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littlejuicebox · 4 months

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My Sun, My Moon

Pairing: Spawn Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav Summary/Setting: 6 months post BG3 / Part 2 to my other fic Astarion talks in his sleep. Rating/Warnings: PG-13 / In game spoilers / Alludes to sexual encounters / Mentions of past trauma etc / Pretty much all fluff / It’s so sweet it’s going to rot your teeth Word Count: 2.3K Notes: This is 5/5 Days of "Star-mas!"

*takes a bow* Happy Holidays! Hope you all enjoyed!

I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "twinkling lights."

Click here to see my master list.

-----

After Astarion’s sleep-talking gave away his little secret, you’d spent nearly every waking moment anticipating the rogue’s proposal. You were horribly, terribly wrong every time, of course. You began to think that perhaps your original assumptions were right, and that an engagement would come much later on. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready. Maybe he was just planning and thinking about the future… the frustratingly distant future. He’d ask the question when he was ready, you reasoned; in his own time and on his own terms. You could respect that.

But then, on the eve of the Netherbrain Battle’s six month anniversary, you came home to a dinner that Astarion had cooked (almost) entirely himself. Candles were lit, table settings were placed, and your lover chose an expensive wine pairing for the meal. His steak was, of course, entirely raw while yours was seasoned and cooked to perfection. You were certain you had Shadowheart to thank for your half of the meal, but you’d complimented your lover and all his efforts, nonetheless. At the end of dinner, you were quite confident that this would be the moment you’d been waiting weeks for.

“I have something to say.” Astarion murmured, lithe fingers rubbing circles on the back of your hand as he clasped it in his own.

You practically felt your soul leave your body in that moment. Oh gods, you knew what your answer would be, you knew this was coming, and yet here it was, and you were still wholly unprepared. You barely fumbled out a, “Y-yes, my love? What is it?”

“I read your mail.” Astarion responded, his eyes flooding full of guilt at the confession. He expelled a small sigh, flicking his gaze up at the ceiling and then back down to you. “Darling, I know we have been discussing this for months, but I really don’t think we should go to the Underdark. You’re getting so many outstanding offers that require you to remain in the city. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate, for god’s sakes. I know you want me to be safe from the sun… but I can’t, in good conscience, do that to you and rip you away from so many wonderful opportunities.”

“O-oh…” Your chest deflates and you catch yourself frowning for just a moment. Astarion’s brow furrows as he incorrectly interprets the cause of your sudden mood shift to be the current conversation and not the crushing disappointment you were trying to shove aside. You quickly try to move into a more neutral expression, but the rogue is already jumping into another worried explanation.

“Darling... Please hear me. I love you more than anything, and I know you better than anyone. You will not be truly happy there, of that much I am absolutely certain. These offers you’re receiving will give you multiple avenues to build the life you want…. the life we want. Imagine the good you could do with that level of influence, my love! Let me help you; I can review contracts, negotiate deals… whatever you need to ensure your success. Do not throw away so much potential on my account. I simply couldn’t live with myself if you did.”

He was right, of course. The only thing you wanted almost as much as you wanted Astarion was to continue the good work you two had been doing for Baldur’s Gate.

You sigh and nod your head, squeezing his hand gently. “You’re right, my love. I suppose it would be silly for both of us to throw away so much opportunity.”

Astarion beamed at your response before leaning over the table to plant a kiss on your lips. You smiled at the rogue when he pulled away to look at you with adoring crimson eyes. Perhaps it hadn’t been the conversation you were hoping for, but it had been a good and much needed one, nonetheless.

-----

Tonight, you and Astarion decided to take a stroll around the city. You were following the vampire’s lead, ambling around the streets as he pointed out more than a few of his old haunts. He revealed some of the difficult moments in his past as you two meandered about… more than one of the tales nearly made you cry with an overwhelm of sympathy for your lover. But you held back, knowing the elf hated eyes full of pity almost as much as he’d hated Cazador.

You noted that Astarion seemed to look back on his experience with more acceptance now. You knew, of course, that there were likely an infinite number of stories he had not yet revealed to you and perhaps never would. But you were still happy to see a bit of lightness in him as he spoke his truth. He hadn’t appeared to have one of his episodes on the entire walk, and as you pondered this, you also realized his night terrors had only occurred a handful of times this month. Such an improvement to what had been an almost daily incidence when you two originally moved in together.

Before long, you and your love arrived at the docks, where just over six months ago you’d felt as if you’d been stabbed in the gut as you watched the rays of sunlight scorch the vampire until he was forced to run for cover. But now, you two stood there hand in hand, resting in a pocket of comfortable silence. Both of you were admiring the twinkling starlight, full moon, and dark, mysterious expanse of the sea.

“The stars were so much more beautiful in the wilds… don’t you think, my sweet?” Astarion asks, his eyes filled with wistfulness as he ponders the sky.

You utter a little hum of agreement as your mind flashes to the first night in camp, when you caught Astarion reclined on his bedroll, stargazing. You turned your head to look at the rogue and remind him of the memory, but found he disappeared from your line of sight. Your vision wanders down and there he is, bent on one knee.

Oh this had to be the moment. Just when you were about to shout yes before the rogue even had a moment to say anything, Astarion looks up and smiles, a small pouch of gold coins in his hand. “Look! I suppose it’s our lucky day, darling. Their loss is our gain, would— are you alright, Tav? You’ve got this strange look on your face.”

Gods, not again. You feel your face flush with embarrassment. In your excitement and overwhelm, you’d almost ruined everything and let Astarion know that you knew his little secret. You made the decision then and there that this would be the last time you anticipated his proposal; let it happen when it’s meant to happen. You were done playing the guessing game. You couldn’t ruin everything with your big fat mouth.

You nod your head slightly before turning to look back at the stars once more, taking a deep breath and hoping to settle yourself.

“Yes, my love. I suppose I’m just thrilled by the beauty of the stars and the full moon, tonight. And by your beauty, of course.”

The rogue stands up, tucking the small sachet in his pocket. He smiles and places a soft, loving peck on the apple of your cheek before wrapping his arm around your waist. The two of you look up at the stars once more, and you spend a few moments pointing out some constellations in the sky. Stargazing had been one of the first things you two bonded over in camp.

Astarion is watching you with devoted interest as you ramble on about the planets and the mythological creatures represented by the patterns in the stars. Finally, there is a small lapse in conversation, and you want to take the opportunity to kiss him, but when you turn, the vampire is once again out of your sight line.

When you look down this time, Astarion is looking up at you, holding a velvet box in shaking hands.

“Tav—" He manages to choke out, but then his eyes fill with tears, and he stops to blink them away, chuckling softly at himself. You immediately come to kneel in front of your love, hands pressed to either side of his face, silently urging him to continue.

The vampire inhales shakily, suddenly quite overwhelmed by the extreme vulnerability he knows he’s about to lay before you. But the softness of your hands on his face grounds him in the moment and he smiles, admiring the look of utter adoration in your eyes.

A couple of tears fall over the edge of his lash line, and you immediately swipe them away with your shaking thumb. Another chuckle escapes the silver-haired elf, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“My love… I’ve rehearsed this for weeks. I’ve said it all out loud more than a thousand times, I’m sure. I’ve spent almost every opportunity in your absence practicing this. One time I even had Shadowheart pretend to be you while I rehearsed my grand speech. But now that we are here… I’ve nearly forgotten everything I wanted to say.”

You move forward to press a kiss to Astarion’s lips, your hands still shaking as you run your thumb over his cheekbone. “It’s okay, my Star. Please continue, when you’re ready… rehearsed or from the heart… I want to hear it all the same.”

Astarion nods just a fraction and inhales. The shaking hand that is not holding the ring box comes to lay atop your own hand resting on his face. Your love slowly, absently runs his thumb along the back of your palm as he gathers his thoughts. He stares into your eyes with so much love that you almost kiss him again but hold yourself back to allow him to continue.

Astarion exhales a shuddering breath and then continues in a reverent tone, as if he’s whispering a prayer, “My darling. I have lived long life. Much of it was a sad and hopeless one. When we were walking through the city, I pointed out several places where I’d encountered horrible things. Many of those things are still hard to talk about… some of it, I don’t know that I will ever be able to.”

You are crying now, from the overwhelming blend of sympathy for your little Star and palpable feeling of love in this beautiful moment. Tears begin coursing thin streams down your cheeks. Astarion wipes away the tears as they fall, though his lips start trembling from your display of emotion.

“B-but what I do know is that… in many of the places I pointed out, there are also memories of us. Of our friends. Of the time we spent together before saving the city and of the six months we’ve spent here after that. Little by little, we are taking places that only held horrible memories for me and turning them into places that hold feelings of hope and happiness.

I guess what I’m saying is that… these past six months have been the counterweight to two hundred years of misery. And I do not think I deserve you, but I cannot imagine my life without you. You are everywhere I go, everywhere I look, and every happy memory I hold in my heart. If you’ll have me… I would like to spend the rest of our lives, however long they may be, turning this city into a place of hope for us and for the people we hold dear.”

Astarion opens the box, and you gasp in true awe as he reveals possibly the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. At the center is a beautiful moonstone, emitting an ethereal glow that shines brilliantly in the darkness of the pier. The setting is gold, and an intricate sunburst pattern made in smaller gems surrounds the center stone.

“Standing on the dock that day, after that long battle… I had the thought that my life was ruined when I realized I could no longer stand in the sun. I thought I might never know true happiness again. But it turns out, that was the moment my new life with you began… and you’ve opened the door to more happiness than I could’ve ever imagined for myself.

Even if I never see the sun again, I have made my peace. I would make the choices I made to be here with you, on this dock, in this moment, again and again in every lifetime. You are my sun and my moon. And my darling, it would be my honor to be your Star for the rest of time. Tav… will you marry me?”

As soon as the question comes out of your lover’s lips, you instantly push forward to crash into Astarion, enveloping the elf in an emotional kiss. You both topple over from the sheer force of your ardor, and as you do, the vampire deftly snaps the ring box closed to protect it from spilling out onto the dock.

When you finally break away, panting heavily, both your faces are thoroughly flushed with excitement. The vampire looks up at you, scarlet eyes filled with absolute devotion. You giggle and press one more soft kiss to the rouge before taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to his knuckle. “Yes, Astarion. Nothing in this life would make me happier than to share it with you.”

-----

Later that evening, the two of you are naked in bed after several rounds of vigorous celebration. You’re admiring your ring, which is still faintly glowing in the semi-darkness of your bedchambers. Astarion takes your hand and presses his lips to the ring with a small smile; his scarlet eyes closely examine the gem.

“I don’t know how it works… you would have to ask Gale. But the center stone glows when I think of you, you know.”

You blink, moving to touch the gemstone in the middle of the ring with curiosity. “But it hasn’t stopped glowing since we’ve been on the docks.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we’ve been on the docks.” Astarion replies simply, moving his hand to stroke your cheek as a gentle, good-natured laugh escapes his mouth, “Perhaps now you’ll have some insight into how often my thoughts revolve around you, my sweet.”

You feel your eyes welling with tears again. Damn this man and his beautiful heart… he truly never misses a detail when it comes to you. You move forward to pull his lips into another loving kiss, and when you break away this time, a thought crosses your mind.

“Astarion… did you really find that bag of coins on the dock?”

Your lover grins mischievously, his crimson eyes crinkling at the corners as he grabs your ring-clad hand and kisses it once more.

“No, my sweet. But I had to throw you off. Shadowheart told me about my mishap. I wanted to surprise you… but you know me far too well and you’ve never been easily fooled… and the sleepy confession didn’t help things at all. I just figured that you would never anticipate that I’d drop down on one knee twice in a row.”

Astarion knew you just as well as you knew him… and he had been right. He’d fooled you. You roll your eyes and chuckle as the rogue moves closer to you, nuzzling into the side of your neck where fresh fang marks throbbed.

“Now what do you say, darling? One more round of celebration before we go to bed?”

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loquaciousferret · 1 year

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Partners

Summary: After a difficult 6-month partnership with Agent Peña, the tension unravels itself in an unexpected way.

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Content Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, degradation, sexism, physical violence, rough unprotected sex, powerplay/ light dom/sub dynamics, male-receiving oral sex - rough. sir!kink, semi-public sex (private but in an office/public place), maybe more PLEASE read at own risk.

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: You guys ATE up my mean!Javi last time and made it my most popular fic so far! (nearly 900 notes is absolutely crazy and also over 100 followers thank you so much). He is so much worse in this LOL

@silkiers @tightjeansjavi

“You don’t outrank me!” You yelled at Agent Peña, and the way his eyes darkened when you pointed this out honestly terrified you.

“Maybe not.” He says through gritted teeth. “But this is my fight.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “It’s everybody’s fight. We are partners, Javier. Equal partners. Stop acting like you are the only person with a stake here!” You respond, exasperated. Since you joined the team in Colombia as Javier Peña’s partner 6 months ago, this must be an argument you have had over a dozen times.

“If you had just obeyed orders they never would have gotten away!” He yelled, closing the distance between you in the already narrow corridor and stabbing a finger towards you accusatorially. “It’s your fault.”

“Get it through your head! There is no “obeying your orders” Javi.” You say through gritted teeth, before your voice raises to a yell, “You are not my superior. Get used to it!” You are enraged by his constant disrespect.

“Well I should be, though.” He seethes.

“What?” You snap.

“How many arrests do you have since you got here?” He challenged.

You scoffed and put a hand on his shoulder to push him out the way and rejoin your team, but he stood firm, not letting you past.

“How many times have I saved your ass in the field? Have you ever done it in return?” He continues.

You exhale with exertion as you continue to try and pass him, but he is steadfast.

“Answer me, hm? You really think you’re my equal in this job?”

“I’m not doing this, Javi. I’m not in competition with you.”

“Right. Because you know yourself that you can’t be.” He sneered.

“Stop it.” You urge him, your frustration growing by the second. “I earned my right to be on this team the same way you did.”

“Oh now that’s funny.” He scoffed, “I know who your father is. You don’t think him being head of internal affairs has anything to do with your appointment here?”

“How dare you.” You say, seething with anger at his insinuation. It's not like it isn't one you've heard behind your back, but it's the first time someone has thrown it in your face. “I didn’t even tell my father I was applying for this transfer. He has nothing to do with it.”

“Ok.” He stares at you with a dark look in his eyes. “Then who did you fuck to get the job, then?” The way the word rolls of his tongue makes it sound more vulgar than you could imagine, and before you can take a moment to stop yourself, Javi gasps in shock as your right hand connects with his cheekbone with an amazing amount of power. You just slapped your partner.

“You fucking bitch.” He spits.

For a second you honestly thought he was approaching you to hit you back, but even more strangely, he is connecting his lips to yours. To your own surprise, you are kissing him back. Roughly, and desperately, and it's as if all of your anger and disdain towards him has transformed into lust with the snap of a finger.

He was ripping at the buttons on your blouse as you fumbled with the straps and buckles on his tactical vest on instinct. Had this been it all along, and you had been totally blind to it? Was all the tension between the pair of you just sexual frustration this whole time, and once it was out your system your partnership could be amicable?

Who knows. But at this point it was worth a shot. It couldn’t make your working relationship any worse, as there was no way further down from where it already was.

He pushed you back against the wall where you hit your head roughly but neither of you acknowledged that.

“You’re gonna forget I’m not your superior when you’re on your knees, calling me sir, and begging me to fuck you.” He hissed into your ear and you froze up under his touch. He noticed, and you felt his lips tug into his signature devilish smirk as he continued to kiss you harshly, dominating with his tongue, controlling the pace of it all.

With your shirt fully unbuttoned he began to make his way down your body, leaving your lips to attach his lips to your neck, collarbones, lower to the curve of cleavage peaking out over your bra. You cursed yourself for wearing a sensible one, not planning on having it on show, but Javi clearly didn’t seem to care, groping you harshly through the fabric cups before slipping a hand inside one and freeing your breast from the top. As your breast sprung out of the fabric, your nipple hardened in the cold air and he flicked his tongue across it, sucking lightly. You gasped and bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning at the sensation. You figured that adrenaline and sexual frustration were adding to why you felt so sensitive under Javi’s touch, or at least that’s what you would tell yourself to explain why he was having such a dramatic effect on you.

As you got his tactical vest unfastened, you pushed it off his shoulders and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

He hissed at you to be quiet and it snapped you back to the reality of the situation. What were you doing? Were you really about to hate-fuck your partner just a few yards away from your entire team and a considerably large section of the Colombian police force and army?

You must have pulled away from him subconsciously as these thoughts ran through your head because the kiss broke and Javier was looking at you, his eyes questioning you. You considered him for a moment, and noticed how his expression had softened from before. Somehow this made you give in to your desires once again and you were reaching out for him, clutching his broad shoulders and pulling him back towards you.

He smiled. This was all the permission he needed to have his way with you now. He had backed off and you had re-initiated.

Javier had known all along that his attraction to you would be a thorn in his side whilst working together. It made him question his own judgment, it made him hesitate. It numbed his instincts in the field.

This was the tension relief he had needed for the whole 6 months you had been here, tormenting him with your mere presence. Your shiny hair. Your delicious scent. The way sweat would bead in the valley between your collarbones, inviting him to lick and suck and taste every inch of you. Now he was finally getting his chance. And you wanted it too.

You, of course, were oblivious to his thoughts and distracted from your own by his lips which were attached to your neck, sucking and nibbling lightly, making you gasp, whilst you worked at the buckle on his belt and then unzipped his jeans. He had a stiff erection that somehow both thrilled and alarmed you due to its size.

At this point he made good on his earlier promise and shoved you roughly to your knees. You gratified his silent command, wrapping your lips around the head of his hard cock. You took him further into your mouth, ever so slowly, retaining eye contact with him as he slid along your tongue and into your throat at a torturous pace for him. When you pulled away just as slowly, slipping him back out your mouth and teasing the underside of his shaft with your tongue as he glided across it, his patience snapped. In a moment he was grabbing both your arms, hauling them up and pressing them against the wall, pushing you back into it until there was not an inch of space between you. You kept watching him, expectantly, and then you opened your mouth widely and let your tongue drop out just slightly. He groaned at the sight and slammed nearly his entire length into your mouth. His pace was aggressive and you felt tears welling in your eyes after just a few of this thrusts as he fucked your throat.

"We're done doing things your way, you understand?" He grunted.

You watch his expressions, unable to respond. A vein bulges in his neck and a few of his curls are beginning to plaster themselves to his forehead with sweat.

"I asked you a question, agent. Do you understand me?" He repeated, partly through gritted teeth as he concentrated on not completely losing himself in the sensation of you letting him fuck your throat so well.

With great difficulty, you nodded your head slightly and hummed a response. The vibration of the movement and the sound had him grunting again, faltering inside you for a moment.

You could feel spit dribbling down your chin, your neck. You knew you must look absolutely wrecked and once again you considered being caught in this compromising position with Javi. Only this time, the thought didn't fill you with anxiety. It sent a pulse straight to your dripping core. The fear was turning you on.

He pulled out with no warning and you felt yourself reaching out to take him in your mouth again almost involuntarily. He removed one of his hands from their grip on your wrists and held your hair, tugging you back away from him and holding your head firmly against the wall.

"What a greedy slut." He taunted, his eyes watching you practically penetratingly.

You whined and he smirked. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me." You say breathlessly.

"Oh I will, pretty girl." His thumb is tracing your lower lip and gathers some saliva still dripping from his rough treatment of your mouth. He spreads it around more down your chin.

"But you'll have to ask me nicely." His tone is menacing.

You shake your head at what he is asking for and he laughs, dropping your hands quickly and pulling back from you, beginning to tuck himself away and reaching for the zip on his jeans.

"No!" You protest. "No, I'm sorry. No, please."

He pauses, waiting for you to give him exactly what he wanted.

"Please, Javi, I want you to-" But this wasn't enough and he resumes his actions, slower this time but still continuing to adjust himself in his jeans and tidy himself up. You whine again in frustration. You are already begging more than you want to. But you understand that he isn't going to indulge you until you submit even further.

"Please, Sir."

He finally stops preparing to leave you there and you can see satisfaction written all over his expression. You had given in to what he wanted and you knew you would never live it down, but your desire overruled this logical thinking part of your brain.

"Please, what?" He says, already with his cock out again, stroking it slowly in front of your face.

"Please, Sir, I want you to fuck me. I want you to use me."

"Yeah, that's right." He growls, gripping your shoulders and dragging you back to your feet.

He rips your pants and underwear down your legs hastily, throwing them aside and lifting you up, wide palms spread under your thighs, strong arms hoisting you up to be in line with his hips.

He plunges his erection inside you with absolutely no preparation. It would have been more painful if you weren't so wet and turned on, ready for him to take from you what he wanted. A strangled sound escapes you, something desperate and shameless, between a moan and a cry.

"Be fucking quiet." He hisses.

He is bouncing you on his cock, your body dragging up and down the cold wall. Your hair is becoming more untamed by the second. He doesn't take his eyes off of you, never checking out and focussing on his own pleasure, rather constantly observing yours. The way you bit your lip and screwed up your face in pleasure and pain was driving him crazy.

"This why you've had such an attitude all along, needed me to put you in your place, huh?" He growls in your ear.

You have never liked this kind of talk. But now, with Javi, it is turning you on more than you have ever imagined.

You nod and he tuts at you.

"What do you say when I ask you something?"

"Y-yes, sir." You gasp.

His pace is punishing and the angle is allowing him to reach the deepest part of you, every single thrust was overwhelmingly powerful in its effect.

You braced yourself with your hands on his shoulders and found the confidence to roll your hips against him in the rhythm of his strokes, finding just the right way to stimulate your clit. Whimpers escaped your lips rapidly and he was no less vocal, grunting and panting into your ear.

You felt your orgasm approaching you quickly and began to clench around him as the knot built inside you.

"Oh, god, that's it." He praised. "That's my girl."

Whether it was his words or the sensation of his lips and moustache tickling your ear, you weren't sure, but suddenly you were coming undone around him. You lost your grip on his shoulders and slumped slightly but he tightened his hold on you and picked up his pace, desperate to earn his release whilst your walls were still clenching around him following your orgasm.

Barely a couple of strokes later and he was releasing inside you, guttural sounds escaping him. He stayed still for a couple of moments afterwards, panting while he caught his breath. Unexpectedly, he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He helps you down slowly onto your feet and laughs quietly when you stumble a little the first time he tries to let go of you. That's what snaps you out of your post-orgasm haze and you shoot him a glare as you hurriedly get dressed again.

With your back to him, you finish buttoning your shirt. "This changes nothing."

"We'll see." He challenges, taking his cigarettes from his jacket pocket and balancing one between his lips. You shake your head, one more icy look sent his way for good measure, and then you return to your department, trying not to think about all the ways in which this event could come back to bite you.

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worksby-d · 1 year

Text

So Close

Pairing: dad’s best friend!Ari Levinson x fem!Reader

Summary: Part two of We'll Get There. Showing Ari exactly what you’ve been up to for the two weeks he was gone.

Warnings: Age gap, inexperienced!reader, sex toys, masturbating, fingering, overstimulation, calling him “daddy,” 18+

Word count: ~1,500

a/n: I'm sorry for the 6-month wait ✋ Enjoy 🫡

⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ ҉˚⋆｡˚ ⋆❀

Hearing his front door open, you jump. You lost track of time waiting for him, but you quickly pull his comforter over yourself and listen intently to his footsteps coming toward the room.

There’s a silence when he walks in, one full of tension waiting to be cut by one of you acting on the anticipation.

Pushing his luggage against the wall, he stands back up, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

“What have you been up to?”

If his gaze finally on you wasn’t making you nervous all of a sudden, you would almost laugh at how normal he’s acting, as if he hasn’t spent the last two weeks sending you the nastiest texts and having hushed, obscene phone calls with you.

“Nothing,” you shrug.

Subtly looking around, he’s beginning to think your acting shy is a facade.

“Really?” He suppresses his smirk. “Just waiting for me to get back?”

“Yup.”

As he steps closer, you catch his eyes drifting toward the familiar toy on the nightstand next to you – clearly recently used.

“So if I…” His voice trails off as he gently pulls the sheets off of you, revealing no clothes on the bottom half of your body.

“Hey–”

Reaching to tug them back, feigning offense, is no use when a giggle escapes your lips.

“Ah-ah,” he stops you, pushing your hands away. “You couldn’t wait for me, babygirl?”

“Wanted to be ready for you,” you try to defend yourself, putting on a pout for good measure.

“Well,” he lets out a breath. You let him sit on the side of the bed and bring a hand between your thighs to part them, exposing your slick-covered skin. “Looks like you’re very ready. What got you so wet, princess?”

“Was watching that video you sent me,” you mumble, too embarrassed to say any more.

He won’t let you leave it at that though.

“Which one?” He smirks. “The one where I… told you exactly how to touch yourself for me? Or the one where I was moaning your name as I–”

He could keep going if you let him.

Flustered though, you try to squeeze your legs back together, but he doesn’t let you.

“Don’t get shy on me now, baby…”

His teasing touch trails along your inner thigh, getting closer and closer to where you’re desperate for his attention.

“The one where you called yourself daddy!” You blurt it out quickly, closing your eyes.

He laughs. “Oh, you liked that?”

“Yes,” you gasp, pushing your hips toward his hand, needing to feel his fingers on your sensitive clit.

He gives in fleetingly, rubbing his middle finger in slow circles. You let out a moan of relief, effectively doing Ari in. For a moment, he finds it impossible to deprive you of what you've been so patient for since he last saw you.

“You gonna show daddy how well you can take your toy after all week?” He cooes, nearly mocking.

He didn't let you use it the first week he was gone, instructing you to get comfortable with your fingers and a few smaller vibrators first. He said you had to work up to it, that it would work if you listened to him.

“Yes!” You yelp when he pulls his finger away and slaps your pussy. “Please, daddy. I'll show you.”

Grabbing it off the table, he hands it to you and stands up just for a second to shed his jacket and jeans.

When he gets back on the bed, he has you move between his legs. Instead of your back against his chest, he turns you slightly so your legs are over his, giving him a view of what you're doing.

The small shift makes you feel a hell of a lot more vulnerable. But you find comfort in locking your eyes with his, catching a brief reassuring look before one of lust takes over again.

“Go on,” he nods, resting a hand on your thigh to keep your legs in place. “I've been waiting to see you like this again since I left…”

A desperate sigh falls from your lips as your head rests against his chest, warding off your embarrassment by closing your eyes and focusing on the heavy toy in your hand.

You let the tip of it glide through your dripping folds, shuddering when it touches your clit.

“The pictures weren't the same, baby,” he continues. “Sure, I got off, but nothing beats the real thing.”

The image of him jerking off to you flashes in your mind, the videos he sent leaving nothing to the imagination – Sweaty strands of hair sticking to his forehead as he tips his head back, a large hand stroking his cock while the other caresses his balls, all while groaning your name.

It prompts you to finally push on the base of the dildo, the fat tip stretching you open.

“Ari,” you whimper, elusively squirming against him, against the evident erection nudging your hip.

He lets out a breath, trying to contain himself. “That’s a good girl.”

He watches as you thrust it deeper, working yourself up to almost taking it all.

“Feel good?”

“Uh-huh,” you sigh, the initial twinge of pain quickly turning pleasurable.

“You're doing so well,” he praises. “Keep going.”

With how deep you feel it, you swear you're taking the whole thing. The pressure has you hurtling toward the edge already.

“So close, babygirl.”

His words have you peeking your eyes open, a quiet frustrated whine coming from you when you see that's not the case.

“Please, daddy,” you beg, grabbing his hand and putting it over yours, a silent plea for him to take over again.

Lucky for you, he’s feeling generous. He wordlessly replaces your hand with his, fucking you rougher than you had the nerve to do.

A loud moan rips from you as he thrusts the toy the rest of the way, finally filling up your needy pussy.

“Fuck,” you choke out, grasping at his forearm.

You think he's showing some mercy when he slows down, the drawn out drags of the fake cock allowing you to feel every bump and ridge of it against your tight walls.

But that doesn't last long until he's picking up the pace again, laying a hand on your lower belly to keep you in place.

“My good girl can take it, can't she?”

Your rapid breaths make it hard to answer with words, so you nod, but that's not good enough for him.

His free hand slips farther down, fingers landing on your swollen clit, making you gasp.

“Can’t she?” He repeats.

“Yes, daddy,” you cry out. “Please.”

It becomes the only word you know, repeating it until the pleasure becomes too much.

Your eyes roll back as your orgasm washes over you, legs trembling and involuntarily trying to close around his hand. He eases his fingers off your clit to slap your thigh, forcing your legs open, earning a high-pitched moan from you.

The toy practically slips out of your spasming cunt, and Ari lets it, prolonging your high by thrusting his fingers into you instead.

“There you go,” he growls, keeping you full with two fingers as his palm grinds against your clit. “Good girl cumming for me.”

“D– Da– Ari,” you shout, voice quivering as an unexpected second orgasm hits you. “It's– Too much.”

He knows it is by the way you stammer your words like that. He slowly stills his hand, easing away from your throbbing clit and pulling his fingers out of you carefully.

A few more whimpers of his name fall from your lips, your body torn between being over sensitive, but yet not wanting his touch to completely leave you.

“I've got ya,” he whispers, rubbing a warm hand against the side of your leg, up to your back as he pulls you closer against him.

A few residual shocks of pleasure, teetering on discomfort now, course through you as you curl up to him, nestling your face into his neck. Your heavy breaths are hot against his skin.

“I know that was a lot,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You okay?”

He can feel you nod against him as you hum. “Mhm.”

