#after 3 years you're no longer a new driver you're just a bad one and they shouldn't be driving if they still feel like they need the sign | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johnmalevolent · 9 months

Note

heyyyyy, gintama for the fandom asks?

iris did you know that i love you

The first character I first fell in love with: Gintoki. i've loved him even before i watched gintama (that blorbo in law situation) it was of course partly sharing a friend's enthusiasm but also his design. now that i know his whole character it just makes me fall even more... and these are why:

his dead fish eye. his lack of energy. his sweet tooth. the one arm sticking out of his yukata bcs he thinks it's cool (he insists its just so he could grab his wooden sword faster). the way he rarely refuses to help people even if he acts annoyed about it.

he's kind of like reigen in many ways (28 year old freelancer - albeit questionable job - and bad older brother figures for some middle schoolers)

he's a gag character but sometimes he also acts as a straight man. i think he believes himself to be the sanest person when compared to his childhood friends (which. honestly doesn't say much). also im weak for characters voiced by mr Sugita

oh yeah have i mentioned his design. of course his main outfit is really cool but i love the ones we sometimes see him in. like his winter clothes, the ryokan uniform, shiroyasha, white blood king, that one time he switched job to a truck driver, his host suit, enmi... so many. he also crossdressed several times and slayed the look. despite wanting to have him in my bed someday im actually not that crazy over shirtless gintoki (except for his pink strawberry boxer shorts). the rule is the more layers of fabric he puts on, the more in love i am

and of course his *checks notes* wonderful personality

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: tbh Takasugi.. he's Gintoki's childhood friend but after what happened 10 years ago their relationship seems mostly hateful on the outside, but they actually treasure the other very much as a friend. when he first appeared he was introduced as an antagonist, probably the main one for the whole series, and it was kinda meh because at that point i was watching gintama for the comedy. but after watching the flashback of their time together it hurts just thinking about them. I've rewatched this one scene of them from the Gintama final movie and i cried every single time. if you're okay w major spoilers the clip should be in my "#jiwa perak" tag under a read more

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: see this is hard cos im not really deep in the fandom buuuut if i have to choose its shinpachi... its not that i dont like him, I just care for him the least...... he's good when paired with other characters (with gintoki & kagura or with his sister) but when he's by himself he's not that interesting. and i get it he's supposed to not be interesting. it's a whole joke that shinpachi is the most boring character. idk sorry shinpachi i hope they give you some new trait in the ginpachi spin-off

The character I love that everyone else hates: sorry idk who is the hated character in the fandom 😭

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Kintoki, maybe? he was a robot created per Shinpachi & Kagura's request because their current boss (Gintoki), who was nowhere to be found (probably drinking), is very irresponsible. so Kintoki is the polar opposite of Gintoki, created to be perfect in the ways gintoki couldn't. i used to really love him because of his charisma (took a bunch of screenshots & collected fanart of him) but after his arc ended i kinda forgot about him lmao. im chill about him now

The character I would totally smooch: gintoki. in case that wasn't clear

The character I’d want to be like: i want that katsura non-binary look and then my life would be complete. i dont want his brain tho

The character I’d slap: sakamoto. i love him but he's so annoying <3 i wld kill him irl

A pairing that I love: hijikata/gintoki!! i think they have a nice dynamic. unlike gintoki, hijikata is a very strict person. everytime they meet they always fight, but they understand each other and do well when fighting together. both of them insists they're not friends but when gintoki left town hijikata said "I'm gonna look for him." how do you expect me to not go insane.

ginsachi is also up there, and tbh if gintoki said he'd marry me after our first meeting I'd react like sacchan did. sacchan is a creep but i support girls wrong etc. it's a shame they dont really have many episodes together after that except when it's another harem episode :/

A pairing that I despise: GINTOKI/KYUUBEI. im glad there isnt actually many fancontent of them but my god do i despise it. i hate that kyuubei has sooo much potential as a non-binary character but became a part of gintoki's harem. like. i cannot see in kyuubei the same character that appeared in their debut arc. i know them starting to embrace their feminine side is an important trait but at this point it feels like they're turned into a girl just because. i know it sounds like im just talking about kyuubei im just really pissed lmao. it also doesnt make any sense to me how they would even have feelings for gintoki :(

#i. might have said too many things #literally tysm bestie i dont recommend you to watch this show but its good. never even consider watching it #krispeaks #asks #loverboybrightsideghost #ask game #jiwa perak

3 notes · View notes

that-respiratory-student · 9 months

Text

8/19/23 Update

Hi tumblr,

I haven't started school yet, so there hasn't been much to update on. I'm not sure if I talked about my classes for the fall, but I registered for Chem-100 and Biol-107. These are both online courses. I initially was gonna take Chem in-person, but after remembering what it was like going to school last semester, I decided to try to get an online class. My school is a 45 minute drive from my house... I can't drive yet so I have to take the bus which just makes this even longer. They often DID NOT follow their schedule and drivers would just take off if no one was there. Like bro...you're 10 mins early...YEAH NO ONE IS THERE YET. People would complain, nut the drivers suck and would still just take off. Also...LOTS of weirdos on the bus. So, I've opted out.

