Lover Boy But It's The Camp Nano Intro?
Sometimes Beau thinks his heart must be made out of the most fragile, feebly tissue paper – the dainty pink stuff pushed into the bottom of a Valentines giftbag, the biodegradable kind that immediately crumbles when it’s met with water or trash compost or an uncaring hand. But it’s not his fault he’s a hopeless romantic.
genre: adult litfic
setting: san francisco, 1980s
deals with: grief and loss, queer history + the AIDS crisis, sex and the body, terminal illness and caretaking, being a hopeless romantic but like for all kinds of love, platonic love, friendship when one of them is ill and knows they will likely die, disability and how caretaking can reshape dynamics
summary: It's about love, babey! Beau tries to navigate all the different types of love in his life -- romantic, sexual, platonic, familial, communal, self -- as he leans into relationships, even the unhealthy ones, to try to cope with the death of his best friend Bobby, who Beau took care of whilst he was sick for two years. Told with a dual timeline showing those two years as Beau processes it. It's about being messy and confused and trying to understand how to move forward when the biggest part of your life is now gone. It's about being in love with your best friend but like platonically and also your best friend is dead. It's about queer sex and grief and caretaking and the AIDS crisis. Beau is also obsessed with horror movies and is definitely autistic but doesn't know it. Bobby loved volcanoes and mountains, acrylic painting, David Cronenberg movies and also The Muppets (his fave was Gonzo btw). If you want to know more I have a more detailed WIP intro and also the tag where I post way too long excerpts!
status: 16,391 words into the first draft, but that's been writing whenever/whatever I want rather than a consistent routine
my goal?: get a consistent drafting routine LOL. Word count wise I'd like 15k to basically double it, but we will see! Would love to write everyday at least though.
I haven't done taglists in a while buuuut if people are doing camp nano taglists? That could be fun? This story is so sad but sometimes it is so silly and fun. If you like stories where the grief and joy hold hands then this might be for you !!
What Beau remembers: The quiet when, for a long moment, Bobby didn’t speak. Then, a whisper. “Today wasn’t the day.” And Beau understood what he meant, a painful but deep knowing -- how they still weren't ready, whenever they talked about it, to say the word die.
“No, today wasn’t the day.”
Bobby, quieter. “And tomorrow. Tomorrow won’t be the day either.”
“I don’t think it will.” Beau thinks, at this moment, that he kissed the top of Bobby’s head, or he whispered one into his hair, pressed his cheek into it. At least, that’s how he remembers, or how he wants to. “I don’t think it will be the day for a while.”
What Beau remembers: Bobby, still quiet, his breathing slowed. But still awake. How he moved closer, and Beau held him tighter. Sometimes Beau believed that if he just held onto Bobby tighter it would somehow lengthen the time between now and the day, that the universe would sense their closeness and not dare to sever it. All if Beau just held him closer, heartbeat to heartbeat. It was so dark in the room, the moonlight a thin sheet behind the curtains; just them and their bodies, their breaths. And he thinks he remembers Bobby smiling, that he felt it or even sensed it, the presence of something happy, something that, for a moment, let itself be hopeful. “Your heartbeat is so relaxing,” he said. “I love that you sleep like Dracula.”
39 notes
·
View notes
LINK: Now i like your stupid face
summary: Friendships have developed, and now that everyone's catching on, Jon's catching something else...
ft. Damian fixing Jon's attire to his level, some selfies and chillin, and Jon catching feels for our boy Dami
The dynamic doesn’t change much, at first. It had still been teasing and annoying and provoking each other to see who’ll rise to the bait first, but with a layer of friendliness, of knowing that it's just fun and games.
It was the little things that began to clue the rest of them in, his friends first and foremost, who, at the time, still bristled when Jon neared Damian in their presence, more so when they began teasing each other. Once they caught on, the rest of the school who’d begun to be invested in their situation since the day Damian’s books met the floor, began to as well.
Things like Damian’s use of more informal language than the robotic textbook he often sounded like, Jon’s attendance and grades, the way they seemed to gravitate towards each other when in the other’s presence.
The fights became nothing but banter, usually ending in laughter, much to everyone’s bewilderment. Jon’s coffee intake became less and suddenly he was showing up to tutoring with two cups of tea rather than a single cup of coffee.
Damian seemed less stiff all the time, clothes changing just slightly to be pronounced casual prep, wearing long earrings with cuffs in an ear, eyeliner making its reappearance onto his person, although it was a soft brown framing his eyes rather than the harsh black.
