#Save me I'm insane

[gutz-radio]

Hi I'm still insane as ever. Nothing has changed.

#I'm going insane with my 8th billionth rewatch of Tokyo ghoul #However I refuse to watch season 3 or 4 I don't want to relive that pain #Anyway enjoy whatever this is #tokyo ghoul ken kaneki #tokyo ghoul jason #tokyo ghoul yamori #tokyo ghoul shuu #Tokyo ghoul #shuu tsukiyama #ken kaneki #tokyo ghoul naki #Naki #yamori #Save me I'm insane

[egophiliac]

happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!

thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!

I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)

I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!

also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...

...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me #but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual #he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly #supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type #because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that #it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead #and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF. #(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway) #i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry! #unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever #(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress) #i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much. #my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks #i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair #(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)

[elbdot]

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WOW Gladion, very reliable, love that we finally got through to you, fwiends forever am I right 🫠

WE'RE BACK with a MEGA UPLOAD that was too big for one post so I had to part it in two, see you guys in a week with the second part (and the Webtoons update!) OR you can read the whole thing on my Patreon early! 👍

Patreon - And thank you guys so much for your patience for this update!! :D ☺️💖 It took AGES because of the backgrounds...

#els alolan adventures #guzma #pokemon #pokemon sm #pokemon sun and moon #hau #pokemon comic #alola #Latias #As you can clearly see from the CHAIRS I worked in BLENDER for this update #I made an ENTIRE 3D MODEL OF THE CAFÉ and found premade chairs and umbrellas and trashcans and ROCKS to place everywhere #Until I had a perfect reference model for the entire beach / town scenery #And then I traced over it #except I COULDN'T #BECAUSE I ONLY MODELLED THE BASICS BUT STILL HAD TO DRAW THE VAST MAJORITY OF EVERYTHING #AND IT BARELY SAVED ME ANY TIME AT ALL #AND THE SHADING NEARLY DROVE ME INSANE #AND CREATING THIS UPDATE WAS AN INSUFFERABLE NIGHTMARE #I am completely burned out btw I'm taking the entire week off gjfkjgfdkjgfjd #Once I'm recovered I'm gonna upload some more of my initial references and the storyboard to my Patreon page

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

#something something hope is a weapon hope is a discipline hope is a garden to cultivate!!! #HE'S SO GOOD HE IS TRULY EXEMPLAR OF THE WHOLE PHILOSOPHY OF THE NEIN AND I DO NOT THINK THAT'S AN ACCIDENT #truly just like. enormous proponent of letting trust and curiosity into your heart regardless of the horrors. #it's hard and it makes you more vulnerable and sometimes it hurts so so much but it will also save your fucking life! #cr spoilers #critical role #essek thelyss #cr meta #I was gonna apologize for the length but I'm not sorry. I'm also not sorry for being insane about him but he's so special to me. #head in my hands he's so GOOD HE'S BEST BOI! GUIDING LIGHT NORTH STAR!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! #also truly if i had two nickels for a span of time with no essek sightings where I wrote a lot of fic #with deliberate personal acknowledgment that I was writing some pretty maximal arcs for him in terms of character growth #and then end up getting essek for half an episode and having to go OH WE'RE GOING THAT FAR ACTUALLY. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. #yanno. two nickels. but good lord I am thriving that it's happened twice #augh this is ONE of the pieces I need to write this week. we're not gonna talk about it

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Every day I have to contend with how Soriku fandom just spoils me with in depth analysis about the series itself as much as it spoils me with analysis of characters and the ship

Reading stuff like necklace theory, "riku is the light", the sleeping realms theory, and just fan analysis and translations of the original jp version of kh changed my life man

#kh #kingdom hearts #soriku #i just be ramblin #deep analysis that comes out of a place of love and respect for a story save me #deep analysis that comes out of a place of love and respect for a story #save me deep analysis that comes out of a place of love and respect for a story #I fucking #I fucking love when people go insane about their theories and analysis in earnest and clearly love the thing they're analyzing #And for the record it changed my life because even when I try to be casual about something I'm over here doing character analysis in my hea #and checking for symbolism and noting parallels between characters and relationships

[wondercircuit]

Lance Stroll at the drivers' press con, Miami 2024

#lance stroll #*mine #gif: press con #miami 2024 #could have made more to add to this set but i accidentally closed ps without saving the file #god hates me #anyway BEHOLD #i feel so insane about this rn. u have no idea #much to say and redact #i'm sobbing #that's enough giffing this weekend

[jeiyuuen]

Honestly, how am I supposed to live normally with the knowledge that Luffy's flower is sunflower while Law's is Queen of the Night?