As your breathing finally steadies, you shift in his arms to get more comfortable.

Your side rubs against his still-hard cock again and he clears his throat to disguise the sharp breath he takes in, but you catch on anyway.

“Sorry,” you chuckle, scooting away just slightly. “Do I need to…”

“No, no,” he hushes you softly. “Not yet. We'll get there.”

He doesn't see your eyes widen upon hearing the words. Not again.

⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ ҉˚⋆｡˚ ⋆❀

Tag list: @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @thummbelina @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc @princess-evans-addict @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @turtoix @katiew1973 @harrysthiccthighss @bluemusickid @rocketrhap3000 @mrspeacem1nusone @geminievans1 @doozywoozy @americasass91 @dwights-new-plague @wwwmarissa92 @redhairedfeistynerd @whxre4cevans @aubreeskailynn @white-wolf1940 @melchills-j @xoxabs88xox @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @before-we-get-started @chrissquares @christowhore @ice-dtae @mariestark @justile @rogersbarber @dilfbarber @livstilinski @payperhearts @vintagestarlight @chaeycunty @miss-ariella @bemysugarbean @t-stark35 @seitmai @reginaphalange2403 @raelorns21

#i wrote half of this during work fkdhsk we love writing filth on the company dime #ari levinson #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson fanfiction #chris evans smut #ari levinson smut #chris evans x y/n #ari levinson imagine

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hellfirexwhore · 1 year

Text

Forget What You've Heard E.M.

Line cook!Eddie Munson x Bartender!Reader

Sorry it took so long between posts! I've been working all day every day so it's busy over here. I hope you enjoy!

I do not give permission for my work to be copied / posted as original work on any platform.

Your favorite co-worker's flirty nature is your favorite part of the workday, but is it genuine? Someone is feeding you lies just as your patrons are being fed mozzarella sticks and Eddie is determined to convince you he's not just playing games with your heart.

Misunderstanding, hurt/comfort, fluff, cursing, an asshole named Dylan (We all know one), use of Y/N

Wordcount 4.7k

You smile to yourself as you count up the tips you've made so far. Bartending has done wonders for your wallet, and it's totally worth it if you can look over the long hours on your feet, creeps trying to get into your pants, and going home smelling like sour mix and sweat. You just moved to Hawkins 6 months ago and since living on your own is expensive, you serve beers and shake cocktails at the karaoke bar downtown to make a living. It's easy work and you're good at it, but there's just one issue; your favorite co-worker is a huge distraction. Eddie is the cutest damn line cook you've ever seen with his curly hair always tied into a low bun and his smile that you're sure could cure a number of diseases, but those things don't make it easy to do your job efficiently. It's nearly impossible to grab a platter of nachos from the window without him throwing out a wink and calling you sweetheart, telling you you're doing a good job, or even sliding a basket of fries to you with a finger to his lips as a way of saying "Don't tell on me, honey."

Tonight is no different. Eddie has been a total menace all night, flashing you that flirty smile, keeping you from your work with his corny pick-up lines that he insists will get him a date with you one day, making conversation, and giving you extra sides of ranch without making you ring them in first like the kitchen manager does. The second you walked into the back to set your bag down after arriving, he told you your hair looked absolutely ravishing even though it's just thrown into a clip like always, making you blush like crazy. It took nearly 20 minutes to get the scarlet red tint to leave your cheeks, and though you tried your hardest to hide it, Eddie sure as hell noticed, leaving a smile on his face throughout the busy evening.

"Hey sweetheart, I've got those wings for the bar top ready for you." You hear from behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You smile to yourself at the nickname and put the glass you've just finished washing upside down on the drying mat.

You turn around to an always grinning Eddie leaning his elbows on the stainless steel of the mini counter under the window to the back of house and holding the ticket in between his index and middle digits. You take the slip of paper out of his hand slowly, letting your fingers touch for a moment before stabbing it through the small metal spike to your right. Every once in a while, you like to indulge in his flirtatiousness, though it makes you nervous. Eddie's fun, he's nice, and dishing back what he gives to you every day isn't hurting anyone. "Thank you, Eddie."

"Any time, sugar." He replies, winking and turning to grab a new ticket and drop an order of potato skins in the fryer. You shake your head, smiling from ear to ear, turning to serve the hot plate to one of your regulars.

The rest of the shift goes great. Your tips are higher than you had planned, nobody had to be thrown out for fighting, and you got to hear a wonderful rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" sang by a very intoxicated older gentleman during the karaoke session. As you clean up the bar for the night, as always, you can't stop thinking about Eddie. You think tonight might actually be the night you ask him to hang out with you outside of work, though he's invited you to go get some late night pizza before, playfully pouting when you have to decline, telling him that you're exhausted and have to go back to the bar to open the next day. You've wanted to say yes, but Eddie makes you nervous. You're feeling bold tonight though, and you're optimistic.

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie is in the kitchen cleaning the fryers, taking out the trash, and scrubbing the floors absentmindedly, almost like he's in auto-pilot because he can't get you out of his head. He wants so badly to ask you out, but he's tried that and you don't seem interested. He realizes you probably just flirt with him for fun, a harmless workplace friendship with some winks and pet names sprinkled in, but over the past four months, he's developed a serious crush on you.

There's just something about you that makes you so different from everyone he's ever dated or been interested in. He doesn't feel like he has to change who he is for you. There's nothing better for Eddie's ego than how easy it is to make you smile, and goddammit what a beautiful smile it is. Every time you look at him through your lashes, blushing at something stupid he's said, Eddie feels like he could lift the entire building up with one hand and not even break a sweat. He fears he's in too deep at this point, the innocent flirting leading to him finding himself thinking about you even once he's gone home for the night.

"Hey Eddie boy, I think you missed a spot." Eddie rolls his eyes at the irritating voice coming at him from his left. Dylan is one of the most insufferable people he's ever met and of course, he has the honor of working beside him at least 3 nights out of the week.

Eddie doesn't turn his attention to Dylan, just continues wiping down the steel counter top. "Bite me, jackass."

"Wow, someone's sassy today, huh? What, you didn't get enough attention from your little bartender tonight?" He smarmily replies, a disgustingly annoying grin on his face. Dylan, to Eddie's dismay, has picked up on the little "situation" between you two, making a joke of it every chance he can in an attempt to piss him off.

Eddie laughs humorlessly, throwing his rag down and turning to the bane of his existence, crossing his arms over his chest. "Dude shut the fuck up."

"Hey look man, I get it! I'm just saying it's embarrassing watching you stare at her like a fucking creep all day. She does look pretty smokin' in those jeans though, so I don't blame you. Hey maybe I'll ask her out tonight, see if I can get some tail. Think she'll give up the goods?" He's smirking while Eddie's blood is raising in temperature. He can practically feel smoke coming out of his ears hearing this sorry excuse for a man speaking about you like you're just a piece of ass and not the sweet, funny, beautiful person you are.

"I swear to God, I'll bust your teeth in." Eddie seethes, trying to keep his cool, at least while you're in the building. You're blissfully unaware of their hatred for one another and the last thing he needs is for you to see him throwing his fist into Dylan's face for talking about you. That wouldn't be very "innocent flirtationship" of him.

"Guys! Come on, finish cleaning and knock it off. I don't have the energy for your cat fights tonight." The kitchen manager huffs, stepping between the two of them with a severely annoyed look on his face. Wordlessly, Eddie takes one more look at Dylan, picks his rag back up, and continues his task of degreasing all of the surfaces. He wants to get it over with and be able to clock in time to catch you before you leave and walk you to your car.

Dylan, the vindictive man he is, takes the opportunity to make his way through the swinging kitchen door and into the main bar area while Eddie isn't paying attention. You look up, expecting to find Eddie standing there, but confused when it's the guy you barely speak to heading in your direction.

"Hey Y/N, you do good tonight?" He asks, leaning against the bar. You smile politely, still wrist deep in soapy water from washing the bar glasses and beer mugs.

"Yeah, better than I expected actually. Did you need something?" You ask, not rudely, but assuming he came for something specific seeing as he's never made small talk with you before.

Dylan takes a breath and rests his elbows on the hard wood of the bar top, shaking his head like he's trying to think of how to tell you what he sauntered up to you for. You begin to dry your hands, getting a little nervous thinking that maybe the manager had sent him up here to tell you something you've done wrong. You're still relatively new and you've never gotten in trouble here before, but you can't think of anything else he would need to say to you. "Look, I know you and Munson are friends, and I see the way you look at him. You like him, and before you deny it, just listen to me."

Your heart starts to race. Did he tell Eddie? Did Eddie say something to him? How are you going to face him when apparently other people are picking up on this? Are you this obvious? You can't take it anymore so you nod, waiting for more information as you toy with your hands.

"You seem sweet, okay and I don't want to see someone like you hurt by someone like him. Eddie and I are cool, but this is what he does. he flirts with the new ones, takes them home, and never speaks to them again. When another newbie comes in, he starts it all over again. I just thought you should know since I'm sure you're a genuinely nice person and I'm certain Eddie is taking advantage of that." Your heart drops at his words. You feared you were being played with, but you didn't want to believe it. You fell for Eddie's charms, and now it's time to face the harsh reality that you had completely misunderstood this whole situation and made yourself look like an idiot in front of everyone.

"Um, wow. Well thanks for telling me, I appreciate it. I'm gonna finish up here and head out. Have a good rest of your night." You say, rushing through so you don't tear up mid-sentence. Dylan nods, not saying another word but offering a sympathetic smile before turning on his heel and going back through the door he came. You pull the plug to the dish sink, gather your signed receipts to shove into the drawer, and give the glazed wood one last wipe down. You hear Eddie say your name through the window but you act like you can't hear him.

This whole thing could have been avoided if you wouldn't have fallen for the good looks and quirks of the fuzzy-headed, wild-eyed line cook. You never should have caught feelings in the workplace; that's like rule number 001 in the service industry. Never, under any circumstances, canoodle with your co-workers. You thought maybe this was an exception but now here you are, proven wrong.

Heading through the swinging door to the kitchen, you avoid eye contact with everyone, especially Eddie, as you walk straight to the back to gather your things. You feel humiliated and giving Eddie the satisfaction of seeing you upset is out of the question so the sooner you can get out of the building, the better. You give quiet goodbyes to the managers and make a quick escape, or you at least try to before a hand reaches out to hold your forearm.

"Hey, wait for me. I'll walk you to your car." Eddie says softly, giving you a soft smile. You can't bear to look him in the eyes, so you gently pull away, shaking your head.

"It's fine Eddie, thanks though." You reply, turning to finally leave. Eddie watches as you throw your bag strap onto your shoulder and hurriedly make your way to the exit. Hurt washes over him and he's more confused than when he learned what a tampon is in middle school. He furrows his brow and slumps his shoulders, going back to his final task before he can leave for the night. He doubts you're still going to be in the parking lot by the time he can get out there, but his heart is racing like he might have a shot at catching you before you leave.

Did he say something? Did his flirting finally make you uncomfortable tonight? He racks his brain trying to come up with some sort of reason why you would be upset with him. Normally, he would suggest that maybe you're just tired but even when you're on the verge of falling asleep where you stand, you can still manage to give him a sleepy smile and a breathy laugh at another one of his terrible jokes. Maybe he took it too far. Maybe he weirded you out or gave you the wrong idea. It wouldn't be the first time he's scared someone off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You continue to go to work as normal, doing your best to not entertain anything Eddie had to say. The more distance you can create between the two of you, the less likely you'll get hurt. The time for stepping away from him to protect your feelings ended long ago but now it's time to do some damage control before you get worse. You get attached to people, and unfortunately that includes the bad people too.

You thought long and hard about whether or not you actually believed Dylan. I mean it's his first time actually talking to you and he breaks the news to you that Eddie just wanted to get into your pants? Why would he care? After going back and forth with yourself over it for your entire day off, you don't know what to think but what you do know is that if they really are friends and if Dylan actually does care, then the safe bet is to just stay away. If he's telling the truth and you ignore that to continue growing your feelings for Eddie, you're in for a world of hurt and that's just not something you can deal with right now.

You're not mean to Eddie when you work now; you just treat him like everyone else. You say "please" and "thank you", you ring in your extra sauces when you need them, you greet him just like you greet every other cook, and you don't flirt or bat your lashes at him anymore. Eventually, he is going to ask why but until he does, you can't bring yourself to ask him about it. It's humiliating and if he does have bad intentions, he's not going to be honest about it anyway so what's the point in starting that conversation?

Eddie is trying everything. These past few days have been hell for him and he's grasping at straws. He offers to make you fries, you tell him, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." He tries to ask you about your day, you apologize and say you're busy. He tries to catch you before you leave at night, but you practically sprint for the door the second you're finished with your side work.

He watches through the window as you smile at your last patron of the night, desperately wishing that smile was for him. You haven't paid him any mind in 3 days and it's driving him crazy. It might be a little better if he actually knew what he did, but he's completely clueless. The awkward interactions are eating away at Eddie, and he knows if he doesn't say something soon, he'll explode. He starts his cleaning and breaking down the line as quickly as possible in an attempt to finish before you do so you don't run away from him again like you have been. If he doesn't get this straightened out, he doesn't know what he'll do.

Your last tab is cashed out and you begin your cleaning, causing Eddie to pick up his pace. He knows it'll take you 20 minutes max now that you and him aren't chatting throughout to slow you down. As long as nobody gets in his way, he's determined to finally be able to talk to you tonight. Not playful banter, no pick up lines, just a real conversation. The sooner he gets back into your good graces, the better.

"Trouble in paradise?" Eddie turns to see Dylan smirking with his arms across his chest. So much for nobody getting in his way.

Eddie laughs humorlessly and goes back to his work. "Fuck off, dude."

"Look man I'm just saying it seems like there's a little riff between the lovebirds lately. I wonder what happened, hm?" Dylan replies, his tone condescending as ever, doing his best to get a rise out of Eddie. To his dismay, it's working.

"You don't know shit." Eddie mumbles, wringing out a sanitizer rag, his fingers already becoming little prunes extended from his hands from the extensive cleaning.

"I don't know about that one, Ed. We had a really riveting conversation, seriously it was interesting, and I'm sure I know a little more than you think." This stops Eddie in his tracks. He breathes hard through his nose and turns on his heel, grabbing Dylan by his shirt and shoving him against the wall.

"What the fuck did you say to her? Huh? Are you the reason she won't fucking talk to me? What the hell is wrong with you, you jealous son of a bitch?!" Eddie shouts. The manager on duty is already trying to break the two of them up and you hear the commotion from the front, peering your head into the window to see what the hell is going on.

"Ooh Munson is mad! I just told her exactly what you're up to, that's all." Dylan says, calm as ever, a disgusting smile on his face. "Punching me won't undo it, so go ahead."

"Enough! I swear to god, I will kick you both out." Eddie reluctantly loosens his grip on the boy's clothing, only pulling away completely when he's certain the risk of getting fired isn't worth hitting Dylan, even though the want to is overwhelming.

Eddie looks to you, his heart breaking at the disappointed look on your face. He decides this ends now. He has no idea what filth and lies have been planted in your head, but he needs to fix it and fast. He gives one last scowl to the man he was just threatening, and backs up, walking out of the kitchen door.

He approaches the bar and you freeze. You don't know what you're supposed to say or do, so you do and say nothing. He has a soft look on his face, one very different than the one he was wearing in the kitchen just a minute prior. It's almost as if his rock hard persona turns to cotton candy when he's in your presence, and if you ask Eddie, that's exactly how that works.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk to me and I'm still not entirely sure why, but please wait for me. Please talk to me, let me figure out what the hell happened, and let me fix it." He pleads. You think it over quickly, trying to figure out of this is something you even want to get into right now. You question his motives, still confused as ever. Helpless, you nod and see the relief wash over his entire body, giving you the same feeling as when you're in the middle of a horrific thunderstorm, and in an instant, the sun comes out of the dark clouds. Whether this conversation leaves you feeling like a sunny summer day or it leads to another crack of thunder, you're unsure but you have half an hour before you find out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sit there at the bar having finished your closing work, waiting for Eddie to finish his. Against your better judgement, you're happy to talk to him again but nothing can stop the knot in your stomach from growing tighter. All you wanted to do today was make some money, go home, cook dinner, take a bath, and watch a movie in bed but now, you're sitting here, anxiety building up in your body like a tower of mix-matched Lego pieces.

You're taken out of your thoughts when Eddie exits the kitchen and walks toward you, not looking any less nervous than he did earlier in the evening. "Hey, sorry I took so long."

"It's okay." You say quietly, standing up from the bar stool and pulling the strap of your backpack up onto your shoulder. "Do you want to talk outside?"

Eddie nods, giving you a tight smile. He leads you out of the front door and around to the side of the building to the employee parking lot, not saying a word just yet. the silence is broken by the flick of your lighter, illuminating the tip of a cigarette freshly placed in your mouth, inhaling the smoke and feeling the tiniest amount of tension wash away.

You lean against your car waiting for him to speak, still not really sure what you're supposed to say. He's the one that needed to defend himself, he's the one who wanted this conversation to happen.

"Look, I don't know what Dylan told you but I can assure you it was a lie." He starts. He's fidgeting with his fingers, avoiding eye contact. He's lost every ounce of confidence he once had when he's on the other side of the wall passing you a basket of chicken tenders.

"If you don't know what he said, then how would you know that?" You reply, taking another drag of your cigarette. You're hoping he's being genuine and not just defensive right off the bat, but if someone is lying about you, you'd feel defensive too. Everything is still fuzzy and figuring out this mess is like putting the pieces of a clear puzzle together.

"Because he fucking hates me. He does shit just to piss me off." Eddie shakes his head, pulling his own pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one between his lush lips.

"Why would he hate you, Eddie? What did you do?" You don't mean to point blame at him but he had to have done something to make someone hate him to the point of making up a lie to make you ignore him for days.

"When I first started, he thought I was flirting with this girl he had a thing for, and she got a crush on me. She didn't want to hang out with him anymore and he thought I just swooped in and stole her. I didn't even like her like that but since then, he's made it his job to make my life a living hell when he's here. That includes fucking this-" Eddie gestures his hand between the both of you, "-up for me."

"He told me you're fucking with me." You say, suddenly fixing your eyes on your sneakers. You almost shudder thinking back at the way your heart dropped to your stomach when Dylan first spoke to you. "Said you flirt with the new ones to get into their pants and then move on to the next one."

Eddie's eyes widen, looking like he's a child being told Santa isn't real. The genuine look of shock is very convincing, and you're close to dropping every allegation from that expression alone. "Jesus Christ. Y/N, I promise that's not what's going on here."

"How can I know that for sure? I felt like an idiot after he told me that. I was humiliated thinking I fell for some sleazy game you were playing." You're trying not to tear up. You can feel the thickness in your throat as you speak, hoping Eddie doesn't pick up on it. Six months of growing feelings for someone isn't something to fuck around about, and you might have taken this more seriously than it was intended, but when you're in that close of proximity with someone for that long, itching for the other to make a move, it's hard to not be heartbroken when something happens to it.

"Sweetheart, I flirt with you because I like you. At first, it was just fun and I thought you were cute, but now I have a big, fat, stupid crush on you and I think about you all the time. I don't ask you to hang out with me after work so I can take you to my van and get your clothes off. I ask you to hang out with me because I like the way you make me feel." Eddie responds, making eye contact with you finally, searching your eyes for any trace of doubt. He wants you to know how serious he is. This isn't just a fling for him, much like it never was for you. You had a feeling this could turn into something special, though it goes against everything people tell you about workplace relationships.

"And what would that feeling be?" You inquire, not breaking the contact between his chocolate pools and your own, finding a boldness in yourself that you didn't know existed.

"You make me feel like I'm the coolest guy in the world. You laugh at my stupid jokes, you compliment me, you're interested in what I have to say.." He trails off with a fond smile on his face. There's a softness about him that balances out the roughness of his edges, endearing you even further. He reaches out to grab your soft hand with his rough one. "I really fucking like you."

"I really like you too. I was going to ask you out the night Dylan dropped a bomb on me." You admit, rubbing your thumb over the skin of his hand.

"That motherfucker." Eddie shakes his head, getting angry all over again at the fact that he finally had his chance and it got ruined for him in an instant. "I'm going to kick his ass."

You pull your hand out of his and smack him lightly on the chest. "No, you can't get fired! Who will I talk to all day?"

"You've been doing just fine not talking to anyone." Eddie jokes, raising his eyebrows and bringing his cigarette to his lips, inhaling the smoke that seems to make this whole thing easier. After having a sick stomach for hours, he skipped his smoke breaks, partially leading to his angry outburst.

"Yeah and it was miserable! Do you know how much I hated having to go through my shift without hearing you call me sweetheart?" You laugh, a sound Eddie missed, even for just three days.

He smiles down at you, dazzling as always. You missing him as much as he missed you is actively washing away his worries one by one like a salty body of water washing away a structurally questionable sandcastle. "I won't deprive you anymore."

"I appreciate that." You grin, taking his hand back into yours.

"Does that mean you believe me? You can ask anyone, I'm serious. I talk about you all the time. The guys make fun of me for my "heart eyes" the entire time you're here. Ask Adam, Levi, Grant, Brandon-"

"Okay, okay." You cut off his adorable rambling. "Yes, I believe you."

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief. You can see his shoulders relax, his jaw loosen, and his posture seems straighter. "Good because I mean it. I'm sorry this was such a mess for you. Hopefully I can make up for it?"

"And how do you plan to do that, Munson?" You tease, giving him the flirty look he had been wishing to see from you again. He can't take his eyes off of the way you look at him through your thick lashes.

He moves closer to you subtly, moving slowly so he can relish in the moment. "Can I start with that date?"

"You sure can." You say just above a whisper. You're lost in his eyes once again, but this time, it's not just playful. There's a brand new feeling getting introduced here and it blows your mind that it was first kindled in a greasy kitchen.

As long as Eddie is here, things are easy. You have your flirty boy back and being at work is a little easier again. With Eddie right behind you serving up winks and pet names just as often as he serves up appetizers, going home smelling like beer and deep fried cheese is worth it.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson x reader hurt/comfort #eddie x reader #eddie x reader angst #eddie x reader fluff #eddie x reader hurt/comfort #line cook eddie #line cook!eddie x reader #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction

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angelbaby-fics · 11 months

Text

Don't Bite

Word Count: 850

Warnings: Slight injury to the reader! Lots of comfort and fluff though of course!!

A/N: Aww this one's kinda similar to one I did for the tea party event but I've actually had this concept in my notes app for like 6 months! Hopefully posting this finally works & I hope you guys enjoy!! ❤️

It started off as a peaceful morning. Steve was in the kitchen, his turn to clean up after breakfast, and Bucky was starting up a load of laundry down the hall. You were splayed across the couch, watching cartoons and digesting your pancakes when Alpine sauntered over to the sofa and leapt up next to you. The cat took a big yawn before curling up halfway on your chest, purring and nuzzling you as you pet her silky white fur. Lost in the dancing colors on the tv screen, you aimlessly scratched behind her ears, down her back, across the length of her tail.

Too far!

In a flash of white, Alpine whipped her body around to face your offending hand and let off a warning hiss! Your precious pet suddenly transformed into a vicious predator, baring her fangs at you with fire in her eyes. Out of shock, you pulled your hand away, some of the fur still entwined within your fingers, and when you yanked back, Alpine sunk her teeth into your arm out of self defense. It wasn't too hard, just meant to admonish you like she would her own kitten, but her teeth were sharp enough to break your skin, and the sight of blood was enough to make you start screaming.

Naturally, Steve and Bucky were abandoning their respective chores rushing to your side to comfort you in no time. Alpine had fled the scene at the sound of your screams, so it wasn't immediately apparent to them what was wrong; all they saw was their baby, distressed and injured. Hearts racing, they each tried in their own way to figure out what the problem was and solve it. Steve dried your tears, carefully petting your head and whispering words of comfort to you while Bucky protectively wrapped an arm around you, jaw clenched with stress as he scanned the room for what hurt you.

When they were both certain the coast was clear, they moved you to the bathroom, Bucky holding you firmly against his chest. He kept you in his arms as he sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, pulling your legs up onto his lap as Steve rummaged through the cupboard for the family's first aid kit. He emerged with a clear tub, which he set on the bathroom counter and opened and began unpacking. Your arms were wrapped around Bucky's neck, and he felt you grip onto his t-shirt once you saw Steve pull out the bottle of antiseptic.

"Nonononono," you mumbled into Bucky's shoulder, "no more ouchies please!"

He tightened his arms around you, soothingly rubbing your back. Both your daddies' hearts broke at your pleas.

"I know, babydoll. It's just gonna last a second, okay?" Steve tried to reassure you, but your tears were starting up again.

"Shhh.... You're safe baby, it's okay," Bucky whispered into your ear.

He reached up to untangle your injured hand from his shirt. Holding it softly in his right hand, he slowly brought your arm down from his neck and held it out towards Steve, who was looking at you with eyes like warm oceans. You met his gaze and nodded slightly before turning your face back into Bucky's chest, bracing yourself for the sting of the antiseptic. Maybe it was the gentleness that Steve applied the cotton on your skin, or maybe it was the hold Bucky had around you keeping you safe, but it didn't hurt nearly as badly as you thought it would. Next thing you knew, you were emerging from you Bucky cocoon to see Steve presenting you with multiple boxes of bandaids.

"Alright, angel, you get to pick whichever kind you want!"

You looked between the boxes, some with cartoon characters, some with animals or flowers or rainbows or stars. You pointed towards your favorite, and Steve got to unwrapping it, kneeling down to your level to softly and sweetly stick the bandaid to your skin. Then he started clapping.

"All done, baby! You did such a good job!" Steve cheered for you, smile beaming, but your eyes were drawn to something else.

Curious about her family all gathering in one room, Alpine was peering around the doorway of the bathroom. Usually she would bound right in, weaving herself between Bucky's legs or trying to get another treat out of Steve, but now she was unusually reserved. It was as if she knew that all this commotion, all this distress was because of her. Bucky leaned over to see where you were looking, Steve turned around, and instantly they solved the puzzle of what had happened to you.

"Oh baby, did Alpine get you?"

You nodded, and whispered "Piney bite."

With a steely look, Steve walked over to the cat, bending down to look her in the eyes, and he shook a stern finger at her.

"Alpine, we don't bite our friends, do you understand?" He asked her, which made you start giggling; music to your daddies' ears.

"Its okay, Piney, I forgive you!"

And once again, it seemed like she understood, because with a little trill, she was trotting over to you, pressing her face up against you and starting to purr.

#little!reader #stucky x little!reader #chloe's fic

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mandoalorian · 6 months

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tolerate it [javi peña x gn!reader]

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky…”

Warnings: this is not nice, I'm sorry. This is pure, unadulterated angst. Based on the song tolerate it and You’re Losing Me by Miss Swift herself. Word count: 2000approx. Author’s note: one thing about me is I come back every 6 months, drop a one-shot, and then leave again. Was feeling a bit of seasonal depression today. I don’t enjoy fall as much as the rest of the world, it seems, but here is an autumnal fic to get your spirits going. Masterlist Ko-fi

Fall.

Two take-out cups of piping hot Colombian ground coffee warming up your bare hands, because you thought it was too early for gloves, and the trees standing naked and tall with crusty red leaves blanketing the damp ground beneath your chunky boots. Holding the newspaper in the crook of your elbow, you sigh as you feel rain begin to fall from the grey clouds above. You pick up the pace, striding through the swarms of busy people doing their seasonal shopping, just wanting to get back home dry.

Your wishes weren’t commanded and you stumbled through the front door of your townhouse sopping wet, hair stuck to your face and mascara now three inches down your cheeks. You put the coffee cups on the dining room table along with the newspaper and took off your coat. At some point, Javier came in and sat down at the table. His fingers pinched at the corners of the paper. The pages were ripped and wet and the ink was bleeding into an incoherent smudge on the front page. Javier opened the lid of his coffee and took a sip before immediately scrunching up his face and putting it back on the table. You turned to face your partner, only to be met with his lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed together in disdain. You looked at him, helpless and apologetic.

“What’s wrong now?” You huffed, searching for answers in his empty brown eyes. You were tired of asking the question.

“It’s cold,” He muttered, his eyes not leaving yours as he awaited an explanation like he was owed it. His words are blunt and sharp but you have no choice other than to take his indiscretions on your shoulder.

But instead, you offered him nothing short of a scoff as you emptied the pools of water from your boots. The storm outside was loud and persisted with long wails and cries. In silence, you sat next to Javier at the table, and in spite, drank your cold coffee.

After a few moments, you smiled to yourself, wanting to lighten the mood and remembering something that you had seen on television a few days ago. “You know, in California, iced coffee is a thing? Yeah, that’s how they prefer to drink it over there.”

Javier grunted in acknowledgement, leaning back on his chair and folding his arms over his chest.

Your eyes flicked between the oak wood dining table, and the way you had set it so beautifully with your fancy China and centrepiece. The empty vase waiting for a fresh bunch of flowers stood tall and was gleaming after you’d spent a good chunk of your day cleaning and polishing it. A single, pumpkin-scented candle flickered in between you and Javier, your gaze fixated on the dancing ember. Finally, you looked back at Javier, who was taking shallow breaths as he awaited you to pay him attention.

When you fail to do so, it causes a problem. “I have to get to the office,” he announced after a few minutes of silence.

“But it’s a Saturday,” you replied. Ever since Javier got his big promotion, it meant he could do fewer hours and stop working weekends. He hadn’t gone to the office on a Saturday in nearly two years. Javier stood up and put on his leather jacket, the same one he’d kept from the 70s. He still rocked it, of course, but in this climate, it just wasn’t smart. “You’re going to need something warmer than that jacket, you’ll freeze to death.”