It was hard to get this Chem class though. It said they had openings, but that it was also waitlisted. Waitlisted usually means that it is full, which this class was not. I really wanted this class, so I could be more flexible so I asked a few people. I asked the professor of the class who never got back to me. I asked admissions who at first told me it's waitlisted and I have to wait... like girl I know you didn't read my email because I said it's waitlisted but also shows open seats... so I emailed admissions again saying something along those lines and then they got me connected with someone who works on the STEM courses. She was able to help me and I finally got in! All the people I asked and they either didn't give a shit or just completely ignored me.

The lesson I learned from this is that if you want something you need to go for it and that people really don't care, so again if you want it you need to put that effort in because no one will do it for you. No one cares as much as you do.

I can't wait for when I'm an RT in a couple years. Time are so tough right now, and I won't even lie those checks would be life changing. I know school will be tough, but I have to get out of this. I hate living like this. We're not even check to check. We're hoping for a miracle every time.

Some more related to RT would be that I finished my general ed more the degree! 7 classes were required and I got 3 A's, 2 B's, and 2 C's. The C's were from when I first started school during the pandemic and I had also just graduated and was dealing with some health issues. I've grown, persevered, and learnt from my mistakes while in school. My grades have been better and I'm proud of myself :)

Now I'm working on the prerequisites for the program. There are 3 and I got one done so far: algebra with a B. I need Biol 107 and Chem 100. I'm so excited to see this all filled out and feel the pride in my chest of knowing that there were tough and sleepless night but I pushed through and will be closer to having a fulfilling career which allows me to live my life the way I want to live it.

That's actually one of the things that drew me to RT was the flexibility and pay. I want to be able to spend half to more than half of my time not working. I want that work life balance that RT can provide. I've had my fair share of health issues. Lots of testing and procedures. I know it can be scary and you're very vulnerable at those moments. I was lucky to have staff that cared for me and helped make those moments less scary. I would like to be able to give the same experience to others. I also have family with COPD and asthma. I have asthma as well. I've had some really bad attacks. I'll work hard to give my patients the best care that I would have wanted for my family or myself.

I know I'll make an excellent RT. I've also considered pediatrics since I have a background with kids and honestly love working with children.

Well that's it for now. Not huge updates, but still some new thing in my life and on my mind.

#respiratory therapy #respiratorytherapist #respiratorystudent #med student #medicalstudent #respiratorytherapystudent #womeninstem #stem #uni #college #university

0 notes

arthemis-forge · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3 Body and Soul (Crimson)

Warnings: None (future nsfw)

A/N: Hello guys! Sorry for the delay, what happens is that I was a little busy with some personal things but I'm back.

I will try to update twice a week and each time as we progress through the story, make the chapters longer. Another thing is I didn't notice that the previous chapter i published the draft instead of the final version. Which had many otorgraphic and writing errors. But it's already corrected. If you find something let me know so I can fix it. Also I am very happy for all the support, thank you for your lovely comments. Another thing, Do you want me to create a tag list?. Please tell me in the comments. That's all I wanted to say. Enjoy your reading! 🖤

Chapter 3(Crimson)

Lost in my thoughts, I walked towards the exit of the building while i was looking at the sky with some concern. It wouldn't be long before the sun rise.

And honestly, I was very scared. I did'nt know anyone in this city and didn't know what time it was in the area. My life was in danger and although I was sure that I still had time based on what the sky looked like.

I was still very worried about not knowing what time it was exactly. Looking at my watch was in vain. It was scheduled for London time not New York.

I was very nervous but I had to calm down. So i calculated that there were 2 hours left until the sun rise. And although it sounds like it's a lot of time, I don't know how much traffic there is in this city. And I needed to be in the nearest hotel as soon as posible.

Again I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice that a taxi parked in front of me, it was not until I heard the drivers voice that I noticed it.

—Good night miss, are you waiting for someone else? Or do you need me to take you somewhere? —

Hearing that question made me feel more relaxed again.

—Sure, I actually have nowhere to go. Could you recommend a hotel near here. One with good facilities. The price point doesn’t matter but I really need to get a good place to relax, preferably the closest hotel to the airport.—

I told him as I opened the door and carried my suitcase.

—Of course ma'am, in fact we are close to many good hotels. They are a few streets away. Would you like me to take you to see the exteriors and based on how they look you choose one?. I assure you that they are all very good, some more than others but none are bad. —

The man smiled while he waited for my answer.

I sighed feeling realised.

—Yes please, I would like it very much. —

The man laughed as he drived the car.

—You are not from here are you? I can tell by your accent. —

I nodded as i looked out the window. Analyzing the area I was in.

