#agh. complicated! it's complicated!

[sheathandshear]

I guess what bothers me about a lot of disability justice approaches to healthcare -- the "doctors must trust that patients are the experts of own bodies" approach -- is that this is the perspective of people with high health literacy written for audiences of people who also have high health literacy, most of whom I think truly do not grasp just how many people have extremely poor health literacy, especially those from groups who for reasons of race, class, ethnicity, immigration status, gender, and/or often a combination of these factors are less likely to have access to accurate health information and culturally competent, trustworthy healthcare providers. When it comes to health and wellness, quite a number of people in our society don't know jack about shit! Even more hold a number of factually inaccurate folk beliefs that range from unhelpful to dangerous. (Hell, even if you have a high degree of health literacy, you probably hold some unexamined false beliefs too, because that's how culture works!) It's true that people are the experts on symptoms as they feel them, but most people are not experts on what those symptoms mean in a medical sense or what can be done about them.

It's a massive blind spot and a symptom of the larger problem of Disability So Educated -- that the vast majority of disability/chronic illness advocates/activists are heard ARE experts on their bodies, because they've had to become experts, but they were able to do so because they are a) literate in English, b) medically literate, c) information literate, and d) have access to and understanding of how to navigate the internet, whereas your average person, particularly your average disabled person, is not. And if you want to create a radical healthcare system that is truly equitable and just -- as opposed to an oligarchy of the educated, i.e. what we have now -- that proposed system has to account for both EDS/MCAS/POTS patients who come in with a 4" three-ring binder of medical literature AND patients who firmly believe that ivermectin cures COVID, vaccines cause autism, co-sleeping with infants is safe, there's no difference between a rescue inhaler and preventative medication, and having an average blood sugar of 600 is perfectly healthy as long as you feel fine.

#health is complicated! the various factors and motivations that go into health behaviors are complicated! #but it often feels like disability justice folks get VERY wedded to the patient-is-always-right narrative #(and as a disabled person you encounter many doctors ranging from dismissive to malicious to incompetent to well-meaning but ignorant) #and ignore everyone and everything that might challenge or complicate that narrative which is... most disabled people #and most abled people! #we've gone from (doctors) the patient is NEVER an expert to (disability justice folks) the patient is ALWAYS the expert #from experience the truth is on average somewhere in the middle #but I get very defensive of all the acutely and chronically ill and disabled patients I work with who disability justice advocates... #...use as rhetorical props without seeming to have much interest in or understanding of their actual lives or personhood #(and don't even get me started on the rampant ageism in many disability advocacy circles predominated by younger people) #agh. complicated! it's complicated! #health care #disability #adventures in nursing #politics #chronic illness

[parkercore-69]

here have some sketches i did of adam stanheight because personally i think he’s babygirl

(i might colour this properly at some point)

#AGH sorry if it looks off or inaccurate it was my first time drawing him lolz #i also hate side profiles #eeergh if yu think it looks weird just like ignore it and like it anyway #its complicated #saw 2004 #adam faulkner stanheight #adam stanheight #teehee #digital art #saw posting #art #parker’s art

[mutantmayhems]

RAPH & SLASH | 3.15 CLASH OF THE MUTANIMALS requested by @robins-treasure

#agh... all the time i think about the complicated feelings raph probably has about slash #because he loves slash. but he loved spike too. #and i can't help but wonder if raph ever wishes he was still spike. yknow. #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #2012 tmnt #tmnt 2k12 #2k12 tmnt #tmnt raph #raph tmnt #slash tmnt #tmnt slash #may makes #2012

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au

[cubedmango]

「30歳で片思いを拗らせると魔法使いになれるらしい」 1 — english translation

#cherry magic #my translation #should i make a tag for translations i wonder.... #anyways um. i tried?? stuffs probably wrong???? listen i did my best pls #[wants to explode the japanese language w my brain but i get exploded instead] #the title agh. i wanted it to be like the official name but it doesnt work that much i think.. wizardsawa premise is too complicated #if anyone has corrections for me tho Please send them over ill be grateful #next part ?? soon?????? i dont know tbh akjdskf maybe if ppl want more i can try again

