#It's like a boost to my ego but also a slap to the self esteem at the same time

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 6

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 6

Chapter Summary: More of a filler chapter, not much Henry, I’m sorry.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, pregnancy, poor self image, bad coping mechanisms, low self esteem.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5}

"I already told you, Faye! I don't want anything to do with this!"

"So because I want to keep my babies, you're leaving me? Is that what you're trying to tell me, David?"

"Yes! Shit, I knew you were dumb, but seriously!"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf too, whore? How do you even know I'm the one that knocked you up? You've slept with just about every guy in town!"

"Get the fuck out."

"Don't come crying to me later! You're nothing without me! No one is ever going to want you. Especially once you have kids. Who the hell wants used goods? Have fun living a life of regret!"

Faye jerked awake, her head spinning as she tried to catch her bearings. Did David really leave her just like that? Sure he wasn't the greatest, but he had never lashed out like that before. At least not where anyone else could witness it.

No. David's gone. He has been gone for almost four years now. New life. Starting over. It's all in the past now.

Have to get the baby up before the sitter comes. Work is coming up soon. Life goes on.

"Briar, what are you doing on the floor?" Faye chuckled, crouching down next to her daughter, curled up on her pillow by her bed.

"I'm a puppy." Briar yawned in explanation, holding her arms up to be lifted, promptly licking her mother's cheek as soon as she was up.

"Briar, we talked about licking people."

"I'm not Briar, I'm puppy."

"Ok then, puppy, no licking people. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

"Puppy food."

"Cereal it is."

Feed the toddler, quick shower, get dressed, throw her hair up away from her face, wait for the baby sitter, hugs and kisses goodbye, then off to work. The usual routine she had settled herself into.

Feed the baby, because she's hungry and she comes first.

Shower, because she probably has some sort of mystery goo on her from the toddler.

Get dressed, avoid the mirror.  No one wants to be reminded of how much they've changed. The softness she wasn't used to around her lower stomach, hips and thighs. Her breasts no longer as perky as they used to be. The stretchmarks competing with her tattoo's for attention.

Then, the hardest part of the day. "Ok, Briar, Mrs. Anderson is here. Mommy has to go to work. I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy." Briar responded, hugging her mother tight and kissing her cheek before she was sat back down.

"Have a nice day, Miss Warren."

"I hope she's not too much to handle."

"Never is."

Some days, Faye likes to pretend she's ok. Like she has a handle on things. Like she knows what she's doing and not just blindly stumbling through her life while trying to do right by her daughter.

Other days, she would absently push her sleeves up and her eye would catch on the black lines decorating her forearm, just below her elbow. Some days she's reminded that life is a bitch, and you can't always get what you want. On those days she tried to stay out of her own head, though that rarely worked.

She could slap on a smile with the best of them, but she could never force it to reach her eyes. Her face always remained an open book, free for anyone to read. The past creeps up on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it some days. On a bad day, the ghosts of the past will haunt your mind, echoing the worst days of your life into the void of your shattered heart.

"No one is ever going to want you!"

"You're nothing without me!"

"Who wants used goods?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Warren. There was nothing we could do."

Over and over on a seemingly never ending loop, reminding her of the darkest times in her life.

Why would anyone want her? She's not the same hot twenty six year old she used to be. She was soft. She was saggy. She would never be as attractive as she used to be. Anyone in their right mind would turn around and run once they realized how much she had let herself go.

Days like today were best spent keeping people at a distance. Tell them some story about being tired. Avoid anyone that is going to call her out on her obvious lie. Therein lies the problem with dying your hair obnoxious colors. Among a sea of blonde and brunette, powder blue tends to stick out and make it almost impossible to vanish.

Lie your way out of it. Survive another day. Tomorrow might not be better, but at least it won't be the same.

"Mommy, you're back!" The sweetest sound she could hear all day.

"I always come back, my little love." Faye assured, kissing her daughter's head.

Need to care for the baby. She comes first. She deserves the world. Play time. Dinner time. Bath time. Story time. Bed time. The same after work routine she had established months ago when she decided to drop everything and run.

Her daughter thought the world of her. She would do anything to see her smile. She would wear the stupid costume. She would pretend to be a horsey. She would let her daughter use her as a jungle gym. She would make the same dinner again for the third night in a row for her.  So what if she soaked the bathroom floor during bath time? She was a mermaid, and she wanted to show off her tail. Story time, always an adventure with her imaginative little girl. What world would they find themselves in today? Dinosaurs? Princesses? Mythology? A rhyming book?

Ah, yes of course. Her current favorite, the book about the dinosaur cleaning his room. She was a girl obsessed with dinosaurs at the moment.

"Mommy, where's my Papa?" Briar asked, staring intently down at the page depicting a mother and father watching the dinosaur throw away paper scraps.

"Don't worry about him, sweetheart. He wasn't a nice man." Faye explained, resting her cheek on her daughter's head.

"Can I have a new Papa?"

"Maybe someday, sweetheart."

"Can Spider-man be my new Papa?"

"Why do you want Spider-man to be your new Papa?"

"He's my boyfriend!"

"That's not how it works, silly. If he's your boyfriend, he can't also be by boyfriend! Pick another hero!"

"Batman!"

"Well, he is rich." Faye mused, Briar giggling happily. "Now it's time for bed, my love."

"Ok, Mommy. I love you!"

"I love you too, Briar." Faye whispered, kissing her forehead. The nightlight was switched on and the door was left cracked open, just in case. Now for her seldom used free time.

Should she sketch some more? Finish that painting she started forever ago? Ever since she started a "real" job, her art had fallen by the wayside. She was too drained to do much after work and caring of her daughter.

Maybe some drawing will lift her spirits and keep the nightmares at bay tonight. But what to draw? Not in the mood for still life. Brain too fried for something straight from her imagination. Her usual model was sleeping, and her last few self portraits had been a serious blow to her ego. She just drew what she saw in the mirror. Then, when she was finished, she decided she should have worn more clothing before she drew herself. What was supposed to boost her confidence and empower her as a woman instead left her wondering when exactly she developed that roll when sitting in that position.

"Fuck it. I'm drawing a moose." Faye grumbled to herself, turning the page from her self portrait to a blank sheet. Half an hour later when she was trying to remember what a moose's antlers looked like, she finally picked up her phone. Seven unread messages? That seems like a lot. When was the last time she looked at her phone? Oh yeah, when she got home, five hours ago.

All from one person. So she wasn't ignoring everyone at least. Seven messages, all from Henry. Shit. That's not good.

Are you ok?

You seemed off on set today

You didn't even talk to me

Did you at least make it home alright?

Can you send me a sign of life?

I'm sorry if I upset you or something. Can you please talk to me? I'm genuinely worried.

Please?

Well, fuck. Here she was playing unicorn apocalypse with her daughter, and this poor guy was worrying himself to death.