—That's right, I'm from London. I was transferred from my job. —

—That's so interesting. Sounds like fun to have a job where you travel a lot. —

—Well yeah you're not wrong. But I also needed to start a new life. —

I confessed while we entered to a large avenue with many buildings with hotels and apartments. Some were prettier than others.But nothing look bad about them.

—Is one of you liking? Or do you want me to go further so you can see more options?. —

The truth is that I could already choose one of the many hotels that were on the street. And I couldn't be so demanding, since i needed a safe place away from natural light as soon as possible. But a hunch told me to accept the man's proposal.

—Sure, I think we can see a few more options.—

No matter how much the car moved forward, nothing interested me. It wasn't until we reached the corner of the avenue that a large black building with Victorian architecture caught my attention. On the outside it had an ad with red calligraphy that said "Crimson".

—Stop here, I like this one. —

I pointed to the old building.

—I’m sorry to tell you this, but that hotel is very strict. They do not allow the entry to anyone who doesn't have a membership. It has already happened several times that I leave people here and they end up removing them from the place.—

—Don't worry I will try to enter. If i can´t then I’ll choose one of the hotels that are on this street. How much do I owe you? —

—If you insists, it’s $30 dollars.—

I nodded as I handed over his money.

—Thank you very much, also keep the change. —

I took my suitcase and closed the car's door as I approached the entrance of the building. However I was stopped at the door by a very tall man with brown hair and grey eyes.

— Good night, Miss. Could you give me your membership please. —

Embarrassed, I bit my lower lip and then proceeded to do something I didn't wanted.

—You're going to let me in no matter the rules of the place or what your bosses say. —

I smiled already knowing the results of my action. The man nodded and then open the door for me.

Once inside I noticed that a tall girl with black hair and violet eyes smiled at me as she applauded me.

—That was so wesome, Alice. Just as I expected, James didn't cause you any trouble. —

The girl approached very excited.

—Who are you and why do you know my name?—

I asked very confused and feeling insecure. Since she was aware of what I had just done and the worst thing was that she knew my name. This was getting very strange and I was not liking it.

—I am Grace Crimson. Owner of the hotel and great friend of your Boss Nat. —

—Do you know Nat? —

I said in a very incredulous voice.

—Of course Alice. But hey that is the least important thing right now, let me show you your room and I give you Nats phone number so you can call her.—

While I was trying to process the information, one of the attendants took my suitcase.

—Did Nat tell you in any way that I will come here? —

She just laughed at my question.

— I knew you'd say that. Don't be silly, honey. You are acting like a newborn vampire in the clan. Look dear, I'll explain. I can see the future. Today I had a vision of you in which I saw you giving orders to my guard right outside my hotel. It should be noted that I was concerned, because I didn't knew who you were, so I called all the offices until I found some information about you. To at least make sure that you weren't dangerous to us and to be able to take the necessary measures. By the way, I don't want you to feel bad about what I told you. But these are difficult times and we must take care of each other. —

Of course she was right, what a fool I was. I have been so involved in my personal feelings and problems that I overlook the fact that many in our community have that ability.

—Don't worry, it's okay Grace. I understand. I know how the security protocol works. And I also understand perfectly that you investigated me and that you needed to know who I was. —

I confessed.

—I already knew you were going to say that tho. Hey you are more friendly and understanding than I expected from someone who can control people's minds with their voice. No ofence but your kind is usually a very pretentious. —

I couldn't help laughing at that comment.

—I was like that many years ago, but someone changed me. I try not to abuse my powers too much, only when it’s necessary. —

I lowered my gaze to caress a silver ring with a red diamond that I had on my ring finger.

When she saw how my mood changed, she immediately hug me.

—Don't torment yourself over the past. —

She took me by the hand to walk me through those long corridors of the building. I must admit that I felt a little emotional. The place reminded me a lot of my grandmother's house.

—Here is your room, as you can see it is very spacious, it has a king size bed, living room, bathroom with a bathtub and a beautiful balcony. Also here is Nat's phone number. And don't forget to close all the curtains including the ones on the bed. —

She handed me the keys, a red card and a pos it with Nat’s new number.

—James leave the suitcase on her bed. —

The man obeyed her order and put the suitcase on my bed.

—Sure Grace. Thank you very much for all the hospitality. It has been a long time since I felt welcomed in a place. —

She smiled

—I know we are going to be very good friends. —

After that she closed the door behind me.

It's amazing how someone's life could change in an instant.

One day you are in London crying for your ex and the next day you are in New York and you're dreaming with a man who doesn’t even exist.

Thinking about that, I began to close all the curtains in the room and then i took the phone from the bureau next to the bed.

With some fear I called her, I knew that she would be very upset with me. But i had to do it.

—Hey nat it's me, Alice. —

—You are an idiot, I was so worried! Never do that to me ever again! I thought you wanted to kill yourself or something like that...

You sounded so sad. God you have take some therapy you can't continue living like this...—

I sigh very annoyed.

