#MOTHERFUCKER IT'S HIM

[thepunchingbag]

right in the motherfucking feels

#playing as astarion has fucking paid off #karlach actually is able to tell him she's proud of him #right in the motherfucking feels #ngl gonna headcanon him hearing this from karlach (who he's romancing) is just... it means a lot to him #he doesn't believe her really and he doubts he did the right thing #he's still afraid #but having someone who is PROUD of him? #someone who sees good qualities in him? #he just... can't believe it #karlach cliffgate #astarion ancunin #astarion x karlach #astarion #karlach #jaheira #astarion playthrough

[sunnygotsniped]

See I like Sans but not in the funny meme sexyman way I like him in the way that he promised Toriel to protect a child that was going to be served as a sacrifice from the start because he couldn't find himself to say no to her genuine laughter and sense of humor at every dumb joke they told each other, how he cracked jokes and pranks to make this child feel comfortable while warning them to be careful and reminding them that people loved them and having a gentle heart doesn't make you weak like to this day I still think about "Take care of yourself, kid. Cause someone out there really loves you." and "You didn't gain LOVE, but you gained love." Sans is our friend actually

#💖 #that isn’t to say I don’t like the memes they're funny it's what he would've wanted for himself #but also Sans is canonly our friend :") #'sans is a boring motherfucker' I'm sorry you don’t understand him like I do

[lionfloss]

white-tailed fawn

#i legit said 'oh my motherfucking god' out loud when i saw this #look at the baby!!!!! #LOOK AT HIM #white tailed deer #fawn #deer #animals #baby animals #grass #cute #cottagecore #aesthetic

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have a Scene - a Plot if you will - that backs this as context. y'all are gonna have to trust me on this one <3 or read the tags...

#the song is 'in your eyes' by peter gabriel #boombox serenade lets GO!!! #in my mind immediately after this the others came over to say hi (or in sallys case tell him off) #and at first howdy's like 'oh ofc wallys there that makes sense. sally too? strange but alright' #then eddie appears and ohhhh boy its Jealousy Central Babey and howdy's train just pulled into the station #scribble salad #laughingstock #welcome home #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #OK CONTEXT I PROMISED CONTEXT #so in my mind howdy is an oblivious dumbass when it comes to his own romantic feelings. #he's so in love with barnaby (its very obvious) but Doesnt Realize It. despite being a god tier flirty fruity motherfucker #so when barnaby - thinking theyre on the same page - confesses #howdy's all like 'ohhh um. gee barn im flattered truly but - i just dont like you like that' #yk breaking barnaby's heart right down the middle #so barnaby shuts himself in his home and wally is hovering. yk Worried #and eddie - who's been helping barnaby come to terms w/ his own feelings & gauge if howdy feels the same - asks sally to check in for him #& sally goes over and Immediately involves herself. she takes personal offense on barnaby's behalf #also she lives for the drama and wants every juice detail Hot Off The Press #so while howdy is having a lil crisis as he slowly realizes Oh My Fucking God I DO Love Barnaby Like That- #barnaby / sally / wally / (eventually) eddie are all having a sleepover where they just play card games and chat #a good ol bitch n' stitch night #and howdy shows up to try and talk to barns (obvs in my head he doesnt have a boombox he just Knocks) #only to get RE-RE-RE-REJECTEDDDDDD!!!! thats how it feels you wormy mf! #bc barnaby is a) having a girls night & b) needs to emotionally prepare for That conversation #aaaaand THATS the context <3

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Nico Robin #THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME #I'm sure someone's written this already right #Right #Surely this fanfic already exists #Please tell me it exists #I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU #Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar #Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat. #Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself #If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful #Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo. #(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right) #(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good) #Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public #If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh #Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too'' #''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either'' #''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment'' #I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while #And I'm Extremely Normal about that

[allastoredeer]

Ya'll want to know the funniest shit?

I'm researching the era when Alastor was alive right now to get a better idea of both his character, the life he lived before Hell, and to hash out a backstory for him.

And so, apparently, Alastor lived through the Prohibition (which was basically the United States government illegalizing the manufacture, transportation, and sale of alcohol because they thought it was the cause of a lot of domestic violence and child abandonment).

Alastor canonically died in 1933.

Do you know how long the Prohibition lasted?

From 1920-1933.

