#a bit of a sidebar there but in short i want this character to be actively delusional and not
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one of the reasons i don't particularly want to use dg's semi-canon real name is it also kind of ties nicely into his story w fragment. both of them have a name and a 'normal' life they left in the past because of the hellwave. we don't know and we never will know if flynn and. whoever fragment was would have gotten along but because they met when they did and as who they are it worked.
#one of the things i find personally important when writing fragments story is to highlight that#his delusion isnt... particularly a bad thing. i don't view my psychosis as a bad thing and while#the delusions i get can be upsetting and/or incredibly embarrassing i've found myself to be#somewhat proud of my psychosis? less in a... i'm happy to have it way but in an... this is a part of me way.#and i enjoy who i am. so there's no reason to truly hate this part of me.#a bit of a sidebar there but in short i want this character to be actively delusional and not#at any point try to 'fix' him or show even pity towards the state he's in. it is who he is.#and part of that for me is having him remain like that. for the events of canon at least.#hmmm... hopefully that makes a level of sense. i promise it relates to the actual post somehow.#gush:{🐇}
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hi!! please tell me about lazarus!! i keep seeing your art and the sidebar image on your blog, i would love to know more!!
OHOHOO
I thought I had passed the point where someone who followed me Wouldn't know who Lazarus is... but if you're newer I guess you probably would have missed the Hayday where there were new pictures of him every like.. two days!
but yes, absolutely, I will tell you about the Boy :3c
To start with the Context:
Lazarus Bosch is my Resident Evil Village OC, brought to proverbial life about twoooo months after the game came out as a result of me falling terribly in love with Karl Heisenberg (and the general world of the game) and needing to Do something about it Lmao
He changed a fair bit since his first iterations(none of which made it online), and originally I wasn't going to share him with anyone, but as I gained confidence with my fanart, and as his story kept swirling and growing in my mind, I saw other folks posting about their own OC's and I let go of the Cringe and threw him out into the world (/v-v)/
At this point in time I am working on actually Writing his and Karl's story in the form of a Fan Comic called Flesh and Hot Iron (FaHI, for short)
Now! the boy himself!
Lazarus, before he is anything else, is an artist.
In the old world he made inert mixed-media taxidermy Automata, in The Village he makes sculptures of living flesh using the power of the Cadou.
His art was and Is his world, it is Creation before all else, up to and including his Self Preservation Instincts.
Which is... how he ended up in The Village in the first place really.
He's passionate, frequently obsessive, frantic and often moody, just imagine what it would look like if you took a Mad Scientist and shoved it in the skin of a Pretentious Artist and that's pretty squarely Lazarus at a glance. Elegant and Terrifying, Beautiful and Filthy, a Man with an Inhuman nature...
He's not that simple as a character in the wider scope of his narrative of course, he's got Much more Going On, but we can't be here Forever and also there will be the whole Comic to get into that! (I am also Notoriously bad for expressing these sorts of things in words alone, I need to show that man in Situations to get the point across dfjkghsdg)
as the impetus for his creation would imply he and Karl are Together and the story of their relationship and lives in the Village are the core of the Narrative for FaHI, Though Lazarus is the focal character we see the world through.
I usually describe them as like.. the same note played at different octaves, two harmonious pieces come together to form something great and terrible and resonant, if not just straight up fucking annoying.
Their story is about trying, about wanting to try, about making the best of a bad situation and fumbling your way to something Good when you don't really know what that means, about being human but also being monsters, about loving both Because and In Spite Of, about rage and fear, and of course about Nasty Old Man Sex...
and that.. should theoretically give you the basics!
If you want some more juicy and specific details I Did do a full-detail character-exploration post here!
he also has a character playlist called; Hands in the Belly of the Divine
and him and Karl have a playlist of course called Flesh and Hot Iron !!!
His tag on my blog is Meat Husband, where you can find what is basically a pinterest board of things that have his Vibe, inspiration for his art, and Jokes and Meme's
#monster noises#meat husband#I always feel my descriptions of him as a character are a bit lackluster and don't like.. capture the right picture#but hopefully this is a worthwhile introduction!#if you wish for more specific answers so ask away!#I have not a lot of time to draw my boy these days I may as well Type about him
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How do you feel about the LGBT Guard Department polycule for the ship opinion bingo?
Ooh, this is an interesting one. While they're not my favorite of Rhodes Islands's many polycules, I do still find them pretty interesting on the whole, even if my opinions of them are admittedly not as deep as it prolly could be. It's held back as ever by my progress through the main story being basically at a standstill in Chapter 6, my history with keeping up with Events being just generally really spotty, (the relevant part here being that I've missed out on Dossoles Holiday until it gets added to the permanent sidebar) and my memory of what I have read in either case being a bit fuzzy around the edges.
Still, based on what I have seen of them so far, and bits and bobs I've picked up about where things are heading, I want to see more of them.
Breaking this down into the component ships...
Hoshi/Ch'en: Basically Canon, They're Sweet, Oh The Devotion, They're Exes. I really like Hoshiguma, and while I have to on some level question her taste lol, I mainly want to see this succeed for her sake, because she's very clearly devoted to and into Ch'en. But while I get there is a lot going on with Ms. Cop Supreme that stops her from easily answering in kind, mentally I still just want to shake her by the shoulders and turn her around and politely command her to appreciate the people looking out for her. Also, I hear they basically break up at the end of Chapter 8 so Ch'en can go seek character development elsewhere? Which I do feel is probably good for them in the long run, but still kinda unfortunate in the short-term. :(
Swire/Ch'en: Basically Canon, Fated Enemies, They Enable The Worst, There's No Way This Ends Well, Compatible Brand Of Freaks. Oh, this is the spicy side of the polycule. I've loved their scenes together in Chapter 5, and I've especially enjoyed the fanworks that take that dynamic and just run with it. I'm curious how Ch'en's incoming character development quest may affect those dynamics, but at least as they are presently it's a pretty fun back-and-forth, pretty much the definition of Fight Fight Fight Kiss Kiss Kiss; you just know they've hatefucked in the office more than once. Also seems surprisingly stable despite that intensity, though I'm still sure Hoshi's mediation helps a fair bit.
Hoshi/Swire: Basically Canon, Not Dating Still Married. This side of things I honestly just want to see more of at present. Outside of Hoshi stepping in when she and Ch'en are getting too rowdy, I'm sure there's more to their dynamic, but I just want to see more of what that is before I can really say too much about it. If nothing else, Ch'en's departure seems like it would be good for giving that more of a chance to shine in further Lungmen-focused stories, I just haven't gotten there ^^;
Swire/Lin: Basically Canon, Color Me Intrigued.
Hoshi/Lin and Ch'en/Lin: Not Sure What Relationship But A Relationship For Sure
And then there's the Lin Yushia of it all. Basically, all matters Lin is where my lack of up-to-date-ness really shows, because I know she's an operator on CN now and hopefully soon to be on global, and I think she's been featured in story content leading up to that that I haven't seen. But my knowledge of her is still basically stuck in 2020, where I recall she had a cameo in Code Of Brawl and is the Rat King's daughter, I know she knows the LGD people and Swire in particular, and I think she has a really cool, pretty design.
