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rintoki · 8 months

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characters: neuvillette x dom!reader

cw: handjob, neuvillette’s inexperienced, mentions of pee LMAO (very briefly), ambiguous relationship, also in his office lol

a/n: couldn’t think of a title, sorry for any mistakes i’ll correct them later on too lazy too proofread rn

thinking about neuvillette exploring human emotions with you. happiness, sadness, heartache, yearning; he begins to understand them, experiencing them with you. you listen to him, trying to articulate what he’s feeling and then patiently explaining it to him each time.

but now he’s experiencing a completely different feeling; one that he can’t quite place. almost like discomfort, and at times it makes it hard to breathe, but somehow he doesn’t dislike it. he can feel it in his chest, his muscles, and his thoughts are sometimes spiralling out of control whenever he looks at you. as he tries to focus on your face, the urges he feels to drag his eyes down your form are almost carnal.

eventually when he can no longer take it, when he feels these desires may cause him to act in a way he fears may be unbefitting of him, does the chief justice confide in you. but neuvillette is an intelligent man; he isn’t completely clueless about human mating processes, and he’s keenly of how his lower half reacts to you.

but as is his nature, he needs to be sure. even when you’re sitting in front of him, patiently waiting to hear what he has to say, he feels the urges in his body, the yearning to be closer to yours and the thoughts that run rampant wondering about how your hands might feel. on his chest or along his waist, on his hips or around his—

neuvillette catches himself before his thoughts get out of control again, a small flush overtaking his cheeks as he clears his throat; thankfully you were in the privacy of his office. but he refocuses his mind, thinking over what he wants to say to you in a way that you can understand, and doesn’t make you uncomfortable.

the expression on your face remains neutral as he speaks, even as he describes how his body starts to feel hot, and how his thoughts often take on a more lewd direction, however, choosing to omit the fact that you are the subject of his desires. neuvillette feels an uncharacteristic lump in his throat, something he now recognises as nervousness as he awaits your response.

but you smile kindly, “it’s natural for humans to feel sexual desires to those they find attractive, even if the intention is not to ‘mate’ or create offspring. if such desires are reciprocated, then humans often have sex simply for pleasure.”

neuvillette feels heat creep up his neck, almost sure that it’ll reach his cheeks soon enough. your explanation was one he expected, however, the reaction his body has to listening to you say it outright was not something he could control. the idea of sex with you now planted in his head as you observe his reaction, thankfully able to keep his face as stoic as ever.

“monsieur neuvillette, are you feeling such desires towards someone?”

“… yes. it seems that, recently, i have started to feel this way towards you.”

the silence that ensues was quite deafening. the both of you staring at the other as your brain processes what the man in front of you just said. meanwhile, neuvillette isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be feeling now, merely awaiting a response from you. if you were to feel the same desires as him, he supposes that you two will… proceed with what you had described earlier.

“monsieur neuvillette—”

“please, just neuvillette.” his voice is unusually soft, almost unsure now. your relationship has always been a little bit ambiguous; from the start the man has always expressed an interest towards you that you have explained to seem romantic, however neither of you have ever officially declared to be lovers.

“neuvillette,” you stood from your seat, taking steps towards him as you spoke, “do i make you aroused?”

“i, i believe that is the case,” the blush that covers neuvillette’s face was immediate, eyes widening slightly at your direct question as he swallows unconsciously. his voice is soft as he tries not to be overly conscious of the distance you closed between you two, now just a step away from him with his desk right behind him.

unfortunately for him, you take yet another step forward, forcing the man to take a step back only for the edge of the desk to hit his ass. neuvillette jumped a little in surprise, somehow completely unaware of how quickly you have him cornered against his desk. and maybe you should have felt a little shame in the thrill you got from observing his reactions to you; how his cheeks remained flushed and his eyes darting back and forth from your face to the wall behind you, or how he tries to shy away from you, clearly unsure of how to act in the situation.

now with just inches between your bodies, you lean ever closer to him and rest the palm of your hand on his desk, watching as his eyes follow your hand, before snapping back to your face. neuvillette can feel his blood rushing, taking deep breaths to keep his mind coherent despite how his body is responding to your proximity, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be long before you would discover his disgraceful reaction to you.

but he can’t help; deep inside he already begins to ache, biting the inside of his cheek as he secretly wishes for you to get even closer, take another step. you were already so close and he can smell your light perfume, his breathing getting unsteady as he wonders how far you’ll take this. will you close the distance completely? will you decide to allow him a taste of your pretty lips, allow him some kind of relief from the aching in his body.

