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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year

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i dont want to talk about scrutiny

WHATEVER, FINE, OKAY, WE'RE DOING SCRUTINY, OR SOMETHING, FINE, WHATEVER, WHAT EVER

i love scrutiny, i do, but in the way that i love threshold, and nothing beside remains, and seeing it through, and a guest for mr spider. meaning I really do, but I also hate it with vitriol. Not really? It's complicated. I have Some Feelings Towards it. Yep. Look this podcast makes me feel happiness and sadness and anger at the same bloody time, but it's all confused because it's overridden by being Very ADHD about it, so like, they're all rattling around in there. I hate it (affectionate), I love it (derogatory), you get it?

Anyway, y'all know how I feel about Jon already, and if you don't, it's love and only love, so uhm, yeah, let's just get on with it already, rambling and mostly rambling, attempts to set aside my undying love for the Jarchivist for like a day, etc.

@a-mag-a-day

Firstly, I'd like to draw attention to the posts I made on my instagram story about this when I was first listening to TMA, because I was Not Alright.

The first was highlighting the description of the episode: "Statement of an unknown bystander, regarding an encounter with The Archivist." "The Archivist." Not "Jonathan Sims," not "Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London," not even "Jonathan Sims, The Archivist."

Just... The Archivist.

The second was regarding the first, saying that I knew it was deserved but he should be allowed to eat a few fears. As a treat.

I didn't say anything to my partner (who you should follow by the way, they're scarandjoelenthusiast), cause I think I was still attempting to be spoiler free for vex at that point, lol. And I had no other... friends. At all. Um. Yeah.

So, onto the relisten! Oh boy.

MARTIN Ah, alright, did he... did he look like he hadn't slept in about a week?

I absolutely love that Jon's descriptors are looking like shit, and looking like Jesus. That's just amazing.

Also uh,,, why did Martin immediately go to Jon? Hm..

Everything, every bit of light or sound or, or anything that changed, that said time was passing. There was nothing. Before that I never really thought about time, you know? But now… Yeah.

that must have been terrifying

So, it, it took a long time to get over that. I mean, that’s not weird, right? I me— It was a bad time. You know, it, it stays with you. Was signed off, what, I think about six months with the injuries. Had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean, obviously, right? But, uh, but, but I did my physio, and, you know, talked, talked with the counsellor they gave me. Look, I did everything I was supposed to and, and yeah, I… I guess I was fine. You know, once the bruises were gone I— Well, it’s easy to blame memory, right? You know, ha-hallucination, coincidence, all the classic shite you tell yourself. Life went back to normal. I— I was fine. Until about two weeks ago.

Jesus fucking christ, Jon. She was fine, trying to get over it, Floyd was fine and that's just it, because they think they're safe, and-

She was fine, she was okay, and he took that from her, he took that from her, he made it so she couldn't be fine anymore, he made it so every god. damn. night she'd experience that again, the bastard.

There’s this creep in, in the corner. Your guy. He just… keeps staring at me, like, like properly staring. Like, it is super intense and, and real weird. Like he knows me, but I sure as hell do not know him. I— I try to ignore him, look, I just, I just read my book, and every time I look up there he is, watching me.

Girls when they realise oh yes, he's an avatar.

So… Look, I’m packing up, all done and, and I just, I just sorta turn, you know, just, just to check if he’s still there and he is standing right behind— Like, like a few inches from my face. Look, it’s messed up!

That's??? Terrifying?? I mean, look, like, my sisters jump whenever I quietly stand behind them and stare intently, and they're my sisters, they know me, they know I only joke about stabbing them with a knife, Jon, that's freaky, stop being freaky, you have trauma at home. Go eat a stale trauma for gods sake.

Like, okay Mr. "I don't think it's me doing it." Who sat at a bloody coffee shop for an hour.

I. Understand. That there is a certain. Need. To cause and feed on fear. As an Avatar/Monster/Whatever. And I mean like it's pretty hard. To admit you're in the wrong for something. Even if you think you're in the wrong for other things. But like. None of this matters to Jess, to Floyd, to the three other people whose lives he ruined. He can try be better, he can never do it again, but he can't go back and fix it.

And I start to ask him, you know, what the hell, man, you know? Like— But he just starts talking. Slowly. But real intense. He says, he works here, at the, the Magnus Institute, and I say, what even is that and he says, he wants my story. He says he needs to hear what happened to me. And I— I want to tell him to jj-just go away. I want to, to, to kick him and run. But I— (long sigh) I sit down. And I start to tell him everything. About the job, about the collapse, a-about the hand. More than I told you, even, and, and as I do— it’s like I’m there again. Like I can feel it grab my ankle, th-th-that cold, dead hand and I just… I just can’t stop talking. I cannot shut up.

[ID: A blurry photo of CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

And then it was over. And he looked— He looked at me like he’d just eaten, like a perfectly cooked steak. You know what he said? He said, “Thank you.” “Thank you.” Just like that. Like, like reliving the worst parts of my whole life were just a bit of a… a favour that I’d done him. And then he left and I— I just sat there and cried for a while.

i don't know what to say im just sitting here with my head in my hands.

And he’s there the whole time, just… watching me. Watching me scream and thrash and… He’s all eyes. He’s all eyes.

I kinda want to punch him right about now, because how dare he do that to her, how dare he ruin her life just because he wanted to. Whatever, avatar, feed your god or it'll feed on you, I don't care, that's his business, not hers. She wasn't involved, she didn't have to be involved, she was fine and he took that from her, the bastard!

How dare he sit there talking about choice, how dare he feel all guilty for ruining her life, how dare he! He doesn't deserve to feel bad about it. Christ, Jon, what the fuck.

But I feel like I’m seeing him when I’m awake as well. I’ve been… I’ve been having a lot of problems since he talked to me. Since I talked to him. Since I told my... story. The, the claustrophobia, it’s back, worse than it ever was and I can’t do my job. I have these, these screaming panic attacks every time I try and— What am I supposed to do? Like, feels like, like every time I’m even slightly underground I— Can’t even go into a shop basement more without feeling that… (sniffs) hand. Every time I do, every time I get that panic just rising up my throat, I see him. He’s there. Not when I look properly, but just at the edge. The corner of my eye. Then he’s gone.

(MAG 142 - Scrutiny)

Since then, she said she’d been seeing that woman everywhere she went.

(MAG 6 - Worm Sex Episode Squirm)

✨ becoming what you hated ✨

No, but I have a lot of feelings on becoming a fear entity Avatar and the cycle of violence. Of how Avatars often only became Avatars because of previous trauma, because they had no other options. Of how they often don't see themselves as victims, for example Annabelle Cane describing herself as manipulative, even as she was a child trying to cope in an abusive household. And I think that Jon being like Jane Prentiss, following his victims like her, starting to understand her... that ties into those themes. I love this podcast <3.

