#a little scared to post this tbh

[syrupfog]

AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.

But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).

He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.

The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.

Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…

Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity

And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.

And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.

So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.

Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”

But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)

Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”

So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.

But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”

And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.

And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.

And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.

And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.

So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.

That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”

And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf

And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.

Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night

But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—

But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.

Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.

Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.

Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.

He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.

And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.

Which is something Sanji is still learning.

He’ll get there.

#zosan #it’s always a toss up what fics to write vs what to just throw out into the void like this #uhhhhh I need a tag for this #would this go in the Zosan fanfic tag I dunno if that’s just for finished fic #my writing #I guess that works #anyway cross posted from twitter since I have like 3 followers lmao #and tbh it’s been a week I’m still thinking about this #(I’m thinking about writing omegaverse Zosan more tho) #(and ptsd law who’s scared of luffy) #(too little time in the world)

[weirdcor3]

#weirdcore #oddcore #aesthetic #those grates in wave pools scared the SHIT out of me when i was little #they still do tbh LOL #dreamcore #strangecore #nostalgiacore #from the depths #by bones #not sure abt this one but wanted to post smth #poolrooms

[tomgrcg]

thinking about greg being a constant voice of reassurance for tom this season. looking after him. asking if he's okay. making sure he's eating and sleeping and feeling good even if it comes at his own detriment when he has to go back down to 'gregging'. cheering him on. hearing that tom is suffering in his marriage and half-jokingly asking if he wants to get revenge. doing it anyway. calling him at his uncle's funeral to see where he is. making sure the president of the united states knows tom's name. he really is tom's lifeline.

#anyway................................. he loves that man #i'm so scared they're going to ruin this next week tbh like please do not please can we keep this. this nice little thing. #ruins my post in the tags #tomgreg #succession #g.txt #sorry if someone has made a similar post but i am typically skeptical of greg's intentions and this is really hitting me rn

[bisexualseraphim]

I gotta say, I am seriously fucking concerned with the amount of people here who seem to wholeheartedly believe that the correct answer to the genocide against Palestine is ANOTHER genocide except the other way around. Please stand back for 2 minutes and seriously think about whether you think it’s ever a helpful or just cause to advocate for the deaths of millions of people, especially when plenty of said people are Jews whose families fled there after barely surviving the Holocaust because hardly anywhere else would treat them like human beings or accept them at all since the antisemitism that allowed the Holocaust to happen was not solely in Germany and didn’t magically disappear after the war ended.

Look. The situation is simple when you boil it down to this: Israel is bombing and starving Palestinians like fish in a barrel and doesn’t want to allow aid to Gaza, which consists of a population of over 50% children. Israel allowed the Nakba and displacement of Palestinians for decades and tries to hide it from public view. This is genocide. The Israeli government is at fault for this. Israel holds the power here because they have the power to bomb and starve millions of people and force them out of their homes, and Palestine certainly does not. It’s an utterly horrific, inhumane thing to do with no excuses for it and it needs to stop. This is the simple part that is glaringly obvious for everyone to see and it’s almost laughable for anyone to deny it.

Okay. You’ve successfully identified the main problem and the “bad guy,” if you want to put it in childish simplistic terms. So the question now is: what next? Say Israel agrees to an immediate ceasefire. What do you, impassioned activist on the internet, propose should be done to solve this situation after that? What should be done to free the Israeli hostages? Do you think the UK and the US, two of the most powerful countries in the world who actively help Israel commit its atrocities against Palestine, will ever do anything to help the Palestinians once Israel loses its power, even if better governments are eventually elected? How should the Palestinian land be claimed back? Where should all the Israeli citizens go? Should they all be forced out to Europe and America, even if that isn’t where they originate from, where the already-rife antisemitism has spiked even further since October 7th and Jews who live thousands of miles from Israel and have nothing to do with Israel’s actions face horrific hate crimes every day? Do Israeli children deserve that? Who’s going to pay for their travel and accommodation? Or, should they all be allowed to stay there and live side by side with the Palestinians? Do you think most Palestinians would be happy to remain neighbours with the citizens of the country that has oppressed them so fiercely for over 75 years, even if said citizens didn’t partake in it or in fact opposed it? What about the 20% of Israeli citizens who are Arab or Palestinian? Do you hold the same opinion of foreign settlers in Israel as you do its citizens whom have made a home there for many generations? How do you discern between settlers and “real” Israelis? Do you see any difference between them at all? Why? And what should be done about Hamas, the group that openly calls for the genocide of all Jews around the world and commits war crimes against Israeli citizens? How much of the history behind Israel’s occupation of Palestine are you aware of? Do you think the British government should be held accountable for splitting Palestine in the first place? How would you go about that? Would it be fair to punish the British people for their government’s actions when British citizens didn’t vote for it? How does that compare to your view of Israel and its citizens, and why?

