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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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❛ A NIGHTMARE ❜

with Angel Reyes.

Request: Hi I know requests are closed but can you do something with angel x reader where the reader is on her period and she’s grumpy and just wants angel and angel is in the backyard with the guys just drinking and chilling and she kicks em all out and is just really sassy with the guys if you can? 💖

BY ANON

Warnings: none.

Word count: about 1.1k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist.

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One hour ago you wrote to Angel a text message, asking him about when he was coming home, but he hasn't replied to you yet. Letting a heavy snort escape from your lips, you decide to call him. But after six tones, you desist. Your stomach hurts a little and you are in a mix of your two moods: kill someone and need cuddling. There's no more ice cream in the freezer and you have already finished the warm mint tea. Rubbing your forehead with a hand, you get up from the sofa to walk towards your shared bed. Wearing a pair of shorts under Angel's shirt and grabbing the keys of your car, you leave the house in silence. Stopping cursing about him, determined to bring him back to home. Tonight is the peak of your period and you really need your boyfriend with you.

Driving through the main avenue of Santo Padre, you reach the scrapping, hearing the loud crowd yard with the windows of your car up. Frowning a little, you park it at the entrance, after turning it to the street, so this way will be easier to leave the clubhouse as soon as you find him. Having a quick look of the place, you don't see him outside, guessing that maybe he's inside playing pool or doing Mayans shit. Greeting others members on your way to it, you jump the three steps to open the door. You know him better than anyone. He's leaning over the pool table with a stick between his hands, about to hit a green ball. Cross-armed, you lead your step towards there, raising an eyebrow and waiting for him to notice your presence. Hitting the ball, he stands up to watch triumphant how it falls through the hole.

“Angel!”

He jumps slightly with a soft shiver touring his body.

“Fuck! You're gonna kill me”. He complains.

“Yeah, I'm gonna fucking kill you”.

You can hear some Vicki's bitches chuckling behind you. The same that usually say that you boss ‘the poor Angel’ around.

“Yo! What's that aggressiveness, mi dulce?”

“I've been calling you, and texting you”.

“I was busy”. He just says with a little high-pitched voice.

“Playing pool with your friends like every fucking day?”

“Yea—I MEAN, no”.

The crew is really enjoying it.

“Querida, we were through club business. Why don't you sit, have a beer, have some f—?”

“Who the fuck told you to be the devil's advocate, Obispo?” Turning at him with a peaceful gesture on your face, you can see him almost shaking, laughing nervously.

The bitches stop their whispers, when they watch you facing El Presidente like that.

“Oh, she has the period…” Taza figures it out from the farthest corner of the clubhouse. The voice of wisdom.

“Why the fuck do you think I'm hiding?” Angel asks so naturally, until he realizes what he has just said.

A disgusting sensation squeezes your guts and your chest, biting your bottom lip as you nod twice in silence. You don't need to see the look on the others' faces to see how disappointed they are too, because of his comment.

“I'm sorry, Prez…” You mutter at the older, rubbing your nose with your forefinger about to cry, licking your upper lip about to cry.

“Quer—”.

“It's okay”.

“Baby, I didn't mean t—”.

“It's okay, Angel”. You mumble raising both hands to stop his steps. “Sorry to interrupt, guys”.

Keeping your hands in the pocket of the short jeans, you walk outside to your car. Are you this insufferable to make Angel hide himself from you? The only thing you want to do is lie down on your sofa, with him. Watch some movies, eat junk food. And you are starting to think that maybe those bitches are right, about that Angel is not someone for you, and you're not someone for him.

“Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Taza asks, leaning over the table, frowning confused.

“You have an amazing girl that loves you unconditionally, when you are a pendejo, and you treat her like that?” Tranq adds, pointing at the door you crossed seconds ago.

“Yeah, brother. I would do anything for a girl asking me to spoil her”. Gilly says, raising both eyebrows.

“She is too intense sometimes”. Angel tries to justify himself, not knowing that he is very wrong.

“We were wrong with (Y/N). You're a fucking asshole, Angel”. Daniela, one of Vicki's girls, is looking at him without can't believe his words. “We are for a damn week bleeding like if we were a fucking cascade, wrapped in pain. Sometimes we can't even sleep. We're tired the whole time, and that makes us feel sad, upset. What the fuck is wrong with you, Reyes?”

“Yeah, if I ask my boyfriend to spoil me a little while having my period and he acts like you… Damn, I would go to his house to pick up my things and send him to hell”. Mariela says then.

Angel looks at EZ, being the most intelligent person in the clubhouse.

“Don't look at me, I would stab you with the stick”.

Silence.

“Several times. Until breaking it into splinters”.

“And then I would roll up your face over them”.

Everybody turns at Coco, who is having a smoke from his cig shrugging.

“I thi—think I gotta go…”

“Actually, you shouldn't have come”. Bishop nods, narrowing his eyes and pursing his lips.

You have been crying for almost thirty minutes, with your head resting on the steering wheel, not wanting to come home. Just parked in front of the building. You can't stop thinking about the faces around you, not knowing what to say about Angel's comment. It was an inopportune one. And maybe it is your fault to complain too much sometimes, but he hasn't the right to treat you like that.