your lips tugged into a small smile as you can’t help but let out a quiet chuckle. for all his stoicism, neuvillette can’t seem to hide his desires even a little bit. but it was refreshing to see the vulnerability in his eyes, and the unsteadiness of his breathing when you finally take the last step, trapping him between the table and you. with just the tip of your toes, you lean up and press a kiss to his lips, warm and eager to meet yours.

the kiss was short and sweet, due in part to neuvillette’s inexperience, however it didn’t matter to you. you would have time to slowly teach him, but now there was other, more pressing, matters to deal with.

you could feel it against your belly, the heat emanating from it penetrating through the layers of clothing to your skin. neuvillette felt like his body was on fire, so unused to this feeling of uncontrollable surges of pleasure and how hard his cock was, pressed against you.

his mind was already getting dizzy from your mere presence and the kiss, however, the feeling of your hand gently coming to brush over the bulge through his pants finally snaps him back to reality. the honourable judge suddenly becomes aware of his surroundings again as another wave of redness overcomes his face.

“w-wait, we’re in p-public…” his words are mumbled as your fingers begin to search for the zip on his pants.

“i don’t see anyone else here except us,” you whispered back, dragging the zipper down nice and slow over his cock. his breath stutters, hands fidgeting by his sides as he’s torn between stopping you and letting you do as you pleased.

“there’s people outside… please…” neuvillette’s voice was barely a whisper, shaky and unsure as he feels the heat rising when you finally pulled the zipper all the way down. your fingers tickled over his clothed cock, tapping softly on it as his hips jerked.

“please what? stop? do you want me to stop, neuvillette?” you rest your head up one his shoulder, your words whispered beside his ear and your hands moving to cup his cock, searching for the opening in his boxers. despite the questioning nature of your words, neuvillette knows you’re not asking, with the way your hands moved, he bites down on his bottom lip as you finally touched his aching cock, deft fingers making quick work of releasing it from its confines.

the chief justice has never felt any one way about his desk, just finding it to be a good table he did his work on. but today, the man was grateful for its stable structure, for the strong wood that now supported his body weight as his legs grow weaker with every stroke of your hand. his fingers pressed against the table, teeth gritting as neuvillette tries to swallow down the sounds that threatened to escape. sounds that he never thought he would make, but the high whine from the back of his throat nearly got out, keeling over when your thumb brushed over the head of his cock.

hands that always kept a safe and respectable distance from you clutched at your clothes, and the man can no longer retain any kind of composure. his face pressed against your neck, clinging onto you for support as you so easily worked him over.

meanwhile, you were thrilled; eyes trained on the man in front of you as your hand continues its rhythmic movements. your thumb brushed over his tip with every other stroke, collecting the pearls of precum that he leaked and spreading it over his stiff cock. you watched on with your own breathing beginning to pick up; the normally composed and stoic neuvillette crumbling beneath your touch, and the quiet whimpers that he lets out as his hips trembled did not leave you unaffected.

the tightness in your lower belly only served to push you on, eager to see this man reach his high, shaking with pure bliss because of you. you tightened your fist, increasing your pace and now twisting your wrist with every upward stroke.

this change was immediately felt by neuvillette, a strangled whine sounding from his throat as he gripped your arms. unable keep his voice down now, the man hides his face in your neck, an unending string of whimpers could be heard muffled into your skin as his orgasm quickly builds.

neuvillette has never felt like this in his life; an indescribable pleasure rushing through his body, the heat from your touch that burned him like fire, and yet he can’t get enough of it, craving for it as you push him to the brink. every pump, every stroke, neuvillette feels his mind tearing at the seams, unable to comprehend the way you made him feel, the emotions building in his chest, as well as the tight knot he feels at the base of his cock.

“mgh, w-wait, i think i n-need the bathroom,” neuvillette gasps out, hips and thighs quivering terribly as he feels the somewhat familiar urge to pee. he tries to grab your hand, getting more and more frantic as the build up inside him becomes nearly unbearable and the thought of urinating in your hands was far too much for him. he could never face you again if he did.

but you ignore his cries, pushing his shaky hands away and picked up the pace. hearing his sobs and whimpers only urged you on, “don’t worry and just let go, i want to see you cum.”

and just like that, your words and sultry voice pushed him over, the tight knot snapping as neuvillette’s orgasm overtakes his senses, releasing all over your hand. the strings of white cum squirts out on his own clothes and the floor of his office, the man himself having shut his eyes as he experiences pure, unadulterated pleasure surging through his body. you held him tightly through his high, stroking him to completion until his cock begins to soften in your hand, but neuvillette’s body was still trembling and his muscles felt like jelly after being so tensed for so long.

“i, i apologise, i thought i needed the bathroom,” the man finally speaks again after a period of silence as he regains control of his mind and body. your free hand rubs his back, doing your best to comfort him after a moment of vulnerability.