— Anyway, I already spoke with Bruce and he already gave you permission to work in New York. And before I forget to tell you this. Tomorrow you have a job to do. I need you in a bar, we think we found someone who can serve us for the clan. You will have to go to a concert near a local bar in the town. Grace will leave you the papers with the man's information.—

—Perfect. By the way, thank you very much for the favor. You don't know how grateful I am with you. Anyways, I will leave you, I am very tired and I would like to sleep as much as possible to be in the best possible conditions tomorrow—

—Of course dear. Have a good night. —

Grateful to Nat, I hung up the call and then closed my eyes. But not without first remembering Peter's beautiful green eyes.

#peter #peter steele #type o negative #fanfic #peter steele x oc

28 notes · View notes

tabloidtoc · 3 years

Text

National Examiner, March 22

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson -- his journey from thief to superstar

Page 2: These stars wheely like to bike -- Hugh Jackman, Eva Longoria, Matthew McConaughey, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, Russell Crowe, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Page 3: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez, Al Roker, Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith, Matt Damon, Justin Theroux, Ethan Hawke

Page 4: Jennifer Aniston's roles and costumes

Page 6: Susan Sarandon is 74 and single now and she admits she likes to date younger men because they have more inquisitive minds than older guys

Page 7: Golden Age of Glamour -- the shocking beauty tips, tricks and secrets of Hollywood's most stunning stars -- Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Crawford

Page 8: Listen to Granny -- older media influencers are getting into the act on social media, with women in their 80s and 90s earning huge followings and lots of money on Instagram -- while some are all about their head-turning styles, others go with decorating or fitness to create their granfulencer brands

Page 9: Go ahead and binge that new TV show because it's good for your mental health -- new research shows the lack of social connection we're all feeling now because of COVID-19 restrictions can be filled, at least to some degree, by watching TV, reading books and listening to music

Page 10: Lucia DeClerck has some advice for living a long life, and she knows what she's talking about because she's 105 years old -- not only did Lucia live through the 1918 Spanish Flu, she's the oldest person in her nursing home and she just beat COVID-19 -- how does she do it? Gin-soaked golden raisins

Page 11: 8 ways to prevent back pain

Page 12: Stars Still Strong and Sexy As They Hit Milestone Notorious 90 -- Marla Gibbs, Gavin MacLeod, Angie Dickinson, Barbara Eden

Page 13: William Shatner, Olympia Dukakis, Dan Rather, Rita Moreno, Willie Mays, James Earl Jones

Page 14: Dear Tony, America's Top Psychic Healer -- all marriages need care and attention to flourish

Page 15: There are nicer, more medically accurate ways to describe it, but "dead butt syndrome" says it all, that feeling of numbness or achiness from sitting too long -- it is no joke to the many people who experience the discomfort of DBS, otherwise known as lower cross syndrome, gluteal amnesia, or gluteus medius tendinosis -- people who sit at their desk all day for work are particularly prone to this syndrome, where muscle tightness in the hip flexors and weakness in the gluteus medius muscles in the buttock combine to create hip and lower-back pain, leading to numbness -- luckily there are simple remedies you can try to alleviate symptoms and even reverse the syndrome

Page 16: Princess Diana: little girl lost -- Diana's brother Charles Spencer reveals truth about heartbreaking childhood

Page 18: There are about 100 prepaid food receipts fluttering on the wall of Ruma's Deli in Missouri and if you're hungry and your pockets are empty, you can grab one, bring it to the counter and get a free meal, no strings attached

Page 19: Pixel the cat is so creepy-looking even a professional exorcist crossed himself and ran -- Alyson Kalhagen's cat has giant googly eyes, a Halloween pumpkin smile and oversized bat ears and he's also fond of making funny faces but the two-year-old has racked up a fan base online, where more than 12,000 followers find Pixel's peculiarities precious

Page 20: Cover Story -- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is huge in every way -- the muscle-bound ex-wrestler has starred in dozens of blockbuster films, has tons of projects in the works, millions of bucks and a brand new show about his childhood but he hasn't always been on top of the game -- the dynamo has gone through so many tough times and bad decisions they would sink a lesser man but he's an open book about all of them and how he fought to get to the top every step of the way

Page 22: After a long break to raise her children, Michelle Pfeiffer is on the silver screen again and looking better than ever -- the 62-year-old is in a new film called French Exit, in which she plays a tragic widow who packs up and moves to Paris with her son -- the actress says to return and thrive in an industry formerly known as being obsessed with youth is a gift -- although her husband David E. Kelley has been behind dozens of hits like The Undoing and Big Little Lies, Michelle doesn't want to work with him because she's seen a lot of couples where they seem to have a great marriage, and then they work together and next year they're filing for divorce -- next up, Michelle will play Betty Ford in the upcoming series The First Lady

Page 24: A Texas grocery delivery driver got more than just shelter from the storm when her car became stuck in a customer's driveway -- the people who lived there took her in for five days and made her feel like part of the family