MARTIN No, no, it’s— Thank you. I just— [Agitated clatter] For god’s sake, can he not just stay safe for like, like ten minutes?! DAISY I don’t think that’s an option for him anymore. MARTIN Yeah, I mean, sure. But he just… he doesn’t think! He always just immediately charges straight off into danger with whatever, whatever half-arsed plan occurs to him at the time! I don’t get it! DAISY What’s to get? MARTIN What? DAISY I, I mean, it’s pretty standard stuff. MARTIN What? DAISY Used to see it all the time back in the force, especially with the sectioned. Not like there’s ‘normal’ trauma, you know, but it’s pretty common. The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms. Even when it’s stupid or dangerous. Anything to not feel helpless. MARTIN Oh god… DAISY And of course for Jon’s there’s survivor’s guilt in there too. He thinks he’s not human. Makes him very… self-destructive.

PODDED CAST!!

Thank you, Jonny.

Like hgnhhrnhhnr <3 yep. mhhnm there's another post that talks about the meaning of putting that in with scrutiny, I'll tag a mag a day in that.

Like! Aa! Thank you. Don't really have much to add, I mean I said a bunch in other episodes rambles, specifically the MAG 131, 132, and 136 ones.

I mean you know, the whole spider thing, a bit of his self-blame about... the end of season 4... could come from... if he's not to blame, then he didn't have any control, then all of this was out of his control. If he couldn't stop it, if Jimmy Magma's plan was that good then... well, then he was helpless, and there's nothing worse than being helpless.

in conclusion, disregard the above Jon did nothing wrong- no, he's... he doesn't get to be forgiven by Jess, by Floyd, by the others, not unless they choose to forgive him. But he can work on doing better, you know? He's allowed to not wallow in guilt the whole time, he's not irredeemable, he just did bad things -- bad things he can't fix -- but he can work on never doing those bad things again, on mitigating the damage as much as he can. He's not a bad person, just a person who did bad things.

I dunno, I'm more interested in the metaphysics side of philosophy. You know there's a branch of philosophy called metametaphysics? I think it's so funny.

#tma #the magnus archives #mag 142 #jonathan sims #jess terrell #tma meta #a mag a day #landscaping-your-mind-chapter-one #podded cast <3

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whimsicalwhespir · 2 years

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My ROTTMNT Headcanons:

_________________________________

Mikey:

-Slaps bandaids and stickers on everyone when they're sad! Also does the same for himself

-I love how everyone agrees Mikey can cook but I'd like to think he's memorized everyone's favorite meals and makes them on special occasions! He also totally teaches Casey how to cook so the poor boy can have a healthy and productive hobby to seperate his apocalypse life from this one

-Absolutely 100% is the most connected to his mystic abilities. He was the first to unlock them and overall shows a more deep seeded understanding of how they work. Draxum is also silently fascinated by him

-Follow up to the previous hc, after the Krang, Mikey totally trains every night to use his powers and the first thing he does is levitating a piece of pizza into his mouth

-Therapizes every single person in his family, they act all dramatic about it and poke fun at Mikey but they really do apprecate it

-Hides in his shell whenever he's sad and since it's super obvious, his family catches on quickly and can comfort him

-Has like 800 stuffed animals

-His art covers like 70% of the lair because Splinter and the boys keep hanging it up proudly and asking Mikey to make murals of them. Same thing applies to April and Draxum pretends to hate every drawing but in reality he has a special room dedicated to Mikey's art in his apartment

-Is the most empathetic of the group and knows exactly how to calm everyone down on bad days or nights

-Legally cannot say fuck (but Donnie is trying to influence him)

-Has scars on his arms from opening the portal and paints over them, turning them into art (ex: lines turn to vines with flowers or tree branches or little snakes or whatever), whenever he's down

-Painted a huge mural for his gram-gram in the lair

-Sobs hysterically at sad animated movies and shows (*handshake*)

-Calls Draxum mom and/or secondary dad

Leo:

-Sings obnoxiously loud in the shower

-Watches telanovelas late at night and gets really really into them

-Regularly practices sleight of hand and uses it in battle (once went to Hypnopottamus for lessons and neither ever talked about it again but Hypno is secretly proud of Leo's progress)

-Is a hardcore theatre geek with knowledge of plays and musicals that could rival Donnie's knowledge of other topics

-Tries to make people laugh any time he can, even if it's at his own expense

-If he could get a pet, it would be a bird so he could teach it phrases like "Dee is a nerd" and then follow Donnie around all day

-Has a bunch of nightmares about the Krang debacle and checks on everyone after he wakes up just to make sure they're okay. (Sometimes he runs into Raph and they both silently check on everyone together)

-Refuses to tell Donatello that he's his favorite brother because Leo knows it'll just go to Donnie's head

-Used to hate his face marks but his brothers kept telling him how cool they were and nowadays they regret it because all of that just fed his ego (they secretly don't really regret it)

-Couldn't sing if his life depended on it

-Is SUPER good at lying but uses it for good more than anything (ex: when they were younger, he once noticed Donnie not sleeping for a few days so he pretended to have a nightmare and asked Dee to come sleep with him to scare away the monsters. Donnie was our like a light in less than 5 minutes)

-Will do the most insane dares just for the honor

-Regularly goes to Hueso for advice

Donnie:

-Has somehow memorized every digit of pi and literally nobody understands how

-Listens to rain noises when going to sleep. Cannot stand the rain in person (it gets his tech wet)

-Is fantastic at making digital music and makes songs inspired by people and events in his life. He's also not great at singing but wow this man can rap

-Shouts "the floor is lava" at random intervals to see his brothers scramble

-Is the only family members with a driver's license

-Records EVERYTHING and due to this, he puts together people's compliments about him into a playlist and listens to them to either build his ego or just make himself feel better after a rough day

-^^^ Alternatively, he sometimes listens to people's insults as well. And oh boy, don'tcha know he also has the most traumatizing points in his life recorded too! We love listening to Leo sacrificing himself to the Krang over and over again

-Has organized the dishes in alphabetical order

-Really likes anime

-Keeps every gift ever given to him and organizes them neatly in his closet

-Really wants to exchange notes with Baxter Stockboy

-Has named all of his inventions and kisses them goodnight

-Experiences some side effects from controlling the Krang ship, such as tech being influenced by his emotions

-Takes and teaches dance lessons in secret (he uses a disguise)

-Is the best medic in the family and heals people's injuries after battles with assistance from Mikey who slaps bandaids on everyone

-Comes up with super elaborate comebacks to insults in his head after arguments but they all fall apart within 2 seconds of talking and it just devolves into calling people dumbdumbs

-Has an automated lab like Reagan Ridley from Inside Job (also unrelated, but they would totally be friends if they met)

-Uses humor to cope just like Leo

Raph:

-Is the only turtle brother who can genuinely sing

-Has stuffed animal play dates with Mikey's stuffed animals (they both try to keep it a secret and thinks nobody knows but EVERYONE knows and finds it hilarious)

-Collects coupons

-Has snacks stashed around the lair for snackmergencies

-Is the first one his brothers go to for comfort

-Carries his brothers at least 20% of the day

-Loves animals with all his heart but all of them hate him so Donnie made him a robo kitten when they were kids

-Volunteers to feed Repo Mantis' cat on weekends

-Cleans when he's stressed out

-Has eaten a whole watermelon in one bite, rind and all

-Constantly posts on social media but every picture is horrible quality

-Makes his brothers do team building exercises at least once every week during training

-Like Donnie, he also has side effects from the Krang attack but they instead take form in more psychological ways. He constantly questions if his thoughts are his own and if what he remembers sre nightmares or reality. He sometimes hears a voice in his mind but isn't sure if it's just an intrusive thought or something more

-Used to punch a specific spot on his wall whenever he got really excited because he can't keep his energy in so Donnie made him a special punching bag

-Loves watching Mikey cook and helping when he can

_________________________________

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA HEAR MORE HC'S ABOUT THESE GUYS OR OTHER CHARACTERS LIKE APRIL, DRAXUM, CASEY, ETC!!! I HAVE M A N Y.