Sorry, I was drawing a moose

Perfect way of saying "I wasn't ignoring you" while also avoiding his persistent questions about her wellbeing. The good old 'drawing a moose' excuse. Works every time.

I think your moose aged me by ten years. Are you ok?

Just had a bad day

Anything I can do to help?

Squeeze me until I stop struggling and my spine snaps

That's called 'murder' Miss Warren

I knew there was a name for it

Is there anything I can do for you that involves less prison?

Nah, if you're not going to take me out, then I'm not interested

I'm not going to take you out by murder. I will take you out on a date.

Faye froze, staring at her phone. He was just playing around, like he always did. No way he was serious. Henry liked to flirt, and she wasn't about to throw herself at him over a joke. She had more dignity than that. So how does she respond? She can't just ignore him, and taking forever to respond is going to give the impression that she was freaking out over what he said.

She was completely freaking out over what he had said, but he didn't need to know that. Was he just looking to get laid or something? Probably. He had gotten pretty close the last time he had been over. There's a difference between dating and screwing, though. He was probably just looking for someone to fuck while waiting for a woman worth his time to come along. Faye was broken out of her thoughts by her phone going off again, alerting her to a new message. Didn't he know she was busy having an existential crisis?

If you're free on Sunday you can come over and show me that moose your working on

*you're

Smart ass

Sunday?

I'll have to see if Mrs. Anderson can watch Briar

Bring her along. She keeps asking me about Kal

Pretty on brand for her

Sunday?

Sunday.

Sunday. What to wear on Sunday? He was probably looking for a little something something for his time, so something slutty? She got rid of all her slutty clothes after she had Briar in a fit of self hatred toward her new mom bod, so that was out. Besides, he wouldn't have invited Briar over too if he was looking to get laid.

So what does one wear on a casual 'date' these days? She had until Sunday to figure that out.

Tag List:  @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #guys like you #guys like you fic #triggering themes

[quidfree]

i would never say no to those two!

12: kiss on the nose

she’s two weeks into dating james before she finds herself alone with sirius again.

this in itself is not surprising; where james goes sirius follows, and vice versa, so it’s not like she’s had much of a chance to catch him alone. james is on head boy duty, though, settling some kind of fight between fifth year ravenclaws which caused three of the castle stairs to turn into slides, and so it’s just the two of them heading off to hogsmeade, more by accident than anything else. a month ago she would have been quite excited about it; now, though....

things between them have been odd. in a way lily was more friends with sirius than she was with james, before. god knows why- sirius was just as bad, and less remorseful, for the severus issue, but she’s since learnt the perils of even sarcastically indulging sirius black. they’d been friendly for a solid year by the time she admitted to herself that james potter had gotten under her skin, and in a way it had made things easier come seventh year, to have him as a buffer.

since the start of the year, though, sirius has changed, somehow. for a while he’d reverted to the barbed mockery of earlier years, sting disguised by laughter, but that had faded quickly; the last while he’s been nothing but charming and as approachable as he gets. it’s off, though, and she doesn’t know when she started paying attention enough to notice, but she has- he is almost physically removed, nowadays, impenetrable distance between them.

she’s not an idiot. it comes down to her dating james, obviously. but the specifics- understanding whatever cardinal sin she’s committed- those she struggles with. sirius isn’t like other boys. he may well resent her for supposedly taming james and himself by extension, but he could equally resent her for just about any other obscure slight.

it bothers her, she’s come to realise. it bothers her a lot. and the reasons for that are just as convoluted as sirius black’s own frustrations.

“you’re quiet,” sirius says, startling her out of her thoughts. he has a very dramatic way of going silent; when he’s quiet it’s an all-consuming sort of quiet.

“thinking about those stairs,” lily answers, offering him a smile. a while ago she might have jokingly linked their arms together but now she feels awkward doing it.

fucking ridiculous. she managed to get all this way into james potter without feeling too stupid about it, and sirius black is the one she’s tongue-tied around.

“ah, kid’s stuff,” sirius snorts, waving a hand. “it’s the same kind of spell they have on the gryffindor dormitory stairs.”

“oh, that archaic nonsense,” lily says, and rolls her eyes. “like people don’t find ways around it.”

“spare me the details,” sirius leers, and it’s jokey but his eyes match the forbidding grey of the winter sky and she just wishes there was some way to shake answers out of him.

“i’m fairly sure you will be first to know if anything of that sort happens,” she says aloud, turning to look towards hogsmeade as it bustles merrily ahead. god, she doesn’t even know where they’re going. he’s following her lead today, being amenable, and she thinks that’s probably worse than the alternative. “james isn’t exactly discreet.”

“you may be right,” sirius concedes, puff of laughter visible in the wintery air. there is healthy colour in his cheeks from the cold, but he never goes pink, lily has noticed. beneath him, she supposes. twat.

“marlene mentioned she saw peter and yvonne heading into town today,” she says, kicking herself mentally into gear, because she needs to get a grip and gossip is an easy avenue for it. “i don’t suppose you know anything about that?”

“pettigrew’s got a girl?” sirius asks, brow quirking and smile going toothy. “well i never. do you know, he has been awfully cocksure lately. i reckon this is a first date.”

“good for him,” lily says, laughing a little. “god knows yvonne could do with a confidence boost. i’m glad he’s actually asked her out.”

“that’ll be what remus was being so sneaky about the last while,” sirius decides, shaking his head. “like we’d do anything to sabotage our precious pete’s happiness! honestly. he wounds me.”

“asshole,” lily laughs, before she can overthink it, because the innocence dripping from his words spells trouble and sirius can be such a dick to peter. “can’t you just leave him be? it must be very hard for him to get girls with friends like you lot.”

“we’ve never interfered with peter’s love life!” sirius protests, hand to heart. “hell, i tried to set him up with four different girls, but he fucked it up each time. there’s only so much you can do for the bloke.”

“i’ll believe it when i see it,” lily cautions, then shakes her head. “anyways that’s not even what i meant.”

“what did you mean, then?”

“don’t feel like sharing, now,” lily declares, and sets off at a quicker pace. no need for any unwarranted ego boosts, though she really does pity peter for having to fight for scraps.

“oi!” sirius exclaims, catching up quickly. “you wound me, woman. i thought we had a bond of confidence.”

“i wish we did,” lily says, and means it more than she lets on. “unfortunately, i’ve heard too many tales of woe about your roguish charms to trust you outright with my innermost thoughts.”

“roguish, me?” sirius protests, walking backwards to face her. “evans. honestly. name your sources.”