Page 26: Deep Focus -- stunning underwater pix from an unseen world

Page 32: Pet Projects -- family portraits get everyone into the picture -- photographer Tasha Hall creates "farmaly" photos, which include each and every one of the household where they've got two feet, four feet, paws, claws, hooves or wings

Page 34: While everyone loves a comfortable, cozy mattress, having a really good becomes more important with age because a bad one may leave you with aches, pains and posture imbalances but the problem is that these specialty mattresses are very expensive -- fortunately, Medicare may cover up to 80 percent of the cost if you go about this purchase the right way and you'll then be responsible for the remaining 20 percent, as well as any deductible

Page 40: Psychic Self-Defense -- many people are born with a psyche that is naturally sensitive -- there has been a modern-day rise in occultism and practicing psychics and the way of the world at this time had made many more people seek help -- this has produced a far greater awareness of the need to protect and defend ourselves when working in a magical or psychic context -- we are all constantly being bombarded with psychic vibrations, not all of them good

Page 42: 20 Things You Never Knew About Tiger Woods

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Jenny McCarthy is in high spirits as she preps to tape a new episode of The Masked Singer in L.A. (picture), Goldie Hawn works out in L.A. (picture), Jane Fonda has given up on getting hitched -- she has three failed marriages and being single means she can watch whatever she wants on TV, Kelly Clarkson admits that since her marriage soured she no longer considers marriage a fairy-tale thing and she can't imagine being married again, Charlize Theron admits she hasn't made the grade when it comes to homeschooling her kids Jackson and August, Patrick Schwarzenegger is looking to follow in the footsteps of his dad Arnold Schwarzenegger but says his dad hasn't offered any pointers when it comes to a career in showbiz, Bindi Irwin is close to welcoming her little wildlife warrior with husband Chandler Powell and her 17-year-old brother Robert Irwin has some opinions about his sister's ever-expanding figure saying she's massive

Page 45: Duchess Kate and Prince William hold video calls with folks shielding at home during the pandemic to discuss the positive impact of the COVID-19 vaccine (picture), Chrissy Teigen goes shopping with daughter Luna (picture), Mary-Kate Olsen finalized her divorce from French banker Olivier Sarkozy and she was spotted in NYC having dinner with businessman John Cooper, Gordon Ramsay is steamed after being diagnosed with arthritis, Jessie J has a new boyfriend with dancer and choreographer Max Pham Nguyen, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin dropped a bombshell -- they've welcomed their sixth child via surrogate

Page 46: We all get a bit snippy at times, but if you tend to fly into a rage, it's not good for your health or friendships -- here are some simple anger-management techniques you can do any time

Page 47: Curious Earthlings have always been hungry for movies about the moon and its mysteries -- Cat-Women of the Moon, A Trip to the Moon, The Right Stuff, First Man, Gravity, Apollo 13, Hidden Figures

5 notes · View notes

theeagerone · 4 years

Text

Hope you're all having a special day honoring your Dads. And if you aren't, I hope you do something to bring you happiness. I serendipitously met an amazing new friend who offered me a 2 hour meditation course today, and it was the gift to myself I know my Dad would want me to do. My heart goes to out to those who never had a Dad, lost him young, or whose Dads abandoned them. I'm sorry and I am holding space for you today.

I lost mine 10 years ago to lung cancer that had spread to his bone & liver. He lit up a room with his smile and could make anyone feel special. He loved to drum on the dashboard with his giant college ring and he lived for Motown music and to be with his friends. He's the only man I know of who could be traveling and run into someone who had met him _____ years ago at ______. It happened when he visited us in Atlanta, on business trips, once on a hunting trip in Canada, and once at his favorite restaurant...a woman who painted my parents in 1988 (for a wedding gift) remembered him 20 years later!

I never saw him get sick once in my life. He

was still playing golf, fishing, working out, and living his life to the fullest without even knowing he had cancer. The last time I saw him before his diagnosis, I knew something was off. His skin tone was no longer tan and rosy, he was yellow. He was sleeping after work a lot. He said he "just felt tired, probably gettin old". The hardest thing about caring for him through treatments was not just seeing the sickness take over his body and the chemo knock him down, it was how his heart and confidence shattered. He went from the most handsome silver fox to a bald and frail man of 115 pounds who could barely walk across the room. It broke my heart when he looked in the mirror and started crying. But I stayed strong for him and helped him eat, get out of the car, and watch over him when he tired from a long day of visitors. I was strong until the end and I knew I had to be to help him let go. He was in so much pain and really put his body through a lot just to hang on a little longer for my brother and I.