So, due to that I really don't have as much to say, just that I want to see more of her because she seems neat, and just based on her position at like, the top of Lungmen's bottom, so to speak, I feel like her perspective on things is probably fairly different from the cop trio (In a different way with Hoshi than with Swire and Ch'en) and probably plays off of them in interesting ways.
#not a reblog#asks#arknights#lungmen guard department#hoshiguma arknights#ch'en arknights#swire arknights#lin yushia#lin arknights
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Burrow’s End 3!
Starting this at midnight, will likely pause at some point and finish tomorrow morning :)
Yayyy new party name
And new british thing! How did we get to #36 already?
Just now realizing that these people are the reason that ‘famously’ has entered my lexicon
Yeah they all leveled up A Lot
Character makeup!!
What’s going on with Viola. The makeup has me concerned.
YESSSSS Lila arcane trickster rogue my fucking BELOVED I’m not just saying that bc I’m currently playing an arcane trickster I’m not biased at all what are you talking about
Oh I was so caught up in the arcane trickster stuff that I forgot an important lore thing was happening lemme go back and watch it
God those tongues were horrible
Aabria’s hair looks really nice in this episode
The way we declare things like sidebar in my home game is by loudly saying PAUSE and it’s funny every time
Present tense???
“I’m not him, but I’m here” jesus man
I’m reading way too far into everything but the fact that Jasper’s scar makeup has moved is interesting to me. Why. Was this just artistic choice? Is this indicative of a character thing? Idk
Swifter than the sun faster than the hills oh babe
You’re trying to be good and make your uncle happy but also cult. Be careful babe.
Ooh Erika’s makeup and hair are really cool
Look, check it out :D
Full macbeth
YES I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT
Ohhh their colors. Everyone in earth tones except for Rashawn/Viola. Brennan/Tula and the kids in lighter colors, Erika/Ava in darker tones and shades of grey. Jasper/Thorn in dark tones but also blue. God this is why I love costuming. So cool.
Latin?? Dura Mater, Pia Mater
Children?? Prophetic vision??
“It always is what it is” cmon man
How does this cis man so deeply understand what being a daughter is and distill it so perfectly
Am I detecting some envy in having a husband who listens?
Oop
A mErRy BaNd
Ohhh the warning in saying that something she’s interested in is also one of their mother’s interests. That’s a family thing.
Custom background called stoat mom. Full long rest in short amount of time would be such a good feat and make so much sense for it.
Sometimer’s 😭
Funeral rite for the bear oh my god
Oh tears. Just tears.
TWENTY SEVEN INSIGHT
So many of your deeper thoughts must be put away for the sake of moving forward.
Oooooof
Familial duty is such a mindfuck
The FACE
Awww Ava backstory a bit <3
Thompson’s gonna make partner!
The white mascara is such a good touch it really makes the look
Ooh lore time
HAZMAT SUIT
Testing your power through blind fury? Super duper safe.
Let’s hear it for making bad rolls work within the plot!
Augh
Oh yeah this has all been ONE DAY
Healthy coping mechanism!
That was excellent
Speaking of their long rest. I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ll finish the ep in the morning! (Editor's note: I did not. I finished it the next evening. Such is life.)
Yes that is for real how sleep works and how I act when something insane happened in the middle of the night that I couldn’t deal with in the moment
Effective lessons in communication!
OOF
She wants to save her familyyyy
Siblings!
Those aren’t transferable 💀
No one should be mad at anyone, so if you’re ever feeling mad… don’t.
GOOD ONES
Ooh Jaysohn level of Rogue!
I love the overlapping conversations
Izzy and Siobhan are so good at embodying children’s randomness
Izzy WHAT
He’s a cool dude, he’s just being weird right now
Character choices :D
Ooooh the music being so heavily electronic is so interesting to me
Follow your instincts towards the Light?
Why would it have been bulgarian babe
Jesus
Oh that’s actually such a good way to explain that
Love a shenan!
Solid pigeon impression
Yeah a cult leader would have a +9 to performance wouldn’t he
I feel like this should be a wisdom save or smth to not go insane at what’s happening to him rn
W h a t
He is actually so cursed
WOOOOOOO
Oh that is HITTING
She’s so TIRED
Oooh okay next week looks Wild can't wait
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Okay so first thoughts after watching Power of the Doctor, featuring some things I screamed while watching (Spoilers):
-start of the episode is a bit clunky but not a terrible reintroduction to the CyberMasters
-Sacha Dhawan absolutely fucking annihilates every scene he's in my god. Goes absolute apeshit nuts. I love it
-THE CLASSIC MASTER LINES
-AAAAAACE!!!!! TEEEEEGAAAAANNN!!!!
-CLASSIC COMPANIONS MY BELOVEDS!
-Dan...:( really got a short end of the stick I feel like. Kind of abrupt. He and Yaz def had a stronger bond so I like they had a nice goodbye but. Man that felt so cut off.
-I bet the Four inside Thirteen felt(tm) that poor Dalek, knowing that it was right that they failed their original purpose to help the Kaleds survive. "That poor Dalek" my god but I did feel so bad :(
-the way Ace calls The Master out on being a catboy cleared my acne, watered my crops, boosted my serotonin
-also the unhinged way The Master was so delighted that the armed troops were for him. Am I gOIng tO UNIT??? You doughnut. Bastard man. I can't help but enjoy watching you chew up every scene!!
-VINDER!!!!
-YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS!!! THE TARDIS LISTENING TO YAZ!!!
-the fucking memes don't even do it justice. The Master fucking blasting Rasputin. Was playing Rasputin just a cover so he could blast this song? I would believe it. It's absolutely 10000% in character.
-oh SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! DHAWAN!DOCTOR!MASTER???!!
-Don't mind me casually breaking the sound barrier when 5 shows up to Tegan and mentions Adric. A single word. A single name. And I screech loud enough to hear 10 miles away.
-KATE STEWART DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE ARE OKAY FIRST BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE YOU DOUGHNUT!!!!!!!
-Yaz my angel my beloved you rockstar FUCK HIM UP <3
-sidebar Sacha Dhawan rocks in 13's outfit (and maybe that's why the Beeb was afraid of DT in it...too much power 😔). And then that fucking mismatch. The SWEATER. I CAN'T.
-8 ILYSM bb your sass always appreciated. Bonus, CLASSIC DOCTORS BABEY!!!
-sideside note. Sentient energy creature thing? Cool af. Wish we got a tad bit more time exploring that but only so much time alas.
-Yaz you brilliant love. And VINDER!!! I'M FREELANCE!!! HELL YEAH YOU ARE GET HIS ASS!!!!
