposite wing of the school for their shared history class. “Emmy likes that sort of romantical shite.”

Remus sees red, feels his heart lodging in his damn esophagus. “Oh, so— Erm,  you’re taking her then,” Remus wonders if his tone sounds as detached as he feels.

“Yeah,” Sirius eyes him, questioning. “She wants that title of snow queen real bad, made me promise I’d campaign with her and the whole shtick.”

“Oh,” it’s like Remus could feel it when he closes off completely, can feel his hopes squashed down and his heart contract and his every organ collapsing in on themselves, leaving him feeling hollowed out completely.

Sirius slows down marginally, eyeing him with a slight frown. “Is that all right? I know you two don’t exactly get along and we were planning to go as a group, bu—“

“It’s fine,” Remus hates how screechy his voice gets, how he feels like he’s about to scream. “You two are a shoe in, no doubt.”

Sirius tries to mirror Remus’s faux excitement with a tepid grin of his own, but Remus doesn’t let him, instead commandeering their typical table on the back row and tries focussing on the thousandth war with France while his world tilts off kilter.

.-

Emmy is beautiful, and popular and her smile alone dazzles the whole room. She’s everything that Sirius should look for in a partner, someone to match his whip lash wit, and his taste for all things exuberant that skirt on flashy, and someone who’s got just as many friends and admirers as him.

They’re perfect and Remus should just get over his petty ass hatred of her, even if he still thinks she can be down right cruel and selective and selfish. Qualities Sirius surely isn’t… But maybe it’s all in his head how she sneers at people who she finds plane, or how she literally guffaws over the misfortune of others. Maybe his perception of how she wields people in like moths to a flame just to get what she wants is all a misunderstanding, or in his head or something.

Maybe all that’s possible, even if Remus seriously doubts it.

But at the end of the day, Sirius loves her— has been basically infatuated by Emmeline Vance since she first transferred at the start of their Freshman year. Sirius loves her, and who ever Sirius loves is merely an extension of him… Right?

Remus just needs to get over it and somehow rid himself of this crush he’s been fostering for so long it’s basically a part of him at this point. Though, he thinks it’d be a lot easier if he didn’t see their faces plastered on posters everywhere the week and a half leading up to the dance— looking like actual royals that would put Will and cate to shame.

.-

“Yo cheekbones!”

Remus starts, swivels around from where he was scratching his pen to paper, finding Sirius— as glimmering and beautiful as always— swaggering up to him, insanely electric smile painted over his face.

“Would you rather eat a jumbo jar of jalapeños without a break, or eat the toenails from someone with athlete’s foot next to your dinner every night of the rest of your life?”

“I thought you were having lunch with Emmy to keep up your royalty status before this weekend?” Remus asks, tacitly side stepping from the horrific images swimming to the forefront of his mind because of his cruel question.

“Now that doesn’t sound like an answer to my ultimatum,” Sirius says in a singsong sort of voice.

“You answer me first,” Remus says airily.

“But I asked first,” Sirius argues haughtily.

“Well both your options would kill me, so I wouldn’t do either,” Remus retorts.

“That’s not how the game works!”

“You’re the one who always says that rules were made to be broken,” Remus says, lofty as all get out,, and dissolves into laughter at the completely cross look Sirius’s giving him.

“You were born to be contrary, weren’t you?”

“So lunch?”

“Got bored,” he shrugs, hopping onto the corner of the desk Remus’s working on. “What you up to instead of eating?”

“My position paper for Model UN.” Sirius smiles down at him, and Remus can’t help the flush that spreads across his cheeks in return. “Not as glamorous as running as Snow King, I know.”

“It’s precious,” Sirius contends, his soft timbre sounding like syrup and his long fingers fluttering against Remus’s skin, pushing back a lock of his ever disheveled, tawny curls in a far to gentle way, and Remus gulps before averting his gaze to break the sudden tautness that’s built between them. 

They’ve had so many of these almost moments, ones that Remus’s always treasured but he knows doesn’t mean much of anything at all to Sirius— Sirius who is effortlessly hilarious, and brims with genius and  who is so beautiful that sometimes it hurts looking at him for too long. Sirius who has a new suitor at his beck and call on a near weekly basis. But whenever they transpire now, it just hurts all the more because Remus knows in his heart of hearts that they will never lead anywhere, and Sirius is in love with Emmy and Remus can’t let himself float around in this daydream for any longer.

“Ahem,” he clears his throat, shuffles in his seat only slightly. “I’m Algeria so my Mam’s pretty excited about it. She’s been telling me all the stuff Wikipedia’s got wrong and everything.”

Sirius laughs, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “Your mother is kinda everything, you know that?”

Remus twists his mouth up, reluctant. “Don’t tell her as much, or else she’ll go on and on how she won Miss Teen Great Britain when she was only sixteen.”

“Hmm, I was wondering where you got that pretty face.”

“You, Sirius Black, can go lick an unwashed arse.”

“You’ll never catch a suitor with that cheek of yours though. I’d work on that, Lupin.”

“I don’t think I could ever win Miss Congeniality, alas.”  Remus doesn’t quite catch Sirius’s reply, to busy responding too the text his phone just chirped with instead.

“Mary John, are you listening?”

“Uh-huh.”

Sirius’s brows hike up, flabbergasted smile stretched across his face. “So totally rude! And I came all the way here— to the place where dreamers die— just to spend time with you.”

“Sorry,” Remus gives him an abashed little half grin before setting the phone back down. “’s just Fabian.”

Sirius’s expression drops, goes inquisitive instead of his typical ebullience. “Fabian? Why’s Fabian Prewett texting you, and why is he,” Sirius crooks his head so he’s able to read the new message that popped up on Remus’s phone’s screen. “Asking about color coordination?”

Remus blushes for an entirely new reason now, one he likes much less. “Ah, he’s the sort to like it when our suits like match, but not in an abrasive fashion, you know?”

Sirius’s face goes scarily blank.

“Your suits? Suits for what?”

“The dance…” Remus says slowly, he’s confused what Sirius’s confused about.

“The dance… Right… I thought you were still going with everyone else?”

“Pff, no way,” Remus scoffs. “Lily’s  only pretending to be single, you know how red in the face she gets whenever around James. They’ll end up dancing the whole night away. And with Dorcas running the whole event and Benjy thinking any social function is a plague on society, that’d leave me stuck with Peter and Mary, . And honestly I’ve seen enough of her tongue shoved down his throat for a lifetime.” Remus is only slightly  surprised that doesn’t even elicit a chuckle from Sirius, who’s now looking a bit stormy— and he thinks he’ll never be accustomed to his mercurial moods that can change as quickly as the snap of the finger.

“Right… So you’re going with Fabian Prewett… as your date?”

“Yes… Why is that so hard to believe?”

“it’s, it’s not,” Sirius scrambles, suddenly standing up.

“Then why are you being so weird about this,” Remus argues, getting up to meet him at his level.

“Am not!”