“james,” lily says, impish, and pushes past him.

the thing with sirius, she thinks, as they descend bantering down the hill, is that she really likes him. that’s the crux of it. if it was just her boyfriend’s mate, she wouldn’t care about impressing him and whatnot. they’re plenty civil, after all. and it’s not that she worries that if they don’t get along better james will dump her- he might, if it got down to it, because sirius does have first dibs, but the two of them are so intertwined that if it stays awkward she’d probably have to dump james anyways in the long run. no, it’s that lily gets it- gets why james adores him so much, anyways. he’s quick-witted and daring and bold and a fierce friend, and above all lily wants to be friends with him.

if it came down to it, she might prefer just being friends with the both of them, if that’s what it takes. because she really, really likes james (she can admit that, if only to herself, post two years of denial), but she also really likes sirius, albeit in a different way, and she doesn’t see why she should have to choose one over the other just so she can slap the boyfriend label on him.

god, if she just knew what sirius’ deal was with her, that she could make an informed choice, know what to say...

the thought pulls her short as they enter hogsmeade, and she stops dead in her track, frowning hard. what the hell is wrong with her? since when does she stew silently on these things? they’re gryffindors, the both of them, they confront this type of nonsense. what has she been waiting for? sirius to make the first move? ridiculous. she could kick herself.

“earth to evans,” sirius says, raising a brow, and she steels herself, meets his gaze dead-on.

“i know what we’re doing today.”

his second brow rises to meet the first. “sounds high stakes.”

“we,” lily declares, “are going to madam puddifoot’s, so we can spy on peter’s date. we will play the part of the cloying couple if interrogated, but mostly for my entertainment. and most of all, before we go suffocate in glitter and hearts, you are going to tell me what your deal with me is, so that we can fix it.”

sirius blinks slowly at her, eyes shifting tones and expression unreadable barring light surprise. for a moment she thinks he’s going to deny all charges, then his gaze goes sharp, almost violent, and he leans in uncomfortably close.

“what makes you think it’s fixable?”

her pulse thuds once, off beat, then she gives him a look back, loops his scarf tighter. “i reckon it is. and if it isn’t i suppose i’ll probably be entitled to hex you as consolation.”

there is a second where she thinks it could really go either way, sirius’ features locked into distant scrutiny, and then with transformative abruptness a smile cuts through his stony expression, eyes flashing bright with amusement.

“yeah, fair enough, then. shall we?”

“i knew you’d listen to reason,” lily affirms, serene, and hooks her arm through his. “start talking.”

“don’t know where to start,” sirius says, easily enough, though it sounds wary. which is understandable, lily thinks, so she ignores her own slightly shaky self-esteem on the topic and pushes forwards for his sake, watching the flow if students in and out of shops around them.

“well, i’ll give you your options, if you like. you tell me if i’m right.”

“oh, i have options, do i?”

“i’ve been thinking about it a lot,” lily confesses, because despite their casual tone she’s really quite serious about all of it and she has the feeling sirius should know that. nearby some third years shriek with laughter outside zonko’s.

their eyes meet, green to grey, and he looks away.

“so it would seem,” sirius replies, belated, smiling wryly. there’s something briefly tired to him before he tosses his hair out of his eyes. “well, go on, then.”

she gives herself one second of reprieve, then starts, tone companionable. “do you think i’m terrible on my own merits and don’t deserve james?”

“oh, yeah, that’ll be why,” sirius retorts, scoffing like she’s joking. “don’t be ridiculous. i’ve always said you were the best girl in our year.”

“right,” lily manages, caught off guard, then has to pause to respond properly. “you’re not so bad yourself.”

this makes sirius smile, at least in the eyes, so she presses on, relaxing a fraction. “fine. so- you think i’m a bad influence, maybe.”

“what, cause james grew up after fifth year?” sirius asks, lightly. his gaze is thoughtful, though, like this one isn’t so off target. “don’t think you can take credit for it, really. james’ type tends to develop more of a conscience at some point. was inevitable. and there were other triggers in fifth year.”

he says the last part wryly, but lily recalls those godawful weeks in fifth year where james and sirius hadn’t spoken, and though no one but the marauders had ever known just what had happened, she doesn’t press the issue.

“okay,” she says, and then has to bolster herself, because if this is right she’s not sure how it’ll go down. “so- you think i’m stealing him.”

sirius doesn’t quite still, because in a way it isn’t a surprising next offer, but something in his eyes shutters.

“hm. not quite.” his smile is impish when he looks at her. “our relationships are slightly different, you’ll have noticed.”

“yes, you’re far more symbiotic than we will ever be,” lily replies, deadpan, but her mind has caught onto it, for some reason, and she pauses, rewinds, feels her chest constrict a little with an odd mixture of feelings.

their relationships are slightly different. obviously they are. it’s just- now that she thinks about it, it’s not necessarily in the way people would assume. and she’s never really thought about it because they’re boys, and they’re boyish, and people whisper about these things but never seriously, except in retrospect she feels like a fool for never contemplating it properly. because lily has lived with james and sirius for seven years, and she knows them, and she knows what they’re like, and she’s seen them through every iteration of themselves, and she thinks with dawning clarity that maybe she understands why sirius would balk once she got involved, actually. maybe this explains the odd guiltiness that has stayed her hand for so long.

“sirius,” she says, mind still buzzing but tone urgent, and stops a little, trying to get her words in order. “i just- it’ll never be one or the other, you understand? i’m not- i don’t want what’s yours.”

“what’s mine is yours,” sirius replies, ironic, like she’s being dramatic, but it’s not what she means, and she grabs him by the shoulders, makes their eyes meet.

“no, it’s not. but i don’t mind if it’s the same thing. you can have it too so long as i get my own. all right?”

it leaves her lips before she can think too much about it; her pulse is racing, and for a moment she envisions petunia’s face if she were hearing what lily’s offering, but she’s not afraid, not really, because this makes the most sense, after all is said and done. dating james is in part dating jamesandsirius and lily doesn’t mind jamesandsirius so long as she has james. hell, so long as she has sirius too, it would seem.

sirius, who frowns like he must not be understanding her right, sirius whose eyes are dark and grey and expectant, who bests lily in charms some days and learnt how to work a cassette player over summer so they could trade tapes. sirius who she wants very dearly to say yes, now that she knows what she can offer.

“lily,” sirius says, cautious, slow, “you’re not- you can’t just share like that. you can’t give that away.”

“can’t i?” lily asks, emboldened. “was that not what you were intending on doing, without saying anything? no, that’s right- you were just going to give the half of it up, like an idiot.”

“salazar’s sake,” sirius protests, now disbelieving, shaking his head like a wet dog. “you must be joking. evans, you’re- you’re a lovely young woman, you are not calling splitsies on your future husband-”

“well, you had first dibs,” lily interrupts, “and i do not steal other people’s men, so you’ll have to tough up and say yes or i’ll go off and dump james and tell him you were being very unreasonable.”

sirius laughs, incredulous, snaps: “yeah, cause james doesn’t have a say in this? james’ been obsessed with you for two years, you silly twat, he wants you.”

“sirius black,” lily says, darkly superior. “have you met yourself? james is obsessed with me? who exactly has he not detached himself from since the first day of hogwarts? who currently lives with him?”

when sirius’ expression goes blank at that, she pushes on, giddy with triumphant relief: “james has made his choices, you colossal idiot. plural. you’re just stupid, the both of you, that’s all.”