-RUTH FUGITIVE DOCTOR HELLO BB YOU SLAY EVEN AS A HOLOGRAM
-dont make me go back to being me ow wow that actually hurt a bit, and that's how this Master does actually come from Missy
-ACE!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!! AND GRAHAM!!!! GRAHAM BOY!!!!!!! HELLO!!! SHOW EM HOW YOU DID IT IN 1963!
-you made Adric proud Tegan....even if he would be too much of a little shit to say so off the bat, he'd be proud of you....
-Kate's point to herself. That "me?" Moment. My god. Did no one ever take her in the TARDIS? (Stares at 11 and 12)
-Using the Master's TARDIS against his plan (again), excellent. Actual solving of the whole CyberMasterDalek plan? A little shaky. But I'll allow it. Thanks to "a bit crowded. Just how I like it" 13. Honey. Are we having Journey's End flashbacks and missing all your friends in a TARDIS? :( is this a sign
-oof fuck ow ouch I half expected her to be sliced in half with that ray beam but fjdgkd watching too much Vox Machina lately and forgot for a sec that BBC would never be that brutal and I'm glad--
-because we got the CARRY!!! THE LIFT!!! THEM!!!!!!
-hi can you hear the sound of my heart breaking into one million pieces seeing Yaz finally start crying after being so brave and put together through everything. Knowing after everything she STILL loses her Doctor. I'm not okay. I'm not okay!!!!!!! I want more time with her too Yaz!!!! Right here with you!!!!
-"i loved being with you, Yaz" don't!! Mind!! Me!! Screaming crying throwing up!!!!
-still could have at least kissed her hand but. Mmmmmmm the way they look at each other. The way they both acknowledged the love they feel. But Chibnall and BBC are still cowards.
-classic companions!!!!!!!!! Way to bring back the OG holy fuck
-Dan sitting in a room as the newest companion with one of the FIRST companions. Iconic.
-"Look after the next one" HONEY!!!! I'M NOT READY!!!!!
-"Tag, you're it" WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LAST LINE. I'M STILL NOT READY BUT GOD DAMN.
-!and that sunrise regeneration shot!!! Absolutely fucking breathtaking!!!! In tears!!!
-aaannnd then the twist. Clothes regen def throws me a sign that This Is Wrong. We saw MULTIPLE REGENS here my dudes and clothes did not change. This is Important.
- Also fuck off RTD, respectfully, but DT is not Fourteen. He doesn't get to have two whole numbered lives after *everything else he got already.* Fourteen is Ncuti thank you the fuck much. He was announced first, and we all celebrated him as 14 first. So there.
#flowerspeak#doctor who#power of the doctor#doctor who spoilers#classic who#long post#do i need to tag everyone and everything uh#13th doctor#thirteenth doctor#yasmin khan#tegan jovanka#ace mcshane#kate lethbridge stewart#dhawan!master#dan lewis#this is long enough i think#I'm so sorry
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how do you use sounds on shorts. I’m trying to use dare to make a video about my friends goofy ass names for gorillaz characters. I’m on an iPhone btw (website) you mentioned doing this before on one of my posts
as an android user idk if it's the same on iphone but at the little bottom menu there should be a plus in the middle
(ignore my playlist titles lmao) but if you click on it, a little menu should come up. click the one that says 'create a short'
you'll be greeted by a screen like this. click the button at the top labelled 'add sound'
once you click that, you'll be greeted by a screen with a bunch of songs. there's a search bar at the top for you to find whatever song you need.
after you find the song you need, you can click it. it won't select it right away, but it plays a short snippet of it and a blue arrow pops up next to it. click the arrow
now that you've clicked it, it should guide you back to the camera. you can adjust which part of the song you would like to use by clicking it at the top here and dragging this slidey (for lack of a better word) part to where you want it to be
oh and shorts with sounds can only record up to 15 seconds, but if you need more of the song you can do what i do and make a series of shorts beginning with where i want the audio to start and in each video picking up where it left off and editing them together in whatever editing site you have (this part takes a bit of patience which i don't have but you get used to it ig)
i would suggest if you want longer than the 15-second snippet, for all of the shorts that are supposed to pick up where the others left off, you shouldn't pick up exactly and leave just a little bit of the very end of the previous short so when you edit it together you don't run the risk of the audio fading out. even if the audio isn't perfectly put together to form the song, it'll sound better than a constant fading after every 15 seconds. i hope this isn't too complicated!!
bonus part: downloading the shorts
ok so i've had trouble in the past downloading shorts so this will 100% work if you have a computer. if you don't have a computer, i'm not entirely sure if it'll work so i'm very sorry if it doesn't but basically, go to studio.youtube.com in your browser
you might have to zoom in to the page, but click the second button down on the sidebar that appears
you should see your shorts appear here. click them, then click the three dots that appear (be careful where you click, make sure you do it off to the far right side so you don't end up clicking on the short and being forced to edit it or something)
now, once you click these three dots, a dropdown menu should appear. click 'download' and you should have the video
i hope this helps!! i'm really sorry if it doesn't work, and i hope this wasn't too much info to take it at once (i know it's a lot lol i'm sorryyy) but i hope this works for you :)
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Run-on Review Anthology: Algernon Blackwood
Wake up besties, new fave early 20th century horror/weird fiction short story writer just dropped~
~Algernon Blackwood~
Fig. 1) This guy right here
As someone who was introduced to the genre via HP Lovecraft, here are several reasons why the work of our boy Algernon could be considered better than his contemporary and/or worth your time to read:
-Runs the literary gamut between truly horrifying and joyfully awe-inspiring. Scary not your thing? Al's got you covered!
-Writes in many different formats: short stories, longer novels, even plays! Entertainment for every occasion! (In this post I'll be focusing on short stories because that's my favorite format, but I'll be reading some of his novels in the future!)