I am absolutely NOT asking trick questions here or trying to “gotcha!” anyone. I am asking these questions precisely BECAUSE they are extremely difficult to answer, with several of them contradicting each other, and they are meant to get an emotional reaction out of you. I certainly don’t know what the “correct” answers to most of those questions are, and that’s exactly my point: there is no simple answer to a problem that has been going on for decades with such a wide, complex history. Historians and political experts who know all the facts and have studied this shit for years don’t know the answer and it’s honestly insulting to all the people suffering to log on every day and see so many people go “actually 😌 I, a random 20-30 something year old on the internet who isn’t even touched by what’s happening in Palestine, have figured it out before everyone else! Just delete an entire country and all its citizens off the map 😊 This is a moral thing to suggest! And if you disagree with me you’re promoting Zionism/terrorism 😘” There are no simple answers and if you think there is one — and especially if you think that answer is to kick citizens out of the country their family has lived in for generations — then you are both wilfully ignorant and evidently fuelled more by hatred than an actual desire for peace and an end to death and oppression and I don’t believe there is a crumb of sincerity in your activism.

Am I naive enough to think that fighting against oppression and occupation is always going to be peaceful? Obviously not. But you’ve got to think about where and when said violence is actually going to be beneficial, and where and when it’s violence purely for the sake of violence, which is NEVER justified. You can’t advocate for human rights and then turn around and say “oh, but not for you.” EVERYONE deserves food and water. EVERYONE deserves shelter. EVERYONE deserves to receive treatment for sickness or injury. NOBODY deserves cruel and unusual punishment or torture. And EVERYONE deserves to be alive. Those are essential human rights that should never, ever be denied wherever it is possible to give them, and disagreeing with that reflects extremely poorly on you and your principles. Think about what narrative you are pushing when you claim an entire people “deserves” bad things. The constant dehumanisation I see happening in online activism (and far too often in real life too) is actually terrifying and if you want to do some real good in the world, I need everyone reading this to examine their potential internal prejudices, even the ones you don’t think you have, and think about who exactly you’re helping when you express thoughts that perpetuate them, and who you may be harming in the process.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…

Here are some useful resources if you want to make a difference and help people:

Standing Together (an Israeli movement advocating for ceasefire and peace between Israelis and Palestinians)

Zochrot (an Instagram page that seeks to educate the public about the Nakba)

Parents’ Circle (an organisation run by relatives of Israelis and Palestinians killed in the conflict who advocate for peace)

Operation Olive Branch (a Google Doc of Palestinian families seeking evacuation)

Mesarvot Network (an Instagram page run by young Israelis seeking to refuse the IDF draft and end military violence committed by both Hamas and the IDF)

