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#Megatron/reader
ss-shitstorm · 8 months
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Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕
oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD
So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)
THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.
Books :
Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.
Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)
An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.
(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)
Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.
The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives
Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)
Youtube Channels :
The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis
Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.
again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.
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swervesbootycall · 2 years
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I am here to make a very self indulgent request, as all of us are, with Megatron/Bot (He/Him) reader but like. With some royalty kink. King and loyal knight stuff. Please and thank you friend. I'm sure you know exactly why I'm requesting this but shhhhh.
-I’ll go with TFA Megs for this one! Sorry pronouns didn’t quite come up with second person, but thankfully second person is good for proxy. Pre war’s end-
——
House Tarn was old, noble, and down to exactly one member who towered over you where you knelt at the base of his throne. Command chair. Captain’s seat? You weren’t sure of the terminology as applied to space-craft..
“Lord Megatron,” you kept your helm down, optics to the ground and one knee flat, “our fleet reports moderate casualties accrued from the enemy forces, but ultimately we have been successful in driving them back and destroying the Bridge allowing them to access the Luciferian Sector.”
“And Straxus?”
“…Remains well seated my lord.”
Throwing shadows over you, Megatron stood and stalked to the window with hands clasped behind his back. You knew this because you’d stood as he had, following protocol, and watched for any signs of summoning.
“You’ve done your duty well, but I wonder if maybe Lord Straxus has perhaps earned a…change in scenery.”
“My Lord?”
Megatron turned and offered an outstretched Servo. Naturally as venting, you closed the distance and allowed him to cup your chin.
“What would you do for me, commander?”
“Anything, Lord Megatron.”
“Would you turn on your own superior, commander?”
You blinked, and the words spilled out faster than your processor could fully analyze them.
“You…want me to turn on you? I don’t under-“
Oh.
Megatron’s optics flashed with mirth and he barked a laugh. Your field turned to flustered static, but you struck the proper salute.
“Lord Megatron, House Tarn, rightful Liege of all Decepticons, I would dispose of any and all obstacles to your will regardless of personal affiliation. My fealty is absolute.”
Megatron’s grin softened and his opposable digit stroked your cheek line thoughtfully.
“You truly are my most valuable asset,” he rumbled, “before I make up my mind as to Straxus’ fate, perhaps I should reward that ‘absolute fealty’ of yours.”
Your sparkbeat quickened, and you reset your vocalizer several times in order to dampen the audibility of your eagerness.
“If it pleases my lord I will accept any grace he would bestow on his loyal servant.”
“Wonderful.”
And in just a few motions he had danced you to the throne and bent you over the seat. Your aft he massaged and teased only briefly before your panels slid away. It was with pride you noted that your spike had already fully pressurized without your having given away how desperately you had begged the universe to align this way. For your lord and ruler to use you how you ached for him to.
“I had a feeling,” Megatron murmured in your audial as he lined up the buzzing pressure you knew to be the swollen nodehead of his own spike, “Well, you have served me well. Beyond competently, commander. I think it’s time you were given a rightfully earned promotion,” he trailed a digit up the underside of your spike, “ah, yes indeed commander. Just once let yourself have a little indulgence. It would please me, after all, to hear you praise your true sovereign. Especially as I don’t intend to make it easy for you to vocalize much more than static.”
And on that, he entered you with the force of a hurricane.
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bowietron · 1 year
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WAHEY I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THIS ACCOUNT EXISTS FHFKFJFKDH
Here have some was supposed to be silly and lighthearted G1-ish Megatron/reader but it got sad towards the end self insert thing that I dug out of my Google docs dhdkdhdjdh
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justanotherperson1 · 7 months
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My most recent chapt of my fic went up a couple weeks ago and @themaskismyface commented an idea that induced this bought of ‘no thoughts only draw’ lol.
Quoting from comment:
…I can imagine him (Megatron) struggling to understand all the online recipes and simply just kidnap Gordon Ramsay, either to teach him how to cook or to be a temporary chef in the Nemesis.
Ramsay's gonna be terrified for the first few hours but I imagine they'll end up in a screaming match over what and what not to put in your food…
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tinydefector · 13 days
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Do you think cybertronians ever get a bit freaked out on how tough we are? Yes they can break us like toothpicks but humans seem to be able to take a good beating as well with adrenaline helping. Even our own body and oxygen trys kills us and yet we stick around like roaches. We're fragile in some reasonable and dumb ways and then resilient in the most dumbest ways.
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Oh definitely, alot of the bots are very off put by how fragile humans are just in general and tend to avoid them.
But then there's the moments like Ratchet working a late shift and a small knock on the door alerts him someone's there, he turns around expecting it to be Rodimus or Whirl who he's about to scold but instead it's one of the humans and they look worse for wear. After fussing over them for a moment, detailed scans relay fractured ribs, a broken collar bone, and a heap of bruises and yet the humans just like. "Can I have some Panadol, Nurophen, and a glass of water?" Because they don't know what else to do its what they would get. Most of the times they ended up in the hospital. Ratchet is losing his God dawn mind as he rushes around looking for the best painkillers he can find for orgaincs in the smallest dosage he can give, hoping to primus it doesn't shut their heart down. In the end, they end up on a medication that makes them extremely drowsy, almost like the green whistle/ Weed.
Ratchet ends up doing alot of study on the human body and realises just how fucked up little monsters we are. We literally need oxygen to survive but he we have to much pure oxygen it will kill us. Water, we need a certain amount of it, if we don't have enough we will get dehydrated and die, if we have to much we will get water poisoning, intoxication, or a disruption of brain function. This happens when there's too much water in our cells, such as the brain and blood cells, causing them to swell. When the cells in the brain swell, they cause pressure in the brain, resulting in death. The issue is that it can become an addiction to drinking too much water for the effect it has on the body. Same with nearly everything we consume, it can kill us, but we need a lot of it in moderation.
Human: "I just need some basic pain killers and a nap"
Bot: "No, you need full surgery, sedations, and 3 weeks of recovery!"
Human: "nah she'll be fine!"
Bot: "Absolutely Not, bed now before I cuff you"
____________
Following that imagine a first contact AU where Cybertronians and humans are just slowly getting to know how the other works and next thing a human is kneeling over in horrific pain and it send the bots all into panic mode trying to help them, wondering what's happening and thinking they are dying. And the human after about ten minutes some pain killers still looking rather pale and unhealthy just go. "Sorry about that fuck I hate, Cramps/palpitations/ phantom pains/ and such" and the bots are just looking at them horrified like.
Bot: NOT NORMAL!!!"
Human: what you talking about?
Bot: everything that just happened you literally just short circuited!
Human: nah that's causal wait till you see the really funky shit.
______________
Human pet AU
Cybertronian's keeping humans as pets is like humans keeping hamsters. Humans are some of the most homicidal, suicidal and just deranged creatures that Cybertronian's could keep as pets. It's gotten to the point that they are a luxury/ exotic pet because if you do not feed them the right stuff, give them the right amount of light and socialising, and they will just die. There are so many Cybertronian's who take their human into clinics worried as and its just the human being a little bustard because they didn't get the treat they wanted 2 weeks ago and are still holding that grudge. Not to mention, we are prone to causing as much trouble and issue. We are like cats.
But we are also very easily sick and primus forbid a human gets sick because to a bot they think it's a death sentence for their sweet little spitfire of a human who they have had now for ages. And the human looks ready to die, and the next day, they are up and about like nothing ever happened.
Human: if you don't feed me the meals I want I'm going to pretend to die. If you do feed me what I want I might actually die because I shouldn't be eating it.
Panicked bot: "MY HUMAN HAS GOTTEN SICK. HELP!?!"
Human: totally worth it.
_________
In conclusion, the cybertronians are rather wary/ concerned about how resilient humans really are.
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mariacrow · 10 months
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How would tfp cons react to their human female s/o got captured by Airachnid?
Sorry for typos or any kind of mistakes 😭 I lose my darn concentration while writing this long
Hope you like it! 💜
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STICKY SITUATION
✦ TFP Decepticons x reader ✦
2nd person
female reader
AU where the reader has joined the Decepticons and mostly works in the lab or helps with repairing
reader is captured by Airachnid mostly because of her envy
kidnapping, possessiveness, threats, heated arguments/fight (physical)
injuries, blood, rescue, comfort
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MEGATRON
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Airachnid would hunt you down, wrap you in that sticky web-like substance of hers and bring you to lord Megatron with an excuse that you sabotaged a project and set the whole lab on fire while in fact it was her doing
Accusing you of unloyalty while standing before Megatron's feet, you'd scream and beg him to listen to you, claiming Airachnid is lying
Airachnid: SILENCE, YOU TRAITOROUS RODENT!