“You’re going with Emmy,” Remus reminds him, this edge of desperate.

“I know I am, okay. But you— you—“ Sirius tappers off, eyes glassy and lips parted with words he can’t get out, and Jesus fucking Christ is it weird how for the first time ever their roles have reversed. Sirius can’t put any sentences together, and everything Remus’s been beating down—  everything thrashing inside of him— are now burning his throat and warring over who can spill out first.

“What? I’m suppose to stay behind like the pathetic, nobody friend. The guy who’s just there to moon after you while you have an actual life. The Judie garland to your Mickie Roomie!”

“What are you even talking about right now!” Sirius shouts, sounding as torn apart as Remus feels.

“As if you don’t know!” He snarls, collecting his books into his backpack— Suddenly this room feels to stifling. He can’t breathe and it’s too hot and his chest is pounding.

He’s imploding and Remus has no idea how to rectify it.

“Just stop! Remus Stop!”

“leave me the fuck alone Sirius!”

“Why are you being such a prick about this!”

And that, that makes Remus angry, angrier than he’s ever been.

Before he could even think about it for a moment longer, Remus is rounding on him, dashing so close to Sirius that he can taste his breath with how close their faces are skirting against each other.

“I’m in love with you! I’ve been in love with you for forever, and I know that you don’t feel the same way, and I know that you’re in love with Emmy and, and I just know okay.”

“Wha—“ Sirius sputters, looking like a gaping fish. “Wait a second, are you jealous? Of sodding Emmy Vance?”

“Don’t!” Remus practically growls out. "Don’t disrespect me, okay? Don’t pretend that you never knew, or that I was such a good actor. I’ve been in love with you for years and you always knew and Fine, I get it. You never felt the same way, that’s fine. But just don’t pretend as if you never had the choice, don’t make me out as the bad guy for actually, finally saying yes to a bloke who’s actually into me. I need to fucking give up on the premise of us, I need to get over you. So I’m going out with fucking Fabian Prewett and you’re going out with Emmy Vance and that’s that!”

His breaths are labored, jagged and painful, as they race out of him, but Remus can’t move. He’s staring straight into Sirius’s beautiful, gray eyes, and he sees everything he’s always seen there, and hates that this is probably the last time he’ll get to be this close to him.

Not after this.

“I didn’t,” is the first thing Sirius croaks out, broken and helpless. “i didn’t know, Remus you have to believe me— I didn’t—”

“How! How could you not know!” He shouts back, but Remus doesn’t get his answer in so many words, instead he feels it.

He feels it when Sirius clamps his hands on either end of his waste-line, feels it when Sirius smashes their lips together in a cacophony of lips, and teeth and spit. He feels it when Sirius moans in side of him, when his hand moves down, spreads across the width of the small of his back, pushing their torsos even closer. Remus feels it when everything goes into focus, when he takes Sirius into his arms, greedy and excited and disbelieving.

And Remus thinks to all the other times he’s kissed another boy— To this prior weekend swapping snogs with a beaming Fabian in the back of a theatre. He thinks of how there was never anything worth anything when he kissed any of them Because it was all Sirius, always Sirius. And he could try to love Fabian, or some other cute boy, and he tried, and he tried, and he tried, and he gave all he had…but it was never enough, could it ever be enough?

Remus knows it in his bones that it’s enough when it’s with Sirius.

When they finally pull apart it’s difficult to breathe and Remus feels lightheaded and it’s wonderful in the most marvelous of ways.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says in a whisper. 

“Maybe next time give a guy some warning?” Remus can’t help the shit eating smirk that swipes across his mouth and is elated at the adorably cross scowl Sirius answers him with.

“Fine jackass, how’s this for a warning, I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“That’ll be sufficient, I suppose,” Remus goads, laughing against Sirius’s lips when he does just that.

~*~

Sirius ends up winning snow king, but rejects the dance with Emmy, opts to ask Remus to join him instead, as if they were in the middle of some John Hughes movie from the fucking 80s.

It’s utterly ridiculous and overdone and simply way too much— but everyone applauded and cheered and when Sirius kissed him in the middle of it, Remus felt as if his whole body sung with joy.

.-

~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #WOLFSTAR FLUFF #MARAUDERS #HARRY POTTER SERIES #SPILT INK #PROMPTS #I love you endlessly #!!!!

[cc-tinslebee]

Okay, so, about a month ago, my brain just conjured up probably the most random au possible: Legally Blonde Adam Banks/banksway au.

Believe me, it's as chaotic as it sounds, but lowkey, I'm kind of in love with it.

Adam never joins the Ducks because there aren't any Ducks to join. Bombay never had to do community service with District Five so there was no one to realise that Adam was on the wrong team all along. He continues to play for the Hawks and, eventually, the Eden Hall Warriors, never getting the chance to become the well-rounded individual we know him as because he's never known anything other than his rich privilege and the "win at all costs" mentality. He ends up going to college on a hockey scholarship and not straight to the NHL or the AHL (shocking, I know). While he's unsure of his major and where his life is heading, he finds solace in the fraternity he joins, which, by some sheer twist of fate, Jesse and Guy have also miraculously joined.

And his life is perfect for a while. He's the star player on yet another school's hockey team, all of his fraternity brothers adore him (though, it took a bit for Jesse to warm up to him), and his secret, not-really-official thing with his former teammate is going swimmingly. (Not to slander my boy, but I was picturing Larson for the role of Warner, purely because the alternative seems to be Rick Riley and that's kind of an unsettling image-- though, maybe that's the point?)

But then his secret boyfriend breaks up with him because, with his high aspirations in life, he needs to be "more serious." And dating Adam Banks, a guy in a stereotypical fraternity who only really knows hockey, in 2001 isn't exactly the white-picket-fence life he's looking for if he's going to be a politician.

And since this non-Duck Adam clearly doesn't have the braincells that canon Adam does, in his devastation, he decides it's a brilliant idea to prove that he is serious by applying to Harvard Law. His parents try to talk him out of it, since they want him to pursue his dreams of hockey, but being a lawyer is a respectable career so they can't exactly argue with him.

He gets accepted thanks to Jesse, Guy, and the rest of his fraternity helping him study for the LSAT and keeping him on track. He's trying his darndest when he gets to Harvard, but (despite his struggle not being as significant as Elle Woods'), not a lot of people take him seriously as an aspiring lawyer, considering him a meathead jock who only got in because of daddy's money.

And that's about the time he meets Linda, who he vaguely remembers from his time at Eden Hall. What he doesn't remember is her being so competitive, because she's deliberately beating him at every turn, just trying (and kind of succeeding) at making him look like a fool. To make matters worse, all of the sudden, she's engaged to his ex-boyfriend, who is very adamant about never telling anyone that he and Adam were more than friends (because, you know, early 2000s homophobia and such).