“i heard the feeling of an orgasm can be quite similar to feeling the need to pee, especially since it’s your first experience.” and neuvillette’s face flushes again, he had never told you this was his first sexual experience, but it must have been obvious enough to you. finally feeling enough strength to move, he reaches for a tissue before gingerly wiping your hand, making sure to clean it thoroughly before moving into his clothes and the floor. although he may have felt a little embarrassed seeing his own mess, he hid it well, not wanting to look shameful in front of you anymore than he already has.

you can’t help but think how adorable the chief justice looks right now, quietly cleaning up after himself with the deep red blush across his cheeks. you reach for his now soft cock, chuckling when you hear a surprised yelp from the man, and tucked it back into his boxers before zipping up his pants.

neuvillette’s feels like his face has a permanent blush, as he looks at you patting his crotch and smiling like you didn’t just give him his first (of many) orgasm. one that was in his office no less, with people who held him in high regard right outside. he is just grateful the thick door blocks out sound, given the absolutely shameful sounds that he let out as you stroked his cock.

even the thought of it now makes him feel embarrassed, and yet at the same time he can’t help how excited it makes him. neuvillette pushes these thoughts out of his mind, focusing instead on as you give his cheek a kiss, smiling endearingly at him. all thoughts of shame or embarrassment now gone from his mind as he gaze softens, his chest filling up with emotion when you wrap your arms around him and bid him goodbye with a promise of meeting again. although, his cheeks then crimson yet again from your last parting words:

“if you still need help understanding human pleasure, i’m happy to teach you anytime.”

#i desire him carnally #look guys i know this is very tame but i promise my thoughts are not #this is just the introduction ok #like take him out to dinner first right #and then take him home and fuck him into the mattress #i want to bend him over and fuck him on his desk tho #urgh #six.writes #genshin impact #neuvilette genshin #neuvillete x reader #neuvilette smut #dom!reader #sub genshin #sub neuvillette #neuvillette

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ultimateyakazoo · 11 months

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#forgot fuyuhikos eyepatch #urgh #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #hajime hinata #mikan tsumiki #god am i tagging all of these #cant be assed sorry #my art #i think ive posted some of these individual panels before #cant remember if ive posted them in order tho

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wortverlust · 5 months

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#i just....i am sorry...#something happened and yeah... >_<#pls everyone #take care (: and have a lovely day/night :3 #TW: spoiler #kinda...not really #urgh #this is just sad #what have i done here?!!?!?!?#fanart #aot fanart #levi fanart #kuchel ackerman

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beebopurr · 18 days

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Beating the FUCK out of whoever decided boobs are sexual I never wore shirts as a kid but now I HAVE TO?? Everything went downhill when I hit puberty I just wanna be a guy hanging out

#rambles #URGH #boob-b-gone when #I'll trade

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hyperfixat · 2 months

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part three wooowooo this is like. half rushed. urgh. i want to get to the good part already but that can’t happen until i establish a world that it can happen in. she is a bit short this time around, uh i don’t have an excuse, bcs this is probably my least fav location/character bunch ☹️ i still like them but its a bit flat whatever just read it if u want

shortest chap. yet… 2.5k> words… [melts] on the bright side this ‘book’ or ‘series of events’ ..whatever has over 10k words now!!

< prev .. next >

** Written

** Written PRE 1.6 – Any mentions of new characters is pure speculation and or headcanons.

“I guess we have to talk to Ms Herta now,” Caelus sighs.

Part of you wonders why Caelus is so intimidated by Herta’s puppets. Maybe he has Pediophobia or something? The other part of you is intimidated at the prospect of meeting the eighty-third member of the Genius Society.

“I’m sure Herta will provide us with valuable insight regarding,” Welt says your name, “situation.”

Dan Heng has his nose buried into his phone screen, the dim light from the screen lights his face up, highlighting the planes as his eyes flicker from side to side as he reads. March slides into the spot next to him and you, grabbing for the half full coffee pot at the table.

“Ugh, how long till the warp jump?” March’s voice is grouchy as she stirs in a pod of creamer to her cute Pompom mug. She sways in her spot a little and her hand pauses for a second before she comes back to herself.

Dan Heng doesn’t look up, “two hours.” March lets out a dramatically anguished moan.

You had spent the night in Himeko’s room, it’s cozy and elegant like a hotel room. It’s the best way you think to describe it; beautifully decorated and clean, yet lived in. She let you share the bed with her and borrow a night shirt – after the day on the Lofou your lack of clothes was quite distressing. You were stinky and smelly from a busy day, and in desperate need of a shower and Himeko was your saving grace.