A knuckle hits some times the window, enough to call your attention. Lifting up your head, to lie back on the pilot seat, you roll down the glass turning your face to Angel.

“Change your seat”. He just says, opening the door when you unlock it.

Your boyfriend sits in without saying a word, driving out of the neighborhood, without you knowing the destination. The next time you raise your eyes from your lap is because the car has stopped. In front of a big twenty-four-hour shop. You don't say anything either, stepping out of it. Taking off his kutte, on your way to the inside, he places it over your shoulders and under his arm, grabbing a shopping basket.

“Take everything you want”. He just says kissing your temple.

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#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes

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elisela · 3 years

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here comes the sun (ao3) derek x stiles x allison, g, established relationship, fluff an: i didn’t think i’d go from idly considering derek/allison and stiles/allison to a poly relationship but @tylerhunklin shamelessly enabled me so here we are!

Derek wakes up next to the woman he loves with hair tickling his nose.

Sprawled out on the bed, nearly on top of her from the way they’d moved in their sleep, fingers curled around the arm she has stretched out towards the cold, empty side. He nuzzles into her skin, nose brushing against the wispy hair at the back of her neck, before rolling off her and stretching, gripping the headboard with both hands over his head.

She makes a protesting noise when he gets off the bed but simply buries herself deeper into the blankets, and Derek leans over to kiss her exposed shoulder before pulling the sheet up to cover.

He’s cutting an avocado into slices when she comes downstairs an hour later, in too-long sweatpants that pool against the floor and a BHSD hoodie that’s half-zipped, pulled to the side and showing off her collarbone. “Hey,” she says as she shuffles up to him; they’re both like this in the mornings when they have a chance to be, syrupy slow as they meander through their routine. He finishes the avocados as she stands silently at his side until he pushes them away, and she takes the opportunity to tuck herself under his arm.

“Morning,” he says, dipping his head to kiss her when she turns her face up, minty breath ghosting over his bottom lip when he pulls back. Allison lifts herself up on her toes and chases after him with a slight pout, and he laughs and kisses her again. “Coffee’s in the fridge.”

She hums but doesn’t move except to wiggle her hands underneath his t-shirt. “Me and you today?”

“Yep,” he says, reaching out with one hand to grab the spatula and flip the eggs, one yolk breaking as he does, and turn the burner off. “We talked about rock climbing. Still want to go?”

“Absolutely,” she says. “I start nights tomorrow, though, so I need to go to bed early. Can we go before lunch?”

“Sure,” he says. He has some work to do, but he can do that after she goes to sleep. She kisses the underside of his jaw and moves away; Derek takes the thick slices of sourdough he’d toasted and butters them before arranging avocado slices on each and topping them with an egg. Allison’s hands brush across his back as she moves around the kitchen behind him, and he can hear ice clinking into glasses and coffee being poured. He doesn’t need to tell her how he wants it after so many years, just knows it’ll be the right amount of sweetness, heavy cream curling down and reaching for the bottom when he gets to the table with both their plates, the sunlight peeking through the clouds casting shadows over the room as she pulls her chair close to his and starts to eat.

Derek wakes to the sound of the man he loves dropping a pan on the stove and cursing.

He’s briefly disgruntled by the jarring wake-up until he realizes the sun has fully settled over the horizon when it should be just barely peeking through the trees. His phone, when he manages to free it from its hiding place under the blankets, shows his alarm has been turned off and it’s an hour after he’d meant to wake up.

He trudges out of bed and into the bathroom, thinks about putting on clothes but doesn’t despite the chill in the air, and is rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when he rounds the corner to the kitchen and has to stop in his tracks so he doesn’t run into the chair Stiles pulled out to drop his utility belt on and didn’t bother to push back in.

“Hey, babe,” Stiles says from the stove. Derek ignores the coffee already on the table and slides right up behind him, wrapping both arms around Stiles’ waist and squeezing. He works a button of his deputy’s shirt open and slips a hand in, using his fingers to slowly tug the undershirt up so he can get to skin. “Sleep okay?”

Derek grunts.

“Aww, bed too cold and lonely?” he teases, then sets his hand on top of Derek’s arm and squeezes. “You did sleep, didn’t you?”

“Little bit,” Derek says. It’s been a long time since he had to sleep alone, and he’d lingered in his office working on translations until after midnight, and had fallen asleep reading in bed, trying to ignore how silent the house was.

“I’ll be off nights soon,” Stiles says. He tilts his head back and turns, catching Derek’s temple, kisses trailing across his cheek and nose until they find each other’s mouth. Stiles’ lips part after a moment, teeth grazing Derek’s bottom lip before his tongue slips inside—only to pull away with a muttered curse as he turns and yanks the pan with the now overdone omelet off the burner.

Derek dips his head to press a dry kiss against his neck, knowing the next step will involve him getting an elbow to the gut if he doesn’t move now. He rubs his eyes again on the way to the table and slumps down, pulling the warm mug close, breathing in the smell of espresso and caramel until a plate clatters down in front of him.