You stood up, your chair scraping against the floor, and went to walk to the bedroom, finding a coat for Javier to wear. You picked one out that you knew he hated. It was long and plaid and not his style at all, too ‘modern’, he called it, but it was the only thing that would stop him from catching a cold. You grabbed a pair of gloves and a scarf and walked back out, following him into the hallway. He waited for you and stood leaning against the door frame, looking at the outside world ahead of him.

Sure enough, the storm had cleared up in a matter of minutes and golden rays of sunlight peeked through the now white clouds. Your heart fell, deflated when Javier refused to wear the coat and the scarf you’d picked out for him.

“The gloves, at least,” you begged him, your eyes wide and glazed with unshed tears that you didn’t realise you were holding back. The air was thick with flaws and indecisions. Javier felt a pang of guilt in his heart when he read your expression and took the gloves from you, shoving them in his jacket pocket, a silent promise that he might just put them on later if he remembered.

“Will you be home for dinner?” You asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” you nodded. Javier placed a chaste kiss atop your head. “I love you.” You promised him, but the words were lost on him.

“See you later,” he replied, before pulling away and walking over to his truck.

You’d normally watch him get in and drive away but this time, you shut the door before he even stepped off the patio and sauntered into the living room where you slouched onto the couch, hung your head low and closed your eyes. Darkness. You wondered how long you could keep fighting this. You were so tired of giving your all, only to be met with so little appreciation back. What was once the richest of love had turned cold and empty. You gave him endless empathy and he was killing you.

Javier pulled up outside of Luna Azul, his favourite bar. He hated this. He didn’t like lying to you, but he just needed to get away. He pulled out a cigarette and rested it between his lips, pushing the front door open and immediately taking a seat at the bar. Lighting the cigarette, he took a deep inhale of the nicotine, letting it sting his throat before exhaling. He loved you, he really did. He didn’t remember a point in time when things shifted, he didn’t understand why things had changed so much. You were still his person, his soulmate, he knew he’d never find anyone else like you, but there was just something missing.

“Hey Javi, why the sad face?” Elza, the barmaid asked, already pouring him a whiskey on the rocks, his usual order. “Did someone die?”

Javier feigned a smile before downing his drink. “Rough day.”

“Ah,” Elza said softly. “Trouble in paradise?”

The words made Javier wince. He gestured for another drink, of which Elza promptly poured him. “I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Javi,” Elza frowned. “You deserve better.”

Javi’s frown deepened. He swirled the whiskey as he processed Elza’s words. He really didn’t believe that he deserved better, Hell, he barely believed that he deserved you, and you were more than good enough. You were perfect.

And suddenly, for Javier, it all made sense. He was damaged goods. All those years in the DEA, fighting in a war… that’s what had changed Javier. The years of trauma that he’d never confronted… never got help for. He had hidden his feelings, fought his nightmares and pretended like they didn’t bother him. He’d come this far, he wasn’t scared… he couldn’t be scared, he wasn’t allowed to be scared. He had to be strong, brave, get over it. Javier downed his second whiskey, his skin getting white hot as realization gushed over him. Elza filled his glass up with a third, watching the agent intently.

You weren’t the one who changed, he was, and it took him this long to realise. It was all becoming so clear now, how hard you had been trying and how he hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ in six months. Javier’s stomach was in knots, he didn’t know how or why you’d stayed this long when he had given you nothing in return for your efforts. Impulsively, Javier downed the third whiskey.

Something had to change. He had to change—get better. He knew now that was the only thing that would fix the relationship he’d been taking for granted. He had to go home and apologise. He had to make things right before it was too late. Javier stubbed out the butt of the cigarette and stood up abruptly, only to be met with ruby-red lips crashing down on his hard. Teeth biting down on Javier’s lower lip, Javier let out a small groan. He hadn’t been kissed in so long. But these weren’t your soft, sweet lips. Javier pulled away, eyes widening when he saw Elza standing in front of him with a smirk.

Javier rubbed at his lips in an attempt to wipe away any traces of infidelity. This is not what he wanted or needed right now. He had to get home and fast. Without sparing a single word to Elza, Javier dived out the door and jumped into his pickup truck.

Grey clouds gathered outside as Javier jogged up the driveway, an indication of another storm. You were cooking when Javier arrived home. You were so surprised to hear the front door open as he’d only been gone for half an hour or so. You’d been thinking hard and decided that if tonight wasn’t any different than previous nights then that would be it. You'd be out the door. The thought of it was soul-crushing because you wanted to marry this man. But you couldn’t take it anymore. Fighting with all your strength and might only to be ignored.

“Hermosa,” Javier greeted, exasperated and breathless. If your eyes weren’t immediately drawn to the remnants of red lipstick on his lips, you might have noticed his tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. He’d been crying all the way home, crying for being so stupid and reckless for all these months, for not taking care of himself, but most importantly, not taking care of you.

Your heart plummeted in your chest and you dropped the wooden spoon that was in your hands. It clattered on the floor, the noise making Javier jump, but you stood there, still and unwavering. Silent tears began to stream down your cheeks and you couldn’t strain your gaze away from your boyfriend who was smelling thick of alcohol and had another woman’s lipstick on his face. That was it.

He had dealt his final blow.

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its been years since I've redone my masterlist so im starting again from scratch. if you see this and want to be added, let me know.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #javier peña #javi peña #javier peña x reader #narcos #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

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frankenkyle19 · 7 months

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Grownup Time

Kintober day 6: Kit Walker x reader get up to some fun while the kids are out trick or treating ;)

word count: 1.5k short one! Short and sweet! description/warnings: unprotected sex, quickie, smut, p in v penetration, uh that’s it I think? Very tame compared to some of my other fics

You met Kit Walker at one of the hardest points in his young life. Both the women he loved died, one murdered by the other and the other passing away in an asylum that he knew didn’t treat people right. He had first hand experience there sadly. Something he wasn’t too keen on sharing with others. Not even you.

Now he was a single father, caring for two beautiful kids while also trying to work and support them. It was hard, really hard and everyone wondered when he’d get married again.

He still wasn’t married, but he had a girlfriend. You. You didn’t need a ring on your finger to know how much you two loved each other. He was completely devoted to you and you loved him just as much.

His kids were absolutely precious and loved to spend time with you, instantly clinging to you as a mother figure that they hadn’t had in months.

You moved in with Kit soon after you met, deciding it was the best for all of you, kids included. You’d be able to help around the house and with the kids, giving Kit some much needed rest while also being able to spend more time with him which was a win win.

Now, six whole months later you all had a set schedule as a family. Kit went to work, the kids went off to school and you’d cook dinner. Two days a week Kit would insist that he cook for the family and of course you let him. He looked beautiful in the kitchen leaning over a pot or pulling something out of the oven.

Everything was absolutely perfect. Except for one thing… You two barely had any time alone.

Sure maybe after the kids fell asleep but they were both very light sleepers and got up frequently in the night. The last thing you needed was for one of them to walk in on the two of you getting it on.

You could realistically do it in the shower, but when Kit nearly slipped bending you over you two had called it quits and just finished cleaning up before drying off. It wasn’t for lack of trying. You two tried hard, but it seemed that every single time you made a move on each other the world had to be the biggest cockblock.

Luckily for the two of you lovebirds, it was Halloween and that meant trick or treating which meant kids out of the house.

Kit was a bit nervous to let the kids go off without him, but after some convincing and the knowledge that their friend's mother would be going along with them, he agreed.

It had been hard for him ever since Grace and Alma died. He was so worried for his kids in every aspect of their lives. The kids loved their father, but he was a bit overbearing at times. It all came from a place of love. Kit wouldn’t be able to survive if something happened to them. He’d already faced so much loss.

Kit had gotten off of work early that day to be able to see Thomas and Julia off, making sure that he talked with their friend’s mother and discussed where they’d be going.

He kissed each child on the head, much to their dismay before waving them goodbye, watching as they walked off down the path to go trick or treating. Kit would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit nervous.

You had made a roast for dinner that night, something simple but also something Kit loved. You were just about to finish up in the kitchen when he came up behind you, wrapping you in his large arms and squeezing gently, pressing a few kisses to your exposed neck.

A shiver ran up your spine as you subconsciously leaned back against him, sighing out a soft exhale of contentment.

His body was warm and soft against yours… save for one thing.

“Kit Walker!” You exclaimed, turning around to face him.

“Are you hard?” You teased, looking down to see that he was in fact aroused. Not like he had much of a choice in how he felt. It’d been so long since he’d had you all to himself to even entertain the thought.

“It’s been so long suga’ just give me a bit of lovin’ yeah? The kids are gone, we’ve got the house all to ourselves for at least the next two hours.” He smiled softly, accent thick as he swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to. Of course you did. Who wouldn’t?

You pulled him into a kiss, standing on your tiptoes as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as he deepened the kiss. It was obvious how eager and desperate he was for this.

The two of you stumbled out of the kitchen and into your shared bedroom, clothes coming off on the way there, the two of you tripping as you rushed to get your pants off.

You had no intention of taking things slow, despite having all the time in the world. You were much too worked up for any of that, and by the way Kit was panting, he wasn’t in the mood for slow either.

Kit’s large hands came behind you once your shirt was up and over your head, undoing your bra like he’d done so many times before, letting the straps slide down your arms before your breasts were freed.

Kit brushed the pad of his thumb over one of the hardening nipples, grinning. You shivered, arching into the touch. Just the simplest of touches had you so desperate for more.

Luckily for you, Kit was more than ready to give you anything your heart desired.

Your hand gently brushed over the bulge in his white boxers, causing him to throw his head back with a sigh, subtly bucking into the touch.

“Okay baby- ya gotta stop that or I’ll cum-“ he whined, cock twitching in his boxers as he pulled your hand away, shaking his head with a laugh.

“It’s been too long.” He mumbled as he pulled you into a kiss, practically ripping off your panties along with his underwear before positioning himself between your legs.

You reached down and gave his length a few strokes for good measure before he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed his length in.

It always hurt the first few moments with Kit, no matter how much you’d done it. He was well above average and you always needed time to adjust to his size.

Kit nearly collapsed over you at the feeling of your plush walls squeezing him so tightly, urging him deeper inside.

You gripped his hair in your hands and played with it absentmindedly as the two of you waited to adjust. Kit shook subtly against you, face buried in the crook of your neck.

“Baby- go ahead I’m ready.” You moaned out. He didn’t need to be told twice, already beginning to thrust in and out before you even finished your sentence.

Gripping onto his shoulders, your nails dug into his skin, sure to leave red marks tomorrow that he’d admire in the mirror each time he got changed.

“Fuck baby, yer so tight. Damn-“ he groaned out, peppering kisses along your neck and collarbone, fucking into you at a much harsher pace now.

“Mmm Kit f-Fuck-“ You moaned out, his groin brushing against your clit with each thrust in, causing pleasure to surge through you, a tight dull ache forming in the pit of your stomach.

Kit sensed this change in you almost immediately and it made him weak in the knees. Making you cum was always such an honor for him, and god was he so, so good at it.

“Close-“ You whined out, hips chasing his each time he pulled back to thrust once more.

“Yeah? Gonna cum fer me? Yeh you are. Good girl, my good girl.” He cooed, reaching down to rub circles against your clit.

You were so lost in the pleasure that the air was knocked out of your lungs when you did cum. You arched your back and cried out, biting down on your bottom lip nearly hard enough to draw blood as you writhed underneath Kit

Seeing you like this was more than enough to trigger his own release and soon, a warmth filled you up from deep inside. Kit soon collapsed next to you, holding you close as he slipped out of you, his cum dripping onto the bedsheets that would now definitely need changed.

You both stayed silent for several moments, just panting, enjoying the after effects of your releases.

“We need to do that more often.” Kit breathed out with an exasperated chuckle, brushing your hair out of your face before pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Well we still have a few more hours until the kids get home.” You grinned, rolling over to sit atop him, hands laying flat on his chest as you gave him a suggestive smirk.

“Oh baby-“ he cooed, his accent stronger now in his hazy state of pleasure as he held your hips.

Happy Halloween to the two of you.

#evan peters #evan peters icons #american horror story #ahs fandom #kit walker imagine #kit walker smut #kit walker #kit walker ahs #ahs asylum

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jaeminmp4 · 3 months

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what if we read manga together, then what? (m.lee)

synopsis - you have a love for reading mangas, and you made it your goal to visit your town’s local bookstore to relax after a grueling finals week and to check out the new bungo stray dogs manga that was just put on sale. however, you didn’t think that having a tower display of mangas falling onto you would lead you into having a friendship with the nerdiest (and cutest) boy ever. member - mark lee x fem!reader word count - 3.1k warnings - just some cursing, SOME my hero academia slander but it's not bad i promise!!! genre - college au, fluff, humor, strangers to friends to lovers authors note - wow casually dropping my first written scenario here hehe and it's for your favorite canadian boy, mark lee!! idk i was watching and consuming mark lee content like my life depended on it and it lead to this,, uh monstrosity of a fic, it isn't my best work, but i wanted to put out something before i start procrastinating, hope you somewhat enjoy it at least :D

You definitely weren’t the clumsiest person on the planet, and you knew this for a fact after witnessing your friend Minjeong trip over her own feet and spill the contents of her lunch tray all over the floor. Then when she attempted to get up from the ground, her foot had stepped right onto the apple sauce left on the ground, then she tumbled over again, this time almost hitting her perfect face right onto the tiled floors of the cafeteria. At the time you were too busy laughing at her demise to be of any help. You guessed karma came back to bite you in the ass. Stupid karma.

You had just finished your last exam of the semester and all you wanted to do was rot in your dorm room and sleep until the RA’s kicked you out to go home for break. You, however, didn’t do any rotting or any sleeping. For weeks you had been eyeing up the small bookstore near campus because you knew for a fact that they had just put up a sale for the new volumes of Bungo Stray Dogs and you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see your beloved Chuuya Nakahara. You’d do anything for that red-headed son of a bitch. Which means sacrificing the rest you so desperately needed. You could sleep anytime you wanted now that it was break, but that sale was going to go soon (and you were a broke college student so you couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste), so you needed to get into that bookstore ASAP. You knew that they were closing at 6 pm. But by the time you got back to your dorm room to change it was 4:30 pm and it was a good twenty-minute walk.

You came barreling through the door of your dorm room scaring the life out of your roommate in the process. You were throwing stuff around the room looking for more comfortable clothes to change into, and to find that stupid discount coupon your literary professor gave your entire class months ago to buy books that would “enrich your mind”. You had scoffed when he turned around after giving you the coupon, stuffing that damned paper into a random pocket of your bag. Now that you needed that coupon it was nowhere to be found. Now, you could go without the coupon but you only had like 25 bucks to your name, and you needed to take what you could get. You were about to give up on your search because you were running out of precious time, that is until your roommate, Yoo Jimin, or Karina as she liked to be called, waltzed up to you with a very familiar paper in between her pointer and middle finger. Your eyes lit up, your hands moving to grab the coupon from her. But Karina snatched it back so fast before you even had the chance to blink. “Hey! Do you even need that coupon? Last I checked the last book you read was your physics textbook but you turned to the first page before nearly bursting out into tears.”, you whined. Karina gives you a dirty look as a warning to shut the hell up, which you do knowing she’s the only one with a coupon.

“I’ll give you the coupon if you get me a volume of Jujutsu Kaisen.”, she bargained. You give her an incredulous stare, “That’s all you wanted? Okay, that’s fine Rina, but please give me the coupon they’re gonna close in like an hour and won’t be open till Monday, and I need to read something other than a lab report or I’m going to go insane.”, you stressed. Satisfied with your answer and her plan to make you do something for her, she hands you the coupon and blows you a teasing kiss before walking over to her side of the room and plopping onto her bed. Rolling your eyes you scramble to gather the rest of your belongings before running out of your dorm room, the door slamming, giving your conniving roommate her second scare of the day.

That’s what brings us to present time and your current predicament. You had to run like three blocks to get to the tiny bookstore in your university’s town. It was nestled in between a cafe (which is quite convenient) and an arcade. You stood in front of the building wheezing your lungs out, you attempted to catch your breath so you looked less like a crazed person who was struggling to breathe and more like a normal person getting ready to purchase books. When you entered you had a good forty or so minutes to grab the two volumes, pay, and get out. What could go wrong?

There were very few people left in the bookstore, only about one or two people that were still perusing the many aisles of books. You knew exactly where the volumes you wanted were located. Gripping the coupon in your hand tighter you walked towards the manga section of the bookstore. This section was by far the smallest section of the entire store and the only place they kept the manga, for obvious reasons.

You had only taken one step into the section when the strap of your bag decided that latching onto the manga tower was a good idea. Thus bringing the entire display down onto your unsuspecting form.

You first felt a spike of pain on your backside, and it hurt like a bitch. You looked behind you to catch a glimpse of the cause of the pain and noticed it was that display of My Hero Academia volumes you saw placed right at the entrance of the aisle. Of course, it had to be that god-forsaken manga Chenle and Jisung were talking your ear off about all the time. But like god damn, what were these books made of? You had landed on the ground on your knees in the most ungraceful way possible, and you knew for a fact that you probably had a bad case of carpet burn on your knees. It didn’t help that you looked like an idiot, and it also didn’t help that you were quickly garnering the attention of the other customers in this tiny ass bookstore. Of course, you’d humiliate yourself right when they get a sudden influx of customers.

You felt your face turn hot in humiliation, and you moved to try to get up to attempt to save yourself from this embarrassment. However, the damn display wasn’t done with you yet and didn’t want to budge. Why was this display all of sudden so heavy? You turn your attention to the people walking over to check out the commotion you created. However, none jumped to your aid. You sighed in disbelief and were about to attempt to get up by yourself again. Before you could, you felt the relief of the heavy display being lifted off of you and you swear to god you could hear the angels ascending down to Earth and singing to you. You turned to look at your savior and you came face to face with the cutest stranger kneeling next to you, his facial expression showing deep concern. He was saying something to you but you were too busy gaping at him like a fish out of water.

He puts one of his hands on your shoulder finally snapping you out of your dazed stupor. The cute stranger’s face had contorted to one of panic, “Did you hit your head too? Do you have a concussion?” You frantically start waving your hands out, shaking your head no, “N-No, I’m fine! Perfectly fine, peachy actually.” you say, your voice cracking by the end of your sentence. The boy next to you doesn’t look convinced but he nods anyway and he lets out a small laugh at the oddity of all of this. You laugh too, one because his laugh is infectious and you couldn’t help but laugh along, and two, you thought it was stupid to think this, but you couldn’t help it, all that was going through your mind was, you didn’t know who to thank for giving you the chance to meet this cute stranger, your incessant love for Chuuya Nakahara or Deku’s silly superhero gang.

Turns out that cute stranger’s name was Mark Lee, an employee of that bookstore. A cute name for a cute human, you had thought. After the whole fiasco, you had gotten an ice pack from him and assurance that he’d be the one to clean up the display you destroyed. You sheepishly told him you didn’t mind cleaning it up yourself since it technically was your fault. But he insisted that a pretty, injured girl like yourself shouldn’t be doing any cleaning at all. That shut you up real quick, a red hue taking over your face. You were just glad he didn’t notice. You ended up staying till the store closed, talking with Mark about different animes and mangas you two enjoyed, and other interests you had.

Karina had texted you a couple of minutes after the bookstore closed wondering where you were.

rina<3: hey where r u, its been like yearssssss y/n: ive been gone for like two hours max, u’ll survive rina<3: i just want my dose of jujutsu kaisen :/

You snicker at the message and shut your phone off choosing to tell her what had happened when you arrived back to your shared dorm. Standing in front of the bookstore, you put your phone into your back pocket. You look up right on time to watch Mark fumble with the keys as he tries to lock up the store for the night. You laugh quietly, who knew the boy who’d come to your rescue was also clumsy, granted his clumsiness was cute and yours was more on the, I’d rather crawl into a hole and die than have to go through that again, sort of clumsiness.

Mark turns around to look at you after he finishes locking up the shop and he gives you a small grin, and you were sure your stomach was a terrarium with the amount of butterflies flying about in there. You barely knew the guy, you seriously couldn’t be forming an infatuation that fast. Right?

“Y/N, you said you lived on campus right?”, he asked as he walked over to stand next to you. You nodded in response to his question. “That’s great! I live on campus too, it’s sort of crazy how we never really saw each other before though. If you want, we can walk back together?”, he suggested.

You were getting ready to refuse not wanting to waste any more of Mark’s time, at this point, you assumed he was just doing all this to be polite, and if it were you in Mark’s position, you sure as hell wouldn’t exactly be so chipper and willing after having to clean someone else’s mess. But once you glanced over towards him, you were so done for. He was giving you one of those doe-eyed stares, like a cute little puppy wanting something from you. So you folded, like a piece of paper, but like come on, how could you say no to a face like that? That’s how you ended up with an entertaining walk home, an amused roommate, and a new contact in your phone.

Turns out that Jisung and Chenle knew Mark as well. They both had met him in one of their many shared classes (you realize a majority of your friends really enjoy the arts), and they use him as a means to get a discount at the bookstore Mark works at. You wish you had thought of that, but you supposed you already used all of Mark’s sympathy the moment you tumbled down to the ground with his meticulously arranged display of books. Speaking of the bookstore, when both of those two gremlins found out how you two had met they both laughed their big heads off, both boys in literal tears after Mark was finished retelling the encounter. You wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole but life never wanted to go your way, did it?

You cursed them both out in embarrassment and a bit of anger as Mark sat in between you and the two boys, attempting to cover his small amused smile from you, but it didn’t really work. “Do you find me getting hurt so funny? I’m glad my demise will forever be a joke.”, you lamented. Chenle laughed again, his laugh higher in pitch now, and you had to restrain the urge to reach over the table and throttle his giant head. You felt a slight pat on your back and you looked over to see Mark smiling at you with his cute little smile and you felt your heart melt, “Don’t be too sad, I don’t find it that funny.”

Mark looks at his watch and he looks at it alarmed, he starts hastily getting up from the table you four were sitting at, pulling his backpack onto his shoulders, “Sorry guys gotta go, I promised Donghyuck I’d help him with recording his new cover of some song he found on Youtube.” He turns to look at you, “Catch you later? Heard there’s a new manga coming out soon, maybe we can read it together?” You nod dumbly at his question, Mark sends you one last smile and a thumbs-up before he leaves. His figure moved farther and farther away from the three of you.

Chenle was the first to break the silence. “Have you finished drooling over Mark yet?” You spluttered, “What are you talking about? I was not!” You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at the boy. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, and you groaned covering your probably red face with your hands. You peeked through your fingers and Jisung was also looking at you expectantly. Okay, so maybe you should have throttled Zhong Chenle earlier.

Being friends with Mark Lee is exhausting, and that’s only one of the many words you could use to describe your friendship, but you didn’t feel like delving more into that territory.

Mark was excitable at times and was always passionate about the things he had an interest in. In your words, he was a huge nerd. So when he found out there was going to be a convention in a town near yours he was practically bouncing off the walls. He had called you at three in the morning with the news, you, on the other hand, answered the phone half asleep mumbling “mhms” and “uh huhs” to his excited rambles.

When the day of the convention had come, he had convinced you to come along, and even dress up as a character. You decided to dress as Yosano from Bungo. It was a simple outfit really, just a button-up blouse with a black tie, a black skirt, and some black tights. Your hair is adorned with Yosano’s signature butterfly clip. You had to say, you cleaned up nicely. You exited out of your dorm and walked down to the parking area of your dorm’s building.

Mark was supposed to come over and pick you up ten minutes ago but he still wasn’t here. For someone excited about all this, you’d think he’d be the one to come early. You pulled out your phone getting ready to text him, but the boy in question pulled up to where you were standing. Looking up at him you noticed he was dressed up as well, as Ranpo, from his hat, down to his little detective cape.

That is so adorable. You just wanted to pinch his cheeks at how cute he looked, but you threw the thought out the window. You clambered into Mark’s passenger seat, closing the door trying not to get your skirt caught as you closed it. Mark looked over at you and chuckled, “Hey what are the odds we’re two characters from the same manga?”

You giggled as you playfully hit him on his shoulder, “I literally told you who I was going as ages ago, you literally did that on purpose.” Mark turns to look back at the road as he starts to pull out of the parking lot onto the main road. “Maybe I did.”. he says nonchalantly. You glance at him, “You wanted to be matchy matchy?”, you chirped. He beams at you and nods. You felt those butterflies in your stomach start again, just like all the other times you’ve hung out with Mark, but somehow this felt different. “Any reason as to why?”, you asked slowly.

Mark sucks in a breath, and you worry you’ve offended him. You start to take back what you had said, but he places a hand on one of yours that was in your lap, and that’s when you notice how clammy your hands were. You were praying to anyone that would listen so that he wouldn’t notice. If he did he didn’t mention it at all but not that that mattered at all because the next few words he uttered nearly knocked the wind out of you, and made you forget the fact that you had gross hands.

“I like you, Y/N. To be honest, I thought I was being obvious in my feelings for you, but forgive me if I was a little awkward, I’ve never really done anything like that at all.”

You stared at him not knowing what to say, and this felt a little too familiar to your unceremonious meeting, where even back then you had stared at him like he’d grown two heads. Mark was beginning to feel a slight bit uncomfortable under your gaze and started to pull his hand back, “If you... don’t return my feelings that’s fine too! We can forget this happened, stay as friends and we can go back to reading our silly little mangas together.”

You grabbed his hand back and held it in yours. His hand was warm, and it felt nice, and you liked it a lot. “You know, Mark Lee, I like you too, probably a lot more than you think, plus you were quite literally my knight in shining armor.”

“Oh thank god you like me back, I thought you thought of me as some nerd pestering you all the time.”, Mark gushed. You jokingly put a hand on your chin pretending to think, “Welllllllllllll………..”

“Hey, I was making a joke!”

“I’m just kidding.”, you say, grinning from ear to ear. “So does that mean, you’re my girlfriend?”, he asks giddily. “If you want, I can be.”, you breathed. “Then, it’s official.”, Mark says, while drawing delicate circles with his thumb on your hand.

Mark turns to take another look at you before adding, “I’m glad your clumsy self got nearly crushed by a My Hero Academia display stand.”

“Okay, well now you’ve ruined it.”

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #mark lee x reader #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #nct dream x reader #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #mark lee #nct #nct dream #nct dream fanfic #nct 127 fanfic #mark x reader #marker #jaeminmp4

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absurdthirst · 1 year

Text

Lost & Found {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 13.9k

Warnings: Pre-Outbreak, secret relationship, strip tease, oral sex (male receiving), frottage, fingering, vaginal sex, derogatory language, bar fights, Outbreak, angst, mentions of miscarriages, unprotected sex, mentions of death, spoilers for canon material

Comments: Joel told you he would get Sarah and be right back for you. Twenty years later, he shows up with a strange girl and a lifetime of changes to your old lover. Giving you one more night before he promises to come back this time.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Do you think that I can meet her officially tonight?” You ask, checking your watch to make sure you aren’t running behind before you look back in the mirror as you talk on the phone. “I mean, as you know - the - the girlfriend?”

It’s been eight, nearly ten months that you’ve been…involved with Joel Miller and you don’t know if you’ve reached the level that he’s comfortable with introducing you to his daughter, Sarah, as more than what you already are. Letting her know that her dad is dating.

You get it, you really do. You would be protective over introducing someone into your child’s life if you were a single parent. It’s not like you didn’t know Sarah, you saw her everyday. It was hard not to when you were her teacher. Flirting subtly at a parent teacher conference had turned into bumping into each other on a rare night when Tommy dragged him out to the bar. In turn had led to you bringing Joel home for a very pent up night of great sex and then a date set for the next week.

“I don’t know…” You can hear the hesitation in his voice and sigh softly. It’s his birthday today and you hate that he can’t just take the day off. They need to get the framing done on the house that has been a clusterfuck of a job from the start. He’s rushing around his own house, probably woke up late again and you nod even though you can’t see him.

“Okay. I want to see you tonight if you can.” You hum, smirking to yourself as you button up the last few buttons of your shirt and cover the lingerie you had put on after getting out of the shower. “I want to give you your birthday present.” You purr. “And what I bought you.”

Joel groans softly, pulling on his boots while the brick of a phone is tucked into his neck. “I’ll see what I can do, honey.” He promises, bending over to tie the laces. “Let’s - I can tell Sarah that I have to work late. I’ll be at yours at 6.” He tells you, knowing you’ll be home. He wants to see you, he really does. Especially wants to see his birthday present.

“Okay baby.” You agree and he can hear the sigh in your words. You want more and he doesn’t know if he’s ready to take that step. It’s just been him and Sarah since her mother left and he’s scared of how she might react to him dating. With a grunt, he makes his way out of his bedroom, ushering Sarah out of the front door along with Tommy.

When Sarah asks him to be home early with a cake, he lies and says his job will run late. Feeling guilty to push her back, but Tommy picks up why he’s says nine. The job will be done by five but it’s obvious Joel wants to see you. Agreeing that the job will take a while, Tommy meets his brother's eyes who nods in thanks for covering for him. “I’ll bring you home a cake.” Joel promises when they drop Sarah off.

“So are you ever gonna tell her?” Tommy asks, pulling away from the school.

“Soon. I - It’s complicated.” Joel sighs and looks out of the window.