“well, fuck,” sirius says, after a beat. he glances towards hogwarts, then back, looks at her like he’s never quite seen her before. “you’re really serious about this, aren’t you.”

“dead earnest,” lily answers, and this time he accepts it, something easing in the way he holds himself, a tinge of disbelieving admiration in his gaze.

“you’re unhinged. what exactly do you get out of this?”

“well, james,” lily lists off, ticking her fingers. “can’t have james without you, anyhow. and you, also, while we’re at it. i really wasn’t enjoying the cold shoulder this last while.”

“yeah, all right,” sirius snorts, going keenly curious when he raises a brow. “and where does this all leave you and me, then?”

this one lily isn’t quite so sure about. she thinks she’ll let him handle it- settle into the new status quo and then figure it out for them. she’s done enough of the emotional labour this time around.

all of that can wait for later; she shrugs and takes his hand in hers. “as of right now? disgustingly in love and quite prepared to make a show of it at madam puddifoot’s.”

“ah,” sirius says, considering, and then smiles, sharp and conspiratorial and entertained. “just the way i like to spend my saturday.”

“quite, darling,” lily replies, amused, and then tugs him downwards so she can stand on her tiptoes and kiss him on the nose, lips warm against his cold face, just because she rather suspects no one has ever dared to do so and she enjoys being the first. “shall we?”

“you’re a minx, beloved,” sirius says, recovering remarkably, the split-second shock a memory lily will treasure forever. “lead the way.”

poor peter has the worst first date of his life.

#reposting bc tumblr didn't want me to edit the og #prompts #my writing #qui ecrit #qui repond #lmv #sirius #lily #not sure what the ship name is #sirius and james is starbucks so... #pumpkin spiced latte #??

[countingdropsofcolor]

.

#The only pictures I have on these dating apps are selfies #Two are sort of wide selfies but still not full body #I've lost enough weight at this point that I wouldn't mind posting a carefully staged full body #I just can't do it myself lol #Issue is all these guys keep telling me I'm beautiful and I highly doubt they'd give me the time of day if they saw me in person #It's like a boost to my ego but also a slap to the self esteem at the same time #Online dating is toxic and I just need cute flirty dude to ask me out so I can dump the apps

[hlamedhat9-blog]

My Ex Left Me For Someone Else

When your ex leaves you for someone else, it’s never a spontaneous decision. This new person had been in the picture for days, if not weeks, prior to the actual breakup. It’s safe to believe that people, in general, would rather have something than nothing. If your ex has left you for someone else, your ex strongly considered how she felt, without thinking through the positives and the negatives. When your ex breaks up with you to date another person, it’s basically deemed as cheating and a breach of vows. Nobody makes an instantaneous decision to start dating a person that she doesn’t know. For your ex to break up with you like that, means that proper attraction, feelings, and chemistry have already been formed with another person.

Your ex would never kick you to the curb if your ex wasn’t 100% sure that she could date this new person. Normally in these situations, by the time an ex breaks things off, she is already officially in a new relationship. It’s called monkey-branching from one tree onto another. It’s a disrespectful and dishonest way for you to be treated. Your ex has checked out emotionally from you without telling you that she is literally in bed with someone new. Such a person is a low-integrity coward!

People will always show you what they think about you. You don’t need to hear them say it to know what their true intentions are. The same goes for your ex. Actions speak for themselves, not words.

Here’s an example. Today, your girlfriend tells you that she loves you. The next day you catch her sleeping with a stranger and you are utterly confused. Something doesn’t add up. Her actions aren’t in line with her words. Personally, life has taught me to observe people’s dedication and commitment through their actions. I’m not saying that words can’t be as powerful and meaningful as actions. Hurtful words carry a strong message, too. So if someone tells you to take a hike, she does so for a reason, because that’s how this person feels.

Thoughts, words, and actions are all intertwined. Actions cannot exist without a preconceived idea unless it’s something that’s done subconsciously as a part of a continuous pattern (habit, routine, etc) which mean basically that You were belittled, If your ex has left you for someone else, it’s a severe slap in the face. You’ll feel deeply hurt, sad, and angry. But you must summon your self-respect and ask yourself, “do I really want someone like this as my significant other?” What you must not do is plead or beg your ex to reconsider. Such pleas will only fall on deaf ears and cause your ex to respect you even less. Unfortunately, your ex holds all the cards in this situation, and the only thing that you can do is to accept what’s happened and walk away.

It’s okay if you tell your ex that what she has done is cowardly and underhanded at the time of the breakup. It is also okay if you tell your ex that you don’t want to be friends and that you are going to leave her life for a long time. Whatever you decide to do, understand that it’s never okay to call your ex names or to utter any explicit or veiled threats of revenge or retaliation.



Inwardly, your ex will want you to chase, because that will feed her ego. Don’t do it. Once you learn that your ex is leaving you for someone else, announce to your ex that you are cutting out. And then do it. Go immediately into indefinite no-contact, and be prepared to stay in no-contact forever. These are not words that you want to hear, of course. The prospect of never again contacting someone you love is extremely painful to contemplate. However, it is the only way for your ex to respect you again and to realize what a serious breach of trust she caused.

It’s almost certain that your ex lined up your replacement while you were still a couple, which is the height of disrespect and a callous disregard. Your ex’s actions have shown you that she does not value you. And conversely, your ex has no value to you anymore. If you break no-contact and reach out to your ex, you are sending your ex a message that she can treat you horribly and you’ll still come back for more. This is why you need to maintain no-contact at all costs. It will be difficult. You may think it will be impossible. But it’s not. And it is the only way to gain back a semblance of self-respect. You’ll demonstrate to your ex that you will not allow yourself to be treated shabbily. And remember, your ex has no value to you

You now know that when your ex leaves you for someone else, your value significantly drops. The truth is that your value only drops to one out of 7.7-something billion people in the world. What truly matters is that your opinion of yourself stays the same. Have you ever heard of the phrase “how you treat yourself, others will treat you?” Basically, when you disagree with your ex and believe in your own worth, your mental state will not be negatively affected. By staying in this self-respectful state of mind, and walk away from an ex that left you for someone else, you scream of “badassitude.”

I know it can be excruciatingly painful to feel easily replaceable by this other person. You are probably thinking to yourself, “he is so much better than me. He has a better job, car, and is more outgoing.” You’re either pondering this person is better, It’s normal to compare yourself to this new person, but completely pointless. You have absolutely nothing to gain in doing so. Not only that, what you see and hear about this person is mostly superficial. It takes months to get to know a person. If a shiny car and a great job were all it took to stay happily married, there would be no divorces. Take a look at rich people for example. Most of them have been divorced countless times already.



When you are left and “replaced” by someone else, your ex knows absolutely nothing about that person. she is starting from scratch again, in hopes that the decision was correct. It’s a gamble. Most people aren’t meant for each other, so finding the right person is a lot harder than it seems. About 80% of couples don’t work out, and your previous relationship is proof of that.

