#Liverpool 2023 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

borisbubbles · 29 days

Text

Eurovision 2024: #06 & #05

06. SWEDEN Loreen - "Tattoo" 1st place

youtube

Decade Ranking: 19/116 [above Halo, below Adrenalina]

Alright, fine, we've arrived at Loreen. There are plenty of conflicting emotions swirling around in my head, but overall, yeah, you know how I feel about her. It hasn't changed. She's very good, but I'm not obsessed with her. This is where those entries rank.

Let's tackle the elephant in the room: Tattoo is a good song and a boring, uninspiring winner. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Loreen's victory was determined the second she won Melfest, by default. It was unsatisfactory for two reasons:

(1) The moment Loreen was picked the casuals that remembered "Euphoria" immediately started praising her while ignoring everyone else, and this of course snowballed into the biggest jury coronation since Salvador. Lol that the same casuals that were obsessed with Tattoo preshow became upset when she beat Käärijä. What else did you think was going to happen? it was YOU who kept touting her as the best without giving as much as dismissive look at her competition, of course the Eye of Sauron was fixated on her and no one else.

(2) Käärijä. For better or for worse, this year will be remembered as the year Cha Cha Cha was robbed by the juries for the sake of Sweden. Käärijä was not without his own set of problems which directly led to his demise (which we'll tackle when we get to him because this post is about Loreen), but he WAS the year and it was his loss specifically that left a bad aftertaste in many mouths. It's always better when the underdog beats the overdog, and not the other way around.

Once the dust settled, everyone pledged fealty to the crazyparty Fin while "Tattoo" was quickly replaced as the basic gay anthem by "Padam Padam".

However, neither of those things are particularly Loreen's fault?

What I can ascertain is that Tattoo is not Euphoria, obviously. A lot of the love for Tattoo was spillover Euphoria nostalgia. That's fine, but I meant their thematic differences went understated - Euphoria was an ode to the eternity of love, while Tattoo specifically is about the love fracturing apart and Loreen's inabilty to move on - in other words "Euphoria" was a victory, while "Tattoo" always felt like more of a defeat. It's a subtle difference, but one that should always lead to Euphoria being ranked AHEAD of Tattoo, jesus christ ESC250 voters.

However, this is still Loreen, and a lesser Loreen is still lowkey epic. Eventhough "Tattoo" is probably the least good Loreen song, (technically because it's a Cazzi Opeia song with a Loreen sound - "You're stuck on me like a tatoo-oo-oo that is a Cazzi hook if ever there was), it is still a good song. Loreen proved although she's now at an age where her memory is starting to fail her, forgetting essentials such as clipping her fingernails and paying her taxes, she still has the attitude and flat stomach of a cougar ready to pounce. All credits for Tattoo's successes belong to her, SJB and no one else.

And, not unimportantly in a audio-visual medium such as Eurovision, Tattoo also looked really good on the stage. It had A Vision, which is what every winner needs nowadays. Again, the staging is great but also... not that grat lol - it's not the best staging ever. It's not better than Euphoria's or even Vesna's that we'll talk about later. Nevertheless, the song was beautifully framed under the confined space of that impromptu photocopier and Loreen's choreography. The staging was dynamic, artistic and gave the impression real stakes were involved. It Understood The Assignment. It made the song *pop*.

I specifically really LOVE the wide shot during the bridge that really anchors the devastation and desolation she sings about.

It's one of those money shots linger in your mind after the song has ended.

So overall, yeah, Loreen is not my winner or even a top fiver for me, but oh well, whatever? She was a dull winner compared to Käärijä but not an undeserving one. She's still a solid eight-and-a-half out of ten. She alone provided the triple threat of Good composition, Stunning Act and Killer Execution, so ofc juries flocked to her if they're instructed to assess the overal package. If you still think they robbed Käärijä (they did not.) remember that Loreen was solidly second in nearly every televote behind him. If he were destined to always lose Eurovision 2023 like I now believe he was, it's definitely only Loreen who should have taken the W here.