“What’s complicated? It’s been eleven years, Joel. You’re still young. You can’t be alone forever. Sarah will be out of the house soon.” Joel frowns, not liking to hear that but it’s true, she’s growing up so fast. She will be off to college and he will be alone in that house.

“I just don’t want her to be pissed with me. Think I’m replacing her mom.” He admits and Tommy shakes his head, “she wants you to be happy.” Joel grunts, not wanting to say anything else about it all. He wants to get this job done and head over to your place later.

****

“Shit.” Joel huffs, wiping his forehead while Tommy drives him over to your place. It’s been a long ass day and he’s ready to relax. After thanking Tommy for the ride, he gets out of the truck and makes his way to your apartment, ringing the doorbell.

Rushing towards the door, you feel the thrill of anticipation curling in your belly at seeing Joel again. Even though he’s handsome, he’s also funny and sarcastic, things that you appreciate in a man. When you open the door, you watch him turn around and a slow smile curls his lips. “Hey baby.” You murmur, immediately opening the door wider to let him come in. “How long do you have?” You know he has to go home soon, it’s his birthday and he wants to spend it with Sarah. You’re lucky that he can even see you today, especially given the weird way cops have been flooding the streets and sirens have been sounding all day.

“Enough time for me to enjoy my birthday present.” Joel jokes, stepping into your place and he kicks the door shut behind him so he can grab you, pressing his lips to yours. He hates to say it but you make him so damn happy. He hasn’t felt this way in so long and he tries to maintain a distance but it’s becoming harder and harder to leave you and not see you for days. His tongue slides against yours, his hands squeezing your ass, and he wonders what is beneath those clothes.

“Joel.” You moan, feeling how eager he already is against your hip. It’s not like you aren’t aware that he’s come over for sex, but you hum and pull away from him teasingly. “Sit down on the couch, birthday boy.” You smirk and step out of his grasp so he shoots you an unhappy frown. “Sit down or you don’t get to see what I wore for you.” You reach for the first button of your shirt and slip it out of the hole, opening it up so he can see the extra flesh it reveals.

Joel bites his lip, eyes burning into you as you slowly, too fucking slowly, remove the shirt you’re wearing. When you shrug it off to expose the lace and silk beneath, his cock twitches violently in his jeans. “Shit, darlin’.” He rasps, wiping his hands on his jeans while you work on the button of your sensible pants, a professional outfit compared to his jeans and t-shirt. You are opposites. You’re kind and soft, and he’s sarcastic and hard. Yet you compliment each other beautifully, balancing the other out. “You’re really teasin’ me here.”

“Thought about you today.” You are very aware that you are teasing him. You want to tease him. To drive him just as crazy as he drives you. “Those hands on me.” It’s not a secret that you like a man who works with his hands and he has great ones. “Distracting me really.” You reach for your slacks, unbuttoning them and turning around so he can get a look at your lace covered ass as you slowly draw them down. “You distract me.”

Fuck, you’re gorgeous. He wants to bite your ass cheek. Bury his face in your cunt for hours on end. “I’m distracting?” He counters with a breathless chuckle. You kick your pants aside and he exhales deeply, fingers twitching with the need to touch you. “You gonna tease me all day or do I get to bury my face in your pussy and make you scream my name?” He asks, spreading his legs to allow his hardening cock more room.

You turn around and grin at him, well aware that the front of your panties are sheer, showing off your cunt and you shake your head. “It’s your birthday.” You pout. “I want to suck your cock, baby.” You bite your lip, looking down at the bulge of his jeans and your mouth waters. “I want to make you scream my name for your birthday.”

“Best fucking birthday present ever.” He admits, watching you as you kneel between his legs. “I won’t argue if you wanna suck my cock.” He jokes, watching you as you work on unbuckling his belt and he grabs his phone, tossing it onto the sofa beside him. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” He murmurs, looking down at you and he reaches out to squeeze your tit.

“You’re just saying that so I suck your cock.” You joke, mouth watering when you reach inside to pull his hard and throbbing cock out of his boxers. “God, you have such a beautiful dick.” You coo, leaning in, swiping the tip with your tongue before you wrap your lips around the head and suck him into your mouth while you look up at him.

“Fuckkkk.” Joel groans, head tilting back against the sofa, and he closes his eyes while the stresses of the day melt away. His head shifts again to look down at you, the way you’re taking his cock into your mouth has him ready to blow his load but he controls himself.

You keep it slow, soft. Wanting to draw this out for him and make it as good as you can. This is his birthday and he deserves to be treated well. A siren blasts by outside but you ignore it. Wrapping your hand around the base and squeezing him while you start to bob your head and take him deeper into your mouth.

You’re unraveling him from the inside out. Slowly picking apart his composure with every bob of your head. When your fingers slide down to fondle his balls, he growls out your name. “Fuck baby.” He curses you, groaning when you take him deeper until he’s sliding down your throat.

Feeling your panties getting soaked, you open your throat even more. You feel the tears starting to slide down your cheeks, seeping out every time you push him deeper and you don’t care about the mess. You don’t care about the way your spit slides down your jaw, reaching up and cradling his balls gently.

“Shit. Shit. You’re gonna - I’m gonna-” He warns you with a groan just before his cock twitches and he starts to spill down your throat, hot seed spurting into your mouth. “Oh fuck baby.” He pants, eyes squeezed shut as his cock throbs in your mouth, balls tight in your hand.

You swallow as much as you can, the cum you can’t swallow spilling out of the corners of your mouth and down your jaw while you work him through his orgasm. Keeping him down your throat until he’s finished, his cock softening slightly and with a last twitch, he groans out your name. You pull off him with a gasp and grin up at him as you swipe your mouth. “Happy birthday old man.” You tease.

Joel stares at you, dumbfounded and so in love with you. He can’t deny that any longer. He fucking loves you. “Darlin’, come ‘ere.” He demands, grabbing you to drag you up onto his lap so he can press his lips to yours, his hands are everywhere. Squeezing what he can and he cups your tits through the lace. “This needs to go. As pretty as it is, I wanna make you cum.”

You tangle your fingers into his hair and groan out his name. “So tear it off me Joel.” You order him, knowing that you had bought it for him to do just that. You wanted to have him rip your lingerie off. “You gonna be able to get it up again?” You tease playfully. “You are getting old.”

“Fuck you.” He chuckles deeply, knowing you’re just riling him up. You’re younger than him but not by that much. He doesn’t add anything else, focusing on ripping the lace and silk off of you, tearing into it as he seeks easier access to your skin. “So fucking sexy. And all mine.” He groans and leans in to wrap his lips around your nipple, groaning at how hot and pliable your flesh is.

“Joel!” You cry out, clinging to him while his mouth suckles and bites on your breast. Closing your eyes and shuddering when you feel the scruff of his jaw on your skin, knowing that he will rub you tender and you will feel it tomorrow. “Oh fuck baby.” You roll your hips, grinding down on him and your clit catches against the flap of his jeans, making you moan.

He loves how you moan and he grabs your hips, encouraging you to use him however you want. He wants to fuck you but in the meantime, he wants you to cum for him. He switches to your other breast, licking and biting, sucking and soothing his teeth marks on your flesh.

Your head tilts back, knowing that Joel won’t let you fall as you let him suck and bite at your breasts. Rolling your hips fast and chasing pleasure while his mouth moves over your skin, wetting it and covering you in his saliva. “Fuck, fuck baby.” You whine, wishing that he could fuck you right now, but you know he needs more time to recover than that.

Joel knows what you need and he’s eager to give it to you. Quickly sliding his hand down and under you so he can push two fingers inside of you, curling them and pressing his thumb against your clit. He loves how your walls flutter around his digits, so close to cumming.

“SHIT!” You cry out, fingers digging into his shoulders but you don’t want to leave marks on him. Oftentimes he will be shirtless around Sarah and you know that his brilliant, observant daughter will notice. “Of fuck baby, I need-” you break off and cry again, feeling his fingers push deeper and curl more.

He gives you want you want, desperate to hear you cum, and he groans your name when clamp down on his fingers, soaking them while you moan loud and proud. “So fucking perfect.” Joel groans, working you through it with sipping wet fingers, his cock stirring to life again.

You whimper, tucking your face into his neck and breathing in his scent as you ride out your high. It doesn’t matter that he smells like sweat, you like the way he smells after a day of work. It’s sexy to you, the way a man who works hard smells. “Fuck.” You kiss his skin and smirk as you pull back. “Are you sure it’s not my birthday?” You tease, leaning in and kissing his lips again.

“Definitely not.” Joel chuckles, kissing you softly and his hands caress your back. “It’s my birthday.” He says proudly, “and I want you, darlin’.” He murmurs the nickname, knowing that what he feels for you is love. Something he never imagined he’d feel again after losing Sarah’s mom. “I love you.” He promises, knowing he doesn’t say it enough. He needs to say it more. He needs to introduce you to Sarah as his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to hide you anymore.

Softening, you reach up and cup his cheek gently. Leaning forward and pressing your forehead against his and sighing softly. “I love you too.” You promise, pressing your lips to his tenderly. It’s not often that you hear those words from him, he’s good at teasing, at showing you that he cares but often the words are rare. “Very much.”

Your words make Joel pull you close, burying his face into your neck and he allows himself a moment to just breathe you in. “I want you baby.” He murmurs, his cock now hard against his thigh and he wants to be inside of you. “Lay down on the sofa.” He demands, shifting to stand you up and he works on removing his clothes, wanting to feel every inch of you.

Shifting, you watch as he strips down, enjoying every inch of skin that he reveals. Loving how strong yet soft he is. The corded muscles mixed with extra flesh, something that he complains about but you find it sexy. If he had time, you would lay him down and give him a back rub as well. “Come on baby.” You hum. “I need you inside me.”

Joel shifts to kneel between your legs, looking down at you as you lay on the sofa. “You’re so fucking beautiful baby.” He murmurs, caressing your sides and he grabs your hips, pulling you closer so you can throw your thighs over his. He grips his cock, teasing your clit for a moment and chuckling at your needy whine. He pushes inside of you, bending down so he can press his lips to yours.

“Fuck Joel.” You moan, lifting your legs to let him sink deeper into you. It’s not going to be a long, romantic romp in the bed, it rarely is with Joel, but he needs to get back to Sarah. “Jesus baby.” You turn your head and kiss along his jaw. “Happy birthday.” You hum as he starts to move.

He smiles against your neck, “thank you. Best birthday present ever.” He chuckles and starts to move, setting a slow but deep pace as he pushes into you over and over again. “You are so good to me.” He murmurs, knowing he doesn’t say it enough but you are his light in the darkness. You and Sarah are his reasons for living.

You would think that the pace would be quick, harsh but it’s not. It’s a slower pace, one where you can feel every ridge of his cock as he fucks down into you. Making you gasp his name and hold onto him like you’re drowning. “Oh fuck, Joel.” You pant out, kissing along his shoulder.

He grinds into you, wanting you to enjoy him while he’s here since he always has to rush off. He grinds into you, pressing his pelvis against yours and he groans when your walls clench around him. “Stop tryin’ to make me cum.” He reprimands you, slapping your thigh.

A giggle bubbles out of you, making you moan when he does it again. “Can’t help it.” You retort, closing your eyes and tilting your hips up. “You feel too good, baby.” It’s electric, the way that he manages to push against that perfect spot that makes your toes curl. “Want you to cum.”

He shakes his head, shifting his weight so he can rub your clit with his thumb. “I need you to cum first.” He orders, rocking into you a little faster as his cock twitches inside of you.

“Bossy.” You huff, mouth dropping open and another low moan tumbles out. Your eyes slipping closed again as you just let yourself feel what he is doing to you. The muscles under your hands move as he rocks his hips and pushes his cock against your cervix in the most delicious fashion. “Jo-Joel.” Quietly shaking, you come apart underneath him.

The way you come apart beneath him has his heart pounding in his chest. Jesus Christ, he wishes he could burn that into his brain forever. The way your head tilts back, the way his name sounds on your lips. It’s perfection and he can’t help but surge forward to press his lips to yours, swallowing your cries. He pushes his tongue into your mouth and pushes his cock deep inside of you a few times, groaning when he gives in and starts to cum inside of you.

Panting into each other, Joel finally stops grinding into you. Warmth fills you and makes you smile as you try to catch your breath. “Happy Birthday again.” You murmur softly, smiling up at him when he pulls back to look down at you. “Old man.”

“So fucking cheeky.” He snorts, “such a brat.” He leans down to nudge his nose against yours. “Thank you baby. Truly the best damn birthday I’ve had in forever.” He sighs and shifts to lay down beside you. “I do love you baby.” He promises, “I just gotta give Sarah some more time. I promise you, I’ll tell her within the next couple of weeks.” He caresses your back, knowing it would be nice to have you over for dinner with his daughter.

“I don’t want to rush you.” You sigh softly, fingers tracing his skin as the two of you lay together on your sofa. “You can tell her when you’re ready. She’s more important than me wanting to be official.” You feel bad, not wanting to pressure him into doing something he will regret. “Okay?” You twist your head up and kiss his chin.

Joel kisses your forehead, thanking whatever God is up there that you came into his life. “Okay.” He murmurs, closing his eyes. You must’ve fallen asleep together because his phone is ringing and he grunts, shifting away from you so he can stand up and find his cell phone. He discovers the brick in the side table and picks it up. It’s Tommy. “Hey man.” He rasps and Tommy snorts.

“Jesus. You’re still there? It’s 9:30, man. Sarah is expecting you to be at home with a cake.”

Joel curses, knowing he’s fucked up and forgotten the time. “Fuck. I’ll head home now.” He tells his brother and hangs up the phone, “baby. I gotta head home.” He announces as you sit up to look at him, eyes bleary and hair all over the place.

“Okay.” You mumble quietly, always hating when he leaves. You feel slightly off balance after he leaves. Standing up, you watch him redress quickly while you wrap the throw from the back of the couch around you. “Get home safe.” You murmur, walking him to the door and biting your lip. “Since it’s early, I might go to the bar.” You tell him, knowing that it’s not necessary to tell him what you’re doing, but you treat this like you would any relationship.

Sirens interrupt Joel but he reaches for you. “I wish I could go with you but I gotta get home. You gotta be safe, okay?” He demands, cupping your cheeks. “Call me when you get home.” He orders and presses his lips to yours. “Thank you for an amazing birthday, sweetheart.” He opens your door and kisses you one last time.

****

“Hey Tommy.” You walk up to the other Miller brother and give him a smile as you pat his back gently. You like Joel’s younger brother, always easy to talk to and good for a laugh. The Army vet was often with you and Joel when you managed to go out together. “Mind if I drink with you tonight since Joel is home eating cake?”

“He got the cake? Well I’ll be damned.” Tommy snorts, gesturing for the bartender to get you both a drink. “Of course you can sit here, sweetheart. Joel will kill me if I don’t make sure you get home safe.”

You smirk, knowing that Joel will chew his brother out, it’s a very Joel thing to do. “So how was work today?” You ask as you wait for your drink, listening to Tommy complain that they had been sent the wrong headers and the job had taken a lot longer than they wanted and cost them money every hour they couldn’t work. The construction business was hard but they both worked their asses off. “I’m sorry.” You hum, getting your beer from the bartender with a nod of thanks and grin at your boyfriend’s brother. “You have big plans for the weekend?”

Tommy shrugs, “might have a date. With the girl who works at Safeway. We always flirt when I get my groceries and I’m ready to ask her out.” He smiles, hoping she doesn’t turn him down. She’s so beautiful and he wants what Joel has with you. “My brother finally gonna make an honest woman of you?” He teases, nudging you playfully.

You snort quietly, rolling your eyes at him. “You would know before I would.” You tell him, knowing how close the brothers are. They aren’t the softest men, but they confide in one another and you’ve found it admirable that they share a close bond. “You should ask your girl out, she’d be crazy to turn you down.”

Tommy smiles, “thanks. I’m gonna ask her out tomorrow and then-” Tommy is interrupted when two men saddle over to you, leaning in.

“Hey sweet cheeks. You wanna get away from this dork and come have a drink with us?” The taller one asks.

“No thanks.” You barely refrain from rolling your eyes at the overt display of machismo that you find less than attractive. “I only drink with people whose IQ is above the legal drinking age.” You turn back towards Tommy with every intention of ignoring them.

Tommy snorts in amusement at your quick wit but the guys don’t like it. “You find something funny, asshole?” The shorter one hisses and Tommy straightens his back.

“Yeah I do. You and tweedle dumber here won’t take no for an answer.” Tommy retorts, fists clenching after he sets his drink down.

You know that look. Tommy’s got a temper on him and he’s not afraid to let his fists do the talking. “Tommy.” You reach over and touch his arm, hoping to get him to relax. “Don’t. They aren’t worth it. They’re just pissed that some woman they know nothing about turned them down.”

“Yeah. Listen to your whore, buddy. She probably sucks the cock of everyone in here without you knowing.” The taller one taunts Tommy who clenches his jaw. “You gonna suck my cock baby?” The shorter one asks, grabbing you and that’s when Tommy loses it. He surges forward, pushing you out of the way, and he brings his hand up to punch the taller one, knowing Joel would’ve done the same.

“Shit, Tommy!’ You cry out, watching the bar dissolve into an all out brawl and you get shoved off to the side and jostled around in the chaos until the police come and start slapping cuffs on everyone. You manage to not get arrested, but you are transported downtown, having lost your purse in the brawl and you don’t have proof of identification.

Tommy gets one phone call and he calls his brother who curses him when he tells him to come bail him out of jail. “I was protecting your girl. These two assholes- they wouldn’t leave her alone and I had to do something.” He says and Joel shakes his head.

“Tommy, you son of a bitch.” He sighs and tells him he’s on his way, looking down at Sarah. He carries her to bed, kissing her hair, and he makes his way to the jail, cursing Tommy for getting himself in this shit.

The jail bothers you. Even though you weren’t arrested, you were kept at a desk near the holding cells and witnessed the general chaos. People are losing their minds and several times try to attack the officers, one trying to bite them. “Tommy!” You hadn’t been able to remember Joel’s number, it was saved in your phone which was lost along with your purse. You had relied on him to call his brother to get you both out of here. Especially since you don’t even have your car keys, or a ride back to the bar. You just want to go home and get away from here. “Is he coming?”

Tommy manages to get to the bars, nodding and yelling out yes. When Joel arrives, he hands over the money for Tommy’s bail and he curses when he sees you sitting there. “What the fuck are you doin’ in here?” He asks, noticing you waiting for Tommy. He’s pissed at his brother for getting himself into shit like this.

“I lost my purse and keys in the bar fight.” You tell him as the three of you rush out of the bar towards Joel’s truck. “I- they brought me down here because I didn’t have ID on me.” You watch more cop cars go speeding out of the station parking lot, lights blaring and shudder. “What is going on?” You demand, wondering if the world is going crazy.

Just as you walk towards the truck, you see a man get attacked, another guy jumping on him and biting into his neck, making you scream. “Shit! We have to help!” Tommy says but Joel holds his arm up, stopping you from moving.

“Wait.” He orders and just as he says that, people come running out of the jail, screaming and chased by others who are biting and growling. “Shit. We gotta go. We gotta go.” Joel orders, dragging you to his truck. “What the fuck was that?” Tommy asks and Joel shakes his head, starting the engine and backing up without even looking.

You are shaking, looking out the back of the truck’s window as you watch the people running behind you. “What the fuck is going on?” You demand, Tommy turning on the radio and hearing the broadcast.

“-advise all citizens to stay inside and lock their door. Do not go outside, do not open the door to others. Stay off the roads.”

You swallow harshly. “Shit.”

The radio continues broadcasting. “The virus seemingly spreads through bites. Hundreds of people reporting unusual behavior. We urge all citizens to stay indoors and not to venture out.”

“Oh my God,” Your eyes widen and you look around, realizing that you don’t see Joel’s daughter. “Where is Sarah?”

Joel is panicking, worried about Sarah, worried about you, worried about Tommy. “We are leaving. We gotta get out of here. Baby, baby listen to me.” He says to you, meeting your eyes in the rear view mirror. “I am gonna drop you home and you’re gonna get a bag and get ready to leave. I gotta go get Sarah and then we are gonna pick you up and get out of here.” He says and your eyes are wide as you stare at him. He says your name, “darlin’, do you fucking understand me?” He begs, needing you to be ready for this. He’s terrified but he needs you to be safe, for Sarah and Tommy to be safe. “Come on baby, you gotta concentrate.” He demands, speeding down the streets until he’s outside of your house.

He tells Tommy to stay in the truck and he grabs the wrench from his toolbox, guiding you to your building and just as he steps onto your floor, your neighbor rushes towards you, clearly rabid. Joel doesn’t think, he just acts, swinging the wrench to whack the asshole in the head, killing him.

“Oh my God.” You choke, staring at old man Jenkins.

“Baby. Baby,” Joel lowers the wrench and walks over to you. “Look at me.” He demands, “You gotta pack. Get all your shit together. I have to get Sarah.” He reminds you, cupping your cheek. “I love you. I love you. I’m coming back to you.” He promises, leaning in to kiss your lips.

You nod quickly, rushing up to your door and fishing the key out of the hiding spot to open your door. Turning around and looking at Joel as he watches you, nodding at you before you close the door. You throw the lock and rush to your bedroom, needing to change into practical clothes and pack a bag for when Joel comes back to get you. Minutes ticking by as the screams get close outside and the sirens wail. Waiting for Joel and Tommy to come back and get you like Joel promised he would.

Except he never does.

****

Joel sighs as he trudges through the woods with Ellie beside him. Gun in hand, his eyes scan the woods ahead, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge. He’s trying to keep his cool but he’s itchy with the need for security. Too many days on this path has made him ready for a hot meal and sleep, Ellie is getting tired too. He will have to set up camp soon and let her rest. “Come on kid, keep movin’” He demands and forces himself to keep going.

Watching the pair pass, you don't get a good look at their faces, not really caring what they look like. They are too close to your home and you don’t like that. Your own weapon is firmly in your hand and you move the bandana up over your nose, not wanting them to see your face. Once they are thirty feet in front of you, you jump out from your hiding spot and point the gun at their backs. “Stop where you are.” You order, leveling it at the girl. “Put the gun down and turn around. Slowly.”

Joel curses under his breath, knowing he should’ve trusted his instincts. “Don’t be too hasty now.” Joel orders, setting his gun down and he orders a reluctant Ellie to do the same. Fighting with a gun behind his back isn’t the way he plans on going out. Ellie puts her weapon down and Joel slowly turns around, hands in the air as he waits to see his latest opponent.

Your eyes widen and practice is the only reason that your gun doesn’t drop. If you didn’t know that your eyesight was still good, you would swear you were seeing the ghost of your past. Same face, same eyes, although they look like they have a lifetime of sorrow swirling in their depths. There’s more gray in his hair than there was twenty years ago, a lot more. But still, he looks good and he’s alive. “Joel?” You choke out in surprise. “Joel Miller?”

Joel’s eyes widen and then they narrow in defense. “Who the fuck is askin’?” He demands to know, growling out the question when his need to protect him and Ellie grows. He searches your eyes, trying to figure out where he knows you from and when you lower the bandana from your face, his jaw drops. He whispers your name, unable to believe it’s you.

You’re alive. You are older, more lines on your features but you’re just as beautiful as he remembers. He had carried the guilt of leaving you behind that night. His need to save Sarah overtook the need to protect you despite the struggle it took for him to make that decision. In the end, he lost both of you.

You see the moment he recognizes you, still keeping your gun level on the two of them and not trusting him for a moment. This man told you that he would be back for you and left you to survive on your own. The anger that you had managed to get past for years, thinking he had died that night roars to life and you narrow your eyes. “Long time to be right back, Joel.” You spit, looking over at the girl and wondering if she’s his daughter. “Where’s your other daughter? Where’s Sarah?”

Hearing her name for the first time in years makes Joel’s heart twist. He knows he should’ve come back for you. He assumed you had died along with everyone else he had known pre-outbreak. “She, uh, she’s dead.” He rasps out. You lower the gun a couple of inches, the shock clear on your face and Joel clears his throat, “she died the night I left you.” He confesses and Ellie looks between you both, trying to figure out your history.

That might be the only answer that would have made you drop your rifle from where it is trained on them. “Oh my God.” You drop the barrel down to have it pointed at the ground, your face falling. There have been plenty of people lost over the years, everyone you’ve ever known, but there’s something especially horrible about knowing that sweet, smart Sarah died that night. “I- I’m so sorry.” You choke out, tears pooling in your eyes for the girl you had known.

He has cried so many tears over twenty years, always making sure he remembered Sarah’s birthday and the anniversary of her death. He stares at you, his heart breaking inside but it’s been twenty years. You could be a threat. “Thanks.” He murmurs, ignoring the look from Ellie as she stares at him. He doesn’t make a move, wanting to keep aware of his surroundings and he waits for you to make the next move. He’s on edge, not relaxing despite the fact that he knows you.

You see the wariness in his eyes. The way that his defense are still up and you don’t blame him, it’s been twenty years. You aren’t the school teacher you were when you were dating him. “This your daughter?” You ask and Ellie steps forward shaking her head.

“Not his kid.” She tells you, tilting her head at you curiously. “Who are you?” She demands, wanting to know more about you but you don’t answer her, still watching the man you used to love.

“Are you- are you traveling alone?” You ask, needing to know if there are more in the area. “I don’t like strangers in my area.”

“We are alone.” Joel answers, hesitant but he wonders if you have found a group. “Are you?” He poses the question with a deep grunt, raising his eyebrows at you. He’s anxious and seeing you again has brought back a shit ton of emotions he thought he had buried deep and shut away.

“I’m alone.” You look back down the road and sigh, knowing they won’t find shelter before the sunlight fades and your place is about as secure as you can get in these times. “I can give you shelter for the night.” You offer after a moment. “It’s ten miles to the next shelter and there are Clickers in that area.”

Joel is hesitant still but he doesn’t have a choice. He’s exhausted and so is Ellie. He needs to trust you somewhat right now. He can’t just keep walking because of an awkward talk. He nods, “we’d appreciate that.” He answers and carefully picks up his gun. “Lead the way, darlin’.” His nickname for you slips out after all these years.

You turn and disappear into the woods, sure that they will follow you. The road to your shelter, your home, had been camouflaged so that it was nearly invisible from the main road, keeping people from turning onto it and since it was a former government facility, it wasn’t on most maps. The fences had been reinforced and you had no problems here since you had found it nearly three years ago. Slowly making it your own space.

“Do you trust her?” Ellie whispers to Joel who offers her a tiny nod. He does trust you to an extent but this life changes you. He follows you, gun still drawn until you open the heavy metal door to a building that looks covered in moss.

“You’re alone?” He double checks when you gesture for him to head inside.

“Just me.” You know he probably doesn’t trust you as much as you don’t exactly trust him but it’s a way of life now. A lot of things have changed. You let both of them enter ahead of you and when you close the door behind you, a heavy metal bar that you have rigged up on a pulley lowers to lock the door into place. No one is getting through it. “And this is home.”

Joel steps into the building and he’s impressed. There’s a kitchen, living area and bedroom. All a reminder of a time long forgotten. He glances around, feeling like he’s back in your apartment. “You did all this yourself?” He asks with a slight tone of awe in his voice. He’s impressed and so is Ellie as she whistles her approval.

“I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.” You shrug your shoulders slightly and point towards an open doorway. “There’s still a working toilet and shower.” You tell him, that being a point of pride for you since you had found solar panels on the roof so that you could get the batteries charged up once the overgrowth had been cleared away to run the facility.

“Jesus.” Joel murmurs, impressed and proud of you despite the fact that you no longer belong to him. He turns to you, “this is impressive, sweetheart.” He says and Ellie nods in agreement, shrugging off her backpack and Joel follows suit.

“You got any food?” Ellie asks, her usually blunt personality shining through.

“Sure.” You grin at the girl’s uninterested attitude in luxuries that were far beyond her time. She probably hadn’t had much of that so it wasn’t a big deal. Instead, things that were tangible were. Food. “I have some stew that I was planning on warming up for dinner or some bread.” You offer, looking at her to see what she thinks. “Or some pickles, fresh made.”

“Pickles?” Her eyebrows raise, “I wouldn’t mind pickles.”

Joel chuckles at her expression and he shrugs off his pack, setting it down on the floor where it’s accessible. He walks over to the kitchen area, watching you prepare the food and he admires how you look nowadays. Still so heartbreakingly beautiful but you have suffered the weight of the world on your shoulders like he did. “How did you get out?” He asks, curious about what happened when he didn’t come back for you.

“I didn’t leave until a week later.” You admit, remembering how terrified you had been huddled in your apartment without water or power. Eating the food in the fridge before it had gone bad and realizing that Joel wasn’t coming back for you. “It was….terrifying, but I remembered that the horses at my friend's stable might still be there. Took my chance and managed to not break my neck learning how to ride for more than just the few lessons I had taken.”

Joel nods, proud of you for thinking so fast. “I, uh, I’m glad you got out.” He reveals, ignoring the curious look from Ellie as she inspects the jar of pickles. “I figured…you know? Everyone who was in town was…” He can’t finish the thought, rehashing those sleepless nights when he wondered what became of you.

“I would have been if I kept waiting for you.” You tell him bluntly, moving over to Ellie and opening the pickles for her. “I thought you died. Since you didn’t come back. Went to your house to look for you. But, of course, no one was there.”

Joel swallows the lump in his throat. “I- I was going to come back for you. Got on the highway but it was packed and then we went to Main Street and the infected were chasing. I just - I wanted to get Sarah to safety. I was gonna come back for you but - but she died and then I could barely function. Tommy drove through the night to get us north. I just stared out of the window, unable to process what the fuck had just happened. I should’ve come back for you. Maybe if I had, Sarah would still be…” He trails off, feeling that choking feeling in his throat.

