#Sometimes old men on the internet are cool

[pansyfemme]

jude + he/him + nineteen

FTM femfag colorfreak and general rainbow lover. I’m a sophomore in art school, a lover of obscure indie pop, and a guy who makes transgender penis jokes on the internet. Stay weird with it always, yknow?

I’m veryyyyyy t4t towards other trans guys butch, fem, femme, and masc alike and this is 90% of my content fair warning.

Art: @fagboyfriend

Twee/Indie Pop blog : @upforabit

dm for nsfw blog

selfies are under: #Jude pansyfem irl

putting a short faq under cut bc. i get the same questions a lot. check it before you ask about my icon or header or anything

faq:

How long have you been on T/How do you have a beard at 19? I came out at 12 years old, started blockers at 14 and HRT later that same year, and had top surgery at 17, making me 5 years on t and 2.5 years post op.

What show/game/comic is your icon from? its a cropped version of the album cover of the 1999 album “shake the pounce” by vancouver based twee pop band Gaze. It’s a favorite album of mine as well as just a cool little guy i like a lot

Where is your header from? a painting i did in gouache a year or two ago and thought would make a nifty header.

Oh come on, you’re not unboyfriendable! “unboyfriendable” has been my title for a long time now on account of it being a lyric from a song that means a lot to me, “all my little words” by the magnetic fields. i promise i am very fuckable im just really into sad music sometimes

How do I refer to you? Actually, i don't get this question a lot, and I shouldn't, since this info is both in my pinned above and in my bio. But a lot of people still seem awful confused. I am male. FTM. I use He/Him pronouns and masculine terms with the exception of compliments like 'pretty' and all that. I am not nonbinary, and do not like to be referred to gender neutrally. I simply am a trans man who enjoys gender non conformity and cross-dressing.

Are you Bi or Gay? this world is full of beauty. im queer. take that how you will. I generally consider myself open to any gender as long as they’re trans, (i am strictly t4t.) but still identify pretty strongly with being a queer guy in the way that i do like other men.

What style are you wearing/where do you get your clothes? I started by wearing my personal version of the japanese fashion subculture Decora Kei. My decora became a bit messy and grungy, and while i do still identify as a decora boy and wear full coords from time to time, i consider myself now someone who enjoys colorful fashion and takes influence from 90s harajuku fashion, punk subcultures, drag and other campy fashion. I shop a variety of places, but a lot of my stuff is from Kei Collective or Candy Trap.

What is Twee/Do you Make Music? Twee is a music genre I developed a special interest in a few years back. It's a style of indie pop that originated after the UK rise of the famous c86 compilation tape in the late eighties, and was developed with a focus on low-fidelity, diy sound combined with upbeat, bubblegum-y pop sentiments and a naive, childlike outlook. It's both cute and somewhat rough around the edges. I do not make music, and don’t hold any musical skill. I’m just a major fan.

Do you take commissions? you may direct all art related questions to my art blog inbox, but for the time being, please just dm me for commission info. I take them on a case by case basis currently, im a full time student and have a lot on my plate. I’ll let you know my availability and pricing upon request, but i generally prefer the ‘you tell me your vision, i give you a quote and you tell me if that works for you’ model of pricing because each peice is considered its own thing in my mind. Pricing for ‘full body’ or ‘lineart’ doesnt work for me beacause the media and subject doesn’t really dictate how much time or effort a peice will take for me.

Can you boost/reblog this post for me? This is a tough answer, i know, but if we are not mutuals, or I do not know you, I cannot do that for you. My reasoning being that I have been baited by very similar asks in the past that turned out to be scams, and I do not want to take the risk of spreading misinformation or scams now that I have a much larger following. I do my best to spread stuff that ends up on my dash and/or I can factcheck, but if I do not have that, I will be wary, considering my past interactions.

Can we be friends/Can I DM you? Anyone is welcome to send me a message of any type at any time, unless I have those settings changed, in which case i likely have it off short term, because i experience fairly regular transphobic harassment and i find it the best way to protect myself. However, just understand that I am a stranger on the internet. I don't always want to continue every conversation, and I'm not online all the time. I have all push notifications for tumblr turned off, including asks and dms, because it's much better for my mental health to be able to opt out of tumblr the moment I close the app. So, if i don't respond, i'm probably just doing something else or didn't see your message. And, if you come in full force flirtatiously, i appriciate it greatly and i'm sure i'll let you know, but i'm pretty shy one on one. Additionally, i may not respond if you're a blank blog, way older or younger than me, or honestly.. anything that makes me uncomfortable. so like. all of these are pretty basic rules but, people don't follow them so i must clarify.

Do you have a DNI? I haven't in a long time, due to it being pretty frequently ignored and my following count growing to the point i can't really control that anymore. I can and will block people, but i feel my opinions are made fairly clear through what I post here.

[pansear-doodles]

-> Pansear ; any pronoun ; genderfluid bisexual (taken) ; Neurodivergent ; 21 ; April 9 ; Local Filipino

-> GAD and MDD (Please be patient with me, thank you)

-> If I blocked you(usually because you blocked me first or because I thought your account was a bot) and you wish to be unblocked, please lmk on an alternate account or friend.

Welcome to my blog. There's lots of important stuff under keep reading. So if you care and have the time, do read.

-> Hello. I'm Pansear. I have done stupid shit but also cool shit, and stupid cool shit. My stupid shit don't mean I'm being malicious- I think most of the time I was just silly or very emotional about it. I really like to draw, play specific video games, and enjoy animated content like movies and cartoons. I think animals are cool, plants are cool, sharks and aquatic creatures are cool, and for some reason I really like vending machines (I think they are exciting). I like to make food and eat them, and even draw them. I like video game music and music with guitars and bass in them. I really like plushies and collect those of my favorite characters.

-> Oh and speaking of Favorite characters... They're my blorbos alright and sometimes I accidentally project onto them. These blorbos include: Werewolf Cookie (Cookie Run), Legoshi (Beastars; look I even share birthdays with him!), Nick Wilde (Zootopia), Plague Knight (Shovel Knight), Artificer and Hunter (Rain World), Ichimatsu Matsuno (Osomatsu-san), Foxy the Pirate (FNAF), Pinkie Pie (MLP), Spamton (Deltarune), and a bunch of goth/edgy backstory and generally edgy/tired old men from Pokemon like Nanu and Larry. I could go on more but just know that if the character looks like they deserve some sort of hug, 90% of the time they're likely my most favorite character.

-> A troubled person trying to get by in college. Currently seeking therapy and found support with many lovely individuals (my friends!) and making some form of progress to fix myself. My primary form of coping is drawing and making stories where the characters fight similar struggles as mine (They are essentially my Earthbound Flying Men). This is one of the reasons why I make a lot of art and draw fast- It is not to chug out content- I just draw fast and a lot. Well... I used to draw fast, but with the advice of many, I'm taking it easy.

-> I also like to play video games and listen to music repeatedly until I get bored to help cheer me up. I do not want to go into detail about my trauma and its details and progression shouldn't be everyone's priority to know. I'm here in the internet to have fun and maybe earn incentives along the way, and whenever I get tired, I dock out until I feel better.

-> I'm not looking for attention, especially those that spout negativity. Let me know of anything that concerns you and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want to hurt people, but I will bite if prompted or cornered. I apologize if my episodes do leak out and cause worries, and I apologize that I may go on manic, narcissistic and overzealous tangents at times. It may be hard to control my emotions, but it doesn't excuse it.

-> Most things I say are gender neutral and loose. Don't take everything too seriously. Sometimes my distinctions in art and portrayals are not clear to people so please browse with an open mind. I also might not know certain subjects for cultural and personal reasons, so if you wish to educate me on some manners, please do- I never mean anything malicious in my work. Feel free to request tags.

-> Everyone has the right to share and use my art anywhere as long as I am credited. (there are some exceptions to this such as using them for monetary purposes or using them for malicious intent)

-> For anyone who is willing to be patient, kind, and understanding of me, thank you. You make my journey less scary. I hope it isn't weird to say "I love you" platonically, and to a stranger nonetheless! I think, even on brief times, everyone deserves a form of appreciation, especially for taking the time to read all of this, haha. I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, and people who are mature and understanding of the such are to be treasured. I truly believe it is important to know that everyone here is only human, who all went through different experiences and learning journeys, and you are only human too.

🌈Links -> Commissions CLOSED -> Support me (Ko-fi) -> Support me (Patreon) -> ✨Patreon Supporters List✨ -> Linktree -> Carrd

🌈Content Resources -> Rain World Shipping Name Masterlist (semi-outdated) -> Rain World Art Archives -> Rain World Emotes F2U -> My First Artihunter Comic -> Rain World Anthro AU Series -> Follower Contract (funny)

~Common Blog Tags and their meanings~

#my art - A majority of art I made use this tag.

#gift - Stuff made for me and sometimes for other people. Sometimes the gift comes from the creation of it, so some posts can have that too if I find that criteria.

#my anthro au, #anthro au - My Rain World Anthro AU uses these tags. The former is the new one that specifies my au in particular. The older tag is mixed in with other anthro aus people have.

#oc - Occasional posts containing my very original stuff.

#thoughts - Posts that have my random rambles. Somewhat unimportant but my mind works like that. However, since my second personal blog, these posts will be less frequent.

#rw shipping, #shipping - As most of you know, I am a shipper and I actively participate in doing it. My blog is filled with shipping content and I'm very vocal about #artihunter . This is not the only thing I do though, but if you do not wish to see it, I would tag such posts as this so people can filter them. Please lmk if I forget to tag.

#vent - This and the self harm tags used to be prevalent in this blog. I realized that these are things that shouldn't be revealed so publicly, and in front of the potentially vulnerable. This MIGHT come in rarely, but I'm hoping that not anymore from here on out. I'm sorry to those who witnessed such tags.

Occasionally, this blog may tackle sensitive and more mature topics (which would be tagged as such). This does not mean this blog is completely full of that. If you have any issue with them or if you wish for me to tag them, please let me know!

Out of everything, thank you for supporting my content and acknowledging my humanity, sincerely.

I have more to say. If you are willing to hear it.

#pin #long

[unbizzarre]

BARRAYARAN COSTUME DESIGN

The process for costume design:

Had fun looking through a whole bunch of reference images to try to create a costume set that reflected the strong sense of tradition with midieval-esque holdovers from hand textiles that would have had to be the norm during barreyars period of isolation, while also accounting for the wealth of the current barreyaran aristocracy and their access to modern galactic trends and clothing. I also didn’t want the midieval influences to be generic-fantasy-vaguely-european-bulshit, so I also tried to find reference images with styles, patterns, and silhouettes that where somewhat reminiscent of the French, Russian, and Greek cultural heritage barnyard first settlers may have brought with them. That being said, it wouldn’t make sense for any of these traditional garments to have been preserved with 1-for-1 accuracy from there earth origins over the many centuries (cuz like, irl traditional dress in these countries is less and less common) so I didnt want to just copy exactly historical garments.

OH! And then I also had to make sure the men’s clothing also reflected the pseudo-military affectations which Bujold has mentioned in multiple books as being popular in menswear amongst the vor cast. (Ex: the formal riding boots, and the two swords carried at formal events, or less formally vor “town clowns” also wearing casual clothing reminiscent of a military cut.) but! In order to do this, I had to think of both what would have been military uniforms both in isolation-barrayar and modern barrayar, and which aspects of each set of military uniforms would be incorporated into modern men’s fashion. Would any women’s clothing also reflect this warrior trend?

Finally, since all of this costume design was brainstorming for the dinner party scene, I wanted to make sure that the clothes matched the personalities of the people wearing them. Like aunt Alice and Professors Vorthis are both middle aged Vor-caste women, but will have vastly contrasting style. Alice being alice, her clothing will likely be both perfect for the occasion while also a sleek and elegant combination of the leading barreyaran fashions, while also giving a nod to traditional barreyaran costume at times as she is a representative of both the state and her old-vor house. The professora on the other hand, will probably opt for something comfortable and cozy, while not especially showy, as she is more concerned with her studies and gardens and is not super involved in the Vorbarra-sultana social scene.

Some of the reference images I used:

And many many sooooo many more. So much borrowed creativity from all over the internet I feel bad I can’t more accurately site all my sources 😞

Also some random cool aesthetic modern shit that I thought had fun sci fi vibes as well as some *sigh* generic-euro fantasy clothing cuz sometimes you need to be a little basic.