[brookheimer]

what do you think would be the best way for the pregnancy to be handled? pure personal opinion

hmmm i'm honestly not sure, especially given that this season is rumored to just take place over a span of ten days, each episode spanning a day. but i'm gonna go unpopular opinion here and say i would be pretty fucking disappointed if it's just, like, an immediate abortion??? like idk what tv yall are watching but i feel like abortion plotlines are a fucking dime a dozen these days and maybe like one in every ten is anything approaching 'empowering,' even though all ten are framed that way. i think abortion vs pregnancy is often framed as a, like, sophie's choice for women -- do you choose to be a person or do you choose to be a woman? -- and it honestly just reinforces the exact same dichotomies they're claiming to break in my opinion. not every abortion narrative but, like... too many of them. so i'm wary lol

rest under the cut cuz it got soooooo fucking long!!

it's the same as with Strong Female Characters: it's not actually a well-written, empowering female character if her 'strength' is dependent on her complete and total rejection of her identity as a woman and every trait associated with it. we've created these, like, anti-feminine career women girlboss warriors whatever as a balm to the terrible hyperfeminized mother-before-all-else classic caricature of womanhood, but tbh, both narratives are equally harmful -- they're not only both still reinforcing the same dichotomy of, like, family/love/emotion/empathy/interdependence etc vs self/respect/rationality/intelligence/independence, but even reinforcing the valuing of the latter (the 'masculine' traits) over the former! by defining strong female characters as those who reject femininity, you're literally just reinforcing the idea that 'femininity' and 'feminine traits' are bad, weak, etc -- the only 'empowering' thing is that hey! women who act like men can be respected! except not really and they'll always be viewed as a woman anyways!

kind of got off topic but, like, that's often what abortion plotlines come down to in my experience -- housewife or career woman? man or woman? and i'm just fucking sick of it, man. like, it's one thing, obviously, for the world of a show and the characters inhabiting it to enforce these views and be judgmental etc etc etc, but it's so frequently driving the writing and narrative itself. i think that abortion plotlines can be good, but honestly? usually only when the character in question genuinely has no desire whatsoever to have kids, like diane in bojack horseman. because if a character is unsure, what typically happens is they'll get bullied into a specific outcome, and it's then framed as 'empowering' and about 'the right to choose.' if a career-driven woman maybe wants to have a baby but gets an abortion because she knows it'll ruin her career, that's not empowering! that's so fucking sad! why are we calling that empowering! that's just as tragic as having a kid because you fear the ostracization you'll receive if you abort! so. i don't know. i think abortion plotlines are really hard to do well because they always just end up oversimplifying everything and turning it into proof of how Strong the woman who got the abortion is -- like, sometimes strength is not getting the abortion. it's not like being a mother actually makes you weaker or lesser. so why do so many of the shows who claim to criticize that notion end up perpetuating it?

i think there's a lot of really fucking interesting stuff that could be done with shiv's pregnancy, and honestly? most of it isn't even fucking related to what happens with her pregnancy. it's just using that as a vehicle to explore layers of her character that we haven't been able to before, largely because she's been so vehemently obsessed with obscuring them. i've been wanting to delve deeper into shiv's relationship with her gender, with caroline, with gerri, with notions of femininity, etc etc etc for YEARS and this is the perfect fucking opportunity. i want to know what shiv actually wants. who she actually is, beneath the 'hypermasculine' veneer she's had to adopt to even be allowed in the room, let alone respected. like does she actually want children, does she actually want a family? has she only been against it out of fear for her career? or is it genuinely something she desires? how much of her relationship with gender is rooted in spite? who is she outside of that spite, and how far will she go to achieve it? will she have a kid to prove to caroline (but really to herself because caroline doesn't actually give a fuck she's gallivanting in europe with peter munion) that she can be a good mother? what does she even think motherhood should look like? does shiv want to be seen as a woman? does she want to be seen as a man who happens to be in a woman's body? does she want to be seen as a man? like, there are so many fucking interesting avenues to explore, and i mean, she's not gonna fucking have the kid in ten days. i hope they actually make the most of the opportunity this could present -- with the exception of, like, one scene, we've only ever gotten to know shiv through her relationships with the men around her. we literally know nothing about what she is outside of roy masculinity. is there anything outside roy masculinity? does she even want there to be? honestly, i've been a little frustrated in past seasons with how surface level a lot of the shiv stuff has been -- the others get so much internal depth, whereas shiv's characterization has largely been reactionary. like, she's usually just reacting to things people (read: men) have done to her. we know so fucking little about her life before the show! she has the potential to be like kim wexler level if they dig into her more and part of that is digging into her relationship with her gender because, like it or not, she fucking IS THE GIRL. like, that's her defining fucking feature: being The Girl. so let's dissect that!!

