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waveridden · 3 years

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thoughts on every cw show you've watched (a dark history i think we both share)

lily i wish you could hear the noise i just made when i saw this. god. okay. i’m going in approximate chronological order here. also an important piece of context is my mom did not let us watch ~adult tv~ until approximately 2010 so even though i am theoretically old enough to remember, like, one tree hill, i did not watch it.

also i’m putting this under a cut not out of shame but because it’s stupidly long but i’m putting the one everyone wonders about at the top (coincidentally i think it’s also chronologically first)

supernatural: meant a whole awful lot to me when i was a teen! ruby supernatural is how i figured out i like girls! i think i said this at the time but dean/cas canon (or. “canon”) means a lot to me not because i think it’s Good but because it was 14yo me’s wildest dream and i think sometimes our wildest teenage dreams deserve to come true. it’s a shitshow don’t get me wrong but it’s one that wormed its way into my brain and that in some ways i still care a lot about. i think it did a lot for my love of stories about families and about choice and free will like it was definitely formative and i’m cool with that. there are definitely dumber things that were formative for me

arrow: watched s1 while it was airing and i think i watched 3-4 total seasons on netflix. hot fucking garbage show. i think they had some interesting ideas in the early seasons - i like malcolm merlyn as a villain, i LOVE roy harper in this, thea queen is one of my favorite characters ever, there are lots of little things i could be kind about - but oliver is just such an irredeemable fucking bastard that it made the show unwatchable. also they put a jewish woman in a gas chamber, which is something i think we as a society need to talk about more???? in conclusion laurel lance i miss you

smallville: when i was in high school i bought the first season of smallville on dvd. i watched about half of it and never finished it. i do think it’s a fun concept tho and i like that it got to serve as sort of like... a proto legends of tomorrow situation where they could just throw random comics characters at you

the vampire diaries: bonnie was hot. idk i watched half a season and got bored

the flash: i watched the first... three-ish seasons while it was airing i think? i have a lot of fondness bc the flash is my dad’s favorite superhero and i genuinely think s1 is a lot of fun but man it went downhill huh. cisco ramon and iris west i love you and you deserve to be in a better show. also dc adaptations stop just randomly doing flashpoint challenge

izombie: rahul kohli i think of you every day. ravi/major was good. i remember not actually enjoying the first season but still being excited when s2 started and then like... not watching it. wasn’t arthur from merlin in this???

the 100: DEEP BREATHS. OKAY. the 100 was very important to me for a very long time and in some ways it still is because the first long fic i ever actually outlined and completed was for the 100, and that matters to me even though the show no longer does. however jesus christ what a fall from grace. like they even went from typical cw racist to just batshit levels of all the isms and phobias you could think of. i genuinely don’t understand how clexa is still in the public discourse at ALL like i get that fandom is overwhelmingly white and decided that they could look past the brownface but the violent homophobia isn’t great! also lily i know you know this but Justice For Jasper Jordan. that’s all

also i used to play this game in seasons 6-7 where whenever i saw an episode recap i would read it and it made me feel insane. did you know that in season 7 they went to a different planet? everyone was cryogenically frozen for like thirty years except for monty and harper (who had a DAUGHTER) and they went to a new planet. i’m not making this up. literal insanity. i’m foaming at the mouth as we speak

legends of tomorrow: i have seen season one of legends of tomorrow approximately six times. my url is a legends of tomorrow reference. i actually haven’t watched since s3 tho like i didn’t have cable/netflix for a while there and just... never caught up. it is such a perfectly ridiculous show. “we need to go back in time to make george lucas make movies so our historian is inspired by indiana jones!” “what if elvis’s guitar did necromancy?” stop wasting my time with talking and show me 45 minutes of that. lots of insane shit. nate heywood i think of you every day maisie richardson-sellers please call me

supergirl: i watched the pilot (fine) and the musical episode of the flash (honestly? pretty fun) and feel absolutely no desire to watch any more

riverdale: i watched the first season of riverdale and the reason i stopped watching was not related to the show itself, it’s because the roommate i lived with at the time who watched with me started making aggressive comments about the show being reverse racist and i removed myself from the situation. i really really want to watch it but i think you need someone to do it With you instead of doing it alone and tam keeps SAYING NO WHEN I ASK so idk maybe one day

crazy ex girlfriend: i never actually watched this but my roommate did and sometimes i would watch with her. there was a very smug quality to this show that really annoyed me? idk how to explain it. would not watch the whole thing tbqh. music was alright tho. i have referenced this moment in this song in way too many conversations that did not call for it

black lightning: i watched season one while it was airing and it was REALLY well done. i hope the future seasons were also good. anissa/grace fucking ruled we love a lesbian/bi relationship AND an interracial relationship with zero white people in it

also some bonus content for people who actually made it this far:

i have the wikipedia page for the cw open right now and i’m looking at all the kids shows, so i want to throw out there that 1) sonic x is the first fandom i remember being in 2) i watched a LOT of yugioh as a kid and i don’t care what anyone says yugioh gx fucking ruled and so did 5ds they really just went “what if we did it ON MOTORCYCLES” and i respect that 3) i watched the legion of superheroes cartoon with my dad and in retrospect it’s just stunningly fucking ugly but i loved it a lot when i was a kid

#waveridden.ask #mountalodiel #this is so long jfkldjsdklfds #ALSO heads up if anyone clicks the readmore:#cw for some discussion of the various isms/phobias that cw shows always seem to have #specifically the paragraph about arrow discusses a violently antisemitic thing that really stuck with me #and the 1oo includes racism/homophobia discussion #so idk just... tread with caution! if you're not in the mood to deal with that today don't deal with it today

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ghosthunthq · 4 years

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The Bones in the Acid 5

By: @sprghosthunter

Prompt: crime investigation AU

“You look awful,” Yasu said before he had the time to reconsider his choice of words.

Glaring with bloodshot eyes, Mai snagged the second cup of tea from his hand. She plopped down in her seat and sighed, “I had a really weird dream last night. I couldn’t go back to sleep after waking up at like… four in the morning.”

“Bad dream? Mind if I ask about it?” Yasu cupped his tea with both hands and sat opposite Mai.

The investigator shrugged. “It was about this case. I mean, there isn’t any way my dream was related, but it was scary as hell.” Mai waved her hand. “Anyway, I was in this large house. It was like a maze. Doors that went nowhere, rooms inside rooms, kinda like the Winchester Mansion.”

“Uh huh,” nodded Yasu. “I take it things got weirder?”

“Yeah…” the woman hunched over her cup. “I remember being dragged down this long hall by two big men. It led to this dead hedge maze that was somehow still inside the house. Then I was taken to a room made up with tiles. Kaneyuki was there, and he looked like a monster. He didn’t have a real defined shape I guess, but I knew it was him. He ordered the men holding onto me to strap me down to this long table, and then… he came up over me with a knife, and slashed my throat.”

Mai touched her neck as she shook off the oncoming chills.