You sigh softly. “It doesn’t matter now.” Reaching over, you touch his arm gently. “But I am sorry about Sarah. She was such a sweet girl. I would think about her- you, often when times were hard. Hoping the two of you were okay.”

“I thought about you too.” He admits quietly, glancing over at Ellie who is eying the books you have on the shelf, running her vinegary fingers along the spines.

“Sarah used to love reading.” You smile, remembering when you would talk to her about her latest read.

“She didn’t get that from me. From her mama, she was the smart one.” Joel snorts, “she used to tell me about your chats. Said you were her favorite teacher.”

“She was my favorite student.” You can sense he needs to talk about her, wants to talk about her with someone who knew her. “She always gave me a book review in the ones I suggested.” You laugh. “But she loved telling me about the ones she didn’t like more. Arguing on what would have made them better.”

He can’t help but chuckle, “sounds like my baby girl.” He smiles fondly, his eyes sad as he tries to remember those small details that fade with time. “I never did get her that fuckin’ cake.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes for a second. “I was workin’ all hours trying to give her a better life and then I- I should’ve gone home earlier. I should’ve told you not to go out. I should’ve stopped-”

“Stop.” You demand, placing your hand on his shoulder, “I’ve thought about what I could’ve done differently. The mistakes I made. For twenty years. But I can’t keep torturing myself, I - I had to live with those mistakes and move on.”

Joel growls at you, “you didn’t lose your fuckin’ child.”

You shake your head, “No I didn’t,” knowing it’s not the time to tell him, ‘but I lost you.” You hiss back and Joel freezes, staring at you like he’s seeing you for the first time again. He can’t say anything to argue that point so he pushes past you, needing to get away and Ellie watches as he storms into an adjoining room, unaware of what’s in there.

Watching him go, you sigh, remembering that he doesn’t owe you anything anymore and it would do no good piling on the guilt. It wasn’t like you could turn back time. Deciding to let him stew, you turn towards the kid, Ellie, and paint a smile on your face. “Do you, um, know how to read?” You ask gently, aware that things are very different now. Ellie snorts and tosses you a roll of her eyes.

“Of course I know how to fucking read.” She pops back, making you hum at her sass.

“Well, feel free to read any one you want.” You offer, wondering if you made a mistake letting them invade your sanctuary. Maybe the past should have stayed in the past.

Joel isn’t sure how long he sits in what he establishes is another bedroom. He wishes he could go back in time. Maybe if he had come to find you, he would’ve been able to save Sarah too. He would’ve have been on Main Street when that fucking plane crashed. He sighs and rubs his cheek, certain that you hate him for never coming back for you.

When Joel finally comes back out, Ellie is curled up in one of the seats, a book open in front of her while you start putting together a meal that will feed the three of you tonight. Unsure of what to say, you just watch as he walks over to check on the girl- making you curious as to who she is to him- but you don’t ask.

“You okay kid?” Joel asks Ellie who looks up from her book.

“I’m fine. You wanna go talk to your girlfriend again? I’m cool here.” Ellie says with a slight smirk and Joel wants to roll his eyes.

“She isn’t - she was- just stay here.” He demands, stomping over to you to see you heating up some food. “So, uh, you don’t live with anyone else…have you ever?”

“Yes.” You give a small shrug of your shoulders. “There was another couple that stayed in the room where you were hiding.” You stir the stew and sigh. “He got bitten when we were foraging for supplies and she didn’t want to put him down. So I did.” You shudder thinking about that, but it’s a part of life. “When she attacked me, I put her down too.”

Joel nods, understanding how harsh this life is but you gotta do what it takes to survive. “Are you- have you had another else since me?” He asks softly so Ellie can’t hear, stepping closer to you. He resists the urge to touch you, old feelings resurfacing despite him thinking he buried them deep down inside of him.

“It’s been twenty years, Joel.” You remind him, nearly rolling your eyes at the idea of pining away for him. “I’m sure you’ve had lovers over the years. But, no one’s ever stuck and I never let them get too close.” You bite your lip. “It took a long time to heal.” You admit softly.

“Heal? Were you hurt?” He asks, tone a little harsher. He has absolutely not right to feel jealous about the other lovers you had but he does. He thought you were dead and now, you’re here and in front of him. The only person other than Tommy who had known Sarah. The other person who had known him pre-outbreak.

You sigh, knowing that this will piss him off, maybe even gut him. “Joel.” You turn to him, putting down the spoon and looking into his eyes. “After- three months after your birthday- I- I nearly died.” You tell him quietly. “I had a miscarriage.”

It’s been twenty years and Joel can still see the heartbreak in your eyes from that tragic event. He chokes out, unable to say anything since he wasn’t there for you. “Darlin’, I’m so fucking sorry.” He manages to choke out, angry with himself for not being there, he should’ve been there. You had lost the baby, your baby, his baby. It kills him a little, a part of his soul dying with the news.

“It was better off that way.” You tell yourself the same words you had repeated for nearly twenty years. Telling yourself that this was no world for a child. Especially when you had no one else. “It would have been a bad life for a child. Especially in those early years.”

“It’s possible. I know others who kept a child safe. Just - they did it in a quarantine zone. Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry.” He chokes, fingers twitching with trying to cup your cheeks but he doesn’t know if you want him to touch you. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Your eyes meet his before you look away, hating the regret you see swimming in them. “We make choices and we have to live with the outcomes. Life changed.” It’s strange to want to comfort him when you had been so distraught for him not coming for you for so long. But time heals and it’s not as bitter as it had been. “But I survived and so did you.” You clear your throat. “Tommy- did he-?” You wonder if he lost his brother as well.

“He’s alive. He’s in Jackson.” Joel reveals, “he’s - he’s doing good. Got a wife. He will be happy to hear about you. He always told me to make it official. Wanted me to get hitched again.” Joel smiles, remembering the lectures from his brother during their work hours. “He was right. I should’ve told Sarah about you. I should’ve asked you to marry me.” He sighs, full of regrets but he is happy you’re alive.

“You were doing what you thought best.” You remind him bitterly. “We didn’t know the world was going to fucking end on your birthday.” Your eyes widen slightly, realizing he lost Sarah that night, he lost his daughter on his birthday and that's heartbreaking.

He shrugs, knowing that he thinks about Sarah with every year he gets older. If he could've taken her place, he would've. Let her live instead of him. He's gone through every regret and thought he could in twenty years, including leaving you behind. "I - I have always thought of you." He admits quietly, not wanting Ellie to eavesdrop.

It shouldn’t warm you, but it does. You reach out and touch the back of his hand gently. “I’ve thought of you too.” You admit. “Dreaming about what could have been if everything -“ you break off. “It got me through some difficult times. I’m glad you are alive.”

Joel's entire body lights up at your touch. "Me too baby. I - I missed you." He rasps, shifting closer but the stew boils and you curse, turning to take it off of the heat.

"Ellie. Dinner is ready." You call out, looking at Joel to tell him to pause the conversation. He nods, leaning against the counter and Ellie comes over to the kitchen.

"Are you two done with your autopsy of your past?" The teenager snorts and Joel rolls his eyes.

You have to turn around so the teenager doesn’t see your grin. “Some people like talking about their past.” You tell her as you pull bowls down from an open cabinet. “Especially if they were nice memories.” The little girl frowns and you wonder if she had good memories or if she’s had something unpleasant. Deciding to switch topics. You dish up the stew. “Did you find a good book to read?” You ask, knowing that there’s a wide variety of whatever you could find.

Ellie shrugs, “yeah. I found this zombie novel. I love reading those. Seeing how people thought the world would end and it was all for fun. They didn’t think that shit would actually come true.” She snorts in amusement. She hasn’t known of anything but this world. She doesn’t know about going to the movies or going to a restaurant. McDonald’s or Walmart. She lives in a different world than when you were her age.

Joel takes the bowl you hold out, handing it to Ellie. “Eat.” He orders, wanting her to keep her strength up. “Thanks darlin’.” He says unconsciously when you take the bowl and Ellie chuckles under her breath.

There is plenty left over for seconds if they want and the way that Ellie tucks into her food after eating an entire jar of pickles makes you think it’s been awhile since they’ve had a good meal. You sit down and spoon up a bite of your own food. “So where are you going?” You ask. “If you can tell me.”

Joel looks at Ellie, knowing he trusts you but he wants her consent. She nods and Joel sighs, “we are heading to the Fireflies. They have the means to create a cure for the clickers. Ellie, here, she was bitten-” You freeze, spoon halfway to your mouth, “- relax baby. She’s not infected. She has survived. I need to get there so they can create a cure. We can put this shit behind us.” He says, knowing it’s unlikely but he has to try.

You went to believe Joel, you trust him more than anyone else in this world but it’s still something you need to see for yourself. “Show me.” You demand, turning your eyes towards the girl. She rolls her eyes and chucks her spoon into her bowl, and pulls her sleeve up to show you the ugly teeth marks from where she had been bitten, scarred over but it’s not showing any sign of infection. “Jesus.” You whisper, reaching out and touching the marks. “It could change things.” You murmur, turning and meeting Joel’s eyes. “It could be the beginning of the end.”

Joel nods and Ellie snatches her arm back, covering the marks. “So I gotta keep this brat safe until we get there.” He reaches out to ruffle Ellie’s hair, making her scowl.

“You’re gonna need supplies. I can give you some.” You offer and Joel shakes his head, “no. No. I can’t take your shit, baby.”

You snort and roll your eyes at him. “You can take supplies. I have cleaned out everything for miles around. Plus the canned things are from the garden out back.” You admit, the walled off garden is a godsend for keeping you fed.

“Thanks.” Joel murmurs, feeling guilty about everything and anything while you finish the stew.

“I’m exhausted.” Ellie yawns as she pushes the bowl aside.

“You wanna go sleep? The bed is set up.” You gesture to the cot in the corner that you normally sleep on. It’s the safest place in the compound and you want to keep Ellie safe for Joel. She nods, standing up, “thanks for the stew.” She says and stumbles over to the bed. Taking her boots off and sliding under the sheets, she’s out in minutes.

“We have been traveling for days. Taking turns to sleep and it’s been rough on her.” Joel says, helping you wash out the bowl for Ellie.

“Well you can shelter here for a few days.” You offer. “Get your bearings before you have to set out again.” You know that it had to be a hard road. “If you want to clean up, you can use the bathroom. The shower works and the water tank on top of the building keeps the water pretty warm.” You don’t know when the last time it was that he had enjoyed the little things, but you’re sure a shower and sleep sounds good.

“Can I have a shower now?” He asks and you nod, “of course you can.” The mere thought of standing under water that isn’t freezing has Joel thanking his stars he found you. “I’ll go now baby.” He says, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Thank you.” He murmurs, allowing himself a brief moment of softness, something he hasn’t allowed since outbreak day and losing Sarah. He steps away and makes his way to the bathroom after you point it out.

Hearing the water turn on, you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. Deciding that Joel can take the bedroom, you move into the room and pull the blanket that you had been using to protect the mattress off so you can put some sheets on it. Smirking to yourself as you remember how messy your bed had been on the few nights Joel had stayed over. It had only been a handful of times, but you had cherished it.

Joel showers, washing his hair and the weeks, hell months, of dirt that settled into his skin. He sighs and tilts his head back, just enjoying the shower but he doesn’t take too long, not wanting to be selfish. He stops the water, stepping out and grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. When he walks out, you are placing some sheets on the bed.

You look up and immediately feel your body heat up at the sight of Joel in nothing but a towel. He’s older, hell you are too, but he’s still painfully attractive to you. “Sorry.” You rush out, immediately looking back at the sheets. “I- I wanted to get the bed ready for you.” You explain, grabbing a pillow to put a case on it. “Didn’t figure you’ve had a bed for awhile.”

“No. Not for a long time. Where are you gonna sleep?” He asks, knowing Ellie has taken your usual spot.

“Oh I’ll take the floor.” You shrug and Joel shakes his head.

“No way. You are sleeping here. I’ll take the floor.” He watches you fluster slightly and he bites his lip to stop the smirk on his face. You’re still so damn beautiful. More mature but you wear it well.

“Joel….” You roll your eyes at yourself and huff. “We can share the bed.” You offer, knowing that it will dissolve into an argument if you don’t compromise. “It’s not like we haven’t before.” You murmur softly, glancing back at the bed before turning to him. “You deserve a good night's sleep and it’s safe here.”

Joel nods, “we can share the bed. It’s been a while but we are adults.” He can’t deny his heart pounds a little at the thought of being so close to you. “Nowhere is safe.” He murmurs, standing there in the towel. “I- I’ve missed you.” He whispers, almost scared to say the words out loud.

“You don’t have someone else?” You ask, wanting to touch him but you can’t. It’s been so long and he might have missed the thought of you and moved on. Despite the rules of the world changing, you wouldn’t do that to someone else.

Joel closes his eyes for a moment, thinking of Tess. “I had someone but she…we were each other's life line. It never - we never said anything but it was there. Trying to protect ourselves, I suppose.” He shifts to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I never stopped thinking about you though. I’ve always loved you. You’ve always been in my heart, next to Sarah. My girls.” He smiles, remembering how he used to imagine taking you and Sarah out, getting to spend time with the women that meant the most to him.

You hate that he’s lost someone else. It makes you shift closer to him after setting the pillow on the bed. Reaching out, you can’t help but rub your fingers through his damp, towel dried hair. “Joel…” you close your eyes and take a deep breath. “I love you too. You and Sarah and Tommy. I’ve missed you everyday.”

He turns towards you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you close. He needs to be assured that you are here, with him. He breathes you in and he’s almost complete again. Sarah is missing but you’ve restored a part of his soul that he thought was long gone. “I missed you.” He murmurs, letting you rub your fingers through his hair for another moment until he’s pulling back. His dark eyes focus on you and you lean in, letting him know what you want. He wants it too. He slowly leans forward, pressing his lips to yours.

Kissing Joel is and has always been something magical. You love the softness of his lips, the slightly chapped texture that you had always teased him that you needed to carry chapstick for him. Just to see him pout those lips. It takes a long time to start to build, both of you slow to take it beyond just a press of your lips but you start to press yourself closer and your hand slides up his arm to tangle into his hair.

Joel groans against your mouth, shifting to pull you fully into his lap to straddle him. His tongue slides along your lower lip, requesting more access that you eagerly grant. His hands caress your back, tugging on your shirt so he can touch more of your skin. He’s rougher than the last time he touched you, a consequence of his changed nature, he’s no longer the goofy yet strong man you knew. He’s been hardened by tragedy. “Baby, let me - I want you.” He murmurs against your chin, his hands sliding down to squeeze your ass.

You shudder at the low rumble of his voice, the need that you hear in his tone. “Joel.” You whimper his name when he starts to kiss down your throat, “I- I - you can’t cum inside me.” You stipulate, knowing that despite the twenty years, you haven’t quite hit menopause yet. There is still the risk of him impregnating you.

“That’s okay. I can pull out.” He’s used to pulling out when he was with Tess. “It’s up to you. I don’t have to - we can just lay down.” He promises, not wanting to push you if you don’t want him. “There’s other things we can do.”

“No.” You pull Joel to his feet and look into his eyes as you reach for the towel that is tucked into his hip around his waist. “It’s been twenty goddamn years.” You tell him breathlessly. “I don’t want to wait another minute.” Pulling the tuck free, you let the towel drop to the floor and reach for your own shirt to pull over your head.

His cock is already half hard, eager to touch you again after twenty years. You’ve both changed, emotionally and physically but his cock hardens as you strip down, exposing your tits and then the curls at the apex of your thighs. You kick your clothes aside and Joel surges forward to press his lips to yours again, the fire ignited as his hands squeeze your hips. “Always been so fuckin’ gorgeous.”

You huff against his lips, not believing him for a second but you aren’t going to waste your breath. Instead you wrap your arms around his back and caress his scorching hot skin, unable to believe that you are actually getting to touch the man you have loved for so long again. His tongue slides into your mouth and you moan, shuddering as you feel your nipples harden against his chest.

His hands caress you and he kisses along your jaw, wanting you to be ready to take him. Who knows how long it’s been since you took a cock. He slides his hand down, squeezing your breast and he leans down to wrap his lips around your nipple.

“Fuck!” You gasp out quietly, aware that there is a teenager sleeping in the next room and you don’t want to wake her. Your eyes close and you lean back and let him do what he wants to with your body. Joel has always known how to touch you in a way that makes your body light up and you have missed it.

His cock is heavy between his legs, pressed up against your hip, and he ignores it in favor of hearing you gasp again. He switches to your other breast and his hand slides along your hip until he is cupping your cunt. "Fuck baby." He groans at how wet you already are. His fingers slide through your folds until he finds your clit, rubbing slow circles.

It’s easy to let him take the lead. You would let him do anything to you right now, just happy to have his hands on you. “Joel baby, you need to stop teasing.” You beg, biting back a moan when he presses his finger a little harder against the bundle of nerves. “I’ve dreamed of this for so long.”

He won’t tease you, laying you down on the bed, he kneels between you, cock hard and aching for you. A drop of pre-cum dribbles onto the sheet and his dark eyes meet yours. “You sure you want me?” He asks, knowing he’s a different man than the one you knew. “You need me to stretch you out with my fingers?” He offers, wanting you to be comfortable.You moan, nodding at the idea of having his fingers curling up inside you again. He had always been able to fill you like no other and you want it again. Spreading your legs in invitation, you watch as he stares at your cunt, his cock hanging heavy and you wish that you hadn’t missed out on so much time with him. “Come here, Joel.”

He groans, shifting to hover over you. His lips press against yours and he slides his hand along your thigh until he’s pushing two fingers inside of you. “So fuckin’ tight.” He grunts, pressing his thumb against your clit. He wants you to cum before he pushes inside of you, he knows he won’t last long. It’s been too long since he and Tess - he pushes that thought out of his mind and focuses on you.

“God.” You whimper quietly, bucking your hips up so he can touch you more. Those thick fingers are perfectly curled up and pressing inside you. “Fuck I always loved this.” Reaching down you grab his hand and start rolling your hips down against his hand, fucking yourself on him.

He watches you use his fingers, letting you angle his hand how you need him. He knew your body inside out but that has changed. He knows he needs to let you lead so he can make sure you cum. “Look so gorgeous usin’ my fuckin’ hand.” He groans, using his free hand to squeeze his cock.

“Jesus Joel,” you pant out, forcing your eyes open to watch him watch you. The rougher edges of Joel exciting you and you clench down around his fingers when you feel the drop of precum drip off his cock and fall onto your thigh. Making you moan as you look down and see him holding his cock.

He groans at the look in your eyes, fuck he has missed that. True fucking connection. He and Tess had a good thing but he kept his walls up. He can't do that with you. You bulldoze 'em right down. "Darlin', I need you to cum." He demands softly, wanting to be inside of you. He hisses when your walls grip his fingers and he pumps them harder and deeper inside of you.

It’s been a long time since someone other than yourself made you cum. And with it being Joel, the knowledge of that alone seems to skyrocket your orgasm up. Making you bite you lip to keep quiet while you steam ever closer to cumming with every curl of his fingers. Joel leans over and presses his lips to yours and it pushes you over the edge. Moaning against his lips while you soak his fingers in a wave of your pleasure as your body shakes.

“Fuck baby. You - you are still so fuckin’ beautiful when you cum.” He grunts, working you through it with sopping wet fingers. He pumps his fingers inside of you a few more times until he removes his hand. Wrapping his wet fingers around his cock, he pumps himself and shuffles closer. “You good?” He asks, looking down into your eyes that are now open.

“Yes.” You groan, opening your legs wider and reaching up for him. “I want you inside me Joel, I need to feel you.” Instead of it being twenty years ago, it feels like it was just yesterday that you saw him looking down at you like this, lust and want in his eyes. “Please baby, fuck me.”

He nods, shifting even closer and he swipes the head of his cock through your folds, wetting the head, then he pushes into you. He groans your name, “fuck baby. Still feel fuckin’ incredible.” He pushes deeper, feeling your walls envelop him.

Gasping, you are reminded of how good Joel feels inside you. Eyes closing as you tilt your head back and give a silent cry when he finally pushes all the way inside you. Grinding into you as he rolls his hips around just like used to drive you crazy. He apparently hasn’t forgotten how to fuck you. “J-Joel.”

He loves the way you moan his name. Grinding into you and allowing you a moment to adjust around him. "Need you to - to rub your clit. I'm not gonna last long." He warns you, kissing along your jaw and down your neck when he begins to move his hips. Your walls are wet, hot, and tight. Making him see stars as he sets a slow but deep pace.

Watching him move over you, your hand snakes down between you so that you can start rubbing your clit. Loving how his jaw clenches as he slides in and out of you, filling you like no other ever had regardless of how well they fucked. “Baby, I want-” You pant, listening to him groan. “I need you to cum for me.”

He shakes his head, “you first. Please darlin’. Need you to cum first.” He feels like he needs to make up for not coming back for you, for the pain of losing your baby, for not being there for twenty years. He should’ve been there for you. He hates that he didn’t go back. “Fuck.” He hisses, pushing deep inside of you with every thrust and he’s so fucking close.

Your eyes flutter and widen as your orgasm rushes over you, legs tightening around his hips as your walls clamp down on him. “Joel!” Your wrecked gasp of his name pours from your lips and your fingers dig into his shoulders.

He can barely thrust once more time before he’s pulling out of you, wrapping his fingers around his cock to jerk him until he groans your name. He cums over your stomach and tits, painting you with ropes of hot seed. “Fuccckkkk.” He pants, eyes squeezed shut.

It’s not the same as before, when his liquid head would flood you and fill every crevice inside your body. But it’s still beautiful when he cums, his mouth relaxed and open as he works himself free of every drop. Watching as he finally finishes and pants, hovering over you as his cock softens.

He pants, letting go of his cock and he flips down beside you. “I still fuckin’ love you.” He rasps, cupping your cheek to pull you close so he can press his lips to yours. It’s been twenty years and he still feels as fucking good as he did at 36. You’re incredible.

You close your eyes, savoring the words that you have wanted to hear for so long. From the man you had missed all of these years. “I love you too, baby.” You kiss him again and then turn your head so you look up at the ceiling. “How- when do you have to leave?” You ask, knowing that he has to leave. Ellie is too important.

He sighs, hating the idea of tonight ending. He doesn’t want to leave this bed. He’s lost so much time without you and he knows it’s going to hurt to leave you here, but he has to deliver Ellie. He could possibly come back for you, live the rest of your lives in a world that somewhat resembles what life was like pre-outbreak. Perhaps if Ellie is the path to the cure, this shit will be over soon rather than never. “Tomorrow. We have a lot of miles to cover.” He murmurs, caressing your side when you turn towards him.

You don’t care that his cum is cooling on your body but you reach down for an old shirt on the floor and wipe it up before you toss it back down. “I-“ you bite your lip and your fingers trace a scar on his side. It’s old but it wasn’t there the last time you saw him. “I could come with you?” You offer quietly, unsure of how he would take that. “To get Ellie safe? I have a car.”

“A car?” His eyes widen. The last car he had given out a few weeks ago. He had anticipated making most of the journey by foot unless he could find a horse. “Shit. You’d give me a car?” He asks, “baby. I can’t accept that.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes. He’s torn on taking you with him and leaving you here where it’s safe. He wants to be selfish but he knows you’ll be at risk.

You hear the answer in his words. He doesn’t want you to go. You won’t beg him, you aren’t that girl anymore. You know you can survive without him. “I’ll give you a car.” You confirm. “And as many supplies as you need.” It will hurt to let him go, but Ellie is important.

Joel desperately wants to take you but he can’t be selfish. Also, he knows that one day, it’s gonna be Ellie or him. He can’t decide between you and Ellie. It’s too much. He can’t stand to think about it. You’ll be safe here and he can come back once he’s delivered Ellie safe and sound. “I’ll come back. I swear to you, darlin’. I’m gonna take Ellie where she needs to go and then I’ll come home to you. We can settle down and just live our lives together. Like it should’ve been from the start.” He murmurs, caressing your cheek.

“You better come back.” You choke out, turning and burying your face in his chest. “Just stay tonight. Stay tonight and I’ll give you everything you need in the morning.” You beg softly, closing your eyes and holding him tight.

He wraps his arms around you, breathing you in, and he exhales shakily, knowing that it’s gonna destroy him to leave you again. He prays to whoever the fuck is out there that you are safe. “I’ll come back.” He swears, kissing your hair and he closes his eyes, keeping you close while you both drift off to sleep.

****

You close the trunk, extra gas cans stored along with the crate of food that you had insisted that they take over Joel’s protests. You know that anything can happen out there and you want to give them a chance. Turning to Ellie, you smile when you see the book in her hand, “Keep it.” You tell her. “You’ll need it when he’s snoring.” The joke makes Ellie snicker and Joel rolls his eyes as you look over at him. “Be safe.” You whisper, unsure if you can kiss him goodbye or not in front of the girl.

Joel doesn’t know when he will see you again. Sure, he’s gonna get shit from Ellie but he can’t leave and not say goodbye. “Get in the car.” He orders the teenager who protests. “Get in the goddamn car.” He growls and she huffs, opening the door to get in the vehicle. “I swear to ya, I’m comin’ back to you baby. I ain’t gonna let twenty more years pass. I gotta get her to the Fireflies and then I’ll come back.” He vows, cupping your cheek. Your eyes are full of tears and he hates it, leaning in to softly kiss your lips. “I love you.” He whispers, like it’s a secret between you.

“I love you too.” You promise him, throwing your arms around him and kissing him again like it will be the last time ever. “I always have, Joel Miller, and I always will.” You kiss him once more and then let him go, unshed tears in your eyes and you know it’s better this way. He needs to concentrate on his job. To get Ellie to the Fireflies. “You better come back to me, Joel.”

“I’ll crawl back to you if I gotta, baby.” He promises, kissing your forehead and he forces himself to step away, walking to the car. He gets in and looks to find Ellie smirking at him. “Not a fuckin’ word.” He warns her and she snorts, deciding that it’s best to remain quiet for once. Joel starts the engine and puts the car in drive. Hesitating for a second until he makes himself press the accelerator. He looks at you in the rear view mirror, leaving you behind yet again. He will come back for you though.

****

Ten years is a long time to wait for someone. It’s a long time to stay where you are since this is the last place he had seen you. Everyday his words ring in your ears. ‘I’ll craw back to you if I gotta baby.’ Words that you had taken to heart and everyday you searched for signs of him returning. Everyday your hopes sunk and you retreat into the bed you shared together. Alone.

Ellie finally walks out of the tree line towards the compound she remembers coming across ten years ago. Joel had written down the coordinates just in case he didn’t make it. She trudges along the path to the fence, calling out your name. She hopes you’re still here.

Things don’t change much in this world and as soon as you hear someone shouting, you are grabbing your gun, rushing outside to greet whoever is out there. Realizing that it’s your name being called. “Who’s there?” You shout, still not seeing them yet.

Ellie holds her hand up, well versed in how defensive people are to strangers randomly showing up. “It’s me, Ellie. ‘The not infected but bitten’ girl.” She hopes you remember her. She’s changed in ten years. You appear, face eager as you immediately look past her to see if Joel is with her. She has to swallow the lump in her throat and blink to stop her eyes from stinging. “He’s - he’s not with me.” She announces, keeping her hands raised.

You know that he’s gone. Of course he’s gone. Your lip still trembles and you lower the weapon in your hand. “When?” You choke out, closing your eyes and swaying slightly. He’s dead. Joel is dead.

“A few months ago. I- I’m so sorry. He tried to save me. The Fireflies…they could create the cure but to do that, they had to kill me. Joel wouldn’t let them and killed the surgeon. We went to Jackson to see Tommy, let the QZ take me in so Joel could come back here. He was getting ready to leave. He had his pack ready when - when the daughter of the surgeon found him and killed him. I’m so sorry. I-” Tears stream down her cheeks, still mourning the man she loved as a father.

“Mom?” You turn to see your son standing in the doorway, his own rifle in his hands, his eyes wary and watchful as he looks between you and Ellie, wondering if you made each other cry. “What’s going on?” He demands, sending Ellie a scowl for making his mother upset. He’s always been protective of you since he’s learned to hold a gun.

Ellie’s eyes widen as she takes in the child behind you. He can’t be more than ten years old. Ten years ago Joel left the compound to take Ellie to the Fireflies and this kid…he looks just like Joel. “I- is that - is he Joel’s?” She gasps, unable to look away.

You motion for him to come forward. “Yeah.” You murmur, leaning down to drop a kiss in his head and play with his hair before you look back at Ellie. “He’s Joel’s. Named after him too, but I call him Joey.” You had known right away when he was born you were going to name your son Joel, after the man who helped create him.

Ellie smiles, “that’s fitting.” She looks over at the boy who has his fathers scowl. She doesn’t ask how he was conceived. Joel had given her the talk, albeit the most awkward conversation she ever had with him, and he told her to never let a boy finish inside of her in case she wants to get fuckin’ knocked up. Accidents happen though and Joey is proof of that. “He wanted me to give you this…in case he didn’t make it back to you.” Ellie steps forward, holding out the smashed up watch for you.

You take a deep, shuddering breath as you reach out for the watch. Your fingers shake but you take it. Looking at the broken face and remembering how Joel told you Sarah had fixed it for that last birthday. That he had kept it to remember her by. It was his most precious possession in the world. Your rifle hits the found and you clutch your reminder of Joel close to you, the little boy unsure of what exactly is doing on but he knows it’s not good when his mother cries. “Thank you.” You manage after a moment, looking up at Ellie with a grateful smile. “Thank you for bringing him back to me.”