When Stiles turns around to grab his own coffee off the counter, Derek reaches out and trades their plates, gives himself the omelet that’s brown and a little crispy on the outside and takes a large bite.

“That neighborhood yard sale is going on today,” Stiles says, glancing at his plate and shaking his head, the barest smile on his face. “I know you say we don’t need other people’s junk in the house but one man’s junk is another man’s treasure, Derek, and I heard that Michigan flag guy down the street has a set of vintage encyclopedias he’s selling, and that the dude with all the stupid stickers on his car is getting rid of one of those beach cruiser bikes and if it’s the mint green one, we’re absolutely getting it. Parrish told me that—”

Stiles keeps talking as he eats, voice going muffled as he chews, a constant patter of words chasing the silence of the last night out of Derek’s head. It feels better with him there, the darkness lifting away to a new day, and by the time they’re finished eating and clearing away the plates, Derek’s finally free of the unease he’d felt all night.

Derek wakes up with both the people he loves in bed.

Allison’s tucked against him, smooth skin under the arm he has around her waist, hair spilling down the curve of her shoulder. Her hand is on Stiles’ chest, two fingers resting on skin and the others curled around the collar of his shirt like she wants to be ready to hold him in place if he moves. Stiles is flat on his back, mouth open in the way that means he’ll complain about his throat being scratchy later, the only concession to sharing a bed with two others made in the way he stretches his leg across their space to rest his foot on Derek’s ankle.

He drifts in and out of sleep until Allison moves against him, breath catching as she wakes. “Morning,” she whispers, and as soon as Derek kisses the dip in her shoulder, she wiggles out of his grasp and straddles Stiles’ hips.

“Let him sleep,” Derek says, half-heartedly, but can’t hide his smile when Allison leans down over Stiles and lets her hair fall around his face, swishing it back and forth as Stiles twitches in his sleep.

“Wake up, lazy,” she sing-songs, and shrieks when Stiles’ arms shoot up around her before he rolls them straight into Derek. “Help, help—get off—” she laughs, groping out one hand for Derek and using the other to dig into Stiles’ side.

“You’re on your own,” he says, and Stiles looks over at him with sleepy, honey brown eyes and grins, soft and gentle before he leans in. Derek kisses him, cups a hand around the back of his neck to hold him in place for a moment. “I’m going to start breakfast. We’re leaving for the market in an hour. You want pancakes or french toast?”

“French toast, have to use the—Jesus fuck, baby, watch the nails—uh, french toast,” he says, still swatting at Allison’s hands. Derek squeezes his neck gently in confirmation and slides out of bed; by the time he’s out of the bathroom, Stiles is stretched out on top of Allison, her hands threaded in his hair.

“An hour,” he reminds them, throwing a wadded up shirt in their direction, shaking his head when Allison raises one hand and gives him a thumbs up. He’s so sure he’ll have to drag them both out of bed when the food is ready that it surprises him when they come crashing into the kitchen just fifteen minutes later, Allison on Stiles’ back, his face contorted in faux-exertion as he deposits her onto the counter and fakes collapsing on the ground.

He leans over when Allison beckons for him and kisses her, letting the fork that was in his hand fall into the egg mixture, whipped and ready to soak the bread in. She scoots close and wraps her legs around his waist; he can feel her ankles cross behind him, pulling him in as she licks into his mouth, breaks away and tilts her head to allow him access to her neck. Her nails trace delicate patterns on his bare shoulder blades as he scrapes his teeth against her skin; Stiles’ hand slaps his ass a moment later and the sound of the fork against glass starts back up as he takes over Derek’s task.

“An hour,” he intones in a grumpy, serious voice, and Allison snorts right into Derek’s ear. “If I miss the organic, free-range eggs, I’ll rip your throat out.”

“With my teeth,” Allison adds in her own—poor—imitation of Derek’s voice, and Derek pinches her side before he kisses her cheek and lets her go.

“You two should take this show on the road,” Derek says, bumping Stiles out of the way. He tries, and Derek loves him for it, but his french toast is forever undercooked because of his lack of patience. “You could make a few pennies.”

“I’m hilarious,” Stiles says airily, “and she’s pretty. We’ll make a fortune.” He plucks a few blueberries out of the carton and holds one up, squinting one eye closed before he tosses it at Allison. She misses, but catches it in her hand and lobs it back, and Derek resigns himself to being hit at least five times before breakfast is ready. They engage in this little ritual every Saturday, and are somehow no better now than they were three years ago.

Eventually—three smashed blueberries and one nearly broken glass later—he pulls the last slice out of the pan as Allison slides off the counter, the three of them moving around each other easily to get everything to the table. Stiles slides a plate of bacon onto the table and Allison reaches out to keep it from knocking into Derek’s coffee, and he smiles sheepishly as he plops into the seat across from them, kicking his feet up to rest in Derek’s lap.

“So,” Stiles says, loading up a plate and handing it over to Allison, “farmer’s market, that awful place on Pine for Lydia’s birthday gift, bookstore so Derek can lord his intelligence over us—what else?”

