#THE KIND OF CARING THAT MAKES YOU A LITTLE INSANE!!!!

[iamthecomet]

𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘺 𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦: 𝘈𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘴

Rating: G Pairing: Mountain, Dew and Soot. Words: 1.1k

Featuring the return of Soot from The Day Dissolved.

Mushy May brought to you by @forlorn-crows Divider by @ghuleh-recs

Also available on AO3

Mountain doesn’t usually have trouble befriending the Abbey strays. He’s got a cadre of crows and ravens who bring him trinkets. A raccoon who thinks he’s a pet. Squirrels and chipmunks who are always happy to come up and take nuts right from Mountain’s outstretched fingers. 

So one little cat shouldn’t be a problem, but she is. 

Mountain’s tried everything. Three different kinds of cat food. Tuna. Raw meat. She eats all of it–but won’t come anywhere near it if he’s within earshot. He catches her little black shadow darting around the grounds. In his greenhouse even, keeping to the shadows. Mostly he sees her in the abbey graveyard. 

A fitting place for a black cat. 

She’s tiny. Mountain isn’t sure if she’s still a kitten, or just small. She’s fluffy, black, with big green eyes that stare at him from the underbrush as he walks closer. She never hisses, never swats. But she also shows no interest in him. They’ve had several stand offs in the oldest section of the graveyard. Mountain holding raw chicken between his outstretched fingers and this little cat turning her nose up at it and scurrying away. 

He isn’t sure why it matters. At first he tells himself it’s because he wants to make sure she’s safe and healthy. That he feels a duty to protect the living things in the abbey grounds. And also–he doesn’t love the idea of a stray cat around. Bad for the birds–and he knows how upset Cirrus gets when the cats go after them.

He’s followed her all the way to the crypt today. Trying to stay far enough back that he doesn’t scare her off. She knows he’s there–she’s a cat. But she doesn’t seem to care as long as he doesn’t get too close. He’s got more treats in his pockets. 

She stops at he steps to the crypt that holds all the past papa’s. She turns and looks at him, head tilting. He crouches down, reaches into is pocket and pulls out a chunk of salmon. God, Aether would kill him if he knew he was stealing meat to try to entice a cat. 

“Come on little one, I promise it’s better inside. All the salmon you could ever want, a warm bed. I’ll pet you as much as you want.” 

This is ridiculous he realizes as he talks to her. Bribing her. It isn’t because he just wants to keep her safe, or because he doesn’t want her out here hunting Cirrus’ birds. It’s also because it’s a challenge he can’t seem to win. Every other animal comes to him without any effort. What is wrong with this cat? The more she turns her nose up at him the more he wants to impress her. He wants to gain her favor, and when he thinks about it like that he feels more than a little insane. 

The little cat sniffs the air–takes a couple steps closer to him. Hope swells in his chest. He extends his hand even more, reaching for her. 

“That’s it, little one. Just a little closer.” 

The smell of cigarette smoke hits him. The little cat keeps coming closer and then walks past him, giving him just wide enough berth to avoid rubbing against his leg. Mountain startles, stands, turning as he does.

The little cat is winding between Dew’s legs. Nuzzling against his well worn boots. A warm purr reaching Mountain’s ears. The little cat looks up at Dew like he is everything and Mountain feels something sour in his stomach. 

“You?” 

Dew takes a drag off of his cigarette, he’s trying not to laugh–Mountain can tell. It doesn’t help. 

“I told her not to tell you.” Dew says, like this is all somehow the cats fault. “I knew you’d be like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“Jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous I’m just…you?” 

“Rude,” Dew stubs his cigarette out on the bottom of his boot then bends down to pet the cat. She nuzzles into his hand. When he scoops her up, Mountain feels something akin to shock. Dew? Really? 

The little cat headbuts him, pressing her face right into Dew’s until he’s sputtering on cat hair. Mountain stares, watching her lick at Dew’s nose. Dew scrunches his face up. 

“Ok, Soot, you made your point. Enough.” 

“Soot?” 

“Yeah, because she looks like she rolled around in a fire place.” 

Mountain can’t stop staring. Can’t stop feeling the heat of betrayal in his chest. It’s all so stupid. He shouldn’t care–doesn’t really. Is glad this little cat has someone. But he knows he’s lost. It will never be him. 

“You can probably pet her now.” Dew nods to the little black fluff ball in his arms. 

Mountain gets closer, he offers his fingers too Soot. She untucks herself from Dew’s shoulder and sniffs at his fingers, little pink tongue darting out to lick the salmon juice from them. When he offers her the fish, she chops down on the chunk greedily. Purring happily as Mountain scratches her between the ears. 

“She’s a little brat,” Dew says, but the fondness in his voice makes Mountain’s chest feel warm, not jealousy this time. Dew really loves this little cat–even though he’d probably say otherwise. Maybe it’s ok that Dew has this–Mountain doesn’t need Soot. But Dew definitely does. 

“How’d you get her to come up to you?” 

“I didn’t. She just started hanging out with me when I came to the crypts to…you know…visit. And I knew you were trying to catch her so I just…I felt bad you know? This is your thing.” 

Mountain shrugs. He pulls his hand away and Soot tucks her face back against Dew’s. Cheek to cheek. 

“It’s fine. It’s a good match. You're both picky brats. You can bring her inside you know. Papa doesn’t care.”

Dew laughs. “I know…I’m not sure either of us are ready for that kind of commitment yet.” 

“Typical.” Mountain says, stepping around Dew and heading back toward the greenhouse, intent on leaving Dew, and Soot, to their crypt visit. “Just…don’t do it again ok?” 

“What befriend an animal?” Dew rolls his eyes. “Not like I can control which animals like me better!” 

Mountain shakes his head. “Just…stay away from my ravens.”

“Oh, is now a bad time to tell you that one of them brought me money the other day? Do they do that to you?” 

Mountain groans, not dignifying that with a real response. His whole walk back to the greenhouse is filled with the sound of Dew’s distant laughter.

#Comet Writes #Ficlet #Mushy May 2024 #Mountain Ghoul #Dewdrop Ghoul #Soot #Soot the Cat #Ghost fic #ghost fanfic #the band ghost fanfic #the band ghost fic #the band ghost fanfiction #nameless ghoul fic

[shmolish]

(does a lil twirl) hi!!! hello!! i’ve never sent in an ask like this before, so sorry if i do something wrong o|-<! but what would be your take/your thoughts on a yandere shadow milk situation, where the reader truly starts to fight back, resist? 🤔

AN: Inspo from the song "Meant To be Yours."

Shadow Milk x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Yandere, toxic relationship, obsessing, manipulation, mentions of murder

-Locked Out-

"Come on doll, you're just being silly!"

A few knocks would be sounded on your door.

"I already told you. I'm not coming out until you agree to let me leave!"

Shadow Milk sighed. Surely you didn't think that something as simple as a door would be able to stop him... right? He almost found your stupidity amusing....

Oh well. Entertaining this small delusion of yours for a little while couldn't hurt.

"You know locking yourself in there kind of defeats the purpose of being able to escape, right?" He'd ask you.

...

"I don't care! I just don't want to see your stupid face. I hate you!"

And you'd keep repeating that last line over and over.

"I hate you."

He knew better than anyone that those words held no truth. They couldn't! How could you hate him when all he's been doing has been in your name?

He lived for you. He breathed for you. All of his thoughts were for you. It was all you, you, you, you, you!

You were akin to a beautiful bird. One that, if it were to ever escape, would surely be hunted down by others. That's why you needed to stay here, with him, where he could keep you safe.

Keeping you chained down was in your best intrets, even if it did strip you of your freedom... He was the only one who deserved to see you, after all.

"Listen, my doll. I love you so much. Why don't we just end this silly argument?"

His voice sounded so inciting, yet it was laced with a venom that would kill you if you ever let it in.

"No. Don't talk to me unless you're bringing me outside."

There you went again, acting all stubborn... It was a fun game at first, but it's now become a lot more troublesome.

"Open this door," he said, this time with much less leniency in his voice.

He said it in such a way that shook you to your very core. It was cold and uncaring, unlike his usual playful self.

But... you just knew you couldn't open that door. You'd basically be handing your freedom over to him.

"You know I hate it when you do these things-" a loud bang came from the other side of the door, "you always make it look like I'm the bad guy."

But you would not move. You did not open that door. You could not open that door.

"If this door isn't open in five seconds, I'm going to come in there myself."

...

What caused his personality to change so much?

"Five."

Why did it have to be you that he adored?

"Four."

Can't he just leave you alone?

"Three."

He's actually insane!

"Two."

Please go away...

"One."

....