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #tlou hbo #hbo the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo #hbo tlou #hbo the last of us #joel miller the last of us #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 10 months

Text

Note: request by @andakth. eeek thank you!! I hope you will like this! And to all readers: always feel free to like, reblog and let me know what you thought 🖤

Warnings: angst, hints of suicidal tendencies/destructive behaviour, mention of alcohol, heartbreak, and few degrading insults.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: You had been planning a surprise party for your boyfriend, Sihtric, except he thought you were seeing someone else, as you became secretive and distant.

Word count: 5.5k

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog

'Tell me where you were last night and with who. I will not ask you again!'

*****************

'No, no,' you giggled quietly, 'he's not suspecting a thing, I swear. Did you send the invitations to everyone? Okay, good! Thanks! I know. I can't wait to see his face on his birthday. But I should hang up now before he wonders why I'm out in the garden again at night. Yes, bye, bye!'

You opened the backdoor, walking in as nonchalantly as you could and sunk into the couch, next to your boyfriend.

'What were you doing?' Sihtric asked and pulled you closer. You smiled and pecked his cheek.

'Nothing.'

An awkward silence fell, which rarely happened between the two of you in all those 6 years of being together.

'You've been on your phone a lot lately, no?' he chuckled lightly.

'And?' you frowned.

'Well, it's… I mean… just… nevermind. Are we still on for our date night tomorrow?'

Every month you and Sihtric always had at least one date night. In between work, family and friends, it was sometimes tough to spend some quality time together, and the last thing you wanted was for your relationship to become boring. You'd go do something you both liked and it always ended with some hot and steamy sex afterwards. Tomorrow you'd have dinner at your favourite restaurant, then on to see a newly released movie, which Sihtric picked, and after the movie, or perhaps during the movie if it was boring, you'd make sweet love to him.

'Of course,' you smiled and raked your fingers through his long hair.

'Good,' Sihtric smiled softly and kissed your cheek.

Suddenly your phone blew up with messages, and you quickly locked your screen when Sihtric tried to see who it was.

'Who's texting this late? It's nearly midnight.'

'Oh, it's… some group chat I got dragged into. But hey, I'm going to bed. You joining, babe?'

Sihtric gave you a confused look and felt something was off. You usually never hid your phone from him, but he noticed you did it a lot the past few weeks, and he knows you hate group chats so much, you always leave them immediately. That, and the fact you had been making a lot of phone calls late at night was making him feel uneasy. Sihtric tried to shake the feeling each day and blamed it on him just being tired from another day's work. But he just knew you were keeping something from him.

'I'll come up after I finish my drink.'

'Okay,' you smiled and leaned in to him, tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and trailed your fingers slowly over his cheek to his chin, pushing up slightly to kiss his lips, 'good night, handsome. I love you.'

'Good night, honey, love you too.'

'You better,' you grinned, 'don't stay up too late.'

*************

You: babe I'm so sorry

You: we have to cancel date night :(

You: I suddenly have to work longer tonight

Sihtric: for real?

Sihtric: babyyyyyy

Sihtric: :(

You: I'm so sorry sweetie I promise I'll make it up

Sihtric: what time are you off? We can still get a drink maybe?

Shit, you thought, he's not letting it go easy. You didn't have to work overtime, but Uhtred texted you and wrote it was urgent, as it was for Sihtric's surprise party in two weeks. Sihtric loved this fancy Asian place downtown, and Finan had just found out that, if you paid enough, they'd do catering at home, but it needed to be decided tonight if you wanted to get it all fixed in time.

You: I'm sorry babe but I don't know. There's some issues with the computers… data is lost and all that

Sihtric: for fuck sakes :'(

Sihtric: well… text me when you're done okay? I don't want you taking the bus back home late at night, I'll come pick you up

You: ohh, my private driver makes an appearance again?

Sihtric: I'll give you a private ride later, and I'm not talking about my car baby

You: you're already driving me wild ;)

Sihtric: … you just killed the mood

You giggled and kicked your feet stupidly. He still had that effect on you after all those years. And you knew for a fact that Sihtric was laughing out loud back home now, he loved your stupid puns. And god, how you loved that boy. You were both simply smitten, from the start all up until now, it was probably sickening to some people.

You hated having to cancel your night with Sihtric, but you knew he was going to lose his mind when his birthday arrived. You, Finan, Uhtred and Osferth had been planning a surprise party for months already, but now that date got closer, it started to become trickier to get things done. Uhtred had arranged the invitations and sent them out to everyone, Finan had looked into the food, and you were making sure to get a deal with that restaurant tonight, while Osferth had been using his connections to get a good dj to play at the party for a decent price. You were in charge of the decorations and simply the person to contact if anyone had a question. It had been hard to keep it hidden from Sihtric, making you a little more secretive and even distant at times as there was so much to take care of, and last night was a close call when he almost saw the group chat.

***************

The meeting at the restaurant had taken up most of the night. By the time you were done it was already past midnight and you knew Sihtric would be asleep already, so you didn't bother to take your phone out to text him. Therefore you also had no idea Sihtric had been texting and calling you for a few hours already. Uhtred insisted on driving you home and dropped you off at the corner of your street. You locked the front door behind you and tried to be as quiet as possible, so you wouldn't wake up Sihtric.

'Where have you been?'

Sihtric's low voice startled you and you dropped your keys. The house was completely dark so you expected him in bed.

'Fuck! Babe, you scared the hell out of me! Why are you sitting in the dark?'

You chuckled lightly at your scare while kicking your shoes off and switched on a light.

'You didn't answer my question.'

You didn't recognize the look on his face or the tone in his voice. And to be honest, it frightened you a little. Sihtric was always impressive looking. Tall, muscular, a neck tattoo and a few finger tattoos, a couple of scars graced his stunning face and all that combined with his dark, shoulder length, permanently messy looking hair made him the typical handsome mysterious guy. But you knew about his troubled past and also knew Sihtric was self destructive if he'd spiral out of control. Since he got together with you it had overall had gone really well. But you couldn't place the energy he gave you right now and it worried you.

'Sihtric, are you okay?'

'You tell me.'

'H-have you been drinking?' you asked cautiously as you walked over to him.

'Answer my fucking question!' he suddenly snapped, for the first time in all those years he raised his voice at you in anger.

'Sihtric, what the hell is going on wi-'

'I called your work an hour ago,' he interrupted, awfully calm again and your stomach dropped, 'they told me you weren't there and that you didn't work any overtime tonight. So I texted and I called you, worried sick about your whereabouts,' he scoffed, 'and you didn't answer, or even read anything. And then you show up out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, perfectly happy.'

'Babe, I… I went for a drink with the boys,' you half lied.

Sihtric nodded and clicked his tongue, 'while you were supposed to go out with me? Okay.'

He got up from the couch and walked past you, not even looking into your eyes and he said, 'your boss also told me you haven't worked any overtime at all these past few weeks.' And he made his way upstairs.

'Sihtric, I'm sorry, I-' you got interrupted by the bedroom door being slammed shut loudly.

************

You expected that the next day would be better, Sihtric just had to sleep it off. He could never stay mad at you, even if this was the angriest he had been with you.

It was Saturday morning when the sun woke you up. You felt Sihtric was still in bed so, as usual, you nestled against his side and pecked his cheek sleepily to wake him up. Sihtric loved it when you did that, always humming softly with a smile on his face when you planted soft kisses all over him before you dozed off in his arms again.

'Hey, pretty boy,' you whispered when he blinked sleepily, and you wrapped an arm around him to get closer, but he quickly brushed your arm away and abruptly got out of bed.

'Baby?' you called after him, half awake, 'where are you going? It's still early and it's the weekend. Want you in bed with me, love.'

Sihtric never replied and stomped down the stairs. You didn't understand, but quickly dozed off again.

When you went downstairs, hours later, you found Sihtric asleep on the couch. You frowned at the sight of your breathtaking man, but figured that maybe he just couldn't sleep anymore when you had kissed him awake so he had gone downstairs, only to still be taken by sleep. You woke him up when you had made him breakfast, which he reluctantly seemed to eat as he sat across from you at the kitchen table. Another sign that something was wrong, because Sihtric loved it when you made him breakfast, yet now he could barely swallow it down.

'Honey, what is going on?'

'Nothing,' he said curtly.

'Babe, you haven't been yourself-'

Sihtric spooked you as he smashed his cup down on the wooden table, and you looked at him with big eyes.

'Uhtred said he never saw you last night,' he spat.

'what?'

'Finan said he never saw you last night.'

You felt your cheeks heat up as he spoke. Obviously he had asked the boys if they had seen you last night, as it was odd for you to grab a drink with them without inviting Sihtric, and naturally, the boys had denied seeing you as they thought he was suspecting something about the surprise party. So they all made up alibis and covered up their meeting with you at the restaurant. And both alibis you had given Sihtric, where now known as lies to him.

'And, guess what,' Sihtric chuckled lightly but insincere, 'Osferth said he never saw you either.'

He sat back and tilted his head slightly, licking his lips as he crossed his arms and stared at you, waiting for another lie to come out of your mouth. You contemplated telling him the truth, but you were so close to his birthday now, you didn't want to ruin everything you had all worked on for so long. He would get over this in a day or two.

'What are you trying to say, Sihtric?'

'Where were you last night?'

'I already told you.'

'No,' he raised his voice, 'tell me where you were last night and with who. I will not ask you again!'

'Are you accusing me of something here?'

You watched Sihtric suddenly get up. He took his car keys and slipped on his shoes, then he slammed the front door behind him without saying another word. You sat shocked and bewildered in your quiet home and you immediately texted the three men.

You: guys, serious fucking problem here

You: Sihtric found out both reasons I gave him for not being home last night are a lie

Finan: aye I thought it was odd he asked us if we had seen you

Uhtred: what did he say?

Osferth: I'm sorry… I didn't know you told him you had a drink with us

You: no it's not your fault, I never expected Sihtric to become suspicious enough to ask you guys

You: but he has been pissed off since last night

You: he just stormed out the door

Finan: he just texted me

Finan: forwarded message:

Sihtric: are you home? I need a fucking drink.

You: fuck…

Finan: what did you tell him?

You: nothing, I couldn't come up with another lie…

Uhtred: Finan, let us know what he says. We can't let this spiral out of control.

Osferth: I think we just have to be honest to him…

Uhtred: no!

Finan: no!!!!!

You: I considered it but we're so close to the party…

Uhtred: we have to keep this up for a few more days, okay?

You: I agree. Please keep an eye on him, Finan, text me if there's something I need to know.

Osferth: okay, but it doesn't feel right

Finan: not a word to Sihtric! And I will keep you updated lady

*************

Finan had informed everyone that Sihtric hadn't said a single things about his struggle with you. Sihtric claimed he needed a drink because work had been stressing him out, and when Finan left the pub, Sihtric left with him and he swore he saw Sihtric get into his car, sober enough to drive as he only had one beer. You all sighed in relief. It was probably not as bad as you feared it was and you weren't really worried about him when he didn't show up after Finan told you he had left the pub over an hour ago already. You assumed he had gone for a walk near the river, which he often did to clear his head. But when it was already after dinner time, and he still wasn't home, you tried to call him. When he didn't answer, you texted him.

You: hey love, coming home soon?

Hours passed and you were simply left on read. You were about to go to bed, feeling slightly sick because you couldn't shake the feeling things were not okay, until Sihtric suddenly got home.

'Sihtric?' you jumped up from the couch, 'where have you been? I was so worried about you, babe.'

He didn't look at you and then you saw the state he was in. Completely drunk, smelling like cigarettes and alcohol and he simply looked like shit, albeit still handsome. But then you wondered how the hell he got home.

'Hey… hey, did you drive home like this?' you asked firmly, but he ignored you, 'Sihtric!'

'No!' he snarled, struggling to take off his shoes before he stumbled up the stairs, barely able to stand on his legs, he climbed into bed, not even bothering to change his clothes before he passed out. Tonight you slept on the couch. And you slept separately for a few more days after that.

***************

There were only 2 days left until the party now, and the past few days had been a struggle. You both had been working during the day and only saw each other during dinner. Or at least, you hoped. Sihtric had no desire to eat with you, so each evening he took his plate and ate in front of the tv. Whenever you joined him he would simply ignore you and he barely spoke to you. And you had enough of it.

'We're going to talk about this now.'

'There's nothing to talk about,' he huffed.

'Clearly there is!'

'If you want to talk, you can call your lover or whoever the fuck you've been texting and calling day and night. Don't think I never noticed how you're on your phone when you thought I was asleep. I hear you giggle and whisper in the garden at night, and you became distant around the same time too. I'm not a fucking idiot.'

'I'm sorry, what? You… you don't actually think I'm… I'm cheating or something? Babe, after all these years?' You were heartbroken at his accusation, and you wanted to come clean so badly but it was only two more sleeps. Two more mornings until he'd understand it all.

'I don't even care if you are seeing someone else,' he shrugged, but clearly hurt, 'if my cock's not good enough for you anymore then go, leave, find someone else.'

'You… you got this all wrong.'

'Stop being such a lying bitch!' Sihtric suddenly yelled.

You teared up as he broke in tears and he sprinted up the stairs, only to storm out the door several minutes later, once again without saying another word to you.

************

You: Sihtric, please, come back home! Why did you take most of your clothes?! Where are you??????

You: I swear it's not what you think

You: I promise you will understand it soon

Sihtric: I understand it perfectly clear

You: babe where are you?!

Sihtric: far away from you love

Sihtric: so don't worry about me

Sihtric: you can do your thing now baby

Sihtric: go whore around like you've been doing already

Sihtric: enough men will enjoy a pretty little thing like you

Sihtric: so have fun baby girl because I'm done

Sihtric: we're done.

You: Sihtric no please listen

Sihtric: don't ever fucking text me again.

You: SIHTRIC

You: NO WAIT!!!

You: BABY CALL ME!!! PLEASE!!

Your hands were shaking and then you suddenly saw your last message was not delivered: you had been blocked. You called Uhtred as you sobbed uncontrollably, but he barely understood you on the phone so he said he'd come over.

***************

'He left me!' you sobbed as you nearly fell in Uhtred's arms.

'What?'

'He broke up with me, he t-took his clothes and he- he blocked my number,' you broke down again and couldn't get out another word.

'Sihtric broke up with you?! Why?'

'He- he thinks I'm cheating…'

'What? No! Fuck!'

Uhtred sat you down on your couch and called Sihtric, putting him on speaker so you could hear him too.

'Uhtred?' Sihtric's voice sounded hoarse, clearly he had been crying.

'Sihtric, where are you?'

'On my way to Finan… if he's home.'

'You come back home, now. Right now, Sihtric,' Uhtred said sternly, 'what the hell are you thinking? Breaking up with you girl? For what?'

'She's fucking cheating on me, Uhtred!' his voice made you cry again, you had never heard him sound this broken and angry before, but you kept as quiet as possible.

'No, Sihtric, go home and meet me there. Now!'

'No! I never have to see that bitch again!'

'You better get back here or I will beat the shit out of you when I find you.'

'Fuck you.'

'Sihtric! Listen to me!' Uhtred yelled at his phone, 'she has been talking and texting these past few weeks with me! She's planning a surprise party for your birthday, you fucking idiot!'

Silence. Which lasted for seconds and you held your breath.

'What?' Sihtric asked.

'She's been organising a surprise party for you. Of course she couldn't tell you who she was calling with. And we had to call that late at night in the hopes you would be asleep or simply not notice it!'

'You called her?'

'He did!' you suddenly yelled out, 'baby, please! Come back!' you cried.

'Oh. Oh, he's with you now?' Sihtric's voice became slightly higher, mocking as he felt betrayed, 'you've been calling and texting one of my best friends behind my back?'

'What?!' you yelled.

'For your party!' Uhtred shouted.

'Yeah, sure. Okay. Hey, have fun together, yeah? Go fuck yourselves.'

Sihtric broke the connection and you looked at Uhtred in disbelief.

'He thinks you're… cheating with me?' Uhtred said, shocked, not knowing what to do.

You started sobbing again and Uhtred called Finan, who immediately came over to your home. In all the confusion and stress Uhtred forgot to mention that Sihtric was on his way to Finan. So when Sihtric rang Finan's doorbell, no one opened up. Then he went to Osferth, who hadn't seen the groupchat yet which explained what was going on, and he happily let Sihtric in.

'She's been cheating?'

'With Uhtred!' Sihtric said as he downed another few shots. He couldn't numb himself fast enough, and Osferth had all kinds of alcohol for that.

'Uhtred?' Osferth frowned, confused. Osferth was a good guy, but a little naive, he had no idea this was all connected to the surprise party, and he genuinely thought you were cheating on Sihtric for amoment.

'The bitch,' Sihtric spat, 'I gave her everything! Everything! My entire fucking heart. My life. And she just… Fuck!' he kicked Osferth's table in anger, causing the tiny, empty liquor bottles to fall over, and he broke down in tears. 'I don't know what to do,' Sihtric cried, face buried in his hands, 'I love her so much. I can't seem to breathe… I can't fucking breathe without her. I lost everything… it's… I just want to die.'

'No, no,' Osferth said quickly, wrapping his arms around Sihtric's shocking shoulders, 'you… you have to talk to her. She… she loves you. I don't understand.'

'I just want to fucking die,' Sihtric cried in Osferth's arms.

*************

'Are ye fucking joking?' Finan said, bewildered once he heard the whole story from you and Uhtred. He took out his phone and called Sihtric.

'Yeah?' Sihtric picked up, clearly drunk.

'Sihtric! Ye come back home, now. This has been a misunderstanding.'

'Y-you're with… with the t-traitor and that.. That w..whore?' he slurred heavily.

'Aye, ye bastard! No one's cheating on ye!'

'Sihtric, come home, please!' you yelled.

'Are you with.. With them, Fin? Are… you defending them?' Sihtric chuckled drunk, 'oh… oh you're fu--fucking her too, huh?' Sihtric giggled, 'I knew it… you… you fucking… Irish..fucking…prick,' he belched, 'fuck…. youuuu! And fuck that stupid bitch! And fuck.. Fuck all of you!'

'No, ye donkey!' Finan snarled, 'we're planning a surp-

'Hey, hey, Osferth!' Sihtric slurred to his friend next to him, 'Finan's …do…doing her too!' he laughed.

'Sihtric!' Uhtred snapped.

But Sihtric hung up.

*************

'I'm going over to Osferth,' you sniffled, 'he has to be at his place.'

'No, it will cause more harm,' Uhtred warned you.

'Aye, he's drunk as hell, there's no talking with him now. Let him sober up.'

*********

'What? Finan?' Osferth frowned.

'I… I could've known… I saw a group chat… she's in a groupchat with all of them.'

'A group chat?'

'Yeah,' Sihtric nodded slowly, nearly cross eyed from the amount of alcohol in his system, 'I bet it's… a group fuck… Osferth?'

'Yes?'

'Are you in- in that chat?'

'What?'

'Are y-you… fucking her… her too?'

Suddenly poor Osferth made the connection. Sihtric had seen the late night group texts from the birthday chat.

'Oh, heavens. Sihtric, you need to sleep.'

'I need to die,' Sihtric chuckled, which slowly faded into a pained expression and a trembling lip. Sihtric pushed his hands in his hair and started to cry, 'I feel so fucking empty. My heart hurts… my… my chest aches so much and I can't breathe. I don't… I don't want to live like this.'

'Go sleep this off, we will talk tomorrow.'

Osferth helped Sihtric over to his couch, and he waited until he was sure Sihtric was asleep. Then he took out his own phone.

Osferth: Sihtric is asleep on my couch

Osferth: he thinks you're all sleeping together

Finan: fucking dickhead he is

Uhtred: what did you tell him?

You: is he okay? Please tell me if he is okay? Is he hurt?

Osferth: well he's heartbroken, so I suppose he is hurt…

You: please keep an eye on him, Osferth, I don't know what he is capable of right now…

Osferth: and I didn't tell him anything

Osferth: I actually only just made the connection myself

Osferth: he thinks this group chat is just a chat to have group… sex

You: what!?

Uhtred: does he know you're in it?

Osferth: no…

Finan: that explains why he thinks this is a sex group chat

Finan: he wouldn't think so anymore if ye told him you're in it

Osferth: prick

You: guys shut the fuck up

You: I need Sihtric back… I can't live without him

Uhtred: Finan and I are staying over here tonight, you get Sihtric here as soon as he wakes up!

Osferth: I will, I promise.

***********

Sihtric had woken up around noon, with a huge hangover. Osferth told him to shower and put on some clean clothes while he would make something to eat. Reluctantly, Sihtric did as he was told. In the shower he remembered bits and pieces of the previous day, and he started crying his heart out. When he joined Osferth at his kitchen table, he sniffled as he fought his nonstop tears.

'I am driving you over after you eat, you need to talk to her. And eat!'

'I can't face her,' Sihtric said, barely louder than a whisper, wiping away a tear as another already rolled down, 'I can't even think of her. It hurts too much. I… I thought,' he let out a sob, 'I was going to propose after my birthday.'

'And you still will!' Osferth said, 'you will talk to her, and I promise you, everything will be fine. You just need to listen and hear us out.'

'Please don't make me see her,' he cried softly, 'don't do that to me.'

'Eat!'

*********

You had barely slept. You sat on the couch, Finan and Uhtred were in the kitchen making lunch. Your doorbell rang and you jumped up. You opened the door and the hope on your face of seeing Sihtric slipped off like a mask. It was the Asian catering, 5 chefs strong with an insane amount of food loaded in their truck. The party wouldn't start until 6 in the evening, but it was a task to prepare all the food, so the deal was they'd arrive around noon to set everything up and prep.

'Oh, dear god,' you murmured. Uhtred and Finan came running, thinking it was Sihtric, and they froze at the sight of the cooks. You couldn't turn them away now, you had paid a lot of money for it and you had to eat something after all. Make the most of it.

***********

Osferth couldn't stand Sihtric's whining anymore.

'Everything is so dark today,' Sihtric sniffled, 'even the weather. As if the sun has left us, because he fell in love with another planet and wanted to warm her.'

Osferth rolled his eyes. Sihtric was like a heartbroken poet, and a bad one at that.

'My heart is as empty as my casket, which is expecting my broken soul soon,' he sniffled again, 'I feel as if she was a rose. The prettiest rose in the garden. And by her beauty I was blinded, and didn't see her thorns. Until I found myself bleeding, completely empty, for she had stung me.'

'Jesus Christ, Sihtric, enough!' Osferth groaned, 'Listen!'

And so Osferth explained everything, showing him the group chat, showing him the texts with the dj, everything. He wanted Sihtric to hear it all from you, but he simply couldn't hear another word out of Sihtric's mouth.

***********

Osferth: I told him everything

You: what?! What did he say?

Osferth: I wanted him to hear it from you but he wouldn't shut up and kept crying

You: oh no my poor baby

Finan: great, ye got her crying too now….

Osferth: I'm sorry… I will be over within an hour

Uhtred: with Sihtric?

Finan: Osferth??????

You: will Sihtric come along??

Uhtred: Osferth?!

Osferth had already locked his phone again as he got distracted by Sihtric, who asked with a trembling voice and trembling hands how on earth you could unblock a number.

*******

Sihtric: baby!

Sihtric: I'm so sorry!! I love you!!!

Sihtric: please answer me please!!

Sihtric: I've been so fucking stupid baby please answer me!!!

You didn't have your phone on you as you had 5 chefs running around your house and garden who asked where they could set everything up. You explained to them that there wouldn't be a party anymore, but that they were free to prepare everything, as it was paid for already. They frowned but continued with their work. To your shock, the DJ also arrived to set his stuff up, and he was too busy to hear you out and you felt like crying. Again. Which you did. Until the doorbell rang again. With tears rolling down your cheeks you opened the door.

'Osferth?' you sobbed.

'Oh, sweetheart,' Osferth mumbled when he saw the state you were in, 'I-'

'Baby!' Sihtric shouted, desperately and in tears as he shoved Osferth aside, mid sentence, to run up to you and pull you in his arms.

'Sihtric!' you cried, your face buried in his chest as you clung onto him.

'I'm so sorry, babe, I'm so fucking sorry. Osferth told me everything this morning and showed me all the texts. I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry, for everything I've said and done.'

'I'm sorry too,' you sobbed, 'I didn't see how upset you were, I just ignored it. Simply because I was selfish and didn't want to spoil my surprise for you. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. I love you so much.'

You pulled back to look into his red and teary eyes. Sihtric cupped your cheeks with his trembling hands and panic kissed you all over your face.

'I love you. So fucking much. I… I don't deserve it but… p-please, will you take me back, my love?'

'Sihtric,' you sniffled, taking his face in your hands, 'as far as I'm concerned we never broke up. You weren't thinking straight, you were drunk and I was hiding all this from you. You're still mine. You have always been mine. I never want to sleep another night with you.'

'Neither do I,' Sihtric said and he pecked your lips quickly in between words, 'I'm so sorry. I love you, baby, I love you so much.'

'I love you too,' you chuckled lightly through your tears and kissed his lips.

Finan and Uhtred had also made their way to the door and watched how you kissed each other as if you had been separated for a lifetime.

'I'm glad this is solved,' Finan whispered to Uhtred, 'but I won't lie… it was nice to see them not devouring each other for once, aye?'

Uhtred snorted and poked Finan with his elbow as a warning. Then both men cleared their throats, to which you reluctantly broke the kiss and turned to look at them.

'Are we good?' Uhtred asked Sihtric, who kept an arm circled around you and he held his hand out to Uhtred. Uhtred smiled and accepted the gesture.

'We're good,' Sihtric said, 'and I'm sorry. Finan?'

'Aye?'

'Are we good?'

'That depends. Ye going to call me an Irish fucking prick again?'

'That depends,' Sihtric smiled. Finan pulled him in for a hug, squeezing you as well and quickly Uhtred and Osferth joined in.

'I think we should add Sihtric to the group chat and change the title to group hug,' you said.

All men laughed at your joke and decided to give you a moment with Sihtric, to really talk things out. You thanked them and took Sihtric upstairs to talk in private.

And you talked. You talked for at least an hour to clear everything up and to understand each other's feelings. And shortly after that, Sihtric had pulled you in bed with him, where he was quick to remove your clothes as you took off his. And you made love. Gentle, sweet and slow love, savouring every inch of each other with your lips. And then you cuddled. You kissed each other endlessly, everywhere you possibly could. Until you had both recovered, and went for another round. And this time you couldn't call it love making. This time you simply fucked. You fucked hard, rough, passionate and loud, like wild animals.

And when you were done, you once again cuddled, kissed and whispered sweet nothings to each other until you both recovered and got dressed again. And completely oblivious, and blinded by love, you walked down the stairs, Sihtric behind you as he held your hand, and you both got the biggest scare of your lives when suddenly your entire living room was filled with friends and family as they jumped up and shouted 'surprise!'.

There would be a party after all.

And Sihtric couldn't believe you had put this all together, and even cried with happiness when he got to eat his favourite dish from his favourite restaurant. Everyone got drunk, except for you and Sihtric. You had to make sure no one would grab their car keys while drunk, and Sihtric couldn't stand the idea of alcohol anymore after his hangover earlier that day. You both danced all night, his hands never left your body and your lips were almost constantly pressed on his skin. You danced until your legs hurt, completely sober and completely drunk in love.

And many years later, you'd tell this story to your children, every year on your husband's birthday. You'd both laugh about it when you recall the memory, and ever since that day, it became a tradition to have sex twice on the night of his birthday.

And every year Sihtric would tell you that undressing you was more exciting than unwrapping any of the presents he had received earlier that day.

#sihtric x you #sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #tlk #sihtric #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fic #modern!sihtric

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 9 months

Text

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 5.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M (Mature Content)

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: Outright overly dramatic, yet tasteful and sophisticated descriptions of sex between two consenting adults with an unspecified age difference between them, no mentions of/or absence of sexual protection implied or expressed, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay

Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Tag List: @andimoon @his-mochi-cheeks

“Noona, I think we like each other.”

You felt the deafening silence as every single voice of reason and each and every alarm bell inside of you went still when you kissed him.

You felt the lighting strike hit close enough this time to send a bolt straight through your chest when you kissed him.

Somewhere deep inside your chest, somewhere tiny and somewhere hidden, you were vibrating. You felt the steady hum of it.

Baekhyun’s lips were so soft and when you pressed your own into his, you felt the smallest movement from him in response. His response was gentle and yielding. He gave in to you so easily as you kissed him. You took what you wanted and he gave it to you.

Baekhyun’s face was still. His eyes took a little bit longer to open and when he did his heavy eyelids resisted. With pink cheeks and lips still wet from the kiss, he lazily pulled his heavy eyes open, you were caught again in the warm deep brown of them. The hands that had held your face earlier had broken the contact with the warm skin of your face when you had kissed him. His hands were frozen now, lifted in their former place but the man was too quiet, too stunned, too motionless in the still and quiet moments after you had kissed him.

After a few seconds he closed his eyes and drew in a breath of air that stuttered on its way in and out again and he laid the palm of his hand over his chest, lightly setting it just over his chestplate, giving a slow and gentle and almost undetectable tap, tap as he breathed through it.

It only took you a few moments of sitting in the aftermath but slowly, and one by one, your thoughts and your many worries came back to you. You gave your head a tiny shake and you rolled your eyeballs around inside of your head and you could feel each one slipping its fingers running them around your rim. You were vibrating. You could feel the hum when you lifted a hand to your own chest. It wasn’t your heart beat nor your breathing.

