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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year

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"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:

And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.

Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.

Much love. xxx

please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]

ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—

sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.

(i am feeling unhinged about it)

SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:

The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore

^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this

that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.

it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.

maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.

sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3

#liv in the replies #every time you send me a message i do the thing where i’ve got heart emojis for thumbs & cease any coherency #FIRSTLY chris driedger who i loved as seattle’s goalie without even knowing the story:#dreidger fourth layer of a dream is making me tear up AGAIN hours later as i try to write this the echl the coast easy come hard to leave &#when he talks about being somebody’s guy laying my head down in the bog & dragging my hands over my face chris who let you say that. who let #u break my HEART i truly don’t think i will ever recover from the inception reference bc that’s what they all talk abt u know? the nhl dream #the players’ tribune articles are often some of the most poetic & touching sports writing & every time i am reminded i lose my shit about it #SECONDLY:#the ever present spectre of dylan’s first boyfriend zach werenski #i have so so so many quotes? drafts? posts? about the thing with saying someone’s name to call them closer to you i say your name to speak #more of you into the world so i will possibly look for some of those to say what i mean but also: this poem was originally reminiscent of #willingly by tess gallagher which is my ajax jack / superbuddies poem & this specifically did go with the a drop of paint / the light has #fallen through you part of it but there’s a part of THIS poem which i did not include that talks about the late light / has already happened #will go on happening forever & that whole poem with this now to say i know it’s embarrassing i’m asking for it :: easy to write about light #like falling asleep on the couch & having to carry yourself up to bed is the dylan/zach heartbreak of this. waiting & waiting for the things #you used to do & the love you used to / were promised to have with the hope that if you keep the coffee ready he’ll come drink it & instead #you have too many cups of tea one yours & one cold then half-warmed over & too sweet for your tastes but you’ve learned to drink it anyway #okAY now third:#this w/the UMICH BOYS? N O I DIDN’T EVEN!!! NOT A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN!!! & now i can’t stop thinking!!! & i had an entire PLAYLIST already #a ??? while ago before i even truly knew the umich boys Narratives™️ i heard maude latour’s song ‘one more weekend’ & went hahaha isn’t that #a great song for when you have that One Summer of college before everyone splits off into their own lives? isn’t that a fun little umich boy #going into the nhl narrative?? to which i said NO but then it spiraled into a playlist &now there is delightful heartbreak to go with vibes #umich scholars please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong on any points i can’t remember anything presently about anything #also the f a c t that that vegas picture is real and i know exactly what you’re talking about is making me %^•*]+£’ bc how!! is that real!!!#okay ALSO just throwing in brinksy like a casual AHAHA have brainworm for a year (my autocorrect tried to go bringst like angst which. lmao)#connor and dylan… all of my journeymen… we did not touch that because i WILL start yelling about sam gagner and marc staal and #the chrysalis and the caterpillar

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kenobihater · 1 year

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could you tell me more about vaslav nijinsky? I'm also bipolar and your posts/tags about him have piqued my interest

bipolar gang!! and i'm far from an expert, i really just know of him from the frank bidart poem the war of vaslav nijinsky and some cursory wikipedia research following me devouring said poem. it's a masterful poem, but tws for abuse and mental breakdowns. i do know that @sneakysnijinskyresearch has compiled a bunch of things on him for research on a student film, so i'd head there if you want a list of resources that can do him justice! nijinsky also wrote a diary while psychotic which has been published and i just found out about today. i'm ordering the unexpurgated edition :^)

#len answers #sorry i can't do him more justice. i really don't wanna talk outta my ass abt him when i've read 1 poem and 1 wiki article lmao #the poem though... god that poem is one of my favorites of all time. gonna maybe annotate it today bc i was hit with the urge lol #mr bidart i HATE HATE HATE some of your poems but this one was a slam dunk dude #if you're interested in more of bidart's poetry i'm currently reading and writing up a tw list for his entire half light collection bc boy #are some of those poems ROUGH. like i don't even have those triggers and even i struggle with some of them. so yeah i'd love to #blanket recommend his work but i can't in good conscience. the war of vaslav nijinsky is pretty good tho if you can deal with abuse and #mental instability as themes!!

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master-of-the-opera-house · 2 years

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11 12 20

Thank you darling!!

Archduke Franz Ferdinand:

11. What is your favourite portrayal of them in fiction (e.g. movies, novels etc.)?

My own play

No but really, I don't think I have a favourite fictional portrayal of him bc most media that deal with him are way more focused on, well you know, the assassination and resulting war and all that than on him as an actual person. The only one that comes to mind is that Christopher Plummer movie and they bimboified him which. Literally 0/10 like have u all seen this man he's supposed to look like Taxidermy Fox.

that being said this novel is funny as hell idk if it's my favourite per se because it's SO MEAN to him but the way they were just making up Depressed Bitch thoughts for him..... Iconic. So really, in this media desert I've been stuck with....

12. Let us know the three best books about your favourite historical figure!

a. The Assassination of the Archduke by Greg King and Sue Woolmans was genuinely a great read!! Sensitively written, with a very narrative flow, it was more than a little biased towards him but you know what, it makes up for every other piece of literature out there that is extremely biased //against// him, so I say screw it. Just keep that in mind and take the more flattering bits with a pinch of salt and you'll be grand.

b. Archduke of Sarajevo by Gordon Brook Shepherd - I'm only halfway through it proper, but it seems promising so far & from the skim I've given it, which is why I'm even here reading it in the first place djhdkdkdkdks

c. So this isn't one I've actually read YET, but Alma Hannig's biography is also said to be very gracefully written and I'm dying to get my filthy hands on it. School library i am BEGGING you ((derogatory))

20. What is your favourite possession that refers to your favourite historical figure (e.g. statue, book etc.)?

Ok sorry for the absolute degeneracy but

UHM LOOK AT THIS EXTREMELY LITTLE MEOW MEOW I MADE?????????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 ISN'T HE JUST STUNNING ((listen I don't //own// any ''''official'''"" merch or whatever which is a crying shame, like I couldn't find anything in Vienna even :( not that I'm too surprised, but desperate times call for desperate measures -))