Also a lot of cool art by artists I love that is just dope costume design and totally all their work. Idk the names of a lot of them cuz I’m not really active on social media and only really see the images amidst thousands of others in my Pinterest hoard but I always recognize the artsyles and creativity and wind up saving them to reference art boards 🙈

Some that I do remember and love a lot are cy-lindric, Juliette, and Celia Lowenthall

#barrayar #barrayaran clothing #lois mcmaster bujold #fanart #vorkosigan #vorkosigan fanart #scifiart #costume design #character design #concept art #vorkosigan saga #barrayaran fashion #barreyaran clothes

[feraliminal]

Titan TVman and Beowulf are Basically the Same Character: Why Skibidi Toilet Is Folklore

It’s been a long time since I’ve touched the hellsite (I used to doodle and write dirty fic), but I’m fascinated by the silly toilet men videos, their popularity, and the confusion about their popularity. And because I’m a huge nerd and always want to know why people do things, I wrote something. It’s too long to leave on my Notes app and forget about, and I’m also not letting skibidi toilets anywhere near my serious blog. So I actually came back to Tumblr for this.

(Also the first stupid doodle I’ve done in forever, here’s the original meme.)

Toilet humour is obviously a huge part of why it’s so popular, and imho it’s a poop joke that got bigger than the creator intended it to. Toilets are endlessly amusing, particularly for kids, because learning to manage your waste is essential to being a civilised person but something that no one really wants to do. Some of the first conflicts between kids and their parents are often around cleanliness and potty training, and as we get older, the toilet is one of the few places where we’re first alone, particularly if we share a bedroom with siblings. Childlore and fiction about childhood is full of toilets: bullies that strike in school toilets, toilet ghosts like Bloody Mary and Hanako-san, people who died on the loo, and rats or spiders that bite your bum. It’s a classic example of a liminal space that looks mundane but could be full of scary shit.

So that’s my first smart theory, Skibidi Toilet is a contemporary haunted toilet story with something to do with dirt and discomfort vs tech. Clever theories about symbolism are fun and I think symbolism that feels relevant and familiar might be why something first attracts someone’s attention, but I don’t think it can explain the thing having fandom.

The only thing people love as much as poop jokes is stories about cool guys having punch ups, and there’s plenty of that as well. Visually and thematically, Skibidi uses all the tropes that we love in serious popular media - fights, explosions, monsters, giants, noise, the aforementioned cool robots. Swap out skibidi toilets for alien invaders, and cameramen with plungers for cyborgs with swords, and we’d have a respectable alien apocalypse story that’s identical to five other summer blockbusters. But as it is, it’s so ridiculous that it can only be a silly little internet video.

There’s a video by MatPat making a convincing argument that it’s actually about the conflict between independent content creators and the conventional media industry. But again, I think it’s also probably only indirectly what’s turning curious views into millions of subscriptions, especially since the earlier netlore was pretty niche. I think what viewers are picking up on is the dissonance between cool robots, apocalypse horror, and silly toilets, evidenced by most of the comments on YouTube being variation of “why is this actually good”. It’s got the same vibe as other stuff I’d classify as creepypasta-style or meme-style horror: Five Nights at Freddy’s, Among Us, Homestuck, and so on. In meme horror, there is an in-universe threat to characters that’s not played for laughs. However, something like a ridiculous gimmick, a parody of pop culture, or a dissonantly cute art style makes it clear that adult viewers who understand it as fiction don’t have to respect the threat.

The line between feared and respected has always been thin. A cool example of this is the word aglæca in Beowulf and other Old English texts. Aglæca is a debated word because it’s mainly used to describe monsters and demons, but is sometimes used to describe heroes and saints. Both the human hero Beowulf and his monster opponent Grendel are called aglæca. Based on this use and its etymology, some medieval studies scholars think it means something more like an uncanny and powerful outsider. I think a big part of meme horror’s appeal is that it’s still got heroes who are more or less serious characters fighting serious battles. We can respect the characters and their struggles even if we don’t fear the absurd stuff. I’ve chosen Titan TVman for my silly title because they’re the character that best embodies the “uncanny hero” aspect for me, but tbh I think that most meme horror heroes/anti-heroes seem to be these character types.

We know that enjoying horror fiction helps some people manage anxiety and fear, and comedy horror can help us laugh at fear. With the retained seriousness besides the playfulness, meme horror might be more beneficial than basic serious or comedy horror as a comfortably uncomfortable middle ground between the two. Cringe is currently having a cultural moment too, where concerns about and celebrations of being cringe are everywhere, so it might also give us a way of exploring and processing our feelings about embarrassment as well as fear.

Memes, and therefore meme horror, are very amenable to being collaboratively and spontaneously adapted and spread by regular folk. They’re a new form of folklore, essentially. They address stuff that’s relevant to the lives of regular folk, including ugly and uncomfortable things. There’s even a theory that the culture of the very online has began an era of “secondary orality” where how we spread stories on the internet replicates how we used to spread folk stories by word-of-mouth. Secondary orality is a double-edged sword, as it can build creative and supportive communities, but also spreads conspiracy theories and hate. No wonder some of us might not be having our needs fulfilled by regular horror fiction, if we’re facing the bad kind of secondary orality as well as everything else that’s going on in the world. (More allegories! An increasingly absurd and hostile world is another theme in Skibidi Toilet.)

The 1938 book Homo Ludens argued that doing things just for fun has defined features and benefits: play gives us freedom to express ourselves, it’s separate from everyday life, it allows us to construct new worlds with new rules, and it’s never compulsory or for profit. When we’re bombarded by media that’s designed to extract the maximum amount of profit from us, engaging with mainstream entertainment might sometimes feel not as playful or as voluntary. But by being a bit cringe, meme horror retains the appearance of being indie and just for fun even if it becomes obscenely popular.

So, for me, this is what Skibidi Toilet is about. It’s about new folklore playing the same role as old folklore, even if it looks like silly toilet men videos, because we’re essentially the same people as our ancestors telling monster stories around the fire.

#long post #anthropology #folklore #skibidi toilet #skibidi lore #skibidi wtf #horror #memes #my art

[genshinboys]

ITTO - DATING APP HCS

WARNING: SMUT

PAIRING: ITTO X FEM READER

Where do I even begin here? Ugh, lol. Raunchy sex, lots of crack and Itto being head over heels with his Little Bumble Bee. I will just say I might be ashamed of some of the things I wrote here xD

“Plot thicker than Itto’s cock” - review courtesy of my lovely beta reader

Hypothetically speaking, how hard can it be to find a handsome but cute guy with the physique of a bodybuilder and a cock bigger than your dreams? Turns out, not that difficult at all. Especially if you aren’t particularly fussy about his intelligence level. You don’t need another Mr Smarty-Pants with a genius IQ score. Archons forbid. You have had enough of men like these. All you are hoping for right now is a good fuck. A good old pussy pleaser with a charming face to sit on. 

And that is when you swipe right, drooling not too respectfully at the sight of an Oni. An Oni going by the name of Itto, sitting a bit too proudly in his jet-black, too-tight, look-at-my-enormous-dick leather pants on his equally big and just as a black motorcycle.

The smile on his face is promiscuous, too obvious to mistake it for anything else than ‘I will ruin your pussy’ promise hidden behind the upward curve of his lips. BINGO. That’s exactly what you are looking for!

HOLY SHIT! It is a match too!

You assumed it would be more trying of an experience than that. What should you do? Hit him up? Sure, you are looking for a fuck buddy, but you still need to be a little bit..., how do they call it? Hard-to-get? Yeah, yeah. That’s it. This is what you read on the Internet after you had been dumped by your ex - ‘flirt with them, but play hard to get.' Men love the chase. You wish you had googled that before your previous relationship went up in flames together with the last shreds of your dignity. NO MORE HEARTBREAKS. You don’t need men. You just want their cocks.

DING-DING

The phone buzzes, interfering with your moment of eye-opening revelation.

From: Arataki Itto

Hey, bbby gorilla. I bet you smiled when you saw my name pop up on the screen just now :D

You re-read the message a couple of times, thinking that maybe you were too generous about the ‘doesn’t have to be that intelligent’ rule. Haven’t you seen something similar on the Internet already? You know auto-correct can be cruel, but this should be classified as straight-up meme material.

From: Arataki Itto

Baby grill*, sorry!

Should you take screenshots? Your friends would have a field day mocking you and your first failed attempt at finding a hookup. Hey, let’s give him a chance. Maybe, just maybe, it won’t be that bad.

From: Arataki Itto

Dayum, man, this shit is wild. Ignore that, yeah? So, whassup, Sweetie? Can’t believe I fished out such a pretty little thing. Look at you, fancy rags you are sporting there. Isn’t it uncomfortable to wear it every day?

You could be asking him the same thing. His dick cannot be happy, begging for more room in his male-hooker trousers.

To: Arataki Itto

Are you referring to my clothes? It is called a suit. I wear it to work.

You realise that you sound more condescending than it would be generally acceptable, considering the fact that you really want to bounce on that dick sometime soon. Itto doesn’t seem to pick up on it, though?

From: Arataki Itto

WOah, Dude. Are you some kind of businesswoman? 

Yeah, he totally did not get it. He is the most oblivious person in the whole Teyvat. No doubt. You are still counting on a good dick, though.

To: Arataki Itto

Yeah, you might say so. I run my own company.

You don’t want to reveal too much. You are not looking for a hand-in-marriage, duh. He doesn’t necessarily need to know how rich you are. Well, probably he will discover sooner or later, but that’s just not important now. You have a clear goal in mind. After a year of life resembling that of nuns, you really need to let off some steam.

From: Arataki Itto

NO SHIT! That’s so cool, man! I don’t really know much about that. But, I am also someone you might call a big shot, like yourself. Wanna know what I do? :D

You snort out loud, grateful to Archons that you didn’t get to exchange messages with this big dumb-dumb during one of your business meetings.

To: Arataki Itto

Well, let me guess. You are a fearless gang leader and a multiple champion of bug fights? :)

You hit the send button, fully expecting him to tease you back.

From: Arataki Itto

Holy shieet, no way? How did you know? You important people really have your way with things, don’t you? Sweetie, you are a keeper.

The sip of coffee you took ended up jetting out of your face, splashing on the documents and your desk.

To: Arataki Itto

No, Itto. I just read your profile info?

There is a longer period of silence in which you deal with the mess of your soaked papers while all cogs in Itto’s brain come to a screeching halt.

From: Arataki Itto

Sure, I was just fooling with you, Babe. You are a sharp one, though. Cool. Anyways, Sweets, fancy meeting me soon???

Yeah. For some inexplicable reason, you send him a short ‘yes’ answer before your common sense can convince you otherwise.

Itto is a simple guy. He has never been one for these extravagant restaurants, with menus full of names he could not even read, let alone know what they are. This is not ‘his style’ - he would remark to one of his gang members when they reasoned that maybe he should reconsider the plan for your very first date that his Oni brain had masterfully concocted.

„Listen, here, I know what I am doing, yeah? Such cute little bumblebees like her need a real man, not some old fuddy-duddy snobs. My pockets may not be full of mora, but I am a creative fella. These stuck-up buffoons could never! They simply ain’t no match for me, got it?”

Itto gave a truthful answer, fully believing in every word he said.

 Thus, he waited no further, asking you out on a date at your earliest convenience, which turns out to be today’s evening. The handsome Oni promised to pick you up at 8. To your surprise and dismay, approximately ten minutes before the appointed time, you hear some idiot yelling outside the apartment block. It is getting increasingly louder and more annoying as in addition to these screams equalling the tenacity of a slaughtered boar, there is a deafening sound of a horn that keeps blasting, and it simply won’t stop.

What a nuisance! Your hand twitches; and you would almost mess up the eyeliner if not for the years of experience in the said activity. Ahh! If only you had left work earlier, you wouldn’t be running late to your first-in-ages fucking session with the hottest Oni in the entire Teyvat. This obnoxiously loud moron will not ruin your perfect make-up for tonight’s long-awaited rendezvous. 

„Shut the hell up, you twat!

You stick your head out of the open window and let the guy know what you think about his shenanigans. Everything goes silent, and bless the Archons; you are allowed to finish your make-up in peace before receiving the call from the receptionist.

„Mrs Y/N, I’m very sorry to disturb you, but there is a..., erm, questionable-looking young gentleman in the lobby, claiming that he supposedly has a meeting with you tonight. He forgot the room number, doesn’t have his guest pass and is..., Very rowdy, to say the least. He was making a lot of noise in front of the building just now. Would you like me to maybe, uh, get rid of him?”

A few seconds pass in complete silence before you clear your throat and croak out a quiet ‘I’m coming downstairs’ answer. The receptionist was still very supportive and informed you that he could take care of things himself. You really didn’t have it in you to confess that this ‘questionable-looking young gentleman’ is your date for tonight.