“Whoa… That’s crazy,” Yasu commented.

“Oh, it doesn’t end there,” Mai cleared her throat. “After I was dead, I kinda just watched everything from above. Kaneyuki and his minions drained my blood into a bathtub. The old bastard then stripped, and began to bathe in it.”

“Ah…” Yasu’s face scrunched, “That’s sick. Sorry you had such a bizarre dream.”

Shrugging, Mai took a sip from the disposable cup, “It’s fine. It was so insane… but I can’t help but think there was some validity to it. My gut just tells me at least a portion of it is true…”

Yasu thought for a long moment before speaking, “Well, if you’re that suspicious of Kaneyuki, we could send Naru to dig up some clues? After all, he’s got an open invitation to the guy’s mansion. And we could follow them, in case something goes wrong.”

Mai pursed her lips. “I don’t know. As… pissed as I still am at him, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. What if Kaneyuki really is up to some freaky shit? And he hurts Naru? That would totally be on us… and I don’t think I could forgive myself for putting him in that kind of position if he were to get seriously hurt or killed.”

“But it would probably help us determine if he’s a worthwhile suspect or not. I don’t think Kaneyuki would just kill Naru in one visit. Especially bugging him to go over with me in the room. Don’t think the guy is that dumb.”

“Hmm…” Mai blew on her tea, “Alright. But he’s going to be wearing a wire, and a small camera. I’m not taking any risks. We’ll head down to the lab in about an hour and let him know.”

…line break…

“You can hear me, right Naru?”

Oliver cupped his hand over his ear and retorted, “Yes. Your voice is quite shrill, Mai.”

“Naru… please take this seriously. We don’t want you getting hurt, so checking the equipment is really important.”

He rolled his eyes and dropped his hand back down to his side.

“So,” Mai continued, “we’ll be right behind you, and constantly watching. And if something’s up, or you feel uncomfortable, let us know ASAP, okay?”

“Alright.” Oliver stepped outside. He cast a glance towards the black SUV Mai and Yasu were operating before turning his attention to the dark sedan that pulled up to the curb. The back window rolled down, offering Olvier a view into the car. Kaneyuki was sitting inside, smiling at him.

“I’m glad you decided to accept the invitation, Dr. Davis. Please, take your seat and we’ll be off.”

Oliver opened the door. As he slid inside the vehicle he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He turned his body towards the elderly man as he pulled the door shut. With a fake grin, he replied in the kindest tone he could muster, “My research is important to me, Mr. Miyama. I apologize for declining your offer the other day. It has just been a rather busy week.”

Kaneyuki nodded. “Yes. I imagine things get busy when the bureau infringes on your talents. Did you, by chance, finish with your forensics on those remains?”

Oliver nodded. “Yes, and I believe an arrest has been made.”

“Naru! What are you doing?!”

Oliver ignored Mai’s voice. He had been told to extract as much information as possible. He wanted to see Kaneyuki’s reaction and lower his guard, in case he was the potential murderer.

“Oh, really?” Kaneyuki’s smile widened. He laced his fingers together and leaned against the leather seat. “That’s wonderful news. They are quite lucky to have you as a resource.”

Noting the other passanger’s posture, Oliver angled himself so Mai’s camera could record it. “Yes. I am unsure how many murders would go unsolved had it not been for my intervention.”

“Dozens, I’m sure,” chuckled Kaneyuki.

Nodding in agreement, Noll changed the subject, “Speaking of intervention, you expressed interest in funding my next project.”

“Yes,” the man faced Oliver, “but I do have one request. Your next dig site is in Slovakia?”

“It is. Does something specifically interest you?”

“Indeed. You see,” he leaned uncomfortably close to Oliver, “I have quite an interest in Csejte Castle.”

Csejte Castle? Oliver thought it was a strange interest. The stories surrounding it were all rather grim. And Kaneyuki hadn’t specified any true interest in his last excavation. Nor had he stipulated that Oliver search in a particular area.

“You have an interest in Elizabeth Báthory?” Oliver raised a brow. It was the only thing that made sense. Csejte Castle wasn’t well-known for anything else.

“I suppose it’s a rather embarrassing admission, but yes. I find her story quite fascinating. I was hoping you could spend a little time excavating the area, in search of her unmarked grave, and… original accounts of the incidents. It’s rumored that she had a diary. I would very much like to add something like that to my personal collection.”

…line break…

“Mai… this is weird…” Yasu said. He looked at her before focusing on the road again. “You had a dream about this guy bathing in blood, and now he’s bringing up Elizabeth Báthory? I’m skeptical that it’s a coincidence.”

Mai nodded. “I agree. And the fact he wants a personal diary of hers to himself? It’s odd.” She waited a moment, listening to Naru and Kaneyuki speak. As the two discussed plans to dig around Csejte Castle, she pushed the button on the monitor on the dashboard.

“Hey Naru, this Báthory thing… see if you can’t find out why he’s so interested. I’ve got a hunch this ties into our investigation.”

Yasu sighed, “I really hope you’re wrong, Mai.”

“Yeah… me too.”

…line break…

“Your home is… interesting,” Noll commented. He looked towards the staircase that hung from the ceiling. It didn’t reach the floor. The last step was roughly an arms length over his head. “May I ask why you’ve chosen such… a unique design?”

Kaneyuki strode ahead of Oliver. “This design was inspired by the Winchester Mansion. I have a taste for the more unusual sights.”

Mai bit her nails as she watched the video feed. “Yasu… I don’t like this. I think we need to pull Naru out.” She continued to watch as Oliver followed after Kaneyuki through various hallways. There were multiple doors at random locations throughout the mansion. Some were horizontal, diagonal, and missing knobs or handles. Oliver nearly tripped, as one has been on the floor.

“Oh, I apologize! Do watch your step!” Kaneyuki had reached towards Oliver to steady him

Mai shifted closer to the screen when Oliver refused assistance. She inhaled deeply as Naru continued to follow after Kaneyuki. Once they reached an open door, Kaneyuki disappeared inside. Oliver cautiously followed.

The camera focused, adjusting to the dim lighting. Two arm chairs sat before a lit fireplace. A table with an empty wine glass sat between them. Off to the far right of the brick furnace was a closet. One of the doors was slightly ajar, offering a view into complete darkness.

Mai’s face dropped. She had seen the room before, in her dreams. It was a complete carbon copy of the image her mind had conjured. Smashing the call button, Mai allowed her instincts to take over. “Naru! Get out of there now!”

Yasu yanked Mai’s arm away. “Mai, he can’t just run! That would totally give him away! Besides, even though it’s really creepy, there isn’t any conclusive-”

“I saw this exact room in my dream! That door, it’s not for a closet! It leads into a long hallway! I know it does, and if Naru goes down it he’s dead! I don’t care if we have evidence or not at this point! Naru has to get out of that house!” she yelled at her partner before jamming the button again. “Naru, don’t follow him anywhere else!”