You asked for this, Shadow Milk thought to himself. If only you had cooperated more. Maybe he wouldn't have to do these things. It really was all your fault.

He vanished into some shadows before swiftly reappearing on the other side of the door; where you were.

Ah, he just loved seeing your face full of fear.

We're you scared of him?

Good. You should be.

It's about time you realize who's really pulling the strings.

"You didn't really think escaping me would be so easy right? A simple locked door is hardly an obstacle, doll." He bent down in front of you, smiling and patting your head degradingly.

Tears would prick the corners of your glossy eyes as you realized you had lost.

"Oh, I've just had the most brilliant idea!" He leaned slightly closer to you. "You said you wanted to go outside, right?"

There wasn't a response from you, but you looked up at him ever so slightly.

"How about I bring you to a nice little village and slaughter each one of the residents in front of you?" His smile turned crazed, and there was hardly any sanity left in those eyes of his.

I mean, of course he'd never actually bring you outside. There was too much risk in something like that. He just needed to scare you a bit. Get you to submit.

You'd grab his arm and started to beg; quite pathetically at that.

"Don't-"

He just kept smiling, forcing you to your feet and dragging you around by the wrist.

"Wait! Don't do that please," You'd say in between a few sobs.

His grasp around your wrist tightened.

"Tell me you're sorry," he said.

"What-?"

"Apologize."

"I'm sorry.." your legs began to quiver and you'd take a small step away from him instinctly.

He cupped your face, bringing you closer to him. "For what?"

"For not listening."

It's strange, really. He was the one breaking you down, yet you were the one apologizing. It's scary how easy it is to get you crawling back to him.

"All right. I'll forgive you. But only because I'm so loving and understanding."

He brought your face to his, pushing his forehead against yours.

"Just know that next time I won't hesitate to kill all of them, and it'll be all your fault if I do."

《☆》 Fin

#crk #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #cookie run x reader #cookie run shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk crk #cookie run kingdom shadow milk cookie #shadow milk x reader #crk shadow milk #shadow milk #shadow milk cookie #shadow milk x reader crk #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere shadow milk cookie #yan shadow milk cookie #yan shadow milk cookie x reader #smc #yan smc x reade crk

[panxramic]

Love.

Missa isn’t possessive no… he just sometimes sees Phil talking and laughing with someone else and he feels his gut twist and jealousy crawl across his skin.

But no… he’s not possessive. And there’s no reason for him to be so jealous right? Phil loves him, he tells him all the time. Missa has no reason to doubt Phil’s love for him. In fact, there is nothing better than basking under the love and adoration that Phil casts on to him.

Phil’s love is everything to Missa. It’s so special and unique, the type of love he wants to wrap himself in and drown in. The type of love he never wants to let go of, the type he doesn’t want to share. It’s a drug he can’t get enough of.

Is he being over dramatic? Sure. But there’s no other way to describe the obsession and attachment Missa has grown to Phil. He likes to think it isn’t a problem and then he hears back what he says and mayybeeee he might be a bit insane. Or just over dramatic. Or just insecure over love.

Missa doesn’t know what it is about Phil’s love but sometimes he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. Enjoying and loving love feels wrong. Anytime he gets an “I love you” or a compliment it feels like a special treat, one he needs to hold on to because he believes it will disappear from one day to the next.

Every time he accepts Phil’s love he gets excited. That excitement is destroyed by one person: himself. He feels weird getting excited over it, he feels like it’s wrong to be this happy and excited over feeling loved. Because what did he do to deserve it? Why is he being so weird? Why is he so obsessed? Why can’t he be normal about receiving this love?

No matter how he interacts with Phil’s love it never feels right. It’s either too much or not enough.

And then it gets worse. Now he’s sitting here thinking, what if I scare him away? What if I already have?

Phil’s love feels like glass to Missa. One wrong move and he thinks he will lose it. For good.

So, Missa is careful. He tries not to get too excited about the love in front of him, tries to keep it to himself to not scare Phil away. But he also tries and returns the love enough to show he appreciates him, to show that the love isn’t taken for granted.

But he never feels like he is enough. Nothing he does feels like it is enough.

And what a fucking asshole he is.

This person is giving him the world and yet Missa can’t help but overthink it all. How could he? How could I think so little of Phil?

Why can’t he just appreciate Phil’s love for what it is like a regular person? Why does he overthink it all?

The same questions, and no answers.

Missa couldn’t tell you why he feels the way he feels. It’s a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. He doesn’t think he will ever find them and that thought terrifies him.

Is this how it’s always going to be? Love is supposed to be beautiful, it’s supposed to be everything and more. So why does he feel like he’s suffocating? Like he’s ruining it all?

Missa wouldn’t exchange Phil’s love for the world. He’s done everything right. He’s been nothing but sweet and kind. Yet Missa’s mind always finds holes. And he knows, he KNOWS it makes no sense but he can’t stop. Because surely Phil will get sick of him. Surely Phil will find out how weirdly happy he gets with every I love you and kind remark. Surely Phil will find someone better.

Everything Phil does makes Missa’s heart flutter. It’s intoxicating. He always has a dopey smile around him, and if he could, he’d spend every moment and every second by Phil’s side. Whether it be talking, sitting, or sleeping, Phil’s presence next to his feels like the world finally makes sense.

The mere thought makes him want to claw at his arms. Every feeling he feels towards Phil makes him want to scratch at his skin and dissolve into a messy puddle. It’s too much. It’s too much on his mind and it’s too much on his heart. Missa feels so stupid. This type of over dramatic lovey dovey thought process is for teenagers in school going through hormones. He feels stupid and dumb for getting butterflies in his stomach. He feels icky and weird for the amount of love he feels.

And it’s not that loving Phil is weird, no. It’s that Missa thinks his love is too much. That whatever he returns will send Phil running. It’s why he sticks to paintings, he sticks to casual interactions and compliments. Missa doesn’t want to be too much but he doesn’t want Phil to be completely unloved. So he tries. Because Phil is everything to him, and he’ll try to show it to him in whatever way his mind allows it.

Missa will try and tell himself he’s not insecure. But the more he talks and looks back the more everything starts falling apart. He doesn’t want to be insecure. He doesn’t want to be a selfish and jealous partner and yet he always finds himself in those shoes.

Phil’s love is unique and exhilarating. Missa wishes he could keep Phil’s attention all to himself, he wishes he was the center of his world. Nothing makes Missa feel more like a selfish and entitled asshole than the jealousy that fires up in his veins when he realizes Phil is getting close with someone else, someone that’s not him.

He’s not possessive. He won’t go out of his way to control Phil, EVER. Phil can do as he pleases, and can talk to who he desires. Phil can have friends. Who the fuck is Missa to tell him who he can and can’t talk to? Missa knows, he KNOWS, how his thoughts sound but he can’t help but feel the darkness encompass his mind. It spreads and spreads infecting every inch of his brain and his heart. He feels rotten.

He’s rotten for ever thinking of looking through his things. He’s rotten for ever thinking of spying on his interactions with others. Missa is rotten for every thought he knows would violate his partners privacy like that. That’s not something you do to the person you love, he knows that. He wouldn’t want it done to himself. So no matter how insecure he feels, he won’t do it to Phil.

What would Phil think if he knew?

Phil deserves someone who isn’t so selfish and insecure. Phil deserves someone who doesn’t get their heart twisted and mushed every time he extends his love to someone else. Phil deserves someone who isn’t Missa. Anyone but Missa.

If anything he feels sorry for Phil. He’s sorry that he got stuck with someone who hides their feelings and prefers for everything to build up until they explode. Missa is sorry for feeling the way that he does. He’s sorry that he can’t love him the way he deserves to be loved.

Missa hates everything about this. He hates how miserable he feels. He hates the tightness in his throat, he hates the tightness in his heart, and he hates that he knows sooner or later he will lose Phil and he will be nothing more than someone else he was too afraid to hold tight onto. Someone else he let slip through the cracks.

Until then Missa will smile. Missa will say he is okay and that he loves Phil. Because he does. And he’ll hold onto this fantasy in his mind for as long as he can. He’ll hide all the dark and the ugly deep in his soul. He’ll cage it in the twisted parts of his heart. He’ll try to be perfect for as long as he can be.

Why can’t he just appreciate the love that has been so kindly handed to him? He has the perfect family, why can’t he be perfect for them too?

#deathduo #marv writes #not meant to be character analysis

[hqbaby]

four — can i see you

tag, ur it! — sakusa ? iwaizumi ? osamu ? 

*ੈ✩‧ love is a losing game your roommate, your rival, or your ex—the choice should be simple, right? right?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.1k content. profanity

You were a freshman. A stupid, naive, lost lamb of a freshman.