#Notes to the opera populaire #Re the book one ive DEFINITELY read other books but they dont really stand out as books //about him// which is why #I picked a book i havent read over them...... I WILL attain it. I WILL attain it. I w #Anyway other notable mentions are the archduke and the assassin by lavender cassels which is decent #Esp in the first half where shes writing him but it doesnt quite hit after - gets more political abt the pre war situation than biographica #The secret of sarajevo satisfies my sweet tooth but it is VERY airy-fairy so i cant say it's like. Objectively good djnsksbdjkshc #And re the media question i think theres an austrian tv series which hes in???? Im mad curious about that one #Bc the guy playing him looks like he's done comedy from stalking his Instagram page and theres like one (1) photo he looks franzi enough #((i mean not q there ofc bc. Truly 👁️👄👁️ BUT))#he also does look sufficiently awkward in one of the behind the scenes shorts and im optimistic!!1!1!1 i have to be bc there is NOTHING 💀#Anyway. Yeah i am also trying to get my hands on that I'm deadass the let me in!!! Meme @ everything #aLSO..... RE STUFF I ALSO. HAVE UHM. A MASK WITH THE ASSASSINATION ARTICLE ON IT & A GRAPHIC TEE & A STICKER OF MY ICON aka my sisters joke #History #Edit: he doesn't look like franzi would it kill to give ur actors light blue contacts at least or like the right hairstyle ffbfjfjdjdjdjdk #Edit 2: hitler and the habsburgs started out promising and i liked whatever they had to say about franzi!#The author even picked up that he was ND in some way and i was like yeah...... But then the writing got increasingly subjective #And there were no footnotes/in text citations to boot either which :///// anyway i couldn't even finish it just got too annoying sO

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ssaalexblake · 2 years

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the look on my mum’s face when i told her they were making another season of cm was a Picture fjfkfdkfdl

#cm shit #for the record #idk if i'll watch it #i am sad abt henney but he's in that other show #am Elated abt the other dude's absence #more for the practicality of it forcing them to write it properly #without a human cheat code in the scene #but also i can't even be bothered to read the article So #(i only know anything happens bc of alma *shrug emoji*)

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star-sim · 4 months

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"nooo! she's taken!" ☆ enha maknaes

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen maknaes x celebrity! fem! reader ☆ summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆ genre: fluff, another poor attempt at humor, it's very silly ☆ warning(s)? none! lmk if you'd like to see this w the hyungs! hyung ver.

sunoo ☆

so youre a famous actress

you have your official instagram account

and then your personal one, that you only allow family and personal friends to follow

sunoo, your bf, also has an account on instagram

since most of you friends and family know him, it's not uncommon for him to take your phone and post on your personal account

one of those "hai guys i stole her phone 🤭"

all in good fun

so one night, you and sunoo and cuddling

it was one of those vibey nights

the lights were dim, candles lighting up the room with their orangey hue, light music playing in the background

laying on you and sunoo's shared bed, his face buried into the crook of his neck while you run your fingers through his hair

its honestly so soft and warm and comfy :]

the two of you aren't really talking to each other, just basking in each other's presence

and eventually you begin to doze off

at first sunoo was like "baaaaabee!! why did you stop touching my hair"

but then he realized you were asleep

so after givng your cheek a soft peck, and tucking you into the soft blankets

sunoo physically goes >:]

he takes your phone and decides that he's going to spam your personal account

because tbh he does this a lot and it's funny for everyone involved

sunoo takes very silly pictures of you and him

pictures of you sleeping, ones at very silly angles (ik he takes the most FOUL 0.5s)

on your story he posts them with also very ridiculous captions

theres one of you sleeping with the caption "mimimumuimuiu"

another fisheye lens one of sunoo with the caption "hai i stole [name]'s phone 😈"

but he also posts some sweet ones

like one where you're dozing off in his arms w the caption "she's so cute"

sunoo gets mushy at some point

like his captions go from funny to "im so happy that i get to call myself [name]'s boyfriend, i feel so lucky to be with such a beautiful and talented woman"

that's great!

really!

that's wonderful!

but.

there's just one problem

one

teeeeeeensy

weeeeeeeeeensy

problem

he was using the wrong account.

he was posting all this on your official, business, 7.8 million follower, instagram account.

and not your personal account.

!!!!!

😱😱😱

he doesn't notice until 20 minutes later his phone blows up with articles and text messages

and when he notices

sunoos like OH SHIT

he shakes you awake

and poor boy is so apologetic :(

"baby i'm so sorry i didn't mean to out our relationship like that i should have been more careful-"

but when he explains it to you

you kinda just laugh

and go back to sleep

HELP

sunoo deletes the stories but people already screenshotted them

yeah... so this blows up

i feel like they would become memes

like the ones of you sleeping become reaction memes or even worse part of those tiktok meme slides LMAOAOAO

a lot of people think it's adorable

and you do too

but sunoo is so embarrassed

poor boy

he was writing out entire think pieces on your instagram story oml

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE

there's definitely articles that come out about this

and yk how on articles theres a title page with images

one of the images is of you ofc

all these news outlets use your super professional HD MODEL pictures of you

like ones where youre a goddamn SMOKE SHOW, the "who is she?" ones, the ZOOWEE MAMA ones...

and then they use one of the foul images that sunoo takes of himself that are like 3 pixels

like the 0.5 lens ones 😭

nevertheless, there is a happy ending

everyone thinks its so sweet

including you

and when people bring it up on interviews you're able to just laugh about it

jungwon ☆

we joke abt jay and sunghoon and sunoo having mad side eyes

but i think we forget the FATHER of INSANE SIDE EYES

YANG JUNGWON HIMSELF

you're a singer/artist

and you just released a new EP!

on tiktok, you're making promotional videos to promote your new songs

looking like a cutie, popping off, as you always do!

anyways in many of them

you're in front of a glass door

or a mirror

so as youre being an absolute cutie promoting your song, in the background in the reflection you can see jungwon making faces

NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAKING FACES AT YOU

but bc sometimes there's ppl walking by and being judgy

jungwon is giving them mad stink eyes and it's caught in the reflection of your videos

i don't think a lot of ppl notice it until someone points it out

and when they do

theyre like

WHO TF IS THAT 😭

ppl are making tiktoks simply zooming into his face LMAOAOAO

and then a few days later

the paparazzi released pictures of you walking with jungwon, holding hands and on a date

and when ppl see it

theyre like

hmm...

that guy looks a lot like the guy in the reflection...

and then the dots connect

like sunoo, i think jungwon is embarrassed

everytime someone brings it up jungwon hides his face in your neck

and he wears that cute little bashful grin

but honestly it's cute

so just hug him and kiss his lil cheeks and he'll be okay

it kinda becomes viral on tiktok

so you make a few video stitches about it

you stitched the og video that pointed out jungwon's face in the background

your stitch was just a video of jungwon being embarrassed and freaking out

like bro was on the floor, hands in his hair

jungwon was in the trenches sorry 😭

there's another stitch where jungwon explains himself

he's dressed in a suit and tie and speaking so formally like he was making an apology video or something