You hurriedly exit the lobby, avoiding eye contact with the discombobulated staff. You hold your head high, and your mouth sets into a grim line when you halt in front of the smirking Oni, leaning smugly against the motorcycle.

„Hey, Sweets. Thought I’d have to climb the damn building to get you out of your birdcage. These dudes here are worse than Kujou Sara’s flunkies.”

Itto roars, laughing so hard at his own joke that you think you are going to die from second-hand embarrassment. Is stupidity contagious? Because if the answer is positive, then maybe you shouldn’t risk so much just for a good round of sex.

„H-Hi, Itto.”

You stutter out a stiff greeting, barely, barely, managing to convince your eyes to rest on his face rather than on the Oni’s bulging penis. Ok, he might be an idiot, but he sure is an eye-candy too.

„Dayum, man, you are such a heartthrob. How are you even single? You must be having a hard time with all of these sleazeballs hitting on you, don’t ya?

Itto praises, having no reservations to ogle your body from head to toe as he takes a step forward, and BOOM, suddenly his lips are brushing over your cheek. It is haste and innocent, but the skin caressed by his soft lips starts to burn, blossoming with a rosy colour. He withdraws unexpectedly, but your nose catches a whiff of his scent - a musky, smooth aroma. It is such an invitingly warm but not too overpowering cologne. It has this slight sweetness on top of it all, with some notes of cashmere and anise that come through first, catching you by surprise at how soothing yet powerful the Oni’s fragrance is. If you had to close your eyes, the first image that would come to your mind would be that of a ‘man’. The realest man. Your pussy throbs in excitement.

„I’ve been doing just fine, thank you.”

You respond awkwardly through the dryness of your throat. Itto flashes his teeth, rubbing at the back of his neck to subdue the sudden wave of shyness that hit him out of nowhere. What is he supposed to say now? It is just not fair for you to be so breathtakingly gorgeous. The over-grown Oni fails to understand how and why he managed to talk you into this meeting.

„You smell good.”

WOAH. All the possible things you could have said, and yet your mouth babbles out one of these observations you would rather not divulge at a first meeting. Well, at least you did not tell him how delicious his cock looks in these whorish trousers. The glass is always half full, as they say.

„Ya think?”

Itto stands there, equally jarred by the boldness of your comment, making eyes at you that leave your throat considerably drier than before. It seems that it was all he needed to come back to his ‘big oni & small brain’ attitude. You didn’t suppose it would come to this, but you actually feel relieved.

„Daww, you flatter me!”

The Oni coos at you, leaning closer, back into your personal space bubble. Crimson red eyes with a fascinating yellow gradient gaze upon you from above. The height difference leaves you dizzy with vertigo. Or maybe it is his ultra-masculine smell that muddles you up? Probably both.

„You sure make my mouth water as well, you petite Bumble Bee.”

Itto’s eyes light up, and they turn narrower with how much he is smiling at you right now.

„So, so small and cute. I bet I could fit you into my pocket, Sweets. The big Oni and his fun-size Bumble Bee. Isn’t that just supercool?!”

Your eye twitches and you are unsure if the not so well-versed Oni wanted to insult or compliment you, but you are still somehow willing to humour him. There is something about him that makes you want to rub your thighs together, irrespective of his intellectual capacity of a peanut. That is actually quite endearing if you were to admit the truth. The towering over you muscle-pig makes some animated movements with his jumbo-big hands, appearing more excited than a kid in the candy shop. Your longing eyes cling onto Itto’s massive palms, giving you all the wrong ideas that could lead to all the positive outcomes.

„Yeah. Super-duper-cool, Itto!”

You tease, but obviously, the red-eyed hottie wouldn’t savvy the laced with sarcasm words even if he used the long dusted in his brain wires.

„High-Five, man!”

He shouts, lifting his arm. Not too high though so that you can comfortably reciprocate the bonding gesture. And you do, flaunting a crooked smile and eyes that stare blankly at Itto’s XXXXL chest. Where does he buy his clothes? Your study the leather jacket - a perfect match for his skin-tight leather pants, underneath which you see a white tank-top. Yeah. 10/10 male hooker outfit confirmed.

„Well, and guess what, Sweets! It is your lucky day! Would you be able to tell why?”

Itto rubs his hands with joy, waiting eagerly for your answer.

„Oh, no. Please, enlighten me..., you biiiiiig Oni Boy.” 

He is thrown off guard again, attempting to hide the rushing to his cheeks heat by a roar of laughter that comes from the deepest depths of the Oni’s belly.

„He he he, you learn fast, Bumble Bee. ”

Itto acknowledges the use of the pet name that he consciously (or not) chose for himself a minute prior. He tries not to ponder on how well it sounds rolling off your tongue. Perhaps, it wasn’t a good idea to call himself that way. 

„I’m taking you to the bug fights!”

Your eyes widen. However, not because you feel ‘lucky’ as stated by the big-tiddied man.

„B-Bug fights?”

Parroting Itto is the best you can do, as you experience a temporary lack of grey matter in your brain. His lack of intelligence has already started rubbing off on you.

„Heck, yeah, Bumble Bee! Authentic BUG FIGHTS! Can you believe it? I’m taking you there on my turbo fast baby too!”

Regardless of his enthusiasm, your face twists into yet another pitiful expression when Itto points to the monstrous motorcycle behind him.

„Not to spoil your plan, Itto, but, um, I-I don’t think I’m dressed for the occasion.”

You peer at him, hoping to wiggle your butt out of this predicament. The Oni regards you with his empty-looking eyes. He worries at his bottom lip, a tell-tale sign of him thinking long and haarddd about how to save the night.

„Uh, how about you come upstairs? We could jus---,”

Itto claps his hands together, destroying your plan to lure him into your apartment and jump on his dick.

„Hey, don’t ya worry your pretty head about it, Bumble Bee! Itto will always come up with the best solutions.”

The red-eyed Oni shimmies out of his leather jacket and sinks to his knees. Wooah, wait a minute? What’s going on? Your eyes shoot to the entrance, where you spot a confused receptionist. He is looking at you with a ‘blink twice if you need my help’ message written across his face. 

„Grab my shoulders. I will cover you up with my jacket so we can hike that skirt up.”

You gasp for air like a fish out of water.

„E-Excuse me?!”

Itto swathes your buttocks with the garment, tying the sleeves together to secure the jacket on your hips.

„It’s all fine, Sweets. I’ll help ya! Just hold onto me nice and tight! Your peach is safe with me.”

His big Oni hands grab the flimsy skirt and push it higher and higher up your thighs, almost revealing your panties! Your body sways as if you were fighting for life on a rocked by the storm boat. The man has no control over his strength! 

„Itto, n-no!”

„Easy, easy. I’m a gentleman.”

Wanting to prove his words, the handsome Oni closes his eyes, further roaming his hands over your exposed skin. You clutch onto his muscular back when Itto continues the uneven battle with the skirt. You really don’t want to focus on how hot and soft his palms feel against the delicate skin of your thighs, but you lose this time as well, succumbing a little deeper into lust.

„And all done!”

Itto grins proudly when he juts his chin up to look at your flushed face. 

„Let’s go, Bumble Bee. We are running late.”

His gigantic hand swallows yours as the deliriously happy big boy leads you towards the vehicle.

Your first date turned out to be everything but you screaming in pleasure while struggling to take Itto’s oni dick. The hook-up ended without a hook-up as you were dragged to the ‘Bug Fights Arena’ - quoting the ecstatic Itto, which in reality was nothing short of a few make-shift stone platforms with a variety of Onikabutos performing some wild martial-art moves. Itto could not stop babbling about these yucky-looking insects, passionately holding your hand through the entire duration of the duels you were (un)lucky to witness. Unable to contain the bottling inside emotions, it happened that Itto squeezed you too hard. You had to remind him that he was still holding your hand and that it would be nice if he could stop squashing it to a pulp. The oblivious Oni apologised profusely and lifted the palm to his lips to pepper-kiss the skin, only to almost cut off your blood flow a few moments later when he again forgot about how strong he is.

He bought you popcorn and your favourite Tricolour Dango. The handsome Oni was feeding you with the chopsticks, every now and then passing you the extra large boba tea that you both shared. Indirect kiss? Pretty much, yeah. Neither of you seemed to mind. Itto wiped you clean with his thumb whenever he missed your mouth because of how much he was focusing on these stupid bug fights. 

„Ah, sorry, Bumble Bee, my bad. Here, lemme fix that for ya.”

Itto’s crimson pupils were glued to your lips as he was wiping the sweet sugar powder.

„Why do you call me this way?”

You queried, blushing slightly when he licked the sticky powder off his thumb. You two seemed to grow comfortable with one another in a remarkably short time.

„Huh?”

Itto mused, shifting his eyes back to you.

„Why is it, Bumble Bee?”

Itto smirked impishly.

„It is simple, Sweets. I love all the bugs...,”

He inched closer, his lips halting right next to your ear.

„...and bumblebees are the fluffiest and thickest of them all.”

You could have sworn the Oni deliberately let out a warm puff of air to watch you shiver and squirm in your seat.

„Very sexy, just like you and easily my favourite out of all these tiny creatures.”

He whispered, chuckling playfully when you craned your neck to peer at him with a raised eyebrow.

„Excuse me, but I’ve never been compared to a yucky bug. Was that a compliment?”

Itto guffawed like a big dummy, scooping you closer to himself with his large oni forelimb. His finger poked your nose, which further threw you off balance.

„You see? That’s what I’m talking about. The sexiest and cutest little Queen of all the bees.”

You didn’t ask him to elucidate what he meant by it, but you would be a liar if you didn’t admit that it felt nice to know that at least in Itto’s eyes, you are the juiciest bee in the entire hive.

From: Big Boi Itto

Hey Bumble Bee, hope your day is as nice as your butt :)

Despite the lack of any activities that would fall into the broad category of SEXUAL; your friendship with the Oni doesn’t appear to lose its momentum. In fact, the big dum dum - aka infamous Arataki Itto doesn’t cut you any slack, stubbornly yet steadily heading straight for your heart.

The message you read out during one of these most boring office meetings is a prime example of how well he has been faring. You can’t do much about the silly smile that creeps on your face at yet another Itto’s cheesy pick-up line.

To: Big Boi Itto

Hey, Big Boy <3 Unfortunately, I’m stuck in a meeting. It’s so dull. You have no idea :(

It is hard to believe, but you catch yourself missing the company of the scatterbrained handsome oni idiot. You sigh, a little bit heartsick? The guy delivering the presentation averts your bored and annoyed-looking eyes, spitting out facts and numbers like a robot. Normally, you would be very interested in what he has to say, it is your company, after all. Yet, today you can’t stop daydreaming and getting distracted.

From: Big Boi Itto

Shit, trapped in the same room with a few stuffed shirts? Ugh. My poor little Bumble Bee, you must be bored out of your mind! I can come and kidnap you if you want :D

Another round of giggles threatens to escape your mouth, and you have to hide behind the documents to remain professional. Yeah, these guys sure are a bunch of stuffed shirts. Itto is not mistaken. They all but pale in comparison to Itto’s charismatic personality.

To: Big Boi Itto

I wish. I really wish I could! How about meeting me in the evening?

You send the hit button and start wondering, is it still only about sex? You prefer not to think about it too much, afraid to arrive at answers that would be too hard to accept.

From: Big Boi Itto

Oh, yes, girl! Thought you would never ask, Bumble Bee *smirks* I have something I want to show you tonight, so I’m taking you to my place. I can send you a little sneak peek :D

To: Big Boi Itto

BRING IT ON <3

You respond in a heartbeat, relieved to be entertained by the one-of-a-kind Arataki Itto - the funny but a tad too silly PRO comedian.

From: Big Boi Itto

IMAGE.PNG

Look at that big boy. Impressive, huh?

You download the image and immediately have to cover the gaping in utter shock mouth to muffle the scream bubbling in your throat. A deep red flush raises to your cheeks and spreads lower, much much lower, making it feel like your stomach basically sank to your knees. You are staring at the ONI’S DICK. At the gargantuan piece of Itto’s erected flesh that urgently begs to be swallowed by your pussy right this instant.

„Continue without me.”

You choke out a feeble sounding command that fills the room with awkward silence and stupefied eyes that stick to your face like stink on shit.

You don’t suppose you have ever been in such a desperate need for a moment of privacy in one of the company’s bathroom stalls when you slam the door shut and desperately reach for the throbbing pussy to stuff it full of your fingers. 

Itto’s dick pic.

And nothing else matters to you now.

