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[panxramic]

Tallulah looked down at her hand.

Certificate of adoption.

“Lullah!” She quickly hid the paper and sprinted back into the house.

She did want to tell her Papa Phil, but she was nervous. It wasn’t like the first time, Lullah remembers very well the day she asked Phil to take her in temporarily. He already had a kid, Chayanne, and she was just someone dropped off at his doorstep. She didn’t know what Phil would think or if he would say yes, but today she knows this will bring him glee.

So why was she nervous? Phil loved her, she was already a part of the family. Or maybe it’s excitement bundled into nerves. When Lullah first saw the certificate she couldn’t believe it. Finally, an official form to show who her family is.

Lullah knows who her family is. It’s been crystal clear ever since they’ve entered this new island. But something about the certificate makes it feel set in stone, it makes her feel secure. It feels like the last piece of the puzzle slotting into place. She gets to step back and admire the work and journey to finally get to this moment.

She gets to flaunt this certificate around, gets to be seen as Phil and Missa’s daughter by more than just the family. No more fighting for extra cookies, no more back and forth with the federation about their situation. Lullah knew in her heart she was officially part of the family, but every single reminder that technically, she’s not, felt like a prick to the heart. And now she has it, physical proof that this is her family. Something she can touch and see.

It’s silly really, it’s just a piece of paper at the end of the day. But she can’t help and read the words again and again. No one could ever doubt who her family is. Not the federation, not any outsiders, nobody. One last fuck you to everybody holding her back and tying her to her past.

This is her family, and this is where she belongs.

#qsmp tallulah #qsmp #marv writes #tallulah #death family #gonna post this to Twitter in a bit #so if you see it twice #shhhh

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q!Phil’s continuous rise in anger and frustration with not seeing q!Missa and him running away again is slowly chipping at him and I’m wondering if this time he will put his foot down more aggressively and be like “hey! Dickhead! Stop leaving your family!!” But also who knows if he has the strength to actually get mad and yell at q!Missa.

These two mf’s have continuously had the power to make the angstiest return but always miss each other too much for it to dissolve into anything other than hugs and “I miss you’s”

They are incapable of being anything other than lovey dovey they make me sick!!! (/lh)

(But also maybe a little anger, maybe maybe, just tiny angst, maybe this much 🤏🏻)

#q!Phil can act mad now but once #he sees q!Missa he’ll fold #marv rants #qsmp philza #death family #qsmp missa

[panxramic]

Taking Tallulah’s hair color change and inserting as much lore as I can into it. It’s just like when she got the haircut, a feeling of brand new, of moving on and changing. I love it sm

This new island has always been a new step for her, a way for her to move on. She’s left behind old memories and pictures, forgotten letters and homes. She’s finally found herself in a family, a family she’s been dreaming and hoping of. It’s not perfect, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but it’s HERS, this is her family. She has an older brother she’d do anything for and two dads that love her endlessly. What else could she want?

So she changes her clothes, that’s the first thing she did a while ago. She matches q!Phil’s every step. And she finds things for herself.. Her mushroom beanie is one of the first things she ever got that truly felt like her own. She was made to reflect someone else, but THIS, this is her own. This is something she liked and she wanted, not something the federation threw upon her. She finds a liking to the color purple, and with that she weaves her own clothes to match q!Phil’s. It’s a mix of the person she loves and herself. Because truly who was the person that raised her? The person that has influenced her her entire life and has helped shape who she would become? It’s always been q!Phil. And that’s reflected in her clothes.

And now on this new island she also has a new dad. q!Missa. Who didn’t hesitate to take her in and call her his own. He’s been lovely, and with him she’s nurtured that side of her that’s more artistic and more creative. She also gets to tangle more into her culture and speak Spanish more. Her features match his. They have similar noses and eyes, the same moles on their cheeks. But the one thing that always stood out about Tallulah in the family has been her hair.

Tallulah’s hair has always been brown for as long as she can remember. It's been the one feature that doesn’t quite fit with the rest of the family. qPhil and Chayanne have blonde hair, qMissa has black hair. And sometimes Chayanne’s hair also reflects that of q!Missa’s.