She would shout as she'd seal your mouth with the sticky substance
Your lord would observe, doubting you'd do anything like that. As he'd look into your pleading, innocent, tormented eyes, his spark would ache. Not that he expressed it. He'd rather perish than express his vulnerability for you
Then he'd look into Airachnid's eyes full of hope that he’d tear you into tiny pieces of young flesh as he’d get struck by her tiny, devilish grin
Airachnid: my lord. Your wish is my command. I can inflict indescribable pain on her if you let me. She deserves it.
Megatron: no. She does not.
Would be all he'd say before he'd walk to you and free you. You'd start desperately trying to explain yourself but he'd nonchalantly interrupt you:
Megatron: accidents happen. You shall proceed. Shockwave awaits your assistance back in the lab.
He'd give an order and wait for you to leave. Then he'd walk back to Airachnid who'd be in pure shock
Megatron: if you want to terminate her, lying to your leader would be the unwisest way to do it.
Airachnid: my liege-
Megatron: SILENCE! Do such thing again and you shall be the one torn to pieces by my own bare hands. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?
Airachnid: yes, my liege... *as she'd reluctantly bow*
Megatron: and stay away from her. She is far more useful than you are, Airachnid.
Naughty you would stay close to the door and listen. You'd giggle to yourself as you'd hear your master play favorites
Airachnid is not oblivious though. She noticed he cares for you which she'll use against him. She would already start making new plans on how to get rid of you, lord Megatron's pet.
💜
STARSCREAM
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He’d be in shock when he’d get a report from the vehicons that you’ve been attacked by Airachnid
He’d order his soldiers to show him where you are as he’d call for backup
When he’d find you wrapped in a cocoon upside down in a storage room, being threatened by Airachnid, he’d order her to stay down as he’d aim his rockets at her
Airachnid: oh please, Starscream. Like a couple of your cloned servants could stop me.
Starscream: you fool! Free her this instant or perish.
Airachnid: so it is true~ commander Starscream has a new pet human~
Starscream: I do not care for… a human! I am simply fulfilling my duty! We need her for the project!
Airachnid would hiss and threaten to slice your throat
Airachnid: and why would that stop me from getting rid of this infestation!
Starscream: Megatron will have your head! And so will I.
An evil smirk would grow on Screamer’s face plate as they’d charged their weapons at her. She’d reluctantly and angrily release you, making you painfully drop on the floor and yelp
Airacnid: until next time, rodent.
She’d say as she’d crawl her way out of the storage room, disappointed that her plan of getting rid of you had failed
Starscream would slice the cocoon open and free you as he’d emotionlessly tell you to get up.
You’d thank him as he’d walk you out and say:
Starscream: not a word to anyone about this, got it?
Totally into you but his dignity and ego can’t allow him to admit he fell in love with one from the species he hates the most
💜
KNOCKOUT
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Knockout: YOU WHAT!?
Airachnid: relax, Knockout~ No one will even notice she’s gone~ and we both know everyone dislikes her-
Knockout: I DON’T- I mean- WE DON’T! Lord Megatron needs her to complete this project! She became one of the key members of the lab, I-
Airachnid: indeed. Indeed she did. She’s taking your position. Soon, lord Megatron will replace you with her.
Her cunning aft would try to manipulate him
Knockout: the only one who can be replaced on this ship is you! You’re afraid of her. Now tell me where she is before I cut you into pieces!
He’d say as he’d get his saw out and aggressively rev it at her to which she wouldn’t even flinch, bluffing
Airachnid: calm down, doctor, it isn’t a big deal. Just a little game I like playing with her. And my my~ so it is true~ doctor does have his favorite assistant after all~
Knockout would groan and go look for your. He’d turn the whole ship upside down until he’d find you somewhere well hidden with tied limbs
He’s dramatically scream and free you carefully as he’d baby talk to you
Knockout: look what that wretched femme did to you! Nt nt nt… Don’t worry, little one, I won’t let that creepy spider lady get near you ever again, no no~ Doctor’s promise~
Y/N: don’t say that ever again-
Knockout: what I thought it’s cute-
As he’d carry you back to the lab and shower you with kisses
💜
BREAKDOWN
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She knows how much he cares for you and how easily distracted he gets which she’d cunningly use against him in battle
She’d capture you and make you hang upside down a thick tree branch the moment he’d attack her
Airachnid: are you sure you want to play this game again, Breakdown? Because we have a new contestant~
Breakdown would freeze as he’d see you desperately trying to scream with your mouth sealed
Airachnid: I think she wants to say hello to her precious boyfriend~
She’d say as she’d free your mouth and let you scream for Breakdown. But instead you’d encourage him:
Y/N: BEAT HER ASS, BREAKDOWN!!!
To which he’d frown and power up, get his hammer out and roar like an animal as he’d charge at her
You’d watch the epic boss battle and keep encouraging him until all of your blood would flow down to your head and make you feel unwell
Airachnid: hurry up, boyfriend~ You chose a very delicate being for your lover~ She will die if you don’t get her down in time~
Breakdown: YOU TALK TOO MUCH!
She tried distracting him more but instead she only made his anger grow. His helm boiled as he kept mercilessly hammering her
The moment he knocked her out and yeeted her somewhere, he rushed to get you down. He panicked a little but managed to rescue you on time
Breakdown: you’re the best life coach even when you’re dying~
He had to pull a cheesy joke
💜
DREADWING
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She’d pull the same trick on him like on Breakdown
She’d use you as his biggest weakness - fear of losing his closest ones just like he lost his brother…
Both of you would have your limbs tied as she’d make you face each other
Airachnid: now that we have the whole scene set~
Dreadwing: Airachnid, do not be a fool. You are playing with fire. Release her this instant!
Airachnid: or what!?
She’d say as she’d give you a big, deep scratch across the back and make you yelp
Dreadwing: NO!
Airachnid: watch her suffer.
In a blink of an eye she’d stab your torso by the side with one of her eight unsettlingly long legs and make you bleed badly
Dreadwing would scream as he’d desperately try to free himself. Filled with fury, he’d manage to rip the sticky substance that was tied around his wrists
Dreadwing: YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE ONLY THING THAT I CARE FOR IN MY LIFE!
He’d jump her and obliterate her, making her run away with deadly wounds
As he’d kneel next to your wounded body, he’d free you and gently pick you up and request an immediate ground bridge.
He’d watch your fragile, almost lifeless body curling in his servos…
Dreadwing: do not fear, my love. I shall take care of you. You will not leave this world. Not while I stand…
💜
SOUNDWAVE
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She thought she could just snatch you from the lab while you were alone and get rid of you that easily
She forgot Soundwave, that has developed strong feelings for you, is the eyes and ears of the ship
He’d cut her off in one of the hallways and have a stare down
You’d scream for help
Airachnid: silence! And stand down, Soundwave. Her playtime with big robots has officially come to an end.
He’d launch his tentacles at her and try to zap her which she’d avoid while running towards him
He would maneuver wisely and swiftly while trying to snatch you from her servos
You’d get slightly injured due to their “doll snatching” game
The moment he’d managed to get his servos on you, he’d create a ground bridge right underneath her
As she was about to fall into it, he’d grab one of her creepy legs and speak:
Soundwave: Soundwave superior. Airachnid inferior.
Before he’d let her fall into the portal and teleport somewhere, precisely above the ocean
Y/N: you… you can speak?
To which he’d just look at you and put his index finger across the lower part of his face plate, gesturing this shall stay a secret
💜
SHOCKWAVE
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Shockwave: I find your behavior… illogical.
He’d say in his usual monotone voice, trying to calm the situation down as he’d catch her wanting to preform torturing experiments on you in the lab
Airachnid: don’t be naive, Shockwave~ You and I both know she’s nothing but an infestation on this ship!
Shockwave: that statement is illogical as well, Airachnid. She is my assistant.
Airachnid: oh curse your assistant!
Y/N: Shockwave! Please!
The moment he’d hear his secret lover plead, he’d charge his blaster at her
Shockwave: do not test me, Airachnid. You clearly are not aware of my abilities.
He’d say as he’d start slowly approaching the berth she held you captive on
Airachnid: oh no, dearest Shockwave. Clearly it is you who isn’t aware of our common enemies!
And there comes another epic boss fight. To your surprise it was quite short
Shockwave broke two of her spider legs with ease as he’d throw her around the lab
He did completely or mildly damage some of his equipment but at that point he couldn’t care less. All he cared about is your well being
Shockwave: take advantage of this situation and leave with dignity before I call reinforcements and inform Megatron of your disgraceful act.
Sometimes words can hurt more than actions. She hissed at him and crawled out of the lab
He released you and earned heartwarming gratitude from you
Shockwave: I have always found her way of perception… illogical.
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Dividers belong to @kiwicidios , @firefly-graphics and @kimjiho1 💜
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doctorsilverhead · 4 months
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Heal Me! (Bayverse Optimus X Human Reader) Headcanons!
To set the mood: Trailer
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At first, Optimus was hesitant and did not trust you, either because you were a complete stranger or because he had been betrayed many times before. However, as time passed and you and the Autobots became closer and worked together, you became great friends with both the Autobots and Optimus.
