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#You can distinctly see which are older or younger
jikimo-world · 2 months
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Part 1/Part 2/Part 3 ⬆️/Part 4
From beginning
Prev/Next
"Please save him from what I could do to him"
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attyattlaw · 4 months
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cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread
i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy
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someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.
given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.
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i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.
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Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer
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Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.
my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.
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Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.
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rollinouttahere-writes · 10 months
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Strawhats with Rob Lucci’s younger sibling? But they aren’t aware of CP9 due to ✨reasons✨ and just think their big brother wanted to work at Water 7
Anon, I have some extremely unfortunate news for you. My dyslexia pulled a fast one on me and completely omitted the word 'strawhats' from this request, and I didn't realize it until I had already finished writing it and came back to post it. I am so sorry, feel free to send this request in again if you want to give me another shot to properly answer it. I'm gonna be reading requests 50 times over just to make sure I don't do this again. I am mortified. Hope you like this regardless, so sorry again.
Estranged
Yandere Rob Lucci x Sibling Reader
2.7k words
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This was going to be a good thing for you, a healthy change of pace. An opportunity to move on from your past and no longer let it weigh you down. It was for the best, even if everything felt more than a little hollow right now.
After you finished putting away the rest of your belongings, you meander to the open window to take in your brand new surroundings. Water 7 was easily the most beautiful city you’d seen in your entire life. 
A light breeze carried the scent of the ocean into your small apartment. The walkway as well as the canal beneath you was busy, full of people going about their daily lives. Everyone here seemed so gleeful and carefree, as if they didn’t have a single problem hanging over them. You wonder if you’ll be able to fall into a similar state of mind.
Probably not, but you can dream.
Your train of thought is interrupted by your cat, Roberto, leaping up onto the windowsill next to you. You lightly scritched behind his ears as he looked down at the bustling city with his typical scowling expression. He was the grumpiest cat you’d ever met, but that just made his toleration of you all the more endearing in your humble opinion.
Shutting the window, you make your way to the door, “I’m gonna head out and take a look around the neighborhood, don’t cause any trouble while I’m gone.”
Roberto barely spared you a glance before jumping down to the floor to curl up in a sunny spot to sleep. A small smile tugged at your lips. Yeah, you weren’t worried about him doing anything bad in your absence. For all his standoffishness, he was a very mild mannered cat. As long as his food and water bowl were filled (which they were), he was fine.
You’d barely made it out the door before a couple of kids went sprinting around you, narrowly avoiding a collision. One of them shouted a quick “sorry” over their shoulder but kept on running to wherever their destination was, giggling about who knows what.
They looked similar. Siblings probably. Just like that, your mood took a nosedive, much to your aggravation. How childish to be bothered by merely seeing two potential siblings. You needed to get over it already.
It’s not like you were ever going to see Lucci again. He was gone and you needed to accept that.
The relationship you had with your older brother was odd to say the least. Mostly in the sense that you didn’t really have one to go off of. The last time you’d seen him, you were three years old, so you two could only be so close.
At the time, you felt like you were thick as thieves with him. Wherever he went, you followed, and vice versa. He’d do everything with you. From tying your shoes before you figured it out, to letting you wear his top hat, to fighting anyone else at the orphanage that had the audacity to try and pick on you. Even back then, you could distinctly remember how stoic he was, but you never doubted that he cared about you. And also his pigeon, Hattori. 
The only time you could recall where he was upset with you was when you’d spent the whole day pestering him to tell you about your parents. The orphanage was all you’d ever known, but surely he remembered something about them. After hours of changing the subject or blatantly ignoring you, he snapped, “It doesn’t matter! They aren’t here anymore, only I am. Just be happy with that and stop asking.”
You didn’t bring it up again. Not that you exactly had much of a chance to.
The following day was a strange one. Some men in suits showed up and took Lucci “on a walk”, not letting you come with. They never came back. When you asked the nun running the place where your brother was, she acted like she had no idea who or what you were talking about. It was as if he’d never existed.
Without your brother around to protect you, it became abundantly clear what a shithole that place was. You’d come to the sad realization that he’d been giving most of his food to you so you wouldn’t have to go hungry. There was also the issue of having to watch more and more kids disappear every couple of years and having no idea what happened to them or if you were going to be next. The general consensus between you and the remaining children was that they were being sold into slavery, but you never were able to confirm that.
As soon as you were old and strong enough to go off on your own, you did. For years you would bounce around the island doing odd jobs to stay alive all while trying to get a clue as to your brother’s whereabouts. Nothing ever came up, so when you scraped together enough money, you left for another island.
You repeated this cycle for years. Working, investigating, and then moving when the trail was cold. As disheartening as it was, you couldn’t bring yourself to give up. He wouldn’t give up if the roles had been reversed, so you wouldn’t either.
At least that’s what you told yourself at first. When you were first thinking this, you never imagined that he would still be missing over a decade later. You had never considered that you would genuinely never find so much as a hint to his whereabouts. Or his livelihood. 
At this point, it was easier to assume he was dead.
“I could go for a drink,” you mumble to yourself as you take a look around and notice a bar. You’ve been so caught up in your own thoughts that at this point you don’t even know where exactly you are. How responsible.
You push open the door to the establishment and do a quick once over. It’s busy, but not crowded. You should be able to quietly enjoy a drink or two without much trouble.
The sound of wings flapping catches your attention, and the next thing you know, something lands on your shoulder and starts cooing. Slightly startled, you snap your attention to where it landed and see a white pigeon happily nestling itself into your neck.
Holding out your hand, you gently guide it onto your finger to get a better look at the bird. It’s wearing an adorable red necktie and looks positively thrilled to see you for whatever reason. Despite your previous bad mood, you can’t help but smile. You’ve always had a soft spot for birds. What a cutie.
Someone at a nearby table laughs loudly, “Look at that Lucci, even your bird is better at making friends than you are!”
Your blood runs cold.
“Lucci?” No. No it can’t be. 
Slowly, you crane your neck around to look at where the voice had come from. That’s when you see it. The top hat. The dark, curly hair underneath it. Your breath catches in your throat as the man turns around. His facial expression is one of pure annoyance, until his eyes meet yours. Then he looks like he’s seen a ghost.
It’s him. He’s aged, obviously, but you would recognize those features anywhere. That’s your brother. That’s Lucci.
As if on autopilot, you mindlessly approached him, “Lucci, is that really you?” Your voice is so quiet that you’re not sure he could even hear you. He didn’t respond, so you continued, “I looked everywhere for you. Is this where you’ve been?”
Logically, you know you should be ecstatic to see him again, but as he continues to silently gawk at you something else creeps into your heart. 
Rage.
“You gonna say something, or are you just gonna keep staring?” One of your hands snaps out to shove at his shoulder. Still nothing. “I’m your fucking sibling, your own flesh and blood, and this is how you treat me after all these years?! I thought you were dead!” His fists clench and unclench, and his breathing is becoming uneven, but he still won’t talk to you.
In a fit of fury, you snatch a pint of beer off the table and throw the contents of it in his face, “Fuck you, I never should have wasted my time looking for you!”
Hattori flies off you from the commotion and is circling the table. The patrons of the bar are mostly silent save for some gasps and hushed whispers, but you don’t hang around any longer. You can’t. You don’t want to let that bastard have the satisfaction of seeing the tears that are seconds away from spilling over. 
How dare he? How dare he do this to you? You’ve spent all this time remembering him fondly, searching for any sign of him, and when you finally find him completely by accident, this happens. He gives you the silent treatment and acts like he doesn’t know you. You thought he was dead or a slave when in reality he was leading a normal life and getting a drink with his buddies. 
Maybe he’d been glad to get rid of you.
You choke out a sob as you run, not sure where your feet are taking you but hoping to see anything that can point you to your apartment. All you want to do is to curl up in your bed with your cat and cry. Fuck it, maybe you’ll pack up your things and leave Water 7 tonight. You can’t stomach the thought of seeing him again now.
You can register the sound of someone running after you. Probably the guy whose drink you threw if you had to guess. Way to go, (y/n), making a scene and ruining your reputation within hours of moving to a new city. You don’t want to face the consequences of your actions though, and pick up the pace to try and get away from them.
This doesn’t work and they close the gap far quicker than you expected. Strong arms wrap around your torso, and they pick you up and carry you into some quiet alley. You try to kick and scream, but your kicks do absolutely nothing and a hand covers your mouth. 
As soon as you’re out of sight of the general population, you’re put down and pushed into a wall. You can finally see who your assailant is, only to lock eyes with Lucci. Scoffing, you slap away his hand, “What? Now you want to talk?” 
“Yes, I do,” his response surprises you. You hadn’t actually expected him to speak to you after how he was acting at the bar.
“Oh really? How come you didn’t want to talk before? Too embarrassed to speak with me in public?”
“I can’t speak with you publicly, but not for that reason.”
He didn’t elaborate further, but you decided to move on. There were a lot more things to get to. You cut to the chase, “Where have you been?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
Forget this, he’s fucking with you at this point. You try to walk away from this pointless conversation, but he’s holding onto your wrist and won’t let go.
“I’m leaving, I don’t want to talk to you,” you’re trying to wrench your arm out of his grasp but he’s much stronger than you thought. He wouldn’t budge.
“We’re not done talking,” his eye twitched in irritation at your behavior.
“We never started talking! You aren’t saying anything meaningful, I would get more out of talking to a brick wall!” You screamed at him, trying not to start crying again. 
