#That Which Once had Never Been

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all #Being dry and cryptic to me #And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship #I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since #And my palette is so cleansed #When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist #There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but #I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out #I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually #Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like #Yeah I’m dropping this for now #I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk #Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill #The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all #I fr cracked it #I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway #But they’re so not worth it #Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun #Not for me #I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me #And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious #Which is why it never works #Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different #So lame #Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

#critical role #cr spoilers #bells hells #orym of the air ashari #cr meta #imogen temult #ashton greymoore #liliana temult #this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym #but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas #I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk #is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations) #all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset #it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’ #which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about #he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively #which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world #also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON #who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it #ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian #who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes #and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over #it is dishonest to say they haven't #the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish #he says as much! #EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME. #posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl

[hylialeia]

you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth. #but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once. #that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support) #failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway! #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

[randomminty]

Yeahlow

#art tag #pokemon #pokespe yellow #pokespe #pokemon special #i wish i had the first ever drawing i did of yellow i think thatd be a fun comparison #i think i do sctually….. shes been w me through so much #when i was 9 i would draw eyelashes onto yellow after the ponytail reveal in gsc but now youll NEVER see me drawing her w eyelashes #i also like pause before i decide what pronouns i should use for her #so i think thats some sort of character development for me #once i bought the last gsc volume onto my school bus and showed it to a friend of mine and she like #pointed to green oak and went why does the boy have eyelashes 😐 #n i was like i dont CARE i need to tell you why red x yellow is canon #more character development from me i dont really ship them anymore. same w blue and green. as a pokespe fan ive changed so much #i need to reread dpp i miss the trio so muuuhc…….. i iwhs they couldve returned int he manga and get why not but. i miss the #is swsh nearly over im not up to date at all. i know the dlcs happening but thats it #i wanna see what the scvi protags will be like. and which ones scarlet and which ones violet #and how they handle to version diffs ooo….. two schools? double dead argen parents? #ARVEN sorry. but yea. exciting #WHAT school will each rival be in what about clavel and the teachers ??!!???!??!!?!??!? anyway #thats enougb rambling for one post. goot bye

[filmnoirsbian]

The thing w the silly "no one does anything on this site" poll post that makes it so funny is that people TALK on here like they do things and then just...don't. And it's fine to not do things! But when someone who has never had sex talks about being a slut or someone who does not interact with their local lgbt community in real life calls themselves a "queer elder" it's just funny to me idk. Not just the "no one does anything" site but the role playing site. But instead of pretending to be a kickass centaur you're pretending to have an offline social life.

#tcp #making this unrebloggable bc the role players would get too upset even though once again: it's fine if u don't want to do these things #I'm never going to advocate doing drugs or drinking as a hobby lol it can fuck your life up not to sound lame but like as someone who's #actually been there done that. it can. and doing those things doesn't automatically give you a personality. BUT #it is weird to me how often people on here will talk abt being slutty but they don't like casual sex. or try to speak on lgbt community #issues but don't partake in the actual community (which does in fact mandate offline community action). and it's like ok so if u want #to do those things...go do them. yk? maybe it's just bc i didn't start being very online until i was already an adult and had done #these things but i simply don't get it

[lucalicatteart]

A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

#sculpture #fantasy art #fantasy creature #art #elf #lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas.. #I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal #stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing #over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less. #negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you #do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things #up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put #them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY #I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin #of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol.. #Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned #eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL #but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah #Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik #25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li #like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c

[daily-ethoslab]

[461] rewatching terrafirmacraft and nothing will ever be funnier then what happened to nuggets #1

#etho #ethoslab #ethos terrafirmacraft #etho fanart #ethoslab fanart #day 461 #man I've been feeling a little dissatisfied with my own art #i kinda like this one tho #this one is fun #i tried using foliage brushes for once #i always avoided them cause I had this weird thing where everything I drew I had to draw myself #which is stupid #i should just let myself do them #idk #I'm still figuring out what I want my art to look like #i like how people add texture and like grunge?? to hair art but I can never make it look right #i try to add noise and stuff but like idk it's not the same effect

[p4nishers]

random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.