#I'm not usually insane over sun and moon things but #they can have it #And looking into Law's flower has been very fun and productive #gave me much to think about #this may seem like a jump but all I can think is that Luffy would absolutely treasure Law #I wish I can articulate my thoughts better but we know Luffy very much treasures what is currently in front of him #He thinks of the Law that's in front of him #Not the one who might not be there tomorrow #Sending my brainwaves to fellow mentally ill people #lawlu #lulaw #jeiyu txt #No because the sad connotations of Law's flower is the part that HE would focus on #But it's okay because Luffy is different #And has always viewed him as a good thing in his life ever since Law saved him in Marineford #Their reunion in Punk Hazard is insane btw because Luffy was really so happy to see him again I'm gonna cry

[yourthirdparent]

btw. if you even care

#GRRRUFF I'M INSANE #2021 mortal kombat movie save me #liu kang #kung lao #this is liulao. to me #liulao #mk #mk21 #posting on main because i'm. crazy about them #sorry *krazy #allfatherly guidance

[theladyeowyn]

- Do you trust me? - You know I do.

The Conjuring 2 (2016) dir. James Wan

#filmedit #horroredit #theconjuringedit #the conjuring 2 #filmgifs #moviegifs #the conjuring universe #conjuringedit #otpsource #* #tbh i did not intend for this to turn out so bright but i'm not even mad about it; i like the soft & glowy quality #anyway. it is a very good thing that i tend to save the bulk of my rewatches of this for october/december bc it's A Lot (i'm going insane) #i giffed both the opening hug and the ending dance in their entirety but i'm trying to put respectable distance between posting it all lol #The Conjuring #otp: someone who believed me

[lovvecherrymotion]

shoulder kiss and messy hair 💕

#i actually started looking into older posts because i wanted to reblog this but couldn't find anything dkjgdf #sorry if it has been posted and i'm just blind #i actually thought i knew who i got this from but the user i thought this was from doesn't have this posted so #once again if you know just let me know pls 😭 #this is what i get for saving videos randomly back in the summer without a care in the world and now wanting to be insane about them #jan peteh #nace jordan #jance #janace #joker out

[owari-no-suffering]

shoutout to lan wangji and luo binghe for being endlessly tormented by their love interests' mixed signals, reaching their breaking point, and then proceeding to never be normal about their (always reciprocated) crushes (turned husbands) ever again.

#like obviously binghe and wangji are not on the same level. but they're certainly not opposites! #just got to wangxian's first kiss and like. #if my silly gay crush showered me in flowers and pointed out how pretty i was and always hung around me. #but then was like ''wow i love talking to boys don't you love talking to boys S?" #i would also be driven so insane as to just start punching trees #lan wangji epitome of control being pushed past his breaking point and hating himself for it . . . you are so dear to me #luo binghe driven absolutely batshit bonkers by his shizun who cares deeply for him and fears (or used to fear) the idea of him . . . #mm yes i'm connecting the dots. mxtx has a flavour she likes. i see i see #TBD on whether hualian fits into this nonsense at all but from what i've heard: not really #mdzs #rzfzx #svsss #scum villian self saving system #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #wangxian #bingqiu

[agentark]

trying to enjoy my silly little time traveling sci-fi show while clara and the doctor say the most devastating things to and about each other every other episode like my god

If the Doctor is still the Doctor, he will have my back.

Clara, I'm not your boyfriend. // I never thought you were. // I never said it was your mistake.

Please, just...Just see me.

Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Clara, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm exactly what you deserve.

There was one other man. But it would've never worked out. He was impossible.

When do I not see you?

Die with whoever comes after me, you do not leave me.

I don't care about your rules, or your bloody survivor's guilt. If you love me in any way, you'll come back.

Immortality isn't living forever, that's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe.

I let Clara Oswald get inside my head, trust me, she doesn't leave.

Longest month of my life. // It could only have been five minutes. // I'll be the judge of time.

I will die, and no one else here or anywhere will suffer. // What about me?

Everything you're about to say, I already know. don't do it now, we've already had enough bad timing.

Don't run. Stay with me.

I was lost a long time ago, she was saving you.

If you think because she is dead I'm weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all.

The day you lose someone isn't the worst...it's all the days they stay dead.

I'd know you anywhere.

What were you bargaining for? // What do you think? You.

If she says so.

I had a duty of care.

People like me and you, we should say things to one another.