Tallulah’s brown hair is the final tie to her past. It’s the one thing that makes her stand out, that shows the world she was destined for somebody else. It haunts her. So… as the final piece of the puzzle… it goes from brown to black.

Her hair is that final tether, and she was ready as ever to let it go, to let go of her past and let go of that pain. She’s moving on. Her hair is as black as qMissa’s, it’s as dark as the night sky. It matches every wither rose they come across. She’s part of the death family, one look at her and you can tell where she belongs.

And she does, for the first time in her life she feels like she belongs.

It’s scary, it is. Her brown hair has been such a huge defining feature of hers for so long. The black hair is a drastic change. What is everyone else gonna say? What are they gonna think? Is it going to look good at all? Who knows, we’ll see, but she’s never been so sure of herself.

This is who Tallulah is. This is who she has become. A person weaved and influenced by those around her, the people she’s spent time with. She’s taken their details and made them her own, she’s become her own person now. No longer is she the image of someone who left her to pick up the pieces no. She’s the image of those who helped her back up, of those who cared for her and watched her grow up to become the very person we see in front of our eyes.

She’s Tallulah. She likes the color purple and she loves animals. She wants to build a sanctuary for birds. She loves her brother Chayanne and she wears her heart on her sleeve. She has black hair and a purple beanie. And she’s a part of death family.

[panxramic]

The Sun’s (Phil and Chayanne) always the most overprotective over the Moon’s of the family (Missa and Tallulah)

Like today with q!Phil being extra worried for Tallulah so he saved her first and Chayanne always being the one to jump in and attack anybody who dares to hurt q!Missa.

The entire family is protective of course but those two have this flare to them where they burn like the sun and unleash on those that dare hurt the most emotional of the family. Chayanne brings out his sword and stands in front of Tallulah and q!Missa if need be and Phil will go out of his way to scold and yell, making it known that if anyone misses with his family they will mess with him too.

#I love them #sun and moon dynamic #as always #marv writes #death family #qsmp missa #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #qsmp philza #QSMP

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YA VINE YA ME VOY, CHAUU

Blame on Marv (aka @panxramic) for fueling this to the bone.

#OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGOD #OHMYGOD #THIS IS SO ?/?/!:$ #deathduo #qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp missa

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Love seeing people from twitter using duo names like here we say pissa (not neg just think it’s funny)

I know people on here use the tag pissa for /r and I’ve always seen deathduo as /qpr so I refrain from using the pissa tag :)

#my work is not /r #qpr deathduo is my drug

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That’s HIS Missa hope you guys know that I don’t know if you didn’t catch it but he’s /his/ like the man with the purple hood and skeletal face? yeah? that guy? yeah! he’s q!Phil’s idk if you knew but it’s been said and it’s in writing q!Missa is his and only his don’t forget it! Tattoo it into your eyelids, the crow has a precious gem and damn anybody who tries to take him away.

#MY MISSA #MY #MISSA #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #deathduo #QSMP #DEATHDUO FOREVER AND ALWAYS #sorry #I can’t stop thinking abt that stream😭

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Lost and Found

A death family fic a part of my “The Cat and The Crow” series

Chayanne and Tallulah get separated and lost, forced to search for the other alone. That’s when a cat and a crow appear to help protect and guide the siblings back to one another.

Phil and Missa adopt two lost kids… oh, and they’re a crow and a cat.

AO3

#qsmp tallulah #tallulah #qsmp #marv writes #qsmp philza #qsmp chayanne #death family #chayanne #qsmp missa #the cat and the crow au #fanfic

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welcome back to:

kash’s death family moments and scenarios she comes up with!!

here’s the second one:

imagine, the family buys one of those inflatable ring pools for your backyard over the summer for the kids to play in. they start using it, it’s a fun time, all is well!

then, chayanne and tallulah get an idea; why don’t they bring it inside to have a pool party inside! (imagine it probably is about to rain or something and they can’t use it while it’s raining cause q!phil and q!missa say so)

so, cut to q!deathduo being completely distracted and unaware of what their kids are doing and chayanne and tallulah are trying their absolute hardest to hurry and sneakily bring this already inflated pool (with a tiny puddle of water still in it) through their back door and up into their shared bedroom.