You would always leave Optimus being inspired by your acts and words. He would show a lot of respect for you.
Whenever Optimus or the other Autobots were harmed, no matter how slight or severe, you would become extremely anxious, and Optimus would find it adorable.
Optimus really wouldn't get any time to talk to you, either because of him being busy or you being busy but when he does, that is during midnight, you both would engage in a rather in conversation talking about your private lives or past. Him sipping his energon and you sipping your coffee would talk for hours and even cry on each other's shoulder.
He loves it when you touch him during your regular check-ups. He fantasises about you caressing him out of affection.
He would even go so far as to fake his injuries or intentionally injure himself in order to meet you or be touched by your small fragile hands.
Poor Optimus cries on his knees every night, because he knows you would not love him in the same way he does or at least he thought you wouldn't. :)
It would be difficult for him to resist the want to simply hold you securely close to his spark, kiss you, or touch you and have his way with you. But he would fight them while remaining in control of himself.
Everyone knew Optimus was in love with you since his entire attitude changed around you,from being a prime, a protector, the great leader of the Autobots to a soft,shy and nervous robot. 
Despite everyone telling him to express his feelings to you, he would hide them inside himself and never say or admit anything to you. He was too afraid of what the consequences would be.
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emelinstriker · 6 months
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May you share your TFP Decepticon headcanons 👁️👁️
If you want specifics, then their domestic lives? (Or what one can achieve akin to a domestic life in time of war 💀)
I did NOT expect to see any ask regarding TFP- Or at least till I switch fandoms again- So like I can't really think of many X Reader headcanons right now. So I just wrote down like 3 for each. I'm also not quite sure how to condense domestic points, cuz I suck at general fluff when my hyperfixation is elsewhere- So sorry if these don't feel like they're really in the domestic direction fhgnfhg
Only doing some Decepticons though-
☆ ~ Headcanons ~ ☆
☆ Megatron
He do be a busy mech, so he doesn't have too much time on his servos. Therefore he cherishes it whenever he gets to have private moments with just his human and no interruptions.
Likes to carry you around on his shoulder pad- It just generally makes it safer for you, in his opinion, and more comforting for him.
Any that would merely look at you weirdly would face the wrath of Lord Megatron. You can tell him not to punish the other Cybertronian though. He does listen... sometimes.
☆ Starscream
Mans refusing to show affection towards you around other Decepticons, especially Megatron. But he's just melting around you when in private.
He prefers recharging with you lying on him. It's oddly soothing having his human on his chassis.
Tends to look for you as comfort whenever he had a bad day with Megatron.
☆ Soundwave
Despite the amount of work he does and how busy he is, he doesn't really fail at also paying attention to you. He's truly a multi-tasker.
Would let Laserbeak play with you though if his extra appendages and music can't keep you busy.
Very loving towards his human. He may not talk, but he uses emoticons on his visor to display how much he loves you.
☆ Shockwave
Just don't play with whatever materials he needs to conduct his experiments and you're good to go. Play with his antennae and ear fins while on his shoulder pad instead.
He gets easily distracted by his human. He knows it's illogical with the major size difference, and how he should just be able to ignore you. But he can't help it nor explain this phenomenon.
He also also can't explain why he has this urge to gently pat you with a digit.
☆ Knockout
While he does buff himself on his own, or has Breakdown help him, he does enjoy it when you're buffing him instead as well. Especially when he's in his alt mode.
Speaking of which, expect drive-in theater dates. Just don't get his interior dirty with snack crumbs.
Worries a lot about your health. If you're sick, he'll keep you close to him to make sure you're actually alright. But no kisses from him till you're no longer coughing and sneezing. He just buffed himself and doesn't need your sickly fluids on his frame.
☆ Predaking
Tends to pick up you up whenever he wants attention. You were talking to Steve? Nah, now you gotta give you giant mecha dragon pets and kisses.
He also enjoys carrying you around on his frame whenever he can. At least he won't have to look where he goes this way.
While he has to go on missions from time to time, it's not a common thing due to his value, so a lot of his time is spent protectively watching over his human.
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yandere-wishes · 5 months
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When you're studying robotics and you feel burned out and depressed... but you're also a HUGE transformers fan
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michaela-o · 6 months
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oh..i tried😭🙏
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Hillowhillow may I make a request? How about relationship headcanons for MTMTE Megatron with a s/o who is taller than him? Many thanks and take your time!
((As a Tall Girl™ this speaks to me.))
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Being Megatron's EVEN TALLER sparkmate would include...
- To say you intimidate people when they first meet you would be an understatement - after all, not only are you usually looking down at them, but your significant other is one of the most infamous (former) warlords to ever walk the face of Cybertron. Surely, you must also be tough as nails, right?
- You're actually a pretty nice, chill person once someone gets to know you - Megatron admires that about you. You don't let people's quick judgements stop you from being kind, something he is working on within himself. Your personable demeanor balances him.
- This inevitably means you end up being more liked than Megatron aboard the Lost Light... but the first time someone makes a comment about how such a jerk could have such a nice sparkmate, everyone present sees that you are just as capable as Megatron of putting your foot down and speaking your mind, regardless of what others think. If some bot isn't willing to let Megatron have his second chance, you two are not going to get along, period.
- But what ends up surprising people more than how soft YOU are is how soft Megatron can be around you. Primus, it's almost creepy how much his gaze softens when he looks at you. Who is this bot and what did you do to Megs?
- And that's just the public sappiness - half of the Lost Light would probably short circuit if they knew just how often you found love poems you found left on a datapad in your habsuite. 
- (Magnus apparently knows about this, because someone had to beta read the things, but of course he never lets it slip.)
- Megatron writes about you like the softest, most delicate thing.... even though you might be able to judo throw him over your shoulder at all. A few of the poems hint that probably into into that actually.
453 notes · View notes
fiber-optic-alligator · 4 months
Note
Requesting IDW Megatron x Lost Light human liaison reader. Based on the song "Heaven's Light" from Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Thanks for the request! Sorry for such a long delay! I spent a lot of time writing and rewriting this because I wanted to get it right. I went with Autobot Megatron for this one. I hope that is okay with you! Feedback is always appreciated! :D
Heaven's Light
Pairing: IDW Megatron x Human Liaison Reader
Word Count: 3588
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Summary: Though he is now a hardworking Autobot aboard the Lost Light who's just trying to make up for the sins he's committed in his past, Megatron still believes he is a monster who is unworthy of ever being loved. That all changes when you, a little human liaison from Earth, makes your way into his life and implores him to reluctantly open his spark.
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Megatron knows he is a monster.
  He has done horrible things. He has killed, he has tortured, he has maimed. His recharge cycles are plagued with the echoes of screams and the fallen frames of mangled bodies. He stands atop a pile of them. When he looks at his servos, they are drenched in wasted energon that isn’t his own. Nightmares, Rune calls them. Terrible warped memories of his past. He cannot escape them. The guilt will stain him forever.
  Megatron is aware that most of the Lost Light’s crew is afraid of him. With the exceptions of others like the captain, most steer clear of his way. When they see him thumping down a hallway with steps that seem to shake the entire ship, they scurry like glitch mice when a cyber cat is near. They speak to him with tremors in their voices and rattling in their joints.
  Not that he makes things easy for them, he admits. Megatron is aloof, calculating, and antisocial. His violent tendencies have devolved into simple growls and annoyed huffs. He’s not here to make friends. He’s here to do a job: atone for the sins he has committed.
  And yet, the nightmares remain. They do not leave no matter what he does.
  Megatron is not a gentle being. He knows he is rough around the edges, and that scares people. So when he hears the announcement about a human boarding the Lost Light, his first instinct is to avoid them at all costs. It does not matter if they are a liaison. Humans are fragile and too easy to break. And he hardly believes Earth wants their delegate to be interacting with the former Decepticon warlord who has slaughtered thousands.
  Unfortunately, his dimwitted captain has different plans.
  “No.” Megatron crosses his arms and lifts his chin defiantly. “Absolutely not.”
  “Oh, come on.” Rodimus throws his helm back with an exasperated groan. “You're the perfect bot for the job! Why can’t you just say yes?”
  “I did not board this ship to inevitably become a human babysitter.” Megatron’s words come out harsh and unyielding. “The answer is no, Rodimus. Get someone else to do it.”
  “I agree,” Drift says. “In no way can I see this resulting in a positive outcome. Um…no offense Megatron.”
  Megatron snorts. “None taken.”
  “You two don’t understand.” Rodimus rubs his forehelm in faux exhaustion. “The human is here to learn about Cybertronian history and culture. Who else knows more about that sort of stuff than you?”
  Megatron bares his teeth. “Are you calling me old?”
  “I’m calling you knowledgeable,” Rodimus shoots back. “You can tell the human so much about us, more than Drift or I could combined.”
  “That is not my area of profession. Get Rewind to do it.”
  “No,” Rodimus objects. “I want you to do it.”