But things get a little brighter for Adam when he meets Charlie, an undergrad teacher's assistant who gives him all sorts of advice about surviving the school. He introduces him to Professor Bombay, who Charlie claims is the only reason he survived his first year and quickly becomes Adam's favourite teacher, and Charlie's childhood friend Connie, who aspires to be a state senator one day. Charlie's charismatic and even if he's not the most well-liked person at Harvard, Adam feels a weight lifted off his shoulders once he becomes friends with him and Connie. Things become a little easier.

Just before he and Charlie start getting really close, Adam meets Casey at a local diner on a day he's feeling particularly upset and alone, and the two start bonding almost immediately. (He bullshits his way into scaring an ex-husband of hers with legal repercussions he has no idea about and she basically adopts him in return.) It takes him an embarrassing amount of time to realise that it's not just a coincidence that Casey and Charlie share the same last name, which results in poor Adam feeling extremely embarrassed for not connecting the dots sooner while Charlie's having the time of his life teasing him for it. Eventually, when the dust of that settles, Charlie and Adam join forces to set Casey and Bombay up, their schemes borderline ridiculous at times, but they'rere not exactly failing.

And after realising he isn't the Warriors moron she thought he was for going on five years, Linda starts warming up to Adam, which is surprisingly nice? She figures out on her own that there used to be something between him and her fiancé, and is more understanding of Adam than she is mad. Linda actually spills to him the lengths Adam's ex had to go through to actually get into Harvard, aligning more with the rumours about Adam's acceptance being bought than having the aptitude for the law that Linda and Adam share. (This may be me saying Linda and Adam friendship rights, what of it-- /lh)

To make things all the better, Bombay chooses Adam, Linda, Connie, Charlie, and Adam's ex to be on his legal team for a murder case he's responsible for (and while he knows about Adam and Charlie's ploys to hook him up with Charlie's mom, they're his favourites, so he doesn't say anything).

And this is just so much better than anything he had before. After all the initial unpleasantness, Linda and Connie become some of the most genuine friends he's ever had. He misses Guy and Jesse, of course, and he'd never take them for granted, but back when he was with them at the fraternity, a part of him was still being as superficial as he had been in middle and high school. Being authentic for once in his life is liberating.

And Charlie's just about the most considerate person Adam's ever met. Adam doesn't even mind when Charlie teases him over his absurd and juvenile insults because he's just this source of light for Adam, supporting him and always pushing him to be the best version of himself. His ex hardly even exists when Charlie's around because his energy is just so contagious that Adam starts falling for him long before he even realises it. (And when Jesse and Guy come to visit, there's a moment where it all clicks and the four of them realise their history together, however brief. I strongly maintain that they'd be that Starkid meme: "Fucking Hawks? We hated you guys!" "We hated ourselves!" But it does make Adam realise how much better off he would've been if he had Charlie and his team when he was little instead of the Hawks, and it just further makes him understand that people like Larson and Rick Riley just aren't worth it.)

But there's also another revelation Adam goes through. Between helping Casey, his rigorous studies, and his position working with/for Bombay, something just clicks for Adam. He likes being able to help people, fighting for the good guys who may not have the resources they need to be properly defended. Practicing law calls to him in the same way hockey did; it's the feeling of knowing this is what he's meant to do. He still loves hockey, he always will, but it helps him finally grasp that there's a world for him outside of it; when hockey ends for him, there's something equally as rewarding that he can pursue, which was something he never thought he would have.

I haven't a single coherent thought about this au past that point except for these little inklings of an ending--

There's absolutely no SA scene like the movie had; Bombay's just Adam and Charlie's favourite teacher and those are his boys, so he's going to make sure they succeed as if his life depends on it.

With that said, Bombay believes in them both enough to let them finish the case because with their joined determination/stubbornness (and Adam's in with the defendant), Adam and Charlie are a force to be reckoned with and he knows it.

After a handful of comedic failures, they do end up succeeding at their attempts to set Casey and Bombay up, and they start living together sometime during the kids' Junior year :) (All I'm asking is for one (1) story with a Casey/Gordon endgame-- I just think they're neat--)

Linda dumps her fiancé (as she should) and goes on to live her best wlw life as a successful lawyer. (If I'm not mistaken, Linda's actress actually is a lawyer, which is a pretty cool fun fact!!)

Adam and Linda's ex gets the Warner ending because, man, screw that guy /lh (rip to Larson if this is him, I'm sure you'll get a nice endgame in some other universe, king)

Honorary mention for Connie, who was going long distance with Guy this entire time to everyone but Jesse's shock, and they get their Game Changers endgame of State Senator Connie Moreau and stay-at-home dad Guy Germaine with their seven -- sorry, three -- children :)

Adam's an absolute bundle of nerves after graduation, which definitely concerns Charlie. So, when he asks if he's okay, Adam starts nervously monologuing about their time together until he runs out of breath. He ends it by proposing to him, and Charlie smiles so surely at him when he says yes. They both become damn good public defenders and stay engaged until the point they can legally get married, but they're practically husbands long before that happens.

Also, if I did my math right (which I should’ve, it’s my entire basis for my Share Your Address series), the Ducks’ would have the same graduating class year as Elle Woods anyway (2004), which is pretty neat!

Thank you once again for listening to me ramble :)

#i just think they're neat that's all-- #full disclosure: i have not listened to/seen the musical yet but I have heard very good things about it #adam banks #charlie conway #gordon bombay #linda the mighty ducks #connie moreau #banksway #charlie x adam #the mighty ducks #casey x gordon

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 38

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Fluff and snowball fights. Forgiveness is a path and everyone's making their happy way down it. Friendly Steve slander. Hulk interaction!

"So, what now?" I asked, eyes still closed, not resisting the desire to remain under the covers, nested snugly into Stephen's side. On his other side, Tony snored away, sprawled like a starfish in what looked to be the first decent shut-eye he got in months. I could smell the coffee and omelettes from Tony's kitchen and the soft jazz music playing where Bruce was taking care of the breakfast.

It was an unambiguous decision to take it easy after the last battle. Bucky and Natasha had been ironing out the details from the interrogation after Stephen had un-possessed Cabre, Wanda and Loki were itching to get a minute with the mercenary on their own and Veddie, as I started calling my uncle and his symbiote after experiencing the incredibly immersive symbiosis with Venom, hovered nearby in case Cabre would make a good snack.

"What do you want to do?" Stephen's morning voice was, ahem, an experience. He put Corpse Husband to shame and I knew that it wasn't only me who got hot and bothered by it but Tony as well...

Speaking of Tony, I still had no idea where we stood. My engineer had been less than happy about my actions and I thought I blew it. He wasn't as warm and playful, and while I kept telling myself that it was just the exhaustion from weeks of stress and worry, I knew better.

"I don't know. I didn't think this far," I admitted, damn well knowing what I wanted. I wanted things to be like they were - clear, honest, easy. My mother's voice rang out clearly again. I was being childish. Of course I was.

"I'm sure Tony will have my head for this, but seeing as there's no stopping you, I'm sure Natasha and Barnes will be happy to train you," Stephen sighed, his breath warm in my hair.