While you’re trying to get away, you feel something land on your head. This makes you stop and calm down ever so slightly. The cooing immediately gives away that it’s Hattori. You hold up your hand for him to hop on. How is it that you’re connecting with the pigeon more than your brother? You sighed, “At least someone is happy to see me.”
From your peripheral vision, you can see Lucci stiffen and avert his piercing gaze. He grumbles a bit, “I am… Happy. To see you.”
You scoffed, “Wow, that sounded so convincing.”
Lucci released your wrist, and if it weren’t for Hattori thoroughly enjoying the attention you were giving him, you would have taken the opportunity to leave. You eyed him warily as he inched closer to you, looking incredibly unsure of what he was doing. Then his arms reached forward and enclosed around you in what was hands down the most stiff and awkward hug of your life.
He let go and took a couple of steps back, refusing to make eye contact with you, “There, do you feel better now?”
Your memories took you back to the time you’d scraped your knee while playing tag with Lucci when you were children. In typical little kid fashion, you were inconsolable from the minor injury. He carried you back to the orphanage and bandaged your knee himself, but didn’t know what to do when he saw that you were still upset. In a last ditch effort to get you to calm down, he’d brought you into this uncomfortable side hug while looking everywhere except for at you. The whole display was so silly looking that you couldn’t help but giggle at him.
Despite everything that just transpired between you two, your heart felt warm. He hasn’t changed a bit after all. You chuckle, “No, that hug was terrible. Not to mention that now I smell like beer.”
“And whose fault is that?” His eyes narrowed at you accusingly.
“Yours for making me mad enough to throw it at you,” you laughed again at the dramatic eye roll he did in response. 
“You’re the only person in the world who I would let get away with that, I hope you appreciate that,” he muttered.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” you shrugged off the comment, not putting much stock into it. The previously tense atmosphere had relaxed, but there was still some awkwardness to it. It was unavoidable really, after this much time apart you two didn’t know each other. What were you supposed to talk about? The questions you asked before went unanswered so now you didn’t know what to do.
“What are you doing in Water 7?” Lucci had mercifully been the one to break the silence.
“I just moved here. Wanted a fresh start, you know? What about you? Can you at least tell me that?” 
“I’m a foreman at the Galley-La Company, have been for a few years,” he states plainly. 
You’re honestly surprised to have received a real answer. You decide to push your luck and ask another question, “How come you never came back?”
Lucci took his time mulling over how to respond, “I wasn’t able to. If I could have, I would, but it wasn’t an option. I can’t tell you why, but I need you to believe me. The second I’m in a position to do so, I will tell you, but for now I simply can’t.”
“What the hell are you tied up in?” Something bad is going on here, but you’ll be damned if you have any idea what.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Well, looks like he’s done answering your questions again. At least you made some progress. The awkward silence came back, and you found yourself wanting to go home. You needed time to take all of this in and decompress.
Setting Hattori onto Lucci’s shoulder, you tell him as much, “It’s been… Interesting seeing you again, but I’m tired and want to go home.” You don’t wait for him to respond before hurrying away.
“I’ll walk you back,” Lucci closes the distance quickly and the look on his face leaves no room for argument. You suppose that’s fine. Him knowing where you live will make meeting up again later easier.
You have no idea how your relationship with him is going to evolve after this. Considering how much time has passed, it’s impossible for things to go back to how they were. Maybe you’ll be able to forge a new and improved sibling bond with him, but only time will tell.
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siriuslyshewrote · 1 year
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𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐒.𝐁
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,498
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are given a detention with the rather annoying Sirius Black. Pure fluff, basically.
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Sirius Black was somewhat of an enigma to you. The two of you had always been rather distinctly aware of one another, coming from the same social background, going to the same functions and balls growing up, and yet, if you truly thought about it, you weren't so sure that you had spoken more than three or four offhand sentences to the boy your entire life. Though you went to the same school, even, the year between the two of you, and the fact you wore the colours green and silver, put you much closer to his younger brother Regulus.
You weren't so sure you were ever much more than a passing thought to him, and with his visible and growing disdain for not only Slytherin, but pureblood society in general over the years you had learnt to actively avoid both he and his little gang of friends, lest you walk into another one of their ridiculous pranks. You wouldn't say you disliked the boy per say, but a certain wave of irritation rippled over you when you saw him - particularly after the prank he had pulled last year which had left you, and the rest of your dorm-mates with vivid, crimson red hair for several weeks, no matter how many potions and spells you tried to remove it with.
That was why, as you walked into detention on a cold, November night in your sixth year, you were most aggravated to see that the only two people in the room was Professor McGonnagal and the older Black boy. He was leaning back on his chair, twirling a quill in his fingers, looking thoroughly bored, and his stormy grey eyes immediately flickered to you as you rather ungracefully burst through the door of the Transfiguration classroom.
"Sorry," You turned to McGonnagal, pushing your windswept hair away from your face.
"Late again, Miss Y/L/N," She pursed her lips slightly, though there was a look of slight amusement in her eyes. "You are aware that is what your current detention is for, yes?"
Being late was somewhat of an unfortunate trademark of yours, and really it was the only thing your professors could fault you for, but your habit of absent-mindedness and forgetting the time had landed you in more detentions at your time in Hogwarts than you could count.
You placed your bag on the floor next to the desk which you assumed you were to take - the only one in the room with a thick stack of parchment upon, aside from Sirius'. He gave you a somewhat amused look as you sat down next to him, still twirling that blasted quill around his fingers.
"Sorry Professor," You mustered up an apologising look, though a small smile danced on your lips.
You knew that though it frustrated your professors to no end that you were always late, the majority of them were rather fond of you outside of that, due to the fact that you did always study rather profusely, even if you were prone to missing deadlines on occasion.
Professor McGonnagal made a small tutting noise, and your attention was drawn to a large box in her hands.
"As I was just telling Mr. Black here, I had already committed to helping out Professor Flitwick with some work this evening, so I will be leaving you with this task."
She pulled out a large pile of parchment from the box, dividing it and placing half on your desk, and half on the nearby desk of Sirius'. The parchment was looking rather worse for wear, some of the writing barely legible, and it had a smell rather like mothballs.
"The two of you will be transcribing these detention cards," She gestured towards them. "Onto new parchment. Perhaps whilst you do that, you can reflect on your own reasons for being in detention."
As she said this, she gave a rather severe look to Sirius, who gave her a cheeky grin, leaning further back in his chair. His hair was shorter than you had ever seen it now - barely grazing his jaw. He looked distinctly older, you thought, chastising yourself for even noticing such a thing.
"Once you have both worked through these, you can put them on my desk and go and enjoy your evenings," She said, walking back towards the front of the classroom, pausing at the door for a moment to glance back at the both of you. "And Mr Black, I do implore you to not receive any inspiration from these."
A small smile twitched your mouth as Sirius guffawed beside you.
"Can't make any promises, Professor," He overtly winked, and the older woman let out a sigh, before exiting the classroom.
You almost wished she would come back as the classroom dissolved into a silence. You pulled your quill and ink will from your bag, determined to work through this as quickly as possible so you could leave and return to your dormitory, and most importantly your warm and cozy bed, which you were quite sure would be warm with a hot water bottle supplied by the house elves.
Sirius' foot tapped none stop on the stone floor, as you pulled the large stack of parchment towards you, wrinkling your nose at the smell of it, and beginning to transcribe the first one, squinting at the faded handwriting. He had made no move to start his own work, unsurprisingly. Though you had no classes with the boy, you had the distinct feeling that he wasn't much of a hard worker, though you had no doubt he still got decent grades. He striked you as one of those people.
"You're friends with Regulus, yeah?" He said casually, breaking the silence.
You let out a small noise of recognition, eyes flickering to his for a small second, then back to your paper.
He didn't seem perturbed by your lack of talking, though you supposed Sirius was quite able to do enough talking of his own to fuel a whole conversation.
"Didn't put down a perfect Slytherin to get a detention." He remarked, a little venom in his words that he couldn't quite hide, though his tone was even.
"The more you know, huh." You replied sardonically, fixing him with a look of distaste. "Shame I can't say the same for you."
He let out a laugh at that, going to tuck his hair behind his ears before he seemed to remember it was slightly too short now, leaving his fingers dancing in mid-air for a moment, before moving them back to the desk and tapping at it absentmindedly.
"Don't suppose you fancy doing mine too?" He questioned with a grin, indicating towards the several cards you had already painstakingly transcribed.
There was something about his demeanour that made your lips curve up slightly, too.
"I'd rather go take a dip in the Great Lake, but nice try Black." You quipped, dipping your quill in your ink well again.
"Might be a nice sight," He joked, and you rolled your eyes.
"You know I don't think you've ever grown up at all. You are still just as annoying as I remember you used to be when we were little." You remarked offhandedly, that small smile still upturning your lips.
"And you are just as uptight." He grinned. "You're still the same little Y/L/N who used to turn up her nose at absolutely everyone."
You were slightly shocked he seemed to actually remember you - he always seemed rather dismissive of not only you, but everything and everyone from that part of his life.
"I'm surprised you actually took note of that. You were always so busy creating chaos I didn't think you noticed anything around you."
"You should be honoured then," He quipped.
You let out a small laugh at that.
"Get on with your work, Black. I'm not staying here all night because you don't get this finished." You told him, scribbling away at another detention card.