  “Rewind would be a much better option if we want this human to successfully integrate into the ship’s social life,” Drift advises.
  Rodimus punches the other mech squarely in the shoulder plating. Drift yelps and jumps back. “Ow! What was that for?”
  “Are you on my side with this or not?” Rodimus snaps.
  “I’m on the side of wanting the human to like us, and I don’t believe pairing them with Megatron is the best way to achieve that! Again, no offense to Megatron, but we need to make a good impression.” Drift straightens and rubs his shoulder, wincing. “We have to think about this clearly, Rodimus.”
  “I am thinking clearly. I am the most clear-thinking mech in this room. I have never been thinking clearer, and I don’t think I ever will.” He points at Megatron. “You are going to be this human’s companion for the next six cyber-weeks they are here. You will educate them on our ways, teach them our history, and convince them that we are awesome and amazing and incredible. Understand? Come on, remember their little human motto! ‘Salvation through understanding, understanding brings in the light!’ There’s no way you can say no to that!”
  Megatron feels indignation churn within his tank. That indignation turns into something dangerous, something he has not been able to snuff out of himself completely since he’s turned over a new leaf. That something is hostility borne from the frustration of being told to do something he doesn’t want to do. He snarls, but Rodimus does not cower. The red-and-orange mech’s plating bristles and clacks together in an act of instinctual dominance. The two leaders stare each other down in a silent battle. It takes Drift being the middle-man to relieve some of the tension crackling between them. “Alright, enough! Both of you stop right now! The human is going to be here at any moment, and you want their first impression of you two to be this? Calm down and get a hold of yourselves!”
  Megatron scoffs. Without looking at either of them, he shoulders past Drift towards the door. “I will do as you say, Rodimus,” he rumbles. “But don’t you think I will enjoy a second of it. You are making a mistake.”
  He hears Drift whisper “This is a bad idea” to the captain. Megatron stomps off, ignoring how every mech around him presses themselves against the walls to avoid his path. They should have chosen Rewind.
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  You are…not what Megatron was expecting.
  You arrive on the ship with a swagger in your step and not an ounce of nervousness within you. Your eyes are wide with awe and your little dermas are split in a wide open smile as you turn in a circle to take everything in. There’s something distinctly adorable about the way you shift the weight of your stuffed backpack from one shoulder to the other and drag a tiny little suitcase behind you that makes the softer side of Megatron want to say “Awwww.” Apparently he isn’t the only one either; Rodimus is smiling like an idiot, his servos fidgeting like he wants to scoop you up and coo at you dotingly.
  Drift elbows him. He snaps to attention and announces himself grandly, which makes Megatron want to cringe. “Liaison Y/N! So good to finally meet you in person! Welcome to the Lost Light!” He kneels and extends his servo with surprising mindfulness. “I am Rodimus Prime, captain of this ship.”
  Your smile widens when you hold the tip of his index digit between both of your little fleshy servos and shake it. “I am honored to be here, captain.”
  “The honor is all ours. And please, just call me Rodimus. You're one of us now. There’s no need for formalities.” Rodimus rises and gestures to Drift. The red-and-white mech steps forward and dips his head while he is introduced. “This is Drift, my third-in-command. And this is Megatron, my…co-captain.”
  Megatron keeps his expression neutral when he steps forward to loom over you like a mountain. You have to crane your neck back in order to take all of him in. Here we go, he thinks. Any moment now, you’ll recognize his name. You’ll retreat to a safe distance. Maybe even start screaming in fear. He shouldn’t be surprised. After all, he is Megatron, feared former leader of the Decepticons, one of the most ruthless and terrifying beings in the-
  Your smile does not waver and your attitude remains just as bright. “Megatron. It’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Y/N.”
  It takes a moment for him to register your words. Wait, what?
  Rodimus coughs and eyeballs him critically. “Oh.” Megatron blinks. “Um. Yes. Hello. It’s wonderful to, uh, meet you too.”
  Drift snickers. He wants to punch him.
  “I apologize for his flustered state.” Rodimus laughs nervously. “We’re all just very excited to have you on board. This is the first time much of the crew will be meeting a human, so I hope you’ll understand that some of us might not know how to interact with you.”
  “It’s no problem,” you say. “I get it. But that’s why I’m here! So if you are curious about me, then I encourage it.”
  Rodimus relaxes, looking relieved. “Yes, of course! We’re connecting two worlds! It’s absolutely incredible.”
  “If anyone makes you actively uncomfortable though, please let one of us know,” Drift adds. “We understand that there is a clear power imbalance between you and all of us. It’s important that you feel safe here.”
  “Well, that’s why Megs is going to be your partner during your time here!” Rodimus grabs Megatron’s shoulder and shakes him. It takes all of his strength not to growl. “You're here because you want to know more about us, right? Well, my co-captain is extremely knowledgeable in all things Cybertronian. He’ll do his best to answer any and all questions you might have!”
  You show no trepidation over this. In fact, your eagerness only seems to grow. Megatron is honestly stunned. “Oh, absolutely, I’d love that! As long as it’s okay with you?” You look back at him inquiringly.
  He starts to object, but Rodimus slams his servo over his intake. “He’s totally okay with it! He volunteered, after all! And he’ll start with showing you to your habsuite with Drift, so you can take all the time you need to settle in!”
  Your concerns are soothed. Taking up your suitcase, you follow Drift and leave the docking bay, with the other mech walking at a turtle’s pace in order to stay in tandem with you. Megatron rips Rodimus’s servo away from his intake. “You,” he hisses, “are the bane of my very existence.”
  Rodimus shrugs. “I can live with that title. But seriously, I’m doing you a favor right now. Enough with the brooding miserableness and more with the reinventing yourself. I’m trying to help you feel more at ease here. If you start with the human, you may find yourself actually being gentle.”
  He snarls, and for the first time in a long while wonders if he can get away with killing one last Autobot. But when he looks at you and sees the way you smile up at Drift with so much young excitement…something in him softens.
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  “So, I was told you know a lot about Cybertronian culture,” you say to him. Drift is long gone, and your habsuite is set up to house all of your accommodations. You sit back on the miniature berth covered with blankets and pillows, thin legs swinging idly while you regard him with a curious look. He glances at you fleetingly, then returns his gaze to the data pad he’s holding.
  “That I do,” he answers.
  “Mind telling me some stuff?”
  Your question is blunt and to the point. There’s no hesitation. You don’t look the least bit afraid. For a moment, Megatron wonders if you even know who he is. You just seem so…clueless. Did your human superiors really give you no sort of debriefing on who you would be dealing with here before you left?
  “What do you want to know?” he asks reluctantly.
  “I want to know about turbo foxes,” you reply.
  He stares at you. Then he bursts into raucous laughter that causes his entire frame to shake. You throw your hands up in feigned exasperation, grinning like an idiot. “What? What did I say?”
  “You said nothing wrong, little one.” He manages to calm himself down, shaking his head while still chuckling. “I just…I was expecting you to ask about the war.”
  “Why would I ask you about that?”
  “Because that is what everyone wants to know about. The war is essentially a defining factor of our history and culture. Our image cannot exist without it.”
  You shrug. “I can learn about the war from anyone. I already have. But turbo foxes? I’ve only read a single paragraph about those. They sound so cute! You have to tell me more.”
  “Wait.” He pauses, confused. “You…you’ve learned about the war?”
  “Of course I have,” you reply. “Like you said, it’s part of your history and culture. Who hasn’t at this point?”
  “So…you know who I am. Megatron. Me. You’ve learned about me.”
  “Yes?” You tilt your head. “I don’t know what this has to do about turbo foxes.”
  “No, it-it has nothing to do with them. I just-” He sighs, rubbing his optics in a tired way. “I just don’t understand why you haven’t acknowledged the fact that you know me. You know what I’ve done. You know what I’m capable of continuing to do.”
  “I haven’t acknowledged it because it’s not worth acknowledging.”
  “That is absurd. Of course it is worth acknowledging. I am Megatron. I’m the former leader of one of the most feared armies known throughout the universe.”
  “Former leader,” you say.
  “That-” He sputters. He isn’t sure where you are going with this; you’ve thrown him for a loop. “That has nothing to do with the current situation.”
  “Yes it does.” You stand up. “You used to be the leader of the Decepticons. You’ve killed, you’ve destroyed. But you don’t do that anymore. So now here we are.”
  “You are okay with completely looking past everything I have done? You're just going to…ignore it?”
  “No.” You take slow steps towards him. “I’m not. I’ve done my research on you. I understand that you’ve done terrible things. But I also know that you're trying to make up for all of that. You're good now. Being here, helping me…I know you're trying to be better. I appreciate that.” You hold up your hands. He understands, yet hesitates to fulfill your wish. You have to encourage him. “Come on, it’s okay. You won’t hurt me.”
  He bends down and extends his servo. “How can you be so sure?”