The ship stopping at Herta’s Space Station is useful regarding your (lack of) clothes, seeing as there should be plenty of regulation uniforms for you to wear until you accumulate a wardrobe of your own. (Luckily Caelus being an androgynous inhuman, somewhat recently synthesized being had a clean pack of proper undergarments for you to have.)

You had taken your retreat from Himeko’s room when she started brewing her (in)famous coffee.

Caelus puts their head in their hands, fingertips grasping at the gray strands loosely.

“Why are you so… scared, intimidated by Herta?” you breach their stupor, making them offer you a weak smile.

“I’m not scared of her per say, but she can be so brash, and I never know if I’m talking to an active puppet,” they sigh, “seriously she has so many puppets all over the station that it’s creepy like one per room. She does not need that many. It’s just that she’s hard to deal with sometimes, all geniuses are I’m told.”

Taking a deep gulp from her mug, March smacks her lips, “with you with us, I’m sure Herta will give us the time of day.” She smiles at you, still sleepy.

You aren’t sure what to make of Herta Space Station when the Astral Express arrives, the tracks are almost deserted save for a few spare workers. March hooks her arm around yours as your group traverses the grand place. There are some nearly deserted hallways that echo your footsteps, where the lights flicker and the only sound is your collective’s walking; just as there are some that are beyond packed, making you shrink into the center of the group, away from all the new sounds, scents, and people.

Sometimes you come across a Herta doll, prompting one of you to walk up and attempt to initiate a conversation with her, before walking off when she doesn’t react, idly staring blankly. It gives you the time to appreciate the craftsmanship Ms Herta put into the puppets. Their eyes are unlike any dolleyes that you saw on Earth, the glassy sheen over them glowing faintly. The joints look sturdy, as in some of the crowded rooms you saw some staff bump into her with decent force, making no movement from the collision.

“I guess we go to the room for the Simulated Universe testing,” Caelus suggests.

“Sounds good,” Welt affirms.

You wonder why you aren’t using any waypoints, maybe it was simply a game mechanic? You did see a Space Anchor when you were getting off the train….

The guards see Caelus approaching and tap on their wristbands simultaneously and the door’s to the testing room open up.

Herta’s eyes track over you and the other passengers, “I take it you’re not here to test the Simulated Universe?”

“No, not right now. Actually we came here because we thought you might be able to provide some insight to our situation right now. Besides, it concerns you as well.”

“Oh, and your strange guest? I take it they’re the center of this situation.” Herta stares straight into your soul with those doll eyes, making you shift behind Welt a little further. “Get on with it, don’t waste my time.”

“Wait!” March jumps in, “we need to gather a few more people!”

Herta sighs and her doll does an almost eye roll. “I’ll be here, or just get whatever doll is closest.” She sounds exasperated.

Asta is the easiest to find, not too far from Herta’s testing room. She’s standing where you usually find her in-game, looking at her phone, texting someone. She looks up when your group approaches her, giving you all an inviting smile.

“Hey there, trailblazers! Anything I can help you with?”

Her hair is really pretty, you note, the braid is tight against her scalp and it looks like she puts a lot of care into maintaining her look. You decide to subtly move away from the back of the group to stand next to Dan Heng and Caelus as they talk to her, explaining that she should follow them for an important meeting.

“Oh, and who’s this? I don’t think we’ve met before. Hi, I’m Asta, lead researcher here at the Herta Space Station.” Asta thrusts her hand forward for you to take, you do, introducing yourself in turn. “It’s lovely to meet you. Will you be a part of this meeting as well?”

“They will.” Dan Heng nods, corralling Asta into your party to head off to search for the next and final person, Arlan. “Do you know where Arlan is right now Ms Asta, he’s the last one that will be joining us.”

“Hm, I think he was talking with Adler, something about a missing Wubbaboo?”

“That kid…,” Caelus mutters under his breath, though it sounds more fond than annoyed, like one would talk about an annoying little sibling.

It takes a while to catch Arlan, you all find him coming out of the elevator on the second layer of the storage zone, close to where you first arrived. You convince him to join you and set off to look for one of Herta’s puppets to talk to.

“Hello? Helloooo?” March 7th waves her hand back and forth in front of the doll’s face and huffs when it doesn't react. Just when she's about to give up the doll jolts and Herta’s voice comes out of the voice box.

“I’m here. I’m here, what is it?”

“Asta, Arlan, you might want to sit down,” Dan Heng suggests kindly. “It might be a bit shocking.”

“Hm?” Asta tilts her head, eyes carefully decoding the emotion on his face, before taking the initiative to lean against the wall.

“Don’t say we didn’t warn you~!” March laughs, before Welt and Himeko bring the proper air of authority to the situation and begin helping you explain that they’re video game characters, you don’t belong here, and may need their help to get back home. At some point Herta’s doll stops its idle motions, but the light behind the eyes shows she’s still there, listening.