Other Gaza aid organisations to donate to

#I’ve kept this in for too long I had to say something #I wonder if anyone will call me a Zionist for saying that Israelis are people who don’t deserve death #Despite the fact I’ve been spreading awareness for the Palestinians all this time #Tumblr activists when you don’t advocate for human suffering: 😡😡😡 #Tumblr activists when you don’t treat a genocide like a sports game: 😡😡😡 #Tumblr activists when you think death is bad: 😡😡😡 #Tumblr activists when a Jewish person exists: 😡😡😡 #I’m not Jewish but if I was I would likely be too scared to post this oop #Do you know how many Jewish mutuals I have who advocate for Palestine to be free #But they receive antisemitic abuse and get called Zionists for not wanting Israelis to die #I’ve been too scared to say all this for a while tbh #But if people have a problem with me saying ‘I want as little suffering to anyone to happen as possible’ #Then are those really people I want around me? #Oh fuck British politicians for supporting genocide btw #free palestine #free gaza #gaza aid #palestine resources #israel palestine conflict #i/p #genocide #ethnic cleansing #human rights #antisemitism #islamophobia #holocaust #activism #fuck the tories #fuck labour #long post

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Gianni not doing any streams until April is gonna give you a good chance to catch up on your backlog I hope!

I’m all caught up with the exception of the most recent stream which I’ll probably get to tomorrow.

The backlog is uhh everything older than December 2023 (a lot). Not going to run out of that anytime soon.

I’m in no rush. Some weeks I only get through like 3 streams, other weeks it’s more like 9. Just depends on how much I need to be paying attention at work lol

#the backlog that SCARES ME is the list of clips #downloading and editing and all that is what takes a while #and I only do that at home (which is to say: very limited amount of time) #I have been trying to do it in batches and schedule em through the week recently #which is much easier #it’s just finding the time to do it that sucks lol #I have plenty of time at work #but very little free time at home #that’s the issue for me tbh #non voice post #ask #asks

[strangefable]

what d&d class is your oc?

tagged for this uquiz by the lovely @jillvalentinesday, @cassietrn, @inafieldofdaisies, @voidika, @josephseedismyfather, @direwombat, @poisonedtruth, and @theelderhazelnut, thank you all <3

Ranger

You are a Ranger, an explorer of dangerous territories. You are fearless and cunning, traits necessary on your travels, but you tend to be closed off from others and overly pragmatic. Your connection with nature and skill with weaponry will carry you through most battles, and your sneakiness will let you avoid the ones it will not.

There isn't any other class that suits her. She's not got the magic for druid, but her fighting style keeps her out of direct warrior/barbarian types. Archery and nature, exploration and knowing the lay of the land, and using it to advantage? That's Micah. She's at home alone in the woods, but with party members she's off her footing, unsure how to interact or engage. Trusts comes hard for her, but a fearless ability to throw herself into danger? Yeah, she's got that in spades.

Rogue

You are a Rogue, a skilled adventurer who uses guile and expertise to your advantage. You are often seen as stealthy and precise, aiming for your opponent's weakest points, but you can master various other skills to aid you on your journey. While you tend to be underhanded and greedy, you can also be daring, clever, insightful and charismatic.

Sneaky. Underhanded. Guile. Charm. Greed. Loose Morals. What else could Lil ever be but rogue?

Artificer

You are an Artificer, an adventurer who wields science in place of magic. While your foremost trait is intelligence, you're built tougher than most others who place their faith in their brains. You are inventive, curious and occasionally reckless, all traits that get you both into and out of trouble on your adventure.

I admit it, I took the quiz for her a few times until it returned the right result. Intellect and knowledge, melding science and magic, those are Bright's Things. No matter how much the quiz kept trying to make her a traditional magic user, she's just not. She's extremely reckless, but it's not out of malice or a drive for power; it's simple curiosity. And a love of shiny things. She's clever but not wise; she's quick but not strong or nimble.

