#actuallyOCD

[crippleculture]

"lol i let the intrusive thoughts win and dyed my hair!!" my intrusive thoughts feel like my eyes are being pried open clockwork orange-style and im being forced to watch csem but im glad you're having fun with them i guess

#actuallydisabled #disability #actuallymentallyill #actuallyocd #madpunk #pocd #neuropunk #ocd

[heartshattering]

Six nights (same as my last streak)

I did get hit by some bad anxiety again and thought it might be the night where I 'mess up', but I didn't. I was able to stay calm without my panic getting out of hand and turning into a full-blown panic attack. I didn't have to take more of my sleep med to successfully fall asleep, just the amount I took earlier that night. Most of all, I think one of the things I'm really proud of is that when my brain tells me I *need* to do something or else some disastrous thing will happen, I've been able to ignore it better and pretend I don't care.

Over time, I've realized the things I panic about happening unless I do certain things are just not true and don't make any sense at all. It sucks in the moment because your mind really does try to convince you otherwise, but like I said in the update post before this one, there's no point in trying to reason your way through it, you just have to accept it and face your phobias. I honestly never thought I would be saying that, I really thought I would always be too anxious and stuck to ever be 'okay' with sitting with discomfort (much less being able to do it *without* throwing myself into a panic attack and feeling physically sick all night).

I'm still uneasy when nighttime approaches, I still have phobias in the back of my mind and feel like I could have a breakdown at any second while laying in bed, but now I know I don't have to spend the whole night panicking and unable to sleep. I don't have to rely on doing a bunch of rituals and taking extra pills. I actually feel slightly more 'normal' even though I realize I'm not 100% where I want to be yet, but that's okay. I'm still a little better than I was before and I'm going to keep trying my best.

Hopefully I can continue making progress and eventually reach some of my bigger goals but I don't want to overwhelm myself too much right now. I just have to trust that things will be alright, take things one day at a time, and hope for the best.

#mental health recovery #actuallyocd #insomnia #panic attacks #anxiety #i am trying

[wheelie-sick]

Based on the final lines of Dante's Inferno, walking through hell and reaching the other side

[ID: a digital art piece done with a sketchy style. a wheelchair user with medium length black hair looks up at stars in the sky. he has a slight smile. he's wearing a black t shirt with a skull on it. he has his left arm out stretched and his right arm tucked behind his wheelchair, his left arm has many scars on it. surrounding him are the words "where we came forth and once more saw the stars"]

this piece is a reminder to myself that there is another side of hell, that you can walk out and see the stars again. I first saw this quote from Dante's Inferno used to signify healing in a memoir about depression I read for one of my classes, it stuck with me. I've been thinking about it ever since and decided to draw something based on the quote and this particular usage of it.

I messed around with some different brushes for texture this time, it was fun

‼️ Reblogs okay but do not trigger tag my scars ‼️

#digital art #actually OCD #actuallyOCD #actuallyCPTSD #actually CPTSD #actuallyPTSD #actually PTSD #neurodivergent

[deceasedgirlfriend]

“still hit though” but i use sex as a form of self harm

#self harm #actuallyocd #actuallybpd

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

when i first read that part of the OCD diagnosis in the DSM-V is that obsessions/compulsions disrupt at least an hour in the day i was like no that can’t be me i don’t spend that much time doing that and uh, my therapist just pointed out to me i spend an hour every night fighting intrusive thoughts and repetitively telling myself my schedule and counting to 4 repeatedly until im able to fall asleep, and that doesn’t even count (haha) all the times i spend checking things four times to prevent obsessive thoughts (checking the door four times so i know my cats haven’t gotten out, take things out and putting things in my backpack four times before i go to school, etc.)

anyway i got an official OCD diagnosis and ive been switched from the zoloft ive been on for 8 years to prozac because we couldn’t go any higher on my zoloft lol

#i say lol to cope with the fact i have YET ANOTHER official mental illness #ghost.txt #ocd #actuallyocd

[donttellourtherapist]

Going to seriously be quoting TATWD in my next therapy session because John Green is a genius and has so many depression-lite metaphorical quotes that can be used to describe both depression and OCD (we have both).

#the tightening gyre #tatwd #OCD #actuallyOCD #tw sewerslide

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

this site's all support neurodivergent people until something completely unconsequential and basic happens then it's all "thats a bad omen!!!!!" jokes

#my post #text post #ocd tag #actuallyocd #ok for ppd/psychotics to reblog too #my ramblings

[lithiumloser]

I wish psychiatrist weren’t so professional sometimes and what I mean by that is I want you to look me in my eye and tell me my choices are unmedicated suffering of many forms and possibly jail, or being medicated on shit that can make me fat, tired, and possibly never bust a nut…

#actuallybipolar #actuallyborderline #actuallyptsd #actuallyocd #actuallybpd #like just be honest and I’ll gladly pick the second one! #but don’t LIE!

[dexrlybel0ved]

ive felt this way for a really long time, huh?

#stfu bree #vent #actuallybpd #actuallyocd #actuallydepressed #actuallyadhd #dysthymia #pdd #actuallyanxious #it’s been many years #my memory is so shit but i look back on old writing and stuff and…yeah it’s been forever #so many years of this shit

[zhooniyaa-waagosh]

Sometimes I go to explain my food issues by saying "I have OCD" and I have to stop myself because of how that phrase has been so watered down that people would think I'm making a joke or being ableist instead of trying to express that I have a specific flavor of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder that has fundamentally changed my relationship with food and destroyed my ability to eat regularly and comfortably because of a constant terror that it's contaminated in some way.

#hush and shush #actuallyocd

[crippleculture]

"Oh I couldn't ever tell you have OCD" thanks it's cause I'm on the highest legal dose of medication for it

#actuallydisabled #disability #actuallyocd #ocd #madpunk #pocd #neuropunk #mental illness #neurodivergent

[wheelie-sick]

"damn maybe I have OCD" <- me 5 times a day (is diagnosed with OCD)

#actually OCD #ActuallyOCD #neurodivergent

[defectivegembrain]

If companies are tracking my online behaviour anyway could they make something that identifies my compulsive searching patterns and forces me to stop the anxiety spiral

#:) #actuallyocd

[badplush]

I find it really annoying that people say things like "I have such bad OCD" when they mean being disorganized meanwhile I'm sitting here feeling physical pain over trying to not do a compulsion.

#stuffie mumbles #actuallymentallyill #actually ocd #actuallyocd #obsessive compulsive disorder

[astro-whispers]

"Ohhh, Im so ocd I love cleaning and having stuff organized. Its my superpower"

Start. Fucking. Running. I'm going to hunt you for sport.

#soliloquy #ocd #actually ocd #actuallyocd #intrusive thoughts #can you fucking. shut your mouth before I shut it for you? #losing my mind #lalalalalalalalala 🍭

[leosabi]

wearing short sleeves at work and trying so desperately not to give into picking compulsions in front of my coworker and the customers 🫠

#bfrb #dermatillomania #ocd #actuallyocd #leo speaks