Eventually you must realize that people who replace you for someone else are often too selfish and caught up in their own world to realize their mistakes. So really just see what your ex is made of, and discern her true colors.

Once your ex run out of hatred and relief, she normally begins to regret her malicious actions. Guilt takes over, as she avoids all contact with you, She is severely ashamed of her past demeanor. But if your ex has a bad conscience she will ask to be forgiven, so they can move on from what they destroyed. That said, she should know that she was the one that completely destroyed any chances of reconciliation, through malevolent words and deeds.

So when your ex has left you for someone else, she has to first forgive herself before attempting to patch things. Sure your forgiveness matters a lot, but so does her own. Knowing what she’s done to you, can also be painful. The amount of guilt on your ex’s shoulders can be overwhelming, hence why it is very difficult to fix the broken bond. After committing such a horrible crime, your ex might want to run for the mountains, rather than attempting to repair what’s broken.

If ever your ex decided to come back. You should know that they might come back for the wrong reasons — themselves. Some exes come back when their next romantic relationship fails horribly, and/or they are treated despicably by their exes. When they come running back after a failed rebound/relationship, they do so to ease their anxiety. They will usually choose a person that was recently most closest to them romantically.

Normally they utter their regret and sorrow and expect to be healed by you. If you were the left for someone else, they will come running back to you because you were the only person who stayed in love with them until the very end and fought for them even when they left you bluntly and fell in love with someone else days after leaving u. When you were in pain, they were nowhere to be seen, and after that their ego might start hurting, they would want to be back in your arms. If your ex wants you back, and you let this person walk back in, it’s very possible that she is going to do the same thing again after her heart has fully healed.



If you consider human behavior to stem from selfishness, you will understand that exes always come back to take from you, and not to give. Keep them out.

It’s okay to cry. Do it away from your ex when you are alone, and really get it out of your system. Grieving in front of your ex is going to make them feel guilty, and that’s not the kind of guilt you want. She will feel bad about it in the actual moment, but as time goes by, that guilt will turn into validation and a boost of self-esteem.

So if your ex cheated on you and left you for another person, she is most likely in a rebound relationship. Because your ex thinks this new person is better suited for her, you must agree with the breakup, and stay away from her forever. She left her previous ex for you, and left you for her next person so you should realize by now that she is not worthy of your love and attention, and that you are not waiting around for her. She dug her own grave.

[inthatstateofgrace]

5 Steps to Unleashing Joy, Opening Up, & Being More Yourself

    There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

How much of the time is the authentic YOU showing up in the world?

Do you have a different persona for your work, home life, friends, strangers, and the check-in person at the airport?

Stress, grief, past or current pain or trauma, illness, or anxiety can cause us to retreat inward.

Just like preparing a house to survive the impact of a hurricane, we can close the shutters, protect fragile points of entry, conserve resources, stock up on necessities, and retreat inside.

If you have found yourself hiding the real you from the world, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Unless you are age four or under, crafting an ever-shifting-persona is a natural protection mechanism.

We learn as we grow-up that opening up and being authentic can lead to a slug of pain and a slap of heartache. Intuitively we find out what psychologists have tested to be true: people like those who mimic or mirror their body language. People also find it easier to like those who are similar or share the same interests and passions.

So is it any wonder that all at once everyone is wearing the same color of teal or using the same slang? Is it a surprise that individuals in a group can converge in dress, tastes, interests, and values?

The question is: do you want to open up and be more yourself at the risk of getting hurt and losing friends?

Step 1: Find Your Joy

Can you name five concrete experiences that bring you joy?

Joy is delight fused with serenity and evokes a sense of connection to others, nature, or the divine. Joy is playful and generous.

The first step towards opening up and being authentically you is to uncover what brings you joy. List at least five experiences which bring joy into your life on a daily basis.

Next, you can explore and remember what caused a flash of unexpected joy in the past few months. Recall moments of bliss from your life and write them down too.

List at least five surprises which bring joy into your life sporadically.

Be warned against ascribing to your cultural or familial imprinted definitions of delight. Whereas joy for everyone around you could be a rainbow sprinkled ice-cream cone, for you, it could be a cup of tea and dramatic rain clouds shifting across the sky.

Looking for some daily joy-list inspiration? Here’s my daily joy-list:

1. The first sip of espresso in the morning. 2. Strolling barefoot through the dew-covered grass and examining my garden. 3. Laughter or delight (anyone’s around me, or mine). 4. An unexpected bright dash of color and white space. 5. A smile from a someone I don’t know. 6. Hugs. 7. Listening to the rhythmic breath of my sleeping children. 8. Writing. 9. Chocolate and a captivating book. 10. The last ten minutes of yoga.

Looking for some irregular joy-list inspiration? Here’s my sporadic joy-list:

1. Breathing fresh air and taking a break from the digital while hiking up a mountain, or skiing down one. 2. A day spent swimming in the lake and then picnicking on the shore. 3. Seeing someone I love who lives far away again. 4. Dressing up to celebrate someone. 5. Mastering a new skill. 6. Connecting with someone new, or someone dear, in a deeper way. 7. Going dancing. 8. Cutting and arranging fresh-cut flowers or greenery from my garden. 9. Giving the perfect gift or crafting the perfect experience for someone. 10. Spending a day walking and playing in the woods.

Ready to make your own personalized joy-lists?

Step 2: Schedule in More Joy Moments

It turns out, you can actually add more joy to your life at little cost. Who knew?

By scheduling more of what brings YOU joy into your life, you will be illuminating the authentic you; you’ll begin to be more of you with everyone, everywhere you go.

The truth is that joy is contagious. The positive energy bounces off you and out into the world. People around you will feel your ‘good vibrations’ and respond with a smile.

Unless they are grumpy sour-faces. Then they will resent you like hell until of course, they ask you why you are so dang happy.

In which case, you can tell them. You can even show them your list, and ask them for their Joy Top Five.

Step 3: Relate in a New Way

When you meet someone new, which YOU do you present? What is the first question you ask?

The first question a lot of people ask is, ‘so, what do you do?’ or ‘what do you study?’ or ‘where are you from?’

It is natural for all of us to be comparing. The ego likes to rank where we stand. We can have the very best intentions, but when we ask about someone’s job, it will be challenging to resist ascribing judgment based on their profession. The same is true for where they come from.

Try it. If I say that I’m an award-winning artist living in New York City, what happens? If I shift to telling you I’m studying astrophysics in Russia, what is your reaction? What about if I answer I am a housekeeper in England?

Now try asking someone about their sources of joy in their daily life. What will happen?

They will most likely answer honestly.

People don’t tend to lie about what brings them delight. You can sense a genuine answer by the way their eyes light up when they talk about their source of joy.

