#YOU GOT DIVORCED FOR A REASON

[lavendersblues]

Ted and Michelle had better not get back together. I literally care about nothing else with regards to Ted’s romantic prospects (I will ship what I like until the end of time) but getting back with Michelle is NOT A GOOD PLOT.

#it’s one of those #YOU GOT DIVORCED FOR A REASON #DO NOT DO IT #YOU WILL END UP UNHAPPY #this isn’t to say some people can be happy with the person they divorced but #statistically it is not good for those people #the hatchet gets unburied in every disagreement #ted lasso spoilers

[bowl-of-fruit-loops]

hey why did bill’s ex-wife move to clivesdale? literally no one from hatchetfield would do that. people die and go missing all the time and they refuse to leave. and if they do they don’t move to fucking clivesdale

#idk if more info abt bill’s ex wife is in nightmare time as I’ve only seen the first episode #but in the fiction I just made up bill’s ex wife isn’t from hatchetfield but she met bill in college #and they got married right after college and she moved to hatchetfield bc bull loved his hometown so much and she slowly (or not so slowly) #realizes something is Weird and Wrong about hatchetfield and every time she brings it up with bill #he’s like ‘yeah :) that’s hatchetfield for you’ #and his unwillingness to take her (very real) concerns about hatchetfield is part of the reason they get a divorce #another driving factor is she started looking for jobs outside of hatchetfield and was offered a very good position in clivesdale #and she took it (without consulting bill) bc it’s perfect they can move out of hatchetfield but still be close enough to visit #and sure there’s a bit of a rivalry between the two towns but that kind of stuff gets left behind after high school #only bill is very much Not Okay with that and maybe at first she tries commuting but traffic is bad especially across the bridge #and if bill would be sensible— #so they get a divorce and she gets majority custody of Alice which she’s grateful for bc she’s safer in clivesdale #and the of course alice keeps fucking dying in hatchetfield so #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[fluctuating-fanby]

"Why did Cecil mention Carlos's hair greying as if it hasn't been grey since the moment we met him??"

Possible Explanation: Finknor straight-up forgot somehow, or otherwise ignored it for the sake of the bit

Reasonable Explanation: Cecil is being sarcastic/passive-aggressive, this is just a character moment to show that he's still pissed at Carlos

Unhinged Explanation: THE SCIENTISTS MESSING WITH PORTALS FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE AGAIN, AND IT'S AFFECTING CARLOS'S HAIR ALA THE TELLY ENDING OF EP 133 ARE YOU SURE

#That last one is maybe probably definitely not true but can you imagine if that was actually foreshadowing #Next thing we know Cecil's mentioning he and Carlos aren't married yet again #And it'll be a 50/50 chance whether they got divorced or it's timeline/AU shenanigans yet again #FOR LEGAL REASONS THAT IS A JOKE I DON'T WANT CECILOS SPLITTING UP ANY MORE THAN YOU DO #welcome to night vale #wtnv #vince rambles #wtnv spoilers #carlos the scientist #cecil palmer #wtnv 234

[navree]

again, does chris parnell just make it a requirement that he be paid ten thousand dollars per minute or something, can't even hear him talk once even when he gets his character defining injury? i just want to hear him deliver another bitchy line, it's not too much to ask

#personal #my adventures with superman #at least we got to see him i'm taking my wins where i can get them #and you know considering that they made it superman related #and not addie shooting him in the head #and considering that slade in the comics was very much still into her even after she shot him in the head #there's no reason for this version of slade to just not be wife guying throughout the entire show #although i would still like for him to get his divorce because i think it'd be funny with how bitchy he is #but if he doesn't the least he can do is wife guy

[gggoldfinch]

holding myself back by the throat from making a pro vaultghoul rant post bc I keep getting recommended anti posts

#SEE NOW AND WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING TAG THE SHIP IF ITS SHIP DISCOURSE THEN WORRY ABOUT GETTING HATE? you’re an instigator #fuck it I’m doing it in the tags: #‘if I see one more ghoulcy post bla bla’ SHUT ! UP ! #people fucking LOVE enemies to lovers until there’s an actual prospective enemies to lovers ship #this is literally THE problematic ship site guys… come on #AND GHOUL WASNT EVEN THAT BAD TO LUCY he could’ve killed her every single time but HE DIDN’T #I’ve seen people argue that he has a wife ??!!! are you kidding me ?? he got divorced 200 years ago my guy are we watching the same show?? #like ​he wouldn’t be cheating if that’s what you’re worried about 💀 #the reason a lot of us don’t like vaultknight is because it’s boooooring #ooh super heteronormative good(ish) guy x good girl trope. snore #there is no tension between Lucy and Max. no stakes no drama. it’s rushed and predictable #I love Max as his own character. he does not need another character to fall back on narratively #whereas Lucy and Coop are literally narrative foils #they depend on each other for storytelling #get off your high horse baby it’s literaly fictional and has no bearing on the rea world #you’re not special because you ~don’t ship toxic pairings~ I DO move over

[sweetandglovelyart]

It’s a little bit late for Valentine’s Day but here’s the reveal of my cursed Kirby crack ship as promised: it’s Dyna Blade/Captain Vul and I envision their relationship dynamic as being like Donkey and Dragon’s relationship dynamic in the Shrek movies.