  You hold his index digit and bring the tip to your cheek, allowing him to caress the soft organic skin of your face. You are so small, so delicate, so carefully made. Megatron isn’t caught up on the stories about the gods of your world, yet he knows-he can feel it-that whatever being made you put so much care and love into their work, he is sure their power rivals Primus himself. His walls crumble. He wants to hold you forever.
  “I’m sure because I trust you,” you say. “And when you earn the trust of someone you can so easily hurt…you know you are good.”
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  Six weeks later…
Swerve’s bar is filled with life. Megatron hears it all the way from the deserted hallway he sits in. The laughter, cheers, and songs echo like the hauntings of spirits. Yet, he feels no urge to join in. The bench he sits on is as cold as space. He’s sure he can feel the chilling void through the large observation window he’s in front of right now.
  The soft pitter patter of human feet turns his attention away from the window. He sees you heading towards him with cheeks flushed red and a stupid smile. His olfactory sensors pick up on the faint scent of alcohol sticking to your skin when you make it over to him.
  “Are you drunk?” he asks.
  “A little,” you reply. A soft pat to his pede signals what you want. He gives it to you, scooping you up into a gentle hold and placing you on his right tibulen. You lean against him with a soft exhale. “Why didn’t you come join us?”
  He lifts his gaze to the window. “I’m not a big drinker.”
  “Oh. Well, that’s okay. Neither am I.”
  The warmth of your little body is comforting. It makes him want to focus on you. Yet, he can’t manage to do so. It’s such a foolish situation; him, of all mechs, so infatuated with this little human, he can barely look at them.
  But it goes beyond that. He knows it does. So do you. Six weeks are nearly over. Your time here will soon be done.
  He doesn’t know how to handle that anymore.
  “Why did you leave Swerve’s?” he chooses to ask you, because if he brings up the topic of you leaving, he thinks he’s going to lose control of his emotions.
  “I wanted to be with you.”
  He snorts. “I hardly think a party being thrown in your honor is worth leaving in exchange for spending time with some old bot.”
  “Oh, please. You aren’t just some old bot to me. I like being around you. Is that so hard to believe?”
  He smiles humorously. “You might be the only one on this ship who does.”
  You don’t respond, and Megatron fears he might have offended you in some way. When he looks at you, he sees your shoulders slump and your head hang like you are mourning the dead.
  “I’m leaving soon,” you murmur.
  “...I know.”
  “I asked my superior if I could stay.” You draw your knees to your chest and hug them. “I begged him. Another week. Hell, another day. But he wouldn’t give in. Fucking asshole…he knows I’ve gotten attached.”
  “Getting attached was the point of you coming here.”
  “I know. But…not like this.” An invisible chord tightens around your little body. He can tell your composure is crumbling. “This…wasn’t something I was trained for.”
  His spark aches painfully. If he were younger, he’d do something rash; threatening your superior would have been his first course of action. If that didn’t work, he’d steal you away and whisk you off to the far reaches of space, away from Earth, away from anything or anyone who might prevent the two of you from being together.
  But he’s not his younger self. He’s old. He’s tired. So he simply heaves a sigh and lifts his optics to the stars. “You know…so many times out there, I’ve watched a happy pair of lovers walking in the night.”
  You lift your head and look at him. There are tears in your eyes. Megatron rumbles out a deep purr and reaches for you, gently maneuvering you into his servos and lifting you up to his faceplate. You lean forward and place a tiny hand on his nose.
  “What were they like?” you ask quietly.
  “They had a kind of glow to them,” he responds with a sense of wistfulness. “It almost looked like…Heaven’s light.”
  That makes you giggle. “How the hell do you know what Heaven is?”
  “Lets just say I’ve done my research,” he answers with a smile.
  You lightly tap his nose with your fist. “Sap.” Your expression falls into a contemplative frown. “What were you thinking when you saw them? The lovers? Were you jealous?”
  “Well…not exactly. Jealousy isn’t the right word to describe it. But…I envied them. I wanted to be like them. But I knew I’d never know that warm and loving glow, though I might wish with all my might.” He closes his optics, steadying his breaths. He doesn’t want to cry, not in front of you. “No face as hideous as my face…was ever meant for Heaven’s light.”
  You open your mouth to retort, not at all willing to listen to him put himself down. That’s one of the things he loves about you. No matter who it is, you will always step in to make someone feel better. It’s a quality many Cybertronians are lacking, yet it abounds in humans plentifully.
  He had been wrong about your kind, back when he was still the leader of the Decepticons. You are so much more beautiful than you realize.
  Megatron cuts you off gently with a low puff of air into your face from his nose. You sputter and stumble back, and he laughs. His thumb comes up to stroke your hair, then travels down to trace the outline of your jaw. You still, eyes widening when you see the lovesick look he’s giving you. “But suddenly an angel has smiled at me…you, little one. Come on, smile.”
  There’s no sharp-witted reply from you to make him chuckle. You just obey him and smile. His spark skips a beat and he feels like he is going to melt right then and there. “You are the only one to smile at me in this way,” he whispers. “And you…you’ve touched my face without a trace of fright.”
  “I could never be afraid of you,” you say. You press yourself against his nose, hugging him in the best way you can. He feels you trembling. “I’ve dreamt of this. I’ve dreamt of you. I still dream. I dare to dream that you might even care for me…”
  Megatron leans into your touch. “My cold dark tower seems so bright…I swear it must be Heaven’s light.”
  There is silence between you for some time. The noise from Swerve’s bar has faded away. You sniffle and don’t pull away. “Stay with me,” you beg.
  “You know I can’t,” he says. “Not forever.”
  “Then just for tonight. For as long as we have left. Stay with me, please. I don’t want to let you go. I love you.”
  “You don’t have to.” He hugs you with his free servo. “Not right now. I’m here. I love you too. You are the only one I will ever love. My Heaven’s light.”
  “Salvation through understanding,” you sob, tears streaming down your cheeks. Yet, you are smiling. It’s a grateful smile. A smile that tells him you are so, so lucky to have ever met him at all.
  His optics well up. He lets the walls break. “Understanding brings in the light.”
  Megatron knows he is a monster.
  But after meeting you…he knows he’s a monster who’s worthy of receiving love.
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tinydefector · 2 months
Text
Human's effects
More a silly little thing that I had to write out.
Warnings: talks about sex, xenophilia, kinks
Word count: 3k
Request are open
____
There were a lot of things that fascinated the cybertronians over humans. Their size, body types, skin tones and those soft they are. 
So many of them become so fascinated over the fact that such small and fragile creatures don't have plating to protect themselves but only wear soft fabrics. 
And it slowly leads a lot of Cybertronians to realising they were Xenophiles. 
A list of kinks and fetishes cybertronians discovered from it. 
-size kink 
-skin fetish 
- hair pulling 
- silk and ribbon play
- cum inflation 
-breeding
-pet play
- vore
-fluid play and consumption 
- spiking warming
- Heart and spark syncing 
- new spike and Valve modifications to test on their human lover
There's originally a lot of unknowns about humans, and cybertronians are rather intrigued, for one the first times the a lot of the crew of lost light had encountered them was on black market and high priced pets, and companions. 
There were exceptions such as Perceptor, Ratchet and Megatron who had been around humans before but for a lot of the bots this was their first time seeing them. that is until they are assigned a human communications, relations Ambassador/ liaison. 
But after the black market incident it had led a lot of bots into research over humans. And it just spirals more with them discovering some rather dark history with cybertronians keeping humans as playthings. And finding out their ‘interface equipment’ isn't that different from their own, just more organic and smaller.  
A late night of drinking at swerve slowly devolved into conversation over their local human. Brainstorm sits nursing his drink of engex while he and others of the ship chat away. "So does it fascinate anyone else over the fact that humans don't have natural plating or any kind of protection for their squishy form?" He brings up, he himself had fallen down the rabbit hole of human porn but didn't quite know how to breach the subject with anyone else. 
"Oh Primus, look who decided to join us, thought you were holding up with your Conjunx Chrome!" Swerve said with a chuckle, placing more drinks down. He hopped up onto one of the bar stools and leaned in eagerly, His attention flicks to Brainstorm. "You bring up a good point, Brainstorm," Swerve replied.
 "Those squishy humans are really something else, ain't they? No armour, no defences - I'd be scared outta my circuits if I was just soft protoform all the time!, like i’m so surprised squishy hasn't been stepped on yet" 
Rodimus nodded in agreement. "Yet they've managed to survive just fine so far. There's obviously more to them than meets the eye. Like i've seen some of the things our ambassador can do like the strange stretching"
"I dunno," Skids chimed in. "Seems pretty fraggin' reckless if you ask me. One good shot and it lights out!" 
Rewind shuddered. "Ugh, don't remind me. Just thinking about all those organics and tubes and who knows what else squishing around in there makes my fuel tank turn." He made a dramatic churning sound effect.
Riptide laughed. "I saw a nature documentary once about these hairless ape creatures the humans evolved from. Now THOSE guys were squishy."
“What in Primus have you been watching?!” 