How did it all come to this? Your forehead creases the longer you look at the KO’ed Oni, lying like a lifeless log in his bed. The second date also did not progress the way you had thought it would. First of all, how could you have known that a man of Itto’s size could be knocked out by a little bit of chocolate cake? You feel like bawling your eyes out, blaming yourself for the current state of affairs. You move closer to the suffering man, evenly spreading the duvet over Itto’s large body. Your thoughts spiral obsessively, over and over again replaying the events of tonight’s meeting that led to the Oni’s inevitable demise.

1. Out of politeness, as you stubbornly convinced yourself to believe, you came up with the brightest idea to surprise the Oni with a homemade chocolate cake. Sure, many would deem it stupid and unnecessary, especially that he was only meant to become your booty call. However, you could not fight the ‘I-want-to-be-a-good-girlfriend’ whispers at the back of your head.

2. You whipped up the most delicious, flinger-licking good chocolate cake and arrived at his doorstep before the appointed time, with the image of his gigantic Oni cock forever etched in your memory.

3. The conversation flew naturally, without any hitches or awkward pauses that could have been caused by the shockingly nice, however still very unexpected dick pic.

4. Itto was very happy to taste the sweet treat, stuffing his belly full until you practically saw the bottom of the baking pan and there were no crumbs left. 

5. He was eating and eating, showing you his collection of bugs that live happily in the glass houses that Itto had built himself.

„W-Wait, wait, Itto. What photo are you talking about?”

„The snap I sent you today.”

„But you didn’t send me any bugs? You send me your-”

OH FUCK.

„Now, you see that big boy, Baby? Yeah, I’m so proud of him. The biggest and strongest Onikabuto that I’ve laid my hands on. It looks even bigger in reality than in that photo I sent you, right? A real monster!”

6. The realisation hit you precisely the moment Itto’s soy bean allergy kicked in for good, resulting in him almost fainting and getting all delirious and incoherent. The only thing you managed to piece together from itto’s incomprehensible noises was that it must have been triggered by the soy milk, which you had used to prepare the chocolate cake.

7. The grand finale? You had to call your family doctor, who rushed to the Oni’s house with the allergy shots. The poor Oni fell asleep like a baby and hasn’t moved an inch since he got poisoned.

Up until now.

Grunts, pants and whines.

Itto’s eyes groggily crack open, right away landing on your tense facial features. 

„Itto? H-How do you feel? Are you ok?”

The Oni blinks a few times, noticing your small hands wrapped securely around his larger one. He grins, revealing the pearly-white sharp canines that would undoubtedly feel amazing playing with the skin of your neck. WOah, hold on. You almost killed the man, and you still can’t control the horny? SHAME ON YOU!

„Baby,`s fine. I am all fine.”

Itto sits on the bed, pulling your hand to his mouth to kiss it a couple of times before he flashes you the signature Oni smirk, hoping to relax you.

„It was just a little virus in the system, nothing to be worried about. Hey, Bumble Bee, what’s with the long face?”

Itto tries his best to cheer you up, but the tears start pricking at your eyes.

„It’s my fault, all my fault.”

You choke on a sob, and violent little shivers take over your chin. His oni fingers grasp the jaw delicately. They essentially cover half of your face. Itto’s heart picks up the speed. He is not prepared to see his little Bumble Bee cry. 

„No, no, no, hey, Baby, look at me, look me in the eyes.”

Itto instructs in a warm tone, although internally, it feels as if somebody was ripping his heart out alive. Both of his hands cup your face that adorably drowns in their bulky size, awakening longing and other emotions whose names are yet unfamiliar to Itto. All he knows is that he can’t bear to see you cry.

„You did nothing wrong, Baby. You are perfect.”

And then, it happens. Itto’s lips brush over your eyelids first before you feel yourself being pressed against the warmth of his chest, against the solid muscles of his abdomen that draw tight once your soft finger pads rest on the Oni’s firm body. He is so warm, or rather hot, scorching hot like the rays of sunshine in the peak of summer. It takes you a while before your synapses fire properly to understand that Itto is kissing you. He is kissing you as if the act itself could possess your soul, and, to be frank, it isn’t too far from the truth.

Itto moans into your lips, effectively turning your brain into a Jell-O with his unabashed display of want, thundering against his Oni veins. He could choke you to death with these hands that swathe your face and neck, and you wouldn’t even notice. He kisses your lower lip, dragging it slowly between his sharp teeth and your ability to reason flies out of the window.

„Baby-”

Itto pants, and you can’t comprehend why his lips are suddenly so far away from yours? You tug at his tank top, attempting to yank him close, but let’s be honest, the effort is futile. A small mouse lunging at an elephant would be more successful than you now.

„W-Why did you stop, why-,”

Itto places a sloppy kiss on the centre of your lips to shush you.

„I need you to know that I’ve never had more fun than with you. All the other girls wanted me for my looks. Ya know, big Oni and his big cock, this type of shit, I was so fed up.”

Itto fires the shots, wanting to be utterly transparent with you. His hand wanders to the small of your back, and he effortlessly lifts you, placing you in his lap. Your body arches into his, fingers getting tangled in his white Oni mane as your bodies mould together perfectly.

„Nobody ever listened to me. These chicks, they all just wanted to, uhm..., You know what I mean.”

You nod, rocking into his pelvis, which sends a jolt of electricity down your spine. Itto’s fingers sink into the fat of your hips. He breathes out laboriously, eating you up with his gaze in a most affectionate manner despite the sparks of need that light up his crimson pupils.

„Then, when it was all over, they left me each time. But you are different. You went to see the Bug Fights with me and, and you, uhm, you took care of me when the allergy knocked me down, he he he...,”

Itto hides his embarrassment behind a forced chuckle, all the time gauging your reactions. He doesn’t want to scare his Bumble Bee away. He cannot afford to lose you when you are all he has ever dreamt about, if not more.

„Thank ya for that, all of it.”

He finishes barely above a whisper, peering sheepishly at you.

A thick lump forms itself in your throat, and you swallow hard at the most beautiful and honest words you’ve ever heard coming from a man. Itto can be a big and intimidating Oni, but deep down he sure is just an adorable and soft idiot. 

„Will you cuddle with me for a bit? I still feel a tiiiny bit drowsy. Will that be ok, huh?”

A tear-jerking question forces you to bury your head in his chest. You pull him close to you, failing to control the series of weird sniffles.

„You are such a dummy, Itto. Go to sleep.”

You hold him close, making a mental promise to protect his fragile Oni heart.

Unconventional situations require equally unusual measures. After a good couple of weeks of dating the Oni; having seen dozens of bug fights, having travelled hundreds of kilometres seated behind the Oni’s broad back with your hands securely wrapped around his ripped abdomen as he was taking you places on his motorcycle, and finally having pushed through a good share of Itto’s neglected boners, you know the time has come. 

It is another one of these cosy ‘Netflix and chill’ evenings, with the big Oni boy crashing at your place and breathing life into you after a long day spent at the office. He would come, crack a few of his dumb Oni jokes, tell you a story from his not so shady gangster life and eat half of your fridge while never forgetting to spoon-feed you as he devours anything that doesn’t contain soy beans. Not that he would find anything like that in your pantry. It is worth mentioning that since the gruesome incident, you have gone ‘soy-bean-free’, totally manifesting your support for the Oni’s condition. Itto has been nothing but the sweetest little (ok, not so little) ray of sunshine, and you will not wait even a day longer to take your relationship to the next level.

However, the Oni has absolutely no clue about your plan when he enters your apartment with a bag full of snacks for tonight’s cuddling & watching TV date.

„Bumble Bee, I am ho-,”

Itto feels his throat jamming, and the shopping bag slips out of his hand, landing on the floor.

„Hi, Big Boy.”

Itto really, really tries not to look. He does his absolute utmost not to stare open-mouthed at the bumblebee tank top and shorts but fails nonetheless. The almost-sheer, ultra-fine set emphasizes each and every delicious curve of your body and..., Ohhh, Celestia help him! Is he seeing nipples poking through the paper-thin fabric? Are you not wearing any underwear today? The bumblebee print in the middle of your boobs stretches, revealing the busty shape of your chest, leaving very little to the Oni’s imagination. Itto’s brain simmers like an egg on a frying pan when he drops his gaze lower, down to the skimpy shorts with a lacy hem digging into the flesh of your thighs. Camel-toe? Oh, noooo, please no. A stifled sound of a tortured to death beetle is wrung out of the Oni when you part your thighs and pat your belly, smiling softly at the almost-deceased Itto. There he sees your fanny, your cutest little pussy lips swelling thickly against the barely-covering your peach shorts. Your breasts shake and jiggle, flowing like the rolling waves in the sea once you lift yourself higher on the sofa to have a better look at your afraid to move or breathe Oni boyfriend. 

„Come here and cuddle. What are you standing there for, hmm?”

You pat the belly again, making it clear that you want him between your thighs, with his head resting on these curvaceous boobs and dick nestled in your labia, hugged tightly by the puffiest pussy flaps Itto has ever seen. He sucks in a sharp breath, sounding pretty much like the Oni demon he is when your bum moves from side to side, inviting him to alleviate the yearning in his groin that stirs his dick to full hardness right in front of your eyes. Itto knows you can see it. There is just no way with how much his cock-head swells when you just as much as come too close to the touch-starved Oni. You have been nice enough not to make fun of his over-the-roof sexual drive, for which he is very, very grateful.

„Itto? Is something wrong?”

You nag him, nag him to come and put that thickened cock on your exposed cunt.

„I, uh, I just love that look, Baby is all. Got me a little shaken for a moment, yeah.”

Itto stutters out and bends in half to pick up the bag with snacks, which gives him a top-tier, almost a bird’s eye view over your plump little hole. He hears you giggle at has to stop to adjust the pants that start to annoy the shit out of him and his bulging in need penis.

„I’m so happy you like it.”

You sing song, and Itto’s eyes are heavy on you, on your nipples that stand at full attention, calling him to suck them till he tastes your sweet milky-bee nectar on his tongue.

„Like it? No, Baby. I’m losing my mind over it.”

Itto discards the bag on the coffee table, uninterested in the box of ice cream that must be turning into a wet and sticky puddle, very much like the content of his boxers.

Another gut-wrenching, dick-choking giggle. Itto’s eyes are absent, feral as if he has lost the remaining brain cells that so far have helped him to keep a pretty good lid on things. 

„I have missed you so much, Big Boy. Come and crush me with this Oni body of yours.”

That is too much for Itto. Way too fucking much. It is like his whole body has already started to sizzle with need, and you are just adding fuel to the fire, making him burn. Leaning down slowly, his eyes are following yours. 

„Bumble Bee, yer asking so nicely, how can I say no~”

Itto’s eyes sink to your unguarded hole as he slides that monster of a cock between your spread legs. You haven’t touched him, and he feels ultra-hard. You are guessing it must be borderline painful, even. You bite your lip. Excitement paints your cheeks in a rosy colour. You suddenly feel yourself drawn into a kiss as Itto positions himself. You lift your legs up, digging the heels into the meat of Itto’s hard ass to force him to lower his hips. His fat cock brushes over your tiny cunt, and the Oni’s muscular pecs push into your much softer and so much more delicate boobies. Itto really is crushing you, taking your breath away as he rests his entire body weight on your petite one, merely granting your wish. 

„I might sting Ya a little bit, Hun. Your Papa Bee has some issue down here.”

Yeah. You can feel that ‘issue’ very well. It’s your turn to moan as you writhe underneath Itto to rub all over his cock, dragging you both into that lust-driven hell.

„S-Shit, Babe, uh-, can you like, f-fuck, stop fidgeting so much?” 

Itto’s cock jumps when you laugh at him like a fucking brat that needs to be punished.

„Make me, Papa Bee.” 

It jumps again, thrashing against your weeping hole. The Oni could snap you in half like a stick if he lost control over his actions. You both know it, yet you continue teasing his dick, to the point he can’t take it anymore, so he grabs your waist with his hand. It looks ridiculously big on you, covering at least half of your stomach. Itto kisses you, no, basically devours your lips, naive enough to think that it will shut you up. Damn, that Oni blood circulating in his veins, that steroid-fed cock and his ridiculously overgrown body---,

„Mhmm, Itto, you-you are leaking on my pussy.”

You mumble the words into his mouth, eliciting an animalistic groan from your demon-like boyfriend. Drool dribbles down your cheek because of how stubbornly Itto is sliding his tongue against yours, pushing it down your throat as if he intended to choke you with it. Thinking very little of the consequences of your actions, your hands anchor in his hair, only to grope the pair of the Oni’s red and spiky horns. The man whines - whines like a beast in heat. 