#neither does crowley. he should've been cast out the second he put that mask on cause he'd never be able to do what they wanted him to but #aziraphale would never ever say a word about this and crowley didn't even have to ask him. crowley remembers how just for a few moments #aziraphale let himself brush crowley's hair out of his eyes tenderly and yearns for smth he will never have #ugh the longing the yearning. 's too much #this came to me at like 2:33 am as i was tryna fall asleep with my little azicrow fantasies and i had this idea for a painting of this scen #and i sketched it in my notes app then was like fuck it and went to sketch it on paper and now here we are #idk if this is coherent and idk if i care #also this was kinda inspired 'and in the waking world we wait and we want' which is a dreamling fic BUT hob was a plague doctor for a while #there and anyway i think about that fic once a day so i randomly steal ideas from that like bro the historical knowledge that fic has??? #INSANE. the history nerd in me goes crazy every time i reread it it's so so so good #anyway i went off track there ill leave whatever this is here #good omens #good omens headcanons #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #azicrow #also i dont claim im a writer in any way shape or form im just slightly insane so ignore how awkward this is

[seveneyesoup]

ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race

#which id managed to sort of convince myself was maybe #it’s been like 15 years he’s had time to learn better #but the comment Immediately about ‘different colors’ in todays ep #and w the toymakers past. #i’m hoping for the best i really actively am but i’m hesitant #not even writing about race just writing that has anything to do w it #i will never forgive him for martha jones #and my cynicism is saying bringing dt back for three eps and specifically being pretty good about trans people and disabled people #is a good favor investment so he can keep a progressive image and get away w racism #i don’t actually believe that for the record #i’m just worried ncuti gatwa is gonna have to deal with Some Bullshit that’s gonna get blamed on him instead of rtd yk #which is bad for him bc it means a bad working environment and also like. taking the blame for something he didn’t even do #or that if he pushes back on something bad he’ll get branded as difficult to work with etc #anyway. worry once suffer twice or whatever and i think i said all this when the announcements were made #it’s just on my mind again #i want the best for the show and the people making it yk?

[unhelpfulfemme]

I just realized that Ekaterin Vorkosigansaga's maiden name is Vorvayne because the structure and nature of her and Miles's romance are heavily inspired by Sayers's Wimsey novels, in which the romantic heroine is called Harriet Vane.

#I've never read the wimsey novels even though I have been vaguely aware of their existence since before I went through puberty #for some reason I spent a long time thinking that Lord Peter Wimsey was a wizard detective lol #but in these months I've been hyperaware of them because I keep making all these Bujold vs. Dunnett comparisons in my head #on so many topics very relevant to my heart #and I once had a theory that Bujold was inspired by Dunnett but I kept thinking that #this can't be true #because if it's true then Bujold misconstrued or ignored a lot of what Dorothy was saying in pretty in-your-face ways #and then I realized nah #they were both inspired by Sayers #they had the same parting point and each seems to have taken the elements they liked and made them her own #and each developed and elaborated on those elements while introducing other unique elements of her own from other sources #which makes a lot more sense and makes for a fascinating comparative reading project :3 #vorkosigan saga #lord peter wimsey

[fighting-these-demons]

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

--------------------------------------

Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

--------------------------------------

Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

#Domon Kasshu/Chibodee Crocket #Royal Flush #Chibodee Crocket/Domon Kasshu #Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU #mobile fighter g gundam #I imagine he hasn't had time for a Big Gay Crisis yet but the time is absolutely now #Kyoji absolutely helps him through this crisis because he had a normal environment and university to figure his own shit out. #Kyoji has to figure out WHY Domon is imploding and explosive and avoiding everyone a second time though. #This doesn't seem related to the Divorce but it doesn't seem immediately obvious either. 🤔 #Cue Schwarz FINALLY getting a fucking break and immediately coming to stay with Rain and Kyoji at their place. #Domon was aware that they had been living together in Neo Japan briefly before Schwarz was called back to Neo Germany for questioning #Once his rank was stripped of him he was back with Kyoji for a short period before the Divorce as part of Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu's study of #DG Cells. Once they had a breakthrough - Schwarz was sent abroad with a small military group and Doctors Without Borders group to assist #With immediate infection cases on behalf of Neo Japan as part of reparations. So Domon hadn't seen him in quite some time. #Domon certainly wasn't expecting to see him in the garden when he rounded the corner of the Mikamura residence #Leaned over Kyoji who appears to have been working outside on his laptop. Fingers intertwined a hand on Kyojis jaw and locked in a kiss. #Which ends pretty much instantly as they sense Domon and break apart. It occurs to Kyoji and Schwarz that Kyoji never #Got the chance to actually tell Domon much about himself and the man he'd grown into while Domon was training in Hong Kong with Master Asia #This might be a pretty significant shock to him. #I can't decide between Domon running from his Gay Revelation or IMMEDIATELY Losing His Shit at the thought of Rain's SECOND marriage ending #And knowing for sure now the reason why his and Rain's marriage didn't work out. He really does prefer men. #Bu HOW DARE Kyoji do this to her!!! She's been through enough!!!! This will HURT her SO BADLY!!! (Projection of guiiillllttt) #Back to square 1 fir a moment like damn #And once he starts fighting Kyoji about it (Thank God the ressurection gave them the option to make Kyojis new build similar to Schwarz's) #It comes out that Rain cant go through this AGAIN and he won't let him do this to her! Her honor means something to Domon #And it should mean something to Kyoji too as HER HUSBAND #Kyoji and Schwarz catch on the Again bit and Kyoji makes it clear that Rain has known about his situation with Schwarz since they returned #That they're quite literally inseparable and that Rain married him knowing this. She's fully aware and an active participant. #Domon takes a leg sweep and doesn't quite make his recovery as Schwarz steps in #Pinning his arms and one leg in place so he can't run from Kyojis question. Kyoji grabs Domon's hair to turn his head and asks