Then you will either find out that you:

1. Share a common source of joy 2. Discover something new and authentic about the person 3. Could try the idea on for yourself

Step 4: Be Brave. Control the Conversation.

Perhaps it’s time to shift the conversation.

The pressure of kicking-butt at work and adding being a source of support and joy to those we love can get intense.

Most of the time, we have a feeling that we are letting someone, or something important in our lives, down. We just know we could or should be a better parent, partner, friend, daughter, son, sibling, employee, entrepreneur, artist, cook, or [insert what matters to you most].

The problem is that the world today is so loud and so busy, that it can all feel overwhelming.

It can feel overwhelmingly negative.

Sure, we’ve all read that optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and attract more friends and success. The problem is that when stress, anxiety, illness, or just pure bad-luck kick in, that extra dose of negative news or interaction with your boss can pitch you into negativity.

Just like joy vibrates outward and is contagious, so too is a dark mood and outlook. Get one person complaining bitterly and watch the conversation take a turn for the worst.

The next time those around you are in a stressed out funk, try shaking them up a bit. Ask them about their favorite time of day, or the last time delight flooded out the noise of pressure and expectation.

Step 5: Yoga Yourself

Why does yoga boost your self-esteem? You start to build an inner fire when you show up every day on your yoga mat. You will feel proud that you commit to practice and follow through, even if this commitment is just ten minutes per day.

With time you will master poses you never thought possible, achieve flexibility you only dreamed of, and gradually slim to a healthy weight. There will be a surge of confidence the first time you kick up into a handstand, or your heels touch the floor in downward dog.

When you start a regular yoga practice you begin to show up for yourself by taking responsibility for your physical, mental, and perhaps spiritual wellness too. By engaging in self-respect, if not self-love, you will raise your self-esteem.

Step 6: Give Dark Emotions Space to Be.

Yes, you read that correctly. First I told you to write out a joy-list, to add more of those experiences into your life, and to talk more about joy with everyone you meet.

Now I’m telling you to sit on the ground and do nothing.

Yes, I mean literally.

Meditation is a way to open yourself up and to be more of yourself by feeling connected to everyone and everything.

Meditation will unleash your joy in a way nothing else can.

Sitting and watching your thoughts glide past as you focus on your breath will unleash some negative emotions.

The noise and business of life can block out the anger, sadness, shame, and fear. All of those emotions can bubble up while you sit still, in silence. You may have been unaware they were just below the surface.

Do you know what is gorgeous about giving dark emotions space to surface? It may take weeks, or months, or years, but the fear will seep away.

With time, the negative emotions will roll through you without invoking a knee-jerk reaction to smother them with food, entertainment, noise, achievement, work, or positive experiences.

You will be able to allow anger, sadness, pain, and fear to flow in without losing your balance.

You will be able to stop running and to stop grasping, knowing all things pass, and this, whatever it is, will move too.

TAKE ACTION:

Step 1: Write your daily, monthly, and year JOY-LISTS.

Step 2: Schedule JOY into your daily life, as well as mini-month joy-cations.

 Step 3: Relate to people in a new way by asking and sharing sources of joy.

Step 4: Turn the conversation to sources of happiness instead of negativity, gossiping, or complaining.

Step 5: Yoga Time: Find a YouTube video or head to your local yoga studio.

Step 6: Meditate. You can start with just five minutes a day to make a difference. 

——————

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Heather Lenz, a writer, yoga instructor, wellness coach, and CEO of the wellness company Delicious Glow. She wishes you to feel empowered to live your definition of a healthy, happy, and more purpose-filled life.

from Daily Cup of Yoga https://ift.tt/2l8h0oO

#Yoga #Power Yoga Daily Cup of Yoga

[lnhsshsabm3-blog]

By Rading Juarez

Whenever we feel down, we want to have at least one person whom can be our crying shoulder. Most probably, that person could be our mother, our father or both of our parents. However, in our society today, our parents would keep on nagging on us and would be the ones who make us feel neglected, make us feel lonely and make us feel worthless – instead of uplifting our minds, molding our talents and appreciating all the things that we have done, whether good or not that good.

Most of the parents nowadays are not attentive with their children anymore that they would always have no time for them, resulting to a lot of troubles. In the movie which was entitled “I Not Stupid Too,” it revolves around the lives of Tom Yeo, his younger brother Jerry and their friend Lim Chengcai, wherein all of them lack spending quality time with their parents, never had any praises coming from their parents, and even got deprived of something which they love to do.

Tom is a 15-year-old boy who is technologically inclined and a talented blogger, while 8-year-old Jerry enjoys the performing arts and has the lead role in his school concert. Mr. and Mrs. Yeo, their parents, would always have no time for them since they would always have busy schedules, leading to a strained relationship.

While on the other hand, Tom’s buddy, Chengcai, was raised alone by his ex-convict father, Huang Yiliang, who has the fighting skills that he inherited. In the very first part of the movie, it was already observed that Tom’s mother never did appreciate his talents. He had just been awarded and recognized in their school as a talented blogger, yet his mother, who was also a writer in one of the most prestigious magazines in Singapore, never felt grateful for. Thus, she even nagged about it and slapped on his face of how worthless is what he was doing.

As a teenager, I know for myself that in this time, or in teenage years, we become more vulnerable. It is a crucial stage for us since we are having our development in all our aspects as a person. This scene really hit me for I too, had experienced such before, and even now. I never heard any word coming from my Dad’s mouth saying that he appreciated any of my talents. Speaking straight to the point, I never heard anything from him because I don't have a father. Since grade 3, my mother decided to end her relationship with my father for it brings nothing good, it only becomes more toxic each day.

I remember when I was still a child, bruises were what I see on mama's face instead of make ups. Screams are the music I hear every day, scream of my mother asking for help, but no one was there to save her. Even I had done nothing... I can't help myself but to cry in the corner. Going back, since grade 3 until Grade 7, I was a consistent honor student. Modesty aside, I even graduated salutatorian when I was in grade 6 and I was also top 3 when I was in grade 7 in Bicol Regional Science High School. But whenever I see my classmates hugged by their parents during graduation and recognition, even those who haven't received any award, I still feel like a loser. I think to myself "What are these medals and awards for? I don't even have a father and a mother to hug me and say congratulations", because since I was a child, my mother works abroad to sustain the need of us four, her children.

There was the scene in the movie also wherein Jerry, was chosen as the main character in their drama, I guess. But what’s on his mind was that according to his mother, extra-curricular activities are just a waste of time. Academics are what one must focus on. But still he pursued on what his talents are. Only that he never knew when he could tell the concert in which he was the lead character, could be attended by their parents for their parents were always busy.

When it comes to my mom, luckily, my mom is not that busy on her work. As a matter of fact, we would always have at least an hour or a day as our quality time. However, it is on me that I don’t want to open up with them about my whereabouts in life for when I tell them something bad for instance, they would be scolding me instead of comforting me. Also with regards to the extra-curricular activities as a waste of time, it is not my mom’s perception. Actually, she is the one who keeps on motivating me to participate in different co-curricular activities only that sometimes, I prefer not to since for me, it’s just a waste of time. Yes balance between academics and these activities is important but I choose to just focus on only one thing.