"i would like to address a recent clip of me making inappropriate facial expressions-"

"babe you don't need to be so formal, it's a tiktok"

"you shant say that, i must do this for this is my will"

BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE ☠️☠️☠️

#freejungwon

riki ☆

youre an actress that's very popular

except some ppl hate you bc they think hating popular people makes them interesting *eye roll*

safe to say.... riki is your NUMBER ONE DEFENDER

like he is the ring leader to all of those [name] stan twt group chats

he's the one leading those discord raids on your hate groups OH MY GOD 😭

he has multiple accounts and he fights every person that dares tarnish your name

twitter is his battlefield and the keyboard is his sword

anyways one day riki is so deep into an internet fight that he GETS DOXXED 😭😭

like it wasn't even graceful

i think he'd make fun of one of your haters

and the hater goes "wanna see something funny? :)"

and BOOM

ADDRESS

IP ADDRESS

FULL NAME

PERSONAL EMAIL

PHONE NUMBER

dont actually dox people guys its not funny

when riki gets doxxed they get his full name right

and the hater, his assailent, and their little posse start searching his name on social media to further dox him

and BOOM #2

THEY FIND HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT

now riki isn't stupid

so his ig acc is private

however.....

the profile picture of his acc is a selfie of you and him kissing

they also did research on him and found out that you and him went to the same high school...

in fact they found miscellaneous pictures posted online of you and him a few years back... holding hands n shit....

SHIT

this goes viral over night

its so bad that even news headlines are covering it

"TWITTER USER @[NAME]LUVER1209, HOT ACTRESS [NAME]'S MOST NOTORIOUS INTERNET DEFENDER, IS REVEALED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND 😱😱😱"

i feel like the public's reaction to this would be really light-hearted

like i think mst ppl would be cheering riki on

"he's so real"

"oh my god i think i was mutuals with @[name]luver1209"

"this is what true love looks like"

you have super loyal fans and riki's mutuals so they support you too

except i do think theyd be in shambles, but in good fun

"i just found out [name] has a bf im going to flush myself down a toilet"

"i can't believe she chose @[name]luver1209 when his fancams are so shit... THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!'

"i've been here waiting in line for three years and this random @[name]luver1209 swoops in and takes my woman..."

riki's stan account gains a lot of followers

and so with your permission

he posts a selfie of you and him

probably with a cheeky caption like "KISS MY ASS!!!!"

i feel like people go back and watch old talk show interviews and stuff

and if you zoom in

you'll see riki in the front rows cheering the loudest 😭

bro is everywhere

in the future there's def a moment where like

you're at a live talk show

and the host asks you about the fiasco

and you can literally just point to him in the audience like

"yeah my boyfriend's right there-- hi baby!"

and riki from the audience, behind his phone that he's using to record you like its a fancam, is like "hi baby!" back

i dont think the media even calls him riki, he's stuck as @[name]luver1209 forever

not that he minds

😭😭😭

hyung ver.

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eddiesxangel · 8 months

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Im gonna need u to elaborate on that post abt Eddie holding ur vibrator 'what kinda microphone is this'

You say elaborate… I say I’ll write a whole fic about it 😅😅

But You Don’t Even Like Karaoke? | virgin!eddiemunson x bestfriend!reader (afab reader)

WC 3.3K

CONTENTS WARNING: SMUT

You invited Eddie up for the weekend to your shabby student apartment. You've been away at Indiana State while Eddie was still stuck at Hawkins High complaining about how life in Hawkins has been so shit without you and needed to get away, coming to see you would be the perfect getaway.

Eddie and you had always been close, so when you told your roomies that he was coming to stay they were okay with it, as long as he slept in your room. They didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night to get something and have a random guy on the couch, which was reasonable because they hadn't met him before. They were excited to finally meet your best friend and you planned to go out to the bars tonight after a very long week of midterms.

Eddie arrived late afternoon, you introduced him to your roommates and he settled in. "It's so sweet you have your own space, we can finally hang out without worrying about Wayne or your parents judging us" Eddie laughed while plopping on your double bed.

"Do you wanna shower before we head out?" You ask.

"Nah I did this morning, I'm okay." He tells you. " Ok I'm going to pop in, You can entertain yourself until I'm back" You give him a wink and leave him to his devices. Eddie scanned your new collage room, it reminded him of your old room at your parent's house. You had pictures of you and him framed along with other friends he didn't recognize. He was always a little nosey when it came to you, there weren't any boundaries in place when it came to privacy around Eddie. You had been friends since the 7th grade, growing up together in your awkward years really bonded the both of you.

You'd told Eddie earlier that you had gotten a new strain of pot from one of the guys you're friends with and that he could light up whenever. You'd left out the baggie and your grinder but Eddie left his bong at home and didn't see yours lying around so he searched for some rolling papers. Rifling through your bedside table is where he looked first. He shuffled through your hair ties, random articles, condoms...

Eddie had known you were no longer a virgin like he still was, he has had zero experience, not even a handjob. Needless to say, Eddie doesn’t get any…. Like ever. Poor thing tries his best but most of the girls he’s surrounded by are in high school and he wants nothing to do with them. He wants a grown woman. He really wants you if he is being honest but he never thinks that would happen in a million years.

He still was riffling deep in the drawer now, he felt something soft but firm, round and long. He picks it up to move it out of the way. He looks at what is your black vibrator. Why would she have a microphone? Eddie moved on quickly because he spots what he is looking for buried under all your crap.

Hours go by and you’re stumbling into your apartment laughing around 1:00am. You offered your room for Eddie to get ready for bed while you took the bathroom. Once you're finished you walk back into your room to see Eddie tucked into his side of the bed. "I meant to ask you earlier but I forgot because we got too high" He laughed. "Ask away" You crawled into your fresh sheets and snuggled into bed with Eddie. "Why do you have a microphone?" He asked. You look at him quizzically because you have no idea what he's talking about. "Are you sure that weed didn't alter your brain?" You laugh as your head hits the pillow. "What do you mean? I saw it" He laughs. "Dude I have no idea what you're talking about? Why would I have a microphone? I hate karaok- oof" Eddie cuts you off by leaning all his body weight over you to reach into your nightstand and pulls out your vibrator. You start laughing uncontrollably, partly because you're a bit embarrassed, and partly from the alcohol.