I blanched, stiffening in his arms, confused. "Where did that come from?" My eyes finally opened to stare at his sleepy face.

His eyebrows rose. "You don't want to..?"

"Be a hero, like you? No," I shook my head, then snorted. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you I don't want to go to college just yet, maybe take a gap year. In fact, I want to avoid actual in-person classes as much as humanely possible. And I still don't have a clue what major exactly I want to pursue." I was being honest, prepared to be judged. In-between my three men, there were at least ten PhDs whilst I was only nearly done with the first step of my education.

"So what, it was a one-time deal? Let an alien parasite take over your body for a coupla' hours and then continue with your life?" Tony's scratchy voice startled me; apparently, he'd been awake and actively eavesdropping.

I wasn't prepared for this conversation, but then again, I'd never be. Might as well rip the bandaid off. "I'm not that flavour of stupid," I immediately retorted, heart beginning to pick up speed. My mouth was gonna get me in trouble. "I am not delusional, I know things aren't and won't be the same. I did what I did because there was no other option, I'm not sorry and I will do it again if the need arises. It's not what you want to hear but it's the truth." I paused, well aware that my speech was becoming quicker, I was well on my way to nervous rambling. "I'm not hero material, I won't go on a death march for a rando," Justifying my actions? No. I stopped myself again. "I am sorry for lying. I am sorry for hiding things. But I am not sorry for putting my own ass out there so we can get some fucking peace." I finally settled, fisting my pajama top under the blanket in an attempt to release some of the tension.

Twin sighs erupted from my men, as if their bodies synchronized in response to my stubborn nature. Stephen's hold tightened on me as Tony rolled over, sleepy eyes blinking from the space opposite of me on Stephen's chest. Tony's hand reached for my face, stroking the side of it wordlessly - he wasn't the most vocal about his feelings but his eyes said it all. Tony was sad, hurt, a little bit angry but mostly he was relieved. It was the way he moved - nearly no traces of the tension that had gathered on his face in the previous weeks.

"Natasha should still train you, some basic hand to hand and weapons training, in case someone has it out for any of us. SHIELD's security has holes, you're basically one of us now. Everyone and their mother saw Clint hauling you to the quinjet," Tony finally grumbled, admitting his defeat. Everyone knew that if it had been up to him, I wouldn't leave the tower without an armed escort at all times. Thankfully, Bruce was there to screw on Tony's bolts right each time he wanted to go overboard. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did.

Stephen's free hand landed in Tony's hair, the sorcerer effectively calmed both of us down with his gentle, unobtrusive support. He was far more empathetic than he liked to show. "That seems like a smart idea," He rumbled as my eyes began to drift shut once again.

With each steady breath, my heartbeat slowed and the feelings of guilt and dread began to dissipate. Tony might not had forgiven me yet but I was on my way to inner peace once more. I remembered feeling exactly the same way before our relationship, when every time I took a step inside Tony's lab, I tensed inwardly, shielded my feelings from his eyes, too focused on the outcome I thought would be absolutely disastrous. I had always thought he'd laugh at me, and yet... Laying on Steph's chest, inches away from Tony, my past panic seemed ridiculous.

"What's so funny?" Stephen asked, amused.

I didn't even notice the snort that managed to escape me. "Nothing," I answered immediately, feeling my face heat up. Oh my Loki, what kind of an idiot I had been...

"Sure," Tony's finger poked my cheek without preamble. "Staging a world domination plan, aren't we?" He snarked, much more like his usual self.

"I was just remembering when I was so terrified you'd find out I have a crush on you and you'd laugh at me," I mumbled, willing to placate Tony to avoid any more unnecessary lies and deceit.

Tony, did, in fact, laugh at my confession, but so did Stephen and I am pretty sure I heard Bruce snort from the direction of the archway leading into the spacious bedroom. The bed dipped as the scientist sat down, running a palm over my leg.

"I was pretty sure you would laugh at me," He admitted just as quietly and bashfully. Stephen and Tony only laughed harder. I heard the sound of a pillow hitting Steph in the face. "Let's go, Princess, let's leave the mean geezers alone. I made breakfast."

I could practically hear the pout in Bruce's voice and couldn't resist to comply, leaving a grumbling Tony to stretch and roll out of bed like a disgruntled cat.

"You're older than me, Bruce," Stephen rolled his eyes, I could feel his stare linger on my exposed thighs before Bruce picked me up. My sorcerer boyfriend switched to staring at Tony's bare back, which was an action I wholeheartedly supported.

"Cocky bastards," I stuck out my tongue a moment before we turned the corner and then all I could focus on was the feast of gods Bruce had made for us. The man was really too sweet and too kind, he never ceased to make me mushy and stuff. I stole a kiss, and then another one, and another one, until Tony's whining about the toast burning interrupted our moment.

The bread was fine. Tony was just being himself.

Our phones beeped at the same time - mine being already in my hand, as all normal young people did in the mornings - I looked at the message expecting another assemble and feeling my eyebrows crawl up at Steve's suggestion we all get some fresh air that day.

It had snowed. The whole city was covered in white, crisp snow, and Bucky has been liking nothing but other people's snowman pictures for several days. I suspected the brunette had convinced his boyfriend to take him out to build one or something, but as Steve was known to be exceptionally dense at times, Cap'n Jolly had unanimously decided it was a team bonding-slash-relaxing opportunity.

I relayed my thoughts to my own boyfriends, all of us giggling at Steve's eagerness to cater to his boyfriend and his cluelessness when it came to all things romantic. I was tempted to shoot Steve a text explaining his epic gamer moment but before I could even open the app, Bruce's eyes turned green briefly as he had a very obvious internal conversation with Hulk.

"Is that offer to spend time with Hulk still up?" The scientist asked timidly.

I had a lightbulb moment. "Absolutely!" I replied, watching my other two boyfriends. They didn't even bat an eye, evidently at peace with the green situation. "As long as the snowball fight is had with Thor, Steve or other enhanced individuals." Personally, I had no desire to be flipped over by a snowball the size of a watermelon. Or get any of the pretty but cold stuff under my clothes.

Bruce's responding grin was mostly Hulk.

It was a couple of days before Christmas. I was never one much for the holiday season, but something magical had seeped into me - it wasn't the shiny lights throughout the tower, it wasn't Clint's ugly Christmas sweater and the smell of gingerbread cookies and cinnamon that came from Wanda's apartment. I had no clue what it was, but it seemed to be tied to my boyfriends and Loki and many others who lived in the tower.

Bruce was all but wiggling during the car ride to the park - rationally, I knew it was the Hulk being excited but I still couldn't take my eyes off the usually reserved man. Bruce was happy. It made me smile and hold his hand like we were middle-schoolers in love. The rest of the team pretended to not notice it, or maybe they didn't care, or maybe they had already gotten used to my unconventional relationship.