“Nail salon,” Allison says, and Stiles mimes praising the lord before winking at Derek. “It’s opening night at the drive-in,” she says, shooting a hopeful look at Derek. “We promise not to get kicked out this time.”

“I do not promise that,” Stiles says, “but I still think we should go.”

Derek huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes, snagging the last of the bacon; they know he’ll go along with anything they want to do. Allison’s hand drops onto his thigh, brushing across Stiles’ ankle, and he lets their familiar, comforting voices become background noise as he reaches for his coffee and gets ready to start the day.

#derek/stiles/allison #derek hale #stiles stilinski #allison argent #does this ship have a name?#if so idk it #FLUFF #shameless fluff #eli writes

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spooky-fit · 4 years

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🍀🖤10 weight loss tips for stoners🖤🌿

Aka Outsmarting the munchies.

PLAN AHEAD. like anything else regarding nutrition, a little planning goes a long way. Prepare your snacks in advance, and plan your sesh in advance. Having munchies already planned and accounted for gives you something to look forward to and helps keep you motivated!

Again, plan the sesh. Adjust your day to fit in your munchies! Shift calories for a few days so you can munch guilt free, just make sure you do the math, and never eat from a bag or box. Trust me you won't be able to stop once you start, (learned this one the hard way 😛).

You don't have to eat junk! There is no rule stating you have to eat funyons washed down with Mountain Dew. While a lot of us who are trying to eat better can be triggered by the traditional stoner foods, it is possible to start associating healthy food with being baked. If you have never eaten a fruit salad or drank lemon ice water while high you are missing out. Crunchy celery tastes awesome, grapes are an experience. Try it.

Stoner culture is associated with a lot of unhealthy habits but I want to change this. Smoking before a workout is amazing! While smoking weed not the healthiest habit, there is no reason we can't use in moderation and also live a healthy lifestyle.

Zero cal drinks! Ice water is king, drink up while high and it feels amazing. Sometimes sipping water, tea, Crystal light, or diet soda is enough to curb the urge to snack.

Fiber/protein. Eating a high fiber/protein food after smoking will fill you up much better than chips and soda. Choose foods wisely! Just because you're stoned doesn't mean you have a free pass to eat junk!

Be smart about timing. Smoking after dinner and before sitting down to chill for an evening is a recipe for disaster. You will have cravings and it will be harder to resist then say.... Smoking before dinner and filling up on a healthy meal... Or, smoking before bed and laying down to chill after you have already brushed your teeth.

Gum/mints/hard candy/suckers. Pick candy that takes more time to eat. If you get gummies/taffy, suck on them instead of chewing them. Make your treats last! Stay away from ice cream or anything that has to be eaten fast.

Stay outta the kitchen! Don't let yourself veer into food town when you just smoked the jazz cabbage and want to eat the fridge.

Form a distraction! Find something cool to watch on YouTube, sip some flavored water. Distract your mind. Like any cravings, the munchies can be beat, although it can be difficult. Marijuana can be a trigger to overeat for some of us, but it is possible to smoke in moderation and still eat in a nutritional caloric deficit with proper planning, choosing the right snacks, timing your sesh properly, and finding the right activities to keep yourself distracted.

🖤🖤🖤

This post is directed to adults, 21 and over. Stay safe, stay as legal as possible, and take care!

#weightloss #lose weight #stoner #weed girls #smoke weed #marijuana #lifestyle change #health goth #low calorie #caloric intake #caloric restriction #calories

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msukourtneyk-blog · 7 years

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Quitting or Cutting Back on Drinking Pop

We all know the meaning and importance of the word, “moderation”. That doesn’t mean we always use it in every aspect of our daily lives, we are human after all. We all have our guilty pleasures and things that we enjoy in excess, whether it is binge watching shows on Netflix, eating 6 pieces of pizza...or drinking multiple cans of pop on a daily basis. These are all things that are not exactly healthy, especially if they are regular habits. Pop is not good for us as we all know, but it is so delicious and refreshing. It is one of those things that need to be had in moderation. Having a pop once and awhile is perfectly fine and normal, but drinking pop on a daily basis is an addictive and unhealthy habit. Habits are hard to break and when your body is used to the carbonation, sugar (or fake sugar), and caffeine it constantly craves more. It is difficult to quit or cut back on things that we love weather it’s TV time, specific foods, or drinks that we enjoy. Here is a guide that could possibly help!

The first step to breaking a bad habit is to decide you want to stop and commit to quitting or cutting back.

Another great step would be to switch to alternative drinks like Propel, tea, or the best option...WATER. Here are a few alternative ideas:

“1. Give Soy Milk a Chance. If you'd like to work in a serving of soy a day, give soy milk a try. Lots of brands and flavors are available. If calories are an issue, try one of the lower-calorie options.

2. Don't Skimp on Skim Milk. Skim milk is a great way to boost your intake of protein, calcium, vitamin D, and other important nutrients. One cup of skim milk has only around 85 calories. The Beverage Guidance Panel recommends up to two servings a day of nonfat or 1% milk and fortified soy beverages.