-No commitment that I've seen to far to an internally consistent world (a la the Lovecraft Cinematic Universe), allowing him to explore many different themes, settings, and source material
-Absolutely gorgeous and immersive descriptions of place and vibe
-Actually usually describes things very well, instead of leaning on the cosmic horror trope of "oH nooOo it'S TOOo indescrIBAble"
-As far as I can tell so far, is not particularly racist or xenophobic for the time, especially when compared to HP "Hyper-pRacist" Lovecraft
(sidebar; I don't think it's correct to write off the works of long-dead authors due to things that are considered problematic today; however, it's hard to get around that some things are just plain uncomfortable to read with modern eyes. I think that providing context and disclaimers is important, but given that these people are too dead to profit from their work, I don't generally feel bad discussing, recommending, or purchasing their writing)
---
Run On Reviews of Algernon Blackwood Short Stories
The Touch of Pan (originally read in The Moons At Your Door, pdf version linked here): Really really love this one, first one I read by him in a multi-author anthology, it's a comfort read that I keep coming back to, definitely on the joyful/awe end of the spectrum, does refer to idiocy/lunacy but in a way that vibes with me personally neurodivergently and spins it as a neutral-positive thing misunderstood by society at large, lovely lovely lovely, 10/10
The Empty House (originally read in The Algernon Blackwood Collection, it's the first story in the linked pdf): Very solid and intimate ghost story, told through the emotional state of the characters as much as the actually environment and goings-on, spooky but not extremely scary, 7/10
The Damned (originally read in the ABC, pdf link): Excellent haunted house/something's real weird around here story, ever so gradually increases the tension and unsettling feel of the place in inventive modes of discovery, the ending peters out a bit for me but all in all a good read, 8.5/10
The Willows (og ABC, linked): Holy shit yeah this is what I'm fucking TALKING ABOUT this is atmospheric horror done so so right, moody and isolating and creepy and scary, this is the one with the gay subtext you may have heard about, there's a good reason this one is included in so many anthologies, if you can only read one read this one, 10/10
The Wendigo (og ABC, linked): Closest to a "classic" wilderness monster story I'm reviewing here, it's the longest read but well worth it, you can see where it's going pretty early on but it somehow still gets creepier and weirder and worse and oh god kill it, you'll either love it or hate it if you've binged creepypastas and greentext horror stories like I have, this one does have some problematic racial language (reference to an "N-word bar" in describing a black bar, referring to the native american character as "red" and in some "noble savage"-esque ways), as well as colonial-ish "ahaha we're men going on an adventure to unspoiled land pip pip cheerio," but if you can stomach that it's a truly unnerving story that will make you never want to camping ever again in your life, 9/10
Ancient Sorceries (originally read in the Ancient Sorceries anthology, pdf linked): I so badly wanted to like this one more, the setting is absolutely magical and the buildup is excellent, but it kind of runs out of steam for me with the reveal (which isn't super fair bc this story predates all the works that make the reveal a tired trope in my mind), still would recommend a gander, 10/10 up until part IV, 6/10 after, overall 8/10
The Listener (og AS, linked here): If there's one to skip in this whole list it'd be this one, another ghost story but not as good as others mentioned here, I think I may be missing historical context that would add weight to the horror (I wont spoil, but if you read it and know more about the subject of the reveal, please enlighten me), still a nice little mystery with some interesting characters and a creepy ghost, 5/10
The Sea Fit (og AS, linked here): Finishing out somewhat strong, extremely compact yet very dense, no wasted words, but paints extremely clear characters, setting, and events, somebody please make this a short film I will throw money at the kickstarter, spooky and unsettling but slightly more on the awe-inspiring end of the spectrum, 9/10
#all of these are public domain frankly I'd love to see films and animations of his work#take my money#algernon blackwood#blackwood#horror stories#short stories#book review#weird fiction#the touch of pan#the willows#run-on review#ror
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for the writer asks: 2, 16, 37, and 49 >:3
2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?
I am going to note - this is heavily weighted by all of those Maximoff fics I wrote. So... they're certainly accurate to my writing history, but I do intend to change it (somewhat) with my fics going forward - though I suspect Character Study, Canon Compliant and Canon-Divergence are gonna remain big ones regardless.
16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?
I don't know about would love to read but... periodically I return to this one HP fic - the Sacrifices Arc by Lightning on the Wave. It's just... such a good AU, it carries to logical conclusions things JKR didn't, it does some fantastic worldbuilding, it's writing is gorgeous and it has such a good perspective on trauma and healing and free will and moving forwards. It's so good.
It's also really long, so I have to set aside time for reading it.
37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?
Oh god, uh...
If it's a "deep cut", where I think I got a specific perspective some miss or that it sees something often overlooked in fandom I guess...
Probably my trio of short (as in, two of them are under 1k, short) Bucky Barnes fics? Another's Hand - Bucky's thoughts about the arm, a patient etherized - about Bucky's brainwashing and then Puzzle Pieces about his fragmented memory.
I'm genuinely incredibly proud of all of them and despite leaving the MCU fandom I do get a little thrill when they get noticed again.
49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
Cheeky cheeky.
Currently I'm working on the two chapters yet unfinished (though each half written) for the Ghost Cass interlude. A snippet:
“You would teach the children?” [Erelwae] asks, as they sip their tea - it’s got a strange mustiness to it this time, a bit like the gnome’s ear fungus tea from when they’d last visited but without the softening influence of mint and chamomile. It is winter, Vax supposes. It makes sense that, with a limited supply of plants, she might supplement it with what she can forage from the caves.
“We’ve had some run-ins,” Vex says, gesturing. “Some of us managed to fall into the Crystalfens and we seem to keep on coming across cases where some idea of how to navigate caves and the Underdark would be useful. So- I was thinking about perhaps asking you to teach me? The language and how to survive below. And in exchange, Vax and I can teach the children Common - perhaps even Elvish, if you want.”
There’s a pinched look on Erelwae’s face but Vax thinks he can guess at the origin of that.
“Elves are shits,” he says, to forestall any response. “But this way, they’d know if any elf is talking about them behind their backs - and what’s being said.”
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Jess said no to the reaper because she was in a panic as she watched Sam nearly get himself burned up with her. She didn't know what’s going to happen but all she was thinking about was how hard Sam’s going to feel the guilt over her death and that he had no idea that it was Brady that had killed her. While she had seen firsthand that Dean would be there to protect Sam, but she didn't know him, so she couldn't fully trust him, especially after Sam was so secretive about his family. A part of her worried about them becoming alienated from each other with the fallout of her death because Dean had taken Sam out of town after all.
Sam and Jess's apartment building was almost completely burned up. With almost none of her possessions surviving the fire, her spirit attached instead to a necklace that Sam had gotten her for her birthday that year. She had accidentally left it at her parent's home last time she had visited them. Her father had meant to drive it out to her, but he hadn't gotten around to it. This left the ghost of Jess to silently watch her family learn of her death and start grieving as they planned her funeral in San Francisco.
The boys spent a week in Palo Alto after Jessica’s death. Her father went to Stanford in search of some of her artwork and if anything had been salvageable from the fire. He gave the necklace to Sam, with a tearful speech about how Jess would have wanted him to have it. He also let Sam know that he was there for him and offered him a place to stay if he needed it. Many of the people that had known Jess on campus had made the drive to San Francisco to attend her funeral.
After that, Jess realized that she was chained to the necklace, silently on the road alongside Sam and Dean. She tried to talk to Sam, move objects... anything to get him to notice her but she continued to fall short. Her frustration ebbed and flowed, but she never quite reached the point where her rage was enough for her presence to finally be seen. Desperately, she wished that she had simply went along with the reaper. There was no way for her to soothe Sam's guilt. She instead got to stay silently beside him firsthand, watching him grieve and feel guilt about her.
She was not always there to see the horrors of all of the monsters the brothers are initially chasing down as it is all dependent on whether Sam has the necklace on him or not. Notably, she was there for the Bloody Mary case, watching as Sam's guilt manifested in the mirror. She was not present for anything in the house in Lawrence, but she did hear Sam's confession that he had seen her death before it happened. Jess received some ghostly advice from some of the ghosts in the asylum in Rockford. This started her on the path of hopefully soon being able to get Sam to set her soul free before she toes the line of becoming vengeful in any capacity.