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt raphael #headcanons

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hazbinhoteloc-ninlil · 2 months

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(a message for the mod :D)

sorry if i'm bothering you with this ask, mod. it's fine if you don't answer this. i know that my words can't worth much to anyone on the other side of this screen, but my gosh i'll try to spread the positivity and my appreciation for all RP blogs, so i'll send this in, mod. there could be a better way of doing this, which i have learned is through the art of tagging (yes i'm slowly learning my way through Tumblr because i, myself, am still a huge Tumblr newbie, lol), and i'm too nervous and shy to do something like that haha, so here's a personalized positivity ask in your ask box :D.

first, i love seeing your OC. their design is such a cool one, both of the designs. they are just so cool. i'd wish i could have interacted more but i get crazy anxious with things that i'm not quite familiar with, but i wish to interact more in the future :D.

the lore that you have made with the other RPers is that even a word? i don't know and i hope that i'm not pulling that word from out of nowhere, lol. is literally so cool to see. but that last one before they ascended just tug at my heart strings T^T.

i do hope that those anons/people would stop sending everyone hate because frankly those people have no clue what they're talking about >:(. you all are frankly so cool and lovely people, so >:(. again, sorry i'm bothering you with this rather man, i didn't expect it to be this long ask.

and that i hope that you have a wonderful day/night/whenever you manage to read this ask. don't feel the need to respond if you don't want to, just wanted to send this positivity ask in :D.

you might be able to tell who this is, but in case you don't, i wouldn't want to expose myself, so i hope you understand this being on an account with literally nothing but a tracker of who i've been to already (yes, i made an account just to do this but without any identifiable information on this account :P).

luv you and all that you do for this community :D.

you do what you do best so keep on doing it, mod :3.

-spreading positivity anon :D (the anon account that only interacts with mods unless the characters are in need to raising their spirit :3, even if this is an account.)

(yes i see the contradictory notion of me having this sign off, lol, but i'll also probably be around the other RP blogs and try to spread some positivity with the same sign-off as an attempt to fight off the unnecessary hate that seems to be thrown around :D. and i will become a virus which spreads positivity if i need to >:3)

Ooc: // Hello sweetheart, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words.

This is what I meant when I said I am so proud of what this community has become, I’m so honored to be able to be apart of something that seeks to lift up and make others smile, while also gathering to support one another through hate.

Those Hateful anons haven’t come near me, and for that I am grateful, it makes me sad that they went after some of my friends however and I’m glad they seem to have stopped. Hopefully they will reflect on their actions and realize flaw in their own behavior.

I don’t expect apologies from them though it’d be nice if they do read this. “It Starts With Sorry” after all. 😉

I love story telling, writing and drawing. The fact I was able to Share Ninlil with you all and you all have been receptive and fell in love with her has made my heart full. I’m sorry I scared people with her almost death in the Last RP. I was not yet aware of the negativity being spread, otherwise I would’ve put a disclaimer stating her soon ascension. I have no plans to leave this platform anytime soon.

I love you all, and I hope you have a wonderful week, have plenty of food to fill your stomachs, may the weather be fair, and may you be surrounded and protected by joy and peace.

My heart bleeds and goes out to those who are unable to be in peace right now, and I hope they find peace soon.

#hazbin hotel #ninlil #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin oc #asks #ask answered #ooc post #ooc #long post

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pastel-rights · 8 months

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Rate your friends

oh this anon finally decided to come around [insert tracy happy here]

uhhh it'll be underneath the cut because it's gonna be. long as hell BWAHAHA apologizing ahead of time if I get sappy 😶‍🌫️

sap

sapppp

Rina [ My first real internet friend 🫡]

RINAAA I see you. I see your art. I perceive you.

And, even if we don't talk as much as we used to in the past, you'll always be the first of many great people I've met. And, I really love and appreciate your presence in my life. Dare I say it was life-altering!!

Ocean, Shamia, Arella, and all your other ocs, I'm cradling them in the palms on my hands so so lovingly. I have so many things I need to tell you to be honest !! But goddamnit I have work every night so I'm always busy doing something wahhhh

Anyways.

New Shamia reference when? I need to draw her and her blonde bitchass dog [ jack ] again they're so funny and I miss them 😭

Blue [ My lifelong irl to internet friend ]

From an IRL friend to now an online friend, we just can't get rid of each other. You're so cool...

You don't use tumblr so, I won't talk much further... but I do appreciate you. And all your silly Itto shrine moments.

Tae [ My Beloved Wife 🫶🏼]

She's the Cro to my Lee.

The Shuichi to my Kaede.

The President Barbie to my Stereotypical Barbie.

The Kafka to my Bladie [ unfortunately /lh ]

Theeeee Raiden Ei to my Yae Mikooooo.

My wife is many things to me!! I really really love your art and your writing, and you're always so kind and funny and I just wanna grrrrr I just want to hold all your ocs and all your muses so close I love them all 😭😭😭

although

YOU.

YOU

FUCKING

ASSHOLE /lh

THAT ORPHY EDIT. THOSE KAFKA BLADIE EDITS. THAT PEACE AND FRIENDSHIP TRIO EDIT. TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME INTO THINKING EVERYONE ELSE ISNT REAL. THE MURDER. THE KIDNAPPING. THE DART. THE FUCKING DART. OUGHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE YOU FALL THROUGH THE SKY, JOHN. KER-FUCKING-SPLAT, BITCH. I think you've driven me insane. A little bit.

But.

We're so good we are so good. Don't even WORRY about it.

Sam [ My Infamous Brother-in-Tumblr Law ]

Sam you're so. /pos

I think the Immortalpheus AU has permanently altered my perception on life.

Your writing is. well. it's painful /pos

You're so cryptic and really funny yet you and your sister make me say some weird shit during work. Like the uno cards and the Dazai shenanigans and Immortalpheus moments and whenever you drop some life shattering fics and shit you drop on others.

Crazy.

You're a very nice and fun person, all jokes aside!! You're very cool and very amazing and a delight to game with and just fun to be around??? your AU lore and your bots and everything is just so.

mwah

good friend good friend!!

french /j

Piano Immortalpheus forever immortalized isn’t that funny

Navi [ My detective in arms ]

NAVI.

OUGH.

THOSE VERITY JOURNAL ENTIRIES.

IM SO.

OUGHHHHHHH

Your art and your way of expressing your characters and your son in your writing are just soooo good I rotate them in my head so often.

Whenever I see you posting about your crimes to Tumblr, I simply giggle. Get em, Navi!!