Arlan desperately looks at Asta, then you, then Caelus, as if at any moment you’ll all start laughing about how he definitely believed you for a moment. When that moment doesn’t come he takes a place with his back against the wall next to his pink haired superior.

There’s a block of quiet as they all process the bomb you’ve dropped on them, before Herta cuts into it, saying your name. “I’d like to speak with you, in person. Not now, I’ll have Caelus schedule it, but I may be able to offer some… wisdom.”

“Oh, that’s much appreciated, Ms Herta. Thank you,” you nod at her.

“Don’t be thanking me yet,” and at the mildly ominous words she promptly goes offline.

Hm. That’s not exactly reassuring, but it could always have been worse.

With the whole conversation thing done and dusted for everyone on the spaceship, you take a lone walk, breathing in the somewhat stuffy air, searching for any inner wisdom that could come from time alone without distraction.

Your mind doesn’t provide much thought, though being alone with yourself after so many eventful moments – spanning so close together too, gosh – is therapeutic in of itself. Only when it begins to get to the point of eerily quiet in the part of the station you’d wandered into does a small ‘yip’ sound at the end of the hall from whence you came. Spinning on your heel you spot a small, white and awfully cute dog.

Peppy!

You gasp in elation, kneeling where you stand and holding out your hand hoping the dog will come trotting over to greet you, it does, to your excitement, letting out another woof before following through.

“Hello there, little guy,” you coo at the dog, smiling as it yips happily at your soft touch.

Distantly echoing you here what you think is Arlan’s voice echoing down the halls, he sounds far. You lift your gaze away from Peppy as another echoing call arrives.

“Peppy!” you lift your eyebrow at the dog, giving it a skeptical look, almost as if it knows what you’re attempting to portray it averts it’s gaze, eyes flicking to the side.

An out-of-breath Arlan comes speeding down the hall, only stopping upon seeing you and the target he was searching for.

“There you are, Peppy. Lady Asta was looking all over for you,” he scolds the dog gently. “Sorry about this…” Arlan talks to you, bending in front of you to pick up the fluffy dog. His hands almost disappear into Peppy’s coat when he picks the dog up. “I hope Peppy didn’t cause you any grief?”

“They’re a sweet thing,” you laugh, petting the dog in his arms. Arlan smiles at you, verbally expressing his agreement.

Herta Space Station was fun to explore, and by the time your body begins to feel the wear of the day you aren’t far from a Space Anchor… hmm, you wonder if you could utilize it to make the trip back to the express much easier.

You walk up to the geometric floating object and hesitate before placing a hand on the surprisingly cool ring of gold around it. There’s no one around to hear the sound of alarm you let out when your entire vision is taken over by a bird’s eye map of the station. Oh! It’s just like the game, relief fills you at that.

Now, all you need to do is: click on the Pompom waypoint that will take you to the express and… your vision then goes white and you feel your legs fall.

This time someone is around to hear the sound you make as you crash and tumble into the carpet of the Astral Express. That someone being Pompom. Well. At least you managed to teleport.

Speaking of Pompom they were watering some of the plants over by the passenger log, but when you came in they jump, falling to the ground themself, landing on their furry butt with a huff. “HEY! Don’t scare Pompom like that!”

“Sorry, sorry,” you clasp your hands into a steeple; as if praying for forgiveness. “I didn’t know what would happen:” a half truth, as you had your expectations.

They brush their clothes off and you help them to their feet. You yawn then, holding a hand over your mouth.

“Have any of the others returned yet?”

“No. Pompom has been waiting for the first arrival to start making lunch,” the shuffle their paws together in a way that is sure to look dignified and professional, but from your perspective looks adorable. “Speaking of, the first passenger to return sometimes offers to assist the conductor….”

You pick up what they are putting down, as the idiom goes. “I can help in that case!”

You assist Pompom in the train’s kitchen. For a creature like them they’re quite purposeful with their movements, not that you have any reference of how a creature like them would usually move. That is to say they’re good in the kitchen. The rabbit(thing?) wears the cutest little bonnet and gloves to avoid getting fur into the meal, and tasks you with some simple chores to prepare the meal.

Cooking with Pompom is overall a fun and positive experience, and luckily the rest of the crew arrive just in time to eat. You all sit down around the dining cart’s table to discuss the day’s events and your future plans.

“The station is very clean. I like it,” you start the small talk the best you can.

“Indeed, the staff are very diligent,” Dan Heng nods.

There’s the scrape of utensils against plates and March speaks up, “so Jarlio VI tomorrow?”

“That is the plan,” Welt affirms. “Unless,” his eyes glint under the overhead lighting as they meet yours, “there have been any last minute change of plans.”