after about 10-15 minutes of trying to shove the pool in through many different ways, folding it, probably switching who is on what side of the pool; they finally get it in and drag it up to their room to get the pool party started.

jump forward to a while later, q!phil and q!missa have not checked in on what their kids have been doing, and once they see the trail of water from the back door that’s heading straight up into the children’s room, they know something is up. they make their way upstairs, and once they open the bedroom door their jaws drop.

in the middle of the kids’ room, is the pool, not even filled up all the way (about a sliver of it is filled cause they only had 2 cups, a sink, and a dream to fill that pool up and they got tired and antsy fast). there’s a clearly visible trail of water running from the bathroom and to their room from where a ton of water spilt out while the kids were rushing to fill the pool. all of the toys you can possibly imagine are just sitting in the centimeter high water, and chayanne and tallulah are happily right in the middle of it all, swimsuits on fully, enjoying themselves.

q!phil and q!missa are completely shocked, because 1. what does one parent do in this scenario, and 2. their kids managed to do this without them knowing and they are genuinely impressed!

#never get on a 2 am call with us #we become delirious and invent this #I’m still giggling over it #death family

[panxramic]

Missa cubito ohmygod today’s stream was SOOO.

Firstly, I haven’t talked about this but the fact that q!Missa has finally accepted the family home as his home too makes me want to snob. The fact that he calls it HIS home too, after spending so long distancing himself and saying that he doesn’t deserve to live with them? It makes my heart spin. And yes he still has his movements of self doubt but he knows now that this is his home and this is where he will always return to no matter what.

And I adore the little things that Missa notices. Last stream he got so giddy over the barrel in the house with his name on it and got so happy that he was included with the rest of the family even if he didn’t have anything in it. And then once again today gasping and getting happy at seeing the barrel again as if it was the first time all over. Missa loves being loved and he adores the little things the family does to show it. And how does he return the favor? With drawings he can leave behind dedicated to each one of them. Because he loves his family and he will find a way to physically show it even if he can’t be awake when they are.

And ohhh today with the cakes. He struggled so much and he lost so much energy trying to make the birthday cake for Tallulah but he would not give up until he got it done for both of them because his kids deserve it. And can I also point out I don’t think he realized it was also Chayanne’s birthday but he still made him a cake because he wanted to give something to his son and not make him feel left out. And when he was making the drawing for Tallulah he would not stop and he would not let ANYTHING distract him because his daughter deserves the world and she deserves the perfect painting.

Then come the raccoons. He goes and helps them clean because maybe he can earn money for the family and help out more around the house -> something Missa has always struggled with. He always wants to provide for the family the way they have him so he goes along with these raccoons. Then it all goes to shit when Bad logs on and he finds out it was his home they were cleaning. He finds the dead bodies and he gets scared because… who is this man he’s been calling his friend? Why does he have a grave of bodies underneath his home?

Missa runs. He tries to run away from q!Bad but he always finds him. And then it gets revealed that Missa was working with the raccoons and Bad backs away from Missa because how could he betray him. And Missa does try to explain it, he doesn’t know what is going on. He’s lost and confused and no one is answering his questions. q!Bad threatens and leaves q!Missa with the racoons just for the racoons to stab Missa in the back and rob him too.

This is when he asks himself, who can he trust? q!Bad isn’t who he thought he was, and the racoons betrayed him. He has considered q!Bad a friend for a long time because he’s always on when Missa is on and is always there to help (though if you ask me I would argue the opposite). He tried finding a way to justify Bad’s behavior, even the stuff chat brings up until he can’t. So, he goes back home and prepares a letter to Phil.

Because he realizes after everything in his life, after continuously trusting and relying on the wrong people, he concludes he can only trust q!Phil.

Missa never really leaves letters. His thing has always been paintings and small gifts. But for the first time (in what might be a long time) he leaves Phil a letter. Now that he’s accepted this is his home, he sees it’s also a place people can use to hurt him, in this case q!Bad.