"The fact that you don't want to spend the night with me wounds me, Y/N." He clutched at his heart dramatically.
You pursed your lips at him, almost surprised at how much you wanted to laugh again. This was not how you expected your detention with him to go - you rather expected to be ripping out your hair in frustration by now. He was different to how he had been when you had interacted with him before. Nicer, almost, though still just as arrogant.
"Anyway," He said, pulling out his wand from his sleeve, of all places. "You don't have to sit here and write all of these. Simple spell, really."
He waved his wand over his quill, murmuring a few words you couldn't quite work out, before the quill jumped up quite by itself, dipped itself in the inkwell, and started scribbling down words so quick it was just a blur against the parchment.
He grinned as he saw your badly-concealed impressed look.
"Don't tell me you don't already know that spell," He said arrogantly.
You huffed at him, showing him your ink-stained fingers.
"Clearly not," You spoke tightly, irritated that he had bested you.
"I could show you," He mused. "Though it would be so much more fun to see you writing all of these out."
The magically moving quill had already worked through double the amount of parchment that you had.
You glowered at him.
"Black, I'm going to kill you." You threatened.
He pretended to think for a moment, and for those brief seconds you considered throttling him to wipe the smug look off his face.
"I'll help you. For a price." He finally said.
Your knuckles were slightly white as you gripped your quill a little bit tighter with annoyance.
"If you say anything suggestive right now, I'm going to stick this inkwell-"
He raised his hands in a mock surrender, laughing.
"Wasn't going to, though don't give me ideas," He winked. "I just need a very time-sensitive favour."
You sighed. "And what would that be?"
"I need to make a distraction," He paused to glance at his watch. "In about five minutes."
You glowered.
"If you think I'm going to help you with one of your stupid pranks, so help me-"
He shrugged, standing up, still grinning. You blinked up at him, not quite sure if it was just because you were sitting down, or if he really was a lot taller than you realised.
"I mean, if you want to stay here all night..."
You glanced back over to his quill, still scribbling away furiously. It had made it's way almost entirely through the pile of parchment, now. You looked back to your own ominously large pile, and let out a groan.
"Fine. I'll help. But if you get me another detention, I will personally hunt you down." You threatened.
He laughed again. That annoying damn laugh.
"Here," He said, pulling your quill from your hand, skin skimming your own. His skin was incredibly warm against your freezing hands, for a small second.
Again, he murmured those words, and immediately the quill jumped into action, scribbling away.
You gave him a look of thanks - though you refused to say it out loud, his ego simply didn't need any more of a boost, stretching your aching fingers.
"Come on," He said energetically, picking up your bag and swinging it over his shoulder, as if it was some insurance that you would come with him now.
You could simply go back to your common room, you supposed, now he had done what he had promised, but you didn't particularly fancy waking up to a very targeted revenge prank, and so, with a disgruntled sigh, you got up and followed him towards the door.
You didn't want to hang out with Sirius Black voluntarily, of course. At least, that was what you told yourself.
He glanced both ways down the corridor as you exited the classroom, probably looking for a sign that Professor McGonnagal was coming back, but the castle was quiet and empty, most students in their common rooms or dorms by now.
The wind whistled through the corridor, and you wrapped your robes tighter around yourself as you followed his rather quick pace through the school halls.
"This is probably the most rebellious thing you've done all year, huh, Y/L/N?" He whispered to you, eyes glinting with humour.
You shoved him slightly with your hip, only then realising how close the two of you were walking together.
"Until I know exactly what we are doing, I can't comment," You whispered back. "Though I doubt it. I'm not some prude, you know."
"I didn't know Slytherin's were allowed to have fun," He murmured back, smiling.
You flipped him off with a mock scowl.
He walked a very specifically pureblood way, even now, you realised - straight backed - in a way that you could balance books upon his head and they wouldn't tip or fall.
He threw out an arm, suddenly, stopping you in your tracks, looking surreptitiously around a corner. You paused behind him for a moment, so close you could smell the cologne he was wearing. Sandalwood, and maybe lemon, you thought for a moment, before shaking your head and realising how insane you were being for even contemplating such a thing.
He gave a thumbs up to whoever he could see around the corner - who you assumed were the other members of his little group, pulling a small parcel out of his bag.
"I'd cover your nose," He remarked to you, before, with remarkably good aim, launching said parcel half-way down the corridor.
With a loud bang, a cloud of smoke appeared, and you immediately regretted not taking his advice as the smell hit you.
Stink-bombs.
Your eyes watered as the putrid smell that could only be compared to sewerage hit you, as the smoke filled the corridor and made it almost impossible to see anything.
"What the-" You heard the piercing shriek of the caretaker, Argus Filch, as well as the sound of a slamming door.
A warm hand grabbed yours, fingers interlinking, pulling you into a run, and you had no choice to follow, to attempt to get away from the horrific cloud of stench that had invaded the entire corridor.
Your eyes were streaming as your free hand covered your nose.
"I can see you, you little toerags!" You head the caretakers croaking shout, and you couldn't help but let out a small laugh at that, adrenaline pumping through you as Sirius dragged you down another corridor.
"Down here," He panted, pushing aside a tapestry you walked past nearly every day towards the Great Hall.
To your greatest surprise, there wasn't simply a wall, but a small narrow entryway, though you had no time to marvel at it before you were tugged behind it, the tapestry falling back into place again, plunging you into darkness.
"Where are you, you little blighters!" Filch screeched, and his voice was so loud he must have only been footsteps from your hiding place.
A palm covered your mouth, and you were suddenly all too aware of how close you were to Sirius Black. He was stood directly behind you - you were so tightly pressed against him that you could feel the thumping of his heartbeat through his chest, and the realisation of this made a blush come to your cheeks, though you were completely unsure of why.
Filch's footsteps faded away, and Sirius let go of you slightly, allowing you to turn around and face him, though you could barely see him in the dim light, only enough to be aware that your faces were oddly close.
He let out a guffaw, as you poked him in the chest, and this set you off into your own peal of laughter.
"You... idiot!" You exclaimed. "You could have given me a bit of warning on what you were going to do!"
Though you couldn't see it, you could sense the grin on his face.
"Ah, but then I wouldn't have seen that beautiful look of horror on your face, Y/N."
Your laughs quietened down a little, though your heart was still racing - from the running, you told yourself.
"You know, for you, stink-bombs is a very basic prank." You poked fun at him.
"You think I would just settle for stink bombs?" He scoffed as if you had insulted his intelligence deeply. "They were just a distraction, love."
You pretended not to hear the nickname that slipped so easily off his tongue.
"I apologise, Black. Didn't mean to underestimate you," You quipped, tilting your face up to grin at him, before realising how close that put the two of your faces.
Your face flushed even more.
"I forgive you" He breathed, and you felt it on your face, goosebumps erupting on your skin.
Your heart began to thrum in your ears, and you were suddenly aware he had never let go of your hand. His fingers were squeezing yours. He moved closer, just slightly, and it was the first time all evening he had been silent for longer than a few seconds.
And that was the moment when the tapestry was suddenly ripped back theatrically, and the two of you jumped apart like deer caught in headlights - to look around and see the positively volcanic expression upon Argus Filch's face.
Getting detention every night for the next several weeks would have usually been enough for you to want to take a trip to see the Giant Squid, but somehow, with Sirius Black by your side, you doubted they would be anything less than ... interesting.
Authors Note: I hope you guys enjoyed this! As ever, my requests are open, and feel free to use my prompt list for some ideas on what to request!
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wyvernquill · 8 months
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Finally some more Dreamling Anastasia AU!
(Obligatory link to the masterpost with all the other posts in this AU - it's also pinned at the top of my blog!)
So, it's been... a while... but I've recently finally got some motivation to write a bit more of this. Apologies to everyone really looking forward to the finale/resolution - I've decided to go all the way back to the start of the story, instead. I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!
(Tag list: @10moonymhrivertam @martybaker @globglobglobglobob @anonymoustitans @sunshines-fabulous-legs @dreamsofapiratelife @malice-kingdom - since it's been a, uh, really long time, please let me know if you're no longer interested in this AU/fandom and don't want to be tagged anymore, I won't mind! On the other hand, if someone else would like to be tagged in future updates, please let me know!)
---
“Sister… it’s me.”
The man on the dilapidated theatre’s stage shrugs a heavy, moth-eaten velvet coat off his narrow shoulders. It crumples into a dark semi-circle around him, releasing a dramatic cloud of dust.
“Dream… of the Endless~”
.
“Ah. Hm.” A somewhat fussy older gentleman in the empty space usually reserved for the audience adjusts the small circular glasses on his nose, grimacing in a polite and distinctly English way - which he has, once, after first coming to this realm and taking this form, spent hours practising in the mirror - while checking a long list in front of him. “Mr… Carter, was it…?”
“Oh, please.” The man on stage flicks back his white-streaked bangs. “Call me Hal.”
“Yes. Of course, Mr. Hal.” The gentleman purses his lips. “That was… not, er. Not terrible, I suppose. And we’re pleased to note that you appear to have… brought your own cloak.”
“Don’t get used to it. Zelda and Chantal only let me borrow it for the audition.”
“Well, it is a lovely cloak. Only, ah, while Dream of the Endless was known to have quite striking eyes, I do think that, perhaps a little less eyeliner…”
“I could tone it down, I suppose, but I really think the performance would lose something without the makeup.” Hal sighs melodramatically. “I can sing and dance too, if you need it for your… what is this audition for, actually? Play? Music hall show? Ooo, one of those moving pictures?”