"What?" Eddie questions inspecting it, once more. you grab it from his hands and turn it on. The object comes to life and a low buzz fills the room. "Why is it buzzing?" Oh, your sweet innocent Eddie, "Ummmm think of it more like a massager..." you turn it off and place it back on the nightstand you turn back to Eddie and can see the wheels in his head turning but no gas. "Ugh, Eddie don't make me say it out loud" You bury your face in your hands and pillows not wanting to look at him when you say it. "I don't get it, you're going to have to spell it out for me, Ms.University" he nudges your arm with his elbow. "It's a vibrator Eddie, you know... like for sex"

The room was still dimly lit, enough for you to see Eddie's eyes go wide. "It’s… it’s a sex toy?" he reaches over you once again to grab it off the nightstand. “Eddie!” you shout then cover your mouth remembering the time of night.

“Give me that!” You try and grab it out of his hands. This whole situation was weird. You guys never spoke about sex, it just wasn’t that kind of friendship. Yes, you liked Eddie, you’ve been crushing on him for years but you would never act on it, or at least you don’t think you would? Like a child, Eddie reached his arm up over so you couldn’t get it “No come on I’ve never seen one before” he pouts. “Ok you’ve seen it now give it back!” You weren’t afraid to crawl over him to get it, you straddled his chest, enclosing him between your bare legs. Your tiny sleep shorts were barely covering your cunt that was practically pressed into Eddie’s face. “Ah ha!” You say victoriously grabbing it from Eddie’s grip. Eddie can feel the blood rush from his face and into his cock. He shifts and clears his throat, “Oh shit, sorry!” You hike your leg over him accident exposing your pussy even more to him. Eddie’s eyes don’t break from your core. You’re blissfully unaware you just flashed your best friend. “Sorry Ed’s didn’t realize” you joke. “Uh yeah, it’s fine” You see Eddie shifting under the covers. “So you always sleep without panties or is that just because I’m in your bed” Eddie asks. “Eddddddddddie oh my god” you burry your head in the pillows debating on sleeping on the couch at this point. “I love when you moan for me baby” Eddie laughs, you try and hurry yourself further into the bed but Eddie grabs your waist and pulls you into him. “You know babe, out of the two of us I should be the one mortified. I’m the twenty-year-old virgin not knowing what a sex toy looks like.” He grips into you tighter and you bury your face into his neck. The alcohol is slowly leaving your system but you still blame it for what happens next. “You don’t have to be” You timidly kiss into the hollow of where his neck and collarbone meet. “What are you-oh that feels good” Eddie sighs into your touch, his chest raging and falling at a quicker pace. “Will you let me take care of you Eddie?” You graze your hand lower down his bare chest, across his stomach down the the waistband of his boxers. “Yes,” he nods frantically.

You shuffle back over him so you’re once again straddling him. You look down at your best friend, taking in his features, he is so pretty. You lean in timidly to kiss his lips for the first time. His plush lips felt so soft when they connected to yours. It quickly heated up, you ground your hips into Eddie, you could feel his hard length pressing into your slit and you wiggled your hips on him. You hear a wine come from Eddie’s throat as you disconnect and start to kiss down from his neck to his happy trail. “I’ve been dying to know what’s under here for years” You graze your hand lightly tracing Eddie’s tented boxers. Eddie’s hips shoot up at the connection. “Eager aren’t we” you giggle slowly revealing his length. “Well you would be too if you’ve waited this long for you too” It doesn’t escape you that Eddie didn’t say “Wait for this,” he said he was waiting for you. You’re stomach flops, at his words and your eyes bulge out of your skull at the size of him. “You’ve been hiding that you have a horse penis from me this whole time?!” You don’t really give Eddie time to answer because you latch your mouth into his tip, not sure how much more you’ll be able to fit into your mouth.

Eddie is in heaven, he isn’t sure what karma he is getting but he knows he must have done something right to have your head between his legs at this very moment. It’s a feeling that he’s never felt before, the warmth of your mouth, the wetness of your lips mixed with the softness of your tongue was all-encompassing. You felt his hand rest on the back of your head, you looked up at him through your lashes, his face blissed out. Your core was dripping already at the feeling of Eddie in your mouth. The way you were making him feel good was only making you wetter. You reached up to cup his hand on your head, coxing him to push you down. “Oh fuck baby, please” he whimpered. You took in more of him opening your throat for him. You bobbed your head up and down his shaft while using the other hand to move in tandem. You had Eddie whimpering “Oh my god just like that! Fuck you’re taking me so well” For someone with no experience he sure wasn’t shy about praising you. It only made you want to pleasure him more. You were the first one to ever touch him like this. You were the first one to ever make him feel this euphoric.

“Fuck I’m not going to last long fuckfuckfuck” You were enjoying yourself too much that you didn’t care about what Eddie was telling you, you wanted him to cum, he deserved to cum. “Wait wait I wanna…shit, I want you to be my first” he pushed you off him. “Really?” You asked. “Yea… I mean.. if you wanna?” he pants. “I do Ed’s” but I gotta get myself ready, will you help me? Eddie nods enthusiastically as you lay beside him and he climbs on top of you.

You walked him through what to do, he was a quick learner. He kissed you down your neck like you did to him earlier. He touched you over your shirt at first, a bit shy. You told him he could touch you, and begged him to touch you as you lifted the big sleep shirt over your head. Eddie’s hands immediately latched on to your breasts kneeling them like stress balls. “Softer please, you’re pinching me” You place your hands on the backs of his to guide him. You tell him that you like it when your nipples are touched. He bowed his head lower, and tenderly he kissed the swell of your breast “Is this ok?” He asks “Yes Eddie, more of that” he brought his warm mouth around your perked nipple. “Oh yes,” you arched your back making your breast squish into Eddie’s nose. Your head spun as he hummed into you, the vibration jolting to your core. “I uh, don’t know what to do with my hands.” He admitted. You took his right hand in yours and guided it past your waistband and overtop of your mound. “Feel me Eddie I’ll tell you what feels good” Eddie’s thick fingers explored your pussy lips, slipping his fingers through your folds he grazes your clit and you jerk at the touch.