“Nope, we should be set.” You nod, feeling warm under the older man’s gaze.

“Well then, that settles it, Jarlio VI is tomorrow’s destination. All this adventuring isn’t meant for someone my age…” his last sentence is quieter and followed by a heavy sigh.

Himeko covers up a giggle with a bite of food, and March looks at you with mirth in her eyes.

“Jarilo-VI, here we come!” She finally laughs, lifting her glass in a mimicry of a toast. The rest of the table joins in, lifting their cups as well.

Jarilo-VI, here we come.

tags (comment or leave an ask to join) : @leafanonsforest @c00kie-cat @andromeda-gay

#verified hyperfixat post #sahsrau #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #isekai #honkai star rail isekai #hsr isekai #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail fanfiction #herta space station #urgh #i hate having to tag posts bro #hsr #honkai star rail

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gomzdrawfr · 2 months

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for all my homies who also need to study for their exams

he takes a nap as i study and pinch me if i got distracted lol

#my finals starts tomorrow until next friday #and then i'll have to look for job to work for one month #urgh #i might do commission before work though so ye #gummmyart #doodle #simon ghost riley #self insert

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mystickingstuff · 4 months

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You guys know how Minos was a son of Zeus and that was pretty much the reason for him to become a judge of souls in the underworld. Wouldn't it be crazy if Hades repeated this with another son of his brother, one that his own kid had as a best friend. That way, when Nico went down to spend some time with his dad, he could go around and oops hey bestie.

Who could be better judge than Jason Grace, son of Jupiter and Hero of Olympus, praetor of Rome, all those titles and shit.

All I'm saying is that it would be nice if at the end of tsats we had jasico crumbles.

#the sun and the star #riordanverse #jasico #jason grace #nico di angelo #percy jackon and the olympians #yeah I'm talking about jason again #i just hate his death so much and how he'll never show up again #urgh

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valyrfia · 4 days

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“Scuderia Ferrari HP” you spit on the grave of signor Enzo himself.

#scuderia ferrari #scuderia ferrari hp #urgh #formula 1

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on-a-lucky-tide · 5 months

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Bi dudes Eskel and Lambert dating each other as their first all male relationship and grappling with internalised toxic masculinity as they both fall into the same expectations placed on them when dating cishet women, and getting Hella Flustered when the other does The Stuff They're Meant To Be Doing, like take out the rubbish, fix shit, pay for the whole meal. The tender stuff they do for each other is something they've never experienced.

Eskel breaks down into choked sobs when he gets home from work and Lambert has a hot bath and a cold beer waiting for him, and Lambert isn't sure how to deal with being the cuddlee not the cuddler, he tenses up like an angry weasel at first. And what do you mean those chocolate truffles are for him?! Disgusting. Outrageous. He doesn't want to throw out the empty box because no one has ever--

Both booking a super secret date night for valentine's day and going all out because they're so used to the weight of expectations, and then realising all they want to do is eat Nandos and watch Rugby, so they blow the whole thing off and do just that.

#heteronormative culture is so #urgh #having feelings about how men are expected to not need tenderness #or romance #and they go through relationships with expectations that are never interrogated

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triple-pupil · 6 months

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@tietoons

Not exactly what you mentioned in a comment but animating him running around would be a nightmare.

#tietoons #cuphead #king dice #cuphead devil #devildice #animation #my shit #I hate how my motivation works #I did this one in like an hour or around there #And I have WIPs sitting there for months #urgh #Anyways- I really loked doing this one so

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ineedtorantaboutjiangcheng · 1 year

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Fuck, I'm here again. Goddammit. I've been doing well. I've been keeping Jiang Cheng off my mind (and my computer screen). Things have been peaceful.

And then today happened.

Again, a fic. Again, not naming names, both because that's rude and also because this issue is hardly specific to one fic alone. I've seen it many times.

But I've been pacing for half an hour, too agitated to keep reading, so I'm just gonna get this off my chest, and then skim through the fic 'til it stops talking about it.

I need to talk about the golden core reveal.

Specifically, I need to talk about an attitude I've seen cropping up recently in a lot of fics. (By recently, I don't mean it's only recent fics that do it, just that I've only noticed it recently.)

So it'll be a fic, usually canon divergent, but prior to the golden core reveal. Wen Ning or Wen Qing will often be involved (though I can think of a few times it was Lan Wangji). And the character, who knows the truth about the golden core transfer, will urge Wei Wuxian to tell Jiang Cheng.

They'll say "you have to tell him". They'll say "he'll find out eventually". They'll say "he deserves to know".

And... the fic will support this.

Will frame Wei Wuxian as irrational, paranoid even, to keep it secret.

Will sometimes even punish him, narratively, for his "failure" to disclose such a thing.