We don't talk very often but like. I'd love to talk more. plot. commit shenanigans. heart hands.

Fifi [ fucking fifi /lh ]

I want to clasp my hands around your neck and rattle you violently /lh /pos

How are we friends /lh

We've been friends so long, it's kind of insane??? I remember first talking to you during Amy's opening event and everything just sort of spiraled from there... and every day with you is. an experience!! /pos

Still waiting for the Tower Bifty interaction fr fr [ they try to murder each other within the first five replies /j ]

Carrie [ my favorite mike enjoyer ]

CARRRIEEEEE

Number One Mike enthusiast the real Mike enjoyer.

Im always so giddy whenever you occasionally message me, even if it's just to check on me or show me how you torment Sam /lh and your writing and way of interpreting differing IDV characters and skins is so good??? I love reading them they make me so giggly.

Overall 10/10 friend would ramble to given the chance

Pins [ my boss /ih ]

MAFIA FISHHHHHHHHHH

stunning

beautiful

talented

pink enthusiast

My actual best friend, dare i say the bestest friend in the world???? every moment I spend with you is a blissful and amazing moment, and you've been through so much with me and the fact you stayed throughout it all????

I'm just... really glad you chose to stick with me this long. I can be a very abrasive and impulsive person, and yet you care for me, even with all my flaws and I think that just... says a lot about you.

You're the Jade to my Chiaki.

The Rook to my Epel.

The Deuce to my Ace!

Also your art just solos everything I glow whenever I see it

Skye [ my twst buddy !! ]

Grabs you

Holds you

Rattles you

Is friend.

Is friend shaped.

Approved /lh

Four [ floyd kinnie moment ]

Stop tormenting me with the take a break floyds you SCARE me

Never will be over the fucking

Ghostbusters Floyd edit

I flex my Beans Floyd in memory of you

You’re not dead I think you’re just somewhere in the distance squeezing someone like your life depends on it

10/10 friend when we ignore the four imposed breaks /j

Beth [ my favorite aesop and naib enjoyer ]

You.

Holds you gently.

The Aesop player

The Panda Naib haver.

The beloved

The silly.

✨ Beth ✨

Your art? Immaculate. I such a adoration for your art, and whenever I’m able to catch your drawing streams??? I’m just in awe!! Your colors and outfit inspirations are just so cute so nice so well done???

You’re so. You’re so cool uwahhh

MarioGuy [ where do you keep coming from I know damn well it isn't the door /lh ]

I feel like you kind of just break into my house sometimes and make yourself known before randomly disappearing through a non existent back door /pos

You’re a delight to be around!! Every match with you is a bit. It’s uhm. Something!! /lh

Please stop breaking into my home

Rice [ i occasionally remember that Mi Bianca thing and cry a little ]

Every time I see you pop up in my notifications I just smile and giggle.

We don’t talk often but you’re just so cool and awesome and your muses are so funky fresh and your art is so good and ????

Yeah.

Klai [ you. ]

You.

Chaos gremlin.

You never learn.

But you’re funny so I guess it’s okay.

Your art is so. It’s like a shiny gem 💎 and I WANT it. Holding it hostage.

My precious friend’s doodles.

Never trusting you to prime a cipher though. No hard feelings /lh

10/10 friend!! 0/10 decoder though /j

Orange [ ORANGEEEE my favorite chaos gremlin ]

ORANGEEEEE 🍊

So funny

So talented

So cool

So so cool

Your art is so good, you’re so funny and talented and a wonder to talk to. Your ideas are so creative so unique and yet so unequivocally you and I just…

I love it!!

Orange stop being so cool /j

Clown [ the greatest step-parent on the scene!! ]

This is utter insanity Clown you can’t be EVERY MUSE’S step parents there has to be a LIMIT!!!

A LINE in the SAND!!!!

Clown PLEASEEE

But also your art.

I’ve talked so much about everyone’s art

Yours reminds me of the feeling of waking up on a snow day and realizing school is canceled.

It’s always such a delight to see!!

And while every time you open your mouth, I get a little more worried about you, you’re so so cool /lh

Lupi [ you. x2 ]

imagine arson? imagine it no more im approaching your house at rapidly increasing speeds with my hello kitty lighter /j

Sleepy [ 🫡 ]

Sleepy!! 🫂 so cool,,, you’re so cool,,, /pos

Emma [ Sorry. Only one monster lover can exist in this server peacefully. GET EM. - emma ]

The caption says it all.

Also Tatya stop accidentally seducing all the muses or nearly getting stabbed or exploded or hypnotized you are worrying the GIRLIES! /lh

Al [ you have the vibes of the drunk wine family member in a /pos way ]

I don’t talk to you often but whenever you come around, it makes me so giggly. You’re very funny and your art slaps!!

Joe [ joe the silliest ]

JOE

Joe

Joe!

Your art? Funky fresh.

The lore? So interesting I love the little snippets I see floating around.

You’re so creative

Your Embrace is so funny they scream sacrificial lamb uncle who’s kind of fun at parties /lh

They’ve also got a really nice and warm personality, chaotic yet chill and relatable.

Kind of reminds me of Sam but without the entities 🫶🏼

Nakki [ you. x3 ]

Grabs you like a squeaky toy

That’s it that’s everything tbh

Kory, Boris, Brian [ and the rest of the McMun's Hut /lh ]

And this goes out to all my friends and acquaintances in the McMun’s hut! What is wrong with all of you /pos/lh (except you Boris, you’re an Angel)

Everyone there is super chill and super nice, and they’re a lot of fun to be around. So many differing personalities yet it’s always a vibe somehow.

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bubblegum-snowdrop · 3 days

Note

is the sidebar ur durge

She's one of them, actually! I had a couple ideas, so I had a few :3 That one is Mercy. Yes, that irony is intentional, lmfao.

The dweebs:

Mercy [sidebar gal currently]:

-Asmodeus Tiefling, Archfey patron Warlock

-Chose her name and uses her pact as reminders to resist the Urge, and tries very strongly to defy it and avoid violence whenever possible. Basically, as goody two-shoes as a durge can be.

-Her hair changes colour over the course of her journey as she resists the Urge. Started black to red fade, currently it's all black. It'll eventually end up as all white :3

-Love interest is Astarion [it's complicated]

Azure:

-Half-High elf, necromancy wizard. Looks like a corpse with her creepy skin tone.

-Angry, revenge-hungry, looking to get back at the mind flayers and whomever made her experience the Urge. Uses her... unnerving appearance and overall Weird Vibe to get what she wants.

-Trying to resist the Urge, but unlike Mercy, she's much more willing to use violence and violent solutions to get what she wants. Ironic that she's a squishy wizard.

-Love interest is Lae'zel [they make each other better]

Narah:

-High elf, Way of Shadow monk

-Literal evil bitch. Very cold and calculated about how she does things, giving in to the urge more... selectively, but she doesn't deny it. Her allies are safe, but she lets the urge go WACK in fights. She's also just mean.

-Ignore the outfit, this was just in the character creator so I could make myself a visual ref for drawing. She doesn't have a save file yet.