Notice how when q!Bad came back and said he was gonna prank q!Phil and left, q!Missa immediately ran in to check on the kids? His priority and his fear will always be losing his family. He has spent so much of his life pushing himself a way from them, he doesn’t want to lose them when they’re so so close.

But as always… Missa runs. He runs away and sleeps somewhere else for tonight.

In his defense, I will say that this time it’s different. He’s running to protect his family. Is it the best option? I don’t think so. Missa always has struggled with feeling like he isn’t enough. And in this case, his families lives could be in danger so he runs away, because it’s his fault and he isn’t enough to protect them.

I will say. Things have changed. Because this time around he warned Phil. These two have had SOOO many instances of miscommunication and not talking to one another and we finally have a moment in which Phil is hearing directly from Missa. Not some other character, not his kids, Missa.

And the last thing Missa said when he went to bed. He wasn’t sleeping on a bed, because the only bed he will ever sleep on is the one in his home. LIKE FUCK. Yes he ran, yes he left to protect his family. But that’s his home. That’s where he will ALWAYS return to for comfort and safety. It isn’t a forever. It’s just for now.

For the first time, Missa is certain he will always have a home to return to.

#sorry if this makes no sense #I love Missa cubito so much #I just had to spit this out #qsmp #marv rants #death family #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #deathduo

[panxramic]

Tallulah means a whole lot to me. It feels so silly but she’s literally the reason why I started watching QSMP the way that I did and the sole character that roped me in on day one when we met her. She’s just a silly Minecraft egg but I’ve truly fallen in love with her story and who she is as a character. I’ve written countless analyses, I have pages upon pages of writings about her from the way that she handles arguments to the way she interacts with animals. Her story is one I completely adore and I hold her very deeply to my heart.

Truthfully I can’t really put my finger on why I love her so dearly. Yes her story is interesting but there’s something so deeply human and bittersweet in everything that has happened. There’s rough edges, she isn’t perfect, she isn’t a saint, but she tries her best to survive and above all live. Because what’s surviving worth if she’s not living the life that she dreams of? Of a life with the people she loves the most? It’s a story about finding yourself and seeing the ugliest parts head on while also looking back at the innocence of it all. Of recognizing that you’re human too.

Ahh I just really adore this character so much and I could literally sit here and write essays upon essays about her journey. And yes I’ve been a bit… overprotective… of her, but it truly just comes from a deep passion about explaining her story and sharing it with others lol I swearrr. I never seem to know when to stop yapping and yet I can’t really put into words how much this character has affected my life. Which sounds dumb in hindsight but hey, it makes me happy writing my dumb shit so what can I say.

Love her sm, mi niña chiquita como la quiero. One year :,)

A Letter To Tallulah

Hope, love, and trust, the most important facets and the encompassing themes of Tallulah’s story. From the beginning to the present we’ve seen Tallulah’s struggle with hope and love and trust in more ways than one. Hope is hard, it’s difficult to maintain. You can get blinded by that hope and drown in it or lose it completely and thus lose yourself, and Tallulah has showcased both sides. She’s struggled with love and being loved. Whether it be herself or by others love encompasses her story in every facet. She’s loved too quickly and too easily, but she’s also pushed others away and refused to love like she once did. There’s hope and laughter in love but there’s also misery and pain. Love is fucking terrifying and it can damage your being so deeply. But it also heals. She’s young and still figuring it out, she’s had her heart broken again and again. It seems like now however, she’s in a place in which she finally has that love, now it’s just not losing it. Not letting others ruin what she’s wanted all along. A family to love, a family that loves her. And with that love, comes trust. Trust is so important to Tallulah. Once broken you can never get it back, almost impossible to build upon again. So, how is she going to trust her father after everything that has happened? Two sides of her, trust and love, fighting one another trying to find their way out. All she can do is hope it’ll work out, that her love, her fathers love, is strong enough to help them push through.