One thing about Eddie is that he is very receptive. He does it again to test the waters “oh fuck” you moan. “You like that baby” his confidence was showing “Yes Eddie, fuck keep going” “So this is what that little toy is for? This spot right here?” You nodded your head not able to speak. Why was he so good at this? “Can I try?” He sheepishly asks you. “Yes, Eddie please” he reaches over to get the vibrator you had left resting on the bed. “Hold down on the button to turn it on” “Which one there are three? Why are there three?” He turns it finding the buttons. “The bottom one, the others are to change the pattern and the speed” You point to the power button. “Oh,” Eddie smirks. “Ok playboy let’s not get ahead of ourselves, We will start on level one” The low buzzing filled the room once again. “I should take off my shorts…” you awkwardly suggested. You hook your fingers into the waistband and wiggle your hips up and out. “Ok so, just put it where you put your fingers before” you guide him by the wrist. The vibrator makes contact with your swollen clit. “Oh god yes!” You arch your back in pleasure. The feeling of the buzzing on your clit shot waves of euphoria through you. Eddie couldn’t wipe the Cheshire Cat smile off of his face. Having you at his mercy could have him busting a nut here and now.

Eddie kissed you while holding down the vibrator like his life depended on it. You were starting to get squirmy, your hips gyrated into him “More Eddie, you moaned into his mouth. “What do you want?” He asks “Your fingers, please” you wine. He stops kissing you, you can see the nervous look in his eyes. It’s okay Eddie you won’t hurt me.” You brush a piece of hair behind his ear. A shaky hand grazed your slick folds and pushed up slowly and back out again, he repeated that until you showed him what to do next. “That’s it Eds” you sighed into his mouth. “Now go like this” You wiggled your index and middle finger in a come hither motion. The coil in your lower stomach was getting tighter with each pump of his fingers you were being wound up until it snapped, Eddie feels your walls clench down in him and the thought of you doing that with his cock inside you only got him even more excited. “Oh fuck yes Eddie!” You cried out with pleasure. Your heavy breaths and the low buzz of the vibrations filled the room. “Woah” Edd breaks the silence, “It’s-too much Eds” You push his hand away that was still holding the toy to your sensitive clit. “oh shit sorry” he throws it to the side of the bed and captures your lips into another kiss.

You break the kiss to reach over to the nightstand and grab your condoms. “Holly shit this is really happening,” Eddie says under his breath but you hear him. “If you still want to yeah” You sit up on your knees and tell Eddie to get on his back. “I’ll be on top to start you off ok, Then if you want to switch let me know.” He nods his head like a kid who was asked if they wanted their favourite ice cream. You push Eddie’s shoulder back so he is propped up just a little on the pillows you straddle him again getting yourself situated. “You wanna put it on or do you want me to?” You raise your brows at him. “I’ll uh-I’ll do it” he clears his throat. You pass him the blue foiled pack and he expertly slips it over himself. “You practice this before?” You giggle, he tells you to shut up and you raise up to your knees you grip his solid length in your hand.

You slowly sink down onto him, and Eddie lets out a guttural moan. You cup a hand over his mouth, you don’t want to wake up your roomies. “Shhhhhhh” you sink down slowly, the way he is stretching you out makes you feel so full. You finally make it all the way to the hilt. “You okay” you ask Eddie. That was a silly question, of course, he is okay. You start by grinding your hips releasing your hand from his mouth. “Yea, more than ok babe” You started to bounce on his cock, the way he was stretching you felt otherworldly. “Fuck that’s it, so good f’me” he grits out. He really had confidence for someone’s first time, but that was because he was with you. “Fuck Eddie you’re so big” You let your head fall back. The sight in front of Eddie only brought him closer to the brink. Your tight hot cunt swallowing him, your tits bouncing in his face, he was so close. Eddie remembered what you said about your nipples being sensitive, he leans forward and latches on. Your eyes roll back in your head at the sensation. The room is filled with the sound of pants and skin slapping skin. “Yes! Eddie yes yes yes” You grab the back of his head and rub on his hair. He lets out a moan, so you do it again. Eddie loves it when you tug on his locks. “Fuck baby I’m not gonna last much longer.” He tilts his head up to kiss you, he slips his tongue in your mouth.

You are all-encompassed by Eddie, no one else on earth matters but him in this moment. You let out a small yelp when Eddie unexpectedly flips you on your back. He was feral, he never had felt this before In his life he had to hold on a bit longer, needing to savour this feeling forever. The new position forced his cock to hit your walls at a better angle. He bends your legs so they are by your ears. The look in his eyes has you swimming, he is consumed by you, and he watches his cock disappear in and out of your walls. “Fuck Eddie I’m close, touch me please” Eddie didn’t think twice about grabbing the vibrator. The memory of your velvety walls clench his fingers and drove him to make sure you were the first to cum. He needed you to cum on his cock like he needs air in his lungs. Eddie hammered into you at a pace much faster than you were capable of while riding him. The tingling of the vibrations shook through your core, in less than a minute you were cumming on his cock. You open your mouth to scream with pleasure but nothing comes out, your body shakes with pleasure as your second orgasm consumes you. The second you clenched down on Eddie he was cumming with you. An animalistic groan leaves Eddie’s throat as his hot ropes of cum spill into the condom.

Eddie collapses onto you with a breathy laugh. “Oh my god why did I wait so long to do this” he giggled into the crook of your neck. “Because you never made a move!” You joke back. Eddie pecks your face with a million and one kisses. “Fuck, sweetheart can we do that again?” He rests his head on your chest, looking at you with those baby cow eyes. He grabs your hand and brings it to his chin. “Sure Eds we can do that as many times as you want” Eddie didn’t give you a chance to to recover before he pounced on you for round two….

Master list

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rv3rblog · 8 months

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hey champ you up for writing a gaz x omega male reader when they were teens? not asking for smut (as kids shouldn’t have sex), but just some cute stuff between the two when they were like high schoolers or something, even as still just friends. perhaps they just presented and the reader just asks gaz to sent some stuff for him , idk how your abo things work

sorry for wasting your time and thanks for your attention

omg no u r not wasting my time !! i have so many thoughts abt alpha!gaz u dnt understood. dnt hesitate to make requests !!

alpha!gaz x omega m!reader

warnings: abo rambling and military inaccuracies

word count: 1k

i want to say that you presented first between the two of you. i think that presenting is like another form of puberty, so you’re around 14/15 when it happens.

when first presenting i think you only develop your scent/mating glands and your body develops the same way it does during puberty. another thing is hormones and instincts.

when you first present you build a nest, your first couple of heats aren’t sexual but instead filled with the need to be surrounded by the scents of your pack/family. you build a nest with some article of clothings of your family but it feels wrong, incomplete. it confuses you so bad until your mom chuckles a little and asks if you perhaps, want something of kyle and you do.

you text kyle, still unpresented and ask him to come over with something of his for your nest.

he comes over so fast because he can basically feel how distressed you are. he comes with a couple used shirts and he even offers to scent you (even though he hasn’t presented yet)

kyle presents a couple weeks after you, 2/3 weeks to be exact.

alpha ruts, like an omega’s heat isnt sexual at first but instinctual. he’s more possessive with his things (and you) as well as always butting heads with other alpha’s who want to court you but he drives them away.