-Love interest is Lae'zel [she makes Lae'zel worse]

Natari:

-Mephistopheles tiefling, storm sorcerer [once again ignore the outfit, made myself visual references. She has no file yet either]

-She's the worst one. Literal, honest to hell, giving in to the urge fully and revelling in it. She delights in it. Creepy vibes all around, says weird shit, lips are always eerily red even without lipstick. Yes, her eyes also always look that creepy.

-Only her love interest [Minthara] is safe. She cannot be forced to resist it for anyone else. Highly recommend you do not interact with her.

-She and Minthara absolutely make each other MUCH worse.

So basically they're on an Evil Spectrum. I'd categorize them as:

Mercy -> Neutral Good

Azure -> Chaotic Neutral, leaning a bit towards Good

Narah -> Lawful Evil

Natari -> Chaotic Evil. Run.

#I'm bad at doing alignments bUT I TRIED!!!!!#I love my girls even when they're evil bitches <33333 #I don't have many evil characters [my heart is a marshmallow] but!!! I have a few for the future.#I think some evil runs will be fun :D #but most of them are good-aligned. Because as I said... my heart is a marshmallow. And I am a jamtart.

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catboii · 5 months

Text

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

#ooc post.#.vat file #rl illness ment-#rl death ment-#readmore.#I think I'm ok for now. I'm sorry about the stuff mentioned at the top but I'm not sorry this post is so long. for once.#you don't have to read it. but if you do? then hey. thanks. we're besties now.#I had a little rant about him and it's cathartic but I'm trying not to break down tbh #I think just expressing how much I loved him helps. he was just. so pure and wholesome in reality.#always showing how much he appreciated people...

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iamthecomet · 8 months

Note

Daily update on Into the eyes of fire:

As it‘s pretty early, there might be a second update coming later

You‘re so right. I often struggle with giving up as soon as something doesn’t go as I planned/wanted it to.

This project means a lot to me and I think the fact that I’ve already mentioned it so much to you helps with keeping me at it (because I can’t just give up and never do it and nobody will ever know nor care)

It makes me so so happy that you‘re excited for it! /g

Those days suck. Usually the only thing that helps is sleeping and hoping the next day is better (even tho then I’m often scared that the next day might be just as bad)

We definitely do ♥️

Yeah, snuggling with owl plushies has helped surprisingly much. It‘s an old habit I just recently picked up again, but plushies truly are very nice (and owls simply mean everything to me. I‘m not getting called Owl for no reason xD)

Today started terribly, but I managed to get myself together somehow which meant I was at least a little productive

I’ve also drawn a little, but I’m planning on going on with that now

I read that ask about casual ghoul nudity and it totally made me think of ItEoF, because it‘s the main reason why I decided not to host it on webtoon

And now there is an entirely naked ghoul on the second page lmao

So yeah. There‘s gonna be a lot of casual nudity in it

~ @owlishanon

I am also very guilty of quitting something if I'm not immediately good at it. Or as soon as it starts to go wrong. It happens to me a lot with craft projects. But I've gotten better about following through--and trying again if the first time isn't what I want. Perfectionism is super not healthy, and I'm trying to break myself of it. Not everything has to be perfect. Just doing it at all is something to be proud of. I'm glad that talking about it keeps you motivated. You can talk to me about it whenever you want. It's fun to hear your thought processes about it and I'm excited to see it take shape! Today was a better day for me than yesterday (not perfect, but better and that's all I can ask for). I also snuggled with some plushies when I went to bed last night. And when I got home from work the keyboard I thought I'd ruined was back up and running (thanks to my partner cleaning the absolute shit out of it and doing everything he could to salvage it). My keycaps are still a little sticky, but they all work. I really really love casual nudity ghouls. They're so important to me. I'm glad you're including them. It just feels so normal that they wouldn't have any of the same humans have around nudity for so many reasons! I'm glad you're going to include it!! I hope the rest of your day went well and you got some drawing done! I have the next two days off so I am going to try to get some crafting and some writing done. We'll see how successful I am.

#comet comments #owlish #comet's anons #I've been trying to crochet a little ghoul #I bought a pattern for it and have made a couple version of it and it keeps coming out not how I want #I'm hoping the third time is the charm

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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Sup, I've been silently lurking and liking stuff on your blog for atleast 1 year now (I can't exactly remember when, I just know that it's probably a year now if not then almost a year) and I love your art so much. Your MineDai art is lovey and funny (and what introduced me to you), but seriously... you creating MasaDai art is the wish I didn't think would happen and thank god it did. I see it as a crack ship and almost no one ships it from what I've seen before, so to have someone do some art is great and it's from you so it's more lovely. The moment I saw Masato's emo looking punk ass and know that he is around the same age as Daigo, then dressing up in a more formal way in his later years... I knew this can be a ship, a funny one even (and even funnier with Ichi and others). Thank you for this blessing.

Anyways, I love your art and it always makes me laugh or atleast smile. Ngl, it also did motivate me to keep improving and practicing to draw better 💙. And maybe create some fanart as well when I'm finish being shy 😅 lol

(Ps. I noticed something and I find it funny how people tend to (mostly) ship Daigo to characters that are canonically dead or never to be seen again after their appearance in one canon game XD. Like bro's romantic life is a mess, they be leaving or dropping like flies. Okay that's it, bye bye. Have a good or atleast a decent night/day. 🤗)

hi howdy lurker, thanks for stickin round so long ! :^)

ALWAYS happy to hear people likin my stuff and how it can make their day better whether it's makin em laugh or it's just something they can look at and go 'oh sweet', it's my main drivin force for drawin so much so i'm glad to hear it every so often ^^

SAME ON MASATO/DAIGO THO i remember playing Y7 and my immediate reaction to masato was just that he was like daigo if rgg leaned more into him being goth and it KO'd me. i just needed them to be A Thing immediately- AND THE FACT HE DOES BRUSH UP AND 'BECOME DOMESTICATED' IS SOOOOO (masumi saying that they should think similar to each other since they're about the same age is, while very VERY small, does feed my delusions more too so that's always fun). i can't even blame people for not expanding on their potential more though: masato already is a controversial character to talk about, so trying to discuss him for too long kinda gets awkward. i'll be the freak soldier willing to bear that burden of loving him tho 🫡

i could talk hours and write essays about masadai so i'll spare you the rest of the ramble: it makes me so happy to hear people pick up drawing more after following me 😭❤ art's so fun and it's always great seeing what other people can make and do, and it's such a personal experience so whenever i get to be a part of that somewhat it makes me overjoyed :') i'd love to see what you make if you ever want to share it with us anon 🤭 but no pressure, i get being shy about wanting to share things you draw, so even if you never post anything just know i'm still supportin you and what you do and i hope you're havin fun !

#fave #snap chats #replying to the PS down here because my tags basically function like a PS segment lmaoo #but yeah no it's not daigos fault his interesting dynamics only include dead/one-off characters </3 #honestly i like that tho. something about the exclusivity makes it better somehow #i mean we can see if aoki survives in 8. which i dont believe but ill never forget the day i finished 7 and everyone was copin LMAOOO #ouuugh anon you shouldnt have mentioned masadai cause now i wanna draw them #but i woke up to my arm being numb so i wanna conserve whatver durability it has left for the comms i have this week 😭#guess i'll just have to write hehe #anyways again !! this was very sweet to boot up me computer to :')#i cant stress how much i love gettin asks like these they really do start my day off right #i hope you're havin a lovely one anon ^^ and i hope my posts can continue to make you happy !