Paladin

You are a Paladin, a warrior sworn to an Oath, whether it be to a god, a king, an ideology or oneself. As a divine soldier, you are well equipped to strike down evil, but must follow a code of your choosing to retain this power. While you are limited somewhat by these bonds, you are also the most driven and determined member of your group.

tbh i've never considered what would suit Lore, but honestly? yeah, she's very driven for good, for what she sees as moral and right, for the betterment of the people, though i don't know if she could be defined as a soldier or warrior. she's about practicality and function over form or style, but she'd balk at the idea of serving a god or a king. her goal is always to help people, especially those who have no voice and no power. she fights hard, but she prefers diplomacy and compromise whenever possible, to save as many lives as she can. she's one of my purest, most good characters.

i realize i'm kinda late on this one, but i'm passing on tags, anyway. (feel free to ignore me<3) @henbased, @adelaidedrubman, @v0idbuggy, @legally-a-bastard, @damejudyhench, @mars-colony, @strafethesesinners, @thisisrigged4, @mediocre-life-span, @harmonyowl, @marivenah, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @florbelles, @trench-rot, @wrathfulrook, @simplegenius042, @incognito-insomniac, @gayafsatan, @shallow-gravy, @turbo-virgins, @chazz-anova, @confidentandgood, @aceghosts, @jacobseed, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @fourlittleseedlings, @clonesupport, @unholymilf, and anyone else who wants to do this, please say i tagged you <3

#micah hale #lilith mallory #bright #lore jameson #dnd quiz tag game #i was gonna do a few others but i feel bad how long my posts get #and i'm never sure if i'm tagging the right people or just being annoying #but anyway yeah i maybe cheated a little to get results that fit for a few of them right #tho micah and lore are the first results they both got #i blame my lack of dnd knowledge on how wrong i was getting answers tbh #rambling in the tags because i'm nervous af about posting this #so this is how i procrastinate wheee #also i may even participate in wip wed today i know that's a big shock lol but i've got writing happening again #just so scared to share #yep i am procrastinating in tags whoops

[mossymandibles]

do frankie and kraw have... history... together? Like, frankie just shoved his face into kraw's tits in that sketch....

I was honestly wondering when someone would be curious enough to ask.

Yeah, they do, nothing super dramatic as far as I’m concerned but it ended some kind of way when Frankie started offering unwanted advice about some touchy subjects for Kraw.

Kraw got around a lot in his younger years (he still does ofc). He’s someone you wouldn’t think could be suave on purpose but boy there’s a switch and he can certainly flip it on with most people if he wants to. He’s had some various flings and Frankie happened to be one of em (who still pushes his luck sometimes). They’re on okay terms though. He helps babysit sometimes.

Anyway, have a comic.

#that was probably more info than u wanted idk #comic #monster art #Ik I don’t usually post couple/sexual stuff a lot but I do pair characters up lik barbie dolls tbh #poor ari is a little scared of Kraw #kraw #frankie #asks

[steddiesucker]

🎵 Act fool, Act fool, Act fool~ 🎶

#went a little overboard with them #you saw it here first #too scared to post it on IG tbh #not much difference #they’re both hopeless #don’t get me started on what I had planned for Eddie’s version #that my friends wouldn’t have been approved by tumblr lmao #steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie stranger things #steve stranger things #metal & babygirl art #stranger things fanart #fanart #digital fanart

[littleredborb]

Hourly Comic Day 2024 1AM-4AM

#hourly comic day #hourly comics #well that was fun #i was a little scared of posting 2am since it got too personal #i dont know how to fix my sleep schedule tbh ive already tried sleeping early

[lepidopteragirl]

sometimes i wonder who could win in a fair fight, before. before the prison and before dream started burning the candle at both ends "experimenting" w vik and lazer, before sapnap secretly hasnt trained in weeks bc he cant bear to get himself to train when he knows full well that the next time he'll be in a fight he'll have his brother at the end of his sword.

when they were friends still, when they knew each other better than themselves. when they never really fought with heart in it, with real intent to hurt, pulling their swords back before someone could really get hurt. if back then, they'd fought fairly, a match purely skill, would dream have won, two years older and so much smarter, the one who taught sapnap to fight in the first place and still trains more, strokes sharp and vicious on the training dummy in a way sapnap cant really capture when he tries it secretly, alone when he knows dream wont see it. or would sapnap be better if they fought, purely, to the death to victory, with no inhibitions on the man boy at the end of his sword, without the careful way he'd pull back his blade to keep from hurting his best friend that came almost like instinct to him, no matter how hard he tries to pull it back to win for once when they had friendly spars. he's always been quicker than dream, stronger, even if he wasnt quite as adept, as perfectly honed, practiced in technique that sapnap really never had the patience for.

or would they be perfectly matched. would sapnaps strength, his natural quickness, exactly match dreams training, his strategy, every technique hes spent years perfecting to stay on top as sapnap grew, got stronger and better just behind him. would they stalemate, blades clashing late into the night. until one collapsed, unable to keep going, the victor heaving, exhausted, and alone.