Either way, Bucky had whisked Steve away almost immediately and I did what every kid ever had dreamed of. As Bruce went to a more secluded space to transform into the Hulk and Tony went to retrieve his thermos of coffee, I ushered Sam over to Steve's car and unlocked it, retrieving his shield from the trunk. It was heavier than it looked but did it stop me and Sam from running up the nearest hill and fighting over who gets to go first?

No, it did not. In mere moments, my ass was being frozen to the metal despite my snowsuit as I parked it inside the shield , holding onto the straps as Sam pushed on my back, hollering "Yeet!" at the top of his lungs, sending me in a steep slide towards where Thor was enthusiastically explaining something to the rest of the team.

"Oh shiiiiit!" I screamed, unprepared for the sudden increase in speed and the surprisingly good gliding abilities Captain America's shield possessed. "Watch o-o-out!" I yelled as the group scattered at the last moment. I heard some strong Russian words coming from Natasha, paired with snorts of badly concealed laughter.

The tree line grew closer by the second but the shield had no plans of stopping any time soon. Whoda thunk that things made of vibranium had all the characteristics to be the perfect sled? Something green entered my field of vision, stopping my crazy train with a grunt.

I answered with an oof of my own. One green palm was securely wrapped around me and the other held Steve's shield. "Hello," Hulk snorted, lifting me up like I was but a feather and setting me on his shoulder. "Puny Princess, don't hurt yourself," He stated firmly as I looked down at him, intrigued by the sudden change in his speech patterns. He sounded almost human.

"Hey, Big Guy," I ruffled his hair. "Aren't you cold?"

"No," He replied, setting me onto his shoulder. Hulk appeared to be completely unaffected by the December cold in his purple shorts. I felt my rear end begin to thaw, such was the heat that he emanated from his body. Meanwhile, Hulk caught Steve's eye, preparing to hurl the shield back to the frowning Captain.

Steve caught it effortlessly while Bucky ignored the interaction whatsoever, caught up in rolling an obscenely large ball of snow a ways from the group, tongue all but hanging out in concentration. I caught myself thinking he was gonna build a snow dick instead of a man and it made me feel...

"Wanna build a snowman?" I asked my green companion, rubbing my mittens in excitement.

The Hulk pondered for a brief moment, adopting that mischievous gleem, eyes shooting to Tony and Stephen who stood regally on the side of the clearing, sipping their hot beverages like the adult men that they were supposed to be. I snorted and Hulk echoed the sound, taking quick strides to a patch of land opposite Bucky. "No," Hulk shook his head. "We build a fort. Then smash," The green bean was all but vibrating in excitement.

Realistically, I knew I was gonna get snow stuck in uncomfortable places and might even get knocked over by an overeager person with super strength. But was I gonna pass up an opportunity to show off my superior construction skills? Hell naw.

It wasn't long before Stephen and Tony wandered off to us and began to pile up snow with a resigned huff, unsuccessful in their attempts to rebuff me ordering them around. In the end, we split in three teams, snow flew everywhere and by the time the battle was in peak heat, all of us were cold, wet and red-faced.

"To the death! BLOOD AND VINEGAR!!!" I screeched, hopping up and down after a series of small rapid snowballs I threw hit their target - Steve had a face full of snow and Bucky wasn't faring much better next to him, having had let a few of them hit him in the chest because he was distracted, doubling over in laughter at Steve's indignant, red face.

"You're bloodthirsty," Tony smirked from my side, dumping a fresh batch of ammo between me and Stephen. "It's hot."

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @warrior1-19 @toomanyrobins

#party favours #bun writes #tony stark x reader #bruce banner x reader #Stephen Strange x reader #tony stark x Bruce Banner x Stephen Strange x reader #in this house we love and respect the ot4

[redemptiionss]

Let me go over what I learned happened in s8.... this is just what I’ve learned from other people’s posts. Let me know I’ve gotten things wrong (and any further clarification would be appreciated, if you’ve seen s8)

Lotor’s corpse was shown onscreen shortly after flashbacks proving that he was a good person who grew up abused & brainwashed by his parents. His corpse was then used as a puppet by Haggar, his mother and abuser. Allura finally says that Lotor had good intentions after two seasons of not once showing regret or second thoughts on what they’ve done to him. Haggar tells her that Lotor was truly happy when he was with her. No remorse is shown, apparently nobody cares that they’ve murdered him. The fact that they created a power vacuum within the Galra Empire and caused the deaths of thousands of people all because they didn’t think twice before attacking & abandoning Lotor (aka the one who GENUINELY wanted to help bring peace & also the one who was literally the SOLUTION) to die in the rift, is never addressed or questioned. The Colony story that was the Plot in s6 was never addressed. I’m wondering what were the writers’ intention with Lotor?! It’s like they can’t make up their minds. They had people-- including those who he once most trusted-- slander and demonize him. Then they humanized him and showed us that he was a Good person who was abused and traumatized by his parents & tried not to be like them. Then they showed us a grotesque imagery of his corpse. Then they went all like, yup he was a Good Person all along who was “misguided” & he could have had a Redemption Arc, but whoops, he’s dead. His death was meaningless. It was without reason or purpose. All I’m seeing from this is a terrible message surrounding abuse victims. They ditched a story of hope, a redemption/vindication arc for a meaningless tragedy. Congrats. I can’t forgive them for what they did. I can’t.

Line from s6, from Lotor’s confrontation with Haggar, who’s kidnapped him and tries to get him to stay with her, but is rejected by Lotor. Lotor says this to her: “The end is near, witch. I know you can sense it. If you beg for your life now, maybe I will take pity on you when the time comes.”  This was CLEAR foreshadowing. But in the end? Lotor’s rotting corpse being used as a puppet. Then in the end, him immediately forgiving his parents & happily reconciling with them in the afterlife. What. The. Flippin. Heck. What was the POINT of that whole confrontation then? More importantly, what was the point of the whole colony plot?! It was the Plot of s6!! It was what led them to abandon & murder Lotor, which then led to a power vacuum in the Galra Empire & death of thousands!! & led to what happened in s7 & s8!!! The entire situation surrounding the colony plot was clearly Fishy as Hell, implied that there was a misunderstanding going on, that Lotor was likely going to get vindicated/redeemed, and also that Haggar had her nasty fingers in the PIe. But literally nothing came out of it. WHAT. WAS. THE. POINT. Clearly something happened behind the scenes between s6 & s8.

Somehow Zarkon comes back via Haggar & quintessence, but he’s Good guy Zarkon (aka pre-corrupted)? I’m not sure how this happened, but okay. I mean, if anyone could give me the full rundown on how things led up to this. He got a redemption arc. Hagerva got a redemption arc too.

I don’t have a problem with redemption arcs. I love them. I hate the whole Tumblr™ “you have to earn redemption” thing. Redemption isn’t something that is earned. Anyone can be redeemed-- even the worst person possible. However, in stories it HAS to be told well. It’s got to be meaningful. And frankly the main reason why I have a problem with them getting redemption arcs is because Lotor never got one while his parents did. He never got a redemption or a vindication arc. Zarkon and Haggar was allowed to have a voice, while Lotor was not. This just comes across as them somehow being More Deserving of a redemption arc than Lotor, which is honestly just bullshit.