#my art #Kirby #Kirby fanart #Dyna Blade #Captain Vul #what do I even tag this ship as? Dyna Vul? #Meta Knight is shook lmao #sorry that this is a couple hours late I had to work today and got home kind of late so it took me longer to finish this #but anyways here it is finally my very cursed Kirby crack ship #they’re literally just Donkey and Dragon from the Shrek movies lmao that’s the vibe this relationship gives off #I started shipping this as a joke because I was wondering if Dyna Blade’s chicks had a dad/who the dad is #and I thought hey she and Vul are in the same game and they’re both birds what if Vul was the dad lmao #the main reason this ship can’t work is that Vul straight up shot her during Revenge of Meta Knight #she lived because we see her again in Star Allies but that would definitely end a relationship lmao #maybe they were together at one point and had the chicks but then they split up #Dyna Blade got the kids in the divorce lmao #maybe the reason we haven’t seen Vul in a game since 2008 is he’s hiding to avoid paying child support #Vul left to get milk and didn’t come back lmao #happy belated Valentine’s Day hope you enjoy this cursed ship

[deadbeatdadjokes]

DARKWORLD DIVORCE RATE AT 100%

#jo and I were talking about how funny it is to have divorce just be like #an INTEGRAL part of the utdr universe for some reason #and how if queen and spade got divorced essentially their respective domains are thereby also divorced by proxy #which is even funnier given the new evident spamvil information like besties of course you hate each other #your respective sovereigns are pettily attempting to remotely pillage each other’s territory in the name of alimony collection #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #? #spamton sweepstakes #only the important takeaways on my blog 😌😌 #(statistics)

[herawell]

.

#called my mom at 7am out of a desperate need for validation #had a 37 minute long convo that amounted to ‘you should look into therapy’ #(in a much nicer and more constructive way it was actually a very good conversation’ #and she told me that she’s been in therapy for the last year #and that it did wonders for her mental health #and that she went from being on the verge of divorce #to looking forward to spending her retirement with my dad and expanding her home business to cover health insurance #since my dad is currently unemployed and most likely isn’t getting another job (industry and & age related reasons) #and ofc I’m glad to hear that they’re doing better #but I’m wondering if she got thru everything she needed to in therapy #and if she’s sorry about last winter #when for two days in a row she screamed at me for hours on end #about what a failure I am and how much I’m a drag on the family #how I was responsible for their impending divorce #and she was going to gift my dad divorce papers for Christmas and it would be my fault #how I looked like a clown at my recent graduation #and a bunch of other things #if she’s sorry for how every year since I was 14 she’s screamed at me about how I’m responsible for their being on the rocks #how it’s my fault my siblings will grow up in a broken family and we’ll have to sell the family house of 25 years to pay for the divorce #for when in April 2020 she tried to [redacted] herself in front of me while telling me it was my fault and I’d pushed her that far #all while I whisper-screamed for her to stop bc it was midnight and my siblings weee sleeping in the next room #she has never apologized for any of those and I don’t want to bring it up now #bc I don’t want to relive the past #but I wonder #mother mention cw #negativity cw #divorce cw

[h-f-k]

what is joe jonas' intention by having all these "sources" telling TMZ how terrible of a mother Sophie is... men please die?

#like... WHY #there was absolutely no fucking reason #i also don't fucking care why they got divorced #celebrities thinking we care about everything that goes in their lives... #you got a divorce babes... it's a normal thing... it happens to normal people too #no one gives two shits

[veg-hotwings]

Not to push the divorce agenda (🤥), but after the war both Dabi and Hawks changed their hairstyle: Touya kept it white, Hawks short.

After all, changing haircut definitely is not what you do after a break up, right?

#dabihawks #dabi #hawks #touya todoroki #touya #keigo takami #keigo #toukei #fierce wings #cremation #no i will not aknowledge the canon reasons of this #i know touya did it bc he'd already revealed his identity + there was no point in dying it again #and that hawks hair got burned during the divorce fight #STILL #it has more flavour if you think they're just bitter for their break up

[lemonofthevalley]

my mom is so against polyamory but she was dating two other guys at the same time as my dad for a while LMAO

#you know what's consensual? polyamory! you know what's not? what you did! #and my mom was my dad's first ever girlfriend and they got married ........ (they absolutely shouldnt have) #they refuse to get a divorce bc religious reasons but refuse to get counseling bc theyre “fine”

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy #then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so #its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway. #max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black #already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu #shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white. #and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason #everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at #withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind #like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh. #DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not #here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking #no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i #he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t #him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself #ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so #like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is #nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too #anyway..... #simons spouting #simons fnaf au #OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc. #their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial #relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that' #'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess #michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being #annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective #if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a #a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.