You’d done it. The President’s son. Your charge that had been carefully placed into your hands to care and to nurture and help grow — you’d done it. Each and every carefully grown, polished, expertly placed year of your career and every single painstakingly ripped and clawed your way through the competition milestone and award you had bled for, and every single sleepless night; every single soul sucking week after week, month after month so you could get to the top; every single fucking thing you have spent your entire life working toward — you could feel the thoughts racing and with each new realization that hit you like a train your breathing puffed out faster and harder from your chest and you had to close your eyes through it. You had to turn your head away from him and you lifted a trembling hand to your face, covering your lips with the palm of your hand.

“Shit,” you said from below the skin of your hand.

Baekhyun must have been alerted by your trembling hands, or maybe it was the very same swear word uttered in nearly the exact same tone as he had used to say it this morning.

You fucked up. Just as he declared that he had fucked up and there was simply no taking this back and rewinding and pretending like it had never happened.

“Hey-” his voice called from somewhere close to you, “hey, hey, no. No, don't say that,” he was whispering beside you. You felt his arms then. He was standing up it seemed and you felt a strong and steady warmth coating you as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders, bringing a warm hand up over the top of your head. You smelled him everywhere in this and you found yourself pressed inside the firmness of his chest as he held you so tightly in his arms.

“No, this feels terrible, is that what I said to you after I kissed you? Jesus, I get it. Please don't say that.” His arms were squeezing you tighter and you found movement impossible and the oxygen in here pressed up against the white t-shirt he wore with the heat and the warmth of his chest under the thin fabric. You had a hand in here as well, thoroughly squished by the tightness of the hold he kept on you and you had to breathe, you had to wiggle your hand, pushing against him slightly, anything so he could loosen the hold just a little bit.

“I won’t let you go until you take it back,” he said with an impossible tightening of his arms around you. You were going to die right here smothered between this man’s pectoral muscles. There was some bargaining taking place in the back of your mind. There was some acceptance happening back there as well as you weighed the two deaths. This way: smothered by his boobs, which actually had been featured in one of your more recent late night fantasies, certainly seemed preferable to the vomit-covered splatter fall to the pavement you’d contemplated earlier. Plus he did smell very nice. You could think of worse ways to go.

You did your best to nod your head. He felt the movement and responded by relaxing his body around you just enough, just enough for you to pull your head out of his shirt and lift your face and take deep satisfying cooling breath from the fresh air over your head. Your hand was still pinned right beside your face, a kind of zombie claw coming up out of the ground.

“Let me go—hmm?” you pleaded in a whisper.

“But, you’ll run away,” he replied with a severe pout.

“I don't have anywhere to run. I live here.” It felt like a weird hostage negotiation.

“You’ll find somewhere to run, you are very crafty and very smart.”

“Baek-hyun,” you squeaked out the words and he looked down at you, still very much wrapped around you, extremely close and with one of the most serious expressions set very deep inside his brown eyes. “It’s impossible,” you whispered into the tiny space between your lips and his lips.

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking inside that beautiful head of yours, I need you to stop. It’s not impossible. It’s not even close to impossible. Time travel is impossible. Moving things with your mind, that is impossible— I tried. This is just two people that like each other, nothing could be more possible than that.” His eyes searched over your face as he spoke and his lips hung open as he exhaled his breath over your lips again. The heat that traveled over your face had you gasping for air again, even though he had loosened his hold on you, you felt that pull into him again as he spoke passionately about what you were still pretty sure could not be really happening.

“Noona,” you saw the effects of your most recent negative thoughts roll over his back as he did his absolute best to push them away. His eyes sunk closed and you saw the furrow of his eyebrows as a somewhat pained expression landed on his pretty face. You didn’t like it. From this close up, you did not like to see him like this, in any state of unhappiness.

“Noona,” he repeated again as he inhaled once more, “I think my feelings are hurt.” He gave your whole body the smallest shake of complaint. You were blindsided by how cute it was and you felt your flimsy resolve shake at its foundation with the tiny earthquake he just gave you.

His eyes glanced down at you for a second and you looked up at him with that same look of uncertainty as you had before. This time you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and you bit down lightly, not hard enough to cause any pain but definitely hard enough for something like a smile to break though.

You heard a soft whine from the back of his throat now, and he shook you again. His arms appeared to be linked tightly around your back. It was evident that you weren’t going anywhere until you both had come to some sort of agreement. You heard a deeply dissatisfied sigh from way deep down in the pit of his stomach and you only had so much you could take before you felt yourself crumble in his arms.

“Baekhyun, what? What do you want me to do about your hurt feelings?”

“I don't know. Make it better,” he grumbled. You closed your eyes and bit down on your lip again.

“How can I?” You asked under your breath and when you opened your eyes he was watching your lips as you spoke. Reading your lips whisper. Reading your struggles and your frustration in them. “How can I, how can we—” the words trailed off and their meaning hung heavy on your tongue.

Impossible.

You would lose everything.

“We just do,” he whispered back into the space that kept you both separated. “You do, and I do and we just—” He shook his head back and forth ever so slightly. There were no answers here.

Only miracles.

His lips still held a pout. His pink bottom lip stuck out just enough for the upset to still be evident on his face. The impossible situation you’d drawn attention to and his frustration and hurt feelings and all of it sat there dripping off his bottom lip.

You looked up and you leaned in. Your own mouth opened over his lips and you pulled him into you. You heard the sounds from his throat, low and groaning at the sudden kiss. Again, only this time you kissed him for the upset. To rid him of that silly storm cloud that had settled over his head with your talk of impossibilities and your thoughts of doom and gloom.

Baekhyun’s lips parted for you and as he received your kiss he offered his own, pushing himself further into you, you felt the tip of his tongue slipping along the softness of your lip, painting along the edge of your teeth, and the suction of his lips as he pulled lightly against the flesh, you felt him bite down with his teeth as he did it.

You couldn't even remember the last time someone kissed you this way, as if under a spell in which every insatiable human urge needed to be satisfied at once.

With every gasp for air there was an undeniable need for more and with every touch of his hands over your skin, every wandering of your own hands over the smoothness of his chest, you came to realize a point of no return was quickly coming to a head and if you were going to stop it, you should act now.

You had to pull away from his mouth, and you had to do it for the sake of your own sanity. You left him with his heaving breaths and his lips hung open and all of that body heat and firmness and tension that you felt all over his body and you had to physically extract yourself from it. It took considerable effort and after a few seconds of feeling all of that cool air over your skin, your mind finally began to grab ahold of itself enough for just a few rational thoughts to finally sink their way inside.

This day; this evening, it snowballed with incredible speed. You felt blindsided by it.

You must have both recognized the danger. Baekhyun leaned against the countertop with his eyes still closed and his breathing finally settling, and you were still close enough to reach out and touch him, but you no longer found yourself trapped in his arms.

You inhaled and exhaled a deep breath and the sound of it pulled his eyes to you for a moment. After a few breaths of his own you saw the smile that appeared on his lips. That pretty smile that touched his eyes and overcame him for just a second. He had to close his eyes for it. It was contagious and you felt your own lips pulling into a small smile, you exhaled a small chuckle as you shook your head back and forth.

“Are you still upset with me?” You knew he wasn’t. You still had to ask.

You didn’t want him to ever be upset with you. That feeling was so strong and overwhelmingly certain inside of you. You tilted your head with the small question you asked him and he watched you with wide blinking eyes and one of his eyebrows bounced up and back down again. His smile was back only he had quit looking at you in favor of throwing his head back and rolling his eyes over the ceiling of your kitchen.

That smile felt like a drug. The small chuckle that burst from his chest was even better and when his tongue slipped out of the corner of his mouth and he bit down on his lip and his eyes slipped once again over to you. The look in his eyes was something you hadn’t been prepared for. You knew this look and it was only trouble. There was longing in there. There was desire and there was lust and there was only one destination with him looking at you this way.

Emergency evasive actions had to be taken for both of your sake if not for the mere fact that you had only just confessed your feelings to each other less than an hour ago and you refused to allow your insane attraction to the man get the better of you.

When you dropped the eye contact and cleared your throat, in some attempt to reel yourself in, you heard him make a sound and from the back of his throat. It was half of a throat clearing, half of some animalistic growl that you tried your best to ignore and you reached for the half full beer can. You put it to your lips, poured the liquid into your mouth, and you tasted nothing of what you swallowed but at least it was something to do with your hands. At least it was a welcomed distraction from the man who at this very moment was doing the exact same thing with his beer. He’d emptied his and you watched him wander from this dangerous spot beside you around to your kitchen trash can into which he noisily dropped the can. It clanked to the bottom and at the same time you heard the boom of another thunderclap from that storm that still raged outside.

It was bound to rain all night long. You wondered if you’d be able to get any sleep tonight.

You noticed he wasn’t reaching for another beer and you figured it was because he knew he would need to drive home at some point.

Your mind wandered through the events of the evening, landing curiously somewhere at the beginning when he first showed up.

What had he told you then?

“Why didn’t you park out front again?” You remembered he’d mentioned a truck, and something else was tickling at your mind as you looked at the clock and saw it nearing 1am now. “Where did you say you parked your car?”

You were asking him real questions now and he gave his head a tiny shake as he pulled his fortitude back into his sane mind so he could have this little conversation with you.

“Uhh…,” he began, and he widened his eyes a bit to clear away the fuzz, “yeah there was a moving truck parked in the front. I thought they might need the space to load up, so I had to park inside a secure lot on the corner.” He cleared his throat after he said it and your brow furrowed as you tried to think of any other lot besides the one that you knew closed for the evening between midnight and 5am, which was part of what made it a secure lot.

You did your best with it, but that was the only lot you knew of existence in this neighborhood.

Your stomach sank just a little bit.

“Baekhyun, the lot on the corner?”

He nodded his head as if he seemed only mildly curious about why you were discussing this right now.

“They lock it up at midnight,” you said flatly. Your eyes blinked steadily at him and you bit down hard on your bottom lip before inhaling to add another fact that you knew about this lot. “It doesn’t open until morning. That’s why it’s a secure lot. There will be no way for you to get your car out until morning.”

He was watching your face with more interest now. After a few moments of him staring his brows furrowed deeply, he inhaled and hissed his response, “Why would they do that?”

He gave his head a shake, as if this made no sense.

“What did you do?” You whispered in response, lifting your hand in his direction in question and you hopelessly fought the smile on your face as best you could, but something in you found this little blunder of his to be weirdly funny. You let a little giggle escape and you lifted your hand up to cover it up.

“I just gave them my car but I thought they would give it back to me,” he whispered back at you with his hand also lifted in the same way you had done and you were laughing outright at him now.

“Guess I’ll have to take a taxi,” he said to himself and another thunder boom sounded in the distance. Your giggles quieted down and Baekhyun was looking down at your counter from the safety of the other side now, away from where you sat on this stool having your own little struggles with the thought of sending him out in a taxi in this storm.

Baekhyun was slowly tracing the edge of your kitchen counter with his fingertip. It was an aimless and mindless motion and your eyes followed the path his finger took until he took a step and reached the end closest to your front doorway. You saw his focus land on a few things you kept there. You had a little dish with some loose change. You had a few sets of keys that opened various locks, some that you remembered, some that you did not. Some baubles and some things that just happened to land there when you got home. His hand landed around a small bottle of perfume that you kept there so you could spray some on your skin or on your neck before you headed out the door in the mornings, and either his curiosity or his brazen nosiness had him lifting the bottle and uncapping it to place it against his nose for a sniff.

“Is this what you wear?”

You hummed out your response, admitting that yes, lately that was your go-to scent.

Baekhyun sprayed once on his wrist and lifted a hand to his nose, coming back with a pout on his lips. Did he not like it? Was it too cheap for his expensive tastes and he found it unpleasant compared to something that you were sure he would buy for himself?

“Smells different on me,” he said after a while and he took two or three steps to close the distance between you both, leaving the bottle of perfume back where he had picked it up.

His hand was extended and you instinctively turned your nose into his wrist to see what he meant. You smelled the notes of the perfume that you loved. You smelled it paired with his skin and it smelled pretty good you thought. You gave a questioning shrug in response and he stepped in closer to you again, pushing his hand forward so his wrist grazed lightly against your neck this time, transferring the still damp perfume onto the skin of your neck just below your earlobe.

“Here,” he said softly and he was leaning his face, pushing his nose into your hair and breathing deeply and slowly from the skin below your ear, “here, you smell so good.”

A match was struck somewhere inside of your body and you felt goosebumps spread over your skin with his face so close to the skin of your neck like this. Everywhere, your skin pulled and prickled and as if against your will, your head tilted to the side giving him access to you. The softness of his cheek brushed against your cheek as he made his way down and when he pulled that breath deep into his lungs you felt your eyes close up and the air you gasped for got stuck halfway inside of your throat. The effect made a sound come out of you. The want pushed your hands forward and you wrapped them around his waist, pulling him into you. You’d been sitting on the stool and when you pulled him his hips landed between your parted knees and there was a fire spreading very quickly.

You heard the low throaty moan from his chest and it echoed through your eardrum, vibrating against your neck where you felt his soft lips press a kiss into the skin below your ear.

You were on fire. You pulled him harder into you with your arms tightening around his waist and you gave in to the urge to let your knees part, feeling him stepping in just enough. You could feel the effects you had all over his body and when he pressed himself between your legs you couldn't help the moaning sound that escaped from your throat. You felt your control slipping. The man was making you let go of every single rule you’d ever lived by and you could feel deep down in your bones a desperation building within you.

Baekhyun lifted his face to look into yours and his eyes were half closed with that same look of heady desire deep in those eyes.

He dipped his face into yours and you felt softness as his lips placed the smallest kiss on your lips. You responded with a puff of air and he pulled his face up again, seeking out your eyes with his own dark ones.

He moved in close again, pressing another tiny kiss over your lips and he immediately pulled up again, his eyes searching all over your entire face as his fingertips smoothed the hair around your temples, clearing it from your skin before he placed another tiny kiss on your face, beside your rapidly blinking eyelid; his next kiss was peppered delicately just over your cheekbone followed quickly by the smallest kiss over your jaw.

He was back again, those eyes were back on you and when he moved in to kiss you on the lips once more you responded. You opened your mouth to him pulling the tip of his greedy tongue inside of your mouth again, needing more of his lips and his tongue and his teeth with only the need for air stopping you from speending hours and days and weeks inside of his mouth.

And then he was back at your neck, only this time instead of inhaling he had an exhaled whisper on his tongue.

A question to ask you.

“Can I stay-” he breathed, “here with you-” his words were gasping, “til’ the morning?”

You wanted him. You wanted to keep him here with you and you wanted to keep him forever.

He was looking into your face again, with half closed eyes, swollen pink lips and that dark look in his irises. You knew what his question was. You could feel the desire in every cell of your body. You could feel the heat he pushed between your legs, desperate for some relief.

Your head nodded on its own. Your body responded to him without any effort on your part at all and even if you had wanted to push him away, you were too wrapped around him to physically be able to.

You knew what this was. It was stronger than either of you could stand.

After your nod, his lips were back to your ear, whispering again, setting your skin ablaze again with those sinful sentences of his. “Won’t you take me to your room?” he asked.

Yes.

Yes I will.

Yes we can go there.

Somehow you found your legs were still working and somehow you found the courage to take those steps. It is just over here, you guided him without speaking as your mind raced, all a jumble of anxious nerves and disbelieving the fact that you were really doing this. You walked and he followed and somewhere inside of your bedroom with the lights turned off and only a small table lamp in the shape of a bird that you had purchased simply because it was cute, illuminated in the corner, you heard the smallest question from him.

“Is that a bird?” Of course he would notice it. It was the only light on in the room and it was fucking awesome. His eyes would be drawn to how sharp the lines were, how clean the design was and how fat its little belly was and how its tiny body was filled from head to tail and bursting with light. You paid so much money for it; way too much for it only to hide it away inside of your bedroom but it made you very happy and so did your bedroom.

“Noona, how can you be this cute?”

And now, Baekhyun was here too.

Standing in here with Baekhyun with him commenting on your very secret and personal silly little bird lamp had your hands trembling and your mouth had gone dry from trying to fill your lungs with deep calming breaths.

Your skin was too hot. Your body was too affected by him and you began to worry about how you might do this. It had been a very long time since you’d slept with anyone. You weren’t even really sure how long. Your last relationship had fizzled out long before you were dumped by him and that sex had always felt rather performatory and kind of unsatisfying. But what if it was you? What if you just weren’t that good at it? What if you embarrassed yourself with just how obviously and how badly you wanted him right now? Because you did. You’d never wanted anything more. A million self doubts were flying through you and you spun anxiously on your heels, turning into him, you quickly opened your mouth to speak.

“B-Baek, umm…” you were speaking quickly, “i-it’s been a really long time since I’ve b-been with anyone.”

Oh god, you sounded scared. You didn’t want to give him the impression that you didn’t want to be in here with him right now.

“I want to though, with you,” you swallowed, willing the audible shaking in your voice to settle down. “I want you.” You said the last bit as cleanly and as plainly as you could. He had to know this.

You could see his face clearly with the small light in the corner, thanks to your awesome bird, and you were sure he could see every shaking, trembling, uncertain expression that had just flown over your face.

He’d taken a step closer to you as you spoke and all the while watching your expression closely as you spoke. You had to close your eyes after a few seconds under his watchful gaze and you only realized you were holding your breath when the tips of his fingertips touched at the side of your face and the gentle touch made you gasp for more air.

“You want me?” He had a sort of wonder on his voice with the question and it pulled your eyes open to him. You could see his lips pulling into a kinetic smile, his lips moving with each of his exhales, his very slight smile pulled and slipped like it might have been powered by his heartbeat. The movements would have been undetectable had you been any further away from him.

“I’m nervous,” you confessed in a whisper with your eyes closed but with him touching you this way you could already feel something other than nerves overtaking you now.

“Baby, it’s me,” his warm breath fanned over your lips, between the kisses he gave you he also gave you promises, “and I’ve got you.”

His reassuring words overcame, “I’ve got you — no matter what, I’ve got you, my darling.”

Baekhyun’s promises coated over you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and you felt the ease that came with them.

My darling.

His hands had moved now, he ran light fingertips over the goosebumped skin on your waist, slipping his fingertips gently below the elastic waistband of your shorts.

Byun Baekhyun, your Baekhyun, had so carefully and expertly broken down every bit of your self defenses and excuses. He’d seen you so clearly from the beginning and he’d done it in a way that only he could have done. This choice — this act with him felt inevitable. You gave in. Up until this point, it had been a difficult battle against yourself, but ultimately and inevitably, you did it.

You gave in to this feeling completely.

As if you had always been meant to do with him.

When you’d found yourself completely bare before him and he was just as vulnerable before you; you let go of all of it.

The arousal had been so much that every touch of his skin on your skin had you reeling. Your skin was hot to the touch and when his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist and lifted you up, he did it with such ease that you crumbled in his arms. When the cool temperature of the blanket that covered your bed first touched your bare back you gasped in shock at the temperature difference and when the heat and the weight of his body covered over you in one fluid motion, your breath left you entirely.

You’d underestimated the strength he had in his body. You’d underestimated your body’s response to feeling him here, pressing between your thighs, your thighs which he fit in between so expertly and with purpose, your thighs which he’d pushed open himself with a firm knee as you both fell together into this bed. Your thighs between which he sank with hip bones at first, his mouth still connected to yours. But between your thighs he was there, with a wandering hand and silent fingertips that touched and teased and urged as he found the exact places to touch you; as he found the exact pressure and rhythm to push you close and closer to the edge of your sanity and you lost his lips from your mouth in the haze and you felt him sinking lower and lower, down between your thighs. You gave in. You let go of the tight grip you’d had on his hair as he pulled you harder into his mouth and you gave in to it; the oblivion that took you over.

You’d had no time to recover when you felt his wet tongue and wet lips at your breasts. You’d had no time to recover when you felt those hip bones back between your thighs with the heat and the pressure he brought with him. Baekhyun pushed inside so slowly at first; then came the feeling of being inundated by him and with all of the fire and the pressure and the careless abandon that came with it.

What you hadn’t underestimated, what you just knew would be a truth about Byun Baekhyun and what you had shamelessly imagined many nights since you’d begun experiencing this silly little self indulgent infatuation involving your Assistant, was that the sounds he made as he fucked you were resonant; as thundering as they were thrilling. Many of these sounds he made directly into your ear, sending the moans and whines and whimpers directly into your brain as his body rolled, pulling you on top of him, lifting you again so easily with strong arms as you sank down onto him again and again. It felt simultaneously never-ending and fleeting. Spinning, spinning, spinning forever; the spool had been wound so tight something was bound to snap soon and you could feel a climax nearing for you both.

When the oblivion returned you were overcome with more than that took your breath away. The sex itself, the climax itself was not the only thing that you felt running through your every vein, filling you up from the inside with a pervasive all consuming force. The sex itself was incredibly unparalleled to anything you had ever experienced with anyone else in your life, but there was something more that took hold of you in that very moment and you could not find a name for it as it moved through you.

Even through the eventual separation of your bodies, even through the laborious breaths that were futilely chased and the thick haze and the dense fog that you climbed up through, for some sort of return to reality; you still felt gripped by it.

It felt like falling. It felt like you would never be able to escape from this.

It felt like — felt like—

Baekhyun’s whisper made its way through the obscurity followed by lazy kisses pressed against your sticky skin with a spoken question and you knew.

Even as he himself asked you the very question that danced inside of your mind, tempting you with its heavy implications; you knew the answer.

Whether or not he asked it out loud you already knew it so completely.

But still he said it — from his own lips came that tiny question.

“Is this love?”

[To Be Continued]

Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo smut #baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo scenario #exo fic #girl dinner #boujee smut

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inniessick · 1 year

Text

Do You Still Love Me? / Yang Jeongin

pairing: non idol!yang jeongin x fem reader

word count: 5.1k (im so sorry)

warnings: angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of break up, lowkey mean!jeongin but not the entire fic, SMUT! soft/hard dom!yang jeongin, sub!reader, mention of alcohol (once), dumbifaction, no verbal consent but everything was fully consensual, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (do not do that), begging, fingering, being manhandled? (wrists pinned above head, face being grabbed), dacryphilia, crying in general, degradtion, praise, overstimulation, size kink (maybe kinda, just being safe), pet names/names (baby, doll, princess, good girl, darling, my love/love, honey // bitch, slut, whore), orgasm delay?, hickeys/lovebites, marking in general, hair pulling, kissing, showering together??, let me know if i missed any!

likes, reblogs and feedback appreciated! :3 ♡

smut below the cut, don't press keep reading if you don't want to see that.

to think you'd end up here.. alone with him, it had only been a week since you last saw jeongin. and about 6 months since you broke up. it was messy, and clean. the entire situation made so much sense and none at all.

it had been nearly perfect for 3 years. you had been friends for 2 years before you even started dating. you and jeongin met in your junior year of college. he had a reputation around him, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. you became best friends, basically attached at the hip, always together no matter where you were. "y/n and jeongin" "jeongin and y/n". absolutely nobody was surprised when you both started dating. you had always been naive, but jeongin realized he liked you very early on, too afraid to actually ask you out because he valued you so much. eventually, after a bit of liquid courage he had the balls to ask to be your boyfriend. the funniest part? you were going to confess your feelings to him the same night! your new years resolution was to be more upfront with your feelings, and you labeled that your first attempt, of course he beat you to it but you still told him how much you really liked him. a win is a win. jeongin knew you had only ever been in small relationships, never meaning a whole lot, and he wanted to change that for you. he went out of his way to make you smile at least once a day. he succeeded.

he was your first for almost everything, and he prided himself on that. everything he did, he did with meaning, he payed so much attention to you. he was the best boyfriend you could've asked for, of course you two fought, but it was rare and never a screaming match. it was civil. but then things got ugly after he went on a vacation to see his mom for 2 weeks. he came home so upset, and unintentionally took it out on you. called you clingy stupid incompetent. followed all of that up with, "why can't you leave me alone?" "do i need to help you with everything?" you tried to talk to him and ask him what was wrong, he didn't budge. you tried everything, being affectionate, leaving him alone, talking to his friends, you even tried to call his mom. nothing worked and you started to give up, you thought he hated you. eventually you told him you were moving out, he had no reaction. you took it as sign that it was over and done with.

of course you tried to move on but you couldn't. no matter what you did, you thought of jeongin. everything you did was a reminder that you had lived with him through seriously important years of your life. you couldn't shower without thinking about how he washed your hair. couldn't wear your clothes because he either got you most of them, or you got them when you were with him. your favorite meals were his favorite too. anything that was “yours”, was his. you didn't blame him, its not his fault that you two worked so well together. worked, past tense. you constantly had to remind yourself he wasn't yours anymore but no matter what you did it was always him.

you were baffled when he sent you a text one night, shortly after breaking up, asking to meet up. you took him up on the offer but rather than talking it led to you both drinking just a little bit too much and ending up in bed together. and that's how it's been for the last 4 months.

isn't it funny? sometimes you get lucky and they think you're someone else. you figured he didn't care that it was you, he just wanted to fuck. but here you are regardless. you thought you'd finally end things once and for all, but then you got a call from him. were you stupid? you shouldn't have answered his call at all. how can you blame him for your inability to end it? i mean, you picked up the phone after all.

it was 1am, you were nowhere near ready to sleep, you were thinking about how to approach him. speak of the devil as they say, right?

“hey.. y/n.. are you up?”

“yea innie, im up.” there you go again, thinking without speaking. the nickname too? cmon.

you could hear his staggered breathing, “come over? please? really need you.”

your heart was beating so hard you would've thought it was going to burst out of your chest. you knew exactly what he was implying. “mkay innie... ill come over” why would you say no? at least he wants you for something right? you heard him sigh, “thanks doll, you know how much you mean to me.” you gulped, trying so desperately to breathe but you couldn't, his words taking all the air from your lungs. you opted to just hang up the phone instead of responding.

somehow you made it out to your car, no recollection of getting dressed or grabbing your keys. but you were back to reality now, and all you could think was “should I really go and see him?” your hands gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles began to blanch. hadn't he made it clear weeks ago? you were just a quick fuck and a half decent friend, always so pretty for him, not enough to make him think about a relationship though. and yet, you started the car anyways, you drove over to his place, it used to be yours too. the drive couldn't have gone any slower, yet you were pulling into the parking lot before you knew it. walking up to his door, knowing you had one more shot to turn around and end it there, you grabbed the spare key from under the little garden gnome you'd gotten him a year ago, and you unlocked the door. you idiot. then you walked into his apartment, and made your way to his room. are you serious right now? and of course there he was waiting for you. only one thought in your head, god he's so pretty..

“’m so glad you're here, baby.” jeongin wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you towards him before connecting his lips to your neck and kissing all the spots he knew you loved. of course he knew them, he knew you better than you knew yourself.

“mhm.. I know innie.." you murmured while looking to the side, unintentionally giving him more access to the crook of your neck, before throwing your keys on the chair in the corner of his room.

you felt him pull away, only to come back once he had led you to his bed. towering over you, a small smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss your neck. he began running his hands down your torso before slipping them under your shirt to grab at your chest. his hands moving so gently over your skin, yet slow, achingly slow. jeongin slotted his knee between your thighs, the slightest bit of pressure being put against your core. a shaky breath and a whimper gave him all the confirmation he needed. peppering kisses along your jawline before meeting your lips. it was aggressive, tongue pushing it's way into your mouth, spit across your lips, all while he was touching and grabbing at your skin. your skin felt on fire, you needed some sort of release. how had he got you so worked up while doing so little? how did he still have this much control over you? you pulled at his hair, moved yourself against his knee just enough to satisfy the urge for some kind of friction.

"innie please.. need it so bad." you'd think you just entered another mans bed with how gently he began taking off your shirt, it all felt so slow, he was teasing you, testing to see how much he could get out of you. “innie, hurry please. don't wan’ wait anymore.” you were whining, begging for him to stop teasing you and just give you what you wanted, no, needed. “alright, honey, shh.. cmon lift your hips a little so I can take these off of you too.” he pulled at the top of your shorts, and you lifted your hips up allowing him to pull your shorts and panties off in one swift motion.

grabbing your hips before moving his hands down your legs. gently rubbing his hands on your thighs before bringing them back up and reaching your clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure, trying to get you to moan his name just the way he wanted. throwing your head back, and arching your back, “ahh- innie.. jeongin oh my god.” he gently kissed your thighs offering slight squeezes, almost like he was afraid to grab you too hard. “that's it princess, same my name again, tell innie what you want.” “wan’... want your fingers, please innie please.” “alright love, ill give you whatever you want.” right.. ‘whatever you want’, you were too caught up in the feeling of his fingers near your core to actually feel upset about what he was saying.

but it didn't stop you from thinking about his actions. how was he able to hold you like you were made of glass? touch you so lightly, it felt like his fingers were just ghosting over you. he made sure to place you down gently, to tell you such sweet things.. how could such things come from a mouth as vile as his?

you and jeongin weren't always like this, it was good at one point. you a real relationship. he really truly loved you, yet somewhere within the years, he stopped. he couldn't tell you why, he didn't know, or maybe you didn't care to ever ask in the first place. endless miscommunication. he may not love you, but at least in some way he still cared about you, even if it was late into the night and only if he could touch you in whatever way he pleased. you loved him still, and you weren't ready to give up yet. how else could you make him stay?

his fingers made their way to your entrance, slick built up from his teasing. “always so pretty and wet for me. just for innie, yea?" you nodded while grabbing at his hair, lightly tugging. “yesyes always for you, just for you, jeonginnie. pleasepleaseplease.” you weren't quite sure what you were begging for anymore, you knew he would fuck you so why beg? did you want him to love you? kiss you and hold you? your thoughts becoming scrambled as he slowly pushed 2 fingers into you, slowly pulling them out then pushing them back in, curling them right at that sweet spot. you closed your eyes, unable to handle all the pleasure he was giving you. his fingers reached places yours simply couldn't.

he kissed his way up your torso before getting right to your collarbone and stopping, his hand never moving away from your core. “princess, you still here?” he put his finger under your chin nudging your head up. you were still moaning, clenching around his fingers, trying to think of a response as he quickened the pace. “yes, just wanna cum innie.. p- please.” you whimpered, “alright love, you got me, im here. cum for me baby, come on.” he went back down, this time finally connecting his mouth with your clit. humming slightly when you let out a higher pitched moan. small kitten licks as he kept fucking you with his fingers, coaxing an orgasm out of you, just as you had asked him. before you knew it you were coming undone on his fingers. moaning, pulling at his hair, incoherent words spilling for your lips as he helped you ride your high out. finally pulling himself away from you, lips slightly wet from your juices, your legs still shaking as he softly rubbed circles on your thighs.