„What if your Bumble Bee wants to be stung, huh?”

That is about the time when Itto fucking loses it, loses it for good.

„Ya little Flower is thirsty for Papi’s cock huh? You’ll fucking sob and beg when I make you sit on it and take every fucking inch into that greedy little cunt.”

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

„Yes, Itto, please, yes!”

The Oni growls, angry, out of his mind, totally gone. He tugs at the bumblebee tank top, tearing it down your body with his black claws. Your perky globes jiggle from side to side, and he lunges at them, stuffing his face full of your boob as if he wanted to eat it. The wet and long oni tongue laps at your bud, circling it, sucking and kissing without a moment's break to swallow the spit that makes your chest wet. Fireworks explode below your navel, and you keep pushing your cunt onto his thickened, swollen and licking pre-cum gigantic cock. He reaches for the other breast with his palm, kneading it and fumbling as he moans and groans, giving out these sounds that resemble the heat of a battle rather than some tit-sucking & vanilla sex.

„I’ll stuff you so full you will feel me in your fucking lungs. That’s how badly your Papa Bee will sting you, Hun.”

Ok. That threat actually intimidates you, especially when the sex-drunk Oni kneels before you and pulls his pants down. You can only watch in silence as his gigantic cock falls out like a felled Otogi wood. It is so heavy it bends under its own weight, looking as if it wanted to scare you and ruin any other sex you have ever had with anybody. Scratch that - it is already better than anything you have ever experienced. Your eyes glaze over, and your eyelid twitches nervously.

„Huh? You suddenly forgot how to use your mouth, Bumble Bee?”

The oni roars, laughing so heartily you think he might fall off the couch. You shake your head in denial, pussy burning and throbbing so badly you have half a mind to impale yourself on this pulsing slab of meat, even if it would probably make you cry in pain.

„Papa Bee will remind Ya, Flower~, just give it time. First, I shall taste your sweet honey juice. It smells so nice my mouth is salivating"

Itto is more merciful with your shorts, scraping them off you with his claws instead of ripping them to shreds just like he did with your tank top. He crumples them in his fist and brings them to his grinning face to take a whiff of your pussy. He lets out a lewd moan, all the time holding them to his nose and inhaling as if he was a junkie.

„Sweetest nectar for Papa Bee, only, only mine.”

Itto snarls in his pussy-high trance, baring the pearly fangs that could pierce through your skin like a dagger through butter. He goes down on you, rubbing, nibbling and licking his way from your quivering thighs up to the honey-leaking hole. Itto’s furnace-warm hands reach to your back, cupping your full cheeks and squeezing.

„Fucking delish. Booty worth of a Queen Bee. So supple and tender.”

Itto watches entranced how your legs shake and your hips move in tiny, little thrusts, telling him clearly what you want. Oh, and Itto will deliver. Yes, he will.

Still clasping your bottom, he tugs you closer and nudges in with his nose, spreading your pussy lips as if he was opening a flower bud which hasn’t bloomed yet. 

„Oh, Itto! Yes!”

„Mhmm!”

Itto groans back, dipping his tongue and swirling it low, reaching for the depths of your hole.

„Gimme all your juice, all that gooey sweetness on my tongue, Bumble Bee~.”

The Oni demands, caressing the throbbing nub of flesh, swallowing the tasty and warm essence that starts overflowing his mouth, trickling down his jaw. He licks into the lips of your sex, drinking, slurping and breathing in the syrupy-flavoured liquid.

He dines on you until you whimper in over-stimulation until you try to push him away as you climax again and again. The sofa is a mess - wet from the mix of the Oni’s saliva and your cum.

„I can’t, no-no m-more, no! Please! Itto-ahh, no!”

You are dying and living. Flying in the Oni’s arms. Spinning and shaking. 

„What? Isn’t it what you wanted, Flower?”

Itto chuckles at your misery, having kissed your pussy for one last time. He faces you, licking the remnants of your squirt from his sticky lips. You are suffocating, barely able to breathe and even lying seems too difficult for you.

„I ain’t even started with you yet, Hun.”

Without a word of warning, the big Oni holds you by your waist and lifts you as if you weighed nothing. A fucking inflated doll, at best. Itto fancies switching your positions, and soon after, he is the one resting on his back while he has you seated on top of him. He bends his arm and puts it under his head to get himself comfortable. Meanwhile, you are trembling and shaking, clinging to his torso for stability as the world whirls chaotically before your eyes.

„C’mon, Flower. Mouth on Papa Bee’s sting, quick.”

He pats your bum a few times to make you regain your consciousness, a gentle reminder that he is still going to fuck you, regardless of how tired you are. 

„Don’t make me repeat myself, m’kay?”

You nod, sliding down his body with no strength in muscles left. Itto’s right hand is securely wrapped around your hip to make sure you won’t slip away.

„Yes, just like that. A few licks, Sweets. Trust me. It is for your own good. We wouldn’t like to rip your pussy with my dick, right?”

You nod again, more frantically. Although, you are worried that no amount of lube or saliva could save your cunt from getting destroyed tonight. You peer at your overgrown lover for one last time. The demon with horns and his gargantuan cock. Yes. This is what you see when you dip your head and open your mouth as wide as you can to take him into your mouth. Well, this is an exaggeration. It should be said that you try to take some part of the bulging piece of flesh into your cracking and numb from the over-stretch jaw. Itto hisses, irrespective of how badly it’s going so far. His hips buck and his cock jumps in your mouth as soon as your tongue comes into contact with the throbbing monster. 

„Fuck, Flower. Don’t suck too hard. I wanna cum in your tiny little cunt. Ya hear me? Papa Bee will be nasty if you don’t behave like a good girl.”

You whimper and blink twice to let him know that you are not going to risk being too bratty this time. For now, at least.

„Good little Bumble Bee. So perfect, aren’t Ya?”

Your head bobs up and down, sucking with just a reasonably decent amount of pressure, careful not to anger the Oni as your gag reflex is being tested like never before. You slurp just as loud as Itto did, gliding smoothly up and down the girthy penis. He moans and groans prettily, and your cunt starts aching for his touch yet again. Just how much of a whore are you? This man has turned your brain into sex-craving mush.

„That’s it. That’s enough.”

Itto pants heavily, writing underneath you.

„Sit on Papa’s cock now, huh? I think I have to be in you now.”

Uh-huh. It’s about the damn time.

You gasp when he pulls you close by your hip, forcing you to sit with your pussy hovering over the reddened slab of veiny meat. Trembling with fear and excitement, you close your eyes, attempting to control the agonizingly slow descent of your hips onto Itto’s impatient length. You are mind-blowingly hot on top of him. The handsome Oni rakes your hair back to look at your glossy eyes and slutty face. He doesn’t want to be that mean to you today. You have been such a docile little Bumble Bee that he decides he can help you swallow up that big boy. Itto’s hands dig into the fat of your hips, lowering you down on his dick, inch by inch, sob after sob.

„Itto you are too big! Too fucking big!”

You cry and cry, wondering how long you have been at it already? Why hasn’t he bottomed out yet? How many more inches do you have to take in? You look at him, irritated and disheartened. You punch his chest with your tiny fist, making the tiddy bounce. Itto coos, not fully able to hide his amusement. Yet, he lets you take your time. After all, he could simply split you open and pull your organs to pieces with a single thrust of his cock.

„Shush, Flower. You are doing so well. We are almost there~.”

Fat tears roll down your cheeks as you feel the burn of your hole being stretched, elongated and expanded to accommodate the Oni’s penis. You feel him reaching the undiscovered depths of your gummy walls, brushing over such intimate places that your whole groin buzzes with need.

„J-just fucking help me! Help me Itto! Do something finally, you idiot!”

Your heart-wrenching sob tugs at Itto’s heartstrings. He doesn’t answer as his mouth is being busy emitting a guttural moan when his hips piston forward, right into your tight cunt with such strength that you would nearly topple over if not for Itto’s grip on your hips.

Archons above!

This is insane. He must be reaching up to your throat. There is just no way he isn’t with how full it feels, with how big the re-appearing bulge in your stomach is when he slams into you, making you jump on him as if you were riding an enraged bull.

„Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!”

You scream, not even bothering to hold onto the non-stop moving Oni. Itto uses you like his cock-sleeve, pushing you up and down his dick with crazy speed, filling you so well that white spots and stars begin to dance everywhere around you as another whine-wringing orgasm explodes in your groin.

„Yes, cover my dick with your honeyed juices, cream on me, Baby.”

Itto’s abdomen muscles have been fighting very hard to deny himself the release, wanting to utterly wreck you before he paints your insides white with his thick spurts of cum. He has been struggling a lot to remain in control, and now is the right time to reward himself for all his hard work.

„Gonna, cum Bumble Bee. Hang in there for a little while longer.”

Easier said than done, you think briefly, before Itto thrusts even faster and deeper into your dripping, abused hole, chasing his high like a wild animal. It takes a few more precise snaps of his hips, and the gossamer liquid starts jetting out of his gigantic cock-head, practically spilling out of your loosened hole as it can’t take everything Itto has stored for you in his heavy balls.

It seems like you have lost consciousness for a short while, regaining your clarity to being spooned by Itto in your own bed. He is nuzzling into your neck with his nose, massaging the bruised hips with a circular movement of his chubby fingers over your skin. Itto purrs when your body stirs in his arms.

„Bumble Bee, Ya ok?”

Itto’s tone is laced with worry.

„Have I been too harsh on you? Sorry, I kinda lost it there. Sorry, Baby.”

He really sounds apologetic, making butterflies explode in your stomach. You shift slightly to take a look at his face.

„No, no. I loved it. You are amazing, Itto.”

You kiss his forehead tenderly, relieved to see the comeback of the Oni’s cocky smirk.

„Also, I didn’t mean to, erm, call you an idiot. That was, uh, you know...,”

You trail off, and Itto chuckles like the goof he is.

„All fine, Sweets. No offence taken. You might have called me an idiot, but your pussy was telling me a different story.”

The Oni comments proudly, flashing more of his sharp teeth. Your face flushes bright red, and you punch his shoulder in retaliation.

„Shut up! You really are an idiot!”

Itto doesn’t let you say another word, claiming your lips passionately. 

„I might be an idiot, but I am only your idiot, Bumble Bee.”

MASTERLIST

If you enjoy my writing please leave a comment, reblog, visit my blog and interact with me <3 It means a lot and keeps me motivated! If you feel like supporting my hobby here is the link to my Ko-fi account.

Ko-Fi

This story took me so much time *cries* please give it some love! I can’t wait to hear what you think! My askbox is always open!

Tagged: @starnyxx​ @kananof-thesea​ @yuexinliang​ @mxsomn​ @kousnana​ @mimyun​ @xxrwzy​ @nerawse​ @ryxmix​ @sunflower124​ @mizzaa @emrysine​ @devilishly-heaven​ @lovely-hashira​ @misscalypso​ @cafephora​ @ll34hh

#itto smut #genshin smut #itto headcanons #genshin headcanons #arataki itto smut #arataki itto headcanons #itto genshin impact #itto drabbles #arataki itto drabbles #itto scenarios #arataki itto scenarios #arataki itto imagines #itto imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact smut #genshin impact drabbles #genshin impact imagines

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Ask me Anything -- Tal Smithson

Have you heard of the magical girl genre?

Fuck yes, have you read Sailor Nothing? World-changing. Preneek. Literature. I mean we only have two thirds of it but they were a great two thirds.

If you had awoken in Captain Aspen’s situation, would you have waited as long to wake others up?

I wouldn’t have woken anyone up. I don’t think it would even have occurred to me.

Do you feel more lucky or guilty that you’re the only one to survive your Ring’s ejection? Sorry if this one is too personal.

Why would I feel guilty? I was asleep.

If this is not too rude to ask, could you tell me a little about the Brennan gender identity, and grammar around pronouns?

I don’t know what you’re asking. It’s just a gender. Some people are men and some people are women and some people are brennan. And some people are something else I guess, like Aspen or the Friend.

Did you have any pets, or tend to animals growing up?

I had a pet monitor lizard named Cthulhu.

Have you done any work salvaging preneek data?

Yeah I used to be involved in tracking down and scraping old hard drives and servers for any possible recoverable data. Fillmore! Episode 5, Red Robins Don’t Fly? That was me. I found AND recovered that. You’re welcome.

Would you download a car?

I did once but the machine shop wouldn’t build me anything from unverified files. Also I don’t drive, obviously. Also I have nowhere to put a car.

What is Neocambrian meme culture like?

What’s meme culture?

Do you think the developments with Amy are as wild as I do?