On the other hand, Chengcai, was always scolded by his father for being lazy in school to the point that he was not studying well and even not doing his assignments. He would always fail in exams or straightforwardly fail in class. And when he had first done his homework, in their class, he was still scolded by his teacher, Mr. Fu. He was embarrassed by his teacher in front of the class. Mr. Fu told him that his preparation was just the same as doing nothing at all. He then walked out of the room and so as his classmates had done as well. Mr. Fu then saw three young ladies and asked them what their scores are in the exam. When the scores were so low, he then scolded the girls and slapped on their faces how dumb they are for not passing the exam wherein fact he even bought dictionaries for his students to learn well. Of course, as a student, the teenagers would feel bad. Until another teacher came and talked to Mr. Fu. He told Mr. Fu that in times like that, in times like the students are having low grades, instead of bringing them down, try to say to them that they can do better than that. The other teacher told him that he must never forget the key to learning. And the key that he was referring to was not to look at the flaws of a person but look at his/her good deeds. Don’t look at the dark side when you can look at the bright side right?

This goes the same with one of my experiences also. Sometimes at home, whenever I did something wrong, the people at home would keep on scolding me not knowing that I am fragile even if I am a man. And most of the time, whenever I feel dragged down, I would not aim high, I would not make such struggles as an encouragement but as a discouragement already. That is why most of the time, the love of my life serves as my motivation when at home, what they all have about me are their judgments. Instead of dragging me down, my girlfriend boosts up my confidence. She is also the reason why even if I think I don’t have any worth in this world, I still keep on going.

Going back, in the movie, during a school check for mobile phones, Tom was caught with a pornographic VCD. As his teacher confiscates it, Chengcai made a mischievous remark that triggered the teacher into slapping him, leading to an exchange that escalated into a massive fight. The principal then decided to expel Chengcai, while Tom receives a public caning for his part in the fight. For me, caning someone would not stop a wrong deed of a student. It would never be a solution to any problem. Come to think of it. If you would cane a student, specifically in public, would that stop him on repeating the same mistake? Definitely no, it won’t. It would not stop the wrong doings but it would just delay someone in doing it. As a matter of fact, the person would just get ashamed since he/she is caned in public. Or worse, when he/she gets better, he/she would plan to do something bad against that of who caned him/her. Even I for myself, I get caned too. I even get slapped on my face literally too. And honestly, it really feels bad for the person who does this to me is just either my mom or dad. But doing such would never get me disciplined. I mean hurting someone physically is never a solution.

Thus, it is very damaging to a student, especially children or teenagers to be caned in public, or hurt through words or physically in a public. With a stroke of the cane, the harsh words or the hand, their self esteem, ego, pride and confidence are stripped away. How will they face their peers after that? They would never want to show their faces again to anyone who was there when they were caned. Also, are we teaching them how to behave better or are we throwing them into darker pits? In fact, it is an issue to be reflected even to the Ministry for in the golden rule, we all know that “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. This means only means that we should never do anything to someone which we do not want them to do unto us since we must only do whatever we wanted to do unto us by others.

However, due to the expulsion and caning, Tom and Chengcai later joined a local street gang and as their initiation, they were forced to shoplift an iPod. However, they were caught by two conmen with connections to the street gang posing as police detectives, who demand that they pay the fine $2000 within two days or be arrested. On the other side, while Mr. Yeo was tutoring his sons, he tells them that people will pay $500 for an hour of his time. Jerry, who wanted his parents to come to his school concert, started saving money, but he couldn’t save enough and eventually resorted to stealing. After he is caught, his furious father repeatedly caned him and scolded him, but forgave him still when the boy explained that he just wanted $500 to "buy" an hour of his father's time. This immediately made Mr. and Mrs. Yeo read Tom's blog and realized how unappreciated and unworthy their children feel. Upon understanding their children, the Yeo parents watched Jerry's concert, much to his delight. Just as this scene, parents must never ever accuse their children of doing something wrong wherein fact, the things done by their children have a story behind. Not because parents are the ones who gave birth to us, their children, it already means that they know us already. This is not true all and most of the time. Just like me, my parents wouldn’t know that last time, I almost committed suicide because of their accusations and judgments in me which were not true at all. I really couldn’t help it but to cry and to think of the act of killing myself just to ease the pain that I felt. I know that killing one’s self is a mortal sin for in the first place, only God can take away our lives from us for He was the One Who created us. But because of the soreness and burden that I felt in my soul and in my heart, I wasn’t able to think well that in that moment, in just one snap, there will be no Rading II in the world anymore. I even though to myself if I were dead, would anyone miss me? Or I guess they would be much happier for they would not be having a worthless son anymore?

As the saying goes “Never judge a book by its cover.” So parents must never just their children about something which for them is not right, when in the very first place, they don’t even know the story behind their children’s situation.

So in the story, since Tom and Chengcai were unable to raise $2000 themselves, they robbed an old lady of her necklace, but regret their action and tried to return it to her. A struggle occured, and Chengcai bumped into several gangsters, while Tom's mobile phone falls out of his pocket as he was tackled by cruel people. The phone then hits the ground, accidentally calling Mr. Yeo, who was currently doing a presentation about 3G phones for a contract worth $3 million. Instead of prioritizing his work, he rushed off to the scene and pleads the old lady to give Tom a second chance. When the police arrived, the old lady told them that she made a prank call, which meant to give Tom another chance. Sadly, I never experienced being the priority of my parents now that I am already a teenager. I am the third of four siblings. But it seems like my mom’s favorite is not me. Well of us four, only those three siblings of mine are those whom she would always buy whatever they want. Well of course, I would not deny the fact that I still feel jealous of what mom is up to.

After that scene, two days later, Mr. Yeo met the conmen and gave them thousands of dollars of fake money. The conmen were then arrested by real police officers who have been waiting just near them and then Mr.Yeo heard the news of the big success with his company, for having the title of the project, which both of them remained overjoyed. With this, I can say that family still matters the most. Families should matter the most, before anything else.

Nonetheless, the gangsters whom Chengcai bumped into earlier beat him up. Mr. Lim, his father, who happens to be nearby, tried to protect his son, but suffered head trauma after being pushed down the stairs. He was taken to a hospital, critically injured. On his deathbed, Mr. Lim told Chengcai that he loves him and that he should pursue his talent for fighting and then his father died. Witnessing this scene, the principal who was never disobeying the rules of the school was touched and allowed Chengcai to return to school. The boy eventually became an internationally recognized martial artist. Just like what the teacher had done, parents must also do the same. Or everyone must also do the same. Everyone must give and must be given chances to prove their abilities, worth, talents and other things which are deprived of them or lacking from them. The teacher who was once strict and inappreciative, Mr. Fu, already got the key that what the other teacher was pertaining to for he already recognizes the good things such as the talents of his students more than their flaws.