I can write an entire essay on these 3 things when it comes to Tallulah’s story, but that’s not what this letter is for. Today is Tallulah’s birthday, a year since she got out of the attic and got to experience the world for the first time. It’s been a rollercoaster watching her change and grow for an entire year, and whether she comes back or not, I am grateful for the story that we did get. A story of a little girl who through it all found her place, she found her family. A little girl who only wanted to be loved and was met with repeated pain, abandonment, and suffering. She was knocked down again and again, both by others and herself. She's been bitter and cold, she’s been nice and sweet. A little girl who has been trying to figure out her place in the world, a family to call her home, and trying to figure out who she will be.

Who is Tallulah?

Tallulah is strong, she’s brave. She’s angry and resentful. She’s kindness and empathy. Tallulah is headstrong, stubborn, and understanding. She can befriend the angriest and toughest of beasts and heal the most delicate of flowers. In a world of pain and misery she’s found it in herself to keep pushing through. To hope and love no matter what life throws at her (even if she’s struggled with that too). She’s still figuring herself out, she’s still trying to live a life with the people that she loves. But slowly, she’s getting there, you can say she has gotten there.

Happy birthday Tallulah. One year, you’ve made it. Through it all you’re still fighting, you’re still hopeful, and you’re still here.

And to the admin, thank you for the story you shared and hopefully will continue to share. It’s been so much fun writing and analyzing this past year and I hope you enjoy the things that I’ve written.

Happy one year Tallulah :)

#sorry I had to add more #marv writes #tallulah #QSMP #qsmp tallulah

[panxramic]

A Letter To Tallulah

Hope, love, and trust, the most important facets and the encompassing themes of Tallulah’s story. From the beginning to the present we’ve seen Tallulah’s struggle with hope and love and trust in more ways than one. Hope is hard, it’s difficult to maintain. You can get blinded by that hope and drown in it or lose it completely and thus lose yourself, and Tallulah has showcased both sides. She’s struggled with love and being loved. Whether it be herself or by others love encompasses her story in every facet. She’s loved too quickly and too easily, but she’s also pushed others away and refused to love like she once did. There’s hope and laughter in love but there’s also misery and pain. Love is fucking terrifying and it can damage your being so deeply. But it also heals. She’s young and still figuring it out, she’s had her heart broken again and again. It seems like now however, she’s in a place in which she finally has that love, now it’s just not losing it. Not letting others ruin what she’s wanted all along. A family to love, a family that loves her. And with that love, comes trust. Trust is so important to Tallulah. Once broken you can never get it back, almost impossible to build upon again. So, how is she going to trust her father after everything that has happened? Two sides of her, trust and love, fighting one another trying to find their way out. All she can do is hope it’ll work out, that her love, her fathers love, is strong enough to help them push through.

I can write an entire essay on these 3 things when it comes to Tallulah’s story, but that’s not what this letter is for. Today is Tallulah’s birthday, a year since she got out of the attic and got to experience the world for the first time. It’s been a rollercoaster watching her change and grow for an entire year, and whether she comes back or not, I am grateful for the story that we did get. A story of a little girl who through it all found her place, she found her family. A little girl who only wanted to be loved and was met with repeated pain, abandonment, and suffering. She was knocked down again and again, both by others and herself. She's been bitter and cold, she’s been nice and sweet. A little girl who has been trying to figure out her place in the world, a family to call her home, and trying to figure out who she will be.

Who is Tallulah?

Tallulah is strong, she’s brave. She’s angry and resentful. She’s kindness and empathy. Tallulah is headstrong, stubborn, and understanding. She can befriend the angriest and toughest of beasts and heal the most delicate of flowers. In a world of pain and misery she’s found it in herself to keep pushing through. To hope and love no matter what life throws at her (even if she’s struggled with that too). She’s still figuring herself out, she’s still trying to live a life with the people that she loves. But slowly, she’s getting there, you can say she has gotten there.

Happy birthday Tallulah. One year, you’ve made it. Through it all you’re still fighting, you’re still hopeful, and you’re still here.

And to the admin, thank you for the story you shared and hopefully will continue to share. It’s been so much fun writing and analyzing this past year and I hope you enjoy the things that I’ve written.