“some old earth docs that Percy’s has, bots got a lot of info on Terra and the planet's history” The bots shared a collective laugh at the image. Swerve took a swig of his energon. "Frag, maybe there's something to be said about living on the edge like that! Sure keeps things interesting, its still strange that they are somehow one of the top predators of their planet yet are smaller than half the things they eat"
Brainstorm goes quiet for a moment. "Have you seen how flexible they are?"
Swerve nearly spit out his energon. "Whoa hey, I don't need those kinds of vivid imagery floatin' around my processor thank you very much!, keep the squishy interface vids to yourself" he said, waving his hands animatedly. 
"You have to admit, the way those fleshbags can contort themselves is pretty impressive," Skids added. "Must come in handy for.. maintenance." He waggled his optical ridges suggestively.
Brainstorm nodded pensively. "Indeed. Their non-metal structure allows for feats we could never replicate by ourselves." He took a sip of his energon. "Always makes me curious what other evolutionary adaptations they've developed to compensate for such vulnerability. The potential for scientific discovery is endlessly fascinating with their species and ancestors."
Riptide shrugged. "As long as they don't expect ME to try any of their bone-breaking yoga moves," he laughed. "This chassis is meant for tough stuff, not Twister!"
"You think they would be soft, you know if you interface with one?" Brainstorm asked while downing his drink, the engex was slowly going to his processor loosening his lips. 
"Oh don't give me that look I know for a fact you all have thought about doing with a human at least once! Rodimus I know for a fact you eye them up everytime our little liaison walks past you" He calls out Rodimus. 
Rodimus nearly choked on his energon in an attempt to look innocent. "Wh-what? That's not - I never -" he sputtered in protest, flustered optics darting around at the other bots.
Brainstorm smirked as Rodimus squirmed uncomfortably on the stool. "Oh please, don't try to deny it, Captain. You're about as subtle as a combiner in a supply closet." 
"Roddy's got the hots for squishy, who knew!" Swerve giggled uncontrollably. 
Skids nudged Riptide playfully. "Hey, maybe we got a xenophiliac on the ship!" 
"Alright alright, knock it off you glitches," Rodimus growled, though the blue flush across his face said otherwise. "I was just... curious, that's all. They ARE a strange species."
Swerve tried to contain his laughter. "Ohhh I bet you are more than curious, if you catch my drift!, wanna get up close and personal" More raucous peals of laughter from the group.
Brainstorm stroked his chin in thought. "They do feel intriguingly delicate. I wonder if their flexible frames would be more pleasurable to interface with than our own rigid forms..."
"Have you seen videos of them, they stretch a lot, like a lot, like I know human skin is resilient but i didn't think they were that resilient " Brainstorm states remembering some of the videos he had seen online. Other bots peak up intrigued. 
Swerve choked again as his fuel tank nearly turned inside out. "Brainstorm! That's... more than I needed to visualise, thank you very much." 
Skids seemed a bit less phased. "Fleshbags gettin' their twist on, huh? Can't say I'm not curious now." 
Even Rodimus seemed intrigued despite his earlier protests. "Resilient is an   understatement. I've seen some of the contortions that humans can do - it's astounding that their protoforms don't tear apart." 
Brainstorm nodded enthusiastically. "Precisely! With the right lubrication and technique, I hypothesise an interface with a limber human form would provide entirely novel sensory data."
Riptide shifted uncomfortably. "Not sure I'm ready to dive into the fleshy deep end just yet.”  
Swerve shot him a sly grin. "Aw c'mon Rip, live a little! Where's your sense of adventure?" 
Rodimus tried to steer the subject elsewhere. "Let's maybe change topics before someone needs a wipe down. Or Primus forbid, Magnus overhears you lot"
"I hope I did not hear what my processor just heard" Ultra Magnus states while staring down at the group of drinking mechs. A Lot of bots in the bar snicker at the group getting in trouble. 
"Come on Sir, get that wrench out of you aft, join us!" Skids called out.
Swerve let out an audible squeak at Ultra Magnus's stern tone, almost dropping his engex in panic. "U-Um, Magnus sir! Fancy seeing you here. We were just, uh, discussing..." 
He shot desperate optics at the others for help, but they all seemed to shrink down in their seats under Magnus's disapproving glare. 
Rodimus flashed an uneasy grin. "Just having a friendly debate about alien species, you know how it is. Brainstorm was bringing up some, er, interesting biological points..." 
Ultra Magnus sighed wearily. "I'd rather not know the details, thank you. Some topics are best left undiscussed in public."
The whole bar erupted into laughter at the group's misfortune. "Ah lay off em Magnus!" one patron called out. "They're just havin' fun!"
Another bot piped up. "Yeah, loosen up that rusty chassis and join us! One drink won't hurt." 
Magnus scowled, unamused. But as the encouragement grew louder, he glanced around hesitantly...
Swerve spotted an opening. "C'mon Magnus, live a little! I'll even give you a two-for-one special." He flashed a hopeful grin.
The enforcer grumbled but his resolve was cracking. Against his better judgement, he pulled up a stool. "One drink." Swerve whooped and poured him a double.
They cheer as Magnus sits down to drink with them. Skids speak up. "So brainstorm you saying you'd hook up with a fleshy, get nice and personal with a human" he calls out with a laugh.
Brainstorm leaned forward eagerly. "Why of course! The pursuit of scientific knowledge knows no boundaries. Though upon further review, direct interfacing with an organic might require certain, ah, safety protocols." 
Skids peered at him suspiciously. "Exactly what kind of 'research' are you plannin' on doing Brainy?"
Swerve nudged Riptide with a smirk. "I'll bet ya 20 shanix Brainstorm's just trying to find an excuse to get jiggy with the humies!"
Riptide snorted. "No way, I ain't takin' THAT bet!" 
Rodimus dropped his face in his palms with a groan. "can we PLEASE stop picturing Brainstorm fragging humans?" 
Ultra Magnus coughed on his engex, catching the comment he'd really rather not have heard. 
But Brainstorm paid them no mind, lost in scientific contemplation. "The human capacity for sensory input and feedback would provide a rich study on cross-species interface protocol adaptability..."
"INTERFACE PROTOCOLS?!" Swerve shrieked. The table erupted into howls of laughter at Magnus's deeply uncomfortable expression. It was going to be a LONG night indeed.
“Primus Brainstorm you kinky fragger” 
"Fine then everyone servo up if your not at least somewhat curious or thought about it at least once" Brainstorm calls out to all of Swerve's bars patrons
"Oooh, Brainstorm's putting us all on the spot!" Swerve giggled with gleeful mischief. He raised his servo without hesitation. 
Skids was quick to follow suit, slamming his half-empty glass down. "Frag it, I'll admit it! Those soft squishy bodies got me wonderin' what else they're good for." 
To everyone's surprise, Rodimus sheepishly lifted a servo as well, avoiding optic contact with Ultra Magnus. Riptide shrugged and joined in the show of servos, if only to blend in. 
The majority of bots in the bar started raising their hands amid roars of laughter and drunken encouragement. Only a select few hesitated, shooting nervous glances at Magnus. 
The enforcement officer's expression cycled through outrage, resignation and back to outrage as his gaze swept over the forest of raised servos. "I cannot condone such deviant interest in alien biologies," he protested, voice stiff. 
But as more servos stayed stubbornly aloft, Magnus sagged with a weary sigh. After a long moment, he slowly, begrudgingly raised one massive hand as well. 
The bar erupted into ear-splitting cheers. Swerve howled with glee, banging his fists on the counter. "Look's like we've all got a bit of xenophile in us after all! Even you, Magnus my mech!" 
Magnus buried his faceplate in his servos as Brainstorm cackled maniacally. Once the bar settles back down its Swerve who speaks up with a smirk on his faceplate. "So... which one of you charming mechs are gonna be the first to try and get our lovely Liaison?" He teases. 
Rodimus sputtered into his drink at Swerve's question, flushing brighter. "W-what? I never said anything about actually doing anything!, it's all just fantasies Swerve!" he protested in a hissed tone. 
Skids rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well they do have a cute lil' figure. Bet they'd be a wild ride..." 
Swerve grinned slyly at Rodimus. "Aw c'mon Captain, don't tell me you ain't thought about it at least once! I bet they'd be real fun to break in, get all soft and pliable..." 
Rodimus smacked Swerve upside the helm. "Knock it off!" He shot a pleading glance at Ultra Magnus as if begging for rescue.
But unexpectedly, Brainstorm was the one who spoke up. "While the organic's flexibility is intriguing, directly interfacing could introduce unknown health risks or cultural taboos. Outside the fact our people have kept humans as pets and companions in the past. A more ethical approach would be gaining consent for strictly observational research."  
Riptide frowned. "Not sure the liaison would go for that either Storm" 
Swerve sighed dreamily. "Just imagine wrapping those soft squishy bits all around you though... bet they'd feel amazing..."  