[dirtytransmasc]

Alicent after her husband damns her children, the ones he forced onto her, the ones she carried and birthed and loved and spent her whole life protecting. after he leaves her, dying a pathetic death, leaving her and her children alone in the world, even more than he had before. after her children are robbed from her, meeting fates promised to them at birth, ones she tried so hard to change. after being left to roam an empty keep, the sounds of her children's antics now long gone. after hearing her own cries echo in the septs, but never reaching the gods, rattling the walls of her chambers, yet falling on deaf ears. Alicent after she decides she will be king, in her eldest's stead, she will weild her own sword in place of her most trusted friend and closest son, she will fill the world with her words like her daughter had, she will take revenge as she sees fit as her youngest had:

#she is just so King #I want scene (that we will never get in any universe) of Alicent mad. almost feral with grief. roaming the Keep in a ghostlike haze. her- #tattered. hair down and frazzled. eyes wet but cold and unseeing. her skinned mottled red by her tears. dragging around her dead son's- #bloodied sword. his crown hanging from her head. weighing it down. almost crushing her under its weight. her cries sounding like a- #wounded animal or a spirit from old tales passed around by children and the superstitious. #in this scenario she would be the only survivor of either side #no one dares to remove her. she wields her blade with her agony. of which she has plenty. its not worth the blood spill. #she's too deep in her grief to notice that life has moved on without her #she will continue on her haunting without threat if left to herself #so even once someone's claimed the throne. she still feels herself a mere stand in for her son. like she had been her husband. she was king #everything else had been stripped of her. but she was still this. #| #on another note #finding paintings of ladies with a sword that fit alicents vibe was actually impossible #very frustrating #hotd #house of the dragon #alicent hightower #pro team green #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #criston cole

[synthwayve]

Thinks about Micolash and Laurence’s rivalry that never strays from the confines of academic snark or the occasional jab despite their shared ambition(and possibly also just accompanying a general friendship they could have had since they worked together at some point. Idk I’m a softie. Sue me.) eventually involving into a full on intellectual divorce. Cries. Explodes. 72 casualties.

#will delete #I am just having thoughts #like yeah listen I love the toxic aspects of their dynamic especially peak healing church #and I’m honestly shocked most people put Micolash in the seat of power there #if anything I think he’d be underhanded with having dirt on Laurence’s operation or his reputation #but yknow. headcanons vary #consider: they could have been soft once. they could have been #and they could have stopped each other’s descent into their respective cosmic obsession(blood and insight) #but neither can actually let the other have his way. if Micolash abandons his research and just does whatever Laurence commands him to #he’ll never be able to pursue his own interest(which could even stave off the scourge). it’d be Byrgenwerth all over #but if Laurence lets Micolash go and just do whatever his silly heart desires #not only will he legit go insane but itd happen at the worst of times. he needs to priortize the blood while they still have time #so they both just. stalemate each other to death #yadda yadda insufferable academics believing only their method must be correct to the detriment of the other #not in a ‘I personally hate you’ way but in a ‘why won’t you just listen to me’ way #I just think there’s fun to be had there. they’re both horrible. #also idk this is being prompted by Laurence being typecast into being completely helpless at the height of his power. against MICOLASH??? #let’s let him be a little evil too come on now #but idk. maybe my take is wack

[alicepao13]

The disrespect this show gets on a daily basis, from the production to the network(s) to even the pirates who prefer to rip shows like *checks notes* Big Brother Canada (same group)...