Happy one year Tallulah :)

#I miss her #qsmp tallulah #tallulah #qsmp #marv rants

[panxramic]

going to start a little “series” where i post these domestic family ideas or scenarios i come up with (or have came up with together while on call with marv) that are all centered around death family! just cause i think they’re silly and cute and they make me happy :3

also, we NEED MORE DOMESTIC FAMILY MOMENTS WITH DEATH FAMILY PLEASE!!! just think of the possibilities, people!!!

anyways,

here’s the first one:

q!missa started the idea with the kids when they were super young (babies, basically) that if they ever got hurt, you can kiss the hurt spot to make it all better. q!phil is always amused by it and thought it was silly, but of course went along with it (it quickly became routine, and he took the job seriously lmao) chayanne and tallulah both fully believed it, and it always stuck with them. whenever one of them (or both of them maybe) got hurt, always would ask q!missa or q!phil for a kiss on their owie to make it feel better. (sometimes they would ask each other too if needed). and it always worked. of course, q!phil and q!missa would properly cover up whatever they hurt so it doesn’t get infected or irritated etc. but they always make sure to kiss it first before just so it stops hurting. :))

#guess who’s using this for their fic? #me #that’s who #sundrop and moondrop au #it’s still in the works >:) #death family

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The Ocean and The Sky

The Ocean could feel the eclipse slowly change her tides. One look at the sky and she could see her beautiful Moon finally getting to meet his Sun.

It was dark outside, but in that darkness she could see the stars and the universe painted across the atmosphere as the Sun and Moon fell into their embrace.

The Sky was beautiful, the Universe was beautiful. She too was looking at her Sun and the Moon meeting. Such a delicate and intimate moment.

The Ocean turned to the Sky, they smiled at one another. Two beautiful beings, sparkling in the darkness of the eclipse. They may never get to meet, miles apart unable to reach one another. Sorrowfully, they watch as the Moon and the Sun finish their embrace, saying their goodbyes until the next eclipse.

The Moon returns to the Ocean, the Sun stays with the Sky.

The Ocean looks up, the stars start disappearing and the planets fall away from view. With a wave she says goodbye. Maybe one day she’ll get to meet the Sky.

#hear me out #Mafer goddess of the sea #as the ocean #Missa is her Moon #and I’ve always said Kristin is #the universe #she’s the void #she’s the sky #it makes sense trust #qsmp #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #QSMP Mafer #qsmp kristin

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Quiet days like these is when I sit and write self indulgent fics all day to my hearts content.

So yes, I did write different scenarios in which Tallulah is able to project herself into the void and she meets different life series members and they just sit and talk.

It’s just fics and characters analysis in a setting that makes my brain happy.

(So far my favorite has been her and Scar. He’s one of the last she meets as he’s the last to die after winning Secret Life).

#qsmp tallulah #tallulah #marv rants #idk where I’m going with this #life series

[panxramic]

Sundrop and Moondrop AU

(something I randomly thought of at 1 am)

—

Phil and Tallulah

Tallulah refused to turn around, “I didn’t think you’d come looking.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. Something ugly twisted in Phil, how could she ever think that? He might not have known her for long, but Tallulah had already changed his life for the better. He would always come running.

Softly he questioned her, “Why?”

“No one ever does.”

And that’s when everything slowly clicked in place for him. How many times has she done this? How many times has she been abandoned? Phil couldn’t process who in the world could ever leave a little girl behind like that. It makes him think back to how he found her, he thought she had just lost her parents, but it seems like she never had anybody to begin with. It’s why she has been so cold, so distant. Her wary smiles, her hesitant hugs, the way she would stare at them as if she was already mourning them.

He hears a sniffle.

“It’s okay, thanks for worrying about me. You have been the nicest out of all of them.” And he has, Tallulah thinks Phil and his family are wonderful. Missa was so kind, and she hopes one day she can find Chayanne again. It would’ve been nice to stay she thinks.

Instead, Tallulah begins walking away.

Quickly Phil interrupts, “I didn’t keep my promise.”

She stops, and glances back perplexed.

“I promised to take you fishing in the Goddesses Lagoon, let me fulfill that promise, then you can decide if you want to leave.” Give us a chance, give me a chance, and then you can decide.