It still was a long while before she could get herself to move anything or be seen by Sam. She was with Sam for the case with Cassie and the haunted painting. Horrified, she was left in the impala when the crash that eventually led to John's death happened. She was pretty upset to hear what John had said about Sam and tried like hell to make her presence known to comfort him, but again this was to no avail. She remained, watching some of the cases they worked until they met Madison.
Jessica did feel for the woman, but it was hard to be there watching Sam finally let himself move on past a little bit of a kiss. Luckily, she was able to move freely around the apartment and did not see their intimacy, but she did hear it. In the motel room after he killed Madison, Jessica was finally able to make her ghost visible... terrible timing. The pain that she was stuck watching and had been unable to help him with anything while he moved on from her had finally pushed her over the edge. Her first sentence to him was a tearful plea.
"Sam... I need your help."
sidebar about her reaction to watching Sam & certain characters:
Lori Sorenson - she’s jealous as hell, primarily because seeing Sam kiss someone else for the first time, no matter how brief really got her stomach churning especially because she’s right there with him and he has no idea. she’s also a bit more of a simple, reserved girl and jess wonders if that’s what he would have preferred in her.
Meg 1.0 first encounter - boy how do you not see that she’s weirdly attaching to you so early?? i don’t trust her?? how did she end up at the bus station with you and why was she so insistent on ‘come to california with me uwu’ like girl back up. at least he got his head on straight to stick to his guns about finding dean, despite her insistence.
John - she doesn't know what to think. she's upset that he didn't show up when Dean was dying. Happy to see that he and Sam worked out some of their issues over John's mistakes. Angry as hell to hear that he told Dean to kill Sam if he became evil. He should know that Sam is not capable of that. If John had still been alive she might have become vengeful in that moment.
Sarah Blake - no dean she’s so hot and badass wtf and i’m right here. no, i’m not okay with it
Ellen, Jo, & Ash - heart eyes, HEART EYES
Gordon Walker - come on boys just kill this motherfucker. seems like a monster to me.
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Would You mind going into depth about sucide squad Vic Sage?
Absolutely! So this appearance of Vic Sage, from New Suicide Squad (2015) #1-16 (i believe 16 is his last appearance? correct me on this if I'm wrong) is NOT The Question. I mean that literally, this is just Victor Sage, government agent. If he is The Question, it's never mentioned, even as a sidebar (which you'd think would be kind of relevant for a superspy metahuman secret government assassination project to at least like... mention...) which leads me to believe that this Vic likely never went through the events that led him to meeting Tot Rodor, donning the pseudoderm mask, and becoming the first Question.
When it comes to personality, I'll give them some leeway. Obviously if he never became the Question, he:
Has a lot of pent up rage that manifests itself in weird ways
Never had the near death experience from the 80's Question run, meaning he's going to be especially insufferable and irritating (even for him!)
With this in mind, it's... somewhat understandable from an in universe perspective? sorta? that he would be a little bit out of character? But in New Suicide Squad, Vic is hyperviolent, short sighted, and just flat out mean. Not in a fun sarcastic way, either. He's just a 1-dimensional antagonist to Amanda Waller, and his motivations seem to be "I want to get top clearance so I can blow people up whenever I want!" (literally, every single conflict he experiences boils down to him wanting to activate the failsafe explosives embedded in the necks of the Suicide Squad members. every time. that's all he seems to want.) He's constantly throwing violent tantrums because they won't let him do that, getting illogically angry at Amanda Waller for wanting him to think through plans instead of sending operatives into the wrong places and blowing them up when it doesn't work out, and making bad plans that seem obvious that they would fail. He's basically a giant, entitled toddler (and Waller says that about him as well).
From an external, non-universe POV, I honestly don't know why they picked Sage to be this kind of one dimensional antagonist. Sure, it's alright to have him in stories and not be The Question. I mean, he was in a few Green Arrow comics as plain old Vic. But to have it not even be brought up, or seemingly a trait that exists at all, makes it sort of a strange decision to boil him down like this. He's completely out of character, isn't the question, and has motivations completely unimaginable from the perspective of the Vic Sage we know from his established history. I'm really sure there were characters they could have picked for this. Hell, they could have... you know... made one up? Why butcher my boy like this?
Anyway, I find it very hard to believe this is a Sage similar to our beloved Vic.
ALSO! At one point, he takes a bribe from a mysterious, likely corrupt group to further his own interests, which we know Vic would never do!
Vic has a strong moral code that this imposter from New Suicide Squad really doesn't have. "Personal Gain" isn't why he does this. In this story, though......
sigh. Anyway, definitely not the Sage we all know and love. Merely a jerk wearing his face. Disappointing.
#long post#ask#timdrakessweatyhands#vic sage#the question#new suicide squad#book club#comics#dc comics
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You've had a makeover! I like the contrast of the black and white dots to the rainbow ones. Did you find out if your person is okay?! I also did not realise I had ignored your questions. Please forgive my oversight :-(( I don't play fortnite anymore! My macbook Does Not Like it and I did download it onto the playstation but couldn't be bothered getting to grips with the controls so I gave up </3 But I did win a game once! Do you always do the classic 'gotta be the last one left out of 100' or do
you ever do that one where there's like two teams? Do you play solo or do you have fortnite friends? Other things I am into atm: sudoko, origami, and Taylor Swift. What are some subreddits you enjoy? i will say that I do spend a couple of hours a day on tiktok :/ but usually only when I go to bed and when I'm on my lunch break at work for some mindless entertainment. I don't feel good about it. But I get some chuckles every now and then. And there are always cute dog videos so who could say no?!
I'm glad it's not just me that's nostalgic for lockdown! Feels a bit weird to say that but I genuinely miss the one way systems at supermarkets and the like. I haven't seen any films on your two most recent lists (except for Mrs Doubtfire) but I have watched some youtube commentaries on the Vanessa Hudgens ones and got the impression that they weren't that great :/ Who are you watching on youtube these days? I did like Folklore and Evermore! I didn't love Folklore too much at first (as it came out when I wasn't listening to her all that much, and I don't really like soft-acoustic-y music so much) but it's really grown on me over the last couple of years and these days, she's all I listen to <3 From Folklore my faves are My Tears Ricochet and The Lakes, and from Evermore my faves are Champagne Problems, Gold Rush and Cowboy Like Me. Which album re-record are you most looking forward to? My other fave songs are Long Live, All Too Well, Out of the Woods, and Forever and Always.
I'm also very sorry for the amount of notifications you're about to get from me. BUT do you still follow Jedward and what they're up to?!
anon you are back!! I was wondering how long it would be until you replied again, if it would be weeks or months or years lol. I wasn’t expecting days! (I also didn’t know how long ago you sent the previous messages cos I had no timestamps in my inbox when I replied to them - when was it??)