ALASTOR LITERALLY DIED THE SAME YEAR ALCOHOL BECAME LEGAL AGAIN. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW BITTER HE MUST'VE BEEN?

The Prohibition officially ended on December 5, 1933, and now my headcanon is that Alastor died December 6, 1933. Literally the day after he could legally drink all the booze he wanted.

I am learning a LOT about New Orleans and the era Alastor lived through (including the gay community in the city at the time) which has been a lot of fun, and I just wanted to share that tidbit because it is so fucking funny to me.

#guys i just #its so funny #can you imagine Alastor gets the news #everything is awesome #the next day he's planning to go out drinking and have a good time #but first he needs to get rid of this body #it shouldn't take too long #just a few hours #and THEN this motherfucking hunter decides to ignore hunting laws and mistakes him for a deer #when he wakes up he's in Hell #I can just imagine the realization setting in #he's SO bitter and angry about it #he was about to get shit-faced and have a fun time at a party #and now he's suffering eternal punishment #he couldn't even get a proper drink first #it was just a fun tidit #ALSO #the gay community in New Orleans at the time is so fascinating #they literally entire communities and neighborhoods #and a lot of it was from mixed race people #and we know Alastor is mixed race #AH I have so so many thoughts #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon

[veyronvenus]

yeah actually I don't think I want to say anything about this

#WHAT THE FUCK #oscar you crazy motherfucker #i love him #but this isn't good for my mental health #oscar piastri

[crustyfloor]

IVAN'S A FUCKING FUCKER FOR NOT EVEN CHOKING TILL PROPERLY HE WAS GENTLY HOLDING HIM IN PLACE

(it kills me because Till probably thought ivan was gonna give him one last out or something hence why he closed his eyes in what i feel like is acceptance)

#alien stage #alnst till #alnst ivan #ivantill #That motherfucker was NOT choking him #they cant even choke eachother fuckthem #TILL TOOK THAT SHIT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA GET HIS ASS WHOOPED NO SIR YOU JUST GOT FUCKED ON STAGE #its genuinely so hard to tell if Ivan was actually choking him because Till wasnt struggling for shit #no gasp of air as he tried to breathe in #his necks a little pink but that could just be lighting #i dont fuckin know #massive cope btw i dunno what the fukk they were doing here #alien stage till #alien stage ivan #alnst

[cr1mson5returns]

Tim after causing another international incident: While this may at first glance seem like the stupidest thing I've ever done.....it's actually not that high on the list

#i hate him so much he's the stupidest motherfucker alive #dumbest genius anyone has ever met #tim drake #red robin #batfamily #cr1mson's thoughts

[themilanobitch]

kim you're such a bitch I want to kiss you

#developers brainstorming kim's character were like yeah we're gonna make him serious straight-laced and extremely professional #we're also gonna make him the funniest motherfucker on the planet #disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi

[crimsonfeatheredraven]

I can't help but to think that one of the major, core things about Jason Todd is that he loves people more than they love him, or at least he loves people that can't show him that they love him in specific ways.

Bruce: accused him of murder at the age of 15 and didn't believe him when he said he didn't do it, didn't notice that he left the country (I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that was the case), put up the case™ calling Jason a 'good soldier', shit talked Jason and blamed him for his death after Tim and the others came into the picture, threw a batarang at Jason's throat and left him to bleed out in the rubble, dragged Jason to the site of his murder instead of asking him how he got back like a normal human being, beat the shit out of Jason and kicked him out of his home city after Jay 'shot' Penguin instead of using his words and asking Jason why, didn't apologize but simply justified his actions as Jason needing to be smacked around once in a while, Gotham...War. He says that he loves Jason but still did these things and Jason still goes back to him after rocking his shit a little.

Alfred: apparently also shit talked Jason after mourning for a bit. Also, I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that he's the one who came up with the 'A Good Soldier ' plaque. Jason would still do anything for him.

Sh*ila: saw this 5'3 kid who placed his complete trust in her and wanted to help her to the best of his ability and almost eagerly led him like a lamb to the slaughter to gain an advantage, smoked with watching him get beat with a crowbar, only gave a shit about her actions when it was her turn to find out. Jason tried to protect her from the blast.

I can't really blame Catherine for anything because she was sick and it is what it is. It sucks ass and it's shit but what could have anyone really done?