Amy makes no fucking sense, my entire life since waking up on this ship has been a fever dream. In fact I’m not entirely convinced it isn’t a fever dream. Possibly I went to sleep and the neurostimulator started making me dream to preserve my brain on the trip and that’s what’s still happening right now. We’ll all wake up at Hylara super disoriented and filled with years’ worth of false memories.

What do you think should be done with the colonists that are too affected by Amy when the ship reaches Hylara?

It’s hardly up to me, is it? They’re going to die. I’m not a necromancer.

Do you ever worry you are in some sort of preneek science fiction novel, or movie?

What kind of weirdo would write something like this?

You are good at being a cybercriminal, how did you get caught?

The police, as it turns out, are also good at catching a cybercriminal.

If you could bring sometimes from earth with you, what would you pick?

Reget Bryce. Fucking arsehole. I hate that guy. He should have to be on this ship.

Do you want to give some of your dreams to Amy?

No, I’m very glad to have woken up before that could happen. Although maybe if she had a brain that knew literally anything about computers she wouldn’t be such a fucking mess in there.

What you hate the most?

People who think Star Trek and Star Wars were alternate names for the same franchise and totally fuck up our databases through unnecessary combinations. No Spock wasn’t a Force user. That took so many months to fix.

Are you scared of being made into a slave when you land?

I honestly don’t see how things are going to be significantly different to our current situation, except that we will be on the ground and presumably have less gaming time.

Kill someone innocent or be killed? Choose one.

We’ve got like four thousand spare innocent lives on hand, it’s not like it’s a limited resource. I probably will end up fucking up and killing at least one of them anyway. Just based on probability and this fucking nightmare of an AI.

Have you even be out of Texas?

Yeah I went on this submarine trip once to follow an old internet cable we discovered in the hopes that it would lead to some interesting server with some interesting information. It didn’t. It just lead to a small bunker from the time of the collapse, a seal had been breached and the entire thing was flooded. Nothing electronic was recoverable. There were some cool skeletons in there though.

#time to orbit: unknown #ama

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Here's a bingo card full of great Klaine fics:

Debut: Days by AllyThePotato

Page Turner: Come Alive by delires

Need Tissues: Stick Season by Blurglesmurfklaine

Unusual Occupation: Witch Wanted by RockItMan

Wild Card: Running in Circles, Coming up Tails by izwordsoup

Summer: Swing, Swing by quizasvivamos

Challenge: Ebb and Flow by maanorchidee

Laugh: these inconvenient fireworks by redheadgleek

Trope I don't normally read: Out of Eden (and the whole 'verse) by wowbright

Thanks for your Bingo card! HERE is the collection (125 fics and counting!) and here is the info for the 2023 Klaine Bingo! ~Lynne

1) Days by AllyThePotato

Blaine lives in San Fransisco, Kurt lives in Lima. They've never met in person, but befriend one another and talk over the phone. They make plans to live in NYC together, but will everything go as planned?

2) Come Alive by delires

1960s NYC: Newly-wed junior advertising exec Blaine Anderson finds a missing piece to his puzzle in the back room of a Manhattan bar. Mad Men era AU.

3) Stick Season by @blurglesmurfklaine

After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation.

4) Witch Wanted by @rockitmans

Blaine is cursed to not touch anyone, Kurt is the grumpy neighborhood witch. They each have something the other other needs (the thing is love)

5) Running in Circles, Coming up Tails by izwordsoup

Kurt and Adam are married with a seven-year-old daughter, Ellie. "Happily married" is another question. Ellie takes piano lessons from none other than Blaine Anderson, who also happens to be a good friend of Kurt's since college. What happens to them when Adam goes to England to star in a West End musical, leaving Kurt and Ellie in New York? What happens when Blaine becomes a more frequently-seen figure in Kurt and Ellie's lives due to Ellie's piano schedule?

6) Swing Swing by quizasvivamos

The Skanks, Kurt and Quinn, are a thing. Blaine, a bit of a bad boy, is dating that goth girl, Tina. The four best friends are fully immersed in the Emo/Scene subculture, the kids everyone at school calls emo or just plain freaks. As close-knit as a friend group can get, the couples share a lot in common: their love of choir and band, tastes in music and art, partying, going to shows and concerts, getting wasted, and—oh, yeah—each other's partners. They swap sometimes. Because it's cool, and it's hot. Besides, it's just for fun. Then, in the summer before their senior year, they take a life-altering road trip to Cleveland for Warped Tour 2005.

7) Ebb & Flow by maanorchidee

Blaine Anderson is yet another anonymous New Yorker who's trying to get a job in the entertainment industry. His days are filled with auditions, bleak subway rides, piano lessons, and complaining about his annoying next-door-neighbour. But Blaine has a secret that he cannot share with his other friends: he dreams of playing competitive Splatoon 2. He already has a hard time justifying this music degree, so he doesn't need to add an interest in eSports to that. That's why the only person who knows about this, is yet another stranger on the internet named Kurt. The two met in an LGBT Splatoon 2 Discord and became fast friends. Little do they know that they also know each other offline.

8) These Inconvenient Fireworks by redheadgleek

After an unexpected Tony award, Kurt Hummel is Broadway's hottest up and coming star, which comes with expectations and some admirers that won't take a hint. When his best friend Elliott Gilbert suggests that they pretend to date to get the leeches to back off, Kurt takes him up on the idea. It's all working out great - until Kurt starts to fall hard for the dark-haired music director of his latest musical.

9) Out of Eden by @wowbright

As a gay Mormon, Kurt Hummel has decided to go the rest of his life without falling in love. But toward the end of his two years as a missionary in Germany, Elder Anderson moves into his apartment—and Kurt's best-laid plans fall apart.

#2023 Klaine Bingo #Klaine fanfic #klaine fanfiction #glee fanfiction

[hokkyokusei]

Characters' body proportions, "long legs syndrome" or why some people create hatred for the sake of hatred

First, let me explain to people who may not understand how proportions work in drawing.

I also want to remind you of a simple truth: change is not bad. Note: I took extra art classes in elementary school for 4 years and then completed 5 art classes(years) at art school. During my last years of study I had the most wonderful teachers. Still love one of these teachers so much.

And that is why I am sure that what is now considered a trend and supposedly the norm is a VERY BIG mistake.

I've noticed a trend of hate towards Onmyoji's game developers, and while I agree with some of their f#ck-ups, I still want to remind you that there are PEOPLE LIKE US working there. Hateful comments are not constructive criticism!

So who here thinks that the characters supposedly have “long legs syndrome”? Where and how did you get this information and who told you THAT THIS IS TRUE?

I was just furious when I read this nonsense on Weibo, the worst thing is that people don’t even understand this and blindly believe it! Don't blindly believe everything the Internet gives you! You can always check for yourself or find people who understand this topic!

Today I found out that the art team has changed and we can actually see that this seems to be true as the latest designs have changed.

I see a bunch of accusations and dissatisfaction against the developers that they draw incorrectly. Again, has anyone seen a sensible answer other than just a comparison of heights compared to previous works?

Secondly, I want to break down this stupid idea of long leg syndrome in characters.

The correct proportions in drawing are considered to be 7-8 heads from head to toe.

Hair growth, heels, levitation and other attributes are absolutely NOT taken into account. Only the skull and so the heads need to be counted 7-8.

There are times when artists can draw up to 9 heads in height. For example, big heroes.

Individual haracteristics, injuries (for example, a hernia in the back will make the height shorter, too tall growth will slightly change the proportions) must be taken into account.

The people “with long legs syndrome” are you and I look like in reality. Frequently, this is a European type of appearance. Asians, for example, have lower butts than Europeans (tested on Koreans lol), that’s why they think that our legs are longer, although they are also beautiful in proportion.

But another fun fact: we don’t have ideal proportions, because our fingers, arms, legs, etc. are longer and shorter by a few millimeters invisible to us.

But we're talking about basic anatomy in drawing, right? Teenagers and children have different proportions, but since they were not compared, I won’t describe them here; if you’re interested, you can find them on the Internet.

Proportions also differ between men and women.

+ in humans, proportions change with age.

For those who compare with the old character models in the game: Apparently, the art team has changed. So now they do what they want. And they do it competently and correctly in terms of proportions in the drawing. I don't judge past artists; Every creative person sees things differently. But the game continues to develop and this is ABSOLUTELY normal and natural. I don't think that old models will be remade for the sake of correct proportions, they will be optimized, but not completely remade in a new way. I think it's cool, kind of showing respect to those who originally worked on the character model.

People suffer every day and express their hatred online. I do not defend the mistakes of the developers, but I also ask you not to incite hatred everywhere without understanding the topic well.

Also remember that sometimes mistakes happen. As one wonderful mangaka said when asked about the difference in the height of characters on different pages of the manga: there was an uneven floor somewhere!

I hope this post has helped you and now you see things from a different perspective. If you have questions, you can ask them here or in DM.

And if you have the chance, send this post to people who believe in "long legs syndrome" characters, or send them to the Internet to google information about correct proportions (o˘◡˘o)

#onmyoji #onmyoji susanoo #onmyoji tsukuyomi #onmyoji susabi #onmyoji izanagi #onmyoji taki #onmyoji cn server news

[piinktearxs]

welcome to munchkin's blog!!

about me page new regressor on tumblr? I gotchu :)

my fics/headcanons!!

BYF, you should know that:

blank blogs will be blocked, if you’re a new user send me a dm to let me know!!!

This blog focuses on agere, my many fandoms (mostly mcu and spn), arfid recovery (and sometimes sensory issues kid rants), and regular internet goofing around, that being said, because of the mixed interests, it might not be suitable for all and that's okay!

this is 100% a sfw blog, and i don’t feel comfortable with kink or abdl in it

I am not in any way looking for a romantic/sexual relationship, and any intent of one will be blocked, however I love having mutuals!! Message me if you wanna talk!! I also love tag games so I'm super down to be tagged (ask me if it's the first time though) :))

This is a follow-up blog to my old one, also with the user piinktearxs, so yeah if I followed you there and I follow you again, just stating, I am not a bot!!

This blog is my safe space, and anyone who makes me uncomfortable will be blocked

DNI:

anyone who fits in my DNI criteria will automatically be blocked, I usually check out new followers's blogs to check, but please have the courtesy to read my DNI before following, it's greatly appreciated!!

abdl, ddlg

anyone with graphic diaper imagery on blog (aka showing crotch pics and all that, nothing against, just have a bad history and it makes me uncomfy)

If you're gonna pick fights, kindly fuck off

If you think cringe-culture (AKA harassing/bullying people over having interests you dont like) is "cool"

map or 'minor attracted person', a pedophile - basically

ableist (this includes people who are against self diagnosis too!)

lgbtphobic (lesbophobic, homophobic, biphobic, panphobic, transphobic, exclusionist, etc)

transmed/truscum, radfem, terf

anti neopronouns or xenogenders

xenophobic

anti non-she/her lesbians or non-he/him gays

exclusionist

radical inclusionist

pro amab trans men/afab trans women

anti-semitic

nazi/nazi sympathizer

pro israel

anti palestine

pro-life

if your blog romantiicizes, mental ilness, ED's, rape, incest or SH

porn blogs

Please like this post to confirm you have read it :)

[sushicha]

I'm feeling very grateful for Shourtney right now! This has nothing to do with the ship, but everything to do with Shayne and Courtney and how they've helped me grow as a person!

So growing up, my parents weren't very strong influences in my personal development, so I always tell people I was practically raised by the internet and was obsessed with YouTube since I was 8 years old (I'm 24 now...). But I've spent so much of my life surfing through garbage trying to find positive influences. There were times I was almost sucked into the alt-right pipeline, and even though I was eventually guided to the left, I made it through so much shit that I'm still unpacking a lot of the bullshit I consumed...

Rediscovering Smosh and the cast was a GODSEND! Not only is Smosh non-problematic and left-leaning, it's a COMEDY GROUP? Y'all have no idea how rare that is... so many creators out there whose sense of humor is being as offensive and edgy as possible. I just like silly content, dude. And Smosh is IT, man. Their stuff was cool back when it was Ian and Anthony, but modern Smosh is just SOOOOO good 😭

I was in an extremely toxic work environment for the last 4 years (toxic masculinity, homophobia, racism, misogyny, you name it...), and I'm so glad I rediscovered Smosh around that time. I became obsessed and watched everything they put out because it was in such stark contrast to the environment I was in.