The minute he died in his room surrounded by family, I felt this intense silence. It was almost peaceful. I touched his head and kneeled down to kiss him, then laid down to hug him with my brother. After a few minutes it finally hit me that I would never hug him again. That he wouldn't walk me down the aisle. That he wouldn't teach any grandkids how to fish. That he would never call me again. I had been really strong up to that point and not allowed any thoughts like that to creep in. It was like a storm over my soul, and I lost it. I was crying harder than I ever have, shaking and screaming out in despair. I feel bad in knowing that his hearing was still working and his brain still had electrical activity, I remember thinking "get it together". But at least he knew how much we loved him. How strong his absence would be. When the hearse came to get him at 2am, I remember peacefully feeling out of my body, like I was floating and seeing myself go through this. The movie of my life. I didn't let anyone put a sheet over him until he was in the car. For some reason the driver had death metal on and I took him aside and said "please put the music on something softer... preferably oldies... just for the next hour".

I feel immensely grateful I had him for almost 22 years. I feel grateful for how much he loved me, took me on stroller walks every day after work, how hard he worked for us to live a comfortable, privileged life. I feel grateful for all the Christmases, the summers, the 4th of Julys, and the events he showed up for. Football and soccer games, horse shows, HS graduations. I feel grateful he let me debate with him and tried to listen when I was hurt or upset or questioning his thinking. I feel grateful he always apologized within the night. I feel grateful for the moment he asked me to walk up to his Dad's casket with him. I was probably 16. He leaned on me to cry. He must've felt vulnerable and safer with me than I realized at the time. I am so grateful he accepted me into his home to stand by his side as he battled cancer. I am blessed for the many gifts he gave me and that I was his only daughter.

It took me a year to stop bursting into tears almost every day. It felt so random - when I saw girls with their dads, when I heard his favorite music (the Temptations, Sam Cooke, the Four Tops), when I saw a well-dressed man in a pink button up shirt, a silver haired man, or a frail man. It took me 3 years to stop running from my pain and feel calm enough to focus on something for longer than 20 min. It took me 7 years to live life without feeling afraid I would disappoint him or that he was "watching". It took me 9 years to ask for help with a therapist and feel truly free again. I am just now learning how to call in his energy to assist or guide me. Losing his sister to a car accident 5 years after his death made me more aware of how blessed we were to be able to say goodbye and hold him as he died.

All of you will go through this, and it's my prayer today that you will live more presently, be a bit more gracious for the moments you have with your parents, communicate with them so they are more aware of what you need, learn also what they need, prepare yourself to care for them in the same ways they cared for you as a baby, and be at peace when you say goodbye. Many who don't have fathers may have a special man in their life that teach them the things a Dad would. They may only have a special teacher or uncle or neighbor or fam friend who helped them feel that tenderness. Reach out to those men, especially the childless ones. They are glad to give their energy and they need to feel appreciated today too. I wish you all love, gentleness, & peace.

#fathersday #happyfathersday #fathers #dad #writing #cancersucks #losingaparent #femalewriters

9 notes · View notes

die-t-hin · 5 years

Text

⚘79 tips💌

1. Always eat breakfast. Studies prove that those who eat breakfast tend to make better food choices later in the day. You don't want to skip off a breakfast of 100 calories for a 500 calorie slice of cake at desert. Besides, breakfast gets your metabolism revved up for the day ahead.

2. If you drink a lot of water on an empty stomach it just makes you gassy. Never fun. Small sips throughout the day is better. You'll also have to pee a lot.

3. If you have things you shouldn't (think diet pills, tape measures, thinspo, bag of spat out food, etc.) make sure you hide it. Leaving it below the bed or in your undies drawer is a surefire way to get those things found.

4. Overuse of laxitives and/or diuretics are bad for your body. Over time, abuse of laxitives and diuretics cause incontinence, and embarassment for you. And if you overuse laxitives, when you stop, your body won;t be able to have a proper bowel movement. Use them only on an as-needed basis, as defined by 'normal' people. As in, only when constipated.

5. If you sleep less than 6 hours a day, your metabolism goes down between 10-20% depending on the person. And your body produces more of the hormone that makes you feel hungry. So even though you can burn more calories by staying up all night on the exercise bike, opt for the sleep instead if you don't want to overindulge the next day.

6. Don't deprive yourself of anything. That just leads to bingeing. If you want chocolate cake, have it, even if it's on your list of 'bad foods'. BUT, only have a few small bites. That way, you can enjoy what you want without ruining your diet.

7. Smaller meals throughout the day help keep your metabolism up, burning more calories.

8. Your body burns about 8 calories per glass of ice water trying to get it up to a temperature in which it can be processed. That's 64 calories a day, translating to about 6 or 7 more pounds burned off in a year. Make ice your new best friend.

9. Fiber keeps you fuller longer, and helps keep your digestive system in good shape, thus reducing the need for all those laxitives.

10. Smaller dishes make it seem like you eat more. You often times eat by eyesight, not by stomach fullness. Studies have shown that in 2 groups, with the same amount of food, but one group using large plates and the other small plates, the group with the small plates reported feeling fuller.

