#Really hope someone out there gets it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.

#No patience. Wither and rot. #These motherfuckers dogpiled the legend who leaked the no fly list because it identified as the wrong type of lesbian. #They will attack the people doing DIRECT ACTION over dumbfuck label discourse. Deeply unserious people. #Embarrassing to think that there are rubes out there who keep falling for this #For ALL our sakes I hope this is literally their first rodeos and they really haven't fallen for this bullshit twice. #But unfortunately I'm too old to be that hopeful. #I didn't get to see the big ''public block list'' made for us dirty queers who support or are bi/mspec lesbians but I hope I was on it #If a man is best judged by his enemies then exclusionists who echo terf rhetoric are the ones I WANT to have. #And ''public lesbian block list'' is in quotes because if you REALLY thought that such a thing wasn't a ''GO HARASS THESE PEOPLE'' charter- #--then you have a black mold where your brain used to be and it's rapidly eating into the bathroom tile you call a skull #Unironically you should not have a platform if you are THAT stupid or malicious to think it was anything BUT a harassment charter #I hope they're ashamed. #Context for those unaware: a flesh-eating amoeba created a public blocklist for people who supported bi lesbians #Minors and extremely small creators without big platforms were on that list #People got harassed but the most namely was Lockandkeyhyena who had people raiding his server with racial slurs and death threats. #I hope everyone involved sees who their ''allies'' are when they spread that sentiment. #A bunch of people ACTUALLY 'invading someone's space' to post the n-word and suicidebait. #THAT is who you appeal to. Sit with that.

[archivebottles]

"You don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself now."

#signalis #elster #isa itou #blood / #i hope i didnt overdo it with the grime... #i cant really sit on this as much as id like to bc im so busy right now but i needed to get this out of my system as fast as possible #ive been thinking about this scene a lot recently and i do just wanna say #you have no idea if you last words will really be your last words to someone..so if you can show someone you care about them while theyre #still here ok?

[krazieka2]

Blions first kill

#carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo #i am SO SORRY to anyone who follows me on twitter and here #it takes forever to get art over here sometimes #either i keep planning on adding more doodles to an idea #or i forget i ever drew it #when did i draw this #2023 art #fe3h #fire emblem #annette cant actually learn fire at any point #i was really hoping no one would point that out but OF COURSE someone on reddit did (lightheartedly) #anyway annette didn't use magic she just set the body on fire to make a point

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Daughter of delta Yu, show them that you're no fool!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang fengmian #jinzhu #yinzhu #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #elle woods #Not officially appearing but this is very much supposed to continue on the running gag of her being a character in pd-mdzs. #Yes I have been thinking about how Yu and Nu sound the same. Would it not be funny if YZY and Elle Woods were martial sisters? #Oh man I really hope help gets to lotus pier in time. I hope things turn out okay despite the odds. #I always wondered what YZY ended up fighting with once she gave away zidian. Supposedly she would have a sword right? #Let us also factor in the fact she gets her core 'melted' and can't use spiritual weapons anymore. #We know for a fact that this does not stop someone from still kicking ass. #Thus I propose: Yu Ziyuan as a bare knuckle brawler. In my heart she's a multiclass barbarian/monk. #As *if* she would go down without causing a bit more bloodshed once her core was gone. #Gatekeep Gaslight Girlviscerate your enemies.

[ink-the-artist]

holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare

#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them #which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever #its cool it seems to have entered culture like that #i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and #people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me #i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach #its out of my control kind of and other people have it now #which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be #but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours #i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me #since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin #not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work #ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol #i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn

[antiqua-lugar]

aside from everything else about durgewyll I am loving how it highlights wyll and gortash as narrative foils. both their upbringings lead them to interact with demoniac entities, both can only become archdukes and join baldurian high society through uldred, both are swaying the dark urge from simply following bhaal (and arguably the dark urge sways them from simply pursuing an ideal and the dark urge can recognise both as their equal)

and by playing your card right in act 3 wyll just...gets everything gortash was trying to get? wyll really is a hero saving baldur's gate from the legion of the absolute. wyll influences gortash's favourite assassin into becoming someone they can defeat the netehrbrain together. they can even become archdukes together! ...or they can turn it down and then they can go to he hells to sneak around and have adventures (like gortash and durge used to) and save karlach's life (the same life that is at risk because gortash mindlessly threw it away).

like. it's a lot, wyll and durge can even murder raphael.