Holding a hand to his head, Yasu grabbed Mai’s cell phone and dialed the scientist. He at least needed an excuse to leave. Yasu planned to make up some story about needing Oliver for an interrogation… something like that.

The line rang, but Yasu didn’t hear Oliver’s phone ringing through the camera feed. Rather, Oliver was maintaining conversation, stalling for either Yasu or Mai to intervene.

“Oh, you must see my historical collection of the macabre! I’m sure you’ll find it fascinating!”

Yasu cursed, calling Oliver again - hopefully a signal would get through.

“I’m sure I would find it to be interesting, but we could take a look at another time. I’d rather finish our negotiations regarding your sponsorship. Though I have made time for you this afternoon, I must return to the lab. I’m expected to give a presentation to the bureau on Monday.”

Mai held her breath, hoping that Kaneyuki would escort Oliver out of the mansion. Oliver had given Kaneyuki a good reason to believe killing Oliver in that moment was a bad idea. He was expected to be somewhere related to the bureau within the next week, and Mai knew Kaneyuki was careful.

“Oh, please, just a moment! It won’t take long!”

Unable to understand Kaneyuki’s continued insistence, Mai gave Yasu a troubled look. The profile she had built of Kaneyuki… it appeared to mean nothing at all!

“Another time,” Oliver’s tone was slightly more forceful.

Kaneyuki’s features darkened with Oliver’s unwillingness to comply. Mai swore he had made eye contact with her through the camera. His nearly back irises instilled fear deep into her bones.

“Come along, Dr. Davis. I sincerely promise you will find it interesting.” His tone was chilling.

Oliver had stepped back. The camera shook as he was pushed forward. He struggled, dropping to his knees and he yelled, “Let go!”

“Oh shit…” Yasu cursed.

“We’re going in now! Call a team for back up!” Mai pushed the call button one last time, assuring Oliver they were on the way.

…line break…

Oliver lost his footing as he was forcibly escorted down a long, dark hallway. He tore a hole through the knee of his trousers upon falling. His shoulders burned as he was jerked upwards via his biceps. He yelled, demanding to be released. Neither of the two men on his sides yielded, rather, they followed behind Kaneyuki, pulling Oliver along.

Led into a garden of dead shrubbery, Oliver narrowed his eyes. A dried branch sweeped over his cheek. He bristled at the contact. Fidgeting, he dug the soles of his shoes into the stone pathway. His efforts didn’t do much in slowing his escorts. Oliver only managed to twist his ankle.

They approached a large door shortly after Oliver injured himself. Kaneyuki had stopped, placing a hand over the iron surface. He threw a nasty grin in Oliver’s direction. Oliver countered with a scowl. Before Kaneyuki pulled the latch on the door, Oliver thought he heard a voice coming from the other side. Straining his ear, he blinked. He thought he recognized it. It sounded much like his own.

The door was pulled open, hinges protesting with a squawk. Oliver was pushed forward. He lost his balance as the strong hold on his arms was released and tumbled to the floor. His palms pressed against cool tiles as he lifted his head. On the edge of his vision, Oliver saw movement in the far corner. Focusing his gaze, Oliver recognized his double, who was very much alive.

“Gene?!” Oliver sputtered out of genuine shock.

“Noll! Noll, you have to get away!”

A slick, slimy voice sounded inches from Oliver’s ear, “Didn’t I tell you that you would find my collection interesting?”

Oliver snapped his head back to see the malicious glint in Kaneyuki’s eyes. Before he had the chance to respond or move to his feet, he was dragged further into the room by a clump of his hair and thrown into the corner adjacent to Gene.

“No! Let him go!” Gene shouted. Oliver’s twin dove towards him, but was jerked back by his restraints. His chafed wrists began to ooze a sticky red and his shoulder gave an audible pop. Wincing, Gene strained himself, trying to get as close to Oliver as possible

Struggling against the men binding him in chains, Oliver caught sight of a ceramic bathtub. Deep set, copper red stains were streaked across its surface. His fight grew more frantic as he began to understand Kaneyuki’s actual plans.

During his resistance, Oliver’s phone was stolen from his pocket. The camera on his collar and the small earpiece in his ear canal went unnoticed, though Oliver suspected his connection with Mai and Yasu had been severed. He hadn’t heard anything from them…

Once fully restrained, Oliver’s phone was passed to Kaneyuki.

The man lingered over Oliver and taunted him, “Don’t worry, there’s still more to come, Dr. Davis. I’m sure you’ll appreciate a front row seat to a reenactment of the events that took place in Csejte Castle.”

#Ghost Hunt #GHW2020 #GHHQ #sprghosthunter #crime investigation AU #submission

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keeloves · 6 years

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My Top 10 least favorite Celebrities

Now keep in mind this list is simply my opinion I don’t mean to offend people and I do my best to give good reasons on why I don’t respect or like any of these people.

#10 Danielle Panabaker

I haven’t always had a problem with Danielle. She is the reason I started watching the Flash. I was also familiar with her work on Disney channel. She starred in the movies “Stuck in the Suburbs” “Read it and Weep” alongside her sister Kay Panabaker and most of you know she was in the movie Sky High. I was excited to see Danielle move on to bigger and better things. However, my issues with her began after watching her interviews and how I heard she tried to steal Candice’s spot as leading female. I tried to let it go at first but the more interviews I watched of her the more I started to lose respect for her. There was this ‘Ship war” between West Allen & Snowbarry. The problem with that is that Snowbarry is nonexistent. That was made up shortly after Candice Patton a black woman was cast as the leading female. Danielle has baited her racist shippers into thinking Snowbarry could happen. She has boasted about her and Grant’s chemistry right in front of Candice and Carlos and she has disregarded canon for the sake of baiting her SB shippers. Candice Patton has always talked about including more females on the show and Danielle boasts about being the “Only girl in STAR Labs” She even implied that her character Caitlin was jealous of Candice’s character Iris simply because of attention Iris waEs getting from guys. Candice on the other hand says, “That Iris will be fighting over a guy.” Danielle never once mentions Candice or her character in an interview but completely gets excited over Emily Bett Rickard’s character Felicity because “It was great having another female on the show.” Even though she got done bragging about being “The only female in STAR Labs” The worst thing is she tried to pass off a moment of sexual assault/harassment as a cute Snowbarry moment just get her portion of the fan-base excited. Even worse than that she did that in front of Candice and Carlos. Carlos even had to remind her she had her own ship called SnowStorm. In a most recent she did, she was asked about a Snowest friendship (Iris & Caitlin) she didn’t even give a straight answer she said something along the lines of “Iris doesn’t really make a lot of sense in STAR Labs and I am excited to see her journalism arc” and I am like that had absolutely nothing to do with the question that was being asked. Her answer sounded a lot like Iris West Allen haters. I don’t know if Danielle is doing this on purpose because she is mad at the fact she was not cast as the lead or is it because she really is that oblivious to the kind of horrible stuff people say about her female costar? Either way I don’t have much respect for Danielle because she is willfully ignorant to her privilege she has a white woman. Honestly Candice deserves a better female costar than the one she has now.