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theoriginalladya · 2 years

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21, 31, and 39 for Caleb?

from this list

*rubs hands together*

21. Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Oh goodness, a tough one!

Actually, yes! They do share some. Start with... PIANO. Caleb learned from Nan when he was young and the rest he picked up along the way. Kaidan is classically trained. They do have a lot of fun with this during the war once Anderson gives Caleb the apartment! lol But after the war, Kaidan gets Caleb a piano the first Christmas they spend together. Whenever he's home, the two of them will play it together again; but mostly Kaidan just likes to listen to Caleb play.

I think Kaidan gets Caleb into reading more just for the pure pleasure of it after the war. Caleb reads, but he never really gets into reading for fun until then. It's not really a conscious decision, just the simple fact he's never really viewed himself as living his life FOR himself - it's always been for others and there's always so much to do. So, during the war, Kaidan starts to introduce him to some fun reads - fantasy, mysteries, history, etc. - and after the war, it's far easier to find him reading something he wants to read. They both end up reading to the kids at night, too, and that helps.

The other thing about Kaidan is he dabbles in sketching and painting. Caleb's seen him with a sketchbook a few times over the years, but Kaidan's never shared anything and Caleb hasn't pushed. On their honeymoon in Greece, Kaidan pulls it out and goes to town drawing and painting watercolors of their trip. He fianlly shares them with Caleb, too. They even spend an afternoon with Kaidan trying to teach Caleb how to draw, but Caleb quickly realizes it isn't something he'll ever be good at, so he just sits and watches while Kaidan sketches out a scene and then paints it, so they share the interest, I guess you could say, but it's limited to Caleb watching, mostly. lol (the man knows his limits!)

31. Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

Ahaha. Okay, so...suffice to say, sort of? Kaidan's mother is Irish, so he grew up hearing a number of Irish phrases and expressions, so when he meets Caleb and hears him speaking the language - usually in moments of high emotion or stress - he usually understands it (though Kaidan can't necessarily speak it, or speak it well, himself). After Caleb is lost over Alchera, Kaidan looks into learning more and during those two years, he picks up quite a bit. But it isn't until the very end of the war that Kaidan lets on he knows, and has known all along, what Caleb's been saying. With the kids around later, it's impossible to not pick up some phrases and use them on a daily basis, but Kaidan doesn't ever get to that same level of fluency Caleb has.

I'd say it's a fair bet they'll complete each other's sentences at some point in their lives, but I'm not suer exactly when/how/why that happens just yet.

Not so much a matter of knowing when the other is hiding something, per se, but Caleb is as much an 'in his head' thinker as Kaidan is, so they can recognize in each other if they're starting to retreat into themselves and overthink things. Usually, all it takes is a touch and a word or two, just a reminder they're not alone, that kind of thing, and the other will come out of it.

39. Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

Okay, so this is the question that tells me I HAVE answered these asks before in the past for them because I remember @urdnotflexthejedibard asking me this question for these two.

Now, that said, things have...changes a little since he asked, so here we go.

Who initiated the relationship? - hard to say because they've sort of danced around each other for years before they actually have anything other than a friendship. Technically speaking, I suppose, it's Caleb who initiates it because he's the one who asks Kaidan to stay when he's leaving.

Who kissed who first? - Again, technically Caleb. Caleb and Rosa are on an undercover N-7 mission. Kaidan just happens to be in the right place at the right time (or wrong place at the wrong time, take your pick! lol) and gets recruited into helping. During the mission, to avoid having his cover blown, Caleb kisses Kaidan. "Just business." So... yeah, first kiss. Roughly 2181-ish, give or take a year?

When did they realize they were in love? - Okay, this one hurts but I think I finally have it sorted out. Over Alchera, after getting Joker away in the escape pod and he's thrown free of the ship, Caleb still has a comm connection to Kaidan. Caleb is too focused on trying to stop his O2 from leaking out to realize it, but he falls into speaking Irish over the comms. At one point, he says, "Kaidan, is tú mo rogha" - basically, saying he chooses Kaidan. Kaidan never has a chance to say anything back to him at that point.

Now, it isn't until seeing Kaidan nearly killed on Mars that Caleb actually starts facing up to the fact he has considered Kaidan as far more than just a friend for a very long time. Still, stubborn Irishman is stubborn, and he doesn't say anything directly TO Kaidan about it until post-clone mission (which happens almost immediately (they get Tali first) after the coup attempt).

Thank you so much for asking about these two!!!!! <3

#mtreebeardiles #ladya replies #mshenko #Caleb Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #OTP: Brothers in Arms #mass effect #Ship Asks

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fungal-wasted · 2 years

Note

For the ask game

Narrator 1: number 11, 19 and 45

Narrator 2: number 40, 22 and 7

Please :3

Jakfkddn themmm something tells me you didn't ask me about them before because you werent aware of them, or you didn't know how to refer to them which, valid, Idk how to refer to them either.

The "narrators" don't have names and are basically the "main characters" in my current WIP. The reason they lack proper names is that I couldn't think of names for a while and nothing fits, BUT ALSO I want them to feel relatable and a bit like blank slates, and I want to explore the different contexts in which we don't call someone by their name even if we do know what it is. So yeah, formally let's just go by narrator 1 and 2

Summary (bc they have main character privileges and I have thought about them for a while):

Narrator 1: in general they're decently logical, not too confident because of unspoken guilt, and sort of adventurous.

Narrator 2: sometimes spontaneous, not introverted at all, and not really admired.

Narrstor 1:

11 - logical: they're prone to daydreaming and thinking of hypotheticals, but they're definitely logical. They're quick to draw conclusions from what they know, figure out more complex or abstract ideas and take decisions based on that. I'd say they got that pretty well.

19 - confident: HHHH not very. One of the issues of this character is that they've always explored different possibilities but they still have not found their calling in life or an identity to stand by. They can get a bit self-conscious and try to seek approval from others to both know what they're good at and who they should strive to be. HOWEVER, part of this... lack of confidence comes from [redacted] which they tried hard to suppress but it may become relevant for the story soon. They feel guilty of something and that regret is still carrying even when they're not fully aware of what it is.

45 - Adventurous: Between N1 and N2, N1 is the one that feels more drawn to explore other places and is the best prepared to do so. They're not a great fighter though, even if they're pretty resilient. Still, this whole idea of going around the kingdom and seeing the places they used to know after so long since anyone took care of the place is super intriguing to them. They also enjoy the idea of walking everywhere, to get a good look at everything around them and create a good mental picture of the world around them. They'd love to be the guy you could ask about a place and they could response "Oh I know everything about this!" and just infodump tips about the place.

Narrator 2:

40 - spontaneous: Yeah! They're quick to think and come up with ideas whenever there are several viable paths. As long as they're in terrritory that's somewhat faimilar for them they'll be fine! I'd say they're both creative in what they say, like coming up with a comeback in an argument, and in solving some practical problems. They're not much for overthinking things and prefer to just go with the flow and hope they made the right call.