“Er.” The gentleman fidgets with his cane, grass-green eyes flickering around the empty theatre. “Well-”
“Thank you, Hal.” The younger man beside him interrupts with a winning smile that only barely covers the boredom and frustration lining a rather ruggedly handsome face. “We’ll let you know.”
“Hm.” Hal, clearly enough of an old hand in the acting business to know a polite “you’re not getting the role, piss off” when he hears one, frowns, and bends down to gather up the borrowed cloak, stalking off towards stage exit right with his head held high, not deigning either of the two men with even one more look.
“...I really do not think this will work, young Robert.” The older man mutters, decisively striking through Hal Carter’s name on his list. It is the last. “None of them look even remotely like him. And the voice-”
“I know, Gil. I know.” The younger man, Hob - only Gilbert is proper and precise enough to call him Robert - rubs at his temples, as if to stave off a headache. “They never manage to get the voice right, do they.”
“Ah, if it were only that…” Gilbert sighs, setting the list down. His eyes are soft and unfocused, seeing far into a past that has long since been razed to the ground. “His Lordship, he… he had a certain air about him, you understand. An otherworldly strangeness. He was the dream-maker, and dream-made, and to look at him was to gaze upon infinity.”
A soft scoff.
“Even if we claim that he has been greatly reduced by being turned into a meagre human - no offence, dear friend - as long as he does not have some spark of endlessness about him, nobody who has ever met him would fall for the ruse. And we are attempting to con his family. I simply cannot see any viable path to success.”
Hob does not respond, for a moment, picking up one of the flyers on their table.
It reads:
.
SEEKING Actor, slender, pale, tall, dark-haired, in the 20-40 age range to play the role of Dream of the Endless (method actors preferred). Generous pay and further benefits await. Auditions each weekday at 6pm at the Old Whickber Street Theatre, Soho. Ask for Hob and Gil.
.
“We’ll find him.” Hob insists. “The perfect pretender. He’s out there, I just know it.”
“We are not the first fools who have attempted a, a caper of this sort.” Gil points out, almost gently. “None of the others ever succeeded.”
“Yes. Well. None of the others managed to find and correctly identify the late Dream’s own pouch of genuine dream-sand on sale at the black market.” Hob shoots back, gesturing at the cord just barely peeking out from under Gil’s collar. (They’ve decided it would be safer if Hob comes into contact with the sand as little as possible, and Gilbert has taken to carrying it as closely to his heart as he can manage.) “It’s hard evidence, Gil, it’s a sign, it’s our chance - and it might just be enough. The trick with a good con is really making it look like you’re giving the mark exactly what they desperately want… and there’s nothing in the world Death of the Endless wants more than to have her brother back.”
.
(She wants it so desperately, in fact, that she’s offering immortality to any sentient being who manages to procure Dream for her.
And, well.
There’s nothing in the world Hob wants more than to live forever…)
.
“Your word in- or, well, kept out of Destiny’s ears, young friend.” Gil sighs, collecting his lists and notes and the remaining flyers, tucking them into his coat and reaching for his cane. “In the meantime, how about we go down to the public house and have a bit of a snifter to wash away the memories of all those atrocious performances, eh, my lad?”
“Best idea you had all day, Gil.” Hob grins, clapping a hand on Gilbert’s shoulder. “Are you buying?”
Gilbert raises one grey brow. “At the risk of provoking a joke regarding my non-human status: in your dreams, Robert.”
Hob laughs; and, together, they step out into the winter night, old snow crunching under their shoes and new flakes beginning to drift, gradually, down from the sky.
.
.
.
It has been a decade since the end of the Endless’ reign.
Ten years since humanity tore Destiny’s book from his hands and burned it.
Ten years since Destruction abandoned his siblings, hiding away in his own, separate exile. 
Ten years since Despair’s first aspect was killed, and another took her place.
Ten years since Delight went mad with grief and became Delirium…
.
And ten years since Dream of the Endless was captured, bound, turned human, and killed.
.
People still whisper about it. Still speculate, trade gossip and hearsay back and forth. Some insist that the Dream King yet lives, hidden away, turned human, just biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to return to his siblings.
It’s a lovely legend, Hob supposes. A fitting end and non-end, for the Lord of Stories, to live on in one… but that’s all it is. A pretty tale, which will breathe new life into a myth only for as long as it’s being told. It isn’t true…
…but now, ten years later, Hob and Gil will damn well make it so.
.
.
.
Ten years is also, coincidentally, all that a man a few streets down from the old theatre can remember of his life.
Ten years since he was found, naked and emaciated and bleeding, in a ditch next to some countryside road in East Sussex.
Ten years of fighting his way through a life in poverty, with no family, no friends, no-one to care for him, except perhaps the birds.
Ten years of strange and haunting dreams, blurred faces calling out to him with names he can never remember later but knows are his; ten years of waking every morning with tears on his face and a longing for someplace - and someones - he wishes he could remember; ten years of a woman’s voice begging him night after night to come home to her, to them.
.
Ten years of being much too busy starving and freezing and barely surviving to spare even a single thought to the dying legends of the Endless.
.
This man turns his face up to the sky, snowflakes catching in his dark hair and on his coat like stars glinting in the night; and he shivers, his breath clouding mist-white in the air, curling thin arms around a narrow torso.
(For a moment, just a moment, his eyes glow dark and infinite, a mirror to the night sky and the endless universe beyond.)
And then, he ducks his head down into his scarf, shivers again, and continues on through the snow.
Ten hard years have taught this man better than to waste his time standing about and daydreaming.
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chrimsonfoxdon · 27 days
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Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).
I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.
Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!
1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed
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Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?
I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.
2. Female Characters/Feminism
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I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!
Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)
I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.
Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.
3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult
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Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!
4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That
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The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.
TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.
5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before
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Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.
I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.
Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.
Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.
6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things
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I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.
Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!
Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
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eternalglitch · 2 years
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Can you tell us why donnie would be more ideal as being the second oldest pls? /nf
As a fellow believer that donnie is older than leo i need this information to convince my friends
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YES ABSOLUTELY I am ready to discuss.
Heights. Someone else- maiprim- also popped into my inbox to mention this, but since the turtles do not have obvious birthdays, and Raph literally says "I'm the big brother– the brother that is biggest" I would ASSUME that means heights played into their logic for who is older. I would bet Donnie was taller when they made that call as kids, and now that Leo and him are pretty much the same height he made his dorky goggles taller to show that he's second tallest, trust him.
Protective traits. Similar as to how Raph shields Leo and Donnie, Donnie is often shown shielding Mikey in the direct "I'm covering you with my body" kind of way. They all protect each other, but seeing who is willing to grab their other siblings and try to take the damage gives Raph and Donnie the big bro vibes.
Smug know it all energy for Donnie. I feel like older siblings tend to be the ones that think they know best, and while Leo is reckless and wants to do his own thing, Donnie thinks HIS way is tried, true, and works. He tries to get his other brothers to follow his tune rather than striking out on his own, similar to Raph scolding Leo in the movie. Personally I feel like older siblings have the "I did this and this is what worked" opinion and younger have the "let me do things my own way" stance which Leo tends to lean towards.
In a cut opening to the movie, the turtles burst in and each say a word of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but Leo is missing because he's trying to do a flashy entrance. The order they go in is Raph, Donnie, Leo, Mikey, and then Raph looks around and goes "hey, where's our 'Ninja'?" Seems like the order is by age.
Raph and Donnie as a duo just give me older sibling energy whereas Leo and Mikey feel younger when they're hanging out. The entire Gumbus episode?? Leo feels distinctly like an older sibling but ONLY when around Mikey. He feels a lot more petty and childish whenever pestering Donnie. Mikey is almost always hanging out on Raph and Donnie's backs... I don't remember him perching on Leo nearly as much. Yet Mikey and Leo also seem to hang out casually a LOT due to similar interests, whereas Donnie is in his lab and Raph might be practicing fighting or something else.
IF Leo was to become leader, I personally think it feels more rewarding for him to not be the second oldest. So what, if Raph steps down it just goes to the next eldest rather than who is strategic and actually best suited for it? It just reinforces Leo's talents for plan and strategy if it's clear this choice is not made by age.
Leo is also incredibly smug and petty. I would imagine that every argument they have, he would gloat about being older... which he does not. I mean just look at him in Lair Games. He is OBNOXIOUS.
All of these, of course, are traits that are not 100% restricted by sibling status, but as a character that is created to fit into a close family, I personally just see him as the older one of the two middle children.
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This is just me rambling about the lotr musical I just saw spoilers for the watermill theatre production of lotr!!
In no particular order
HOLYMOLY THAT WAS SO GOOD ARRGGRGReatsit
First off I was expecting a new musical (for context there was another musical first performed in 2006 I think) BUT IT WASNT at least the songs weren't I'm not sure about the script since its insanely hard to find anything on it APART from the songs, they can be found online even on Spotify! Point is I thought it was a new one BUT THEN THEY STARTED PLAYING ROAD GOES ON AND MY ASS FELL OFF ISTG Seeing that og musical has been a DREAAAM OF MINE BUT THEY DON'T PLAY IT ANYMORE OR SO I THOOOOOUUUGHT
The music is insane actually it's so good!!!