3. Pimp Your Water. To an avid soda drinker, water can seem a little unexciting. One of the best ways around that is to add noncaloric flavors to your water. A sprig of mint or a slice of lemon or lemon will do wonders. If you like subtler flavors, try a slice or two of cucumber or a frozen strawberry.

4. Make Green or Black Tea Your New Drink Habit. Popkin says tea is a healthy alternative to water for people who prefer flavored beverages. Tea is calorie free and contains powerful phytochemicals like the antioxidant in green tea, epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). Great-tasting green and black teas abound in supermarkets and specialty stores. If you're cutting back on caffeine, look for caffeine-free teas.

5. Think Outside the Juice Box. Although 100% fruit or vegetable juice contains important nutrients, the Beverage Guidance Panel recommends having no more than one serving a day because they can also contain plenty of calories (about 100 in 1 cup of fresh orange or carrot juice). One way to cut those calories is by making a homemade juice spritzer: Combine one or two parts seltzer, mineral water, or club soda with one part 100% fruit juice (try fresh orange juice). Or try the new vegetable juice flavors in your supermarket, as well as fruit and vegetable juice blends. While they're not super low in calories, each serving contains a serving of fruit and a serving of vegetable.

6. Discover the Coffee Cure. For java lovers, coffee can be a calorie-free, flavorful alternative to soda. And you can easily find lower-caffeine coffees in coffee shops and supermarkets. But to keep coffee low-calorie, be sure to keep it simple -- skip the syrups, whipped cream, and whole milk.7. Make Good Old H2O Convenient. The Beverage Guidance Panel recommends at least 4 servings a day of water for women and at least 6 servings for men. When you need to quench thirst or hydrate your body, nothing does it better than water. If cold, refreshing water was more convenient, and if we were reminded to drink it during our day, a lot more people would reach this daily goal. So keep water bottles ready to go in your refrigerator, and every time you leave the house, take a bottle with you. If chilled water is sitting in your car or on your desk at work, you'll be more likely to get into the water-drinking habit.”

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/how-can-i-stop-drinking-so-much-soda#3

Slowly stop drinking pop. You don’t have to go from drinking a few a day to zero. Gradual change is the best way to make quitting or cutting back a habit and something that lasts.

“Wean yourself off slowly That news may be enough to convince you that you should stop drinking soda, but it could still be easier said than done. "People really can become addicted to soda, so you have to be a realist and not an idealist," says nutritionist Stefanie Sacks, author of the forthcoming book What the Fork Are You Eating?. "I don't recommend going cold turkey; you need to wean yourself off, just like you would anything you've become dependent on."

If you typically drink multiple servings of soda a day, Sacks suggests first cutting back to one a day. Give that two weeks, then switch to three sodas a week. "It gives you a chance to adjust gradually, which should lead to real, sustainable change.”

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20902395,00.html#wean-yourself-off-slowly--0

If you notice yourself wanting or craving a pop at particular times or places, try to be prepared. Have a water bottle with you at all times, flavor your water, make fresh iced or hot tea, have some coffee if you need that caffeine, etc.

“Steer clear of soda triggers You may notice that you only drink soda in certain places or situations: In the afternoon at the office, for example, or when you eat at a certain restaurant. You may not be able to completely avoid these scenarios—you've still got to go to work and should still enjoy eating out—but you may be able to change those bad habits.

If it's the office vending machine that tempts you to buy a soda every day, try to stay away from it in the afternoon—and pack your own healthy beverage or a refillable water bottle so you have an alternative. Or if you tend to crave soda with a certain type of food, try restaurants that offer other options instead.”

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20902395,00.html#steer-clear-of-soda-triggers--0

Sometimes the thought of not having something you enjoy, even if it is unhealthy, makes you stray from quitting or cutting back. It is a mindset and it is important to let yourself have things you enjoy. It truly is all about moderation. Moderation is the key to so many different aspects of life.

“Save it for special occasions Once you're able to break your regular soda habit and the drink loses its grip on you, it can be treated just like any other junk food: If you really love the taste, there's nothing wrong with an occasional indulgence, says Sacks. "If it's your gotta-have-it food, then by all means splurge on a soda now and then," she says. In fact, knowing that you can have a soda on your cheat day or during a special night out may help you resist them on a more regular basis. "Just do it from a place of education: If you understand that soda is essentially just sugar and artificial flavorings, then you can be more smart about when or if you're going to drink it."

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20902395,00.html#save-it-for-special-occasions--0

The key to health and enjoying life is moderation. Cut back on the things that are unhealthy, but enjoy a pop when you really want one, eat an extra piece of pizza every now and then, watch a couple extra episodes on Netflix. We can be healthy and enjoy life too! Take care of yourself and treat yourself.

#NUTR351

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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Hillary Benton is hatching a plan to stay in bed.

“Starting a new lifestyle blog called Diet Coke and Klonopin where I will share secrets on how to minimize your time spent out of bed,” the 26-year-old Brooklyn-based marketing professional tweeted in August.