22 - introverted: Naaaah they're on the extroverted side. They can do small talk with anyone, they had a few share of friends and were in general a joy to be around. Still, everything that's happened to them kind of makes them look back on those days with a hint of nostalgia, because the world feels too broken for that part of them to be relevant. Sure they're an extrovert but why does that matter? Better make sure to make it through the day.

7 - admired: Again they're very average for a bug. I feel like it sounds boring on the outside but it's a bit of The Point for this character. That doesn't mean that others don't see virtues in them though. They're agile, they're creative, but yeah Idk if they've found anything that would make others admire them. It's like looking at some stranger who passed by you on the street, no big deal.

#fran ocs

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sinnabee · 2 years

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FAQ

Are you accepting commissions?

No, I'm not right now. tbh commissions stress me out a lot lol, and i kind of function on a "i can only get myself to work on this if i am personally invested in it" type basis, and people like to commission for fandoms that i'm not always in - which makes it super hard for me to work on! AHH. if i ever do open them up though, you'll see a post about it! :D

Update: I am! Currently they’re closed to the larger public, as I’m doing limited comms for some friends in discord servers first as a bit of a test run. (You might have seen me post a few things!!) But it’s been going well! I think once I’m through with these, I’ll open up comms for realsies. ^^ Keep an eye out for the post!

Can I repost your art on Instagram/Pinterest/Tiktok/Wherever?

Nope! (: Don’t even bother asking lol! Idk why you’d want to repost it at all tbh, i am not that popular, most of my art is sketches bUT IF you feel the need to, just know that I’m not cool with it! I don’t really want my art on platforms that I’m not also on, and even if I’ve got an account there, well. My brother in christ, if I wanted it there, I would have posted it!!! I don’t care if you give credit, or even link back to my blog. Just…don’t do it, pal. thanks.

Do you do drawing requests?

Yep! Not all the time - only every now and then, and I usually only allow for about 3 requests. I make a post every time I open them up, and it's usually updated (all the slots filled) within a few hours or so. If you don't see a recent post about requests being open, or see it on the pinned post announcements, then they aren't open atm. :)

Do you draw NSFW?

This is a new development - but lmao yeah I do! However, you almost certainly won’t be seeing it show up on my art blog here. For the most part, I try to limit myself to “suggestive” rather than straight up nsfw when I post art. That means I won’t really be taking requests (or comms) for NSFW, either, not to mention I’m only just getting a handle on drawing it.

That being said - PLEASE don't send me messages about NSFW things, or with NSFW content or images. I’m talking asks, mostly. That shit gets deleted fam. >:T That would include like, something super gore-y or needlessly gross, btw. I'd rather just avoid people trying to show me that stuff all together.

Please also don’t send me unsolicited NSFW, either. I love my followers! But receiving like - explicit excerpts or images from someone I don’t know, but that follows me, is very jarring.

Again, that being said - if you want to write or draw something based off of one of my more suggestive doodles, just let me know!!! I’d LOVE to know!!!Asking for permission and then writing and posting something to Ao3 or what have you is a totally different ball game than dm-ing me something unprompted/un-solicited.

Do you reblog NSFW?

Like I’ve said before - I have zero problem with NSFW. I’m not going to reblog explicit NSFW content here - if I ever had a need to, I guess I’d make a side blog for it? BUT

Every now and then I might reblog some suggestive content or something with some partial nudity. Whenever that happens, I’ll tag the post for people who want to avoid that content - typically with these tags!

#cw partial nudity

#cw nudity

#cw suggestive

#cw slightly NSFW

If you don’t want to see them, please go ahead and blacklist these tags! I know most of my followers are here for Sun and Moon content, so I’m giving y’all a way to avoid this stuff. ^^

Do you have a twitter?

yeah i have a twitter, and it's the same username as here, but i uuuuuh barely use it? lol. it doesn't really get updated much;;;; i MIGHT start using it more for sticker stuff tho, so we'll see. i won't STOP you from finding it (it ain't hard) but like, idk why you'd want to atm

Why do you love bees so much?

okay like have you. have you LOOKED at them??? they're just fat little boys. bumbling little lads. they buzz and they collect pollen and make honey and are just wonderful all around. how could i NOT love them. also at this point it's like, My Brand™ lol. I prefer to go by Sinna but you can't forget the bee. LOVE bees. :D

#sinna babbles #FAQ #woooow look at meee making my blog like #organized and stuff???#wild #i'll update this as needed :P

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shirpowbra · 1 year

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Updateee :> (prepare, it's gonna be a long one)

heyoo, I know I said before I'll give you all an update but things have been escalating downhill rather fast on my end and I'm quite, well, overwhelmed how to put it into words

well first things first, the maid we hired for my grandma ran away and took some cash from her, didn't even have the audacity to close the gates of our house when she did. I got too busy in helping with the chores around the house which are many. Luckily tho, we have cameras installed and she left most of her important documents to us so we could make a pretty solid case against her.

And the second one, whoo boi.

My...mom is in the hospital. There were lumps found in her uterus in the past and all of a sudden they all just came out one day. She was incredible pain so we had to rush her to the ER right away. I have to be left behind to the house in taking care of everything in the house. That's why I haven't been able to draw these days, even though I miss it a lot haha.

A lot of people have been visiting the house out of concern, though they're mostly there for my mom and grandma. Sure, they'd leave food for us but it mostly felt like just a way to stroke their egos and stuff, I dunno. They didn't even try to ask how I felt about everything if I'm being honest, but maybe it's just that I didn't really open up to all of them...they all come from church and if I show them a slight hint of "worldliness" I'd be lectured, and boy I don't want any of that. Guess you can call me shallow for thinking like this.

In all honesty...I really don't know how to feel right now. My mom, well my whole family, aren't the best people to be around with. Whenever I'd call them out on their BS, I'd be gaslighted and I'm left questioning if everything I'm feeling right now is valid. An individual is valid to not forgive someone who wronged them, but if you say that to my family, they'll see you as someone who's selfish.

I kinda wanna be happy that this happened to her, yet there's this nagging thought behind my head telling me that I shouldn't... I know I'd be a bad person for thinking that, my sister's already does that's for sure. I guess (emphasis on "guess") I could try and forgive but I don't know if I could still love them just as before.

My mother's still alive...just, barely. The doctors couldn't operate to remove the lumps off her because her hemoglobin levels are pretty low so we'd prolly have to wait till June or July for it to rise. They'll maybe come back home soon next week since staying over in the hospital for weeks now cost a lot.

I'm gonna be honest...I'm scared of the inevitable. Scared that there's not gonna be much hope of me and my mom reaching to an understanding and scared that none of my relatives would take me in when it happens because they'd rather tend to their own business and all. They never bothered to help us with grandma's needs...why would they help me now?

I'll still be posting stuff, though I think they're mostly drawn from months before and I wish y'all would like 'em. I think I'll also make a few announcements here and there and hopefully I'd be able to draw or make some art again. I do miss it and it helps me get my mind off things.

I've finally let out all of my thoughts, and I know it seems uncharacteristic of me, but...please pray for me. Whatever happens, I just wish that everything would turn out okay in the end.