When I saw the elves and realised they wouldn't have long hair unless the actor already did I was a little nervous since I just find its difficult to portray elves without the iconic long hair BUT MY GOD THEY'RE GOOD I don't know what these guys did compaired to the short hair elves of lotr prime BUT IT WOOOORKS legolas was perfect and GALADRIEL the actress has stage presence if I've ever seen it!!! She had this for lack of a better word fuck ass bob with a gold wreath thing and a PANT SUIT SHE'S MENTAL I LOVE HER!!!
Her voice is insane there was a moment where a group of people all sang together and they seemed to be singing at the usual stage level right but here voice just boomed iver the whole group it was amazing! She was so loud but she did it well!! I find often when people sing that loud it's like shouting but not in a good way, she was SINGING it was beautiful. She captured galadriels aura and power so well every time she was on stage I just wanted to stare at her.
aragorn was so GOOOOD he also sounded a lot like Orlando bloom to me lmao. His outfit was actually perfection and his haircut??? HE HAD this shaved sides thing going on and???!?!?! I THINK I LIKE IT MORE THAN MOVIE ARAGORN DARE I SAY???
Don't even get started on arwen dude. THE COSTUME DESINERS DID AMAZING WITH HER DRESS AND THE ACTRESS CAPTURED HER SO WELL her ethereal feel with a slight bit of young wonderUUuGGHHhHh screams. Her voice is also actually insane I'm chewing bark.
Frodo was done so wellLLLLLLL the moments when he got taken over by the ring were so distinctly not Frodo!! The actor switched between the two moments so flawlessly!! It was like he was playing two people.
AND SAAAm what a sweetheart he is he's perfect in every way can do no wrong ever ever!! His voice was so pretty I'm gonna goble him up for real. Also I think he got slapped in the face?!? I couldn't see it perfectly but that slam sounded very real with the noise so I wouldn't be shocked. Dedication woa.
GIIIMLI meow meow meow he's so good bald king<<<3333 HIS OUTFIT?? punch me in the face please thanks. Bro his face when legolas was being sassy to him MF said >:000 I LOVE HIS PORTRAAAAAAIIIL UGggghhhHHH he's perfect in every way everyone stay back from my bald king RAAAA
Boromir my pookie gone too soon <333 his outfit was so good his actor was so good EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD UUUGH Meow when he held frodo wrists to get him to stay I was like 🤨🤨🤨🤨😏😏😏 LOTR MUSICAL IS JUST FULL OF HOT PEOPLE
OMGOD GANDALF UUUGH HE WAS AMAZING idk why I thought he's be played by a younger guy in makeup?? Getting an actually older actor makes way more sense and HE WAS AMAZING
Saruman, elrond and golem were all played by this one guy and it was so good?? You could tell visually like his face that it was all him but he differentiates the characters SOOO well!! Bald elrond will haunt my dreams though..
MERRY AND PIPPIN UUUGHGHHG I love I love they made a tiny tweak to pip which was that since he was played by a lovely actress pip was referred to as a girl, but it was done very well! Nothing about the character changed, personality, story beats, outfit, everything was still pippin the only difference was a few she's here and there which is very much how this thing should be done :)) if you do need to or want to switch and characters gender it's good to keep them the same in other aspects otherwise they just come across as a new character with a familiar name! But that didn't happen here at all, the actress portrayed pip amazingly
Merry was also so good! His voice was amazing and he was so charming!
THE OOOORCS they were amazing. They were so unsettling!! I wasn't sure how they were going to play them but they had this gassmask type thing on it was so good! Everytime they came in I was excited to see them.
The way they did the nazgul was so fun. They were these skeleton horse head puppets!! They opened their mouths so wide it was really unsettling!!
AND THE SPIIIIDERRR everyone gasped when the spider came on. They opened these big doors in the back of the theatre right and she didn't even walk on she was right there! She was huge. She's this big puppet maned by like it's gotta be six or seven people SHE WAS AMAZING
AND OH OH OH THE FIRST AND LAST SCENES WERE OUTSIDE bilbos party was out in the garden!! We all got to sit around and the hobbit came and spoke to us all like we were invited to the party! Bilbo came out and asked me if I had eaten today if was great!! Speaking of which he was SOO GOOOOD
ANNNNDD they mentioned Tom!! WOOO at the end gandalf spoke about going to speak with Tom bombadil! We all had a giggle it was fun
It was just generally amazing all round
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reviewinghiccup · 1 year
Text
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HTTYD FANDOM! | HTTYD TALKS | DRAWING PARALLELS
Can you imagine? It's has been 13 years since the world of Berk and the archipelago opened up to us. Since we entered this crazy, viking village 12 degrees north from hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death.
I reckon the HTTYD anniversaries might kick off a little differently for fans all over the globe depending on its opening, because DreamWorks commemorated the HTTYD's 13 years on the 22nd of March on Instagram, though I distinctly remember it opening where I was on the 27th because it was also my birthday and I wanted to watch a movie.
Which means, yes, guys, I'm turning 24 today! HAHA! To mark this double celebration, I thought of doing something fun and a little different from my usual posts just to get the ball rolling. So, question, have you guys ever watched She's Out of My League?
She's Out of My League is a Jay Baruchel movie. A rom-com produced by Paramount Pictures AND (wait for it...) DreamWorks Pictures. It was released in March 2010 which meant that our Hiccup-voice-actor here had two movies playing at the cinema simultaneously.
I remembered that I wasn't allowed to watch the movie, but my older brother (10 years older than me) snuck me into the theatres to watch. I remember him covering my eyes for a bit and not understanding a lot of the humour back then, but I did remember the premise, so here goes...
Premise:
Kirk (Jay Baruchel) is your everyday, average Joe. Coupled w the fact that he is somewhat a pushover and insidiously insecure, he tries to get back with his manipulative ex-girlfriend Marni. After that failed, he stumbles onto the path of the beautiful Molly, who by beauty standards, personality and life-style choices is considered a hard 10, while he is rated a mere 5.
When Molly seems to take an interest in Kirk, the whole world is put out of balance and their friends smell impending doom by virtue of their different "social ratings." However, are these standards real, or just a social construct that needs debunking?
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I'm not here to criticise the movie. I'm sure we all have our thoughts. Nor am I saying that this movie or the romantic storyline holds a candle to the HTTYD franchise or Hiccstrid, but, it was hilarious to discover a number of parallels between these two worlds.
DRAWING PARALLELS
THE CHARACTERS
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Kirk Kettner (Jay Baruchel) - The awkward underdog, highly underestimated by everyone including himself and doesn't see that he is, in fact, more than his make.
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Molly (Alice Eve) - The beautiful, blonde and determined love interest. Lawyer turned successful events planner. Independent, fiercely confident and a real go-getter.
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Devon (Nate Torrence) - The nicer friend in Kirk's friend group. An adorable, huggable sweetie pie who still believes in magic and romance.
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Dylan (Kyle Bornheimer) - The guy you'd love to hate. He is Kirk's overbearing older brother who bullies Kirk to mask his own insecurities.
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Stainer (T.J. Miller) - The quick talking, witty side-kick whose crazy ideas propels the storyline into an absurd direction. Who is actually, also Tuffnut.
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Katie (Kim Shaw) - Molly's younger, dimwitted sister who is just getting by.
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Patty (Krysten Ritter) - Molly's best friend and business partner. Strong-willed, independent and fiercely loyal.
THEME, MESSAGE & STORYLINE
(1) IT ISN'T ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK LIKE, BUT WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE
It's a cliche to say, beauty is from within. But it doesn't make it less true. I think what makes Molly attractive is because she is a really nice person, adaptable. Her beauty is an aspect of it. Imagine if Molly had Marni's personality. The story would've turned differently.
This is also Kirk's selling point. The pinnacle of his entire personality is the nice guy card, it's what attracts Molly.
Likewise w Hiccup, he is a genuinely good guy. You can't fault him for his courtesy. Though Kirk's personality seems more like a caricature of Hiccup's, ironically. And, Hiccup's strength and leadership is not something you'd notice on his person but in him.
(2) YOU NEED TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOURSELF
I loved Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man [Episode 8, Season 1 (Riders of Berk)] for many reasons, but mainly because it was the episode Hiccup proves to himself that he is worthy.
She's Out of My League was a movie about Kirk learning that he is worthy. That he isn't just a five, that this whole rating system is nonsense. He was always good enough for Molly, he was never good enough for himself.
DON'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE EPISODES FROM RIDERS OF BERK. THE LIST IS OPENED ALL WEEK!
Which is your favourite ROB episode (Part I)
Which is your favourite ROB episode (Part II)
Though She's Out of My League didn't dive into Kirk and Molly's relationship and life after they got back together, I am assuming Kirk found his courage in someways. He ends up flying a plane, which is a life long dream of his, he dreamt of becoming a pilot. And well, we all know that if Hiccup existed today, and was a real person, he would've been a pilot too. Maybe in the AirForce, on a jet black plane named Toothless.
HICCSTRID MOMENTS
No review of mine is complete without Hiccstrid.
Kirk and Molly have roughly the same hair colour as Hiccup and Astrid. My favourite scenes in She's Out of My League are the romantic montages of them going out. This is one of my favourite shots from the show:
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I crushed hard on Jay Baruchel. I mean, the dude has got some game. I mean, awkward af, but still, he's pretty cute. I mean... let me show you...
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I'm still smiling!
THE ROMANTIC MONTAGES IN SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE FELT LIKE A HICCSTRID AU FAN FICTION GOT PRODUCED INTO A MUSIC VIDEO!