i know this was such a long rambling, like, non-answer lol but basically i guess i don't actually care what the outcome is of the pregnancy arc so long as it's handled with care -- so long as it's used as a means to explore the shiv we already know, rather than creating a new problem to understand instead. i think an abortion plotline is the riskiest because they're so frequently done poorly, i have no idea how a miscarriage would go but i do think there are interesting ways it could be done, and i can't imagine shiv actually being a mom but i think there's a lot to unpack with shiv even just considering motherhood. idk what the end outcome will be, but as long as the pregnancy plotline is used to expand upon shiv rather than punish her for her femininity or make some grand moral claim about The Correct Way To Be A Strong Woman, i think i won't be too upset. and i have faith that it'll be decent, honestly. this show -- both the writers and snook herself -- cares too much about shiv to do her that dirty. ....i hope.

#as always sorry for the length and rambling etc #i might be a romangirl for succession but above everything else i am always ALWAYS a Complicated Female Character girl #perennially obsessed with characters who don't 'do gender right' to quote judith butler (eugh i know sorry yall) #thats part of why i love roman and shiv so much - both as charas individually and their dynamic #roman is a boy who displays 'feminine' (read: weak) traits like emotion empathy love sadness fear etc #shiv probably saw all that growing up and learned that she should be disgusted by it so she was #she molded herself into being a girl displaying 'masculine' traits bc it's the only way she could survive #but first and foremost she's always a woman which means that if she shows any emotion (and she does) she will be skewered alive #in a way that kendall for instance isn't. roman isn't either but that's also because he's always shown so much emotion that no one takes #him seriously -- no one takes 'feminine traits' etc seriously. so baby roman was fucked from the getgo bc he loved his parents more openly #than a boy should have or something #agh. so much thereerAJKKASJDjka #so many thoughts so little time #succession #succession spoilers #shiv roy #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy

[anemoflower]

Me: Yeah the crush on Wrio is not that big tbh. I get over it, I'm fine.

Me, whenever new content of Wrio gets released: FUCDGE WAAAGHHGGHH HE'S SO- OMGGG

#;babbling phia #why is it so complicated #why is my mind denying that I like him #agh #I'm talking about his character demo btw #I haven't watched it yet since I'm at work rn but I saw a gifset and I'm- hfdrwfyrhskf #I'm on the floor crying why is he soooooooo unnngghh

[hollypies]

It's alright if you don't want to answer this- I know I'm late- but I don't mind the rambling. You aren't self-centered for wanting to unload all those weights that must be holding you down.

It's alright, Holly.

Thanks. I only just saw this today afg agg I'm currently having another crisis of wanting to bite myself so ooughhg the circle of life lol.

Uhm. I do really appreciate it!!! Im probably not going to be super stable in the next few days? Probably on and off emotions so apologies in advance :(

! I'm drawing some stanley parable anf then I'm gonna draw Question for a bit prolly! Then back to rainworld and Hollow knight :]

#holly answers #original character chaos #sorry i am! struggling with my paranoia. bad. like.. bad bad right now. #its.. complicated agh #i do want to say! dont worry about me actually hurtibg myself or anything! i promise i wont. #i have. learned restraint and other techniques for ! that ! #also i am turning you ibto a slugcat. prepare

[spiderducks]

i need to make another werewolf au just so i can draw more dogboy spiderduck without feeling like i’m encroaching on my au co-owner’s turf. unfortunately i did waste all my good ideas on the first one, so, rip

#like yes it’s my au and i can do what i want but also. it kind of isn’t anymore? #it’s complicated #so. i Can do what i want. and Will do what i want. but also i feel weirdly guilty doing it now so agh!!!

[cuntylittlesalmon]

i have suddenly become a home owner in such a fucked way

#just….agh #being next of kin sucks…!! #having complicated feelings tonight about my dead dad (tm) #edit: not me realizing i’m more like my oc sawyer than i ever was before #shout out to the ‘found your dad’s corpse’ gang frrrrr 😖 #the only difference is my dad didn’t commit suicide…!