#9 Alexandra Shipp

She is known for playing Storm and the singer Aaliyah. Storm in the comics is a dark skin full blooded black woman. Alexandra Shipp is a mixed woman. Once again, the casting directors were too lazy to hire someone like Lupita to play Storm. When people expressed how upset they were that Alexandra Shipp was cast as Storm she basically told people to get over it. Okay now on one hand Alexandra is an actress so she should be allowed to play a part without getting back lash. However, the problem is that Hollywood has a long history of casting racially ambiguous/mixed women as all out black female characters who are supposed to be dark skin. Hollywood is colorist as hell. Alexandra basically said she isn’t going to miss any opportunity to audition for a part or take a part even if it is meant for a dark skin woman. As an actress she has a right to do that but the downfall this prove she is unaware of the privilege she has a mixed woman. As a mixed woman myself I believe we should be using our privilege to help up lift dark skin women. Media shits on black women enough and it’s even worse when mixed women who are half black are helping this problem. Sadly, Alexandra Shipp isn’t the only woman guilty of this. Yara Shahidi and Amandla Stenberg will acknowledge their privilege as mixed women but then turn around take parts meant for full on dark skin black girls. That is so hypocritical and this trend Hollywood and in media in general really need to die. So, I hope that these women stop doing this and really do something to fight against the colorism in Hollywood.

#8 Julie Plec

I have only watched to season 1 episode 7 of The Vampire Diaries. I have watched clips online too. Three reasons I have trouble getting through that show. One Damon is an abusive asswipe, two Delena and three Bonnie Bennet’s piss poor treatment. I put Julie Plec on this list because she called Delena sexy and treats her one black character the worst out of all the characters on the show. She is entitled to her opinion on Delena. However, my question is what is exactly sexy about an abusive relationship? Damon has raped and abused Elena and her friends, has killed several people she has care about because she didn’t do what he wanted, the biggest example is that when Elena rejected Damon he murdered her brother by snapping his neck. Yet she calls that a sexy relationship? She sabotaged Stelena and Bamon actual healthy relationships to force an unhealthy couple. The only time Damon is likable is when he is around Bonnie. Bamon on the show didn’t happen because Bonnie is black. They happened in the books because Bonnie was white in the books. The fact that Julie Plec can tease ships like Delena and Stelena but is so quick to shut down Bamon shippers is part of the reason racism in fandoms exist. Behavior like that from people like Julie Plec and Danielle Panabaker are only helping fuel a racist fanbase. You can’t tell me Julie has never seen the nasty racist stuff that Kat Graham the actress and Bonnie Bennet the character gets. If she has seen it and said nothing, then shame on her for not saying anything. Anyways I don’t have too much else to say but when I complete the series of TVD I will make sure to give more thorough opinion on the show and Julie.

#7 Marc Guggenheim & Wendy Mericle (This picture felt right due to my feelings on them)

These two will forever be known as the two idiots who ruined Arrow. I have three big problems with these two. One, their treatment of female characters, two the vast amounts of white washing and three how unprofessional they are. Every female character that has been killed off died in a way where they had no chance to defend themselves. Shado and Moria stabbed with their hands tied behind their backs and killed off for the sake of man pain. Sara Lance shot off a building with arrows while caught off guard. Dinah Laurel Lance Earth 1 the true Black Canary frozen by magic stabbed with an Arrow gets successful surgery only to have a random seizure and die. Really? However, the men on this show no matter how evil get to die as a hero. The worst thing about Laurel’s last moments is that she spent it with Oliver a man who treated her like shit and her last words were spent propping up his relationship with Felicity. Laurel was treated like trash all through out the show. Marc and Wendy didn’t know what character was going in the grave until episode 16. The death took place in episode 18. Katie Cassidy found out two episodes before that her character was going in the grave and she didn’t even find out in person she was told over the phone. So not only are Marc and Wendy unprofessional but they have proven themselves to be incompetent writers. Even John Barroman was dissatisfied at his departure from the show. They are also heavily misogynistic in their writing in the way they kill their female characters without giving them chance to defend themselves as I have mentioned earlier and in the way, they write Felicity. Felicity is written as a jealous bitch. She has been jealous of every single one of Oliver’s relationships. They had her refer to Lian Yu as fantasy Island a place that Oliver describes as his personal hell, just because there were two other women with him on the beach. Now on to the problem of white washing. Arrow has a bad habit of white washing characters. Here is a list of characters that Arrow has white washed https://thenerdsofcolor.org/2015/04/10/white-canary-and-arrows-habit-of-whitewashing/ Arrow also treats characters especially female characters like they are interchangeable. The character Evelyn Sharp is Starling in the comics but because she was introduced the episode after they killed Laurel she got the name Artimis attached to her due to the popularity of the Young Justice character to simply gain them more views. Evelyn Sharp/Starling are characters that have never had a live adaptation so why not do that character instead of mix matching characters. The next character they messed up is Dinah Drake who was established as Laurel’s mom on the show and she is the first Black Canary in the comics. Yet the show introduces to a new Black Canary named Tina Boland whose real name happens to be Dinah Drake. Arrow now has had four different Dinahs two of them being Laurel. Conner Hawk is now randomly John Diggle Junior and they have completely erased the Asian half. William and Samantha are supposed to be Blasian characters named Conner and Sandra Hawk only to be random white washed nobodies. .I hate how they treat their queer/lgbtq characters like trash. They forced a lesbian into a hetero marriage and have their one bi character sleep around. Marc even admitted two bi characters of the oppososite gender hooked up simply because they were both bi. I am sorry to all the LGBTQ people out there for being represented so terribly. Anyways thank god Marc and Wendy won’t be around for season 7 of Arrow. All though sadly their damage of the show will be left behind