“he’s my omega, not yours. fuck off.”

you of course, don’t notice. a little too overwhelmed with being able to smell everyones scent because for the first three months of presenting y’all aren’t allowed to wear scent blockers (patches).

because the ruts and heats aren’t sexual, teens are required to still go to school because they aren’t physically hindered. so, imagine a bunch of teens.. basically on steroids bc of their hormones.

kyle, who is extremely possessive over you, scents you constantly, always nuzzling against your scent gland and you do the same to him.

you both have a crush on each other it drives everyone around you guys insane, im so serious rn.

like i said in the first alpha!gaz post, you guys are toeing the line between just friends and courting.

he’s constantly giving you gifts, scenting you, around you like a guard dog up until the point he leaves for basic training.

always calling you his pretty boy too.

kyle nuzzles against your scent gland as soon as he sees you. his lips against your neck as he continues to scent you. he whispers against your forehead, calling you his, his pretty boy, his sweet omega.

and you’re as equally possessive. one day you overhear another omega talking about wanting to give kyle a gift to see if he’d be open to courting and you snarl at them. it catches both of you off guard and you get flustered and walk away.

kyle can sense your mood dropped, your scent not as sweet but more sour. he nuzzles against your head, whispering and asking what’s wrong and you confess that a classmate wants to court him and that it upset you.

(which sounded silly to you as soon as you said it)

kyle smiled softly, now knowing that you were just as possessive over him the same way he was over you. he scents you and whispers against your head.

“don’t worry darlin’ no one can take me from you. ‘m yours and only yours.”

never really hits you that he means it.

also, he never calls you by your name. even when yall where just kids it was always some variation of a petname.

sometimes, the two of you stay on the phone at night.

you’re whispering as you hold the phone against your ear, curled up in your nest. somehow, kyle can tell something is bothering you even through the phone.

“what’s the matter pretty boy?”

you huff out a breath and nuzzle deeper into your covers.

“come on pretty, i won’t judge you.”

you mumble it against your blanket and he tilts his head and asks you to repeat yourself.

“…my nest doesn’t smell like you.”

and like, realistically it should smell like him. especially since you always smell like him but for some reason it doesn’t and it upsets you.

he chuckles a little and smiles sweetly, “i can give you another shirt pretty boy, would that work?”

and yeah, he’s like really cocky about it. enjoys seeing that you smell like him even though he hasn’t personally scented you yet.

this man is always calling you his. i know i said it before but his personal favorite things to call you?

“pretty boy” “sweet omega” “pretty omega” “darling” and the rare (very rare one he reserves for your heats) “baby boy” (or when he extremely possessive)

now, moving on to when he enlists? bro you are so fucking devestated. your omega screaming at you that your alpha is leaving you :( your scent sour whenever kyle brings it up :(

and it upsets him so bad to see you upset

“what’s wrong daring? talk to me.”

but the things is, you don’t. you’re a little too stubborn to admit that you’re gonna miss him and your little fantasy. the thing is he already knows.

“i’m gonna be fine. i promise.”

he scents you deply before he leaves the first time. nuzzles against your scent glands, gives you his bedsheets and shirts he wore recently.

you add the bedsheets to your nest. when he leaves you don’t leave your nest for a couple days.

he calls you when he can.

“i miss my pretty boy.” he whispers against the phone. “i miss you a lot, my baby boy.”

(he’s pouting as he talks to you)

when he comes back from basic training and spends a while with his family he bee lines to you. everyone around thinks you two are courting and he doesn’t correct them.

“my pretty boy, missed you a lot.” as he scents you.

he can smell your scent sweeten as he scents you and it drives him insane. playfully nips at your neck like when yall were kids.

overall, before officially courting you two drove everyone insane bc yall r so in love w one another and were already basically courting. like everyone at ur school knew better than to try to court either of you bc yall wld snarl at them or growl !! love sick teens who just presented <3

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mimaniniyum · 4 days

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Tasty (S) (A)

Cw:basketball player!winwin x bádminton player!reader,oral sex,slightly rough sex mainly soft,lots of I love u’s,Small argument,makeup sex,lovey-dovey shit,back scratching,kick back era sicheng 😵‍💫

Based off this from twt/X :link (NSFW)

A/N: yum yum (im abt to write an nct 127 angst fic after this)

WC: 800-ish

The start to your day was already shit but if badminton practice wasn’t worse you wouldn’t know what was your coach yelled at you for being a minute late and also missing multiple times as you got back home you dropped your practice bag and flopped down on the couch in your shared apartment with your boyfriend Sicheng, he currently wasn’t home since he had basketball practice until 7 so you texted him and dropped your phone down on the couch.As you now just lay there you being to tear up trying to cry but that was a futile attempt as you started to heave tears fall down your face but you quickly wiped your tears hearing the door unlock you see sicheng enter clearly distraught and angry as you bid your hellos to him he ignores you and walks off to the room slamming the door and locking it.You get up and walk to the room door to ask if hes okay as you do all you hear him say from the other side is a annoyed “go away” as you walk back to the living room you sit there sad knowing your one source of comfort is upset but you surpass this and grab the remote to turn on the tv you flip through numerous channels as sicheng exits the room with new clothes dawning a white T-shirt and basketball shorts he glances at you still pretty upset and looks back at the tv ypu turn to him and say hi again but he continues to ignore you and all you say is “Why are you ignoring me?” And that only seemed to make him more angry he looked to you absolutely livid only saying “Just shut the fuck up” as you paused you say “I just asked why you upset I wasn’t trying to make you mad” sounding sadder then ever “Well you did,great now im in an even worse mood” he says with such annoyance and distain in his voice you look away from him and down at the floor you feel yourself tear up again trying to hide your tears from him in hopes that he wont get more upset you curl up on the couch.you glance over at him again now he looks somewhat more calm but as if he feels bad for what he said to you.you wipe your tears but they still fall as you sniffle letting out a small sob,He looks at you turning his neck fast and he quickly cups you cheek in his hand looking at you sorrily “No baby im sorry I didn’t mean to get mad at you like that” no completely sobbing and covering your eyes in your palms wiping off your eyes you look back at him eyes slightly red as you shakily say “no its my fault I shouldn’t have pressed you like that” as he quiets you he softly smiles asking about why your sad and you explain everything to him he kisses your cheek and holds you telling you its okay and he ask if there is anything he can do to make up to you and you hesitantly say you want him as he quickly understands what you mean he lifts you up from the couch and carries you to the room he plops you on the bed and starts to kiss you asks if its okay.