He looked up to Barbara and one of the first things that she said to him was that he'll never be Dick Grayson.

The point is that it seems like he gives too much of himself to people or hold them in high regard and they either leave him because of extenuating circumstances, die, or decide to go, "fuck you, specifically".

He's been failed by almost every single parent he's ever had and he keeps going back to them. Any other relationship turns to dust at his fingertips. He's like the opposite of King Midas. His story is a tragedy and I love him so much.

#jason todd #it's like he always gives a fuck all of the time #i know that I called him a cold motherfucker before #and I still stand by that #but the more that I think about it #he still cares. he just didn't show it during those times

[marc--chilton]

love love love love those moments where house's all seeing baby blues get misty. love when he gets super pathetic about his and wilson's friendship and how sometimes he pushes just a little too much so wilson draws a line like he can end what they have Right There as he stands without batting an eye as if that isn't one of the most devastating things you can tell house. sometimes that man just looks the most beautiful at his most vulnerable

#house md #hilson #channeling my inner wilson here i'm sure #he is not infallible he is not god his wings are melting he is getting strangled in his own leash #people who just see him as a mean old dude who cares about nothing but himself do not get him #this motherfucker cares So Much actually. he is a cathedral you just don't have eyes to see #he's old enough to be my father (and in that one dream he was) but he's my poor little meow meow

[piratefishmama]

okay but has anyone written a no upside down au fic where big ol doe eyed Eddie Munson takes his first 'intentionally going for the gay scene' trip to Indy, totally inexperienced and deeply unaware of how attractive he is being hit on from everyone with working eyes until he's saved by--

Steve Harrington?!

#steddie #Toss up as to whether or not Steve /recognises/ him #preferably not #but he just saw this beautiful bambi lookin motherfucker #totally overwhelmed and maybe a little scared #being /crowded/ near the bar by hopefuls and welp #Stebe #Stebe has to protecc #he protecc and he attacc #an he come away from it with the snackiest of metalhead snaccs

[thewinchestah]

and that’s a wrap guys!! I’m not okay!! But at the same time I’ve never been better!!

#alastor swearing is my religion #im Brazilian I use cuss words as ponctuation #also I love that he clearly cares for Charlie and the hotel but they didn’t make him a Good Guy TM #that motherfucker still has his schemes and im here for it #ALASTOR DANCING #ALASTOR SAYING I KNOW SOMETNING YOU DONT #“you look and absolute mess Charlie #HE JUST GOING LITERALLY INSANE VANESSA LOPES LEVEL OF INSANE IN THW RADIO TOWER #I WANT HIM TO BROACAST VOX’s DEATH WHILE I SING ALONF #HIS FIGHT SCENES WERE SOOO GOOD #EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #the radio de on #O ALASTOR TA VINDO AÍ E O BICHO VAI PEGAR VOX É O CARALHOOOOOO NUNCA BOTOU O ADAM PRA AMAR

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I’m thirstin

#Hoo boy #his HIPS #fanning myself #jason todd #red hood #nightwing #dick grayson #dick & jason #the way nightwing is PEERING at him is making me giggle muchly #motherfucker looks like he oughta have a silly ass magnifying glass out lmao #love it

[lavend3r-stardust]

That thing they do when they run their dick along your cunt and leave you anticipating when you're gonna be all fucked out just from the tip rubbing against your clit, pressing itself against your holes but not pushing inside you . . . Not just yet . . . They wanna draw it outta you, drag out every last orgasm from your throbbing little pussy and feel you clench around nothing as you whimper and beg them to fuck you, rocking your hips so something more than the head of their dick can fill you up

#holy fuck i need his dick so bad what the actual hell i've never woken up craving him inside my pussy before but motherfucker lemme tell ya- #yk i wouldn't mind if she bred my pussy too just saying . . but like . . . i need her pushing that fat mushroom head into me n see me squirm #queer shenanigans and all that #hxrny musings i suppose #queer #bi #bisexual #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #bi ns/fw #bi nsft #nsft bi #ns/fw bi #bisexual ns/fw #bisexual nsft #shira talks #butch cock #nb nsft #nb ns/fw #bi4pan #bi4bi #bi4bi nsft #bi4all #bi sub #bi switch #bisexual sub #bisexual switch #bi d/s