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I'm not recommending you guys watch this show by the way. If you haven't that is. If you're not used to this type of adult-comedy, you might not like it. The pacing is a little choppy, and it does slap you w many cringy moments. But sometimes, its just so ridiculously hopeless you can't help but laugh.
I don't remember if the show did well, but its not a bad movie (to me). It was underrated for what it was trying to accomplish, but it could definitely do w some refining . Like, I would've loved it if they developed the characters and the romance more.
But at the time the movie was released, I think a lot of people related to Kirk. The whole, "on a scale of 1 to 10" thing has messed w a lot of confidences.
As a teenager, I reckon that's more of a problem. I remember that popular girls in school were always pretty and the hot guys were always good looking. And well, it's hard to not believe that looks don't play a part.
But, once I grew out of it, I honestly found those attributes to come in second to many other qualities of a person. Looks just happen to be a bonus. Hahaha, look at me, a day older and already issuing unsolicited advice.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HTTYD FANDOM!
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mzannthropy · 5 months
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Sam Claflin and the Ageism Comments
I've been meaning to make this post for... well, months now, the reason why I've been dragging my feet on it is that, honestly, it's such a non issue for me, but I just cannot abide how fucking stupid people can be.
So, what's up with all the "Sam Claflin looks too old on Daisy Jones and The Six", "Sam Claflin has aged comments"?
If these comments came only from incels of 4chan and Reddit, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, bc that's the type of stuff I expect from them. But, disappointingly, they came from DJATS fans.
Also just the sheer perplexity over people being surprised that a person is, gasp, ten years older than what they were ten years ago. Therefore, I have to speak up.
More under the cut.
Around the time DJATS was released, I re-listened to the audiobook, and I distinctly remember Daisy saying, upon meeting Billy for the first time, that he had lines around his eyes, even though he couldn't have been older than 29. Sam was 35 during the filming of DJATS, so yeah, he is older than his character, but I don't understand why this would be such a huge problem? Actors often play characters younger than them, but it's not just that. Maybe they couldn't find a suitable 29yo actor to play Billy, which is not an easy role. (Even Sam didn't get it on the first try, but they gave him a chance bc they knew he was good.) Also I just don't see what difference the ages of characters make in this story. They could be anything from late 20s to late 30s, even early 40s. It's a documentary about a band, not a coming of age story. I think that... it seems to me (and I could be wrong in my assessment) that for whatever reason, this fanbase is really young. (Didn't the book blow up on tiktok?) Maybe they presumed the characters would be closer to their own age, especially as gen z have this weird thing when it comes to age. I don't know. It's bizarre.
So what did Sam really look like on DJATS? Well, most of all, he lost a lot of weight. And sometimes it happens that when a person loses a lot of weight, depending on how thin they get, it might age them. I don't know how you can expect someone to get down to a size where they've left with hollow cheeks without this making them look older. In addition, Billy is a recovering alcohol/drug addict. Those things are generally not good for you.
So even if Sam did look older on DJATS--what does it matter? Is it not bringing the character to life that matters, the talent, the hard work he put in becoming Billy? Learning to play a whole musical instrument, making sure to get it right with regards to his character's struggle with addiction, by consulting the people who worked with actual rockstars who had the struggles in the 70s? Is that not what it is about?
If you only like films and shows with young people under a certain age, then watch those. There's plenty of YA out there for you to peruse.
Sam has been in the business since 2010. In that time he played such a variety of roles that a chunk of the audience don't even realise it's the same guy. He likes challenging himself, he has lost and gained weight as his roles demanded.
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Sam is 37 now and he looks exactly how a normal 37yo man would look. He's just more handsome than most. He is a very down-to-earth person and doesn't hang out with the Hollywood elite. He doesn't shoot up his face with botox. And good thing he doesn't. I'd rather have him with a few lines in his face than lose that smile, his most valuable asset.
I'd like to bring attention to another feature of Sam, not something that perhaps many notice, and not something you'd immediately notice when it comes to Sam, bc he mostly keeps them in his pockets--his hands.
These are not the hands of a person that looks too old.
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But hey, it's okay. You don't have to like Sam. There's plenty of young male celebs for you to fawn over. Us oldies will keep Sam, thank you very much.
(Note: yes I know women get it worse, but I made this post about Sam.)
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wubwubnparmaham · 1 month
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could i ask your pronouns? i talk about you all the time to my friends who i'm advertising love endless to, but i just feel weird if i'm doing it wrong.
It's no secret that i've gotten a barrage of asks like this over the years, and I always shied away from answering them, but I got one after this that detailed out they'd read "Only You Can Be My Alpha" and had picked up on some stuff I was saying there, and then got confused about why my author pseudonym was Marigold Winters, that I decided now was the time to talk about this.
This is as deeply personal as I'll ever get on here.
Answer below:
Only a small amount of people will see this, but I expect that some of the people that routinely ask about it will naturally be included in that group, so I'll speak to you guys directly.
I'm AFAB, I'll start with that. From the years of 2012 to 2015, I was severely sexually abused, day-in-day-out. Truly just, as bad as it gets, and I was a minor, and he was an older man, that somehow had the ability to steal me away from my family and live with him alone in an apartment before I'd even graduated high school. It's irrevocably tied up in the drug abuse I went through in that time period because he was a dealer on top of being an addict, so everything bad was all connected to the same abuser.
When I finally came out of that situation, without fully realizing what I was doing at the time, I wanted to separate myself from every single part of what I was when I was under his oppressive clutches. I didn't ever want to be seen as a girl again, or an object of sexual objectification to the male species. The very thought made me sick. I wanted to be untouchable. My name almost immediately became a dead name, never to be spoken again, because that was the name of the person who had been abused. I cut my hair off, I trashed my clothes, and I got rid of anything that that "other me" was connected to. I quite literally metaphorically killed myself.
Pre-trauma processing, this progression made sense to me because in middle school I was completely androgynous, and I wore boy clothes, and people I wasn't super close friends with used to think I was a boy because I had an androgynous name on top of that, and it used to make me feel good. Correct. I had a girlfriend, and we used to pretend I was her "boyfriend" in private, and I played the male role with her, and there were just so many other tiny details of my masculinity to look back on that I highlighted in my younger years as being "signs"; honestly, some of that was always coming from a very real place, but to say the timing of Jackson had nothing to do with trauma is a gross oversight. To me, though, at that time, it seemed to me that I'd always been heading in the direction of being a masculine-presenting person, even if I had this "big feminine phase" in high school, the timing of which my abuser was around for. Post-high school, when Jackson emerged, it started to feel like I'd been living some sort of lie in all that feminine-presenting "nonsense"; that my true self had always been the boy I was in or thought I was in middle school.
To speak on the name, my absent father had long since made the choice that were I born a boy, my name would have been James, so I went with that at first, but I'd always been distinctly connected to the name Jackson, and it was also the name of my hometown, so I changed it to that super early into being masculine-presenting, using he/him pronouns exclusively and FEELING like I was being entirely true to myself.
I lived this way for a long time, refusing to acknowledge any of the trauma I experienced and what kind of role it had played in me destroying the girl I had been. On top of that, at the same time, I was experiencing a barrage of health complications that came after such heavy cocaine use and the malnourishment that comes from that and concurrent anorexia. Some of you might remember the kidney issues I'd speak of in my author's notes and the surgeries that I underwent, even if I didn't speak on the rest of it. I used writing as a newly-discovered coping mechanism to get me through that tenuous time where I quite literally thought I was going to die (I was close to getting sepsis, and it was just a huge mess), and I had nothing but free time to try to get some of this shit in my heart out. Only You became an allegory for the gender confusion and dysphoria, and Love Endless became an allegory for the drugs.
In 2019, I started going to therapy and doing heavy trauma work, trying to find myself in the aftermath of everything that happened. I started to realize that Jackson was more or less a convenient escape of sexual abuse trauma rather than a truly lifelong truth about me (someone I wanted to be for the rest of my life), and it was incredibly hard to detach from that, but I knew I needed to. I went through this embarrassing "nevermind" period where I deleted nearly every picture of Jackson from my social media accounts, switched all my pronouns back, deleted posts that talked about anything having to do with him, and I never explained a fucking thing. I just didn't have the words. It was, and will forever be, TOO personal to give out the depths of all of that to people that still have to see me in real life from time to time, pft. The questions stopped coming after a few years, and now it's like it never happened, which is wild, but there you have it.
That being said, here in this ao3/tumblr writer world, the very world that I initially (semi-secretly) poured my trauma into and single-handedly used to get me through the aftermath of that trauma in itself, it was like I got land-locked. I was known strictly as Jackson here, because that's who I was when I stepped into this world, and after such a long time of associating me with that name and referring to me as that, I didn't feel the need to "correct" anyone, even when it wasn't the most modernly relevant thing out in the "real world". I still felt a deep connection to the man I had been, and it still felt genuine to remain as that person to an audience who weren't privy to any of these complex nuances behind everything to begin with, and Jackson IS the author of my stories, point-blank-period. I may have edited them non-stop since then, but he wrote the bitches originally, so it just....yeah.
To set the timeline, I detransitioned in late 2019 when I entered university, and I've been feminine-presenting ever since. Many of the friends I have now never even knew Jackson. It's all very surreal to me, honestly. I feel a certain level of "guilt" for not reporting this for all these years, but it's truly just so fucking personal and insane that I didn't know how to broach the subject. My deadname is still dead to me (still working on that trauma-processing aspect of getting my fucking name back), but I go by my middle name now, and it's been that way for the last four or so years, and she/her pronouns are the general standard in my "real" life.