#6 Marlene King

She is the writer for Pretty Little Liars and Famous in Love. I put Marlene on this list because of “creative choices” she has made in her shows. In Pretty Little Liars and Famous in Love she had characters statutorily raped and did nothing about it. Toby was raped by two women, one being his step sister Jenna and the second woman being Alex, Spencer’s identical twin sister. For those going to Alex didn’t rape Toby yes, she did because she pretended to be Spencer to trick Toby into having sex with her. Tricking someone into having sex with you is rape. The fact that Toby’s rape from Jenna was played off as a secret love affair is disgusting and purpurates the stereotype that all guys are horny and want sex. This ignores male rape victims. Then I watched the scene where Alex and Toby are “having sex” and the people in the comments are calling it cute just because Alex looks like Spencer. That is so gross. There is nothing cute about watching someone get raped. Then on Famous in Love Nina who is the mother of Jordan’s best friend was having sex with Jordan when he was 16 and she was an adult. All though I am having trouble with that because people say she didn’t know because Jordan lied about his age. I am not sure if that is true but if she didn’t and found out it was her job as the adult to put to a stop to it but if she did know and didn’t care then shame on her and she needs to be in prison in a cell next to Ezra Fitz who I will talk about next. Ezra Fitz purposely stalked four underage girls and started a relationship with one of them knowing full well that she was underage and knew he was going to be her teacher all to write a book about their missing friend who is another underage girl that he had a relationship with. This was never addressed in a nuanced way. Ezra never went to jail or prison. Instead people questioned his relationship with Aria, but not once did they call the police on him. He stalked the four girls while he claimed to be away on business. Then at the end of the series Aria and Ezra get married. Yes, that is right folks Marlene King had a victim marry their statutory rapist/stalker. Sadly, that is not the only abusive couple that ended up together. The one LGBTQ couple that ended up together was abusive and only ended together because of whiny ass fanbase and Emily’s eggs being implanted into Alison without either girl’s knowledge which is a violation of both girl’s bodies. I have gone on in the past on why I hate Emison so if you want to know more read my Top 10 worst couples list where you will find Emison and Ezria. The next problem I have is how Marlene treats poc characters and her lgbtq/queer characters. She treated Paige badly even though Paige had the most common sense. She made a few mistakes but learned from them and she didn’t get the happy ending she deserved. The show Pailey lived together but we don’t get to see that instead we get flash backs of Emison where Alison is abusing Emily. Maya a woman of color who was also bisexual killed off for shock value. Yvonne woman of color Toby’s finance killed off just because of Spoby, Charlette a transgender character made into a villain and killed off, Shauna made into a villain and killed off. Ugh. Anyways Marlene is guilty of promoting abusive relationships by having two be endgame. She is basically saying if “Your abuser is nice to you sometimes then you should give them what they want.

#5 Adam Horowitz & Edward Kitsis

They are best known for making the show Once Upon A Time. I wrote a long post on deviant art that I will copy and paste here if you want a more thorough explanation but those of you wanting a brief explanation on what my problem with them are here you go. I have four main problems. One, they way the treat male rape victims on the show, two the fact it took them seven seasons to have people of color on the show because prior to that they have been killed off, three the vast amounts of queer baiting they do and four the fact that a woman needs to have a child and a man to have a happy ending. The first lgbtq/queer couple they had were rushed, forced and slapped together and then the two characters were never seen again. It just felt like they wanted brownie points from the lgbtq/queer community for representation. They have had three females on male rape which two out of three of them were done by deception and two out of the three rapes had babies born from this. Okay now here is the long-winded version from Deviant Art about my problems with Adam and Eddie. Its long because it is my review on Once Upon a Time. “There is a lot I am going to say here. These are my overall thoughts on Once Upon a Time and the writers. Not all of this is going to be positive so be prepared. Once Upon A Time was a show I really enjoyed because of the many characters I grew up with got to be done differently and interpreted different ways. I thought the names characters had were quite clever. For example, Cora is the Queen of Hearts and Core means hearts, Regina Mills last named being Mills was because her mom was the Miller's daughter or how Rumpelstiltskin was called Mr. Gold or Detective Weaver because he weaved and spun gold. I loved all the clever names. My favorite story lines were Ruby being the wolf, and her boyfriend being named Peter as a nod to Peter and the wolf. I also enjoyed Ingrid as a character and I enjoyed the show for what it was. However, this show has many problems which I will now get into. The show's main problem is that villains’ actions are not called out properly. The two biggest examples are Regina and Rumple. Regina, has mass murdered three villages worth of people, separated children from their families, locked away Belle in a tower for 28 years and straight up raped Graham and yes folks I said it she RAPED Graham. Several people of asked Adam and Eddy about the Regina raping Graham argument and they have dismissed the argument by saying it Graham was Regina's sex slave. This isn't the only problem with Regina. She has committed so many heinous crimes and none of her main victims have called her out for it they just give her a free pass because "She's good now". Once Upon A Time has a huge problem with rape in general. Adam and Eddy have written three female on rape cases and never once bothered to address any of them. Two out of three of the came a child and two out of three rape victims ended up dying by murder basically and it was never dealt with again. Zelena killed Marion a woman of color (We are getting to that soon) shape shifted into her then raped Robbin Hood who was dating Regina at the time. Then Zelena gets pregnant and names her daughter Robin? Why? I truly believe it was to spite Regina and rub it in her face that she can't bear children of her own. What the hell were Adam and Eddy thinking naming Zelena's baby Robin? Then Gothel raped Nook/Wish Hook and had Alice. Why won't they address this issue. What about Emma and Neal. Neal aka Bealfire is over 300 years old or 24 for safety and Emma was 16 or 17 years old. No one thought that relationship was weird? I feel conflicted about Swanfire. The most problematic relationship to me is Rumbelle, it’s so awful even the actress who plays Belle hates the relationship. Why did Adam and Eddy make that a relationship at all? Rumple did nothing but lie and deceive Belle. He murdered Milah twice and now he can't respect Belle. It is honestly the most emotionally abusive relationship I have seen. These writers tried to shove it off as a dysfunctional relationship. It was that all right but it was very emotionally abusive and just really creepy. Rumple went so far as stalking Belle by putting a tracker bracelet on her and showed up at the library when Belle clearly didn't want him there. Belle honestly should have ended up with Ruby, Graham or Adam who was never introduced. Moving on from Rumblle up next the show's problems are how they treat their characters of color. Up until season seven there were no main characters of color. The characters were either one offs, or they died too soon. Rapunzel who was black appeared once and never mentioned again despite being a popular story, Gus Gus dies, Ursula basically a one off never seen again, Sydney a black man brought on and used as a slave or indentured servant depending on how you look at it either way bad. Tamera Neal's girlfriend killed off by Rumple, Mulan an Asian bisexual woman never got a happy ending but was there to cape for the white characters. The Dragon guy killed off, Merlyn dead, and many others have died as well. The next problem is the queer baiting on this show. This show took five seasons to give us a lgbtq couple and it was rushed, and they weren't seen again. The two most popular couples are Sleeping Warrior and Swan Queen. Sleeping Warrior was the closest thing to a healthy lgbtq interracial relationship. We were so close but nope Aurea had to get pregnant with Prince Philip's baby and they won't even let Mulan say she was in love with Aurea which really pisses me off because the writers have established her as bisexual but won't allow her a happy ending or a chance at true love. The only main canon lgbtq couple we got were Robbin and Alice. I think if Mulan were a white woman and in season 7 she would have gotten a happy ending and a wonderful love interest. (All though Mulan is Asian and should stay Asian because, I hate white washing) Swan Queen all though I am not big on it I do see why people ship it. All though can people take a minute and realize that Emma and Regina are step granddaughter and step grandmother? Then again Emma married her almost step father in law so this show is close to having incestuous relationship so why shouldn't they give Regina and Emma a chance? My biggest problem with the show is how Emma got treated like shit by the fandom and the writers. Emma who tried to save Marion's life had to apologize to Regina for "ruining her chances with Robin or making her life more complicated?" Excuse me but Regina was going to murder Emma as a baby, Regina is the whole reason Emma didn't have a family for 28 years of her life. Regina can drink a tall glass of STFU. Seriously these writers coddle the hell out of Regina and it is annoying as hell. As I said before Regina has kidnapped an entire town by cursing them, she raped Graham for 28 years and she mass murdered thousands upon thousands of people. Here these videos are a summary of all the messed up things Regina have done.www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q8bNf…. Then the writers have retconned Henry. He told Regina "You were the first person to love me." Excuse me but this kid was going to build an armory against her and ran away to Emma. Yeah Regina isn't abusive. Adam and Eddy also think that happy endings mean children and other true love. Really characters like Regina and Rumple should work hard to improve themselves but nope corners were crossed for those two and they got happy endings meanwhile good characters such as Mulan, Facillar, Milah, and many other characters who were actual good people didn't get a happy ending. Yet mass murdering rapists got happy endings that is so messed up. In conclusion Adam and Eddy are misogynistic assholes and have proven to be racist in their writing. They have also don't care about lgbtq people, male rape victims and the people of color on their show. I also found it really insulting that they portrayed women as incomplete if they couldn't bear children of their own. All in all, Once Upon a Time could have been a great show but instead it was mediocre.”