[dandunn]

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that at the end of Joseph's route in DD his "talk" with Mary amounted to him convincing her to keep things together for the kids and his social image (because we know how easy it is to get a divorce in conservative Christian communities esp if you're a woman amirite).

Like people are real quick to throw the book (and the rest of the library) at Mary when she's evidently depressed enough to resort to substance abuse and can't even summon the energy to take care of her kids. She's just so very clearly at the end of her rope with all this and it ruffles me that people get more enraged with her flirting with other men while her husband has been going out and actually fucking them (potentially more than once).

And idk. The lived in state of the boat and how convinient the 'oh no we ran out of gas and the radios out!' thing was made me think my guy. This has happened before, hasn't it? Like you really didn't think to grab a backup canister of gas?

And if they got divorced what would she even do, is the house hers? Who owns it??

Idk I don't hate Joseph but i don't trust him either. I'm #teamWomen

#idk what it is about this game that makes me get my tinfoil hat on #I'm also team Robert and I wonder if he got the same oh yeah man I'm totally gonna divorce my wife don't worry #speech and the reason he hates Joseph so much is cause he was in the players shoes #AND Also notice how people lay the entire blame on Mary for not watching the kids #Funny I thought they had TWO parents #but jo gets to be the fun dad who socialises while Mary does everything else ig #Jesse rants excessively about a dating sim no one gives a shit about anymore #old man yells at cloud #Also I'm not fond of kids but like yikes #she really did not want to have four kids and you need two people to have a baby who kept CONVINCING her to do that

[around-your-throat]

people love being uncomfortably obsessive and invasive about some guy's personal life :/

#you really wonder if someone wouldve married their wife if they hadnt got her pregnant? or if their divorce prevents them from remarrying?? #or the reason why they cut off a close friend??? #is that really what you think about in your free time. are you fucking insane #throwing stones from the damn glass house here but can you at least have more decorum than the shitty tabloids gossip corner

[kawaiisimp]

One piece live action spioler ig:

When Mihawk went to show Shanks the bounty poster of Luffy, it was the same energy as a divorced mom (Mihawk) meeting with her ex-husband (Shanks) to show him that their child (Luffy) won an award at school.

#laop #live action one piece #live action one piece spoilers #op crack #im literally in love with this show and I hope they do get a second seson #one piece #not when you're half the man you used to be is just so divorced energy #then shanks joking after he said that is the reason why they got divorced #bro couldn't take anything seriously #probably laughed when the divorce papers were served tbh #cried on the floor for two hours once he realized mihawk was serious #mihawk handed shanks a bag he packed for him and told him to find somewhere else to sleep that wasn't in his mansion

[bigeloo]

If u fr have a axolotl can I see a pic of them :D

I don't take pictures that often so I had to scour through my phone camera, but here's Benrey, in all his silly glory.

When he goes outside of his little hideout cave, he loves hanging out either on top of his tank plants or on top of his hideout.

And here's some more of shoots with him

#he has a 80L/20gal tank #I need to buy a bigger one for him because that's the MINIMUM REQUIREMENT for axolotls #but I'm not too much in a hurry because the nitrogen cycle in his tank is stable #I also have a 40L/10gal betta tank #and a 300L/~80gal community tank #atp the nitrogen cycles in those tanks are so stable that I really only need to top off any evaporated water ever month or so #also fun fact about benrey: the only reason I have him is because of a divorce #I remember looking for local axolotl listings at the time and I couldn't find any in my city as axolotls are pretty rare here #and then one random october afternoon on my way back to school my senses go off and I'm just like #''I need to check skelbiu.lt'' and lo and behold. a single axolotl listing in my area for 20€ #the axolotl was being kept in a plastic tub so the situation was seemingly dire #so my dad set up the meeting (because I was and am too much of a pussy to make calls) #and we met up by this gas station which was by a highway #so I ask the guy ''hey why are you selling this axolotl? they seem pretty rare around here'' #and he said ''oh I had a divorce and my wife took the aquarium in it. she didn't take him though'' #so yeah this axolotl with a prepetual old traumatized guy face is here because someone's wife took the aquarium in the divorce #I got the 300L community tank through similar means btw #If you want pictures of my other aquatic critters feel free to ask #jūr.txt #jūr.png