#cdnap training together as kids is sooooo #little sibling older sibling dnap also makes me sick nuts insane ough theyre best friends but dreams also his big brother #looking up to him but at the same time resenting him when hes bossy #that tiny niggling need to be better at everything your little sibling. esp if theyre a little more naturally good at it than you #<- source op started swimming competitively bc her little brother made it to a big meet and didnt swim bc he was like 5 and scared of the #big pool and was so pissed he had the opportunity to do it and didnt take it ive been on the grind ever since #also the alternate ending to this post is that dream would play dirty to win the ''fair fight'' but i thiouhg this was sadder tbh

[autistic-blazamy]

ready to send them out into the world, most normal 12 y/o/ guy and worlds most off the walls 10 y/o

#toby.txt #if ur gonna ask about the paws i dont draw shoes and gloves sorry reddit i know please dont bully me #i know they look werid but thats ok i like to have fun . also pls dont roleplay under here im very awkward thank u #i hate how these turned out but thats ok to makee good art ill have to make bad art #sonarry #kittails #fankid #fanchild #sonic fankid #sonic fanchild #sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #art #fanart #oc #sonic oc #i dont wanna tag the characters by themselves sorry reddit #im kinda scared to post this tbh . but thats ok ♥ little guys blast #theyre both aroace and agender they dgaf

[okkennymay]

Ectober Double Update available on Patreon UvO

If yah just can’t wait until it’s posted up onto here in due time, you can catch a peek for the low low price of one dollary doo USD! ╰(*°▽°*)╯Plus other comic wips and sketches that I lovingly fling at my dear beloved Patrons, it’s the place I love to post the most! I cannot help but do the most for those that choose to support me in this rough and tumble day and age despite my limitations 😤

#Ectober Comic #Ectober Night #Danny Phantom #I'm so proud of these pages tbh #I really want to post them here too #but i'd be doing my dear patrons a disservice #I promised them first serve and by gods I cannae let them down #my pateron is like a comfy room that I stick pictures up all over but then hide in a pillowfort passing notes out to all my patrons/friends #I wont lie most of the internet still scares and overwhelms me I spend very little time actually online #But gosh it's more than I used to be able to do #and i'm grateful for that

[borderlinegerard]

i hope i die, you broke my heart

#personal #my posts #so fucking tired oh my god #just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic #sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do #like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me #taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group #as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it #all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you #theres a reason im always the person you go to #byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you #like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ?? #does it need to be completely equal to be fair #and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat #im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love #like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired #i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us #idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood #and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest #you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either #and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix #but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt #but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much #i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did??? #and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me #a little more than they were supposed to #i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me #iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary #okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow #byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh

[cats-thoughts]

Clown has always known Branzy was a bit more than he seemed. He was clumsy, but always moved with a purpose. He was silly, yet beneath the jokes, he was a genius. He was overly trusting, and still cautious all at once. And most importantly, he seemed innocent and kind, but there was always a certain glimmer in his eyes when death was near, when he held tnt in his hands. Like it was a holy object. Like Destruction was his Language. He visits him on his other server, Echocraft, once, to help with a prank- that's all he tells him. That, and, "when I give the signal, just start killing!" He watches Branzy cause 76 deaths. In the span of an hour, his friends die 76 times. They don't even seem surprised. They laugh about it. As if this were normal. And then... he blows up his base, and everyone next to it. Aside from him, because it takes more than a measly explosion to take down Clown Pierce, but still. 85 deaths. And Branzy laughs. And he wonders how much he's really holding back, on Lifesteal. ... He doesn't want an answer.