#4 Kanye West

If there were a contest on being the most arrogant and most full of yourself person Kanye would either win first place or he would take second to his in laws/his wife. He is colorist, he is an attention whore and he said that slavery is a choice. I hope he meant the mind set of slavery is a choice but I highly doubt it but I highly doubt it. He put a confederate flag on his clothing line. I have seen the price of his clothing is way too expensive. $200 for a shirt all because it says Yeeze? Then again there are purses that cost more than that just because the purse has the word Coach on it. His wife who isn’t even black takes things from black culture but never pays respect to the culture she is borrowing from and Kanye just supports this. Kanye has bashes other types music just because it is not his own and he is just so full of himself. He even said he supports Donald Trump which his right, but he probably said that for attention too. Anyways I have never really cared for Kanye I can’t say too much else about him.

#3 James Gunn

He directed both Guardians of the Galaxy movies which are both great. However, I don’t think he will be directing the third since he was recently fired over some ten-year-old tweets. Now tweets shouldn’t get someone fired but if you are making several jokes about pedophilia then that is probable cause to be to be fired. James Gunn made these tweets in his forties and never deleted them. First off why is James Gunn making several jokes about pedophile at the age of 40? He is now 50 and he didn’t use his common sense back then to know those are not things you joke about? Second why is that type of thing on his mind. He didn’t just make one joke about it he made several jokes about child molestation. If that is on his mind constantly then he needs to be psychologically evaluated. I honestly hope he hasn’t acted on the pedophilia because the fact that is something on his mind at age 40 is terrifying and he needs serious help.

#2 Robert Sylvester Kelly/R Kelly

He refers to himself as the Pied Piper of R&B. Which is ironically fitting since he the Pied Piper is known for kidnapping children. R Kelly is one of the most talented singers I have ever heard in my life. I listened to his music growing up. He “wrote” the song “I believe I can fly” and the song “Ignition” Now for those wondering why I put the word in qoutioans its because R Kelly is illiterate he can’t read or write. I am serious he is not dyslexic he has never learned to read or write according to his brother Carrey and Wendy William. Now as I said before R Kelly is one of the most talented singers but sadly he is also one of the most garbage human beings I have ever had the displeasure of hearing about. Where do I even start? There have been stories since the early 90’s of him being a predator. He would hang out at middle schools in Chicago as an adult picking up young girls, and promising[HK1] them money, gift cards and McDonalds. The girls he did get to come to his house he kept him them in their rooms or the basement, forced the girls to call him daddy and made them perform sexual acts on him. He pissed on a fourteen girl and married the singer Aaliyah when she was 15 and he was 27 at the time. In fact, for more detail about R Kelly and his creepy behavior here is a documentary of all the fucked-up things he did. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p060m6qx When R Kelly was 49 he dated a 19-year-old which wasn’t illegal but given his past history with girls that is just creepy. I also hate the fact he could afford to pay someone to teach him how to read and write but won’t because he used his money for lawyers and paid off the families of the girls he abused to keep them quiet. One day R Kelly will go to jail. I think the reason he stayed out of prison for so long are for two reasons. Number one he is famous and loads of money to pay people off and two he targets young black girls/women who are the least protected group in America. Anyways R Kelly needs to be in prison in solitary confinement until the day he dies. He is disgusting, and he is probably just as disgusting as my next choice for my number one pick.

#1 Gregory Daniel Jackson

He is better known by his YouTube alias Onision. He is a famous youtuber who tries to be like Shane Dawson in video style and in hair style. I put him on the list for the countless fucked-up things he has done to basically gain attention. He has met all his wives and his current wife over the internet while they were either 16 or 17. He was an adult at the time. He flies these women out to his house and has isolated them from their families. He put his first wife on blast because she didn’t want to have sex with him and gave out the number of partners she had as revenge for not wanting to have sex with him. The number was pretty high, then after treating her like garbage he left her several voice mails. If you don’t believe me here is the video of the “voice mails he left for her” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPnC3n2fpYs&t=1s . His second wife Shiloh lost three years of her memory and posted a video of her having a break down but apparently she was faking I am not entirely sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz_9s9SgQao and then filmed her having a meltdown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7HcGsMb5PQ I am linking these videos as proof because Onision is just gross. He encouraged Lainey to get a girlfriend even though she/”they” (Lainey is nonbinary but Onision calls her she all the time so I am not sure what pronoun to use for Lainey so I used both) was not into it. He only encouraged it to for his benefit. He killed his pet turtle/tortoise and to this day he will not admit that he did it. He put his turtle in on the grass put a plastic container upside down over the turtle and left it in the sun for two hours. He never owns up to what he did wrong and when he does he always makes himself out to be the victim. He has made jokes on self-harm, 9/11 and sexual abuse. He has made fun of people who struggle with their weight, eating disorders. He says things but later goes on to deny them. Anyways, he isn’t worth watching but if you plan on watching his videos I advise you to watch with caution. I almost forgot to mention people have had to call animal control on his ass. I pray he goes to prison soon. He even had to get a lawyer to find out if his marriage to his wife was legal or not. He lied about being honorably discharged from the military. Anyways, Onision is a narcissist, a sociopath and psychopath. He needs to go to prison and he doesn’t need to be making youtube videos. I forgot to mention if you are a meat eater Onion boy will hate on you wish death on you and get on his high horse on he is better than you because he doesn’t eat meat. He has done that in the past.