Some tips she shared in advance of the proposed blog launch included stowing all morning and evening skincare products in a nightstand basket, setting up a coffee making station within reach, and avoiding the shower. “Showering requires being upright, as well as being SPRAYED with WATER!” she points out. “You can lay down in the bath, throw some bubbles in, almost as good as bed.”

Later, over the phone, Benton says she was joking about starting the blog, but serious about everything else. “Staying in bed is something I feel very strongly about.”

Benton is not alone — she’s part of a big and profitable demographic of young women who sleep. Or, more broadly, stay home, in bed, acting as the center of what we can call the homebody economy. The hit novel of the summer was Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation, a story about a beautiful 26-year-old New Yorker who comes up with a plan to spend only 40 hours awake in a four-month period. The plan is mostly drugs, but her goal is to emerge refreshed and renewed, “bolstered by the bliss and serenity [she had] accumulated.”

“The narrator — relatably enough — is passionate only about sleeping,” Jia Tolentino wrote in her review for The New Yorker. “There is something in this liberatory solipsism that feels akin to what is commonly peddled today as wellness.”

“Staying in bed is something I feel very strongly about.”

A January analysis using 10 years worth of the American Time Use Surveys conducted annually by the US Bureau of Labor Statistics showed that millennials spent 70 percent more time at home than the general population. As with everything millennials do or don’t do, this is annoying to some people, and the New York Post ran a headline in June 2016 announcing “Millennials don’t deserve NYC.”

But it’s an opportunity for others. Younger Americans who are ensconced in their homes and uncharmed by nightlife, with all its associated “effort,” are also spending more money on food delivery than they are in restaurants and talking about self-care in terms of the products that it involves.

They’re the reason that nascent alcohol courier apps in limited markets can partner with Netflix, and the reason that the fiercest and dirtiest brand rivalries are now between mattress-in-a-box companies. They’re responsible for the boom of Korean skincare in the United States, which is why K-beauty e-commerce site Peach and Lily now has a line of its own face masks available at its Target mini-shop, which sold out their first day.

The economy built around it is made up of clothes and homegoods and streaming services and courier apps and millennial-friendly zero percent APR financing on a set of luxury sheets.

Obviously anyone who makes a living via the delivering of things benefits from the homebody. It would be inefficient to run through them all, but just know that Postmates makes $1 billion worth of sales annually, GrubHub (which owns Seamless) was valued at $2 billion when it went public in 2014, and there is a ridiculous number of alcohol delivery startups that essentially all have a cutesy name that sounds like a euphemism for peeing or sexual harassment. (Thirstie, Drizly, Tipsy, and so on.)

Saucey (gross), an LA-based alcohol courier app that will also bring you cigarettes, ice cream, and Doritos — all in 30 minutes or less — launched in 2014 and has since raised $10.2 million in funding and expanded throughout California and into Chicago. “The new going out is staying in,” marketing director Danielle Silveira tells me. “Why go out and wait in a line? Sit back and chill on your couch with Netflix … or Hulu or Amazon or any streaming service.”

Nobody wants to drive to a grocery store in LA, she argues. Especially during a heatwave. And now that Saucey is in Chicago, it’s relevant to point out that nobody wants to go outside when it’s cold. Basically, nobody wants to go outside.

The bulk of Saucey’s weeknight customers are ordering small quantities of wine and beer, around 7 PM, a trend that competitor Minibar has also noticed. Co-founder Lindsey Andrews tells me that more than 50 percent of Minibar’s sales are wine, and most orders are for one or two bottles. She says it’s also been “the year of spiked seltzers,” and other lower-alcohol drinks — cider, rose, Ketel One’s new line of vodka that comes in flavors like Grapefruit Rose and Cucumber Mint — that people can drink slowly, and are more popular with women.

Minibar often partners with Netflix to create tie-in promotions — tweeting an emoji of a wine bottle while you’re binge-watching a popular show can lead to a free bottle of pinot noir at your door. The New York-based startup raised $5 million in funding last summer.

Netflix loves the stay-at-home, drink, watch Netflix crowd — see these wine-themed socks that will turn off your TV when you fall asleep — even though it has reportedly explicitly asked people to stop saying “binge-watch,” because it sounds tacky and has connotations related to alcoholism and junk food.

You know who else loves a stay-at-home millennial? Everyone who makes things that are comfortable to sit or lie on. A handful of warring but wildly successful mattress-in-a-box companies have sprung up in the last few years, all chasing the “urban professional” millennial market.

There’s Casper, with its subway ads and its rent-by-the-hour nap pods. There’s Brooklinen, which offers financing plans for $129 sheet sets and has 75,000 followers on its tangentially related lifestyle Instagram. There’s Burrow, a couch-in-a-box company that has recently taken over vacant New York storefronts and filled them with elaborate dioramas of laziness, captioned with the tagline “Good for nothing.”

“Wellness trends and self-care trends — going out doesn’t align with people’s goals in that regard. The drinking. The eating out. Everything in the world makes us want to stay home.”

There’s Walmart sub-brand Allswell, which carries only two mattresses and explicitly markets the “Firmer” option as ideal for sitting, working, and watching TV in an “Instagram-worthy dream bed.” President Arlyn Davich tells me it is much more popular than the classic design.