Zarkon & Honerva apparently weren’t corrupted anymore when they got redeemed, so that.. makes everything they did over 10,000 years okay I guess? Since it technically wasn’t them? But like, they still did that. They got corrupted by the bad quintessence by their own direct actions, and then proceeded to commit genocide, enslave and conquer thousands of planets and people, and abuse their son. None of that has changed. I never thought that they’d get redeemed mainly because I didn’t think there would be any way it would be written well & that it wouldn’t have been able to be fit into the story’s plot well.

While Corrupted!Bad Guy Zarkon told Shiro that he was Too Weak and Unworthy to be the Paladin for the Black Lion, Good Guy Zarkon told Keith that he was a good leader & a good Black Paladin because of his Galra Lineage. Like.. uh, what? RACISM MUCH? I guess Keith didn’t say anything. What happened to him being the #1 Black Paladin!Shiro stan? Oh wait, he stopped back in like S3 or something.

This makes me think of that one Nightmare post I read months ago. It was basically “What if Shiro is not the Black Paladin because the Black Lion is racist against non-Galra?” [It cited that when Shiro was the Black Paladin, he had a Galra arm. & now that he doesn’t have a Galra arm, he is no longer the Black Paladin.] I thought it was utterly ridiculous and that it was the stupidest thing ever. But I guess being Galra is indeed what makes you great for the Black Lion after all. Oof. Wtf.

Apparently Shiro also barely had a meaningful interaction with... pretty much anyone, least of all Keith, who’s supposed to be like his little brother. This has been happening for a while even before s8. (I honestly hate that Shiro was reduced to just being mere plot device for Keith’s development and arcs. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how JDS & LM called him boring, wanted to kill him off permanently, but then was forced to bring him back, and how they pretty much got around that loophole by killing him off at least twice and finally pushing him into the background. Oh and they didn’t even give him a family either lol. WTF.)

Lance says his “I’m good at winning prizes” line at Allura. Wtf. It seems that the context is Allura asking Lance to get something for her, but I saw the screenshot and.. G R O S S. They KNEW what they were fucking doing, especially with THAT expression. *shudders* I like Lance, I really do. But I hate him for Allura. He became smitten with Allura the minute he saw him, and pretty much called dibs on her. Spent a majority of his time hitting on her while she reacted in distaste & discomfort, continually rejecting him or brushing him off. Showed jealousy and entitlement when Allura exhibited interest in other guys or when other guys seemed interested in Allura. [Lance, you do not own Allura. You’re not even with her, she’s not interested in you. BACK. OFF.] Even made fun of Allura’s Altean culture and heritage, and never once showed any signs of interest in learning about it. And I’m not even going to go over all the ways how they are not compatible with each other at all. A//urance literally plays into the trope that if the Nice Guy is persistent enough, he will get the Girl. The Girl is his Prize. Again, they KNEW what they were doing with that line. So that coupled with the imagery from S3-ish of Lance’s fantasy-- in which he is revered and praised by all, standing at the very top holding a big flag saying “Winner” with a dream starry-eyed Allura at his feet. Ugh, BARF.

A//urance happens. Apparently neither of them are very happy??? [and honestly it just confuses me why it even happened because there is such a stark difference between how Lotura & A//urance was written-- but I guess Lotura was just a stepping stone for the less well-written & clearly-forced ship after all? Tf.]

There’s some stuff about Hagerva breaking into alternate realities because she can’t cope with the fact that her son is dead, so she’s trying to enter her alternate families’s lives.

There’s some stuff about Altea & Daizabaal being brought back. I.. don’t know. I’ve seen some people say that if those could be brought back, then why couldn’t Lotor & the others be brought back too?

Allura kisses Lance twice. Tells him that she’ll always love him. (lmaoooo what? okay sure) She transfers her Altean Marks onto Lance. (What. the. HECK?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE.) She then.... sacrifices herself? To save her Reality? To save all of existence? From what I’m hearing from other people, there was no real good reason for her to sacrifice herself. She then steps into the afterlife with her father, her mother, Zarkon, Honerva, and Lotor. There’s a legit outline of her [who is clearly defined], with Lotor at her back [who is not as defined], in the stars.

I cannot believe they killed off their main female protagonist & a princess. You don’t just.. do that in children’s media. I don’t know of any children’s media in which a princess dies. I thought she was untouchable. Not to mention there was absolutely no pay off for Allura at all aside from her being dead and in the afterlife reuniting with her family. She’s had to sacrifice everything every season-- her planet & her family was destroyed, then she lost her castle, her rank, her crown, her clothes, her people. I thought there was going to be an ultimate pay off for her in end, but no she even had to lose her own life. Really?! This doesn’t speak of Hope to me.

Lance spends the rest of his life with Allura’s Altean marks tattooed on his face. He’s a farmer, growing Altean flowers (???) and it’s implied that he never gets over her. I... just can’t. The bitter irony. In giving Lance what he wanted, the writers took everything from him. Much of his character, aside from growing in his role as a Paladin, bonding with others, and dreaming of being a pilot, also revolved around Getting Allura. He was never allowed to grow out of that. Now they’ve effectively erased his identity-- he no longer has an identity separate from Allura. That isn’t.... what his arc should’ve been. Also does the marks mean he’s Altean now or what?? You can’t just change races like that. Tf. If he has an Altean lifespan now, that means that he’s going to watch everyone he loves die. His infatuation for Allura has become his curse. And while it’s been implied that he’s worked on a farm before [look, it’s canon that he knows how to milk a cow. that’s enough of an implication.], that was never his dream. He wanted to be a pilot.. and now he’s just a farmer forever pining over Allura and growing flowers in her memory, or something. They destroyed Lance’s character.

Apparently Allura didn’t just transfer her Altean Marks to Lance, but also gave him Leadership over the Alteans. WHAT. THE. FUCK? So Lance didn’t just Get Allura & then is cursed by Allura’s selfish act, but he also gets Allura’s ROLE. They seriously had Allura sacrifice HER own leadership & give it to a boy who has NEVER once shown interest in HER culture, & has even mocked it more than once. THE. AUDACITY.

“Lance will get what he needs, not what he wants.” That implies that he was Not going to end up with Allura, seeing as she is what he clearly wants. So.. what is it then? Unless him being a lonely pining farmer for all of eternity was what he needed? Either they straight up lied or like I said before, something happened behind the scenes.

Keith apparently is leading Lotor’s Generals & the Galra now or something..?? WHAT? Why TF would the Galra listen to him? And I guess he gave a speech that was essentially Lotor’s speech in S5. EXCUSE. ME.?! Also apparently Keith now has magical powers and is a diplomat dedicated to spreading good will in the universe..?? So basically he was given Shiro’s position, and then Lotor & Allura’s ROLES. Ha ha ha.