It was your first week at college and you’d gotten lost between classes. Your friends—stupid, lost freshmen just like you, though they’d never admit it—were no help at all. 

After walking around, imagining how the professor would scold you for being late for class (you later realized they didn’t care at all), you admitted defeat and sat down on a bench to wallow in your misery.

You contemplated how you’d tell your mother that you were dropping out of school, leaning back and trying your best not to burst into tears.

And that was when you saw him. The love of your life who was going to wreck it all.

He was tossing a frisbee around with a group of guys whose name you’d later come to know all too well. From a distance, he looked terrifying, definitely not the kind of guy you could walk up to and ask for directions. Yet, there you were, somehow pulled out of your seat, drawn to him.

“Hey,” he said, like you were an old friend. “You good?”

That’s when the floodgates opened and you found yourselves bawling to this stranger, blurting out every single one of your doubts and fears as he pulled himself away from his group and sat you down on a patch of grass.

He nodded to each of your worries and rubbed your back, trying to calm you down. “It’ll be okay,” he said between your rambling. “Just relax a little.”

Eventually, you ran out of words and tears and devolved into a hiccuping mess, rubbing your eyes and nose, trying to breathe.

“That’s it,” he said, smiling as you started to settle down.

You blinked at him. The embarrassment suddenly hit you and you buried your face in your hands. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” you said, avoiding his eyes. “I must look insane.”

He just laughed. “Nah, you’re good,” he told you, moving away from you and sitting down. “It’s good to let things out every now and then, you know. Helps the nerves or some shit.”

You looked up at him and cringed. Had you really just sobbed like a kid to this god of a man?

“I’m so fucking embarrased.”

He laughed again. “Don’t be,” he told you. “Do you want me to do something embarrassing to make up for it?”

You shook your head. “Please don’t. I’d feel worse,” you said. You wiped your eyes and let your shoulders slump. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he told you, getting up. He reached his hand out for you to take, and you surprised yourself when you took it and pulled yourself up. “Come on, let’s get you to class.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why are you so nice?”

He grinned at you and shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but it’s not every day that a pretty girl comes up to me and asks for help.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m really not,” he told you, grabbing your bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Let’s go, pretty girl, you wouldn’t wanna be late, would you?”

The two of you made your way back to the building, stopping at the restroom so you could try and salvage the way you looked. You already messed up one first impression by looking insane, you didn’t want your classmates to suffer the same fate.

He led you to the third floor where your classroom was, pointing out different places you’d need to know later on as you went. “You’re an art student right?”

You nodded. “Painting major.”

“Damn.” He whistled. “That’s kinda hot.”

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

He shook his head. “I’m really not,” he told you. “You gotta have a little more confidence if you’re gonna make it through college, pretty girl.”

Pretty girl. He’d called you that more times that you could count in the short amount of time that you’d been with him. If anything was going to drive you to the brink of insanity again, it was that silly pet name.

“You’re not some creepy upperclassman who’s gonna start stalking me, are you?” you asked. “Because if you are, I’m only into that in very special cases.”

“Hey, I’m probably a year older than you. Two, tops.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

He stopped in front of the door. 312-B, the classroom you’d spent the last hour looking for. He handed you your bag and smiled that easy smile of his.

“For the record, I’m not,” he said. “A creepy upperclassman, I mean.”

You smiled. “Yeah, I figured. A little boring, but it’s fine.”

“I’m Osamu,” he said, holding his hand out for you to shake.

You reached out and told him your name. “Thank you, really.”

His hand lingered on yours before he pulled away. “Don’t worry about it,” he told you. Then, he winked. “You can always pay me back later, pretty girl.”

And just like that, he turned to leave, waving at you as you pushed the door open.

You sat down in class waiting for your professor who would show up thirty minutes late, and all you could think about was Osamu. And he was really all you thought about for the rest of the week. And the next two years.

“You’re distracted,” Tsukishima says, dropping the stack of books on your desk. “Mimi wants to give these away.”

“Like donate them?” you ask, looking over the titles. Art books that you suspect you’ll never be able to afford at the rate you’re going. “Would she donate them to me?”

He shakes his head and walks over to his desk. “She just said to give them away,” he tells you. “Have at them.”

Smiling, you slide the books over to the side of your desk and turn back to your laptop. “Have you sent the emails yet?”

“Weren't you supposed to?”

“Yeah,” you say as you look over your laptop at him. You flutter your eyes at him in an attempt to make him weak at the knees. “But I was kinda hoping you’d do it.”

Tsukishima looks at you, immune to your tricks. “I could have her fire you right now, you know.”

You snarl. “I hate you.”

“Thanks. Now, send those emails,” he says, turning back to his own work. “So, why are you so distracted today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re never this crappy at your job,” he tells you. “What is it?”

You look over at where your phone is placed face down on your desk. You think of the text on it, waiting for your reply.

can i see you?

An overwhelming feeling washes over you. Like you’re a freshman again. Like you’re a fool.

You shudder at the thought.

“Nothing,” you say as you pull up the emails you were supposed to send. “Just tired.”

notes. and we're back!!! sorry for the late updates but we're starting back up again ;) so excited for you guys to read the rest of this series

#hqbaby.tag ur it! #hqbaby #haikyuu #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa #sakusa x reader #miya osamu #osamu #osamu x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader

[ariariari-freehounreal]

Tw: Violence. Sad, kinda dark shit. Mental unwellness. Body image. Self esteem issues. Fatphobia. Uhhh. Language?

I’ve had this idea of, after portal 2, Chell goes up to the surface and is met with a world occupied by combine.

She finds a city or just general occupied settlement, naively expecting compassion or help from other humans. Humans must be better. [I think Chell is very optimistic, despite her bluntness and stoic nature, which is why she’s so determined, because she has a lot of hope.]

But they aren’t better. And she’s treated like just another citizen. Probably worse, because she can’t talk. Maybe she even becomes like a black sheep and other citizens blame things on her so that she gets in trouble instead of them.

There’s so many ideas I have with this augh.

Ex 1: When Chell first arrives, and is first attacked by the combine, they grab her by her hair so she won’t get away before beating the shit outta her. This ends up massively affecting her self image and she buzzes her hair because she feels like it makes her too vulnerable. (Bonus if it makes her feel like her femininity is a weakness) (extra bonus if she lets her hair grow out when she goes back to GLaDOS because through building their relationship she’s able to regain some of her self confidence)

Ex 2: Chell has extra ptsd now and is very not okay with being touched or cornered/loomed over (bonus if she has nightmares and ends up going to GLaDOS for comfort and they’re awkward and sad and gay) (or if Wheatley is there he says something that triggers her and he doesn’t understand why she’s upset bc no one told him and GLaDOS explains it to him and he apologizes to her and is sweet and kind)

Ex 3: The reason Chell comes back to aperture is bc she’s been fatally injured or was intentionally neglected [probably widespread famine up there] and GLaDOS is like

You little shit‼️ wtf go away die somewhere else‼️ ughh…[then she gayly nurses her back to health and over time they build a healthier bond] [bonus if maybe GLaDOS is able to do some retrieval mission for Wheatley or something] [it’s so unrealistic but him being stranded in space makes me so sad]

ALSO side note but this idea makes me so joyous

So like I hc that if Chell was healthy and eating normally and shit she probably would be chubby and in GLaDOS care she gains weight bc she’s actually being cared for and fed right and she’s happier and healing [bonus science cooperation points if she has self esteem issues about it bc she doesn’t really understand beauty standards as a concept, but understands that as far as she can remember <being like…the events of portal 1 and 2> Fatness has always been equated to wrongness and ugliness and being generally bad so she associates her gaining weight with her being ugly and she has to unlearn that internalized fatphobia]

Okay I’m done ranting I’m actually so insane bye lol

#portal #portal 2 #chell #chell portal #wheatley #glados #chell x glados #chelldos #chell x wheatley #chelley #yayyy #sorry this is probably so strange and incomprehensible my portal autism is just off the walls today

[hamzastic]

hiiii could u do some long distance hamzah hcs pretty pls

ur my fav blog atm…😞🙏💌 bless ur writing

thank you babydoll 💝💝 that is so sweet ily <333 hope u enjoy

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪༊*·˚˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

long distance with hamzah

sfw

hamzah never thought he'd find himself in a long distance relationship, before you he'd argue that they were stupid and pointles..... but there he was pussy whipped by your through a damn screen

long distance with hamzah is actually not that terrible because he puts in as much effort that he can when being miles and miles away from you. even though he's so far away he still makes sure you feel so loved.

you guys are both constantly updating each other through messages. random pictures or just cute little messages. hamzah loves when you send random selfies or pictures of your outfit throughout the day, literally has him going crazy, wondering how he got so lucky with you.