"SWERVE." Magnus's warning tone silenced the cheeky bartender immediately. He turned back to Rodimus with a sigh. "Despite certain... Curiosities, directly engaging an organics  such a manner would be unwise, dangerous even, not to mention our form are much larger and could harm a human."
Rewind nodded gratefully at Magnus, relieved the subject was shifting. But the mischievous glint in Swerve's optic suggested his teasing wasn't over yet. It was going to be a long night indeed.
"Relax Mags I'm just riling these drunk mech up. Unless you're interested in our sweet little ambassador" he teases, making other bots choke on their drinks. 
Ultra Magnus's icy glare could have frozen Swerve's energon. "Need I remind you this conversation is highly inappropriate and unprofessional," he said sternly. 
But to everyone's surprise, Rodimus let out an undignified snort of laughter. "As if Magnus would ever break protocol like that! He'd probably recite the entire Autobot code of conduct while fragging."
The whole bar erupted in howls of mirth at the mental image. 
Swerve was nearly rolling on the floor. "Can you imagine?! 'Paragraph 3, subsection B clearly states interfacing with sentient aliens requires prior diplomatic clearance forms in triplicate!'" he cried in a mockingly stiff voice. 
Skids were wiping away fuel tears. "Primus if MR. RULES AND REGS ever broke the rules, it'd be one for the history archives!" 
Riptide jabbed Skids in the side. "Ten shanix says he'd have them memorising regulations the whole time!" 
"Twenty shanix says they'd run screaming first!" Swerve shot back. 
The bets and ribbing escalated as more mechs joined in. Across the table, Rodimus shoved Magnus playfully. "C'mon Magnus, live on the wild side for once!" 
Magnus's rumbling huff was the only response. Watching his rigid commander finally loosening up filled Swerve with delight. Somehow, some way, he'd find a way to get Magnus to break protocol yet! It was shaping up to be the best night ever.
"Ohhh let's make this fun. I list some bots and you say if you think they would hook up with a human" Riptide states. "Rung, Drift and Ratchet" he calls out the names.
Swerve let out a dramatic gasp. "Ooh spicy!"
"Rung is definitely curious but way too professional. Might let loose over a couple cubes of engex though!" 
Skids broke into hysterics at Riptide's suggestions. "Rung and a HUMAN?! Rung doesn't even touch his OWN interface panel!" 
Rodimus snorted. "Can you imagine? 'My dear, it seems you're experiencing some psychological interfacing blockers. Please, tell me how that makes you feel.'" 
"Drift guy's definitely intrigued by other species, if you know what I mean. Plus he's artsy so he'd probably appreciate the 'aesthetic'." Swerve responds
"Drift might go for it, he's open to new experiences," Rodimus mused with a grin. 
Brainstorm nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, his spiritual philosophies suggest an openness to cultural exchange that others may lack. I think if he and ratchet weren't together its something he might try" 
"Ratchet. bah! As if that grumpy old rust-bucket would try anything so illogical. Unless she's a doctor too and starts quoting his favourite protocols... then all bets are off!" Skids laughed. 
"Ratchet? Nah, too much of a hard aft. He'd just bitch about human biohazards the whole time," Swerve giggled. 
"Well if Drift was interested I'm pretty sure that mecn could get ratchet to do anything with the bat of his optics" Rodimus remarks.
The table erupted in raucous laughter. Swerve took a playful bow. "Alright bring on the next victims!" 
Riptide rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, how about...Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Whirl?" 
Swerve cackled wickedly. "Tailgate would be way too nervous but he'd try for his Conjunx Cyclonus. Cyclonus would 100% use his broody vibes to charm her pants off but only for Tailgate. And Whirl? He doesn't interface, he destroys! So that liaison better watch her interfacing ports around that lunatic!" 
Chromedome interjects stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Tailgate would be way too nervous and shy, I think. He'd probably short-circuit just from holding hands!" 
Riptide nodded. "Cyclonus has always struck me as the kinky type. Wonder if he's into those squishy bits like Brainstorm thinks..."
"Whirl would frag anything that moves," Rodimus interjected with a grimace. "But I don't think an organic would survive the experience!"
Brainstorm stroked his chin. "Indeed, Whirl's interfacing protocol subroutines seem rather...enthusiastic. Consent might be a fleeting concept. Better to observe from a safe distance." 
Swerve shuddered. "Ugh, don't make me picture that psycho getting 'friendly' with a human! I'm tryna keep my fuel down y'know." 
The names continue being dropped. 
 " First Aid! I don't know if the medic-bot's got it in him to break the rules. But I betcha if he did, he'd be real gentle and caring-like. He'd have them feelin' better than new in no time!" 
Skids grinned devilishly. "Yeah but would they feel better? Aid's so straight and narrow I bet he'd put em in stasis lock from boredom!" 
"Now Perceptor on the other hand..." Swerve tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Bookish type, but you know there's a passionate scientist in there waiting to experiment. Think he'd go slow and methodical, really take his time 'exploring the specimen'." 
"his thirst for organic sciences might overpower his good sense," Rewind remarks. 
“optimus prime, Prowl and bumblebee ” Chromedome interjects with his own inquiries. 
Swerve pretended to wipe away exhaust fumes. "Primus help me, this is gonna be good... Optimus Prime is obviously Mister Morality himself, but you know he's got a secret wild side under all that virtue signalling. Just imagine how freaky he could get with some alien nookie!" 
The bar erupted in incredulous, drunken laughter and cheers. Swerve grinned impishly. 
"As for Prowl, I'm telling you that stick up his tailpipe is begging to come out and play. One roll in the berth with a naughty fleshy and he'd loosen up reeeal nice!" 
"And Bee? He's a sweet kid, but you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones! Between his cute lil' face and that tight chassis, he'd have the human lining up to frag that glitch right into stasis!" 
The bar absolutely lost it, bots falling over each other in drunken hysterics. Even Mirage was struggling not to fall off his chair. Swerve took an exaggerated bow as his audience howled. 
"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all cycle! Now who's ready for the next round?" More shouts and clanking glasses answered his call. It was shaping up to be the wildest night at Swerve's yet!
 Magnus dropping Megatron's name that really sent them over the edge.
"Megatron?! With the liaison?!" Rodimus howled with laughter, nearly spitting out his drink. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all cycle!" 
But Swerve wasn't done. "Megatron? Now THAT'S an image! 'You pathetic fleshbag, you DARE try to mount the great Megatron?! Grovel before my interface array!'" 
Magnus adds more information which makes everyone surprised " He and the ambassador are rather close" He states
Rewind speaks up from Chromedome’s side. "Y'know... they do have a certain chemistry. I'll bet under all that scowling and chipped armour there's a softie just waitin' for the right tender touch to melt his spark. And they have got sass to spare  bet they could handle Megatron's brooding and snarl!" 
"Twenty shanix says he'd have them trembling and beggin' for mercy in no time flat!" Skids bet eagerly. 
"You're on!" crowed Riptide. "But I still think Perceptor's the real dark horse..."
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in1-nutshell · 7 months
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How would the tfp autobots and decepticons react to the toy furby
Ooohhh! I remember furby's, granted they were a bit creepy in my opinion. These are a bit shorter than what I usually write, I was trying to get most of the characters in. Let me know if these needed more writing in them.
Hope you enjoy everyone's reactions to the furby's
Autobots and Decepticons reaction to seeing a furby
SFW, mentions of blasters
TFP
How did this all happen? One word to simplify everything: Miko. She thought it would be funny to start leaving these little menaces around the base and to get the bots reaction to it. How did she acquire these furbies, don’t ask any questions. Jack tried to stop her, but she successfully bribed him by promising to send him the video of Arcee’s reaction. Raf promised to edit the videos to be at their finest. Operation: Furby reaction is a go.
Autobots
Optimus Prime
He notices the first furby as it sits innocently near one of the control panels. At first, he thinks that one of those ‘birds’ had entered the base and tried to move the thing.
“Hello little one. How did you get in here?”--Optimus
“SSSQQQQUAAAAKKKK!”--Furby
“I see… Ratchet did you let the creature inside the base?”--Optimus
“Did I do what now?”--Ratchet
Then it suddenly started moving and squawking its native tongue that may or may not have startled the Prime a bit.
He doesn’t mind the furby too much… but does sense something about it.
Ratchet
He notices when he sees Prime slightly startled by something.
He goes to investigate and nearly squashes the Furby thinking it was a scraplet.
“Ratchet! Do not harm the creature!”--Optimus
“Optimus with all due respect, that thing is definitely some sort of scraplet! It might be a different type of mutation but look at it!”--Ratchet
“Ratchet—”--Optimus
“It even looks evil Optimus! I’m getting my wrenches.”--Ratchet
“Ratchet!”—Optimus
He does not care about Optimus’s code on not killing living being. That thing looked at him weird and he is going to end it before it eventually causes trouble.
Bumblebee
Nearly has a whiplash when he sees the little thing. He also thinks it’s a scraplet at first, but slightly calms down recognizing it as one of those human toys he saw on commercial with Raf.