Tallulah stares at Phil’s outstretched hand.

She’s terrified.

Can she really walk away? Can she really trust this? She doesn’t want to be heartbroken again. It is easier to go back to what she knows, to go back to what she is used to. It will hurt less once they decide to get rid of her. And yet here Phil is standing out in the cold rain in the middle of nowhere asking her to stay. He came out all this way, just for her.

He did promise to show her the lagoon one day, and you can’t break a promise.

“Okay, but just for a bit.” I’ll give you a chance.

#just thinking #marv writes #sdmd tallulah #sdmd phil #sdmdau #sundrop and moondrop au

[panxramic]

A little excerpt from my Sundrop and Moondrop AU :)

-

Chayanne and Tallulah

-

When Tallulah wakes up it is late at night and Chayanne is gone. Her face feels icky from all the crying and the last thing she wants to do is get out of bed. She looks over to Chayanne’s side of the room and finds his bed empty, which is odd at this late at night. The moon is just above their window shining a light glow into their room. Everything feels cold tonight, more so than usual.

Sometimes it feels like the world is laughing at Tallulah, seeing what it can take from her next. She’s young still, and it feels like people keep coming in and out of her life more often than she can remember. She’s been abandoned again and again, left to rot alone in countless orphanages and attics. No matter what she does, or how nice she acts, no one stays. Soon everyone gets tired of her, they send her to the next home or throw her out into the streets to die. It was a miracle the emperors wanted her.

Tallulah was found one breath away from death. She doesn’t remember much, but she remembers a man with blonde hair and giant wings holding her. She remembers a long journey in which she spent the majority of the time sleeping. She also remembers a little boy with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. He wouldn’t leave her side, even took it upon himself to hold her throughout the journey. But the one thing she will never forget is his eyes.

When Tallulah first met Chayanne she swears his eyes glowed. They called to her, mesmerized her in a way nothing else ever has. She was only 6 when she met him. Phil and Missa say that for the longest time, they couldn’t get her to stop crying, but Chayanne could, he always could. Tallulah distinctly remembers it was the eyes, something about them calmed her down.

She thinks maybe it was her just imagining things, maybe some trick of the light. Either way, bright blue eyes or not, Chayanne’s ability to calm her down has remained. Through every nightmare and bad dream, he’s always been there. Every scrap and every bruise. Even when she’s gotten into trouble and grounded, Chayanne would always be the one to sneak her in cookies or treats she was banned from having.

He knows her, knows her better than anyone else ever has. And just as he knows her, she knows him too.

Cautiously she makes her way out of their chambers. This part of the castle seems quiet tonight, even with the extra guards she can see down the hall. No one else seems to be asleep, probably trying to figure out where apa Missa went. Quietly she sneaks down the hall and around the corner to the doors of her parent's bedroom. She opens the doors and surely enough, there is Chayanne.

He is wrapped up in the blankets, lying on apa Missa’s side of the bed. She makes her way around to his side, closer, she can see him clutching tightly onto his duck plushie.

The moon's light is perfectly situated on his face. Tallulah swears she can see bright yellow and blue specks in his eyes. But under the light, she can also see faint marks of dry tears down his cheeks. She feels her heart shatter.

Tallulah thinks the world has been incredibly unfair to her. Time and time again she’s been abandoned, left to rot by her parents who believed her to be a curse. She believed she could be happy here, she believed she had parents that would stay. But the world was unkind and decided to take one of them away from her. And yet through it all, there’s been one person who has stuck by her side, one person who hasn’t left her. For the first time, Tallulah has someone to cry with. She has someone to hold her and dry her tears. It hurts, but at least she’s not alone.

Tallulah makes her way around the bed onto papa Phil’s side. He must still be awake, trying to find out what happened to his husband, her other dad. She climbs into the blanket and gives Chayanne a tight squeeze.

Into the moonlight, she whispers, “I’m here for you too.”

#I love #sdmd tallulah #and #sdmd Chayanne #to bits #also story might have some changes #but this is part of it for now ;) #tallulah #qsmp #marv writes #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #chayanne #sdmdau #tangled AU #sundrop and moondrop au