hamzah will sometimes send you little care packages in the mail, they usually include some of his clothes (shirts, boxers, sweaters) and miscellaneous things or items that you'd tell him you were saving up for. even though he's so far away, he tries his best to spoil you.

when hamzah is really missing you, he literally wants to facetime you 24/7, he'll literally BEG you to stay on the phone. "cmon, just another hour." he says for the third time that day....

when you guys do get to visit one another, you usually like to go to him because you love visiting martin and mandy too. although with that, sometimes it's hard to just have one on one time. and the slushy noobz bts is a plus!

nsfw

hamzah SWORE up and down he'd never be the guy to send nudes, arguing it's too risky, but god sometimes you just have him going insane that he can't help himself. all your begging and complaining for a dick pic got the best of him.

one thing he doesn't mind sending you is bicep pictures, you have countless photos of him flexing in the mirror with a straight face in your camera roll. it's those pictures that turn you on the most. you hate not being able to climb all over your big buff boyfriend whenever you want :(

sometimes hamzah is too respectful that when you send him suggestive photos he just starts telling you how beautiful you are. which of course you don't mind, but sometimes you just want hamzah to tell you how badly he wants to fuck you (trust he's thinking it, he just doesn't want to cross any boundaries, despite telling him countless times you want him to 'talk dirty' to you)

sometimes if you're both REALLY feeling extra needy and horny, you'll get a little risky over the phone. you both kind of dislike phone sex, but desperate times call for desperate measures. enough said on that!

#works #hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefantastic x you #hamzahthefantastic headcanon #hamzahthefantastic headcanons #hamzahthefantastic x reader #hamzahthefantastic fanfic

[waffliesinyoface]

also since i haven't gone to bed yet, other characters' thoughts on trans-girl-shirou-emiya:

Taiga: shirou is her precious little sister. approximately 130% more jokes about shirou being a good housewife someday except they're not really jokes anymore are they? also thinks it's cute that shirou liked magical girls SO much she decided to become a girl. i know she's not actually that dumb but she does get caught up in her own brand of insanity that i think its entirely possible that she would very seriously tell shirou to be careful around boys, because pregnancy is no joke, shirou. it does not occur to either of them that shirou cannot actually become pregnant.

Sakura: im gonna be honest i dont entirely have a handle on sakura's inner monologue but i think this just makes her feelings for shirou way more complex but in New and Intersting ways but also i dont think she would realize for a long time that "being a lesbian" is like. possible.

Tohsaka: 1000% thought shirou was cis up until she comes over to stay at the emiya household at which point her entire brain screeches to a halt because "someone this pretty?? used to be a guy¹?? huh??" On non-UBW routes she eventually morphs into Halimede

Saber: gonna be honest i dont think saber cares about gender at all, and their relationship would be identical to canon

Ilya: Albrecht told her all about the "son" kiritsugu adopted but i think learning that shirou became kiritsugu's daughter instead (ignoring that transitioning only happened after kiritsugu died) would drive her insane. But also initially she wouldn't even realize who shirou was because she wasn't looking for a girl, so ilya'a first impression of shirou was "random nice girl". makes more housewife jokes than taiga does.

Shinji: the vibes are fucking atrocious

Ayako: is the closest thing FSN has to a butch lesbian. do the math. she wants shirou to come back to archery club so bad for reasons that definitely dont have anything to do with shirou's abs.

Archer: if archer transitioned too, their relationship is identical to canon. if archer didn't, then they're SO mad. so fucking mad.

Lancer: he was already kind of annoyed at having to kill shirou on the first night in canon, being ordered to kill a woman would leave a bad taste in his mouth. like he would still do it but he would complain, the whole time.

Rider: I know that shirou borrows books from her in Hollow Axtaria which is very cute. In this timeline some of those books are Books of Sapphos' Poetry. The dream sequence where she steals some mana is identical.

Caster: Honestly i feel like she would be transphobic. Like it just seems in line with her being awful.

Gilgamesh: if you thought he was sexist before you havent seen anything yet

Kirei: Honestly I feel like he would be happy for Shirou achieving some level of self actualization but this would not stop him from being The Worst

¹fsn takes place in the 90s, that is exactly the type of phrasing she would use

#fate/stay night

[nametakensff]

Ummmmmm… ⏰ for Steve??

Thank you so much for the 'Inopportune' prompt, anon! 🥰 Ended up writing 6.2k of S/teve suffering a torturous stuck sneeze that decided to make an appearance at the worst time imaginable 😇