She also says, when I ask if she loves the napping millennials, “It’s fun to stay home. And it’s scary out there, with the political environment. Wellness trends and self-care trends — going out doesn’t align with people’s goals in that regard. The drinking. The eating out. Everything in the world makes us want to stay home.” That’s nice for Allswell because people who stay in all the time will spend more on things for inside, like a new mattress or a $70 decorative pillow.

“People are spending more time in bed, so they’re asking not just how good are these for sleeping, but how good are they for doing all the things I do in bed,” she says. “You’re seeing people spend more time, and wanting to make sure it’s a beautiful environment.”

Moshfegh’s anti-heroine in My Year of Rest and Relaxation sleeps in part as a response to a wealth-obsessed culture she finds noxious. And Malcolm Harris, author of last year’s Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials, says the broader homebody culture is a response to something too: “I think it’s basically just a happy face on declining living standards,” he tells me. “Like how we all supposedly love tiny houses. We don’t love staying home; we’re tired and anxious and alienated and have a historically low stock of free time and public, common spaces.”

Gen X may have been known as the Slacker Generation, but brands didn’t see them as people who loved to stay in bed. Coming into their 20s at the end of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st, they were young during the height of American wealth culture — the (first) Trump years, the Hilton years. This is when Kim Kardashian was hosting vodka launches, not narrating her at-home remedies for psoriasis on Instagram behind a four-foot thick brick wall in Calabasas.

And before them? Baby boomers helped T.G.I. Fridays open 100 locations in the United States in 10 years — becoming the first bar to come up with the idea of “ladies night” (and potato skins!), and the first restaurant chain to codify the notion of happy hour, kicking off an entire era of reasonably-priced frozen cocktails and an expectation of making out in public places. It launched in tandem with birth control; it went public via Goldman Sachs in 1983.

Brand imagery for Allswell’s sheet sets. Allswell

What young people buy isn’t the best way to understand them, Harris argues, since they don’t control what’s for sale. What’s more pertinent is their relationship to labor, which is “a bad one.”

Millennials are ordering from Postmates and they’re the ones doing delivery for Postmates, Harris points out. Service work constitutes a higher percentage of American labor than it has in the past, which means more “affective labor, the work of feelings,” is required of today’s workers. “That can be a strain on your ability to perform socially.”

“Wages are down, exploitation is up,” he says. “A heavy divergence between productivity and the wage rate is what characterizes the millennial experience more than anything. Being exploited, that’s going to make you want to stay home.”

If you haven’t heard, this generation is into self-care. This is not just face masks, but it is partly face masks.

“The Korean beauty routine has so many different layers,” Peach and Lily co-founder Alicia Yoon tells me. “That plays into this moment of self-care.” She’s noticed customers gravitating toward sheet masks because they have a longer application period — “You’re empowered to focus on yourself and connect with yourself.”

Along with a sheet mask, you can also pick up T-shirts at Target that read “Naps and snacks,” “Namast’ay in bed,” and “I want it all and I want it delivered,” designed by a brand run out of the Chico, California, airport that boasts licensing rights for Marvel, Coca-Cola, and MTV, among other big names. Fifth Sun, started by former civil engineer Dan Gonzalez in the early ’90s, is one of the largest graphic T-shirt manufacturers in the United States and sells its mass appeal products via every other major retailer you can think of — Walmart, K-Mart, Macy’s, Kohl’s, etc. (Asked to comment for this story Gonzalez replied, “no thx.” Why should he! The proof is in the pudding.)

You can find the same “Namast’ay in Bed” untrademark-able nonsense phrase on over 1,300 items on Etsy (yoga sweaters, doormats, pillowcases, coffee mugs, wall decals, mason jars, hand-stamped mimosa spoons), and you can find people who live off of that.

Namast’ay in bed mimosa spoon. SycamoreHill Etsy store

Courtney Lovenberg, a 27-year-old nurse from Lake Hopatcong, New Jersey, says she makes about 20 percent of her income from the Etsy store where she sells slogan-based T-shirts — a side gig that takes about 10 hours of her time per week. She started the shop when she got engaged two years ago, focusing on designs that pertained to being a fiancée or a bride. But since she’s settled into married life in the last year, she’s noticed that she’s hanging out at home more, and making shirts that reflect that.

“Sometimes I feel like ‘I don’t know if people are going to relate to this,’ but then you realize how many other introverted, ‘I just want to be lazy on a Friday night’ women are out there,” she says. “I’ve had tons of repeat customers.”

Top-sellers like “Homebody,” “I just want to stay home with my dog,” and “Introverted AF,” are each ordered about 10 times per month from her modestly sized shop.

The “Homebody” shirts that Courtney sells are negligibly different than the ones that 27-year-old Wooster, Ohio. mother Emily Weckesser sells in the Etsy shop she runs with her husband Brad — a project they started seven years ago and which now provides their primary household income. Their shop is mostly sets of graphic tees designed to be worn by babies, or parents and their babies, or parents who are not coordinating outfits with their babies at present but do still want you to know that they have a baby, and that they and the baby are both homebodies.