I invite anyone to still refer to me as Jackson if it feels right because there's a part of me that still doesn't want to let him go; that still feels him somewhere in there, always valid and relevant to who I am in my weird ass history, and close to my heart.
But if you really want to know my name (if anyone ever asks—and not my deadname, mind you, but my middle name) I'll tell you.
That said, there IS a part of Jackson that IS still hard to contend with, because there's just unspeakable pain wrapped up in his desperate survival-mode creation, but I lived that way in my life for so long, through multiple relationships, being the boyfriend I thought I was in middle school but in a truly genuine way, that he's still like...idk, real to me? Jackson is inseparable from me, though technically part of my "past".
IT'S COMPLICATED.
I will always go by any pronouns you want to throw around in this universe of tumblr, because so god-damn much of me (every version imaginable) is wrapped up in this account. It's truly a free-for-all. Little known fact, but if you were to scroll down far enough in my page, you'd start to see nothing but drugs and painful shit from before I found one direction. So many versions of myself have been on this account, it's not even funny.
I'm sorry in a way for continuing this double life of sorts, and I didn't have to confess to any of this, but I felt it was time. I'm sorry that I ignored so many thoughtful asks of what my pronouns are, but I just wasn't ready to talk about any of this because of how entwined it was with the darkest of the darkest pain.
I really hope anyone doesn't feel upset by this. I love you all.
<3
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What are some of your favorite headcanons of "they should have been fat"? Like, characters you super duper view or hc as fat but they're not in canon, so seeing canon or fanart of them is shocking. It could be complete headcanon or ones with actual reasons where the characters are "fat-coded"! (I feel like that sounds really silly to say but I do genuinely think it's a thing)
It can be hard for me to figure out who falls under this and it isn't just indulgent "I kin them/in my kin canon they were fat" but I realize now that it doesn't actually matter which is which XD—and also this is distinctly different from "I headcanon them to gain weight/become fat as canon progresses or post canon". (But what I mean moreso is like a character that you just SO strongly view as fat that them being not fat is practically shocking.)
Like, I headcanon Mondo to get more chubbier muscular as he gets older and heals as a person and has a much more bear like (but definitely super strong) physique than when he was younger, which is different than for example, Makoto, who I headcanon to just be fat as is without any progression of time.
Azure made a post of a few of his (and well mine too) headcanons like this but it's super limited because it's just 3 x 3 and I know we both share more strongly believed fat headcanons than that including within just one series!
Definitely two of my biggest headcanons like this are Bianca from Pokémon and Usagi from Sailor Moon. I dunno why but Bianca just looks almost chubby in some art? And she just FEELS chubby to me... She is a fat trans girl to me!!! Usagi also is to the point where I'd say she just is fat-coded because it seems like the viewer is supposed to see her as fat because other people do and she often diets or has a very fat relationship with the world, but she's just not depicted as fat because like...either it's all in her head or it's just...animanga has a fatphobia problem
I've been thinking about all this because of Azure's post and it definitely makes me want to make a "bingo" of characters where they're fat. To me.
I should make a bingo where the characters are fat to me, I’ve been meaning to answer this ask but was busy!! But now I shall do so and just list some off the top of my head x3
I agree with the ones you mentioned!! Usagi is absolutely fat to me and always will be and I love her for it :3 and Bianca I never thought of but absolutely as well she totally is to me!!
Some I can think of is Rosalina, Shadow the Hedgehog, Ness, Ninten, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Hatsune Miku, Lum from Urusei Yatsura, Mami Tomoe, Isabelle from AC, those are some that come to mind ^w^
Characters who are kintypes of mine I also would say a lot of them are fat, such as Galacta Knight (he’s a borb but like, particularly just is FAT to me ya know..), Sonic the hedgehog, Sora from KH, Derpy Hooves, Applebloom, some Link iterations from LoZ, Mae Borowski, Madoka Kaname, Ryoga Hibiki, you get the idea but those are some I can say XD
Another category I can think of is characters who were fat but kinda slimmed down for some ungodly reason :/ that are fat to ME no matter the canon! Like Glimmer from spop, from Willow from TOH, and Mario (a kintype of mine but fits this category). I’m sure there is more but I just hate how common this is to me 😔
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greenreticule · 2 years
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Details on Dexter Jettster in The High Republic!
HE’S BACK, AND HE’S A REOCCURING CHARACTER IN The High Republic Adventures COMICS, STARTING NOVEMBER 30th, 2022!
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[ID: Dexter Jettster, a four-armed alien with a boney crest on his head, a wattle on his chin, and a huge mustache, dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt with a tan cape, black pants, and four blaster holsters, on a stage sharing a rousing tale with an audience. End ID.]
From Daniel José Older (the writer)’s Twitter:
And here, of course, is the one and only Dexter Jettster. In this era, we meet him as a master storyteller — a side of Dex you had probably intuited from his too brief on camera moment, but I wanted to see more of. He travels the galaxy having adventures and telling tales 
also MUSTACHE!!!!!
was very happy to be able to include him as a full part of the team and not just a walk on cameo. It’s a big ass team, in part because I kept coming up with new guys and also getting the legacy guys I asked for, so that’s wild, but they need all the help they can… 
Also a note on Dex: one thing I try to be mindful of in my writing is how we represent different body types, particularly fat ones, because of the long history of getting it wrong.
But the issue with slimming down a fat character when they’re younger wasn’t on my radar until [another twitter user, unsure if they want to be mentioned here] tweeted about it in a thoughtful thread a few weeks ago. I went to look at how we’d repped Dex in issue 1, which was already done at that point.
And I really wasn’t sure if we’d done that. The folks I checked with weren’t sure either. Decided to err towards getting it right and reached out to my excellent editor Matt to discuss, and we agreed to ask Toni [the artist] to make sure Dex looks properly fat in the upcoming issues
the in-story premise being that he’s wearing some body armor in the first two issues that he finally gets to take off later. Don’t usually go this in depth on issues that haven’t come out yet, but I think it’s important to be up front about these things.
critique is a sign of a healthy community.
There are many ways to do it, many ways to receive it, many variables in the equation. But this to me is a really good opportunity to be up front about process and the things we can miss. 
Doesn’t really matter what the intentions are when it’s a comic that thousands of people will read. The effect is what matters.
---
I cannot tell you how delighted I am that we not only get Dexter Jettster as a reoccuring character, we also get him as a reoccuring character by a team who are explicitly looking to avoid fatphobia in their work.
Just... holy shit WHAT JOY!!! It’s the thing I have wanted most from a Dex story, and honestly the thing I was never expecting to get, because fatphobia is so ingrained and acceptable.
Now if only Older and Co. can confirm him as demi-panromantic asexual transmasculine... :P
(Hey, a book earlier this year got away with coding Obi-Wan Kenobi as aroace so like IT’S POSSIBLE)
---
For more general details on The High Republic Adventures comic:
The lead character of this run of The High Republic Adventures is Sav Malagán, a Jedi Padawan who sneaks out of the Jedi Temple on Takodana to party with the pirates in Maz Kanata’s castle.
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[ID: Comic panels of a young, scrawny alien girl with green skin. Though a Jedi Padawan, she is pulling on distinctly piratey clothes, arming herself with a blaster. Her final outfit is a wide-brimmed metal hat, a poncho that nearly drowns her, and trousers that spill out of boots that are just a bit too big for her. She is ready for adventure! End ID]
Sav shows up for a few issues as a Jedi Master in the 2021 run of The High Republic Adventures. This upcoming 2022 run with Dex acts as a sort of prequel to the 2021 series. However, the upcoming run focusing on Sav’s Padawan years is supposed to be available to newcomers as well, so you can start off your High Republic journey with Dex, Sav, and the rest of Maz’s pirates.
But if you want more Sav (because she is awesome), please read the first run of The High Republic Adventures - available in full now - as well as the manga The High Republic: Edge of Balance, where she is a major character in Volume 2.
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mcalhenwrites · 7 months
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Man I GOTTA know more about Jacey and her childhood. I know Vivian wasn’t as big of a shithead to her but I can’t imagine he’s a great father either.