S/teve has been trying to convince the stubborn tickle in his nose to form into a sneeze for hours. It just so happens that he will get his wish, but only when a stunning girl shows up to his work and takes an unprecedented amount of interest in his tickly nose

~~~~~

Content:

M sneezes, M/F (OC made up solely for the purpose of this fic lol), Stuck sneezes, buildups, false starts, manual inducing, tissues, platonic S/tobin, S/teve has a latent sneeze fetish, F OC has a sneeze fetish, sneezing from perfume, scent sensitivity, mentions of photic sneezing, mentions of cold sneezing, sneezing on someone, spray, a little bit of mess but nothing too graphic, sneezing in hands, nose rubbing, embarrassment/humiliation, mentions of masturbation and sex but only a little, S/teve has huge sneezes that he absolutely cannot control

Not explicitly NSFW but pretty close lol. Extremely fetishy

Minors DNI!

Steve had needed to sneeze all. Fucking. Day. It had started the moment he’d rolled out of bed – a distant tickle, not subtle enough to ignore but certainly not sharp enough to give him any kind of release. It was cloying and insistent, and no manner of nose rubbing, sniffling or snorting was doing anything to appease it. He’d sniffled repeatedly as he got dressed and brushed his teeth, hoping to fan the flames and stoke it into fruition. He’d rubbed the tip of his nose back and forth in the way that sometimes helped tip him over the edge of a sneeze just shy of completion. But no. Nothing. All he earned for his efforts was a couple of irritated tears rolling down his cheeks and an unpleasant burning sensation in his nostrils, as if the tickle was actively protesting the provocation.

He’d thought he would sneeze for sure when he’d styled his hair and inevitably inhaled his daily lungful of Farrah Fawcett hairspray fumes. It always tasted disgusting and lingered in his mouth and nose, but he was used to it. Today, the first whiff of the stuff seemed to skyrocket the dormant tickle into overdrive. His chest had jumped violently and the chemical scent seemed to drag the tickle forward through his sinuses; his nostrils began to flare.

“Hh…! HH! Hh-HAH!! HADHTT-!!”

But at the very last moment, when he’d been hanging right on the precipice of release, the sensation receded and the air in his lungs was let go with a startled, disappointed exhalation.

“God fucking dammit.” He’d muttered after several more moments of pleading with his body, eyelashes fluttering as he sniffled and panted, hoping that the manual inhalations would trigger an automatic onslaught of desperate gasps. Nope.

This tickle was definitely on his shitlist. It reared its ugly head again the second he put his car into drive. He’d white-knuckled the steering wheel, tipping his head back and taking in breath after lusty breath. God, but he needed to sneeze so badly.

Much the same as before, the tickle vanished right at the peak of his hitching, leaving him to deflate and scrub desperately at his tingling nostrils. This was fucking insane. A couple of minutes just sitting there and breathing experimentally made it clear that the mounting sensation was quite finished with him for the moment. It was still there, though, retreating back into the deepest recesses of his sinuses with a low grade buzz that left his eyes (and nose) perpetually damp. He swore and pulled out of the driveway, on his way to pick up Robin for their lengthy Saturday shift.

It was as he parked and honked the horn outside her house that the tickle made its unwelcome return. He inhaled deeply through his nostrils, alternating between sniffling and taking breaths through his mouth when that seemed to be stirring the tickle towards completion. He was far too invested in encouraging the sneeze along to care what he looked like when Robin sat down in the passenger seat, but he was sure the face he was making was ridiculous. He sat there and panted like a fucking dog, pressing his tongue against the bottom row of his teeth. Robin was silent next to him, but he could feel her eyes roving over his face as he hitched, and hitched, and hitched…

At last he bristled, one final, stuttering gasp expanding his chest to capacity and yes, he was going to sneeze, he was going to-!

“HAHHHDTTt’-!!”

He held that breath for one second, two seconds, but all at once it was withdrawing, pulling him back from that tantalising edge, bereft of release for the third time that day.

“Nooo, fuck my life!” He groaned, punching the steering wheel and pushing his nose firmly against one upraised palm, violently jostling it back and forth until an audibly damp squishing noise graced the air.

“Don’t tell me you forgot how to sneeze, Dingus?” Robin was giggling next to him, delighted at the sight of his bleary-eyed frustration.

“Haha, hilarious, Robin, thank you. No, it just won’t fucking come out. Dammit.”

He sniffled wetly, sawing a finger back and forth under his nostrils. A quick glance at himself in the front mirror made him grimace – the skin round his nose was looking increasingly irritated, pinkening in response to the repeated manhandling. All this and not even a single sneeze for his efforts.

Robin pressed a packet of tissues into his hand, and he offered a small thanks before blowing his nose. He ignored Robin’s comment about him signing up for a position in the brass section of band sans instrument and pulled away from her house.

“Have you even sneezed once?” She asked as he pocketed the tissues one-handed.

“Nope. Not one fucking sneeze.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut hard, for just a moment. The tickle simmered in response, as if in mockery.

“Doesn’t the sun make you sneeze?”

“Usually, first thing in the morning – but no, it should have happened by now. I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Caught a cold?”

He shook his head. He felt totally fine – the only thing wrong was the tickle, rolling through his sinuses in little waves. He blinked, and another set of tears dribbled slowly down his cheeks.

“Allergies?”

“Don’t have any. As far as I know? And nothing’s changed. I just woke up this way. Fuck, it burns, man!”

He reached up and bullied his nose back and forth with a balled-up fist this time, hoping the more aggressive approach would force the tickle to crest. All it did was hurt, and cause him to miss their turn.

By the time they’d pulled into the parking lot at Family Video, he had suffered two more agonising false starts, preceded by lengthy, dramatic buildups that made it a bitch to keep driving, to say the least. He slammed the car door behind him much harder than he would ever allow anyone else to do and strode angrily towards the building, but only made it a few steps before the tickle began to tease him all over again.

He peered up at the sun, knowing it would be useless but pleading with his body all the same. He gasped as the tickle ground against his sinuses, twisting his face into an expression of utter desperation. He’d never wanted to sneeze so badly before, never known his body to both hurtle towards and abjectly prevent the release of it in this cruel back and forth of “will he, won’t he”.

Well, he wouldn’t. Not this time, just like all the other times prior. His breath stuttered, a huge, definitive gasp, but even as it was sucked into his lungs he knew it wasn’t meant to be. It left him in an equally dramatic exhalation, immediately followed by an aggravated “Fuck!!”

Robin was next to him, patting his arm and steering him inside the building. He let her, waiting patiently whilst she unlocked the door and urged him through it.

“You feeling okay, buddy?” She asked, looking amused but genuinely concerned. He sighed and waved her off.

“Yeah, Robs, I’m fine. Kind of losing my mind a little but what else is new, you know?”

He meant to flash a reassuring smile her way, but the lingering tickle twisted it into a partial grimace. She snorted a goofy little laugh in response, and it was enough to make him laugh as well, though that also came out sounding more like a choking cough.

“I’ll cover phones and front desk today, okay, stud?”

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~

This shift was taking forever. Normally the passage of time was assuaged by dealing with customers and joking with Robin, but he was able to do neither, constantly assaulted with the prickling burn of the tickle. It had been hours since he woke up and he still hadn’t managed to sneeze. The false starts were, quite frankly, embarrassing beyond belief. He couldn’t help the way his expression crumpled, the gasps he sucked in, the way his entire body was immobilised by the building desire to sneeze. The best he could do was make sure he had his back turned on any potential spectators. A little girl had pointed and laughed at him, yanking at her mother’s skirt and announcing gleefully “Look, mommy! Funny faces!” That had sure fucking sucked. It totally didn’t make him want the floor to open up and swallow him at all.

It had taken one particularly aggressive false start – one he had been convinced was the real deal, so forceful that his body had been tossed forward with the half-sneeze – to piss him off entirely. He blushed right to the roots of his hair at the almost echoing silence after a monstrously loud “HUUUHHDTT’-!” had torn its way out of his throat, the sneeze cruelly fizzling into nothingness only after he had thoroughly embarrassed himself. Luckily, there had only been an older couple on the other side of the store at that particular moment – their conversation had vanished along with his sneeze, and he made a point of ignoring their curious gazes as he skulked into the back.

This was getting ridiculous. It had been ridiculous for hours, but he wasn’t sure how much more of the abject humiliation and fruitless buildups he could take. His nostrils flared involuntarily, rhythmically twitching like a bunny rabbit as the promise of a sneeze continued to tickle and tease the sensitive walls of his sinuses. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the small counter where Keith would fix himself an endless stream of PB&J sandwiches. Steve noticed that he hadn’t even bothered to put the loaf away from his shift the night prior, and half was already gone. Hungry work, he guessed.

Absentmindedly regarding the bread, his hands reached out to secure the small metal wire that Keith had left lazily untwisted. He didn’t like Keith, but he wasn’t enough of an asshole to let the man’s bread go stale out of spite. It was in that moment, as his fingertips brushed over the tie in question, that an idea lit up his brain.

Looking over his shoulder in case Robin made an appearance, he undid the tie entirely and pocketed it. He didn’t know why the thought of what he was about to do felt so salacious, but his heart was beating in his chest all the same. He made his way into the employee bathroom, locked the door behind him, and with sweating palms, extracted the tie and unfurled it into its full extension.

He looked at that little wire for a moment. Why oh why was he feeling so fucking nervous? It was a simple enough idea – stick the thing up his nose and wiggle it around until he made himself sneeze, replace the wire, then back to work. He wanted to sneeze so badly he could hardly focus on anything else, and yet – this felt…naughty. Dangerous. Like he was pulling his cock out at work and going to town. Which was entirely ridiculous, because it was just sneezing. Maybe the suggestive notion of inserting a phallic object into a hole? He huffed out a disbelieving giggle at that.

“Fucking stupid.” He mumbled, bringing the wire up to his nose and hesitating for just a moment.

Steve started out by teasing the flaring rim of one nostril, getting used to the sensation. It was almost immediately too much to bear, and he yanked his head back, eyes watering. It seemed that the best way to do this was to get it over with, no dragging things out. He paused for a second longer, almost giddy with anticipation, before slipping the wire back into his nose and pushing up until he was met with resistance – the very back of his nostril.

“Hh’HAHH!!”

His chest jumped with a sudden inhale – the inside of his nose was so, so irritated. The tiniest little twitch of the wire elicited an even bigger, lustier gasp of air.

“HUHHHH!!”

God. His heart was fucking pounding, eyes streaming tears as the wire bullied the sensitive walls, driving him mad in response. He’d never known a tickle like this before – he was entirely at its mercy, barely able to continue stoking it into completion with the subtle motions of his hand. He reached out, bracing himself on the wall with one trembling hand. It was coming, at last – he was finally, finally going to sneeze. His eyebrows lifted up, nostrils flaring to capacity, mouth dropping open as he took in one last humongous gasp of air, and –

“Steve?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden voice and gentle rapping on the bathroom door, dropping the wire as he shuddered in place. His heart had already going haywire in his chest, but now he swore his soul had almost left his body. The absolute shock, the fear – it was enough to terrify not only him, but the budding sneeze as well. He exhaled shakily, totally sneeze-less, feeling so frustrated he could cry.

“Yeah, I’m in here!” He grumbled, paranoid and hoping his voice didn’t somehow reveal to Robin the embarrassing nature of what he’d just been doing. He ignored the thought that it felt like the time his mom walked in on him jacking off in middle school.

“Okay, sorry!” She sounded concerned, and Steve sighed, running a hand over his face, willing himself to calm down. He sniffled, a distinctly liquid sound – the tickle continued its rampage, ever present but never enough to give him the relief he needed.

“You okay?” He offered back when he sensed her lingering. She would have heard that ridiculous false start before, watched him skulk into the back and not come back out.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just – checking in.”

“I’m fine, Robin. Promise.” He lied before blowing his nose as violently as he could, hoping in vain it would tickle enough to make him sneeze. It did not.

“Well, good. Listen, I was gonna go on lunch but I totally forgot to pack something – I’m gonna go grab a sandwich – I can get you one, too – but I just need you to cover for 15 teensy little minutes?”

He sighed.

“Yeah, it’s all good. Just go, I’ll be out in a second.”

He turned on the tap, hoping she would take the hint and leave.

“20 minutes tops!!” He heard her voice receding.

“Grab me a meatball sub!” He shouted after her. Maybe his irritability would deplete once he had the weight of a huge, greasy sandwich weighing him down and making him sleepy. At this point, he would take any kind of distraction.

He sighed again, sniffling once more and regretting it as the burning tickle brought fresh tears to his eyes, and made his way out to the front of the store.