I did have a makeover. the garrett watts sidebar image didn’t seem appropriate anymore so I just pulled my most random/non-fandom-related gif of mine out lol.
my person hasn’t posted since about 2019. I’m hoping they’re ok and just taking another tumblr break cos they’ve done that before.
and I forgive your oversight :D I understand the vibe of your macbook Not Liking It. mine didn’t either, so I installed Windows a couple of years ago and play from there (and also have the game graphics set incredibly low and my fans on an increased speed. it does ok tbh). amazing congrats on your win!!! I do have a couple of friends so usually play duos/trios - it’s very, very rare for me to play solos. I think I would get lonely and frustrated dying alone lol. on occasion I play squads with random fill friends (but sometimes those people are not so nice). maybe you need to install windows tbh and resume your fn career :D
subreddits, mostly I read AITA and relationships ones. so basically just people complaining about their life problems lol. how about you? which good ones am I missing?
youtube has been showing me tiktoks as youtube shorts so I have been spending lots of time on these for the past few weeks. currently the algorithm thinks I want to see a mixture of: engagement rings being handcrafted, a comedian lady who pretends to be an annoying mother/teacher character, a man cooking lunch for his wife, horses getting new horseshoes put on, golden retrievers, cakes being frosted, and tiktok fashion girls trying on clothes. what all things does tiktok show you??
the Knight Before Christmas was not good. BUT I did kinda like the Princess Switch ones lol. they were fun and easy to watch if you just want a happy albeit cheesy and I’m-definitely-older-than-the-target-audience-for-this movie and not a Serious Cinematic Marvel.
youtubeeeeee I’m watching mostly hmmm. (edit: this was originally going to be a short list but it turned out longer than I expected): simply nailogical (esp. her podcasts), jammidodger and shaaba (highly recommend), molly burke, tom scott, ryland adams, hannah witton, jessica kellgren-fozard, carrie hope fletcher, louise pentland, vlogbrothers, a few fortnite youtubers, and the Cut and Jubilee channels. do you watch any of those? who are you watching?
I am a Bad Fan maybe cos I’m not getting the Taylor’s Version songs. I have all my music in iTunes so it’s not like I’m streaming and giving revenue for the old versions, but I like how the old ones sound for nostalgia and don’t want 2 of everything. but I have listened to some of the new ones to compare. and I have been getting any new ones that were previously-unrelated / From The Vault etc. sooooo I guess I’m not excited for any re-records specifically, but I will be interested to see how they sound. do you have the old or new versions?
jedward no lol. are they up to anything? occasionally I stumble across a tweet of theirs and I’ve noticed they now swear openly in tweets which I found amusing and not unexpected. and generally call out people for bad human rights / sexism / other isms. which I guess matches with 2011/12 jedward except now it comes with less sneakiness and more swears lol.
this is such a long post. I hope my multitude of decimated followers have had a most enjoyable read :D
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The Finders Commission by Deborah Sherwood
============= Links
Play the game (IFComp)
See other reviews of the game
============= Synopsis
You've been hired to recover a priceless Egyptian artifact from a traveling antique show. Security is tight and the officer in charge has a history with you. Explore the show, find the artifact, avoid the officers and snatch the prize before some one else does. Oh, and you might fall in love along the way. Includes game stats and gender choices.
============= Other Info
The Finders Commission is a Twine(SugarCube) game, submitted to the 2023 edition of the IFComp
Status: Completed
Genre: Heist
CW: /
============= Playthrough
Played: 15-Oct-2023
Playtime: about 1h+ (92/100 score)
Rating: - [IFComp vote]
Thoughts: Running around like a mad man
============= Review
The Finders Commission is a relatively short game, set as some sort of escape-room-puzzle piece where you are tasked to retrieve an artifact from an exposition, in broad daylight. There are 5 characters to choose from (though I am not sure whether they influenced the gameplay) and a handful of different puzzles to interact with. There are two endings: you retrieve the item or are caught trying. I reached the score of 92/100 after a restart.
Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.
TFC takes the campy traits of heist story, with the strange buyer requiring your help*, the security officer that has a tooth against you, the maybe-naive damsel/himbo that slip out important information, and the sneaky exit... The puzzles are diverse and interconnected, some requiring manipulation of an object, others to find a specific object to interact with another, and some to distract NPCs to enter new rooms. And there's a maze-like feel to the main location.
*I don't know whether it was a jab at like the British Museum losing artefacts recently or not wanting to give some back, but the thought of it being the case was funny :P
I played the game twice essentially, one where I felt completely lost, interacting with anything I could, solving puzzles a bit at random, and hoping for the best... and finding myself stuck, unable to find a way into a certain room to get the item to unlock the case with the artefact. Turns out, you have to interact not just with objects around you, but with NPCs (which I thought was a bit weird, you don't really want attention on you). So the second time around was easier... Though I still found myself running around the place, even after getting the map*.
*would have been nice to find a map at the start, with more indication of displayed elements on it. It's a gallery after all... and it's a bit hidden within the satchel, I would have put it in the sidebar imo. Or the rooms each have a name, like with parsers.
It was a bit bizarre to not be able to examine the case until you open it (a nice description of the item could add to the vibe, maybe staying too long would have the security guard be extra suspicious of you), or even examine anything that wasn't puzzle-related object (as a way to "blend" with the other visitors). Also a bit of a shame not to be able to interact with your rival or find a way to have them getting caught (they were really sus), or with the guard (I'm a sucker for taunting your "enemies" even if it would lead to a bad ending), or even further with the tour guide (I was promised romance ;-;*). I was a bit confused too with the need to include other locations, since you don't really have anything you can do there (unless it's the locations for future episode?).
*since the subtitle was Episode 1, maybe they'll be back in the next episode?
TFC is the kind of puzzle game that when you get it, it's smooth as butter... but if you struggle finding things or examine something at the wrong time or don't follow the steps as intended, it can become quite frustrating. With a bit more tweaks here and there, it could make for a well-rounded game.
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alright, i’m getting nowhere with this. i gotta ramble for a bit. everything’s below the cut for your convenience.
so yesterday i posted a short little kamen rider factoid about everyone’s favorite obscure corner of the fandom, Card Warrior Kamen Rider. specifically, the post was about Kamen Rider Kaixa’s form in the toyline, Kaixa Chaosdile, since yesterday was Kaixa Day and I wanted to be festive.
in a followup reply to that post, i linked to a website i found containing a bunch more pictures and presumably info about the form. i say presumably because, at least for me, that page looks like this:
yeah i’m no expert but i don’t think that’s japanese. the website itself is japanese, since the sidebar has a link to the hosting service’s homepage that’s written in legible japanese, but the rest of the site looks like a calculus textbook exploded.
“no big deal” i foolishly thought. “it looks like an old website. its probably just an issue with how the text is encoded”. i’ve tried like 5 or 6 different unicode/utf8/ISO-2022-JP/character-encoding decoders and have yet to get any further than changing the tall boxes to cent signs.