(Also sorry for not commenting on the last chapters yet the depression spiral got me and I’m barely crawling back out)
Sending you hugs! It's okay, take your time and take care of yourself first. ;A; Will put the rest beneath a read more due to spoilers. :)
Jacy's life is definitely different. The house I imagine she grows up in is quite modern and bright, and she's in a neighborhood with kids. Viv has had exposure to other ideas and walks of life thanks to traveling with Phineas, so he's less suspicious. He's learning to find the joys in hobbies and expand his knowledge. Not to say he's perfect, but... He's getting there. It's too late for his relationships with Sophronia and Howie, and he's tentatively mending things with Shannon, but at least he can do better for his sixth child. It helps that he's been around other people's children, too, in limited/supervised ways, and that exposure opens his eyes a bit too. (Example: Seeing Liesl and her siblings with their parents.) Phineas helps him with a lot too. Also... this is kind of a big groundbreaker, but Viv and Bee have something in common, although how they handle it is distinctly different/their desires are a bit different too? Basically, Bee never wanted to grow up. Viv, however, wanted a childhood at all. And both of them had to learn that the things they crave, they can have when they're older. For Viv, he knows he'll never have a parent, but Phineas does manage to show him that he can still have family where he's vulnerable around them. Still be hugged, still cry, still confide in and ask for advice, etc. (Honestly, this is where Viv has a lot in common with Shannon, too, only Shannon learned it ages ago and less reluctantly, and that's saying something. He was a stubborn one!) Viv has worked on his temper. He does lose it occasionally, but he has also figured out how to pick up the phone and say, "I'm too stressed, can someone please take Jacy for the day/the night?" (Well, at first, he does call her Judy. He's still bad about the whole names thing, I'm afraid.) He cuddles a lot more with her, and they spend a lot of activities in and out of the house. Jacy's close to him the way Sophie used to be, buuuut they don't bake. Jacy does not bake. (Eats, yes. Bake? Nope.) Jacy has friends and sleepovers, and Viv is a bit of a mess the first few times she's gone overnight. Definitely the father who overpacks snacks and underwear and maybe lingers a little too long before finally going home. He doesn't conduct sleepovers, though. Learns that's probably beyond his capabilities to handle that many kids at once. That, and there are a few residents who don't trust him after knowing his kids and hearing how he raised them. So they don't trust him with their children's welfare. Understandly! It's kind of a big deal he lets her go to school. And she doesn't have daycare when younger, but she has a network of siblings. Also, Shannon is kind of a hovering presence in his life. Which Viv doesn't mind - he's fond of Jasper, even if Shannon will never let his son alone with Vivian. Shannon watches Viv carefully. I can't discredit how much Shannon plays a part by just randomly showing up during the daytime with Jasper and food just to make sure that Viv is staying on track. Still, Viv's parenting does cause Jacy some anxiety and attachment issues? Like, just from the fact that stuff makes him anxious so it makes her anxious, and she ends up being a little bit too clingy/dependent at times. Which is where the network of siblings and Phineas and Graham and Odessa come in and help with that. And so does public school, honestly. :') Edit: also, he does lose his temper sometimes when he's frustrated with her, but it's mostly yelling, and even then, he has learned to catch himself, use ways to calm down, and apologize. Then he usually calls Shannon and/or Phineas, and they'll often come stay with him or even take Jacy for the night if it's necessary. (Shannon's usually the one who has her. Phineas still travels a lot, too, but Jacy and Jasper can also play together if they're at Shannon's house.)
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fantasmanya · 9 months
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"Might I remind you that I have a live soon and need to get up"
For that Rei received no verbal answer, only a huff and for the hug to get even tighter. He doesn't know how much time passed since being ambushed by the younger male, he distinctly remembers that it wasn't that dark outside, and it's not like he could check the time on his phone since Eichi seemed to tighten his hold if Rei did any kind of sudden movement.
Really, Eichi could get really cute when he wanted, but now Rei really needed to get up or risk missing the live.
"Tenshouin-kun... it's my last live this week, after that we can cuddle all you want, but I really need to get up now"
This time he managed to get a response out of the blond, albeit not one that was going to help the situation at all. Eichi slowly lifted his head, a pout on his face, and glared in his boyfriend's direction.
"Might I remind you dear Sakuma-san that you promised to go with me to that coffee shop Shiratori-kun so kindly gave us coupons to, only to send me a message saying you had an emergency live come up. Really it was a miracle Wataru was free this afternoon or your situation would be even worse"
With that the blond lowered his head and cuddled even closer, going as far as snaking his legs between Rei's so that he lost another way to escape, the black haired male remembers having to bail out of their date earlier that week, the only response being in the form of a message 'fine' it said and Eichi didn't answer or see any of his messages for the rest of the day. It was a miracle Wataru was available and was up for a last minute hang out with the blond, but he really did save Rei's life, he should set a reminder to thank wataru later.
The older got taken out of his thoughts when his boyfriend tightened his hold even more and nuzzled even closer to his chest. In reality making Eichi move was quite easy, between both Rei was the stronger one, but it would make the blond even angrier which could mean having to be on high alert the entire week, the last time he forgot kissing the younger before going way he woke up with a bear trap on the side of his bed that only missed thanks to Shiratori-kun's sudden yell to be careful.
He should get to a way out of this fast, since by the looks of his phone's vibrating non-stop for the last couple of minutes, Rei was probably going to be late or, even worse, not showing up at all.
The older decided that maybe bargaining was his best bet, he moved his hand and started playing with the other's hair before speaking up.
"Eichi I really need to go but... how about this, we can go to that new amusement park Shiratori-kun has been talking nonstop about, the one ryuseitai did their live in last week. We can stay there the whole day and go into those rides you like so much." Rei said and followed it with a small smile.
That seemed like it got the blonde's attention, if the little twitch he did was something to go by. Eichi was quite childish at times and Rei knew how to use it to his advantage when needed, so he continued speaking and petting the younger's hair.
"After that we can go to a nice dinner, Shu recommended me a nice one he went to last time he was here, and then we can cuddle all you want."
Finally, a spark of a way out, Eichi lifted his head up and looked at him suspiciously, trying to find a catch on his words of a lie on his face. After a couple of seconds the blond seemed satisfied with Rei's proposal and lifted his hold on him and rolled to the side to the mess of blankets they had made when Eichi ambushed him in their dorm entryway, the blond pushed the soft material to the side saying 'it's too hot to stay with all these blanked on Sakuma-san' and started his cuddle attack on Rei.
Really, Eichi was way too cute for his heart to manage sometimes. The older male looked to where the other had gone to after letting him free from his grasp, only to find the younger looking directly at him with an even bigger pout.
"Just so you know you were the one that suggested it so you better not bail out again, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you after all Sakuma-senpai" he said with a cold glare.
Eichi then tried to go back to his blanket cocoon but was stopped by Rei who gave him a quick kiss in his head.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world my dear Eichi~"
They rarely used each others given names, most of the time they were used was during their arguments, and every time the older said the blond's given name without the usual leer or sarcastic comment Eichi would get red as Rei's favorite tomato juice, the forehead kiss sealed the deal through it made the younger turn bright red and turn away from him.
Rei then remembered his phone vibrating without letting up and looked at the time, the live was supposed to start in 5 minutes, he could make it if he ran perhaps but before that he opened the UNDEAD hold hands chat and, besides seeing more than hundreds of texts of where he was, there was a new message saying the live would have a little delay thanks to sound issues.
Rei quickly shot a text to the chat saying he got held up with family issues but that he was going to the live venue as fast as possible.
The black haired male then looked over to where Eichi was huddled, the blond managed to hide himself even more into the blanket pile, Rei could only see his hair peaking out of it. The older could only huff a small laughter at the sight.
Rei finished getting ready and prepared to go to the where the live was taking place, but before he got out of the door he remembered forgetting something important and started going straight into Eichi's blanket pile and then spoke up.
"Tenshouin-kun I need you to look at me" he said with a soft voice.
The blond took a while to get out of his soft pile of blankets but decided to entertain the older and poked his head out.
"Didn't you have a live to go to Rei? Really I was-" he got cut off with a soft press of lips on his, Rei kept the kiss short it was only supposed to be a goodbye kiss after all.
"Almost forgot your goodbye kiss" Rei said quietly with a smile on his face and gave Eichi another small kiss before finally walking to the door again. Looking back he could see his boyfriend again going red, still on the same position Rei left him in.
"Tenshouin-kun I will be back later, don't wait up"
With that the older closed the door, he still had a live to do after all.
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6/3/2022
Every time I speak I roll the words in my tongue.
“Is this how a native person speak? I’m not sure, I don’t speak enough to know.“
This thought has permeated from English to my mother tongue. I truly don’t speak enough, so every time I say something, I notice the way my grammar is eroding, turning into English structures. Non-Native English, mind you, because I don’t speak enough to Native English speaker to know how Native English actually speak like. All I know is mine is wrong, somehow.
Last week, I changed my Netflix’s subtitle to my mother tongue. I still didn’t go out to speak with anyone, so my grammar still eroded. The therapist in my head was saying “Huge step!”, but I truly believed this is just one in a long line of failed attempts.
I’ve done so much to fit in, and yet I’ve only felt more like an insider. Anxiety grows above me like a precipitating cloud, and I’m counting the day until the downpour the earth. Which is to say the day I eventually snap, turn my back on society and can finally be diagnosed as a schizoid. Doom always feel freeing because none of it is perfect, and all of it is out of my control. I’m afraid of responsibility.
I’ve thought of getting a new day job this whole week. And tomorrow is Monday. I feel like a useless failure, and my mom’s praise that I’m becoming more responsible as I’m growing older doesn’t help. Everything she says put pressure on me although she doesn’t mean to. I seriously need to get out of the house, but going to the coffee shop and seeing people living a normal life make me feel ashamed. Seeing people makes me feel ashamed, period.
Thoughts that I have autism have been circling me all week. There’s a chance that is not true, I don’t have developmental problems growing up and I don’t have problems with socializing when I’m not too anxious. I do distinctly remember starting to stare at people because one of my old teachers said I should look at people when I talk though. I think I am definitely neurodivergent, although unclear what type. 
Seeing media about family makes me cry a fuck ton. I’ve finally reached the age where it is no longer uncool to admit you love your family and make a lot of mistakes and need to apologize for many of them. I fear the day when I have to apologize to my mom for taking my anger out on her. She did me dirty when I was younger, but she’s ill and a life-long grudge is looking less appealing by the day. Plus, being angry at her is not going to solve any of my problems.
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