~~~~~~

It would be just his fucking luck that within 4 minutes of Robin’s departure, one of the cutest girls he had ever seen strolled through the door and, upon witnessing Steve behind the front desk, made a beeline towards him. He willed the tickle to back the fuck off, at least enough so that he wasn’t wearing a permanent grimace of frustration.

Man, but this girl was smoking hot – he didn’t recall seeing her around, but then again, life was no longer high school and he wasn’t constantly crammed in a building with the same faces day in and day out. She didn’t look like a high schooler – she was, what, maybe a little older than him? College kid who was back in town for the holidays?  He didn’t have much longer to consider, taking in her auburn perm and the pretty lilac eye shadow she’d daubed across the corners of her eyes.

“Hi.” She said simply, placing her manicured hands on the edge of the counter. She smiled at Steve, and it was radiant. He wished she hadn’t chosen today of all days to suddenly appear in all her mouth-watering perfection.

“Hey.” He offered back, managing to neither hitch or gasp. “Do you need any assistance today?”

She slowly drummed her pretty fingers on the counter – expensive manicure, French tipped nails.

“I’m visiting my girlfriends over summer break and we’re having a pizza party. I was really hoping you might know of any decent romcoms –“ She paused for a moment, eyes flicking to his badge then back up to his face – “Steve.”

He tried so, so hard not to let the way she practically purred his name affect him, but this was feeling more and more like a wet dream by the second. The only way he knew for certain it wasn’t was the evil little tickle, prickling away and making his nostrils flare for just a moment. He hoped she hadn’t noticed but how could she not, making eyes at him like that. He reached up with a crooked finger, allowing himself the briefest of rubs before flashing her right on back with one of his best-practiced smiles.

“I’d be happy to help a customer in need, Ms…?”

“Clara. Call me Clara.”

She flipped her silky hair over her shoulder, a charming gesture that exposed the column of her elegant neck – but Steve had barely a moment to focus on it before a sudden wave of lavender smacked him in the face. She was wearing perfume – an overwhelming amount of the stuff.

Unable to help it, he coughed into an upraised fist, then used his knuckles to quell the tickle that seemed to almost explode in a fizz of sensation. He’d spent all day pleading with his body to make him sneeze, and the second it seemed to want to comply, he wanted anything but. Fuck his life. Fuck it hard.

“Ah, sorry.” He started, hoping his tone came across as easy-going and unselfconscious. “Just a touch of allergies.”

It was a lie – he had no clue what the fuck had gotten into him. Maybe he was getting sick after all – but the last thing he wanted to do was offend Clara. His response seemed to mollify her, her expression of disappointment morphing into a much more jovial countenance. He didn’t want to read into it too much, but she kind of looked a little…excited? He could work with that.

“Aw, that’s too bad.” Clara twirled a lock of her hair round her finger, looking at him with unmasked interest, eyes lidded and pupils blown. Oh, he could definitely work with that. He nodded at her.

“It’s not ideal, Clara, but I can handle it. Not gonna let a little bit of pollen stop me from providing ladies such as yourself with only the best of service.”

He smiled at her again, laying it on a little thick, hoping it would compensate for the way his nostrils kept twitching. It seemed to work like a charm – she looked positively spellbound, gently chewing on her bottom lip, eyes periodically flitting back and forth from his nose and eyes. Huh. Maybe she liked a little bit of vulnerability in her men.

“You’re a card.” She giggled back at him.

It felt good to get back into the swing of easy-going flirtation. It was almost enough for him to ignore the tickle raging in his sinuses. Almost. He sniffled, grinding the knuckle of a forefinger into the side of his nose and squinting one eye shut. It helped to prevent him from launching into another buildup, and luckily Clara seemed not to mind. She reached out to pat him conciliatorily on the arm he had rested on the counter.

“You poor thing. Got a tickle?”

The way she was looking at him right now was a look he was painfully familiar with – those were bedroom eyes she was ravishing him with. But right now? When he looked like…this? Man, who was this chick? He decided to roll with it.

“Such a tickle. It just won’t leave me alone – I’ve been sniffling all day.”

Okay, now that really seemed to work – little spots of red were starting to appear on her cheeks, visible under her expertly applied makeup. She even looked picture perfect when she blushed. He didn’t understand why she was blushing, but it was electrifying all the same.