[smallblueandloud]

[takes a hammer to my wips folder] WHY IS EVERYTHING HERE SO EMOTIONALLY DELICATE

#i KNOW WHY but AGH #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #fic: you've come to shake my hand #idk if that fic has a tag yet but sure yeah the title's been pretty firm for months now #why do i continue to write fics about complicated topics #i could be writing a modern au of star wars right now!!!!!!!!!!!! #but i have to do something silly like ENJOY WRITING EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED CONVERSATIONS #EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD AND I ALSO HATE IT #[hades_hair_smooth.gif] i'm fine everything is fine i'm gonna go try to be delicate about astrid pickford again

[just-spacetrash]

😈😇

#im rewatching s1 of gomens before s2 cause i dont remember it well enough #and i always thought that from like. the wwdits ofmd gomens superwholock i only rly cared about wwdits #like the two others are rly good too but theyre just not like THAT compelling to me #like not as perfectly manufactured to me like wwdits is #but bro. BRO #im tearing up from the gomens theme music alone im loving this #the six thousand year old situationship is EXACTLY my type of character dynamic #and the constant like. humanity of it all #and u can rly see pratchetts touch his characters always have so much humanity in them #like the way theyre all so complicated so multifaceted so imperfect and so human #agh!! #the constant reality of it all i am in love #the sort of comfort in life and reality #and you know i love love saving the world #and like 'it was written like this. it is destiny' and then its not!! because humanity is humanity and hope is relentless!!!!!!!!!! #agh #im sounding like komaeda again #my post #im only on ep4 of my rewatch so the funniest thing would be for me to completely misremember the ending lmao #if im spouting shit then just ignore me teehee

[camping-with-monsters]

Concept sketches for Cyrmic’s parents???

Bonus: little guy alert.

#okay these designs are bound to change a lot #especially his mom. I don’t think I made her weird enough #she’s super cute but she’s… too cute?? idk. #I don’t have names for them yet but I’ve been thinking of his mom being named Petunia???? #which is. admittedly even cuter. agh #little Cyrmic is so ugly <3 #look at him he looks so stupid /pos #don’t have much for his dad rn #just that concept sketch. his dad is all goofy and shit #Cyrmic is way more pristine than his dad who’s just. kinda a goofball #despite the complications Cyrmic faced being half human and cryptid?? they genuinely loved him a lot #they were actually really good parents. they loved their weird little son #fun fact Cyrmic has little sheep ears but they’re uh. kinda hidden behind the horns #yeah they don’t know how that happened either #that’s what happens when you fuck around. you find out. #Cyrmic Danderdilly #Bliss #ocs #original characters #original stories #WIP #work in progress #character wip #The Kiwi Draws

[sebbyisland]

If I had more time I would make a literary essay on a homoerotic reading of the love rivalry between Lucy Steel and Elinor Dashwood in Jane Austen’s Sense & Sensibility but I suppose I can leave this idea on the homoerotic subtext webbed site

#Jane austen #rolling in her grave as I type this no doubt LOL #SENSE & sensibility #i want to do fanart lowkey but .agh big complicated clothing designs #Seb out

[astrxealis]

what if i finally made that mutual list soon ... what if ......

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #it's been months since i planned to :(( i even asked a lot of y'all what emojis you wanted but it might be diff now #so either i ask again or i just don't do stuff w emojis <//3 and instead your fav character or smth IDK #+ some people i am technically mutuals w but it's not like idk. ??? hm. #so it's a lil complicated bcs idk how exactly to go about it but agh i'm tired of typing now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#my desire to b productive vs my desire to create horribly earnest narut0 drawings #its just. i have a scene in my head that's like way too complicated to draw. but im gonna draw it anyway #and its gonna haunt me bc the dialogue is clunky. but whatever im gonna do it. this weekend. that is #i said id work on more writing school stuff today but ah i didn't sleep much and i did lots of focusing all day so like #brain is sorta mush now #snd all i can thibk abt is how much i lov 1ruka being narut0s number one dad brother #i just want to create a million scenarios where 1ruka cries over how much of a good kid narut0 is and how much bullshit he has to deal with #i just want someone to feel that pain for him. i mean. i guess thats s4sukes deal. but it feels different coming from a parent #from 1ruka it feels more. i wanna protect u. and from s4suke it feels more. i understand. lets destroy the world together. make them pay #they r the true ultimate narut0 stans. narut0 defense squad. everyone else back the fuck off #k4kashi is a 2nd teir stan. only bc hes got his own weird bullshit in canon. in my head hes also on the narut0 elite defense squad #wtf am i talking abt. ugh i need to sleep. i have to talk to ppl tomorrow. ugh no i should work on stuff #agh. fucj it maybe ill just wake up at like 5am and work on it then. and shift into proper work mode at 9 or whatever #blah. i now understand why i was feeling so like normal before this. its bc i was well rested lmao. im not at familiar levels of #exhausted unstabled energy. lov that for me #unrelated