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“can anyone hear me” and “its so dark in here” and “who said that” have got to be some of my fav things to say on a post because it brings to mind being locked in a room or lost in a cave, probably because of what youve said. not being called out in desperation, but in much calmer yet still resigned-to-your-fate way. in the case of “who said that” you’re saying something out the side of your mouth or under your breath, sometimes just fully out loud, then feigning bewilderment to whip around and look behind you. Sometimes in this case you’re in a vast and empty wheat field with no audience anyway. In all cases you’re definitely some sort of madman or loon or otherwise totally bonkers. just a glimpse into how my Posting Interpretation is.

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TOP 3 TRAITORS:

3. Brutus 2. Judas 1. Printers when you are in a hurry

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characters with no moral code are a lot of fun but characters with their own specific moral code that doesn’t align with the rest of the/their world are on another level always

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More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

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"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.

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"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

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people born in 24 Are 2000 now

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the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

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Mom says it’s MY turn to be the victim on the sacrificial altar 

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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my child had gifted me art. he calls it "meowlk'