It was puzzling to the rest of the world how they were getting along now. Damian was questioned on it, giving such vague answers they all stopped trying to ask anyways. Jon became a steady presence in their lies, dragging Akira along with him, much to their distaste.
They’d developed a stable bond, despite being polar opposites in reality. Damian was still determined to fix Jon’s mannerisms and clothing taste, although mentioning such made Jon scowl and retort with the fact that there was nothing wrong with what he wore.
“It’s all…wrong.” Damian eyed him critically from the vantage point of Jon’s bedroom doorway. Jon himself was on the bed, flopped on his stomach and scrolling through his phone.
“Everything I do is wrong to you, Dames.” Jon muttered, feeling his face heat up as the words came out disgustingly fond instead of the exasperated tone he was going for.
He had moved from the doorway into the room fully, opening the door to his large closet and examining the contents.
“You have a perfectly acceptable wardrobe here, i can’t fathom why you don’t use it,” He tsked, yanking a shirt off a hanger. “And you can’t tell me it does not ‘fit with your aesthetic’, because you can certainly make it fit with whatever this is.”
“You just gestured to all of me,” Jon deadpanned as he rolled over, placing his phone down.
“Take everything off.” Damian demanded, throwing a bundle of clothes at him.
“Take a guy to dinner first, jeez,” Jon smirked, catching the clothing. “I don’t put out on the first date anyways so…”
“You’re impossible,” Damian huffed, tugging at the collar of his sleeveless black turtleneck, the shirt tucked into green harem-style pants. He turned around to both give privacy and to continue a search for what he deemed better clothing. Without turning around, he tossed a beanie at him, another thing for him to put on.
“Are you decent?” Damian asked dryly a few minutes later, turning around anyway. Jon was shoving the beanie on his head, twisting it in a way that it messed his curls.
“Here, let me,” He adjusted it, looking him up and down. Blue caught green and held each other gazes even if just for a moment. Said moment was broken as Damian shook his head, sitting him back down and going to rummage in the bathroom connected to Jon’s room.
“What’re you doing?” Jon pulled up his snapchat, taking multiple pictures with different filters. Damian came back out equipped with all the makeup that that other owned.
“I’m going to teach you to wear the atrocity you call makeup correctly.”
Jon looked actually offended by the statement, and dodged as a makeup wipe came at him. “There’s nothing wrong with it!”
“It’s offending my sensibilities.”
“My brother used to wear it like this-!”
“Does he now? No. Do you know why? Because Timothy got him to see the error in his ways by simply existing . He looks equally as dramatic now as he did then.”
“But I'm not my brother and I will not be swayed by your Wayne child charisma.”
Damian tackled him and they wrestled around the bed for a minute, before the smaller boy flipped them and pinned down his wrists, straddling his lap.
“Haha.” Damian said triumphantly. Jon was extremely aware of how they were placed and flushed accordingly, looking anywhere but the smaller boy on top of him, because they were just friends, just friends, justfriends-
“Oy!” Kon’s voice rumbled from the stairs just as Damian began to attempt to wipe away his eyeliner. “Y’all better have clothes on!”
“kON!” Jon’s voice cracked, the pitch going higher with embarrassment.
Damian made no move to get off, simply putting on an appalled expression. He had so many siblings that in this day and age he’d rather continue with what he was doing and ignore the embarrassing jeers from Jon’s older brother.
“Stop moving, hayseed, you’re making this much harder than it has to be.” He finally got most of it off, and then applied most of it as usual. He brandished the eyeliner like a sword, and made Jon sit up, despite not moving from his lap.
“A-ain’tcha gonna get off?” He mumbled, sure his face was as red as it felt.
“Shh. And no, this makes for a better angle.” the pencil dragged against his skin and flecked up, creating a thin dramatic wing, the polar opposite of the tiny subtle one Damian so often wore.
He did the other side, capping the pencil and finally scooting off, taking the supplies back to the restroom after he’d finished.
Jon admired himself in the camera of his phone, immediately posting a bunch of pictures. Damian shoved him over and leaned back onto the bed, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone. He’d been making more use of it now, Jon's influence, he was sure.
The taller boy held up his phone and snapped a selfie of the two, a cheery rose colored filter on and hand drawn hearts in the corners. Jon was smirking and had thrown up a peace sign, and Damian had looked up for a minute, looking largely unamused.