#bg3 #something something mirrors something something #wyll ravengard #enver gortash #this is not critical of gortash btw love whatever the fuck he has going on #also their upbringing...like yeah gortash obviously was sold to a devil by his parents that is not great #but also wyll indirectly has absorbed from uldred's teachings that his life does not matter as much as the greater good or the right ideals #and that is good but also wrong #i don't have the right words now to elaborate on all of that #throwing this in the void hoping that someone smarter than me gets inspired to elaborate on this #thsi was brought to sceleritas telling durge to never consider anyone else his equal and remembering that gortash always did #bg3 durge #durgewyll #bg3 spoileres #durge spoilers #EDIT: someone pointed out in the tags that gortash doesn't really want to he a hero and yeah but didn't really know how to write it out

[puppyeared]

Design notes (+ a little Portal clownery)

#this is only when I really take the time to draw them properly and not fucking rushing the fuck out of my hand on stream to get my silly #stupid joke out of my head. because when that happens the only thing that can tell them apart is wukongs phoenix feathers and the thin hope #that I’m conveying their personalities correctly HEHFHSBB #WE GO FULL SONIC/SHADOW IN THIS MF!!! #I also live for macaque being ungroomed and not knowing what to do with his fur for the longest time bc he doesn’t really have anyone to go #to. bc of his falling out with wukong and because he would probably die before asking someone to brush his hair or smth hehffgsbv #probably makes up for it by covering it with glamor anyway. who knows *shrug* #also hiii peddling my wukong and macaque are roughly the same height hc *deafening silence* #this is partly because I can’t clearly imagine one being taller than the other and I just think it’s funny if it’s an ongoing argument betwe #between them for centuries. arguing whos taller even back when they were friends JDHFNSV #my art #myart #doodles #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #Monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lmk six eared macaque #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk fanart #shadowpeach #but in a divorced way

[verdantglow]

Imagine the Hermits learning ballroom dance.

Imagine Etho being assigned to lead because he’s tall & everyone assumes he would.

Imagine him constantly fucking up, stepping on his partner’s feet, missing beats, just a mess.

Imagine Bdubs getting upset from the sidelines.

Imagine him getting blustery about this disaster & stepping in, saying no, no, no, this is all wrong, shooing Etho’s partner away.

Imagine anxiety bubbling up in Etho’s stomach, at having to lead for Bdubs, as he walks over.

Imagine Etho trying to place his hands on Bdubs, mentally preparing for another disaster.

Imagine Bdubs tutting & moving Etho’s hands away, much to Etho’s confusion.

Imagine Bdubs then firmly placing his hand on Etho’s back & grabbing his other hand.

Imagine Bdubs confidently taking over the whole situation.

Imagine Etho’s amazement as Bdubs leads him, and suddenly Etho’s dancing is on beat, smooth, no stepped on feet.

Imagine them elegantly whirling across the floor, everyone else watching them in surprise.

Imagine Bdubs dipping Etho.

Imagine Etho looking at Bdubs face while this happens & feeling his stomach flip at the burn of assurance in Bdubs eyes.

Imagine the song then ending, & them just staying there for a moment, breathing a bit heavy from the exertion.

Imagine Bdubs pulling Etho back up & releasing him & pointed saying that that was how you did it.

Imagine Etho staring at Bdubs, feeling lost & unsure now that Bdubs isn’t there, hand on his back deftly leading him.

Just like. Imagine.

#Ethubs #hermitshipping #Ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #etho #Bdubs #I’m sorry to all my girlies who are here for smalletho #but I’ve had this idea in my head FOR MONTHS. #& like. Just because I am smalletho 99% of the time #doesn’t mean I don’t have brain rot for other pairings as well. #I was planning on making a comic or mini fic outta this but #I just don’t see that happening anytime soon #& I cannot keep this to myself. #sends it out into the universe with the hope that someone else sees my vision here #I just. Love the idea of their dynamic getting flipped in certain situations #& also Bdubs would TOTALLY be amazing at ballroom dancing. #Can’t explain why but I really think he would be.