“alright maybe it’s mojibake” i again foolishly thought. if you aren’t aware, mojibake is basically when chinese, japanese, or korean text is garbled by incorrect text encoding. it usually takes the symbols in those languages and spits out a bunch of characters from other languages. i ran the text thru a mojibake decoder and… nothing. the text didn’t even change!
so now, i have no idea what else to try. dcode thought it might be leetspeak (which i’m fluent in; it’s not) or an ascii cipher but i can’t imagine someone would make a website, presumably filled with information, and then put all the text in a cipher.
if you want to give it a shot, here’s the page containing all the Card Warrior figures, because my phone is being stupid and won’t show me the page for just Kaixa:
saibikan.web.fc2.com/garden/cw
^ also just wanna complain a bit more; i had to type that by hand because now tumblr won’t let me paste it in from safari. i hate technology sometimes >:(
#rant post#ramblings#am angy >:(#unicode#text encoding#utf 8#windows 1258#or whatever it’s called#idk there’s too many encoding formats#and none of them have even worked for this#please if anyone’s got even the slightest clue of what’s going on with this could you please help#i’m at the end of my fuckin rope here
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((Session 57 is wrapped!))
We met in person bc Bagelby's player called us last-minute and said "hey guys we're in town this week wanna meet up?" and I had absolutely NO time to prepare something special.
It led to the single greatest bit I have ever been a part of I can't even be mad.
The session began with the party settled into a booth at the Pancake Pyramid, squeezed between their stack of demigod-borrowed books and equally tall stacks of pancakes.
IRL, Ena and Sir Carl Jaeger's players made us actual chocolate chip pancakes, which were ravenously devoured.
The party received a Tabaxi Postal Service delivery as they ate, including:
A letter from Michael to Ena, trying to parse out a memory (of Ena's player's choosing) that he thought he could remember.
A duel-letter from Crown Prince Kemat and Princess Maji to Asahi, Kemat's telling her to "keep her wife out of his room" (he found some of the dick crystals), and Maji's asking if she had "done the thing yet" (she hadn't).
A letter to Thiori from Tyr, one of his adopted children, detailing how they were on the run from the guard because Atrodak had gotten caught with alcohol and Orelena and Taco Bako chose to break him out of holding instead of bribing the guard (Thiori is very proud).
A letter to Bagelby from Velenna, asking how his 'spell testing' had going, and that Sonya (his mother) says hello (this letter also included a box of assorted slugs).
A folded up drawing of a goat blowing a raspberry for Lex, signed by a mysterious "V".
A short letter to Sir Carl Jaeger from his 'missing' squire Chessifur, saying that he was alright, and nearby.
There was also a letter addressed to the party from Captain Astaroth, which Asahi opened and read for them, informing them of a Sunfell cult camp that had been reported on the coast nearby and requesting that they meet with his agent to take care of it.
They somehow managed to fit all of their books into their bags with some sweet Tetris checks, paid their tab with actual money (*singing* I wasn't aware that was something they knew how to do~), and headed for the beach.
Astaroth's agent is Koira - an awakened dog wearing half-plate armor. She was my old character from the same campaign Dynamite was a part of.
Koira is very cheerful and easily swayed by head scratches.
The party managed to sneak up on the Sunfell camp (whose combat I threw together in between customers at work on assorted sticky notes), and....did NOT go charging in as expected.
Instead, Bagelby and Lex decided to dress up as their elderly alter-egos, 'Slugmo' and 'Babushka', and pose as simple old people walking their totally normal dog down the beach as a distraction so the rest of the players could sneak in.
Asahi: "Sorry Thiori, we'll try your idea next time."
Thiori, sadly putting a sexy red dress back into his bag: "Aww..."
Listen we just riffed until we couldn't breathe from laughing from here on out and I'm only writing these notes the next day so here's just a few snippets that I can still remember clearly.
Koira: "Why didn't you TELL me my mother was a Dalmation?!"
Bagelby, as 'Slugmo': "We didn't want it to define your life!"
Bagelby being naked from the waist down because he thought having Koira run around with his pants would help sell their cover story and nobody rolled high enough to argue.
'Slugmo': "We raise you from puppyhood and this is how you repay us?"
Koira, tearfully: "You're not my real parents!"
'Babushka', furiously: "How dare you! I birthed you from my own body!"
Sidebar I am so proud of Lex's player she joined us not so long ago having no idea how to handle the 'RP' part of 'TTRPG' and look at her now.
All six cultists rolled - and continued to roll - too low to notice the rest of the party sneaking up on them from the other direction, and wandered out of camp to watch the drama happening on the beach.
Asahi, Sir Carl Jaeger, and Thiori sneaked into the largest tent and found a ton of research equipment and papers.
Asahi swiped all the papers she could find, but they appear to be written in some form of ancient Draconic, which no-one in the party can read.
Sir Carl found a memory stone carefully elevated on a glassware stand, and - despite being intelligent enough to know about memory stones and how they work - grabbed it with his bare hands anyway.
He lived through a brief memory of an unknown child (actually Michael, but Sir Carl hasn't been filled in on that part of the party's pre-him shenanigans yet) traveling with a part of an Orc, an Elf, a Human, and an Owlin. The Owlin ruffled his hair, and then he was back in the tent again.
Asahi used her handkerchief to wrap up the stone, and sarcastically thanked him for not licking it, first.
In the next tent, Sir Carl found a well-loved toy of an owlbear among the jumble of bedrolls and personal affects. Knowing that Ena planned to burn everything to the ground once they left, he took the toy with him.
In the last tent, Thiori found more research papers, and a bunch of sketches from various artists depicting some sort of tower filled with shelves and crystals. He grabbed all of them and gave them to Asahi.
Meanwhile, Ena found a barrel of flammable liquid used for lighting the camp lamps and happily began rolling it all over the site like Bugs Bunny laying a line of cartoon gunpowder.
The cultists have been divided into three camps: A) The dog deserves her freedom!, B) No, she needs to respect her parents!, and C) It's a DOG what is WRONG with you people!
Asahi told Thiori to 'go help with the distraction', as she didn't want to risk Ena getting caught before she had finished her arson set-up, and he whipped out that red dress and had it on before the end of the round.
Thiori, crabwalking out from behind a rock with his claws in the air and his human hands on his hips: "My love, is that you?"
'Slugmo', gasping: "WHO IS THIS WHORE COMING FOR MY DAUGHTER?!"
Koira: "FATHER PLEASE I LOVE HIM!"
We had to pause the bit because Asahi's player had an asthma attack from laughing too hard.