He posted it on all of his socials, tagging Damian and slumping back down. After a moment’s consideration, he scooted forwards and placed his head so that it was resting on Damian's crossed legs.
“Get off.” Damian grumbled, making no move to actually push him off his person. He only shoved off the beanie, threading his fingers into the raven curls and pushing his head to the side in a playful manner, keeping his eyes on his screen.
“Meh.” Jon stared up at his phone, moving his head back to where it had been, Damian’s hand still in his hair. They stayed in silence the rest of the time there, only moving once Damian had gotten the message he needed to leave.
“I arranged your closet, since we’re friends I thought I might offer you some more outfits than the typical one you always wear. Your jacket will go with any of them.”
He waved to the small cubbies, seven outfits for seven days of the week. it was a gift, in an odd sort of way. Jon felt both pleased and mildly irritated, because really, what was he, a five year old who needs their clothes set out for them?
He finally settled on a simple,“Huh. Thanks, D.”, before sitting up.
“I gotta get over to your house and make you look more normal because despite this being your designer casual prep, you still look like you came out of a magazine.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult?” He asked, stretching out now that Jon was no longer keeping him from moving. He stood, grabbing his bag from the floor and slinging it over his shoulder.
“Not really, more of an observation.” Jon shrugged, looking at him from upside down. “But you’re going to wear jeans and a hoodie one of these days, at the very least.”
Damian rolled his eyes. “We’ll see, Kent. I’ve got to be going now, I’d better see you on time for tutoring tomorrow.”
“Yessir.” Jon called as the other boy exited his room and went down the steps. As the downstairs door closed, Kon poked his head into the room.
“You guys are so disgusting.”
He threw a pillow at his brother's face. “Shut UP, Kon!”
The next day’s session went on, Jon being only two minutes late and making up for it by presenting Damian with a cup of tea, blended drink in his own hand.
“I dunno how you can stand to drink that stuff when it’s getting so warm out.” Jon scrunched up his face, the gesture making Damian turn to hide a small smile.
It wasn’t his fault the expression was endearing, okay?
“I don’t understand how you can pay eight dollars for a glorified slushie of milk and sugar with a dash of caffeine.” He retorted, taking the cup.
“Shut up and drink your tea,” Jon slid into the seat next to him, their bodies smushed into each other. He took the needed papers and books out, setting them next to Damian’s books.
He picked up the papers Jon had set out and hummed a noise of approval. “You’re doing much better in your classes, Jon. Congratulations. By the end of this year, you should have the satisfactory marks for all your credits, including the ones you had to make up.”
“Thanks, D.” he grinned, before adding more quietly. “Guess I couldn't have done it without you.”
“Of course not.” Damian turned his head to the side, looking at him with a soft look in his eyes, rather than the teasing one Jon had assumed they would hold.
The warmth that it held flooded the other boy, and he flushed as a small smile accompanied it, hint of white peeking through soft lips.
Some emotion flashed on Damian’s face and he looked away, light pink tinting his skin. “L-let’s begin. This shouldn’t be that hard, it’s nearly identical to what you did last week-”
Jon tuned him out, only the sound of his voice filling his ears as his mind began to wander. It was so…so indescribably amazing how they’d gone from where they had once been to where they were now. Whatever he threw at him could be thrown right back, hot and cold, light and dark, the most cliche polar opposites…
God, what was he, a love sick teen?
Oh.
Oh, no.
“Are you paying attention?” Damian snapped him out of his mid realization. “Jonathan?”
“I uh-” Jon stood, knocking his chair over. ”Igottagotothebathroomberightback-”
He rushed out of the library, leaving a concerned and curious Damian behind to pick it up. He crashed into the empty restroom, turning on the water and splashing his face.
This was not good. Possible the biggest understatement of his life, but how else could this be described? Sure, he’d always been attracted to the other, and maybe it had grown just a little within the few months of them talking, but not a crush size.
Couldn’t be.
And if it was, he was doomed to the unrequited feelings of a trashy fanfic. This was Damian, Damian, who was a secret badass, his tutor, and most importantly, one of the only people to have beat down his advances.
God, he was so fucked.
He splashed some water on his face, looking at himself in the mirror. He shut his eyes and breathed in. This was fine. It would be fine.
He came out with a smile and an apology as if he hadn’t just run off like a frightened deer, and denied all of Damian’s attempts at concern.
He just had a crush on the closest friend he had. Like he said.
Fine.
38 notes
·
View notes