I wouldn't be calling them out if I hadn't done this myself, by the way. People who have never ripped a damn thing can stay in their lane. I have earned my stripes, I'm not someone who wants to talk shit about those who do this, and I understand the process involved. The webrips are a different story, as they are uploaded by Amazon whenever. The HDTV rips should be uploaded on time, shortly after the network airs the show, and it's the same process as it always has been to rip them. Uploading HDTV rips after the webrips has no value whatsoever, unless someone cares that much about the promo, which of course CityTV doesn't care enough to upload themselves, proving once again what a shitty network they are.

Hudson and Rex has an international fanbase, it shouldn't be so difficult to be able to watch it as an international fan in 2024.

#hudson and rex #this is now a whining blog #but what else can it be when nothing about this show is working as intended #I've been torrenting since 2005 #I've never had the misfortune of having to wait as long as I wait for this show through all these years #last season it took them three days to upload the season five premiere hdtv rip #the rip times are unbelievably inconsistent and they have been that way since this saw first caught my eye (season two) #the fact that there is a single group that does the hdtv rips means that if for whatever reason they can't upload it then we don't have it #the webrips are actually being ripped by one of the best groups out there so I can't complain #it's just that the streaming upload by amazon happens whenever they feel like it #once again I'm drawing similarities between canadian and greek programming which is so not in their favor #(I actually thought that by the time I'd finished writing this we'd have something but nope) #(ps I just saw a rip announce of family feud canada and I just... does someone actually hate hudson and rex?) #(pps do not respond to this if you live in a country where your government is actively combating piracy)

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level #for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda #changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is #don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men #his transness wouldnt change that #only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically. #Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band #is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name; #over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had #he becomes more caring more supportive #it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind #and learns how to be a kinder man. #all of which have no contradictions with him being trans! #In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences #i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways #to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring. #Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL. #at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it #so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine #i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt #but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues #and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does #again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol #AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans #do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model #I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA

[spielzeugkaiser]

why didn’t lovechild!au geralt ever go looking for jaskier?

That is a good question! I think there are various things at play.

First there is Ciri – which he did take in shortly after they separated. Since I took wild hunt Ciri for this story (when they meet later) this does change her age quite drastically. It deages her quite a bit (if Milek is around 14 and she is ~24) that means Geralt took her in when she was nine. And I think that does change things. His focus was on her.

Then there is Yennefer – I think she wanted to encourage him to look out for Jaskier, but she is also majorly pissed at him. I feel like their dynamic changes a lot because she is aware of Milek. (It’s way cooler, for a start.) It’s not her intention but... Geralt feels even worse because of that? She makes him feel like he did something unforgiveable. Which makes avoidance a bigger topic on his side. And after a while… I dunno. When Yen and Geralt had that talk on the dragon hunt, that this life they lead doesn’t fit and work with a baby – Geralt was not wrong. And I feel like, with time, and what Ciri goes through too, Yen comes to realize that it might be better if he doesn’t know (for now). So maybe she doesn’t outright discourage him to look out for Jaskier, but… She certainly is not encouraging that idea. (it’s messy.)

There is part of Geralt that feels like. Jaskier will come back when he feels ready (he always did) and if he goes out to find him, he isn’t welcome. It doesn’t help that Jaskier is suddenly very hard to find. Geralt wants to respect his wish to not be found.

(little does he know).

And then there is also A LOT of plot happening.

#he can't be blamed for the time when he had amnesia #he can't also be blamed for the time he was dead MHH- #a relevant plot point appears? maybe? 👀 #also I have to say it: I want Jaskier to meet Regis so bad #hMMMMM #listen I think Geralt is sad (and poutes a little bit) and is just! an awkward guy sometimes when it comes to emotions! #but the biggest thing is Geralt '0% self worth' of Rivia #this man needs some sign that he is wanted or he will never impose #and the timeframe in which he WOULD have easily gone off to apologize is somehow gone #it's been too long #he still wants too #Geralt is 100% still beating himself up about that #once again #little does he know #that feeling is gonna get so much worse