Shayne became my biggest influence because he's so outwardly not a toxic masculine man. Very respectful, very understanding, very uplifting, just trying to make everyone laugh and feel good about themselves. I know he's pretty traditionally masculine, but I'm also that way and I just can't stand how many men get sucked into this idea of never showing emotion, never being vulnerable, hating the powerless, hating anything remotely considered feminine... he's none of that. I've spent my entire adult life trying to purge all my internalized misogyny and toxic traits (it's not easy!) and he's been such a great influence in that way. And his influence over my sense of humor has been GALACTIC. His humor isn't at anyone's expense but (sometimes) himself, and that's the best way to be funny is to just be as silly and ironic of an entertainer as possible. It's everything I aspire to be. I just wish he dressed a little better sometimes, LMAO 💀

If Shayne is my yang, Courtney is my yin! Courtney represents everything I've come to love and appreciate about personal growth, self-expression, and femininity (even though I know they're NB). They're SO weird and SO not afraid to be themself, even at the risk of seeming "cringe". But I freaking love it, dude! It takes so much pressure off of trying to be perfect and fit into everyone's box, and I think that's what makes them so funny and entertaining! They're so... authentic. And Courtney's always the one to uplift the vibes, to bounce off people's energy, to bring out everyone's potential. They have this natural charisma that makes it insanely difficult not to want them to be in every video. And they've grown SO MUCH in the last 4 years! You would think 2018 Courtney vs. 2022 Courtney are completely different people! Getting to witness that change in real-time was soooo epic. And them understanding their own identity helped me reevaluate my own understanding of gender, masculinity, and femininity. I'm still cishet, but I think it's important that everyone have a thorough understanding of themselves and Courtney got me to explore those questions more than I ever would have.

Putting Shayne and Courtney in a room together makes actual magic, y'all. Everything I just said about them individually, put that TOGETHER. PLACE AN EXPONENT AT THE END OF THAT SHIT 👏 They bring out the best in each other, and it makes for some of the most entertaining shit. Like yes, I'm a Shourtney shipper, but dating or not, they are an unrivaled duo and I'm here for every minute of it.

Y'all, I was DEVASTATED when they cancelled Smoshcast. I listened to it every week at work because it was so refreshing listening to such intelligent and adorable humans talk about life vs. the sea of brainless testosterone I was drowning in 😓 AND COULD YOU IMAGINE SMOSHCAST NOW??? A BRAND NEW COURTNEY, ALL THESE NEW CAST AND CREW MEMBERS, ALL THE STORIES THEY WOULD HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME??? I get why they cancelled Smoshcast, they want to focus on other stuff, but man, it still hurts 🥺 I'M FINE

ok RANT OVER, GO AWAY 😌❤️

#shartney #shourtney #smosh #shayne topp #courtney miller

[fandomchokehold]

I didnt wanna harass your comments so ill ask here, I'd love to add Samson to my small growin collection of people's peeps in bg3 that I get to doodle randomly and with my own. But before I accidentally draw em in a way he wouldn't act, who's the boy?

I see The Good Doctor and can assume from that a bit, and don't worry if ya didnt think that much about it. I'm weird with a old dnd character of mine as my Tav so I think too much into Tavs and their stories and know not everyone does XD

That's so cool! I would be honored for Samson to be a part of that group and don't worry I've been working on his personality and backstory since before I had the game lmao

full warning I've never played D&D so stuff is probably gonna be but I did what I could with a basic map of Faerun and the internet lol

full name is Samson Silversten, high half elf bard, he/him, 31 y/o

he's a 6'4" beanpole with broad shoulders and a strong (well strong for 9 strength) back and upper arms; he's practically covered in light freckles and has heterochromia (his right eye is a rich brown and his left is a golden hazel)

he's demisexual homoromantic which is basically just he's only romantically attracted to men and can only be sexually attracted to someone he knows well and is good friends with, basically romantic feelings have to exist before he can feel remotely sexually attracted (I hope that made sense?)

the most self indulgent part of this character is that he's Irish (his human dad was) and in my head he sounds like Hozier, both speaking and singing

his preferred instrument is the violin but he can also play the lute

he's somewhere between lawful good and lawful neutral, basing most of his morals on the doctor's oath and code of ethics and trying so hard to avoid violence at all costs though he knows when it's necessary like with the goblins in Act 1

he's a bit of a hoarder; he keeps every weapon, article of clothing, tool, food and drink, and gold piece he finds, but he will happily toss all that aside to fill his inventory with any medicinal item, book, or magic artifact for Gale

at camp he can usually be found at his tent or by the lake engrossed in some necromantic tome or copying surgical illustrations from medical textbooks into his personal journal

he loves taking early morning swims before anyone else has woken up (he's shy lol)

he is soooooo autistic (as am I) and will often get frustrated by things he doesn't immediately understand, sometimes goes non-speaking for a bit if he's overstimulated (usually by mouth noises)

for a bard he's not particularly suave or charismatic, usually reserving flowery language for songs and poetry

his main passion is medicine, he wants to be a doctor so he can help anyone in need while also contributing to the progression of science, he also has an interest in necromancy but couldn't afford wizard tuition 😔

actually got all of his proper medical knowledge from the library and "borrowing" material from private institutions like Blackstaff (he actually did borrow them since he would break in again and return them after copying everything into his own journals)

his mom who was a sun elf taught him everything he knows about medicinal plants while his human dad taught him everything he knows about baking, although he can't cook for shit (thank god he marries Gale)

his other skills he picked up while working on a ship as a kid after his parents died include fishing, tying knots, navigating the stars, sailing, and swordfighting; he's especially good with a rapier

I can't reiterate enough how much he loves medicine and being a doctor he will help anyone in need of medical assistance like one time he wasted some salve and gauze on a rat in an alley cuz it was bleeding out from losing its foot; the rat lived lmao

he's very sweet and chooses to see the good in everyone, also fairly perceptive; Astarion didn't need to bite him for Sam to know he was a vampire he could tell as soon as they met but didn't say anything cuz it was Astarion's business to tell him

he gets flustered and shy very easily when people are obviously hitting on him, usually at a loss for words just goes beet red and wide eyed, tries everything he can to leave (Lae'zel: "I want to taste you" Samson: 🏃‍♂️💨)

I think that's about it sorry if it's a lot this isn't even the half of it lol

Thank you again for being interested in Samson! I appreciate you wanting to draw him and you've actually encouraged me to post some of the things I've written for him so I'll have to work on finishing those when I have a day off 💕

#answering asks #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 tav #samson silversten #long post

[thewickedlywenchy]

I’m curious, what made you start posting nudes of yourself? Was it a dare? Was it to push you past a limit of some type? Or was it more of a fuck it your an adult and you’ll do what you want?

Honestly, it was more of a "Fuck You" kinda thing towards my partner at the time. I've been posting nudes or sexy content somewhere on the internet for over 20 years.

Long before tumblr I did Yahoo groups, and Google groups. Yeah....I'm really THAT OLD! I owned and moderated several bbw themed groups and was a member of lots of others that were "adult"

Then along came tumblr.

My partner found it first and asked if he could take a pic or 2 and post it. I said sure go for it. Then I got to looking around and thought, this place looks like fun! Yahoo and Google were phasing out groups at that time and I was really mostly interested in just having a little fun and being able to post or share adult content (not just porn or nudes but memes and stuff you really wouldn't want your family to see on facebook).

He would spend hours and hours online and most of his attention was going towards tumblr and porn. Our sex life was shit, I was mad, jealous, and hurt that he paid more attention to those women than he did to the one he could actually have. So I created my own tumblr, with a slight variation of this same screen name and I started taking my own photos and sharing them online. I found several tumblr folks that asked for submissions and I started submitting and things just snowballed from there. And just to be petty, I would submit to the partners tumblr page as well. And when he would post it was my photos that got the bigger reaction than the professional porn he would spend all day looking for to share. He eventually quit tumblr because he got really sick of people constantly sending him asks about me and our relationship. I guess it's one of those things where you see the person you live with everyday and you can't understand why she's such a big deal to everyone else.

I'm not gonna lie to you.....the attention was fun. And I loved that I had landed amongst people who truly loved bigger women. It was also very empowering and did a lot for my confidence. And it was really fucking cool that I had such a variety of people following me. Couples, older men, young men, single women. Women would tell me they loved my confidence AND that I was funny and a sweet person and apparently I'm super relatable & approachable as well.

So.....I hope that sorta answers your question??

I've made so many friends on tumblr and I treasure them all. Some of the folks here with me now have been along on this crazy ride with me from the very beginning. I think before the crackdown on adult content I had been here about 5 to 6 years and the day I got pissed off because Tumblr kept smacking down my videos for violating TOS and I hit delete on my blog I had over 250,000 followers. Had OF and sites like that one existed at the time I'd be pretty damn well off now.

I stayed away and wandered the internet and found a few other places to post. But nothing is as fun as tumblr imo. And when they said we could be naked again I came back....lol.

It's caused a misunderstanding with my current relationship but I have told him really he has nothing to worry about. I think as long as I send him more stuff than I actually put on my tumblr and I don't get over the top explicit with my comments he's ok with it.....I'm bratty so sometimes it's like walking a tightrope....lol.

Great question!

[dogboyklug]

comic one - the second one - [you are here!]

yeah

transcript under cut

...and now its been like a year since i started this comic

and i completely forgot to finish it. oops

well less forgot and more like...

got into a new fandom, had to get a new laptop AND phone, started focusing my internet activism on genocide instead of transness, got burnt out like five billion times, met a bunch of new people, started dating another person, dissociated for several months, celebrated the new year, got so terrified of the fact that might get backlash for this comic i didnt make another one, TRIED to make another one but had like five breakdowns,

and then

forgot

but uh

at least i know how to draw sam now!!

sorta

yay

So, now, with such a big pause, have things changed for the better?

Am I living my best life, finally on T? Or aT LEAST have i FINALLY gotten over ALL of my internalized transphobia (men variety)?

well uh no

in fact things are kind of

worse sometimes...

*new fandom has so much fatphobia it sucks

*there is still a group of trans women online whose sole purpose in life is to hate all trans men

*theres still a genoicde going on

i wish this comic couldve followed a "past, present, future" format where, in which, the last comic would wrap the whole thing up smoothly and i would have some sort of message of peace or hope or joy to give

an assurance that my life, and the lives of all trans people, and all people from cultures ravaged by colonisation and erasure wouldnt be for nothing, and that everything would be fine in the end

but im almost 18 and i cant say that like at all

everythings getting worse and i am not a wise old man with epic awesome knowledge and a cool beard

this comic mostly just exists as a thank you letter so

thank you

thank you to everyone who read the first two and to everyone whos reading this one and to the person who mentioned all male character options in videogames (esp in the 2010s) are ugly as sin. you are so right

maybe someday ill make a comic abt my experiences as a frisian trans man with the full knowledge of my history and a happy ending to make up for it all

(caps) Probably not though (end caps)

ok you guys get 1 happy

here's my favorite transmasc ocs of mine

tuyen sango, my agent 3, best bro

feathers chilufya-janstra, my favorite 30-year-old nerd

masa, my actual hero (she turns 3 this year!!!)

and hjalmar, i've had him for 10 minutes but i love him still. heart emoji

so uh

yeah

thanks for reading

#comic #trans #transgender #webcomic #transmasc #transmasculine #klug's ocs #klug's sketches #uhoh comic #id #transcript

[whysojiminimnida]

jk in bed with jm "you're mine", then he changes room and go in tae's bed saying "you're mine". what a boyfriend (of?....i don't know, he has 2 boyfriends at this point)

Now there's a fanfiction for ya, anon. DISCLAIMER THIS IS AN ALL-ASK ANSWER AND IS NOT SPECIFIC TO THIS ANON OKAY OKAY ANYWAY HERE WE GOOOOO

Now personally I stan a poly king, I don't know your A/S/L (that's Old People Internet for age/sex/location) but as legal adults of as-yet-undetermined but definitely not 100% straight orientation, I'd say GET OFF THEIR DICKS AND LET PEOPLE LIVE.

FFS anon. You out here thinking Tae and Jimin wouldn't be getting it on if they wanted to? They absolutely would IF, and it's a really big IF, Tae was even into guys or Jimin was even interested like that.

But at no time before or since "get out of your imagination, it's not good there" has Taehyung EVER said he was into either of them like that. And if it was one of them it wouldn't be Kook. I MEAN SOULMATES OR WHATEVER Tae has to be all cool with everyone else but with Jimin he can let his derp face fly and let the pretty man steal his hat--

Meanwhile Jungkook will toy with y'all because YOU WANT HIM TO SO BADLY YOU SAY THAT SHIT IN HIS INSTAGRAM AND ON WEVERSE FFS you kids left boundaries back there in 2016 well before some of y'all knew what a tumblr even WAS. Oh sure. He jokes he giggles he flirts because IT IS HIS JOB and make no mistake HE IS AT WORK answering your asses, WFH is a thing, but sometimes he has enough because y'all literally cannot simply WATCH A VLIVE AND READ A ROOM.