There was a line from a crack-foreshadowing episode in s7, in which Lance says Keith “is the future”-- and a lot of people came up with the Emperor!Keith theory. I quickly concluded that it was total bullshit because it made ZERO sense within canon. It still makes no sense, but then again not much makes sense in s8 apparently.

Apparently Nothing is Really Solved. The Galra still need Quintessence to survive. The Quintessence Rift is closed, so there’s nowhere for them to get their quintessence. Lotor, the only person who had the solution, wanted peace, & intended on leading an Alliance between the Paladins & the Galra, is dead. Allura, who could’ve allied with Lotor to help the cause of leading the universe & Galra into an new era of peace, is dead. But Apparently there’s Peace now. Okie dokie.

I... don’t really know anything about Katie & Hunk. What happened to them?

 I can’t think of anything else right now. All I can say is that s8 sounds vile.

#txt #my salt #vld s8 #vld spoilers

[jiilys]

‘cause when you walked into the room just then

theatre au collab with @alrightpotter. here’s her part.

a/n: lucie, my love!!! happy birthday!!! i’d want to know you if you reached peak gay or became buffy summers dog or could only eat car tires. i love you badly. id probably give up weetbix for you. have the best day in the world.

Godric’s Post                                                                              8th February 2009

Film: The Wind In the Whomping Willows Director: Bathilda Bagshot Plot Summary: 4 friends go for a picnic. Boredom ensues.

I’ve never liked Bathilda Bagshot, and yes this may have been because of an incident at one of my parents’ house parties where she literally hissed at me when I reached for another baked potato, but the point still stands. She continues rely on prolonged dialogue scenes that don’t move the plot along and stretch to the point of absurdity, until the viewer is begging for a change in scene, shot, anything, only to presented with (unbelievably) yet more boredom.  

So put aside whatever resentment you’re harbouring that I just name dropped Bathilda Bagshot and that she used to come to my house, and wallow in how wasted my Friday night was watching this garbage. My personal highlight was the closing credits, because it meant I could at last be free from this endless hell of four people sitting in a wood, talking about sandwiches and grass for two hours straight.

Naturally I imagine some people enjoyed the film, (Bagshot does know her way around a camera, I’ll give her that, the cinematography was flawless.) however dear, cherished, hopefully-subscribed-and-not-reading-this-on-the-free-trial-reader, I must ask: who doesn’t like a little during movie commentary? Before Friday I would have said no one, but after Friday I would have to say no one, with the exception of uptight, haughty gingers.

Rather like Penelope Clearwater’s unfortunate character in The Wind in the Whomping Boredom, I too found myself being falsely accused of a crime I did not commit. In Clearwater’s case (she shines in the film, despite Bagshot’s insistence she be holding a mirror in every scene) it was of stealing the picnic sandwiches. Mine was the slightly more serious charge of ‘injuring’ a fellow reviewer.

I want it stated for the record that no such injury occurred, and that as far as I am aware popcorn is rarely classified as an assault weapon, but I am willing to hear argument on the matter. However I could be wrong because the reviewer in question seemed to genuinely enjoy the Wind In the Whomping Waste of Time, so maybe it wasn’t her eye that should be examined, but her brain.

In summary: this film has done the impossible and been even more tedious than Bagshot’s last effort, A History of the Snake Inside Me, which I didn’t think possible. My nine-year-old criticisms rarely stand up to scrutiny but I think my judgement of Ms Bagshot being The Worst has proven correct. Furthermore, I want it noted for no particular reason at all that if at any point I am contacted by a lawyer about paying medical bills for a non-existent injury, I will do something else ‘ridiculous’ and ‘childlike’ like toilet papering a Certain Reviwers house or broadcasting my witty and hilarious movie commentary over a loudspeaker during each and every film I will ever attend from this point on.

(the editor Remus J. Lupin wishes to clarify for legal reasons that comments above are aimed at no particular individual, all wishes views presented are the writer and the writers views alone, and to please not sue the paper)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  3rd March 2009

Film: 101 Fantastic Beasts Director: Newt Scamander Plot Summary: CGI animals have a good time. Audience have a good time.

Scamander has always had a talent for animation, even his questionable films like Beasts Which Are Fantastic If Only We Knew Where To Find Them (nonsensical, long-winded title) and The Porpentina Goldstein Story (thought it was going to be about hedgehogs. It was not.) should be seen purely for their onscreen beauty alone.

Thankfully, 101 Fantastic Beats wasn’t a repeat of the Hedgehog Incident but rather exactly what it says on the tin, 101 Fantastic Beasts romping around the city and having a jolly good time, until one of them dies and the entire world becomes a bleak hell-scape that you are desperate to escape because you can’t stop crying.

Unfortunately my screening experience of this charming film was somewhat hindered by the near constant stream of insults and accusations of ‘eye assault’ from a Certain Reviewer which culminated in said reviewer tipping popcorn that Was Not Hers across The Innocent Victims Lap.

The reviewers in question needn’t have ever spoken again but because a Certain Reviewer had slandered another Wholly Blameless Reviewer in her paper, which the Wholly Blameless Reviewer’s Mother reads, some things had to be sorted out. And those things were trying to get the Certain Reviewer to print a retraction so the Wholly Blameless Reviewers Mother would stop bloody going on about it.  

On top of this Wholly Blameless was mocked mercilessly for showing emotion during what ranks as one of the most heart-breaking scenes of all time, next to such movie moments as the ending of Dead Poets Society and the shooting of Bambi’s mother in Bambi. Obviously a Certain Reviewer needs to borrow a heart so she doesn’t have to poke fun at others for having what she does not: feelings. Wholly Blameless would be happy to lend her some of his, as he’s just good like that and not at all the ‘slice of expired a*shole’ he’d previously been accused of being.

101 Beasts has heart (unlike Certain Reviewer’s) and is appropriate for the whole family excluding twelve year olds, because obviously they’re terrible and you’d never want to take them anywhere anyway, so it’s a win-win.

(The editor wishes to clarify that the writers list of saddest movie moments is flawed because it has left off the Jack death scene from Titanic because the writer thinks ‘Cameron clearly emotionally manipulated the audience’ and ‘there was plenty of room for both of them on that door’ because the writer is an imbecile. The editor cannot believe he is the film critic.)

Godric’s Post                                                                                  11th April 2009

Film: The Cupboard Under The Stairs Director: Gilderoy Lockhart Summary: You really don’t want to know.

Gilderoy Lockhart has won two Oscars, and yet every time I watch one of his films I have to forcefully remind myself that it wasn’t shot by a nine-year old with a camcorder who uses their dog as a sound assistant. The dullness of the film will stun and bewilder all who see it, as it defies reason why such a thing should be made.

True Hairy Chins Shouldn’t Be Seen By The Public was wildly funny (despite meaning to be a serious documentary), but aside from that I can’t think of a Lockhart film I’ve ever enjoyed aside from classics like Gadding With Ghouls and Travels With Trolls which hardly look like Lockhart films at all, despite him having directed them.