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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Hi I'd like a Mystic Messenger match-up if you still do these!

I am genderfluid and Omni and Im also an INFP (not sure about the number thingys i dont really get those) and Pisces Sun, if that even matters.

I have medium long dyed blue hair, green eyes and Im 5'7

Usually people say my eye color changes a bit if I feel strong emotions.

I usually am quiet and gloomy around other people, but tend to be a good listener. I have a lot of knowledge of other people and have warned others that if they mess around with me, I will not be afraid to use that knowledge against them.

People say Im intimidating until they get to be closer to me. Im not really the one to ask for advice or talk about your problems, but for what its worth, I can listen. I am curious to secrets and tend to be a little annoying/pushy but I never mean to. I can get insecure and unsure of stuff quickly. I also tend to ignore others when I feel sad or upset and just stay in my room for a while. I don't have more than 3 friends, whenever I try to make a new friend, I get scared that if I get too close to them, they will hurt me. So I tend to not trust/talk to others immediately when I meet them, though when I do like you, I can get obsessed easily. I can be very stubborn and competitive too.

I have some hobbies like drawing or playing instruments. I also love video games, but only the ones I have played for a while. It can get overwhelming for me to start something new without preparing. My favorite colors are Purple, Blue and probably Cyan and Im pretty much of a dog person, since I have three of them living with me. But I dont mind cats either, Im just allergic to them. (I have a bunch of allergies if Im honest)

I think that was all, I hope this was not too long, thank you! <3

I match you with...

Vanderwood!

You're the kind of person that has a kind and compassionate heart. You care about the people that are in your life but sometimes you hesitate to get close to them. It's this innate fear inside of you that feels as if if you say too much or do too little, it will only make them hate you or tolerate you. It can be difficult to maintain friendships when you get inside your head about these sorts of things. That's why you need a partnership with someone who can navigate difficulties with communication in a way that isn't overwhelming for you.

That means that a good choice for someone like you is Vanderwood. This may come as a surprise to you but they are really good at mediating conflict. They know how to handle the situation because it could be life or death. That isn't the case anymore, but it's something that they are acutely aware of. That means that they maintain an understanding of what it feels like to be on edge. So you don't need to be afraid of finding the place to meet in the middle because they are very blunt and obvious with what they're thinking and feeling. You never have to second-guess yourself.

You know how to handle yourself, and that's good, because they never have to worry about you being able to be strong enough to stand up for yourself. However, they will help you now and again if it's clear that you need it. I mean that's just a part of a relationship.

#anon #ask #mod kait #matchup

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alemonyoyo · 2 years

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Reminders of the Princess <3

The petals are supposed to be reminiscent of Princess Kenny! So implied K2 I suppose, since i hardly ever draw for that ship-

Also I reverted back to an old style of lighting, it feels weird to use it again!

Finally, South Park art. I did it- I drew for South Park! You better like this, drawing in general has been really hard for me recently-

I tried some new things here. Rather than doing a full sketch of the drawing, I used brief guidelines and the last image (which normally would be my sketch) became my lineart. I think this made it look more fluid and dynamic, and less rigid and plain.

Art/General Rant- You don't have to read, I just need to get this out somehow-

Recently, I've been really, really unhappy with my art. I think if you've seen my posts often then it should be semi obvious. I don't exactly try to hid my distaste for it, though I know the whole world doesn't revolve around me, and it's not guaranteed that you've seen every self deprecating post about my art.

It's just very hard you know. I'm not all that old myself, but I'm definitely not young either, so nowadays, whenever I see people who I think have better art than I do, and they are younger than me, I can't help but just lose all motivation to ever continue. It's weird, because whenever the alternate happens, and I see gorgeous art created by people older than me, I only get more motivated to create and be like them. It's simple pettiness and feeling threatened that makes me feel the way I do about younger artists, and because of that, it's hard to feel fulfilled in my creations. Most of the time, I just block these artists. After all, it's better to stay out of conflict and jealousy, and blocking is the best way to do that. But some of these people are my friends who I have unfairly hinged a lot of my happiness on. And in turn, being around them in general, online or otherwise, makes me euphoric and both self hating all at once.

It's kinda for those reasons and more that I don't believe I have been truly happy as of recent. Like properly. If you asked me from 2 years ago how I felt, I'd say I was happy. Sure, I had *felt* sad but I wasn't *sad* overall. But now, ever since lockdown, this year at school, and everything mentioned above, this fact has flipped, and although I am capable of feeling happiness, it's in bursts shorter than what I need to keep going, and I've wanted to give up many times. Overall I'm sad my mood gets ruined, and drawing was once an outlet for whenever I felt this way, but for some reason my own expectations make me feel like it's no longer something for my frustrations, it's something I must be good at, but I'm not. I'm not good at it.

A broken record I might be, saying my art is bad. I'm sure it's annoying for the lovely people in my life who have told me otherwise, but from my perspective its all pitiable phrases said to ensure my esteem. I just can't believe it. And it feels worse hearing it weirdly enough. Which is so utterly stupid, and completely my fault for thinking that way.

A lot of this is due to my happiness hingeing on the many things which make me feel so bad, which makes my mood completely messed up and wild. Tumblr in itself is a big one for me. I am practically always on it if you've ever noticed, and the only time I'm not is when I'm asleep. It's one of the few things that gives me interaction, escapism and comfort. Yet it is also the source of a lot of my hatred, a teased negative passion, and jealousy. So I come on the sight, hoping to feel better, and only feel worse. So then I'll come back to the sight mere minutes later hoping to feel better.

And it's the same thing with many of my friends, who I talk till they're probably sick of me. I talk to them when I feel terrible, about whatever they want, but I always feel conscious that I talk about myself too much. And that and the factors above also contribute to this terrible feeling. I know in my heart they can't hate me, yet the lack of texting first and more convinces my heart otherwise. And so I have convinced myself that most people in general heat me for my overbearing nature and lack of development with my mental health, though I've tried to be better I don't know how.

I've tried to pursue things for better mental health, all things considered, I am one of the few people I know who has never reached out for proper help. Mostly because I have a brother who already does, and my family focuses on him and his problems more than me as I am the oldest, and although I communicate my struggles to them, they aren't really valued. And this lack of attention on that front makes me come on here and complain, yap my mouth like I'm doing right now to a vacant space. Make me hinge my happiness on people who have no idea I do so, and that every time their offline it makes me one inconvenience away from tears. I'm so weak now, I wish I could go back to pre-covid me.

Anyway back to art- I find no comfort in it, and its really hard to draw, especially for South Park. Recently, I've had a source of immense motivation for it (though, that will hopefully be revealed at a later date so stay tuned!) but drawing for it outside of that is quite difficult- I can't tell you what I hate about my art. I just do. I can't tell if it's the artstyle, the content, my technique and understanding, my posing etc. Which is why, if you have read this (insane- but I love you), please, just tell me what you hate about my art. It's really all I want to hear at this point, rather than people reassuring me my art is fine. Critique will help me get better after all- And it's easier to be harsh on people when online than it is to be nice (I'd know for sure heh) so go ahead. Please.

And thank you for reading,

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