“Enough about me, though.” He lowered the hand he had been bullying his nose with to rest on top of her own. She shuddered almost imperceptibly. “Let’s find you ladies a movie.”

~~~~~~

Clara was cool and all, but she truly didn’t seem to understand the concept of personal space. She was right up against Steve’s side as he launched into a little spiel about their most popular movies, his own recommendations, and just the odd little bit of movie trivia he’d managed to absorb from Robin that he hoped would really seal the deal of his own expertise. Clara nodded along eagerly, asking him for more details on each and every movie. He got the distinct feeling that she was dragging this out and keeping him talking on purpose. He was happy to oblige, but the malingering tickle was clearly fed up with being ignored for as long as it had been.

He’d launched into two separate buildups already, turning away from Clara and burying his face in the upraised collar of his polo shirt. Each had ended with more embarrassingly loud false starts before he inevitably deflated, turning back to her with an apology and a sheepish smile. Each time she had assured him it was no problem at all, edging even closer. Her pupils were huge.

“So, what are you thinking?” Steve smiled at her.

“Hmm?”

“About the movies? Any idea which ones?”

“Oh! Umm…maybe those ones?” She seemed a little bashful about the suddenly all too obvious way she’d been staring. It was nothing new to him – girls staring at him like he was a total dreamboat. It was extremely flattering, no matter how often it happened.

“Sure thing.”

He reached over her shoulder to grab one of the cassettes she was pointing towards – they were stood almost flush together, the way Clara had angled herself between him and the wall shelves. There was hardly any wriggle room, the corner of a perpendicular row of shelves pressing into his back. Ordinarily, this would have been a simple manoeuvre – a tantalising moment of fleeting physical connection, video tape obtained, guaranteed swooning on any girl’s part. But Clara, instead of melting back against his chest, spun round in surprise, looking up at him with heated eyes.

He wouldn’t have minded this, her breasts almost pushing against his chest and her pretty face so close to his, but that overwhelming lavender scent…It was almost unbearable. Not to mention that her squirming as he leaned forward meant he’d gotten a faceful of tickly, soft perm, just as saturated with the cloying floral scent as the rest of her. The omnipresent tickle exploded with renewed sensation at the double combo of internal and external stimulation.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was gonna sneeze. It was so imminent and so overpowering, and he was trapped between Clara and the shelves. Even without the building pressure rendering him immobile it would have required an awkward amount of wriggling to escape his current situation without pressing right up against her. And maybe he would have, if he wasn’t at fucking work, if he wasn’t about to sneeze all over this beautiful fucking girl. He shuddered with a sudden, uncontrollable gasp, mouth dropping open in a desperate gape. He was surprised he didn’t lose all control then and there, but he managed to hold back through sheer willpower. He turned his watering, rapidly closing eyes on her and tried to utter a warning, a plea that she get herself out of his way before it was too late.

“Hh-! C-Clara, I’m g-hh!! Gonnahh-hHH!! HUHH!!”

It was too much. Hours and hours of teasing torment, the tickle playing with him, bringing him to the peak of release then pulling him back over and over – it was all about to come to an end. He’d done all he could, he’d warned her; now he simply had to give in and let his body work himself up to that long sought-after release.

His nostrils flared to capacity, the round ellipses of them even more apparent in contrast to the sleek, pointed shape of his nose at rest. His eyebrows rose in a beatific acceptance of the approaching climax; his mouth hung gently open, pink tongue curling as he gasped. His lungs filled with air until they could fill no more.

“HhUH! HUHH! HUHHDTt-!!”

He couldn’t help the way his chest swelled and jumped, expanding with every desperate inhale, but even through the sneeze-induced paralysis he could have sworn Clara moved closer still. There was enough room for her slender figure to weasel her way around him, enough time as the mounting sensation rendered him frozen, but no. They were almost face to face. It was mortifying – he couldn’t believe what was about to happen. But he hurtled towards the climactic release all the same, and for a few seconds whilst he held onto a final inhalation in statuesque serenity, his mind turned blank and all he could focus on was the sweet anticipation of a truly colossal surrender.

And so, it was happening. It was finally happening. He was vaguely aware of Clara pushing her body up against him, nuzzling into him, and then it was exploding out of him in a dizzying rush of air and spray.

“HUUUUHHHHRISSSHHHHAHHHH!!!”

Ohh fuck. That felt so fucking good. He trembled with it, forced forward and into Clara, bracing himself with one hand on the wall shelf. He barely had a moment to luxuriate in the release before the tickle flared again, even more insistently, and he was gasping and cringing into a second monstrous sneeze.

“AEGK’TISSSSSSHHHHHHH’IEWWW!!”

That one felt even better. The pleasure of an itch well scratched sent a delicious commotion of goosebumps up and down the skin of his arms. But again, he wasn’t finished. He inhaled deeply, lustily, surrendering entirely and beckoning in a third explosion.

“HAHHH’YISHHHHHIEWWWW!!”

He let it do as it would with him, rocking him forward and sending a shiver down his spine. He almost moaned at its conclusion but was shocked to feel yet another sneeze beginning to swell. He tilted his head back, inviting it in – when he was brought back into himself by a gentle little gasp that was decidedly not his own.

Fuck. Clara. She was clinging to him now, pressed between him and the shelves. He was suddenly all too aware of her presence; the soft, fluffy hair rubbing against his cheek. He could have died of mortification. He wanted to, but his body wanted to sneeze even more. He managed to lift his shaky free hand around Clara’s shoulder and up to his face, just a moment too late as the fourth barrelled through him. It doused his fingers with a heavy spray as they lingered a foot away from his flaring nostrils.

“TISHHHHHHHHH’UUUU!!”

He snuffled, finally bringing his hand to face for the next one – and just in time. The harsh sneeze brought not only a fresh dousing of spray, but the dams of his sinuses finally burst, and a splattering of light mess graced his palm.

“HH’RIIISSSSSCHHHH!! HAH’AEGK’TSCHHHHIEWWW!!”

That sneeze brought a friend, just as messy and violent. God, would it ever end? He was getting lightheaded from the sheer force of the releases, in equal amounts pleasurable and exhausting. He sniffled hard, the sound thick and crackling. He felt like if he could just get the residual tickle out in one last, huge explosion, he could put an end to it. Even as the sneeze built, he continued to sniffle, fanning the flames of the tickle and increasing the irritation beyond what he thought his body capable. This was going to be big, even for him.

“HAHHHdTT-!! HAHHHH’GITTSCHHHHHH’IEWWW!!!”

Holy fuck. He couldn’t help the little moan of pleasure that escaped him afterwards, clutching his dripping hand to his face. He stood there, almost swaying, as he came back to himself. What a fucking fit – definitely the worst he’d had in recent history, even worse than the ones brought on by the cold he’d managed to catch last Christmas.

After a couple of seconds of sheer, self-indulgent bliss, he realised Clara was embracing him, rubbing a tentative hand up and down his back as he practically leant over her, pressing her into the shelf. He hadn’t realised quite how much the sneezes had thrown him forward and backed her up – she was practically sandwiched in place. His face flushed and he withdrew in a sudden clumsy scramble, ignoring the pain of the shelf that prodded into his back and managing at last to put some space between them.

Clara was red in the face, looking absolutely dumbfounded. It was bad enough, that he had practically smothered her at his place of work, but worst of all, his eyes could make out the distinctive darkened patches of moisture all over her pretty pink blouse. His sneezes, all over the fabric, so damp that it was almost clinging to her skin in places. Now he really wanted to die.

“Fuck, I am so, so sorry-!” He scrambled for a clean tissue one handed, his other hand still precariously pressed against his messy face, then started dabbing ineffectively at the saturated fabric of her blouse once he managed to yank one out of his pocket.

“No, it’s – it’s fine, honestly.” She said, gently taking the tissue from him and resuming his work, and he just had to take her word for it. She looked shy, but not disgusted. If anything, she looked – no. Surely the fuck not.

He extracted another tissue and turned away from her, grimacing as he wiped his hands and face clean. He hesitated for a short moment, glancing around the store and finding it empty – sweet Jesus in heaven, thank you. It took him several tissues to successfully blow his nose, but once he’d finished, he felt brand new. Completely purged of the tickle, he was an irritation-free man.

“Bless you.”

He turned around, a fresh wave of mortification crashing over him. The damage to her shirt had barely been dented by the measly little tissue. He’d effectively super-soaked her. It took all his remaining energy not to cringe and flee into the back of the store.

“I’m so sorry, Clara. I totally sneezed all over you. I promise I’m not getting sick. Shit.”

She smiled at him as he fumbled over his words, appearing not the least bit worried about getting sick at all.

“Honestly, Steve. It’s okay.”

He caught himself just before he cocked his head at her like a dog. This was not a normal response to being sneezed and spit on. Maybe she was just really, really kind. The alternative was much more ridiculous – he wouldn’t entertain it.

“You’re being so nice about this but I feel like such a jerk. I’ve been needing that all day and I just – couldn’t control it.”

“I could tell.” She giggled, looking more than okay to be in receipt of that information. Okay, so maybe she was more than just kind. He smiled back at her, relieved in more ways than one. Fuck, it had been great to sneeze, and being able to do so – making a total fucking mess of himself in front of a beautiful girl, who even seemed to like it – he would never curse his bad luck again. Deciding to test the waters a little, he rubbed a finger under his damp, flaring nostrils, delighting in the way her eyes followed the motion.

“Actually, it smells great and all but I think your perfume might be bothering me a little. Not that that’s a bad thing. I’d rather sneeze like that all day than be stuck with a tickle that won’t go away.”

He flashed her one of the cockiest grins he could muster. She looked like she was about to swoon.

“You really helped me out there.”

“Really?” She all but sighed, stepping towards him – and bringing with her a fresh wave of lavender.

“Y-yeah. Sorry, Clara, I’m gonna-!”

He managed to bring a new tissue up to his nose, quaking as an earth-shattering double raced through him and exploded into the soft paper.

“HAGK’TISSSSSSHHHH!! AESSSHHHHHUUU!! Ohh, god. Bless me.”

Clara offered him a breathy ‘Bless you’ of her own, which he thanked enthusiastically, making a show of wiping his nostrils clean. This seemed to have an almost hypnotic effect on her, broken only when he asked her if she’d still like to rent any movies.

“What?” She blinked her big, pretty eyes at him. He smiled.

“Want me to ring those movies up for you? These two, right?”

He reached for the tapes she’d been after and held them up for her to consider.

“Oh. Um. Yeah, those would be great, thanks.” She seemed embarrassed, like a spell had suddenly been broken and she finally realised she’d been making the sultriest bedroom eyes at him in the middle of an open store again.

He nodded, making his way back to the desk and gesturing for her to follow. He was almost euphoric as he updated her information on the computer. If one could experience afterglow from sneezing alone, he was definitely there. He just wanted to laze around and bask in the joy of being entirely tickle free, completely purged of all irritation. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, being teased and tormented like that, if the final result felt so damn good.

“Here you go! All set.”

He handed her the tapes with a winning smile and she took them with a little smile of her own. His eyes drifted to the speckled fabric of her blouse, still drenched with the result of his sneezing.

“Listen, I know you said you don’t mind but I still feel real awful about ruining your top. Will you let me pay for dry cleaning?”

She fixed him with another heated glance, twirling her pretty hair round her finger.

“I’d rather you use the money to take me out sometime.”

He grinned.

“Yeah? I can make that happen. You have a number I can call?”