-------------------------------

05. AUSTRALIA Voyager - "Promise" 9th place

youtube

Decade Ranking: 17/116 [Above Adrenalina, below Manizha]

Sometimes the reason is "I like music." Many were surprised Voyager came top 10, but not I. To repeat a common question one final time:

HAVE YOU HEARD THE SONG?!?

Well-executed ProgMetal, at Eurovision! By a charismatic lead! Of course it was going to get a good chunk of jury votes from a group of people that know more music beyond what gets radio airplay. As Danny sings, if you haven't done anything like this before, you haven't been alive, sillies!

Going into the contest though, I wasn't fully sure Australia would grab the top 10 I envisioned for them. Like sure, I saw the vision. But my predictions come from Antwerp, not Delphi and the visions I see don't always come to pass. Voyager were hit the hardest by the fandom's latent misandry for daring to be men (+ Simone). Then again, if the fandom got their way, "Padam Padam" would win every year (lol can you imagine what a nightmare that meta would be? especially because "Padam Padam" isn't even that good to begin with) and not songs that are effectively Synthwave with Metal instrumentation. This is a combo that leads to immersive moodpieces, and not the high energy spikes you might expect from metal.

But what this blog if not for its appreciation for moodpieces and what was "Promise" if not A Mood immortalized by Voyager into An Experience. Danny playing the keytar on the bonnet of his delorean, or nearly choking on a chicken sandwich while getting 12 Portuguese points, THOSE are MY little joys in life.

Everything on stage suits a wholesome song about ~promising your loved ones you're in this life's adventure together, ride or die~, which as a message hits home even harder since Danny's cancer diagonosis (not like this affected their placement here - Australia were coming 5th on this ranking since the beginning).

And let's be honest, "Promise" is a just really good song that doesn't need frills or embellishments, but it got those anyway with everyone's fun adlibs.

It's like S10 or MARO, not the flashiest entry nor the most iconic staging, but never the less, the personality came through well enough to merit revisitations when I have a craving for it. Besides, we need a diverse array of genres at Eurovision, to ensure the bar remains high and we don't get a year full of Liars and Firefighters. "Promise" defo fit that bill well. It was good to have A Real Song into the mix, and one that was very deservedly was rewarded with a top ten placement.

If you think that a bad result, then that's fine. I agree with you, but mostly because I think Australia should have come top five and were robbed by the televote. 🙂

THE RANKING

#ESC #Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #BorisBubbles #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #Sweden #Loreen #Tattoo #Australia #Voyager #Promise

14 notes · View notes

inhibited-irregularity · 1 year

Text

Since the voting was truly abysmal and the real winner was robbed by the corrupt juries, might as well make a "they deserved better" list including both semis and the grand finale and considering both juries and the general public. So, in an attempt to be as objective as I can, here's my

☆♥︎THEY DESERVED BETTER♥︎☆

In no particular order:

🇩🇪 Germany, Lord of the lost - Blood and glitter: I admit that I wasn't a fan in the beginning, and even made a post about how I wish that the rock entries went harder and that LOTL should either commit to hardcore or be more silly with the song. I found the cheesy lyrics delivered in such a serious and dramatic manner cringey, BUT, after their performance last night, changed my mind completely. First of all, I ADORE the lead singer's vocals (and he seems like a cool guy), and the song itself has some seriously good moments, not to mention how freakin catchy it is. Their energy was through the roof, the performance was flawless, and in spite of my initial reaction to the song, I bought it and genuinely loved it. It felt like watching a concert by one of my favorite bands. Not my winner, but I was really disappointed with how low they scored.