Everything is fine… until it started screeching and moving by itself.
“SSSSSSSCCCCCRRRREEEEAAACCCHHHH!”--Furby
“BBBBBBBEEEEEEEPPPPPPP! (AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!)—Bumblebee
Does not like furby’s at all. Claims that they were trying to speak to him.
Arcee
Her encounter with the Furby is short.
Mainly because she saw something move out of the corner of her optic and blasted the poor thing to bits.
“Huh? What on Cybertron—”--Arcee
“SCCCCRREEECCH—”—Furby remains
Blaster firing intensifies.
She doesn’t know what that thing was, but it started it.
Bulkhead
He is running to see where Bumblebee is after hearing him screaming. He has his wrecking ball at the ready and ready to comm in back up if necessary.
“BBBBBBBEEEEEEPPPPPP! (AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!)--Bumblebee
“What is it!?”--Bulkhead
“BBBEEEPP BEP BEEEEPPP (THAT THING RIGHT THERE!)--Bumblebee
“SCCRRREEEAAACCHHH!”--Furby
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET!!!”—Bulkhead
Absolutely loathe those things. It reminds him too much of the scraplet incident that happened. He would be swinging his wrecking ball if it hadn’t gotten stuck in the wall.
Wheeljack
He is running as soon as he hears Bulkhead and Bumblebee screaming. His katanas are out as is ready for some slicing and dicing.
“BEEEEEPP BEEEEPPPP! (PRIMUS ITS MOVING CLOSER!)--Bumblebee
“SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET! SCRAPLET!”--Bulkhead
“Where’s the danger!?”--Wheeljack
“BEEPPP! (ITS MOVING!)--Bumblebee
“SCRREEEECCCHH—”--Furby
“There, its sliced in half. Huh. You two where afraid of this little cute—”--Wheeljack
“SSSSSCCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHH!”--- The two remains of the Furby
Blaster firing and wrecking ball smashing intensifies.
Isn’t a huge fan of the little things. It’s a bit cute in a creepy way. Does remind him of scraplets if they had gotten some mold and gained some sort of upper-level sentience.
Smokescreen
Like Arcee, his encounter with the Furby is short.
He accidentally stepped on one effectively crushing it.
“SCCRRE—Crunch!”—Furby
“Hmm? Hmm.” –Smokescreen
He is completely oblivious to the tomfoolery that is happening all over the base. He is too busy with looking at the latest relic they managed to find.
Ultra Magnus
He finds a Furby near his work area. He tries to speak to the Furby as he would to anyone else.
“Excuse me but you are in classified—”—Ultra Magnus
“SSSSCCCRRREEEEEAAAACCHHHH!”--Furby
“That was unnecessary and—”—Ultra Magnus
“SSSSSCCCCRRREEEEAAACCHHH!”--Furby
“Listen to—”—Ultra Magnus
“Ultra Magnus move!”--Ratchet
Furby is hit with 10 wretches in one go.
He doesn’t mind furby’s like Optimus. Mainly because he was trying to communicate with it and never got to finish his sentences with it.
Decpticons
No one knows how it was done, but the impossible was made possible. After Miko finished getting all the Bots’ reaction to the furbies she decided to do something else. Somehow, she managed to scatter the remaining furbies on board the Nemesis. How did she do this. Not even Miko quite knows how she did it.
Megatron
He finds the Furby on his throne. He doesn’t know what this thing is, but it is on his throne, and no one sits on his throne except him.
“You! How dare you sit upon my throne!”--Megatron
“SSSSCCCRRREEEAAACCCH!”—Furby
Blaster firing intensifies.
The furby would be gone whether he is on Dark Energon or not. Will not admit it but the furby noise sent a little shiver down his struts. Good thing no one saw that.
Starscream
He finds the furby in his habsuite. He is curious in how this weird looking organic thing managed to find his room. He takes the furby to the interrogation room.
“Who are you? Speak worthless organic!”--Starscream
“SSSCCCRRREEEEAAACCCCHHH!”--Furby
“How dare you! I am Starscream, Second in Command of the Decepticon Army! You will—”--Starscream
“SSSSSCCCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHHHH!”--Furby
“Two can play it that game!”--Starscream
“SSSSCCCCCRRRREEEAAAACCCHHH!”--Starscream
“SSSSCCCCRRRREEAAAACCCHH!”—Furby
He ends up staying in the room with the furby for a while. Takes the furby to his room and plays on doing a hostage exchange if it is needed.
Soundwave
Finds the furby on his desk. Lazerbeak deploys and flies around the small thing. Steps a bit closer to getting a good look at it.
“…”--Soundwave
“SSSSSCCCRRREEEAAAACCCHHHH!”—Furby
He immediately groundbridges the furby outside the Nemesis to have it fall and burn on reentry. He does however keep the screeching noise recorded and will use it if necessary… or if he is bored.
Knockout and Breakdown
The pair enters the medbay and finds the furby on the medslab.
Breakdown looks at it and thinks it’s kind of cute. Knockout on the other hand.
“OH, PRIMUS KILL IT!”--Knockout
“Knockout?!”--Breakdown
“THAT IS UNICRON’S SPAWN! KILL IT! BURN IT!”--Knockout
Breakdown smashes the furby to oblivion. Did he regret it? No, it was causing Knockout stress, and he was happy to get rid of it for him. Knockout knows the furby’s horrors, he knows…
Dreadwing
His time with the furby is short. He accidentally stepped on it as he was trying to get some creates to his habsuite.
“SSSCCRR—Crush!”--Furby
“What in the All Spark? Hmm…”--Dreadwing
He does wonder what the weird noise was, but he has other things to worry about, so he quickly forgets about the encounter.
Shockwave
He doesn’t know they exist. There were no furbies in the lab or in his habsuite. The two places he really goes to. He does hear from the others about the furbies though.
“They sound illogical.”--Shockwave
“You’re illogical!”—Starscream
He doesn’t care about the furbies, he has science experiments and war crimes to commit.
Predaking
He finds one near his kennel and does not like it. Sure, the Nemesis isn’t the greatest place, but that spot is his!
“You! Vermin! Who are you!”--Predaking
“SSSCCCRRREEE—”—Furby
Fire breathing intensifies.
Does not like the noises and is quick to end the furby.
Arachnid
She finds one randomly walking in the halls screaming. She just stabs it and puts it on her trophy case. She doesn’t have time for anything else. She has Arcee and Megatron to kill.
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doctorsilverhead · 4 months
Text
Midnight Calls (Bayverse Optimus X Human Reader) Headcanons!
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Before leaving Earth, Optimus made a communication array for you so that you can contact him from earth whenever you want. Every midnight, it beeps signalling that Optimus is calling you.
The conversation would always start with him asking, "How was your day?" And you saying, Thank God! You're still alive!"
It would almost be funny and adorable for Optimus when you worry too much for him and scold him like a mother.
Optimus messes up when it comes to lying. He would tell falsehoods about being perfectly well, but you could tell that he was lying because he would be so hurt from his injuries.
"Did anybody bother you, today? Honey? You know that I will slay anyone with my sword that will come between us." Just Optimus's words of affection towards Y/N. :)
Optimus is really skilled at being possessive. Every day he will remind you that you are solely his and what he will do to you or the consequences if you ever break up with him. He promises that his love for you will never fade.
You know how to make Optimus jealous, how to make him want you even more, how to torture him till he is on his knees for you. So you would just tease him to make him jealous. You would compliment how Drift is good looking or Ratchet. You just love when he is jealous, his possessive words, growls and grunts.
You both would talk all night, it was just like it was never enough. You both would listen to your favourite music number that you will play on your radio and pamper each other.
But as all good things come to an end, you both would finally say goodbye. It would be full of dread and sadness but Optimus knows as long as both of your love is still alive no force can destroy him. 
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uselessmicrowave · 11 months
Note
Headcannons of TFA Rachet, Starscream and Megatron having an s/o with THICC THIGHS 😍
Ratchet
Not afraid to tell or show you how much he loves your thighs.
He’ll definitely use you as a pillow a couple times… he’ll get drool on your thighs and when he wakes up again he’ll offer to lick it up to clean you off.
He holds your thighs and ass when you kiss or make out, squeezing or rubbing your thighs gently.
Starscream
He really, really tries to keep his fetish under wraps but… he can’t!
During solo missions he makes a horny mess of himself thinking about the pudge on your thighs.
Starscream really tries to control himself, he does, but he pounces on you once he gets back from the mission. He’ll practically beg for you to let him give you oral and for you to crush his helm.
Megatron
Megatron can’t help himself… he needs to use you as a stress toy at least once, squeezing your soft thighs while you sit on his lap.
In meetings, negotiations and appearances your presence will become needed as his personal stress ball. He might even rub in between your thighs and quietly complain about your clothing getting in the way.
Since his spike is much too big for you, he’ll make you sit on top of his spike and grind on him.
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