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

You said "memories become stories when we forget them." Maybe some of them become songs.

hand in unlovable hand

#also of course any iteration of 'my clara' #or that line in before the flood where bennett is like 'youre just doing this to save clara' and the doctor is like 'yeah? and?' #like even w/ 11 we start to see just how far the doctor will go for her but 12 really drops the pretense that he cares about anyone but her #just finished a rewatch of Clara's episodes and feeling the entire spectrum of human emotion about them #may I one day experience a love half as insane as theirs #clara jumping into his time stream means they have 900+ years of inextricably linked history whether they know it or not like.... #yeah i'd be unhinged about you too #everyone say 'thank you missy' for bringing these two together and nearly causing the destruction of the universe #doctor who #clara oswald #doctorclara #I'm not ready to start Bill's episodes what happens to her makes me physically ill #twelveclara

[cozylittleartblog]

random note about king on that animation, i got really lucky with how simple his animation was and how clean my sketches were to begin with that i was able to do very minimal cleanup on what i had sketched (and add back. his horn. it's supposed to take place just after echoes of the past, Oops) and call it done that way instead of having to redraw the entire thing like i had to on his dad

first sketch > line cleanup > nearly final animation (i'd added slight eye movements last-second but otherwise that's the final)

#toh #the owl house #animation #gif #king clawthorne #the lineart slightly flickers on his one paw where i had to erase the tag and i thought it would bother me a lot more #but most people seem to use the internet on their phones - coupled with the darker palette and color of his fur #it basically completely hides it #based on feedback i don't think a lot of people realize i made that and it's not a gif from the show lmfao #BUT ITS STILL REALLY NICE THAT PEOPLE THINK IT IS!!!! I AM NOT AN ANIMATOR I AM JUST A HOBBYIST... #i animate like once a year... shits hard man.... but apparently when i do animate. its extremely good :) proud of that #even if i have an extremely unhinged way of animating #i don't have an animation program i draw everything individually frame by frame in photoshop #each character had their own psd file with the same background and every frame was its own group. twice. one for sketch one for colors #i do test takes with gifcam (there are literally 55 WIP gifs in my documents folder rn) by switching between layers and taking a 'frame' #and i compile in blender's video editor and to move things separately i save each character's frame in its own .png 'cel' #so luz was her own 'cel'. king was his own 'cel.' etc. and then i have to manually slide the lengths of the frames around #to match the right framerate. traditionally animation is animated at 24 FPS on 2's - so 12 frames a second. i go on 3s. 4 to slow down #anime-ass framerate. i'm insane apparently but its what i like to do #i dont understand real animation programs they have too many pieces but i DO understand photoshop and my funny brushes #imagine having Digital Programs and Still basically doing ye olde traditional animation method just in the computer #if im Just making a gif then i only use gifcam and switch between layers. like digital stop motion. somethings wrong with me

[tofixtheshadows]

Constantly rotating Falin Touden in my head as one of the best examples of "haunting the narrative" I've ever seen. Schrödinger's maiden. Schrödinger's chimera. She's the saintly little sister they have to save and the savage dragon they have to slay and the girl they love that they have to eat.

They literally fridged her and defrosted her.

#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME #I say this about every dunmesh character. Because it's true. #Dungeon Meshi #Falin Touden #DUNGEON MESHI SPOILERS #don't even get me started on how Kui deconstructs her in the 'angelic girl on a pedestal' role #how every time she appears she's in conflict with her own selfless desires versus her selfish ones; being consumed versus devouring #Laios's last memory of her is of her self sacrifice and Marcille's is of Falin saying she doesn't care if saving her hurts someone else #let's talk about that!!!! #musings with Dea #sorry I'm going insane because my only two friends reading the manga are doing it at a snail's pace

[jellazticious]

You have no idea how attached I am to Pepperman

#Vigi is there too ig snsnndnd #Pizza Tower #Pepperman #Manpepper #The Vigilante #Vigijinka #Peppino Spaghetti #Pepperino #I drew this #I'm going insane man. Save me mate

[muzzleroars]

Gabriel (/ˈɡeɪbriəl/) - “Strength of God”, more accurately “God is my strength” (or, what does it mean to be the righteous hand without a body?)

#ultrakill #v1 #gabriel #THINKING about angelic names tonight #specifically gabriel having no proper sense of self due to his very name being an extension of god #it is his position. it is his job. not so much a name as it is a role #to fail is to lose himself because he is what he is made to do and nothing else #and he is dedicated to it. if he fails he can protect no one save no one #gabriel is said to have a radiant personality and i think he truly cares #it's part of his conflict in carrying out the terrible orders that he does #but he must because he is made to be strong and to obey orders #and when he finally loses he is not just abandoned by god but by what he was #ALL OBVIOUS i know but how his name relates to his core identity made me go insane IG... #ANYWAY i could say a lot more about this comic but. whew!!! #doodle tag #blood cw #injury cw #most importantly just know i'm a 'that's just his skin' truther #so he gets lots and lots of scars