Cupboard Under The Stairs is so mind-blowing ridiculous, from the wooden dialogue to the extended shots of director and star Lockhart doing mind-numbingly boring tasks while smiling garishly, that when I found myself sitting next to a Certain Reviewer I didn’t even bother to move but rather stayed if only to have something to do. A slight physical fight broke out, and by fight I mean a Certain Reviewer hit me for a comment I made about the twenty second long director credit, so obviously I pinched her, and then before I knew what was happening we had been thrown out.

I don’t want you to think, dear reader who has clicked on this review and therefore pays my rent, that I might have acted unprofessionally by getting thrown out a movie twenty minutes in. I want to clarify: I absolutely acted unprofessionally. There is no ‘might’ about it. But my point still stands: the film was garbage, and that fact that I could tell this from only the first twenty minutes is further evidence of its garbagery.

Now I know at this point you’re all clambering to hear more about the two hours I spent alone with a Certain Reviewer, as for some bizarre reason, you’re all incredibly interested in our relationship built off pure loathing and irritation. Well, prepare yourselves readers, because a Certain Reviewer’s favorite filmmaker is not only Wes Anderson (!! There should be a limit to the amount of pastel on a screen at one point). But she also hasn’t read the best novel of all time, The Great Gatsby, and then told me that that ‘wasn’t that weird’ and asked me to ‘close my mouth’ because ‘its been two minutes’ and its ‘getting weird’.

However she did earn points back by liking Star Wars (if she hadn’t, I may have committed a crime worse than Cupboard Under the Stairs’ acting) and she also noted that Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet was her sexual awakening, and I to felt a deep attraction to DiCaprio and still do despite his insistence on growing a beard every few years. She laughed at this, but I think it was a laugh of agreement, so therefore it wasn’t bad.

Cupboard Under the Stairs was one of the worst atrocities committed to film, but a Certain Reviewer agreed that Han shooting first was an important part of his character, so all is not wrong with the world.

Text from James Potter to Sirius Black: do u think i look like leonardo dicaprio

Sirius Black: no

Sirius Black: is this bc evans said she liked him

James Potter: absolutely not

Text from James Potter to Remus Lupin: do i look like leo dicaprio

Remus Lupin: firstly, dont call him leo

Remus Lupin: and secondly, obvsly not

Remus Lupin: no two people have ever looked more different

James Potter: fuck u

Text from James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: do i look like leo dicaprio

Peter Pettigrew: no u look like u have a thing for evans

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me to say that

Peter Pettigrew: whos evans

James Potter: do u not even read my fuckin column pete

Peter Pettigrew: it costs four pounds a week to subscribe to ur shitty paper i don’t have that kind of money

Godric’s Post                                                                                     3rd May 2009

RED CARPET WATCH

The Godric’s own Sirius Black, gossip columnist extraordinaire, was sent to the Red Carpet premiere of A Streetcar Named the Knightbus and reported back to us on all the hot gossip and glamour of the night.

In what may have been my favorite red-carpet to date, not in the least because Rita Skeeter was thrown out for badgering guests only ten minutes in, but because the greatest thing in the world happened. It was so great in fact, that I managed to look past the colossal injustice of me not being invited to walk the carpet myself, which was clearly a mistake (the editor Remus J Lupin would like to clarify it was not) and have a roaring good night.

May I just clarify that by roaring good night I mean I got absolutely plastered (The editor wishes to state that The Godric does not promote drinking) so the night comes back to me in bits, and from what I can remember everyone looked great. I can’t remember what the film was about, or even if they let me in (editor: they did not.) but even if it wasn’t I’m sure the film was good too. (editor: it was average)

But as I mentioned above, the best thing in the world happened, and that was that The Godric’s very own film critic James Potter got to walk the red carpet. He will tell you this is because his insightful and poignant columns are finally getting the attention they deserve. Any sane person would then loudly talk over him and say the real reason is because he’s become rapidly more popular with the introduction of a Miss Lily Evans, also a film critic, into his weekly reviews. Or, as James calls her, A Certain Reviewer. (editor: for legal reasons the editor must assert that A Certain Reviewer could be any individual and to please not sue the paper for defamation.)

Turns out Miss Evans had a popularity boost as well, because she was also on the red carpet, looking ravishing in a backless teal ballgown, and honestly, readers, it was a sight to see Evans in that dress. Potter obviously thought so to, as he spent the entire night staring. And not subtle staring. Obvious, in-awe, I-can’t-believe-a-person-can-look this-good, staring.

Now, once I’d gotten over the fact that not once in our ten-year friendship had James ever given me that look, I was absolutely thrilled. I had a thirty pound bet going that they’d be together by May and I’d just won, if that look was any indication. (the editor: it was twenty pounds.)

Furthermore, Evans and Potter spent the entire night talking, not even noticing how the cameras had utterly latched on to them despite having no idea who they were, purely based on the looks they were giving each other. It was a sight to behold, seeing two utterly oblivious people in formalwear hold a conversation probably about the merits of dressing gowns (they talk about weird stuff like that) while what felt like the entire world took photos.

Now I’m aware I’m meant to be discussing the gossip and glamour from the whole night and not just two D-list celebrities who happen to both be my friends. But consider this: I do not care. These photos are modern art. Both so clearly have a crush on each other it’s embarrassing. Even Moony would have to agree (the editor: I do.). Anyway, in summary of the night: I bet everyone reading this that they’ll be screwing in a month. Mark my words.

[image: a man in a suit and a woman in a dress, against a while backdrop with A Street Car Named the Knightbus film logo printed across it. Her head is turned towards him, laughing, holding a delicate purse. He is looking at her, mouth parted, like she is the first girl he has ever seen. Something to be looked at just to make sure she didn’t disappear, blown by the wind, like in a dream. A dream girl- except not. A real girl, in a real dress, in a real place. He can’t quite believe it. A hundred camera flashes go in the background.]

Text from Sirius Black to James Potter: so whens the wedding

James Potter: i fuckin hate u

Sirius Black renamed the group james’ got the hots for evans

James Potter: this is cyber bullying

James Potter: im calling netsafe

Remus Lupin renamed the group netsafe cant help the fact that ur in love with evans

James Potter renamed the group stop now

Sirius Black renamed the group not a chance mate

Sirius Black created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on

This page received 17,798 likes.

Text from Lily Evans to Sirius Black: im going to fucking maim u. take it down.

Sirius Black: sent a link

Lily Evans: if that’s a link to the fucking page i will cut your balls off

Sirius Black: its not

Sirius Black: on an unrelated note do not click on that link it is a virus I just remembered

Remus Lupin created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on part two because lily made us delete the last one

This page received: 21,104 likes.

(don’t forget to check out ellie’s part here)

#buffysummere #love you so much my love HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL (A BUFFY REFERENCE LOOK AT ME GO) #jily #james potter #lily evans #ellie #brotp: the lot #otp: alright evans? #hp #carolineswritingtag #carolines collabs