to remove your skort and you nod as you remove your shirt leave you only in your underwear and bra as get up to remove those two articles of clothing he begins to remove his cloths as both of you are now naked he lifts up for legs and holds them back as he faces your cunt he licks your clit you whine in pleasure he continues to eat you out for a couple of minutes you start to moan in upmost pleasure you begin to spew out praise “Fuck chengie im gonna cum” as he lifts his face from your cunt you whine at the loss of stimulation sicheng get up from his position on the bed and drags to the end of the bed as he places your legs around his waist,you wrap your arms around his neck he lifts you up from the bed and inserts his cock into your cunt as he bounces you on his cock hard and fast until you tell him to slow down a little.

and he listens to you as he thrusts into you lovingly you began to scratch his back with your nails due to the pleasure it makes you feel warm inside as you start to random say “I love you” in between moans as he continued to thrust up into your for a few minutes all he could say was “I love you” “your made for me” “your the best thing that could happen to me” “ your my love” “I love you babe” as you moaned in pleasure

As his thrust became sloppy,he cums inside of you filling you up with his cum

As you thank him for pleasing you he replies with “Anything for you baby”

As both of you came at the same sichengs thrust became sloppy as he came to a stop. You both breathe heavily as you drop down to the bed with sichengs cock still inside of you he leaned down to kiss you again.

#dividers by benkeibear #winwin smut #wayv smut #nct smut

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iteratedextras · 1 month

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[ tumblr user ]

part of the subculture cycle is things becoming uncool bc they're merchandised in dumb ways - ruth bader ginsburg action figures, hot topic pronoun pins etc - but a lot of it is that ppl r v loudly stupid abt it. like how much of the Gender Ideology backlash is abt chris-chan, how much of the collapse of feminism was abt the decade of incredibly idiotic feministclickbait takes we were supposed to pretend everyone else cared abt etc. like the current rising faction is jack thompson ass social conservatism specifically because they're too illiterate to open their mouths online, and most likely they'll implode when ppl learn to associate them w the sabrina rubin erdely or andrea long chu of integralism writing dumbass articles abt banning contraception and bare ankles on TV

Somewhere out there, the first true master of sixth-generation warfare was just born, and will figure out how to prevent their clique from losing their cultural power to political-emotional word meaning entropy through a form of gatekeeping we can't even imagine, keeping their movement on top right up until their death.

#politics #half shtpost

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jyvnho · 2 years

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hiii this is my 1st time requesting smth svt related, but uh, could u pls do svt reacting to u clinging/grabbing their shirt while ur asleep and they're abt to get off the bed? its apparently habit of mine to cling onto the hem of the shirt of the person beside me when i feel them about to get up. i thought it'd be a cute one ^^ (i love ur writing sm btw they're v cute) [ can i be 🎨 anon? ]

⌕ ⋮ seventeen's reaction to their s/o grabbing onto them while they're asleep

a/n : yup you can be! i look forward to interacting with you!

✘ seungcheol

when he feels your hand grab at his shirt, seungcheol just gives up for a few minutes and lets you keep him there for an extra few minutes

✘ jeonghan

even though you're still asleep, jeonghan teases you as if you can hear him — if you look particularly cute, he may take a photo of you to send to you later in the day to tease you

✘ joshua

joshua tries his best to be gentle, but he tries to get your hand off of his shirt — when he has places to be, he really tries to stick to the time frame (he'll smother you in cuddles later in apologies thought)

✘ jun

this boy panics — he wants to stay with you and give in to the cuddles... but he was told not to be late (in his fit of panic he ends up waking you up)

✘ hoshi

he thinks he's being quiet about it, but he's actually the complete opposite — hoshi is cooing and awing at you and the grip you have on him (he tries to deny it)

✘ wonwoo

wonwoo doesn't let himself be overly soft too often (unless he's super tired after a long day at the company) but seeing you deep in your sleep still clinging onto him makes his heart palpitate

✘ woozi

he lets himself take in the sight of you for a few moments, his fingers caressing your jaw and running over your cheekbones — if you wake in these moments, expect woozi to pretend nothing happened

✘ seokmin

similar to woozi but less bashful about it, seokmin openly falls back into your embrace and just lays with you for an extra couple of minutes before he has to leave

✘ mingyu

if you're gripping onto an article of clothing, mingyu will pry your hand off and slip his own into yours — he wants that skin to skin contact just before he leaves (he presses several kisses to the back of your hand as well)

✘ minghao

minghao will take a photo of you — with your hand in frame, grabbing onto his sleep shirt, minghao takes one of the cutest photos of you being attached to him

✘ seungkwan

to anyone else, it looks like he's cringing in annoyance, but in reality, he is cringing at how overly in love he is with you (mans is hearing wedding bells at that moment)

✘ vernon

i'm sorry but vernon is so awkward when this happens — he does know if it would be wrong of him to shrug out of your grip or if he legally has to stay there as to not wake you up

✘ dino

will take this moment and run with it — if seungcheol gets mad at him for being late... "y/n was holding onto me when they were sleeping — you can't leave when that happens"

taglist — open

@sk4tersoobin // @ja4hyvn // @one16core // @blaqpinksthetic // @kyungm1ns // @skepvids // @sunoo-bby // @rasparagus

#( . . . 🎨 anon )#seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen reactions #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt reactions #kpop x reader #kpop imagine #kpop reactions

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caswlw · 27 days

Note

thoughts on new sneak peaks for tonight 👀👀👀

i have SO many things to say omg

firstly, i think the writing in them is wild. buck’s hesitance every time he says something to tommy (and even more when he sees tommy and eddie interact), the way that he keeps pushing down his feelings to be like “yeah friends are good, always good to have more friends”, THE HALF NAKED MEN LINE??, the line about just Clicking with someone and buck saying he knows that exactly… i could go on 🤧 i think the editing is a bit stiff in the tommy/buck interaction and that’s not helping what ppl are saying abt their chemistry, but the bachelor sneak peek seems to have fun directing choices behind it so !! a mixed bag on those two parts

i’m having my pre ep delusions fluctuate tho. after the us mag article i was So Sure abt bi buck, then we get an article with friendship inserted in every single line, and then i actually see the clips and im shifting between saying that there’s def a story there or idk maybe the writers’ and oliver’s idea of buck getting off his hamster wheel is just branching out into new hobbies/friendships and thats the self reflection they mean- not what we all want it to be. but after that thought i go back to the us mag article and im sure again that it IS what we all want it to be.