Steve was grinning like an idiot and waving goodbye to a giggling Clara when Robin nearly made him jump out of his skin for the second time that day.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Jesus, Robin! That’s it, I’m getting you a bell.”

The irritation he intended to exude was clearly lost in translation, likely due to the fact that he couldn’t stop the smug grinning. Robin jabbed him in the ribs with her finger until he squirmed in protest.

“Who was that?”

He set about stacking tapes, enjoying the way Robin’s frustration built as he turned away from her. She poked him harder.

“Steve, tell me who that crazy hot girl was and why she was still making eyes at you even after you snotted all over her right now.”

He groaned. He mustn’t have heard her come back in – which made total sense. He could have been on another planet for how out of it that sneezing had made him.

“How long were you watching?”

“Long enough.” Robin smirked, before handing him a sandwich. He took it gratefully.

“You’re a saint, Robs.”

“Worked up an appetite?” She smirked at him, taking a bite out of her own. Keith would have chewed them out for eating out front, but Steve couldn’t care less. He practically tore into his own, getting sauce all over the tip of his nose with the sheer voracity of his bite.

“You could say that.” He mumbled round a mouthful of bread and meat. “Her name is Clara.” He offered before taking another huge bite.

“I’ve never seen her before.”

“Me neither. Think she’s from out of town, visiting friends. Didn’t really ask. College girl.”

“She was cute. And totally weird.”

“That’s a fucking understatement. I can’t believe I sneezed all over her and she still wants me take her on a date.”

“Steve, you’re great, but believe me, if I could figure out what the fuck it is you manage to do to charm these girls, I would bottle that shit and make a million in sales overnight.”

“Hmm. This felt different though. I think she – maybe liked me more? After I started sneezing? She kept giving me these eyes, Robin – and I wasn’t even trying.”

“Well,” Robin started with a gentle slap on his shoulder. “If you figure it out, let me know. Maybe all I need to do is start sneezing on the girls I like.”

“Shut up, man!” Steve called after her as she sauntered away, laughing through another huge mouthful of food.

He didn’t know what the fuck this girl’s deal was, but with any luck, she would let him know in the back of his car. Or in the back of a movie theatre. Or in her bed. And he hoped she was wearing that perfume when she did.

#I had so much fun writing this. like. so much #s/tranger t/hings #nametakenfic #sneeze fic #sneeze kink #snz kink #snzfucker #sneeze fucker #snz fet #snzblr

[slut4sohee]

wet dreamz

pairing. jiung x reader

summary. you make a bold move and jiung’s wet dreams come true

wc. like 908

warnings. slight smut, like real slight; sexual content; set in high school so underage sex; first time; grammatical errors because they are passing notes

a/n. wrote this purely for fun so it’s not put together very well; also heavily based on the j.cole song

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

you had the biggest crush on jiung.

but so did a lot of other people and it lowkey irritated you. it made sense though; he was kind, attractive, respectful, shy and awkward but in an endearing way. he made you actually look forward to school, especially math class (and you would lowkey be depressed whenever he didn't show up).

the two of you were passing notes in class, as always, you were telling about him about the gossip between the students in your class.

‘yo Isaac and Hana having sex is kinda crazy. I thought he went with Jordan??’ he wrote after reading the gossip.

‘right?? apparently Isaac wanted to fuck but Jordan wanted to wait and Hana had a thing for him so that's how they ended up doing the do’

‘that's actually insane, how do you even know all of this’

‘high schoolers love to run their mouths’

‘true’

a question popped into your head and before you knew it, curiousity took over your body. you were writing it down then passing the paper to him.

‘have u ever had sex before?’

you glanced at him reading the note but quickly averted your gaze when the anxiety suddenly hit.

the paper slid into your line of sight:

‘ofc I've had sex before. I'm sumn like a pro tbh’

you weren't gonna lie, reading his note broke your heart a little, but i mean who wouldn't want to fuck him.

‘oh rlly? lmk how much of a pro you are then... my mom’s gone for the weekend’ you wrote back.

your stomach dropped as you watched him read the note from the corner of your eye. you don't know where this boldness came from but if it got you a moment with jiung, you weren't mad at it.

‘word?’

sparklers erupted in your stomach. you wanted to jump up and down but you had to be cool, ‘yeah i'll text you the addy’.

𖨆♡𖨆

jiung had the biggest crush on you.

i mean who wouldn't, you were funny, kind, caring, smart, gorgeous and not to mention your body.

you were the reason why math was his favorite class. you two used to talk and make jokes in the back of the class until the teacher got mad and said she'd separate you if you didn’t stop. so you resorted to exchanging notes.

the notes you would pass were initially innocent; cracking jokes, making fun of the teacher, gossiping, talking about interests. until you asked the question that changed your dynamic forever. ‘have u ever had sex before?’

jiung froze. he could feel his body getting hot, his heart rate increasing, and his blood rushing to his special place. he had to stop himself from daydreaming right there and then in that math class. but he had to play it cool, he didn't want to look like a lame bozo, so he wrote back ‘ofc i've had sex before. i'm sumn like a pro tbh.’ he was lying like fuck but you didn't know that.

‘oh rlly? lmk how much of a pro you are then... my mom’s gone for the weekend’

jiung couldn't believe his eyes; he was going to have sex with you this weekend. it was something he could only dream of, literally. it all seemed so surreal.

for the rest of class he had to repeatedly stop himself from daydreaming so he wouldn't sport an erection.

on the way home, he stopped to buy condoms; because you know, he had to be prepared.

that night, he did his research (he watched porn and went on reddit). he wanted to know how to please you in a way that didn't scream “virgin!”

come saturday, jiung thought his heart was going to jump out his chest and run away. he spent the whole way hoping and praying. hoping he was big enough for you, hoping that he moved well enough for you to not know he was a virgin, and praying that he lasted long enough (he rubbed one out before going to meet you because reddit said that would help him last longer). the closer he got to your door, the more he forgot how to walk.

when you opened the door, it took everything in him to not bust right then and there. what you were wearing was very revealing. he tried his best to not look at your ass and thighs when you led him upstairs to your room.

in your bedroom, where the action began, he was feeling on you, just doing what he was advised. and he figured it was working because you started feeling warmer, gasping and moaning. he got on top and you started unbuckling his belt and rubbing on him.

you were making him feel so good and soon enough he couldn't take it anymore.

he pulled out the condom and put it on as smoothly as he practiced (yes, he practiced that).

before he filled you up, you stopped him looking as shy as ever.

“there's probably something i should tell you before we do this: i can tell you're experienced and everything but i’m still a virgin so please be gentle.”

hearing those words from your lips basically made all of his nervousness disappear. the fact that you were also a virgin and that he didn't seem like a virgin to you eased his anxiety and definitely boosted his confidence.

“don't worry baby, i’ll be gentle...”

#p1harmony #p1h jiung #p1h x reader #jiung x reader #jiung fanfic #jiung smut

[thenobleprincex]

sometimes i just start thinking about the twelfth doctor and i just.... *screams*

#i do what i do because its right #do you think i care about you so little that betraying me would make a difference #and when i close my eyes!!! #clara am i a good man #i just... like i can't even say i have a favorite doctor and i find those kinds of conversations very silly #but 12th does drive me insane in very particular ways #and they all have great speeches that i love deeply but his wake something absolutely feral in me #and i was also a 12th/clara girlie so there's also that lol #but i love him and his fierceness so very very much #12th doctor #twelfth doctor #doctor who #mine

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

#dr who #i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life #they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different #like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him #even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT. #but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously #and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show #but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying #the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like #having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy #but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat #i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room #series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short. #i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all #she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving #and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think #it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent #martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME. #anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak #series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2. #even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao #ten and martha #10 era

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[mossflower]

loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!! #by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

[srvphm]

in french we have this fun little expression “tantôt” that can either mean “earlier” or “later” and knowing which it is is always a little deduction game based on context and verb tense

#you would think that makes it very confusing #but I use and hear that word v frequently and I can only recall one time when it was assumed to be the wrong one #I think I meant it as earlier and it was understood as later or smt #I just think it’s funny that there’s a word that technically means two mutually exclusive and opposed concepts #but when you think about it they’re p similar. the important part is that it’s always used for a little span of time #usually the same day #like if I say I’ll take care of it tantôt it’s implied that it will be later today #same if I say I took care of it tantôt #it’s interesting to think about how language is used to express our vision of the world but it also shapes it in many ways #because explaining this in english makes french sound kind of insane #but in my mind this makes perfect sense #yeah it’s about later and earlier but the core is that we’re talking about just a little bit of time

[wantbytaemin]

hey let’s just have a little diary moment here no one needs to read this really but i wanna get it off my chest thank you 🫶🏻

#it’s a little self negative which if you know me you know im vehemently against bc i spent enough years hating myself and finally Finally #flipped the situation around to appreciating myself and that’s a very big feat and took a lot etc etc and i’m very comfortable w myself and #my personality and preferences and all that but something i’m having a very hard time dealing with is being rejected #even just the possibility makes me go insane and i feel really annoying and vulnerable lately and i want it to go away very badly but i #assume it won’t unless i actively do something about it but i won’t bc that’s just unthinkable to me and i’ve never been in this kind of #situation before anyway and it SUCKS badly. i am just now realising what it must feel like to be afraid of rejection just bc i’ve never #cared enough to be afraid of it but it’s serious and im SCARED and annoying and too much and can’t keep my mouth shuttttt omg. #i know this makes no sense to the best of us it barely even makes sense to ME im just trying to navigate these big scary feelings by myself #and it’s a lot but it’ll be better i know it will. in time. but for right now? torture and insanity.

[classical-vanity]

.

#also while I’m out here making posts I guess lol #I feel like I’m being so cringe about Chris #i feel like I’ve not been as insane about anyone as I am about him #you can rest assured I’m aware of it #kind of embarrassing the reactions I have to him #but oh well #it is what it is at the moment #I’m sorry if it is annoying to any of you that follow me:))) #hopefully it’s not tho #i just can’t help it #i see him and i lose my mind a little every time #it’s fun to me but I’m also being kinda cringe about it #i am tagging everything so tags can be blocked if anyone wants to avoid kpop stuff I reblog #I assume most people won’t care but yeah #channie #stray kids #personal