“We’re introverts and work from home,” Emily says. “Our designs reflect that and we treasure that. I think introverts are reclaiming their spot in the world and not being ashamed to own up to it. We love our home and we love our kids. At this stage, we’re curled up on the couch.”

In the era of Instagram, curling up on the couch makes for — by some measures — as productive a night as going out in a stellar outfit.

Just ask an influencer: Hélène Heath is a fashion and beauty writer and consultant based in New York, with a moderate Instagram following and a popular lifestyle blog. Last summer, the Chill Times (the editorial arm of SoHo cafe and spa Chillhouse) paid her to pose with the Public Hotel’s digital manager Shelby Eastman and Instagram influencer Tesa Pesic, wearing Morgan and Lane silk pajamas, feeding each other cheeseburgers ordered via Postmates, braiding each other’s hair, sipping out of gold champagne flutes and pink mugs that read “Literally Can’t Even,” then cuddling up in the same bed, under a loose-knit blanket.

“Smart brands today understand that it’s about creating moments of social shareability,” she told Vox in an email. “Think of last year’s hygge trend, or how a lot of candle brands are popping up and gaining momentum thanks to Instagram, or how masking has become a huge trend.”

Don’t just stay home — stay home beautifully. The hundreds of available and nearly identical homebody-themed graphic t-shirts exist because they’re perfect for Instagram, she points out, making being alone still-shareable. “We are undoubtedly not done with derivative products in my opinion … especially as we head into winter cocooning season!”

The original concept of a girls’ night is a pop culture trope as old as women being permitted to appear in groups in cinema, and at least partially explains why the homebody economy is directed more explicitly at women, who were already having sleepovers and spending their discretionary income on each other and on their homes.

What is somewhat new is the affiliation of “girls night in” and true luxury products. Suddenly, it’s everywhere. Lenny Letter — the email-based media company founded by Lena Dunham and her producing partner Jenni Konner in 2015 — is currently offering readers a chance to win a three-day “BFF” trip to Mexico. A lucky pair of buds will go to Mexico and then … stay inside: In addition to the resort comps, the winners receive a “girls’ night in pack” that includes designer candles, expensive moisture-wicking underwear, and two “vibes” from Dame (“the Glossier of female vibrators”). So, everything they need for a chill night in a hotel room in Juluchuca, ignoring the landscapes and masturbating together, which I’ll admit would bring two pals a lot closer.

Girls Night In is also the name of Alisha Ramos’s successful lifestyle brand and recommendation newsletter. (Ramos was previously a design director at Vox Media, Vox’s parent company.) Girls Night In is explicitly about self-care, illustrated by Instagram posts in which women in charcoal masks read fake newspapers. The philosophy it espouses is big on going to bed early, saying no to plans, taking a bath, and reading Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking to get into a “magical thinking” mood on a Monday morning. (For the record, that book is literally about mourning the surprise deaths of your husband and only child.)

The idea is that you shouldn’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to — and you shouldn’t! — but if you’re going to stay home there is some stuff you should probably buy.

Girls Night In partners with Penguin Random House, Outdoor Voices, Girlboss, Sweetgreen, and Madewell, to name a few listed on its website, and sells merchandise that says, can you guess? “Homebody.”

Moshfegh’s narrator does leave the house periodically. For example, she buys a new VCR at Best Buy so she can tape the news coverage of the attacks on the World Trade Center, which she watches “over and over” to “soothe” herself.

The novel is satirical, viciously pulling apart New York City’s vapid culture of wealth and image-obsession at the turn of the millennium, but there are a few thoughts that flit through the sociopathic narrator’s head that feel true enough: “It was too much to consider in all, stretching out, a circular planet covered in creatures and things growing, all of it spinning slowly on an axis created by what — some freak accident?”

“Implicit in the introvert, stay-at-home discourse is the idea that life is increasingly bad”

Probably all of the homebodies have one good reason or another for doing what they’re doing — lying around. And one of those reasons is that it sucks to be outside in the terrible world.

It’s not a ridiculous question: If you can do everything at home — including date and drink and eat and live-stream Coachella — why wouldn’t you? Millennials get shamed nonstop no matter what, but having pizza and wine delivered via some apps instead of going out to a fancy restaurant or any bar can have explanations beyond laziness and misanthropy.

As the generation that will never pay off its student loans or own homes or retire, we are also just working more and for less — it’s at least partly as simple as being physically tired and not making very much money.

“Going out into the world and enjoying it and spending money to be in public and have fun is a pretty standard way to measure well-being and your ability to enjoy things,” Harris says. “Or it has been in the United States. We have less of that, which means life is worse. Implicit in the introvert, stay-at-home discourse is the idea that life is increasingly bad.”

So if you would prefer to celebrate namast’aying in bed rather than admit that it’s basically your only option … okay, sure, why not? Urban Outfitters launched its own beauty line this week and all of the creams are called “Have a moment.” They’re a mere $10; I will buy them.

It pays to never leave the house. I mean, it doesn’t pay you but it pays someone.

Original Source -> The homebody economy, explained

via The Conservative Brief

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