“you still okay doll?” “mhm.. want more, need you jeongin.” your hand on his clothed chest, pulling at his shirt, a silent request for him to take it off. he seemed to understand what you wanted, retreating from the bed to rid himself of his clothing. you stared at him as he stripped, it almost felt like he was giving you a small show. it didn't matter how many times this happened, you never got over how big his dick actually was. seeing him always made you nervous, how is it gonna fit? even though he makes it fit every single time. he got back onto the bed, towering on top of your small frame again, giving you a few kisses before he lined himself up with your entrance, pushing in slowly, his soft hand caressing your cheek. you were whimpering, tossing your head from side to side, and grabbing at his biceps, “innie too much too much canttakeanymore..” your speech was slurred, “you can do it doll, take me so well every time.” you knew he had to have been only half way in, but you felt so full, it felt like he was splitting you apart. “still so tight after I fucked you with my fingers... so cute, always asking me for more.” he whispered close to your ear, it sent a shiver down your spine. he kissed your face gently as he continued to push himself deeper into you before finally bottoming out. tossing his head back and groaning every time you clenched down on him, “see princess? took it all j-just for me.” your breathing was rigid, trying to get used to his size. your fingers gripping harder onto his arm, whining “why are you so big? its too much.” “its okay baby, take your time, you can do it.” “j.. jeongin move, please move.”

he connected his lips with yours, the kiss was hot and sloppy. he moved his hands down to grab your hips, slowly building up speed. each thrust causing you to whimper and moan into his mouth. he pulled away from your lips only to reconnect himself to your jaw and move down to your neck while letting out strings of curses, softly biting your neck every time he felt you clamp down. he had completely littered your neck and chest with red and purple hickeys, even after everything was done you'd still be reminded of him, that ultimately, you were still his. “fuck.. so tight for me... always so fucking good." he moaned as you moved your hands under his arms and clawed at his back, not only was he picking up his pace but he was going harder, each thrust making his tip kiss your cervix. “fuck innie.. ahh.. right there please, moremoremore” “more what princess? talk to me.” he fucked into you faster, he wanted to fuck you dumb, make it hard for you to say anything to him. “shit.. harder please.. god, jeongin, please harder!”

its like something in him snapped at that moment, pulling away from you and grabbing your wrists before putting them above your head and holding them there. “why do you keep begging? are you that much of a greedy slut for me?” he looked down at you, so small beneath him. such a tiny little thing, all his, only for him to use. “mm! yes innie, I am!” “do you want me to fuck you dumb? make you feel so good you can't think?” “yesyesyes please! wan’ be good for you.” you kept babbling nonsense and moaning to the point where you couldn't even think a proper thought. he had reached his goal. “who fucks you this good, y/n? who makes you scream like this?” you were trying so hard to form a response, really you were! yet you failed, unable to register the things he was saying. it didn't help that he kept snapping his hips into yours and hitting the one spot that made you see stars. he stilled his hips, grabbing your cheeks with one hand and making your face form a pout. “answer me, who fucks you this good?” “you, jeongin! only you fuck me like this! please dont want you to stop.” you moved your hips while whining, “atta girl.” he was back to assaulting that sweet spot, fucking into you at a rapid, unwavering pace. you couldn't stop moaning, almost like you had no control over yourself anymore. all you could think about was jeongin and how good he felt. in the midst of everything, your mouth hung open just slightly, drool falling onto your lips, tears threatening to spill from your half lidded eyes. “awwhh, poor little baby crying because that can't take what they asked for? didn't you say harder, love? isn't this what you wanted?” he was taunting you, he knew exactly what he was doing. tears fell from your eyes and you kept nodding and babbling, completely fucked out while your legs trembled, “’s too much innie, too much, c-cant take it!” “getting fucked so good you're crying now? are you that much of a whore for my dick?” you cried harder, sobbed for him, begging him to not stop, while going on and on about it being too much, before you knew it you were begging him to let you cum too.

“in... fuck- innie.. wan’ cum for you, please need to.. love you so much.. please need to cum,” the pace he was going at was cruel, and so precise, every thrust hitting right where it needed to. “I'm nowhere near finished with you and you're already gonna cum? are you that much of cock hungry bitch?” “yesyesyes love you so much, i love you! jeonginnie! please let me cum! need to cum,” “come on then, wanna feel you cum on my cock.” and with that he was kissing you as you moaned and trembled in his grasp, he gently released your wrists and slowed down, fucking you through your orgasm. “that's my good girl,” it almost sounded as though he put an emphasis on the word, making it known that you were his.

you dont know why, but you used all the strength you had left to wrap your legs around his waist as you grabbed his face, “keep going please... want you to cum in me innie.. need to feel you.” you pulled his face back down and kissed him, you felt his hips stutter slightly before he put one of his hands behind your neck and the other holding on to your hip so hard you knew it'd leave a mark in the morning. he deepened the kiss, it was full of passion, tender yet sloppy, so hot you thought it would burn you. you tangled your fingers in his hair and held onto him. he had slowed down a lot, only pulling out halfway before sinking back into your warm cunt. you weren't screaming his name anymore nor moaning so loud that he would be gettin noise complaint, rather it felt almost too intimate, small moans and a couple swears. sweet nothings “love you so much, want to kiss you innie, keep going please” and him reciprocating, “feel so good around me, never want to let you go, you're perfect... love you.” the last two words made your chest begin to feet tight, almost like you couldn't breathe and you screwed your eyes shut. he was too caught up in the moment, right? surely he didn't mean to say that. his thrusts became sloppy and jeongin started breathing heavier, “cmon baby, cum for me, please.” you whispered into his ear, tugging on his hair a bit, you heard a small “mhm” come from him as he kissed all around your neck, you swore you even felt him smile against it every time you said his name. a familiar knot in your tummy formed. with a few harsh thrusts from him he was filling you up, as you unraveled around him while mumbling about how much you loved him.

you both laid their for a moment, catching your breath and just holding onto each other. after a few minutes he leaned up slightly, wiping the tears off your cheek, but these weren't from earlier. “y/n, why are you crying?” and you snapped back to reality. of course he was just saying all of that because of the sex, why else would he be that sweet to you? he hadn't said your name like that in awhile, it sounded too cold. you felt your heart break just a bit, your short-lived dream being ripped right from your hands.

he was holding himself just enough above you to not be laying on top of you, and you missed how close he felt to you, you understood the intimacy was over. he rubbed your cheek, “why are you crying? was I too rough? did I hurt you?” he pushed himself off of you and took in everything. your chest had hickeys all over it, neck covered in bite marks, hip starting to bruise from his ruthless grip, lips bitten and red, hair disheveled, he felt horrible, did he really hurt you? well no, not in that way at least.

you had no clue why you couldn't stop crying, offering him a small smile as tears kept falling from your eyes, “no jeongin.. it was great. you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't hurt me, I wanted you to be rough, promise. I just... I missed that.” you saw his jaw tense, “what do you mean..? the sex? we do that all the time..” you turned your head to the side trying to avoiding his gaze. he quickly, yet gently, grabbed your jaw and made you look at him, you were his, and he had full control of you. “no.. missed you.. holding me and talking to me like that.” “y/n- baby... im sorry, you know it can't be that way anymore.” “I kn- I still love you.. dont know what to do with myself.” you cut yourself off. if not now, when? didn't he deserve to know you felt? did he not remember saying he loved you too? were you really just a tool for him to use? certainly that wouldn't be horrible, right? at least he would keep you around. it left you thinking, when had jeongin ever said something he didn't mean at least a little bit, though? some truth had to be hidden in his statement.

he ran his hand through your hair, “let's get you cleaned up and then we can talk about this, okay?” you stared at him, like a dear in the headlights, “talk about it..?” “mhm baby, we can talk about it. cmere let me walk you to the bathroom, clean you up.” you simply nodded, at a total loss for words. was this his form of a cruel joke?

he started a warm shower and got you both in. holding you against his chest, you could hear his heart beating, it was so steady. it was silent for awhile, only small sniffles coming from you. he held you, letting the warm water run over you and ease your muscles.

"turn around so i can wash your hair, darling." “mkay..” his fingers massaged your scalp slowing working his way around your head before rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. he helped you wash your body. making sure to gently go over each area, small apologies after he touched every mark. “dont apologize.. like it when you mark me like that..” he only hummed in response. you knew he loved doing it to you, too. as he finished rinsing the bubbles off your body, he reached for the shampoo, and just before he could pick the bottle back up, you grabbed it, "innie, can i wash your hair too?" you sounded so enthusiastic, like it was something you had been waiting to do. that stupid smile of his, he let out a small laugh. "of course you can wash my hair." you smiled back at him, placing a small kiss on his cheek. he put his head down so you could wash his hair completely, you started to wash his body for him, you took this opportunity to take the full view of him in. only a few marks left from your mouth on him, his back had scratch marks all the way down, you stifled a giggle when you saw. it felt so natural.. normal again, but things like that are too good to be true aren't they? you turned the water off and got towels for each other. you stared at him as he dried his hair, "your hair got long again.." you said lowly, you hadn't noticed it until now. you hadn't been this close to him for a long time, "i haven't had the time to cut it yet.." you hummed in response before drying yourself off. "i like when you grow it out.." you thought you had said it softly enough that he hadn't heard, but you were met with him saying, "i know" before holding your head to his chest for a moment.

"let me go get us some clothes- are you okay wearing mine? i don't have any of yours here.." "yea jeonginnie, your clothes are just fine." something in you was glad that you hadn't asked to keep a spare change of clothes here, but you shouldn't be happy, you shouldn't have hope that this will work out again... but god do you want it to.

walking back into the bathroom, he handed you a shirt you used to wear to bed all the time, "i remember this one, you got it from Chan during new years right?" "Mhm, same time when i asked you.. sorry." he stopped himself, the grin on his face falling, he looked upset with himself for bringing up the memory of when you two first got together. granted, you never forgot, you think about it all the time. shaking your head, you put on his clothes and walked back into the bedroom.

there was a long pause, where you both just looked at each other trying to figure out what to say, "so...” you looked around the room, trying to break the silence but jeongin quickly spoke, “you still love me?” your eyes widened again, you hadn't expected that. "you kept saying it when we were.."

you stopped him, “you said it too...” he looked at you and nodded, acknowledging that he had reciprocated the words. so he said it on purpose... “of course I still love you jeongin.. why else would I keep coming back?”

he held your hand in his as he looked down.. “but I said some really horrible things to you y/n, I just let you leave, and then i only called you for things like this.." “mhm.. I didn't want to lose you completely.. needed to find a way to stay with you.” “princess.. im so sorry.”

you shook your head and pulled your hand away, “dont apologize, that means you're gonna leave.” panic rising in your chest, “baby.. im apologizing because I dont want to leave. I want to be around you, you don't know how much i still love you.” just as quickly as the anxiety came, it left.

you could feel your eyes getting watery again, you didn't know you had any tears left to spare. but for him you always did, you had everything to give him, you just needed him to let you. “do you really want me innie...? do you want a relationship outside of sleeping with me? im too clingy and I can't do stuff right..” he knew you were referring to the things he had told you, it pained him, chewing on his bottom lip to fight off the tears he knew would spill at any moment. god, how he regretted hurting you. he never meant to, he couldn't stand seeing you upset because of him. “love... im so sorry I told you things like that i.. i dont know why i did.” he grabbed your cheeks and looked into your eyes, “I didn't mean it. you're not too clingy, I want to be glued to your side every second of the day. I never want you to leave my arms. I want to be around you more than anything else. and.. and you're not incompetent my love, you do so much right, im the one who messed up. of course I want a relationship with you y/n, I didn't know you still wanted me after everything that happened.” was he always this dumb? of course you still wanted him. you put your face into his chest, trying to say something but you couldn't. the only words that would come out were sorry, and love you. he knew you couldn't put it into words just yet. he held onto you so tightly, but it wasn't close enough. you needed to be closer, you needed to crawl into his ribcage and make a home next to his heart. but you already resided there. you were always there, he loved you more than anything and deep down you knew that. thats only fair right? he had made a home inside of you, an endless garden that flourished through every limb, every cell within you, constantly growing, begging for you to never uproot it, and of course you wouldn't. when he had abandoned the garden, that is your heart, you continued to water it, show it love, in hopes that one day he'd come back and stay there. maybe this was what you were waiting for. you loved him more than bees love flowers, more than the stars love the moon, more than life itself.

jeongin held you in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “love you innie..” “I love you too... baby im sorry I didn't try to fix this sooner.” there was a pause in his speech, but you didn't doubt that he truly meant what he was saying. “we can fix it now, right?” you looked up at him, pleading, silently begging him to tell you ‘we can fix this’. “if you'll let me, ill do everything to prove im a better man now. I dont want to live without you like this anymore. I cant tell you how much I love you.” “I dont want you to tell me you love me, jeongin. just show me. show me that you love me like I love you.” you pulled away and kissed him for the nth time tonight, but it felt different. it felt loving, there was no lust, just a kiss between two people who loved each other. a kiss that signified a promise, a promise to keep trying, to show each other endless love. a kiss shared to say things neither of them could.

a/n: PLEASE I REREAD THIS SO MANY TIMES IF THERES AN ERROR IM SORRY? HOW DID I MISS IT?? you can thank tv girl for this fic because the whole inspo was from "her and her friend". i literally couldn't stop writing, it felt never ending. may be a bit disorganized, but i tried really hard to make it as fluid as possible. i hope the ending didn't feel rushed either? i thought i closed it off pretty well. that being said, please give me feedback on what you liked/didnt! i will take it into consideration when writing my next piece! my requests are open!

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maraschinomerry · 1 year

Text

You and Me

Pairings: George Karim x gn!reader

Summary: five times George didn't know he had a crush on you, and one time he did

Content: fluff, first kiss, canon-typical danger

A/N: I've been working on this for ages and am so relieved it's finally done! A lot less angsty than most of my stuff, just tooth-rottingly sweet for a change 💕

Word count: 3.2k

Taglist: @neewtmas @marinalor @ettadear

George hovered in your doorway. You'd left it ajar, your secret signal to each other that you were up for company, but it was almost 2am and he'd never visited this late.

"Hey Georgie," your voice whispered from the dim lamplight within. "Couldn't sleep?"

He shook his head before realising he couldn't actually see you and there was a chance you couldn't see him either. "No, I, uh… no."

Suddenly your head popped up from behind your bed, blinking groggily, and you waved him over. He pulled the door shut behind him.

"How did you know I was there?"

"Because I know you, silly," you elbowed him playfully as he sank to the ground beside you, your backs resting against the bed. You tried to ignore how scratchy the sheets were against your neck.

You'd both joined Fittes about the same time, and as the two newbies and joint youngest you quickly became inseparable. Everyone else was alright, you were a team after all, but between the elitist mindset and regulation living quarters the place never really felt like home. It had quickly become apparent that 'home' for both of you was each other, and now nearly 6 months in you spent most of your free time in one of your rooms or tucked away in a corner of the British Archives. Much like tonight, shoulder to shoulder in the soft orange glow.

You sat in companionable silence for a while, occasionally being pulled from your thoughts when your fingers would brush his and it felt like a spark ran up the whole length of your arm.

Eventually, George spoke. "Do you ever think about leaving?"

You turned to him with a frown. "Leaving Fittes? Duh."

"Fittes, London, agents' work, all of it!" His voice held a hint of the animation it did when he was telling you about a particularly exciting artifact, but there was something sombre about it tonight too.

"I mean, yeah," you considered, "but it's not that simple. Wherever we go, the Problem will follow. And we had a plan, Georgie."

A month after you'd joined, the first time George had been in your room, the two of you had made a contract. Pass your Grade Four, leave Fittes, establish your own agency, become the best in London (in England, even) and have your weaselly team leader Brookes begging you to come back or better yet hire him. But you wouldn't, because you wouldn't need him. It would be you and your rapier, George and his research, against the world. You and him.

"You and me," George murmured. You smiled warmly at him, draping and arm around his shoulder and pulling him close.

Something shifted deep in his chest.

Oh.

It had been the worst year of your life.

Your best and perhaps only friend in the whole world had been fired, sent packing in the middle of the night with no chance to leave you a contact number or tell you where he was going. When you found out the next morning, Brookes had had to give you the rest of the day off because you couldn't stop crying long enough to achieve anything. How could you focus on training when a piece of your soul had been torn from you?

It only got worse from there. You were sidelined for countless opportunities, used as bait like you were nothing, and to top it all off you were reassigned to the team of one Quill Kipps, who you thought made Brookes look like a saint.

One day, in late summer, you reached your limit.

You quit.

"Where will you go?" Kipps had asked. You wanted to think he was mocking you, telling you that nowhere would accept some Fittes reject, but truth be told he was genuinely concerned.

You didn't know the answer to his question, but you refused to stay for a day longer. Measly bag of belongings and rapier in tow, you made your way round London to every agency you could think of. No luck. This was such a bad idea. George would be horrified by your lack of planning.

Not for the first time, you wondered where your friend had ended up. Maybe he'd gone north. Maybe he'd opened his own agency. Maybe he'd given it all up like he said. Surely he wasn't still in London. He'd have looked for you, right? Right?

You flopped dejectedly onto a bench in Hyde Park. It was close to nightfall, and you'd need to find somewhere to stay. A newspaper lay abandoned beside you, half falling through the gap in the wood. You thumbed through it to the ads section, hoping to find a boarding house or even a late-night pub.

Your eyes lit up.

"A.J. Lockwood & Co. Prestigious agency hiring junior agent. 35 Portland Row."

With trembling hands you tore the advert from the paper and tossed the rest aside, sprinting for the nearest taxi rank.

The door to 35 Portland Row was opened by a tall boy with dark hair and equally dark circles under his eyes.

"Hello, I'm looking for Mr Lockwood."

He offered you a smile. "That would be me. How can I help?"

You hesitated. He barely looked older than you, let alone old enough to be the head of a prestigious agency. Then again, you had no other prospects and nowhere to go. You inhaled, preparing yourself.

"I'm here about the job." You held up the newspaper cutting with a slightly trembling hand.

"Splendid!" His smile widened. With a flourish, he gestured for you to step inside and guided you through the door on the right into an eclectic living room. "Have a seat, my colleague has just gone to brew a fresh pot of tea if you're interested?" You nodded. It had been such a busy day you hadn't even realised you'd skipped lunch and your mouth was dry as a bone.

While you waited, you dug out your hastily constructed CV and handed it to Lockwood, who skimmed over it with interest. As he turned the page, a door behind you creaked open and he lowered the paper as he looked up.

"Ah, perfect timing. Another candidate, thought I'd wait until you got back," Lockwood explained to the mystery figure as they moved around the edge of the sofa, before he turned to you. "Allow me to introduce my colleague-"

You barely registered what he was saying. Your focus was entirely taken up by the curly haired, bespectacled boy holding the tea tray.

"Georgie."

The tray clattered unceremoniously onto the coffee table, and before Lockwood could register what was happening you were on your feet, being tackled into a bear hug that almost knocked George's glasses straight off his nose. Your arms wrapped around his waist as you buried your head into his shoulder, tears already formed and soaking into his orange plaid shirt. Lockwood watched in fascination as his friend, who had well established in his year with the company that he did not enjoy physical contact, scrunched his eyes shut and brought his free hand (the one that wasn't gripping your shoulder like a lifeline) up to tangle in your hair.

"Hey, you," he murmured into the top of your head, blinking back tears of his own.

"You two know each other." It was more of a statement than a question from Lockwood, who you had quite forgotten was still in the room. Blushing, you extricated yourself from George's embrace, and felt your pulse skip when the hand that loosened from your shoulder trailed down to link with yours.

"We were together at Fittes," George stated. He must have told Lockwood about your time together, because the other boy just smirked knowingly.

"Very well then, I suppose we can dispense with the tests, if George will vouch for you?" He looked to George, who nodded so hard he thought his head might fall off. "Welcome to Lockwood and Co. Do please have a biscuit."

"George?! George!" you yelled, voice hoarse with dust and nerves.

You'd been fleeing the basement of a decrepit haunted house when, with a sickening crack, the bottom half of the rickety wooden staircase collapsed right behind you. George had pushed you to leave first. He'd been right behind you. On those steps.

You crouched at the edge of the shaft, terrified of what you were about to see. Your mind filled with visions of your best friend, laying prone or ghost-touched on the cold concrete below. Relief and adrenaline flooded your veins when you saw him, from the chest up, clinging to the remaining steps and legs dangling above the debris. Lockwood and Lucy, the newest member of the agency, were nowhere to be seen, but the ripple of a reforming Type Two behind George was all too noticeable. Bracing yourself as best you could, you reached down and gripped him by the forearms. You weren't sure you could lift him alone, but as soon as his knees cleared the now-bottom step he was able to scrabble his way onto his feet. He scampered up the remaining steps and slammed the hatch closed with an echoing finality.

Your hands were on him immediately - brushing hair from his eyes, turning his head side to side, adjusting his glasses, running down his arms and across his torso, anywhere you could think of to check for injuries.

George was perfectly unharmed, he knew. Nothing more than a couple of splinters embedded in his T-shirt and a slight lack of breath from where his chest had slammed into the step. But he said nothing, more than content to let the accident disguise the real reason for the quickening of his breath as you worked your fingers across almost every inch of him. As they came to rest on his chest, he prayed you would think his racing heartbeat was just from the narrow escape, his flushed face just from exertion. This really wasn't professional, any other agency would have him on a disciplinary, but he was too far gone to care. Still, probably best if Lockwood didn't find out. He wouldn't be mad, of course, but he would be so smug.

You woke up in a cold sweat, barely even aware of where you were. Weeks had passed since the Bone Glass was destroyed, but you were still plagued with nightmares. Sometimes it was Lucy, hanging unconscious from the Skull. Sometimes it was Lockwood, bleeding out on the catafalque. Mostly it was George, in any number of horrifying scenarios. Tonight, you'd watched rigidly, unable to move to help no matter how much you yelled at your dream self to save him, as Joplin pressed her knife closer and closer to his throat. His echoing cry as the blade dug into his skin had flung you awake with a jolt.

A gentle tap at your door pulled you back to reality.

"Yeah?" you called, voice catching.

The sight of a familiar mop of curls, attached to a very much alive George, began to soothe your speeding heartbeat.

"Hey, is everything okay? I thought I heard you scream." Oh my god. How were you supposed to explain that away? Lockwood and Lucy were away on a case, you two were the only ones in the house and it definitely hadn't been him imagining things.

"I'm fine," you said with a smile that didn't reach your eyes.

Falteringly, George stepped further into your room as though there was an invisible barrier he wasn't sure whether to cross. "Are you sure? You don't seem fine. You're shaking." You'd dropped your gaze lest he scrutinise it, so you hadn't seen how close he'd come until he was on his knees in front of you, reaching for your trembling hands. When you didn't pull away, he took them ever so gently, grounding you. You bit back a sob. "Hey, hey," his voice softened further, "I've got you." He moved to sit next to you on the bed, bringing the hand nearest to you up to rub circles into your back.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled between sobs, "I didn't mean to wake you. It was just a stupid nightmare."

The hand left your back, then it was on your cheek, turning you to him. His thumb brushed away your tears.

"Listen to me, (name). You have nothing to be sorry for, you understand? I know what it's like, I get nightmares too sometimes and they feel so real, so don't dismiss it as stupid. And I hate the thought of you suffering in silence. You're the most important person to me, I'd do anything for you, so please let me?" He had no idea where the words came from, but he meant every single one. You nodded, still teary-eyed, and he opened his arm out to allow you to curl into his side.

It was impossible to tell how long you sat like that, but eventually your eyelids began to droop. George noticed and gently manoeuvred you to lie down, drawing the sheets up over you. You gave little protest, too exhausted to mind, until he made to move away, when he felt his hand tugged back.

"Wait." You looked up at him, a blush painting your cheeks. "Will you stay? Please?"

He gave you one of those laughs he only seemed to do around you, more of a sharp exhale through his nose accompanied by fond eyes and a soft smile. "What did I just say? I'd do anything for you." You felt the mattress shift as he settled onto the other side, keeping a respectful distance but making sure you could still feel his presence. At last, you drifted off, knowing he was there.

"You look rough," Lockwood commented when George slouched into the kitchen the next morning. George wanted to bite back that he didn't look much better, hair a mess and eye bags deeper than ever, but he'd only just got back from the case with Lucy so he had a reason to be tired.

"Didn't get much sleep," George muttered, shoving a couple of slices of bread into the toast and clicking the kettle on. Normally he'd start the day with tea or juice, but this time only coffee was going to be strong enough.

Lucy appeared from the basement, looking more dishevelled than Lockwood. A huge smear of dirt coated her cheek and her shirt was torn. She'd heard the conversation. "Are you okay?" She knew George had barely slept for the first few days after the Bone Glass, and his words made her worry he was slipping back into that bad place again.

He realised what she was implying. "Oh, I'm fine. It was (name) who had the nightmare, I just stayed up to make sure they slept okay after it."

Lockwood and Lucy exchanged a glance, fighting to suppress the grins that were beginning to form. George squinted at them.

"That's very chivalrous of you," Lucy said with twitching lips.

"Oh absolutely, you're such a good friend," Lockwood continued. Lucy snorted.

"Well yeah," George frowned, "why are you saying it so weirdly?"

They stared at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because you don't seem to realise how much of a crush you've got on them."

Heat rose in George's cheeks. That was ridiculous; you were his best friend.

"Look," Lucy said gently as she settled at the table, "would you come and check on me if you heard I was having a nightmare?"

"Of course. I've done it for Lockwood before too." He'd visited the other boy's room so many times during his first few months in Portland Row.

"But did you stay up all night with me? And I'm guessing you weren't on their desk chair." Lockwood raised an eyebrow.

George opened his mouth and closed it again. They were mad, they had to be. Sure, he wanted to keep you in his life forever now he'd found you again, but the same could be said of the other members of the agency. As for the need for physical contact, the butterflies it created in his stomach, the way a single smile from you could fix even the worst days, that was just… oh hell.

George felt like he was in shock. All this time, all those funny little feelings he had around you, it was a crush. He could have been with you all this time if only he'd realised. Wait. That was assuming you liked him back, and surely you'd have said something, right? So there was no way you felt the same. But Lockwood and Lucy knew him so well, they would never have brought it up if they didn't think there was more to it. If they didn't know. God, this was complicated.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Your voice in the doorway made George jump. How long had you been standing there? How long had he been lost in thoughts of you, of finally telling you how he felt now he had the words?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," you apologised sweetly as you moved to join him on his bed. "It just looked like you were thinking about something very serious, is it anything I can help with?" Yes, it absolutely was. You had no idea how much it was.

"I'm an idiot," he blurted.

You frowned, placing a hand on his knee and unwittingly sending a burst of electricity through his entire body. "You're not an idiot, Georgie. You're the smartest person I know and I love that about you, don't ever downplay it."

"No, (name)," he turned to you, gaze intense and bursting with emotion, "I am. I've been in love with you from the very beginning and it took Lockwood and Lucy intervening for me to realise." He could barely look at you now, terrified of what he might see - confusion, disgust, pity, disappointment. It wasn't how he'd planned on telling you, either. It was supposed to be so much more romantic, but he'd wasted this much time figuring it out that he couldn't bare to waste a second longer waiting for the right moment to come along. "I don't expect you to reciprocate, and it doesn't have to change things, I just wanted you to know."

Whatever reaction he was expecting, a laugh was not it. The sound was light and pure, like wind chimes in a summer breeze. "You are an idiot… for thinking there was any chance I wouldn't feel the same."

The spark from your hand on his knee reached his chest, igniting the fireworks he'd been storing safely in his heart. Colours, beautiful colours, burst before him: the rich centre of your irises, the highlights of the sun on your hair, the flush of your cheeks, the rose of your lips. Your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked quietly.

"I'd be an idiot if I said no," you laughed again as you wound an arm around his waist, pulling him closer and bringing your lips to his. The lingering scent of lavender and old books blended with the taste of tea and biscuits to create a sensation that you knew was completely unique. 'You and me', you'd agreed. And here you were, you and him. You kissed him deeper, relishing in the taste. George tasted just like you'd always imagined he would. Like home.

#lockwood & co x reader #george karim x reader #george karim #gn!reader #lockwood & co fanfic #lockwood and co

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