And I am... completely baffled.

Where the fuck is this coming from?

I suppose, if I'm being generous, I can kind of see why an individual sympathising with Jiang Cheng might have a knee-jerk reaction to this. If you see them as being essentially family, the idea that a family member that you love deeply, keeping what amounts to both a huge sacrifice and a massive disability from you would be extremely painful. You might feel hurt, that they didn't tell you. Angry, at the implied lack of trust.

I get it, as an emotional response you might have in the moment. I don't find it particularly relatable, but I can follow the thought process.

But like... that's an emotional response. Surely, at some point, logic has to kick in, right?

Because the thing is. Okay, there's two aspects to the secret, right? One, is that a medical procedure was done to Jiang Cheng, sort of like an organ transplant, I suppose, but he wasn't told that the organ was donated by Wei Wuxian. And the other is that Wei Wuxian made this huge sacrifice for Jiang Cheng, and didn't tell him.

But thinking about this for even five minutes should tell you that... neither of those things are actually Wei Wuxian's responsibility to deal with?

The first one is the by far the more common argument I've seen. I've read fics where Wen Ning and Wen Qing are tortured with guilt over having performed the procedure without telling Jiang Cheng all the details. I've even seen people have them blame Wei Wuxian, for demanding they keep it secret, had them secretly resent him for it. He's portrayed as deeply selfish, for keeping the truth of Jiang Cheng's operation from him.

But the thing is... if you're going to apply modern medical ethics to the situation... Wei Wuxian was in the right? They all were?

Under modern medical ethics, you have no right to know the identity of your organ donor. That can feel a little weird (it's probably why people often have a knee-jerk reaction that demands the opposite); after all, it's my body, shouldn't I have a right to know where the organ that goes in it comes from? What if it has cooties?

But according to medical ethics, the donor's right to medical privacy is more protected that the recipient's right to that information. Right to medical privacy is pretty highly valued; it kind of ties into body autonomy, which is kind of the keystone of... most modern ethics. You have a right to control what happens to your body, and that includes controlling whether or not people know about any medical conditions/procedures. So you might have an emotional response, thinking Jiang Cheng is valid for being upset that his golden core came from Wei Wuxian without him knowing, but... ethically, Wei Wuxian has the right to withhold that information.

But! some scarecrow says, If a person has the right to control what procedures happen to their body, surely that means Jiang Cheng has a right to control what happens to his own body! Therefore, the procedure was still unethical, because he didn't know everything!

And I say, well... not really. The reality is, we don't actually know how much Jiang Cheng was told. He was told to walk up a mountain, lie to the person he encountered about his identity, and ask for a golden core. And he left that mountain with said golden core... but we don't know how much Wen Qing told him when he reached the top. We know he believed Wen Qing was the Baoshan Sanren. We know he received a fully developed core, not just the ability to form a new one. Was he told that the core was from someone else? Were there signs of the transfer? Did he know the chance of success/failure? Did he not find any of the situation dubious?

(Did he really spend two and a half years fighting a war alongside, and then running a sect for a year with, someone and not realise they didn't use orthodox cultivation even once?)

The truth is, a doctor is required to inform a patient of risks, and answer any questions they ask. Wen Qing may well have disclosed the risk (if there was any to Jiang Cheng, other than potentially the transfer failing) prior to the surgery, we just don't know. We don't have any evidence that Jiang Cheng asked any questions, and from what we see in the novel, it seems likely that he simply didn't want to know. He got a core, his life was somewhat back on track; we never see any evidence of curiosity or confusion in him as to the specifics of how that happened.

The only lie we are sure that he was told was the identity of the person who he met on the mountain, who "gave" him the core. I could be petty and point out that as he was also lying about his identity, it kind of cancels out, but that would be a bit ridiculous, and unnecessary besides. The truth is, ethically, Wen Qing could have knocked him out and performed the surgery from the comfort of her own office. Because one of, if not the main reason you can ethically violate someone's body autonomy... is to save a life. And Jiang Cheng, after losing first his family and sect, and then his golden core, displayed clear suicidal ideation. He indicated, repeatedly, that he wanted to die. He refused food. Wei Wuxian even doubled checked, before giving him hope of getting a new core, that he was serious! (Rereading that scene is horrible; Wei Wuxian's dread, and eventual resignation/resolve becomes very apparent once you know what's happening).

The characters around him, including a trained doctor, believed that if he didn't get a new core, he would give up and die. Under those circumstances, a doctor has authority to make medical decisions, without a patients consent, if they believe it is a medical emergency. Wen Qing was an unquestionably brilliant doctor; if she believed doing the surgery was the right/necessary decision, who the hell are we to dispute her?