#anti danielle panabaker #anti alexandra shipp #anti marc guggenheim #anti wendy mericle #anti marlene king #anti adam horowitz #anti eddy kitsis #anti kanye west #anti james gunn #anti r kelly #anti julie plec #anti onision #my top 10 #the flarrowverse #pretty little liars #anti pretty little liars #The Flash #gaurdians of the galaxy

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iheartgracie · 2 years

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emma sinclair soft quotes part 1

“The woman was pretty in a natural, low-maintenance kind of way. Her shoulder-length hair was light brown and could have been mousy had it not been paired with gorgeous olive skin and wide, brown Bambi eyes.”

“It feels too much like I’m violating my six-month rule.”

“But your six-month rule is complete garbage,” Emma said, patting her hand.”

“I never know whether to hug them or punch them,” Emma muttered quietly at Riley’s side.”

“She’s not going where I think she’s going …,” Riley said to Emma out of the corner of her mouth.

“Yup,” Emma said, taking a long pull on her wine. “We should probably all invest in pink fuzzy diaries like we had when we were ten, because this shit’s about to get personal.”

“Oh no,” Grace groaned. “Last time Emma had a plan, I ended up secretly videotaping a man in a restaurant.”

“A man who just moved in with you,” Emma said triumphantly.”

“Well, consider that cat out of the bag,” Emma said, glancing around at the curious stares.”

“Failed marriages. What a delightful topic for an engagement party,” she said in that mellow southern voice.”

“It’s true,” Julie said practically. “It’s in a bunch of books and movies.”

“And if it’s in a movie, it must be true,” Emma said with an eye roll.”

“Yes,” Emma said, rubbing her hands together. “Because manipulation is so much more adult than confrontation.”

“I actually do have an answer for that,” Riley muttered. “It’s called hindsight. Because Fate has a fantastic poker face. You never know what’s in the cards until someone dumps the deck all over the ground.”

“What inspiring advice for a ninth-grader,” Emma said, quickly putting the letter into the rejection pile.”

“Nice one, Samuel,” Emma muttered as the three women slipped past.

“I want to watch,” Riley heard Julie say.

“And I want Ryan Reynolds for my birthday,” Emma snapped. “Get it together.”

“Emma sipped her mojito. “All guys look hot in a tux.”

Alex Cassidy, Oxford editor in chief and Jake’s best man, gave her a hooded look. “Even me?”

She didn’t even bother to glance at her ex-fiancé. “Hard to say. The whole effect is kind of ruined by your ego.”

“Sexy. A little slutty even. Go you!”

“That’s great, Jules. Slutty was just what I was going for on a random wednesday morning at the office.”

“You didn’t get dressed up on my account, I hope.” His voice never lost its casual politeness.

She didn’t so much as glance at him. “Oh, do you not like it? I’ve been so hoping a fancy dress is all it would take for you to ask for my number.”

“Friendly reminder my ass,”

“I saw him without his shirt once,” Grace said, leaning over. “He’s not a boy.”

Emma leaned in toward her friends, speaking up for the first time. “I saw him without his shirt once, too. Boy’s actually not so far off. He’s a little scrawny, and the lower half . . . eek.”

“And don’t touch my edits. I know it was one of you that tried to sneak the word penis into my last headline.”

“I met someone.”

Emma’s eyebrows lifted. “You’re taking three months off work because you met someone?”

“Why so cynical, Sinclair?” Camille paused. “Cynical Sinclair. That’s got to be a nickname of yours.”

“It’s not,” Emma said drily. “And by all means let’s not let it become one.”

“Not really,” Emma mused. “If they both lived in California, and he moved to New York and she to London, they moved the same direction. East.”

“And I thought you forbid us from setting you up on blind dates?” Grace said.

“Well, if you guys had a twenty-fourth-floor apartment overlooking Central Park to bargain with, maybe I would have reconsidered,” Emma said.”

“Was hoping for love at first sight.

Oh, it was love at first sight all right, Emma texted back.

Wait, what? Do I get a do-over on my maid-of-honor gig?

Don’t buy your bridesmaid dress just yet. He fell in love with someone else. I think I actually WATCHED it happen.”.

“I hope you smashed his balls when he told you. No. Lit them on fire.”

“Yes, because that’s totally something I would do,” Emma said, grabbing a fork to stir her pad Thai. “Light a man’s testicles on fire.”

#slas #slas series #sexlove&stiletto #sex love & stiletto #lauren layne #laurenlayne #lauren layne books #lauren layne series #oxford series #emmasinclair #emma sinclair quotes #emmacassidy

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invested-in-your-future · 7 years

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This season of Arrow is absolutely the best. PLS WATCH IT

Here’s the simple way to judge whether Arrow is still misogynist trash:

Is Laurel Lance still dead?

Are Guggenheim’s fanfic characters(ex: Tunaface, Felicity) still propped up into roles they don’t deserve?

Is Laurel Lance still dead?

If answer is yes to any of that, then the show is still shit and does not deserve anyone’s time being wasted on it.

Arrow has been same low quality wannabe Batman nonsense since the very start. The difference being that at the start it was still interesting and coherent and it was the only DC TV show available. But over the course of show it went worse and worse. The writing kept getting worse and worse and the female characters got treated worse and worse.

Season 2 was pretty much mostly trash.For starters most of the first half was utter filler with literally everybody but Laurel Lance being completely and utterly braindead, while Oliver literally sleeps with everybody.

Season 3 was literally a filler season. The only good parts there were Laurel’s storyline and Laurel seemingly being built up as a superhero, albeit way too slow.

Season 4 was an absolute trash of misogyny and sexism. And not only that - the writing literally was braindead - nothing made any logical sense. The writing was so bad that it would have made kitsch like Vampire Diaries look like fucking Twin Peaks in comparison….And yeah, the show made huge mistake in fridging Laurel Lance, the one and only Black Canary. It is not a mistake to be forgiven or glossed over.

What I know about Season 5 frankly does not sound in anyway fun or watchable:

I know that the main villain is pretty much Discount-Bane

I know that majority of season is the same old Oliver Queen mangst.

I know that Guggenheim is still propping up Felicity Smoak as some paragon or virtue and best character ever.

I know that Guggenheim decided to insult all the fans of Black Canary by just throwing the title around to random characters, including his new favorite writers pet I like to call Tunaface Canary because I just can’t remember her name.

I know that the writers pulled despicable bait and switch with Katie Cassidy returning to show only to shit on Laurel Lance yet again. All for the sake of ratings.

I know that writers completely mishandled Black Siren and she should have stayed on Flash or gone to Legends.

I know that Guggenheim still believes fridging Dinah Laurel Lance for sake of manpain was absolutely totally correct decision and keeps trying to rub it in via not so subtle plotlines in the show telling the viewers that.

I know that Guggenheim continues to be a disrespectful shit towards the Black Canary fanbase.

I know that the showrunners and the overall Arrow fanbase alike have been incredibly sexist and awful towards Katie Cassidy and treat her like shit.

WHY WOULD anybody but straight white males or tangerine voters watch this shit? WHY? Scratch that, why would anyone SMART watch this shit?