The session ended with the rest of the party fleeing down the beach as Ena blew up the camp. Whether the cultists survive or not will depend on how funny I think it will be in a week or so. XD
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Wednesday Reading Meme - Nov 23 2022
What I've Read
The Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison - (Cemetaries of Amalo #2) This is the second novel focusing on Thara Celehar, who combines Father Brown with noir detective in a fantasy Victorian setting. This book will not make much sense without the previous two books in this universe, the wildly popular Goblin Emperor and the first book on Celehar's life, Witness for the Dead. I really enjoyed this novel - it's got an overarching plot around the murders of a noblewoman and a foundling child, but also combines moments of gentle episodes with other people who come to ask Celehar for help speaking to the dead on more mundane matters (like finding where a recently deceased baker hid his famous scone recipe before he died). The main plot is not quite as tight as the Witness for the Dead, but I am here for the smaller scale that allowed some of the personal relationships that Celehar created and sustained in the last novel to breathe. Addison, aka Sarah Monette, is a great writer and I would generally recommend this. I suspect from the ending, which wraps up some of the emotional threads of the books but not all, is leading to a third book ... and a quick check confirms that. (And also that there are two short stories in this series that I had no idea where there.) I don't suggest reading this book without reading the Goblin Emperor first, which does most of the heavy lifting on the worldbuilding.
Whale Rider by Witi Ihimaera - This is from 1987, there was a film in 2002 which was when I heard of this. I really enjoyed this novel, which was not much like what I expected! Ihimaera has a really clear voice and while the novel does some explaining for a non-Maori audience, I had the feeling of being a bit slow on the mark at certain points - which I usually take to be the sign of a book written from a cultural perspective that's different enough from mine that the editors haven't totally Americanized it. Tho this book focuses on a child, Kahu, the great-granddaughter of a Maori tribal leader, Aripana, Kahu is not the main perspective. The narrator is Aripana's adult grandson, Kahu's uncle, who views his family and community with affection, respect, and occasional irony. In places, this is a hard read - Aripana is dismissive and unkind to his great-grandchild because she's not a boy and therefore, he thinks, not worthy of a leadership role. But the book makes a point that his viewpoint is countered from within the community. While there are White characters and culture in this book, there isn't a "Nice White Person" character to distract from the actual narrative. I do think Apipana had a really important drive for cultural preservation, which makes a strong case that Maori identity and worldview has a specific lens to view the world- losing that lens would be devastating to their community and culture, and Aripana's greatest efforts are focused on preserving it and passing it on to the younger generation. (Sidebar: I am nearly certain the narrator, Rawiri, is queer - he seems like he has a romance with a man that takes him to Papua New Guinea for a couple of years, tho nothing is explicit. Ihimaera is gay and I looked up an interview with him that alluded to his childhood having some commonalities with Kahu's. I was delighted to stumble across a queer writer when I wasn't expecting the family connection.) I thought this was a great book, I am glad my expectations about a blandly cute childhood story were challenged. I've ordered more books by Ihimaera from the library now.
I read a bunch of fic, but nothing even approaching the 50K mark so none of it really makes the cut.
What I'm Reading
Westerns: Making the Man in Fiction and Film by Lee Clark Mitchell -For the Great Queer Supernatural ReWatch - on Chapter 6, and we are finally getting firmly into the realm of film Westerns, rather than novels. Chap 5 made me want to re-read Mary Rowlandson's captivity narrative.
Moby Dick by Herman Melville - Look. So, I kind of flopped out of Dracula Daily but I did sign up for Whale Weekly, where you read Moby Dick in the traditional order in the form of emails sent to your inbox. I'm here for the wild nonsense Ishmael is selling. It's already really goofy and I have too much history of the Essex to not enjoy the irony of the start.
2312 by Kim Stanley Robinson - Book Club - This is slower going now. I thought that a Big Spoiler plot event that I had heard about would take place somewhere in the latter quarter of the book. Instead it took place in the front half, and I'm tied up with trying to figure out where the plot can go from here. When I have something I'm not super enthralled to read, I often like to have a spoiler or two to help me engage with the plot and keep momentum up.
What I'll Read Next
Library books in the house:
Maul: Lockdown - Joe Schreiber
Tiger's Daughter - K Arsenault Rivera
Riot Baby - Rochi Onyeuchi
The Silence of the Wilting Skin - Tlotlo Tsamaase
An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon
Newly purchased: At The Feet of the Sun by Victoria Goddard, Tamryn Eradani's Enchanting Encounters Books 2 and 3, Like Real People Do by EL Massey
Owned and need to read: Upright Women Wanted (Which I just randomly read a great essay by this author on being liberated from narratives of queer grief and death), NK Jemisin's The World We Make, Frey Marske's A Restless Truth, California Bones, the Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison, Raven Song by IA Ashcroft, Kraken's Sacrifice by Katee Robert, Even Though I Know the End by CL Polk, Penric's Demon, True Colors by Karen Traviss
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Ghost!Verse Information
So Jess says no to the reaper because she’s in a panic as she watches Sam nearly get himself burned up for her. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen but all she’s thinking about is how hard Sam’s going to feel the guilt over her death and to make sure that he knows not to trust Brady. Additionally, she’s seen firsthand that Dean will be there to protect Sam, but she doesn’t fully know or trust him and a part of her worries about them becoming alienated from each other with the fallout of her death.
I headcanon that their apartment at the very least was completely burnt up, if not most or all of the apartment building itself. Rather than attaching to what’s left of her body, since all of her reasons for refusing to go with the reaper deal with Sam her spirit instead attaches to a necklace Sam had gotten her for her birthday that year. She’d accidentally left it at home when she’d visited last and her dad had meant to drive it out to her or mail it back but he hadn’t gotten around to it.
The boys spend a week in Palo Alto after Jessica’s death and while Jessica’s family hold her funeral in her hometown of San Francisco, her father goes to Stanford in search of some of her artwork and if anything had been salvageable from the fire. He gives the necklace to Sam, with a tearful speech about how Jess would have wanted him to have it and that he was there for Sam and understood if he couldn’t bring himself to come to Jess’s funeral.
After that, Jess realizes that she’s chained to the necklace, silently on the road alongside Sam and Dean. She tries to talk to Sam, move objects, anything to get him to notice but she continues to fall short. Her anger ebbs and flows, but she’s never quite to the point where her rage is enough for her presence to finally be seen.
She’s not always there to see the horrors of all of the monsters the brothers are initially chasing down as it is all dependent on whether Sam has the necklace on him or not. Notably, she is not present for anything with the house in Lawrence, but she does get some ghostly advice from some of the ghosts in the asylum in Rockford in hopes of soon being able to get Sam to at least set her soul free before she toes the line of becoming vengeful in any capacity.
sidebar about her reaction to watching Sam & certain characters:
Lori Sorenson - she’s jealous as hell, primarily because seeing Sam kiss someone else for the first time, no matter how brief really got her stomach churning especially because she’s right there with him and he has no idea. she’s also a bit more of a simple, reserved girl and jess wonders if that’s what he would have preferred in her.
Meg 1.0 first encounter - boy how do you not see that she’s weirdly attaching to you so early?? i don’t trust her?? how did she end up at the bus station with you and why was she so insistent on ‘come to california with me uwu’ like girl back up. at least he got his head on straight to stick to his guns about finding dean, despite her insistence.
Sarah Blake - no dean she’s so hot and badass wtf and i’m right here. no, i’m not okay with it
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