🇪🇸 Spain, Blanca Paloma - Eaea: ROBBED. Over the years, the juries projected an image of people that look for all things *artistic* in a song (even though it usually translates as a pretentious kid in art college with no real taste picking the thing they think their 50yo profesor would approve of). Well, they be blind, since Blanca Paloma brought IT, and they failed to recognize. Outstanding vocals, stunning visuals, the power of the entire performance, and all the emotion and significance packed into a seemingly simple concept. It was more like a movie scene than a musical competition entry, she transported me into another dimension and unlocked something ancient and wonderful. All the people I've talked to had different favorites, but they all had strong, immensely positive reactions to Spain. I literally teared up and had a spiritual experience with Blanca Paloma's performance, and the energy she exuded was undeniably healing, freeing and over-all cathartic. While I knew that her chances of winning were slim and I didn't count on the public vote, she deserved SO MUCH MORE from both general public and the juries.

🇦🇹 Austria, Teya and Salena - Who the hell is Edgar: One of my favorites from the very beginning. A quality pop song with a bop-y rhythm and ingenious lyrics. Under the guise of random and silly, there's quite a few things implied - the obvious criticism of the music industry and the more subtle "people are readier to believe that a ghost of a famous writer possessed me than that a woman can write quality lyrics and have a sense of humor" (shout-out to generations of men claiming Kurt Cobain wrote Courtney Love's songs and lyrics, work on your reading comprehension) While that might be a personal observation, here's what absolutely stands. They're adorable, funny, had a fun choreography, a catchy song, the lyrics that are fun even if you don't analyze them, great personalities, solid performance, perfect delivery and the right amount of quality with a dash of random that matches Iceland's Dađy Freyr and that y'all claim to respect. Shame on the audience; the jury can't recognize talent anyway.

🇸🇮 Slovenia, Joker out - Carpe Diem: Not much left to say. Good song, good vibes, all the charisma in the world. They had Måneskin's synergy, they had a good time, the audience had a good time with them, and they were confident in a non-pretentious manner. Special mention for Bojan, the lead singer, who's shown such sportsmanship, was truly an example of a perfect esc. representative. The entire band seems very fun to hang out with, and while they're goofy, they seem very smart with how they manage to balance witty and respectful in interviews. Members aside, their music is refreshing and perfect for people that find mainstream pop repetitive but aren't into anything too heavy. Perfect for a summer music festival or a feel-good playlist.

🇵🇹 Portugal, Mimicat - Ai, coração: you know she's something special when her entire home country shows such support and excitement. I wasn't a fan at first when I saw the national performance, it seemed a bit out-dated and frankly a bit too weird for my taste, but she changed my mind as soon as she took the stage in the first semi. In my opinion, a Broadway-worthy performance, and such personality! Fun aunt vibes, and one of the coolest people this year. When I grow up, I wanna be her.

🇭🇷 Croatia, Let 3 - Mama, ŠČ: The juries are such cowards, honestly. I was familiar with some of the band's history and not everything they did was exactly my taste, but what else to expect from a band so unhinged. I had some misgivings, but they won me over quickly. The punkest thing Eurovison has seen in recent years. That's how you do anti-war, Switzerland. Satire on point. Weird, meaningful, fun, grotesque. How something like that didn't do better in Eurovision is beyond me. But leave it to the cowardly juries that left Italy's Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro with almost no points to do just that. I'm still butthurt.

🇷🇸 Serbia, Luke Black - Samo mi se spava: Listen, I was NOT a fan. All the homophobes aside, everyone in the country and their mom was gushing about how original and unique the song is, which can be annoying to someone who's as exposed to various aspects of pop culture as I am (humble,I know), and I still think his singing could be better. At first, he was a bit awkward and seemed pretentious during the national selection. However, the performance did stand out, he amped his energy and put such effort, and there's no denying the flawless staging and production and how well it suits him, and over time, he's proved to be a funny, likeable and down to earth guy (with flawless fashion sense). I'm proud of him and how he represented the country, and he definitely didn't deserve to be at the bottom of the list.