11.Horizontal stripes and light denims make you look larger. Avoid them like the plague (Or maybe not)

12. Purging too hard can rupture your esophagus. You might die alone and in pain hunched over your toilet. Just saying.

13. If you're having a food craving, and smoke, light up and the craving goes away. However, in a short time, that craving will return with a vengeance.

14. If you have a large binge, then your stomach expands massively, and the pressure kills off blood cells. Over time, this leads to a severely damaged stomach that may rupture. Once again, just like a ruptured esophagus, this could lead to you dying in pain.

15. The negative calorie foods actually only burn about 10% of whatever they put into you. A stick of celery at about 2 cal will only burn off 0.2 cal.

16. Purging doesn't get rid of all of the calories. You still have about 1/3 or 2/3 of those calories left in you, depending on how soon after you eat you decide to purge.

17. If you wait more than an hour to purge, then there's no point in doing it. Even if food comes back up, your body will have already absorbed all those calories.

18. Your body doesn't register the calories from liquid the same way as it does calories from food. Your stomach won't send the same 'stop eating' signals to your brain like with food.

19. A good substitute for soda is ICE Sparkling Water. It has pretty good flavor, small amounts of B Vitamins, and green tea extract, all for 0 calories.

20. Prolonged fasting/starvation messes up your metabolism.

21. Take a multivitamin every day. Yes, even if it has 5 calories.

22. If your body hits a plateu, a 'binge' helps. It makes your body think that you've stopped starving yourself. In fact, make it a goal that you have a day a week in which you eat at least 1000 calories if you want your metabolism to work properly (meaning it actually keeps burning calories and digesting food).

23. Blotting greasy foods like bacon and pizza with a napkin can save you about 100 calories.

24. Whole-grains have fiber and make you fuller longer.

25. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

26. Alcohol is calorie dense. Say goodbye to going out drinking with friends unless you plan to be the designated driver.

27. If you chew and spit it out, you're doing just as much damage to your teeth as vomiting, maybe even more, because saliva has acid like that in your stomach, that starts digestion.

28. Over time, purging depletes tooth enamel. Yes, dentists can recognize it.

29. If you cook pasta, don't use butter. But you get sticky pasta.

30. When your periods stop, osteoporosis sets in. You could be a 12 year old girl with the bones of an 80 year old woman. Sometimes, your bones never regain the proper density. You'll become prone to stress fractures and breaking bones. Calcium supplements are gold right here. Buy the ones for elderly people with osteoporosis if you can.

31. Brushing your teeth right after purging causes the enamel to wear off, making your teeth decay faster. Chewing gum or mints releases saliva, doing the same.

32. Drinking a lot of water can make it seem that you weigh more, which can help when visiting the doctor. If a lot of liquid is consumed in a short period of time, you might cause yourself brain damage, swelling of the brain, water logging of the brain.... So be careful about waterlogging.

33. Dehydration speeds up tooth decay, because you won't have enough protective enzymes in your mouth to prevent the saliva from doing damage to your teeth. Don't restrict liquids.

34. Make yourself lunch. A nice big sandwich with a juice and pack of chips. Then when you get to school, give it away to someone who forgot theirs.

35. If you hide food that you were supposed to have eaten, make sure you do something about it ASAP. Same with the bag of puke in the closet.

36. Be prepared for all the questions of 'have you lost weight' and 'are you eating'.

37. You can only make the excuse of food poisoning a few times before it becomes fishy.

38. Laxitives don't affect calorie consumption.

39. The more that you insist that you're fat, the more likey people are going to become suspicious.

40. Don't use thinspo with people showing bones. It raises eyebrows.

41. Denying things just makes people get more suspicious.

42. Running to the bathroom right after you eat makes people assume that you're going to go purge.

43. Hot water fills you up more, but cold water burns more calories.

44. When you go into ketosis, your breath is going to smell like hell. Mints are your buddies.

45. Your body often mistakes thirst for hunger.

46. Track progress by measuring tapes, not scales or mirrors. Your eyes will show you a hippo, even if you're a skeleton with a skin covering, and scales get affected by everything, and I mean everything.

47. If you take too many diet pills, or even just one on an empty stomach, it gives you some pretty nasty side effects. Make sure you take one with something food. Like a few bites of an apple.

48. The artificial sweeteners like those in diet soda have been shown in studies to promote the body storing belly fat. And some have been linked to brain tumors.

49. Eating on a dark blue or black plate has the effect of making you eat less.

50. If you want to prevent a binge, just buy the food that you need for the day if you live by yourself.

51. Frozen foods take longer to eat, so you feel occupied longer, and you might feel fuller. Oh, and your body has to burn calories to get it to a temperature that it can be digested, so win all around!

52. If you get bad headaches, it's probably because you're dehydrated or your blood sugar is too low.

53. If you don't eat enough, your blood sugar drops, and then you start feeling weak and dizzy and get horrible headaches.

54. Don't take aspirin on an empty stomach. It'll make you puke.

55. Be careful about sitting with your legs crossed, they might fall asleep and cause you pain, and if you're thin enough, you might pinch something, leaving you in pain or unable to walk.