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him #I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭 #if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is) #he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED) #the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!! #literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

[commsroom]

Okay! Obviously, I love Wolf 359. The available scripts for Wolf 359 are recording scripts, meaning they're inaccurate in a ton of places when it comes to finalized or improvised dialogue, and don't function well as transcripts (especially since the scripts for the live show and some of the mini episodes were never made available.) That said, I think everyone should read the scripts; the sheer amount of physical description that you can feel in the show, even if you can't see it... I guarantee it will enhance your listening experience. Most visual show to ever be an audio drama. So, in pursuit of both of these goals at once, I went over every word in the scripts, and wrote up new scripts for the unavailable ones. Some of the sound effects described - especially in early episodes - might not line up exactly, because I didn't want to mess with the non-dialogue portion of the show, but I hope this strikes a good balance and can be a useful resource.

#wolf 359 #w359 #i went back to standardize some s1 formatting last minute so um if i accidentally deleted anything in the process. let me know? #or if there's anything else that stands out but. it should all be there more or less. the dialogue should be accurate now. #do whatever you want with these. compare them to the unedited recording scripts. #use them for screenshots of things you couldn't accurately screenshot before. #use them as actual functional transcripts for dialogue you can't parse. though i had to make some choices with cross talk #especially in the sound and the fury where most of it isn't really meant to be heard and it doesn't easily. format together. #anyway. um. that's it! i hope someone finds this useful and i hope it gets some more people to check out the scripts. maybe.

[astarlightmonbebe]

dohan is really out here living in a high stakes thriller while jihan and ajeong try out an enemies to lover romcom

#star stumbles #wedding impossible #kdrama #i put my money on the ex boyfriend we got one glimpse of who's on the relationship chart (??) but hey. #it could be anyone #i really hope we see him actually doing art sometime though #jihan's all about marrying off his brother and inheriting a company #ajeong is doing fake marriage enemies to lovers poor girl meets rich guy family drama #meanwhile dohan is being stalked threatened someone's out to get him hiding his sexuality #it's a lot and it's fun

[chodzacaparodia]

Please let Isagi lose, he's too used to winning all the time.

#don't get me wrong #I love isagi #but it's really tiring that he keeps winning #someone has to destroy him and I hope it's rin #I keep my fingers crossed that it will happen soon #I want to take out the suit I don't have #blue lock #bllk #blue lock memes #bllk memes #blue lock spoilers #bllk spoilers #isagi yoichi #rin itoshi #blue lock manga #bllk manga #rinsagi

[lazyspaceoutlaw]

since a lot of people seem confused, the Bee and Puppycat that just came out on Netflix isn’t the the same as the original! (though some did get leaked a few years ago)

it’s 16 completely newly, reanimated episodes, the first three of which will encompass the original plot, plus extra content!!

#i know ppl tend to be really opposed to change but i hope people come at this from a neutral perspective #it’s taken so much work to get it here and i have so much love for it #as someone who’s seen the leaked bits i can personally say i think the stylistic changes are not night and day even #like the pilot and original #it’s more colourful #and the backgrounds really blew it out of the water #+ their costumes…… #i wanna make a collection of bees new outfits <3 #i’ll probably share it here #bee and puppycat #bee and puppycat lazy in space #lazy in space #bee.txt #? #kind of..?

[tea-cat-arts]

A reoccurring thought I had for a while now-

On one hand, I'd like to think someone gave him a hug at least once in those 800 years. On the other, idk who Xie Lian would let himself be vulnerable with

#tgcf spoilers #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #xie lian #bai wuxiang #for reasons i cant explain- no face repeatedly hugging Xie Lian got to me almost as much as the 100 stabs scene #and i really hope Xie Lian gets some nice and consensual hugs (from all his friends. not just Hua Cheng) #someone get this man a weighted blanket #(completely unrelated) not to self promo in my angst post but- #i drew some things i spent a couple days on (per drawing) and they only got like 20 notes #so if yall could check those out and reblog them I'd really appreciate that (all are linked in my masterlist)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua: “I just want to be a kid and have a friend my own age who’s nice and do normal things like hanging out with them” :(

Killua: *befriends the least normal 12-year-old known to man*

#to be fair. Gon had a more normal upbringing than Killua but more importantly. A kinder upbringing #but they do NOT ‘just hang out’. I’m so happy they found someone to be weird little freaks of nature together with #and really. isn’t that the best thing we can hope for in this stupid little life? #hxh #storyrambles #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #<-he’s here in spirit #please understand this is a joke and there’s a lot more nuance I’m not getting into #but still. it’s funny.