i think regardless the episode is going to be a banger bc it’s about buck, ravi is in it (YAY), and an ep w a buddie focused part will always do numbers in the fandom. but im very optimistic in ways i wasn’t before this onslaught of news!!! so we’ll have to see :)

#i feel like all i do is ramble but i hope my point came across well enough #i’m optimistic tho is the main takeaway #911 spoilers #911 abc #ask :)#anon

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rollercoasterwords · 11 months

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like. i still wouldn't want someone to copy and paste my fics into a large language model like chatgpt but it's not so much bc i'm worried abt my work being stolen (seems unlikely that an LLM would spit back out my exact words considering how it works, and even if it did, i doubt any individual would be able to like. publish and profit from those words, based on the nebulous status of copyright law when it comes to LLMs like chatgpt. and having my words fed into the LLM really isn't going to make much of a difference when it comes to corporations profiting off the tool in the first place; plus in instances of corporate exploitation i think there are more effective ways to organize than like...arguing for strengthened ip laws or trying to like make ip laws for fanfiction spaces). it's more because i'm wary of what that says about how a person is like...approaching my fic specifically + fanfiction more broadly. in two main ways:

1. i think it is just. basic respect to check with a writer before u take their work off ao3(or whatever fanfic-specific place it's been shared) and put it somewhere else. and like, this applies to lots of things outside chatgpt--reposting fics to other sites, posting them on goodreads/storygraph, printing + binding fics, etc. if u are treating fanfic writers as people who u are in community with, who are generously sharing a gift with u, then it seems like basic kindness to check in and see if they're alright with u taking that fic outside the space it was posted to do something else with it.

with chatgpt and similar LLMs specifically, a lot of people are wary because there's still so much unsettled in regards to how copyright laws might shake out, and most people (myself included) are unsure of how/whether our writing/data might be stored and used by these corporations that own the LLMs. i don't think ai itself is something that should be mythologized as like ontologically evil technology, but anytime a corporation is introducing us to new tech like this we need to be wary of where it's coming from and how it could be used--people have already pointed out a lot of very serious issues with the way this technology is being developed and how it could/likely will be/already is being used exploitatively--which, again, is more a matter of organizing against corporations than railing against ai tech itself, but is still a valid reason for writers (again, myself included) to be wary of having their work fed to LLMs without permission.

and like. sure, u don't have to care abt writers' feelings + boundaries and can just take their stories and do whatever u want with them. but to me that says u aren't treating fanfic as a community space, but rather a content farm in which fics are products that u are entitled to do whatever u want with. and i just think that's shitty! and if that's how ur treating fanfic then i'd rather not have u reading my fic at all

2. i honestly think it's a strange way to engage w storytelling by treating endings this way. like. story endings are usually v important + intentional, and can completely change the entire tone, themes, messages, etc of a story. i understand going to the writer and asking them abt what they had in mind for the story ending if ur looking for closure, and i understand imagining ur own story ending or even writing ur own ending to an unfinished story. what i don't understand is plugging a story into chatgpt and having it spit an ending out for u.

and like. maybe this is bc we've all been calling these LLMs ai, which evokes an impression of like. a sentient robot creating something. but that's not what these programs do! the first article i linked explains how they actually work really well, but essentially--chatgpt and similar LLMs cannot create new ideas. they can't take a story and synthesize its themes or pick apart its tone to then come up with an original idea for an ending. at the same time, they aren't just plagiarism machines that are ripping text directly from other writers and spitting it back out.

instead (to my understanding), what they're doing is compressing vast amounts of information by running statisical analyses to just save the most common trends, patterns, recurring info, etc, and then plugging that in to fill the gaps. it looks like it's writing something new, but it's essentially just paraphrasing already-existing information pulled from the internet. so i'd imagine that if u fed an ai a fic and said "write an ending," the ai would basically compare the fic to whatever similar stories it has saved and then spit out an ending that is most commonly found on the internet for that type of story. [not an expert here tho--this is just my best guess based on the bit of research i've done].

my point is--you won't be getting a new ending inspired directly by the story u put in. you'll be getting a paraphrased version of the most commonly recurring type of ending for similar stories on the web. and i just....don't see how that would be satisfying in any way. it seems, again, like a way in which someone would be approaching fic like a product, something that needs to be finished + complete bc ur entitled to it, rather than viewing fic as a piece of art with its own unique themes, message, and story that can't just be plugged into a one-size-fits-most ending generator. and like, i'm trying to avoid mysticizing writing as some sort of ethereal art form that would be blasphemously degraded by having someone plug in a shitty ending paraphrased from a conglomeration of various similar stories--i don't think someone creating a shitty ending for a story is like. a horrible evil thing. but i can understand where the satisfaction is coming from if you're writing your own shitty ending, where you get to come up with where u think the story would go + where u get to synthesize the themes u picked up on etc. but ai isn't even doing that--so again, i don't understand where the satisfaction is coming from aside from just going "well every story i read needs to be finished," which. makes me wary bc it just feels like a completely different way to approach stories and storytelling than i would hope to find in fanfic spaces, one that treats fic less as a creative place to explore and more as a transactional space where u are entitled to products.

anyway. feel like my thoughts + feelings abt ai keep changing the more i learn abt it + i'm sure they could change again, but rn my impression of this whole situation is like. i find the fact that some people are plugging fics into LLMs less concerning re: ip + ownership rights, and i don't think it's useful to exaggerate or mythologize abt what ai actually does (i think even calling it ai has kind of misled a lot of people, myself included). what concerns me more is that plugging fics into LLMs to write endings feels symptomatic of a broader culture in which people treat fanfic as an informal profit economy in which fics are product or content that a consumer-audience is entitled to, and i think that sort of approach leads to a whole plethora of other issues + makes fandom a more hostile space.

#hopefully this makes. sense #i am not a fan of most of the uses of ai/LLMs that i've seen #but i also am concerned that much of the backlash against it seems to be defaulting to this position of either #mysticizing writing in reactionary ways #and/or running into the arms of ip laws #which are a tool of capitalism and shouldn't be trusted any more than the corporations who profit from + exploit them!!#definitely feel like there are issues w plugging fics into LLMs without permission and would not want anyone to do that w my writing #but. moreso bc i don't want my writing being treated like content for consumption y’know #anyway the articles i linked esp the first and third r really good...highly encourage reading them #ranting and raving #txt

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