🇮🇸 Iceland, Diljá - Power: I'm OUTRAGED that it didn't qualify and can only call lesbophobia idk. I mean, Im not familiar with her sexuality, but if I've ever seen something that doesn't give a damn about the male gaze, this would be it. Still, it's beyond me how she didn't qualify. One of the best vocals this year, not to mention she sung FLAWLESSLY while running and jumping all over the stage with zero breaks. The track itself is meh to me, but should be something that Eurovision fans enjoy; that being said, the vocal and performance can make or break a song with such a track, and she ATE. Power indeed, I was blown away. Her being super-cute is just a bonus. She has my heart and my votes ♡ Too bad people didn't agree.

🇷🇴 Romania, Theodor Andrei - D.G.T: Ok, I can't shout that he deserved to qualify, I knew the chances were slim and the song had some ways to go, not to mention the hot mess of a national performance. However, he doesn't deserve ANY hate that he's getting, and in my opinion, he was the best male vocal this year. I'm in love with his voice and he doesn't lack charisma either. I loved the re-vamp with the acoustic guitar, but at the end of the day, the stage was a bit empty. I will add D. G. T. to my playlist though, and I wish him a wonderful career and a powerful return.

🇱🇻 Latvia, Sudden Lights - Aijā; Well, this one hurts. I know it wasn't a fan favorite, but I was rooting for it so much and still think it deserved to qualify over some *questionable* entries. While it was something straight out of my high-school playlist, I didn't find it derivative and it was warm, touching and comforting. And beautiful, goddammit. I get how it's not everyone's cup of tea, but come on.

🇵🇱 Poland, Jann - Gladiator: Was this a jumpscare? Lol. No need to write a huge paragraph, the entire world knows that he was robbed. I've never seen someone so charismatic and meant to be a performer, and I enjoyed both the song, the lyrics and the delivery, even though I immediately noticed a similarity with Judas by Lady Gaga. However, I feel obliged to say that he should work on his vocals and that y'all wouldn't be so mad if he didn't look the way he looks. Still, the true choice of Poland, and I have no doubt he would've done great in the final.

AND FINALLY .....

THE ONE TRUE WINNER

💚💚💚💚🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮💚💚💚

Käärija (my beloved) - Cha Cha Cha:

Ok, he didn't lack the love or the appreciation. But the RIGGERY. The ROBBERY. THE AUDACITY.

First of all, the song is a banger. It mixes industrial rock, techno and eurodance perfectly, with flawless transitions, while managing to catch the ears of people that aren't into any of those genres. Great intro that pulls you in immediately, and the pacing done just right. Now onto Käärijä himself. He's a fucking star. A legend. It's impossible not to like him. Every video of him I've seen was so much fun. Performance wise, great energy, great delivery. The song manages to appeal so many people with staying unique and checking all the boxes. Want something for the angst? He got you. Want something upbeat? Cha cha cha motherfuckers. Want weird? "My name is Kääärijää", there's our green man. Want quality production? Boy from Vantaa's got it.

The only possible criticism I can see him receiving is something along the lines of "it's gimmicky", which is frankly a ridiculous thing to say about a Eurovision entry (insert the Maryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada meme) and if it were gimmicky, he wouldn't have become the only artist to ever have his name chanted by the entire audience while Sweden gets points, and I wouldn't have replayed it so many times since it came out without getting bored. Honestly, one of the rare songs that puts me in a good mood, cos it has that "starting from anger and angst and acknowledging bad feelings and THEN bringing you to upbeat and happy" thing going on. Eh. Fuck the jury.

This concludes my list. Special mentions.

Not my cup of tea, but deserved the praise - Norway, Italy, Australia, Armenia

Deserved more public votes, undeniable quality, but faded into the background compared to my other favs - France, Czechia

Not for me but I get it- Moldova, Estonia, Georgia

+ Acknowledging Malta for pulling that performance and getting everything possible out of a song that relies entirely on one catchy hook. Most improved entry since the nationals, good show, likeable group, fun staging.

61 notes · View notes