The show is literally feeding it’s viewers the same exact kitsch it has always been feeding them. Why should I care about Oliver’s toxic manpain and mangst? Why should I watch yet another wannabe-batman plotline with no fun or good writing to be found? Why should I forget utterly despicable misogyny of Marc Guggenheim and forgive the show for fridging one of THE MOST ICONIC heroines in the whole DC verse?

I should not.

Arrow is trash and belongs in the trash and I will never understand why would anybody hype up this season as something different. I mean I am sure misogynists and all that will keep loving the show, but no just no.

There are plenty of shows that do the superhero thing better. There are four whole seasons of Agents of SHIELD available where Chloe Bennet’s character gets EVERYTHING LAUREL LANCE DESERVED AND MORE

Let it die.

#Arrow #Arrow CW #CW Arrow #Laurel Lance #Dinah Laurel Lance #Black Canary #DCTV #DC comics

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youngbadgal · 5 years

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9.3.19

ive been in a funk recently. my owners moved me back from texas bc they fired my company from that property. june was a shit show of a month.

SOOO fucking happy to be back in nashville but now i live with mom and i hate my job. ive tried everyday for like a month to find a new job + new living situation. im done with apartment living (mostly for oliver) but i like the feeling of living in a house and roommates. just been hella stressed and unhappy for a while.

but today i washed my face and ive been on here all day and listening to all my old favorite music. i forgot how therapeutic this is for me. also just a great creative outlet. the other day i made a playlist on spotify of all my old music from like 2008... like i will forever love a day to remember and four year strong.

i went back under my “me” tag and read random life updates from a few years ago. love that this can be like a diary.

so hey thank u tumblr for being there & sorry i forgot about u for a while.

#me #venting

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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A Diary of My January Goals (and How I Kept Them)

http://fashion-trendin.com/a-diary-of-my-january-goals-and-how-i-kept-them/

A Diary of My January Goals (and How I Kept Them)

Did January even happen if you didn’t make a resolution, fail to follow through on said resolution, and go so far as to forget about it by the time February launched? Probably not, which is why at the top of the month, instead of producing a list of lofty to-dos with no hard deadlines (see: get better at meditating, be nicer to my mom), I set three manageable intentions (this is what my yoga teacher calls them), all of which maintained a start and end date.

The first was to journal every morning and evening in a notebook that my friend Claire bought for me called The Five-Minute Journal. The second was to make myself at least one meal a day to eat at home (not including breakfast, which I always eat at home) because I order so much damn shit on Caviar, it makes me sick as both a consumer of plastic flatware and a member of the workforce who has better places to spend her hard-earned dollar, dollar bills. The third goal (or intention, whatever) was to record how I felt and/or what happened as a result of embracing the aforementioned two goals — so here I am, executing like the Chief Operations Officer that I will never be. I decided these goals would start on January 1st and end on January 31st.

Now that it is February 1st, I can say with conviction that I finally (!) for once (!) kept my resolutions. And do you know how I feel? Like I fucking own 2018. I’m thinking about continuing to set easy-to-achieve goals for every month to see how long this trend of both self-improvement and ownership over the Gregorian calendar can last. Some of them will only run for the course of a month (I have resolved to keep metal silverware in my desk, but man is it worth spending my hard-earned dollar, dollar bills on black rice bowls from Dimes) while others might turn into habits that stick with me (I really like journaling, for example). But let me not get ahead of myself. Here’s a more elaborate breakdown of what happened in January.

Goal #1

The way The Five-Minute Journal works is you are essentially guided through a daily journaling practice. You are presented with three prompts to respond to when you wake up in the morning: What are you grateful for? What would make today great? What is today’s daily affirmation? The first two questions leave room to reply with three different answers that can obviously run a gamut — they can be as meaningful or simple as you want. The daily affirmation is really up to you. Once you’ve done this and gone on with your day and then let the day end, you are supposed to re-open the journal and complete the day’s practice by answering the two evening prompts: What are three amazing things that happened today? And how could you have made the day better?

My morning answers have run a range from the very superficial (I was grateful, for example, on the day last week that Instagram pulled it together and helped me find a pair of boots), to the kind of obvious (I’m grateful for my mom, for the roof over my head; these responses are givens that are constantly on my mind, and don’t really make me feel like I am truly doing my part to journal), to the slightly more esoteric (on January 16th, I was grateful that I was anxious because I know that I stress when I feel stuck, and the anxiety forces me out of a state of stasis). My daily affirmation has remained the same: I’m a great mom. I’m a great mom. I’m going to launch a new brand in 2018 and I am a great mom.

The night answers were more impactful. They forced me to reflect on the day I had just endured and particularly on the days that felt slightly more challenging. It was relieving to train myself to think about the great things that happened. On most days, surprisingly, the great things were initially metabolized as shitty things. But the real value of journaling for me was less about the guided writing so much as it has been the time-capsule that I am building by keeping this journal. I’ve taken it upon myself, for example, to include a short note at the top of each page expressing a random detail to encapsulate that day. Some of these notes have been as benign as “Brother’s birthday,” while others have been more involved: “I am super fucking irritable today and can barely look Abie in the face.” These will, no doubt, serve as wild reminders of the vicissitudes of a last trimester of pregnancy in a capacity that is structured, short-form and therefore easy to revisit.

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Goal #2

On my food preparation bender, I have this to say: while some women nest, I think I eat. I have become the most curiously adventurous eater, which is probably not a great thing while you are pregnant but I’m also being dramatic when I say “adventurous” (I mean that I’m eating persimmons more often, and swapping out honey crisp apples for Asian pears). I also made the best three-bean chili known to mankind the other night using nothing but some canned diced tomatoes, spices, and pinto, cannellini and black beans. And avocado! There was avocado too.

I am lucky because I live two blocks from my office, which makes it easy to go home and make lunch if I want to, but for the most part, I’ve been opting out of dinner plans in the name of domesticity. At the end of the work day, I executed a number of dishes I never thought myself capable of creating: zucchini noodles with tomato sauce; mushrooms, carrots and peas (so easy); mung bean stew (requires a slow cooker); the aforementioned chili, tuna fish salads in oil, mayo or anything bad for you (except, you know, the actual tuna); and, of course, sweet potatoes in all their permutations. Once I made chicken Livornese (so basically drenched in tomatoes with black olives and capers and garlic, etc.) and got really dramatic when Abie told me he’d be home at 6:30, then didn’t show up until 8. I yelled about cold chicken, and his abandoning an 8-month pregnant wife, then he apologized, we ate the cold chicken and that was that.

Let me tell you, though, it is a thankless job to consistently care for someone else. I say this now like I know what I’m talking about. What’s going to happen when there are kids? Sorry. I’m digressing.

Goal #3

See above. Here’s the bottom line:

Set short term goals for yourself! They’re easy to manage and achieve, and a creative way to make winter (I do believe this is the first time February has started without my wanting to crawl out of my own skin) feel less insufferable.

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