#branzy #clownpierce #writewithcat #just a little something idk what inspired it i just #ok tbh im procrastinating schoolwork SHHH ILL DO IT IN A BIT #clown can be just as scared of branzy as branzy is of him. As a treat. #i imagine its like an equal exchange #as branzy becomes less and less afraid of clown #clown becomes more and more afraid of branzy #im also procrastinating posting this shh its fine ill just keep adding more tags no one ever has to read this ever actually /j

[aeide-thea]

disjointed thoughts abt like. various anti-'normalization' takes i've seen and how actually i think like. expanding the range of things people are aware of & comfortable with is in fact often a helpful step towards becoming less dependent on the concept of normality to determine acceptability, because once you understand that normal isn't in fact a narrowly fixed range but is subjective and can be widened, it becomes a much softer yardstick & less of a bludgeon

#this connects in general to like. pushback against stances that i know from personal experience to have been valuable stepping stones #in the process of broadening my thinking #like idk if some ppl really never knew what it was like to feel totally ruled by social pressure to be Normal or if they've just forgotten #but i think like. our efforts at radicalization have to contain room & compassion for ppl who are starting from very normie places #thinking also abt like. tiktok(?) shit like 'neurospicy' here which like. is WAY too twee for me personally #and i def get where ppl are coming from who feel like it's bc the kids are scared to claim words like disabled #but it's like. no shit the kids are scared to claim words like disabled???? i would have been too?? #having a stepping stone out of Normality that they can feel good about for themselves is like. good in those circs imo! #like there's just. SO much pressure to fit yourself into the Normal box if it's even halfway possible #where 'possible' VERY much includes 'shutting yr eyes to‚ or even cutting off‚ the bits that don't fit' #like. i thought i was a cishet teen! i had body worries i now think are incredibly stupid! Normal absolutely had power over me! #and it's just like. idk. if under that kind of crushing pressure ppl are coming up with cutesy little escape hatches? #seems defiant and resourceful to me tbh! #anyway this is 100% an off-the-cuff beta edition post and may have bugs #but i just kinda think the general concept of like. stepping stones. evolution. learning rather than always-already-knowing. #could use a little more love than it sometimes gets

[caffeinatedopossum]

Apologies

This is a vent/poem I wrote about my mom. I've been thinking I wanted to tell someone these thoughts for a while now but always felt too scared to. I hope you like it. Trigger warning for abuse and implications of death/violence.

I still remember the first time in my life that I didn't accept an apology.

I was 17 and somehow knew nothing and everything about life at the same time.

You said you were sorry, expecting my ever reliable reassurance. Well, not this time.

All I said was "okay".

You needed to know I heard you. You needed to know I didn't believe you. You needed to know everything I tried to but couldn't say with that one word.

You didn't beg for forgiveness, you just kept driving. And your silence said everything because there was nothing there

And that's exactly how you feel

Everything in angry silence.

I couldn't actually tell if you were mad at me or not but I didn't care. I didn't want to care anymore.

Why do I still care about you?

Why do I still want to forgive you?

I thought I knew everything about you at 17. I thought it made sense finally.

Now I look back at my obliviousness with immense fear but also gratitude.

If I'd known then what you did to him, hardly a father but still the husband you chose

You refused to do the logical thing and get a divorce for 13 years

Till death do you part, right?

If I'd known that when you said you would "get rid of me", you weren't really talking about foster care,

I think I would've done the job for you myself.

God knows I tried.

You said you wished I was never born.

Me too.

Me too.

At least he was truly sorry before he died.

#also lol theres no reason for the weird colors in the title. i just thought a little contrast would be cool #i might delete this tbh im still scared to talk about it #at least by being poetic i can pretend it isnt exactly what it sounds like #im like shaking violently debating posting this hhh #at least its not very good and not many people like poetry so maybe it wont even get read idk #sorry if you read the tags on my posts. im straight up just having anxiety most of the time