So, to be clear, under modern medical ethics (which seems to be what is being applied in these claims), Wen Qing has the right to do whatever surgery she feels necessary to save the life of her patient, no consent needed, and Wei Wuxian has the right to keep his identity as the donor a secret, since that's his own private medical history. Modern medical ethics (a bit ridiculous, when talking about magic powers, but I've seen the argument) supports our protagonist.

Now, onto the other thing. This is a lot less... ethics discussion and a lot more feels-bad-so-wrong type thing. Wei Wuxian kept the loss of his golden core a secret.

Jiang Cheng being upset by this is understandable. Like I said, I can follow the emotion/logic. Someone keeping a big secret from you can be hurtful.

But just because it's hurtful to you, doesn't mean they're in the wrong to do it!

If someone I cared about kept a massive secret from me, and I found out, I'd be upset! But my first thought would be 'Why did they feel they couldn't tell me?' And the answer here is obvious; Wei Wuxian didn't think he could tell Jiang Cheng because he knew he'd be horrible about it! Wei Wuxian admits, after the reveal, that the process of losing his core was distressing, and that he wasn't as okay with it as he pretended to be. If something like that happens to you (not... that it can, but, you know, equivalent), and you're struggling to hold it together, the last thing you want is someone you care about yelling at you about it, insulting you, making you feel bad for what happened!

Wei Wuxian didn't tell Jiang Cheng because he knew Jiang Cheng would be awful to him because of it. Jiang Cheng's jealousy when they were young was something Wei Wuxian felt he had to manage*, and he knew Jiang Cheng would feel inadequate if he realised his accomplishments were made with Wei Wuxian's core. And he would then lash out at Wei Wuxian for it, at a time when Wei Wuxian was already feeling emotionally fragile. Hell, nearly twenty years later, Jiang Cheng getting up in his face was enough to cause a Qi deviation; I can't imagine it would have been better any sooner!

No one wants to think of the people they love keeping secrets from them. And sometimes, people who keep secrets are doing it for their own sake, because they're scared, or unsure, or guilty, or whatever. But sometimes, when a person keeps a secret, the reason is not internal. If someone acts horribly to you when you tell them things, you're going to stop telling them things. And the person responsible for that gap in communication is them; all you're doing is protecting yourself.

And before anyone thinks that I'm assigning reasoning to Wei Wuxian that he doesn't have; he essentially admits it. After the reveal, Wei Wuxian states that he knew Jiang Cheng would react badly (though he didn't expect it to be quite so bad). Wei Wuxian is shown to have been managing Jiang Cheng's moods since they were young**, it's probably not the first secret he's kept. But that's kind of just... how that works; if a king kills every person who brings him bad news, eventually, all his advisors will only ever bring him good news. And he has no one to blame when his kingdom falls but himself.

SO. tl;dr. Modern medical ethics supports Wen Qing performing the golden core transfer, and Wei Wuxian keeping his identity as the donor a secret. Jiang Cheng can be upset at Wei Wuxian for not telling him that he no longer has a core, but it's not unethical, or selfish, and the nature of their relationship, with Jiang Cheng lashing out with impunity and Wei Wuxian trying to manage his moods, meant that secrets like that were pretty much inevitable. Unhealthy relationships are unhealthy. Truly, newsworthy take.

And one final note, on Wei Wuxian keeping secrets from Jiang Cheng and being portrayed as selfish for doing so; I have yet to see a. single. fic. that says Wei Wuxian keeping his sacrifice secret is wrong, but then goes on hold Jiang Cheng equally accountable for keeping his sacrifice secret. Not. One. Jiang Cheng often tells Wei Wuxian afterwards, that he deliberately got the Wens attention, but he's never framed as selfish for keeping that secret. Not. Once.

* see post-Xuanwu argument, when Wei Wuxian drags himself out of his sick bed, having just woken up from a coma, to reassure Jiang Cheng that he's no threat to his birthright. Because Jiang Cheng was jealous that his father acknowledged Wei Wuxian's skill in surviving, under horrendous circumstances. -_-

** childhood flashback; after arriving in a new place, having a massive change in lifestyle and meeting many new people (and, it seems, trying to make a good impression), Wei Wuxian took the blame for his broken leg, despite it being because Jiang Cheng locked him out of his room and threatened to sic dogs on him. Entirely because he knew one of them would get blamed, and he wanted to keep Jiang Cheng happy. People who grow up with aggressive/abusive family/people around often end up learning to juggle mood changes.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #canon jiang cheng #urgh #i didn't mean for this to be so long #or so lecture-y #look i just feel very strongly about body autonomy #and the ethics around privacy #so i get really really angry when people act like wwx was in the wrong here #you have a right to medical privacy!#its IMPORTANT #(but also sorry)

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