56. If you don't drink enough, you'll get dehydrated, and then your muscles will hurt like a bitch. And no, painkillers probably won't do anything for this.

57. It takes about 20 minutes for your body to feel full from the time that you first put a bite of food into your mouth.

58. Some sugar free gums have 3 calories, and some have 5. Even though you aren't swallowing it, you should count these.

59. Get really good at math. That way, you can easily mentally add up whatever you've eaten for the day, without having to write it down. People get suspicious if they come across a food diary.

60. Dress warmly enough to keep warm without making it obvious. People get suspicious if you're wearing a coat in 90 degree weather, or complaining about being cold while they're ok or even too hot.

61. Spicy foods and seaweed boost the metabolism. Seaweed soup (35cal) with 1 tbsp soy sauce(10cal) and hotsauce (5cal) makes a great dinner.

62. Eating cabbage to lose weight is good, but smelly.

63. Eating in front of the TV or computer distracts you from feeling full.

64. Eat while standing burns more calories than eating while sitting.

65. Talk a lot and eat very little at lunch or dinner and people won't notice.

66. Keep food spread out and close to the plate and people will think it's more.

67. Your skin will turn gray or yellow if you don't eat right. Tanning might help counteract this.

68. Your hair will get super dry and maybe even turn gray in places. Have extra strength conditioner and hair dye on call.

69. Your nailbeds are going to get blue from lack of nutrients. Find a pretty color nailpolish that you like.

70. Every 20 minutes or so when sitting, get up and take a short walk if you can.

71. Delete your browsing history. It's hard to explain away your sudden weight loss when there's all the pro ana tricks in your computer.

72. Weight lost slowly will stay off, whereas weight that is lost rapidly will come back, with more, when you start eating even somewhat normal.

73. If you lose weight too fast, you also lose muscle. When that happens, you burn off calories more slowly.

74. People with more muscle burn off more calories doing the same activities as people with less muscle.

75. If you burn off too much muscle, then your body burns calories more slowly.

76. Only eat when people are going to notice. And then, only have something small.

77. Excuses will be your new best friend. Use them like a cheap whore.

78. Lack of nutrients make you depressed.

79. Fasting for days on end makes your metabolism go down and increases cravings.

#ana #anamia #anorexya #pro ana #anorexic #anamiia #mia #pro mia #thinspo #thin #skinny #meanspi #nicespo #meanspo #skinnny

74 notes · View notes

isolationaroundus · 2 years

Note

My boyfriend of 3-4 years is almost always on his phone/computer (mostly phone) except when he is sleeping. We have been really lovey dovey at first but then I discovered he becomes very rude and abusive... very much more when he drinks alcohol. Yet he still after sleep he will kiss me and hug me like everythings normal. Should I dump him? I suspect I might have stockholm cuz I also come from an abusive environment like him and think I will never be loved again if i leave this guy.. i have slef harm cuts on my arms and my leg.. and i think to myself no boy will love me again only just for sex like they all did...

Im 21 and I could ve had a drivers license and a diploma but wasted three-four years on this guy :( who says we will get a job after new years eve. which is true but idk if i ahould stay any longer :( and if i dump him i will have to take a plane back to my country at my parents which are crying after me at this point. Im really sad wtf... :(

Reading this i didn't find any signs of love in this relationship.. You even moved outside of your country for that guy and he doesn't pay attention to you or respects you? Damn.. Oof.. I have a very very BAD experience with love myself but wow this sounds like an incredibly uncomfortable situation to be in...

I mean.. Do you really love him? Having those thoughts and i suppose you have them for a long time now is an indication that maybe there's not much love left.. Sadly people can fall out of love as fast as they fall in love.. He may still love you but it is not the kind of love that you want and that is totally okay and nothing wrong with wanting something more or something standard to begin with. Did you ever try to explain to him what hurts you? Maybe all could end with a very good conversation and you both figure it out!

You are only 21 years old! Never say things like "no boy will love me again" because it is a lie. Personally, even if i am DEEPLY hurt by love and i try to avoid it (specifically outside the family love aka meeting someone and falling in love with them) i still believe in it. True love exists and it has been proven that sometimes (well, most of the times actually) it is not the first love relationship (or a serious one of many years) of your life. You may believe that this is your person and you're made for each other but i am sure there are so many people out there you can match with.

Try to understand yourself and what you want.. Speak with your significant other if you truly want to save this relationship! Do not let it exist while there is mostly pain in it.

Well.. I am really REALLY not good talking about things like this.. So don't take anything i say too seriously.. I appreciate you opening up to me like that. Of course feel free to message me off anon if you ever wish to talk about it in a more personal level. I will never judge =)

Sending you virtual hugs my dear anon and I hope you figure things out!

#anonymous #also wow #you moved in another country for that person...#that is a rare kind of dedication not many people are willing to do..

0 notes