At this point if you're NOT picking up what the Jeon-Parks are throwing down EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM then I honestly have to assume you are a virgin, stupid, or so repressed you can't see daylight. It's more than obvious to literally anyone who gets laid on the regular, goes outdoors and has friends. And it's beyond incomprehensible if you still don't get it. Honestly it's Theatre of the Absurd. Jungkook has to truly believe you're joking. HE HAS THE SUN (or perhaps a sunflower) TATTOOED ON HIS ARM WHERE A TIGER USED TO BE FFS. Like

do wish that Hangul made an all-caps version BUT IT DOESN'T AND WHY NOT I WANT TO KNOW but I digress. He did say this. Again. Fourth time in a row kids. And you don't think he gets fifty million Tae questions every time he goes live? He does. He only answers them when there has been a Meeting about Keeping It On The Low While The Exemptions Are Still In Legislation. Y'all think I'm kidding. I am not kidding. That happened.

Meeting or not, though, Jungkook is the man to tell you. Jimin is HIS. Not his, not heh-heh-that's-cute his, not we bffs casual his, HIS. Loudly. Dude bout yelled the airpods out my ears. And then goes on to play a little, flirt a little, give the fans what they want but eventually he has had enough. I mean y'all might not have noticed but THE VIDEO ENDED ON HIS TELLING PEOPLE OFF like damn, sir. We understand you are an adult. We got it. You're GROWN OKAY.

... And some of this fandom needs to get out of these men's assholes before they can't even get a proper colonoscopy because there's too many raging solo stans up in there telling a guy how to live. .

#okay so that was long #anon #all yall got shit to say istg #consider this a one answer fits all situation #we stan a poly king or 3 what #we stan a poly king in this house #jeon parks continue jeonparking despite your opinion #must be 2022 at the jeon park household #taehyung #taehyung is awesome #istg kanmom said ride in on your white donkey and i lost my shit and spit my starbucks onto my sheets and had to do laundry #my answers suck by comparison but here we are #jikook #jimin #jungkook #jeikei #jeikei more like jaygay get into it #y'all never gonna let taehyung have a girlfriend not one time are you

[soudakuwunmoment]

expressing my take on dream is how i finally get cancelled but tbh im ready.

so i just watched the moistcritical video on whatever bullshit happened on twitter regarding him.

i wanna establish that im not exactly a dream fan. i dont watch videos of his or really anyone from that part of youtube. i dont think hes that great of a person necessarily.

also, i want to establish that i am an idiot 18yo boy. ight? im not some kind of expert on this shit. its literally just my take. its an opinion. and im putting it on the internet. as people tend to do.

okay. recap. dream allegedly sent snapchat videos of him moaning to a minor. there is zero proof that the video was from him, and zero proof that it was sent to a minor. then the fight between dream and gumballva. oh my god. guys. god i cant even with this bit. alright alright ill get to it

im gonna completely fuckin disregard the snapchat thing. theres absolutely no proof. innocent until proven guilty, as it goes.

about the fight between dream and gbva. holy shit stop taking sides. both of these men are immature man babies whos fame got to their head. "it was a physical fight!!!!!!" believe it or not, drunk slapfights happen sometimes. just because the fight was between two famous guys doesnt make it any more important or significant.

gbva was referring to himself as Michelangelo. he was saying how dream is "miniscule compared to him" like the worlds most pathetic dick measuring competition. he mentioned his "intellectual stature" guys. my friend told me about how the gumball va TOTALLY BURNED DREAM and DESTROYED HIM so i had high expectations. but no. the guys just stroking his own ego and shittalking some other guy, and people are hype about it because the other guy is dream and OOOOOOO DREAM BAD GUYS.... and because gumball is pretty well loved as a show. he called dream a slur. like on one hand, it is INSANE to me that a famous guy called someone a slur and twitter cheered. on the other hand its actually not that big a deal. yes, slurs and homophobia are a big deal. but let me reiterate that this is literally just two drunk dudes trying to roast each other and failing miserably. a slur isnt going to end the world. like it isnt cool that he said it, he shouldnt have said it, but honestly what the fuck ever. people are being killed in mass rn and this is what we're arguing about and im part of the problem so WAHOO.

and then theres the fact that dream recorded it. guys its not that fucking weird. im sorry to burst your bubble but recording arguments or recording when someone is aggressive towards you isnt abnormal. was it a little bit dramatic and incredibly childish to post it on twitter? yeah!!! duh!!! this is dream we're talking about. dramatic. childish. but the thing is, and hear me out, hes allowed to do that. insane as it may be, humans are allowed to be dramatic and childish. humans are allowed to brag about their "intellectual stature" in a cab after a night out. humans are allowed to be flawed. no, i dont think he was recording it due to feeling unsafe. i do in fact believe he was recording it to start drama. i believe whole heartedly that dream recorded the argument hoping his teenaged fanbase would run to his rescue. and you know what? who gives a shit!! are you actually surprised? are you REALLY? because dream very obviously has something wrong in his head. im not saying that the shit he does is okay because of it. but i want everyone reading this right now to imagine how you would realistically cope if you suddenly became famous during the fucking plague at the ripe ass age of 21 in the span of a month and then spent the next 3 years being either worshipped by children in mass or brutally harassed by literally the entire world. because believe it or not, 21 year olds are immature and are not normally equipped to deal with a situation like that. its entirely possible that dream already had issues, and its also entirely possible that he FORMED issues in the past 3 years due to the intense stress of his situation. dream is fucked up. dream has issues.

but listen to me. as far as we know, dream is not a pedophile or a murderer or a racist or a homophobe or any of that shit. sure, hes awful at babysitting each and every one of his bajillion preteen fans, but thats kinda not his fucking responsibility??? if a kid is going around doing awful shit in the name of some guy, blame the kids parents. its their job to teach their kid how to act online and around other people. and sure, dream is very very likely a narcissist and seems to be incapable of criticism and needs attention constantly or else he keels over like a scared gerbil and dies. hes kind of a shitty fuckin guy!! BUT GUESS. WHAT. so is like 70% of the population!!!! most of us are fucking awful!!

i know i cant change shit, i know id get bodied by even a single dream anti. i just wish people would stop giving him attention, leave him the fuck alone, and let him get therapy or spend a year in the woods or smoke some fucking weed idk.

seeing the reaction people have to literally just some schmuck makes me TERRIFIED of putting myself out there. can we all just accept that everyone is flawed and sometimes good people have shitty takes or do shitty things. if you had the same exposure to the world that dream did, how quickly would YOU get cancelled? im just. im fucking begging you to look at this guy (and other equally underwhelming schmucks) with a critical mind and context to why you may see them the way you do.

im not tagging this shit i dont hate myself that much. i dont mind if no one reads this i just wanna rant. just leave the guy be.

[frostbite-merun]

Well Known Knights of the Round Table Ranked

King Arthur: ???/10 So he's weird because his whole deal is that he's a Good King. The interpretation of what that is varies from person to person so he's wildly different across pretty much everything. Is he a noble and somber figure doing his best? Is he a kind of dumb but well meaning golden retriever of a man? Is he a mighty warrior and shrewd politician? Depending on the person, yes. And while that's really cool, it means I can't really rate the character because there's a million different versions of him. There's also interpretations where he's the antagonist to Lancelot and Guinevere's Whole Deal because I guess it's easier to excuse cheating by twisting the cheated-on character into a jackass. Just make it polyamorous you COWARDS

Sir Lancelot: 9/10 Fundamentally changed the entire canon and story. He's been awarded with the 'Most Accidental Teamkills' award and was voted 'Biggest Drama Queen in Camelot' 7 years running. He's inherently funny as a concept as the world's most popular OC do not steal, doubly funny taking into account that he also caused what I suspect to be the first instance of Vriscourse-esque fandom drama. Legendary. Also he's bisexual and if you give me like a week in The Hole I think that I can find pre-internet sources for this.

Sir Kay: 9/10 Unfortunately overlooked in later works considering he's A) King Arthur's adopted brother B) Funnie and C) A good foil to a lot of the other characters. He's a hothead, bully, braggart, and a jokey kind of guy with more pride than sense that's usually there to get his shit kicked in a bit. A good chunk of knights also have him talking shit at them as their entire motivation for going off on a grand quest. They can't put him in gritty reimaginings because he'd make them too much fun to read/watch. Though I DO admit that he has the potential to be very, very annoying if written poorly. I'd also like to note that he's avoided being made into a perfect-pure-special-Christian-boy-who-does-the-chivalry for over 2000 years and has maintained his shithead status. King.

The G Boys (Gawain, Gareth, aGravaine, and Gaheris): 6/10 I wish people would stop forgetting that Gaheris and Agravaine exist and/or mashing all four of these men into One Guy. I understand the irony of me giving them a shared entry but this is a long post and they're all brothers. It's nice that Gawain got some love recently with the 2021 movie Green Knight. And by love I mean good lord people were horny for Dev Patel. Also Gareth is canonically Baby. He is the ultimate Little Brother.

Sir Mordred: 10/10 MORGAN LE FAY IS NOT HIS MOM. Shoulders the whole final act of the legend as the antagonist. Let's be honest, he'd be a Tumblr sexyman if more people knew about him. He ticks all the boxes: Misunderstood, pale, dark hair, a bit evil, tragic backstory (incest), rebellious... Personally I'd love to see him break containment and take the Sexyman Crown he so rightfully deserves. Duck from Thomas the Tank Engine managed it, so I don't see why he can't.

Sir Bedivere (Bedwyr if you're a REAL gamer): 10/10 I do not CARE if I am biased. This man is my BLORBO. He HAS BEEN since I was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. And I am VERY UPSET that the most common spelling of his name is borderline un-google-able because of the Fate Series. I am ASSAULTED by mildly horny images of anime men that I wasn't looking for. I was LOOKING for scraggly Welshmen. It's like accidentally taking a sip of someone else's drink. I wanted COKE not TEA dammit. At least they remembered that he has a prosthetic hand. He and Arthur possess the only braincell in Camelot.

Sir Griflet: 10/10 This guy is functionally a different character from who he initially was. Who did he used to be, you ask? Nothing big, nothing important just a minor welsh faerie deity. I don't know how he got added to the canon but I'm glad he did. Now he's Bedivere and Lucan's cousin and sometimes trades places with Bedivere as the last survivor of the final battle who chucks Excalibur into the lake. I like to think of him as a faerie who just showed up, convinced Bedivere and Lucan that he's their cousin, and hangs around Camelot because he finds it all interesting. Lastly: He has like... a hundred different names.

Sir Tristan: 6/10 Look his whole deal is that he's sad. Not sad as in like... pathetic but experiencing the emotion of sadness. That is what he's known for. His name is SYNONYMOUS with being sad. The ORIGINAL Sadboy. He would have an emo cut with those weird checkerboard streaks if he lived in 2007.

Sir Galahad: 0/10 The most inherently funny character in the canon. He was invented as a middle finger to Lancelot. He EXISTS because people were mad at Lancelot. He is THE purest HOLIEST mostest special boy. We're talking 'angels come down to take him away to Heaven' special. The only reason that he's a 0/10 is because I am mad that he steals Percival's role in a lot of stuff or gets mashed with him to form a Dragon Ball Fusion.

Sir Percival: 9/10 To be perfectly honest I only like this guy as much as I do because he has the coolest name out of all the knights. He's a pretty generic 'super cool and special and handsome and chivalrous' sort of knight... But I do not care. He has a cool name and I vibe with the aesthetic it conjures in my brain whenever I read it. I'm not alone in this based on all the adventures he was given until they got given to Galahad which sort of implies that he's the blueprint for the 'godly and virtuous knight who does chivalry'.

Sir Dagonet: 10/10 This guy is great and I'm pretty sure he was almost a meme a few years back??? I just remember getting blindsided by seeing a bunch of tumblr posts about him a few years back. He started his existence as just an asshole braggart who existed to make some of the other knights look better, then a violent, bloodthirsty crazy guy, and now he's a beloved jester who got knighted. I'm a fan of the jester interpretation myself because good lord there's enough 'violent man accidentally murders people' guys running around and Kay covers the 'braggart asshole foil' role in a less obnoxious way. I imagine him with silly little jester bells tied to his armor whenever he goes out on quests.

#text post #arthurian legend #arthurian mythology #long post #knights of the round table #I'm just going to bite the bullet one of these days and write my own adaptation #and then write a second one but with mechs