Often, we think that we, children, are right in whatever we do. We neglect our parents’ opinions, turn a deaf ear on them and forget what they tell us. We think that what we do is always right. We never believe on what they say to us.

We often want others to change especially your parents but have we thought of changing ourselves first? No, right? For we only see their mistakes, not ours. We feel embarrassed when our parents are with us especially when we are hanging out with our friends, but have we even thought of the reason why they want to be with us? No, right? Because we only see them as someone who stops us from doing what we want. They are just with us to deprive us with our freedom.

But can’t we see it from the bright side that they only want the best for us? That they don’t want us to be like them so they deprive us on doing things which we think are good. They only want what’s best for us, what’s for our own good sake.

And so as it goes the same with you, or parents. You want us to be just like you but never did you know how hard it is for us to try to do it. You want us to follow your ways but have you even followed ours? I mean have you ever tried to understand us when we talk? You think also that you are always right, although at some point you really are. But have you even cared of what we feel is right?

As teenagers, fitting in to our peers or in our society is really a hard thing for us to do. Coping up with a lot of challenges, trials, and struggles are really difficult for us to handle, especially if you weren’t there beside us to guide us.

The world wherein we live in now is really what I think is a test of God. It is for us to be tested on how we choose our paths and how we walk our paths. It is whether we go to the right path or not. It is whether we do good things or bad. But one thing is for sure – the give and take relationship. We, as children, must try our very best to relate with our parents, and so as for our parents to do the same thing on us. It’s like you get to know about me more and I will get to know about you more as well.

Just like us, teenagers, our parents are also experiencing struggles. It is like how hard our dad tries to earn his money, how hard our mom tries to cope with the load of household chores at home. We are all the same. We might have different religions, cultures, nationalities, genders and many more aspects, but all of us have equal rights to anything. It’s just a matter of support that we need and of course, we need the most powerful weapon to make things all possible, and that is our prayers to the Lord. So we must all bear in our minds that we must appreciate our parents while we still can, for we'll never know what lies tomorrow. And never ever take a look at one’s flaws. Never ever point out the mistake of a person and instead, focus on his/her good deeds.

[dillonstoltzfus-blog]

Building Impressive Tips For Organisation Success.

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Considering that our company perceive a circumstance or even condition with a set of misleading assumptions preventing clear thinking, a trouble may come up merely. As soon as you have actually chosen the most effective possibility, listed here is actually a technique to increase the creative impact this physical exercise: Transfer the solution to the leading from a brand new page then write TWENTY suggestions for executing it in your lifestyle. While crucial thinking capabilities based on reasoning are just one of our major strengths in analyzing the feasibility from an innovative concept, this is actually often the foe of genuinely ingenious ideas initially. The Meta-Cognition fiber describes the understanding and skill-sets that make it possible for students to a lot better identify, describe, know, method, develop and manage their personal learning methods. When you have to participate in creative thinking activity you rely on a massive input of sensations and also notions. One could picture that general abilities are proficiencies that are actually mostly ingrained, and particular potentials are found out skills. Below you are going to possess the chance to perform a sustained investigation in to a precisely recognized area from enthusiasm pertinent to your very own interest in Creative Thinking. All imaginative wizards team up with strength and also produce an astonishing lot of suggestions - the majority of which misbehave. This is actually even more from a back-slapping, ego-boosting workout compared to anything reasonable to locate your life on. True imaginative folks don't need this, as well as nothing at all in this might perhaps switch a dullard into everything like an actual creative individual IMO. The initial day our experts explore the innovative process in an inductive way in purchase to build up expertise and also experience. One person may locate stitching an artistic electrical outlet, while an additional may find writing a tale an imaginative channel. For instance, aspect of creativity is actually developing and making use of criteria to significantly assess the qualities of a variety of propositions produced through creativity methods. Typically (perhaps often") jeopardizing on imaginative suggestions causes one thing nobody just likes, recognizes, or thinks delights the original objective. Enhancing The Knowledge Base Imagination additionally requires using your expertise the right way. Creative thinking, as it is promoted within higher education, need to be actually differentiated coming from a lot less focused types of innovation including, for instance, the creative thinking displayed through a kid's sketch, which contains not off an understanding from connections, yet from an unawareness from limits. Furthermore, handling ones very own understanding, complication dealing with and unity are actually the three crucial capabilities that companies continuously focus on. Next off, our company can easily make use of reasonable thinking to generate ideas and also enhance the top quality of the suggestion pool still even more. After that you too are going to be much more innovative, if you use these purposeful approaches during the course of innovative brainstorming sessions. While this method aids our team perform in society, this harms creativity due to the fact that real-life problems are unclear. However, this resistance can commonly relapse through strategies like thruming, breathing workouts, and psychophysiological feedback procedures. Along with creativity, you can think of ways to improvise on currently existing points. If a property owner is considering marketing in the upcoming two to five years they need to pass on examine the reasoning for the following residence enhancements as they perform certainly not add any worth to the equity of the house. That is truly exciting to find out about fantastic bizarre animal truths that could actually leave you thinking in order to how much you know about your dogs or other pets other than the beliefs that we believe are true. Kids do not need all the very best toys as well as many advanced computer game to have an excellent time-take everything away from all of them and also they are going to discover one thing to play with. Usually I find yourself along with some appealing strange and insane stuff I 'd never ever share, however I regularly really feel an improvement of artistic energy after that. As an example, Bulgarian educator, Dr Georgi Lozanov, in his pioneering team up with increased discovering approaches accomplished considerable studies that displayed exactly how Baroque popular music's consistent pace of 60 beats every minute parallels the minds wavelength when in a condition of rested awareness, called Alpha, and contributes to knowing as well as retention. Yet with most business moring than happy along with the perks created their use imaginative electronic media, that is incredibly possible that any company that very seriously researches its own uses will adjust its own make use of. I have utilized these strategies since i was educated all of them 16 years ago, they have been actually the basis from every creative concept i have ever before produced. Steven Donnini is a Create-on-Demand Expert which has more than 25 years of specialist adventure in creative development, production as well as film production. Summertime is actually the moment for teaching fellowships as well as summertime works for numerous trainees, and this is likewise a good time to work on your creative thinking as well as development skill-sets so you'll remain in good condition to obtain that goal project after graduation. In this case, my quest was actually an arbitrary one - I had not been considering a details concern or even problem, I was just reading to find just what I could discover. Advertising and also innovative groups wanting to take care of inefficiencies in their operations commonly take into consideration or even presently have various other innovation treatments in place. Creativity is actually really seeing things or even situation along with a lot of a different standpoint and then examining and also achieving to a service. If you enjoyed this short article and you would such as to receive more details regarding yellow pages online australia - szczescie-w-gwiazdach.pl - kindly visit our site. I want to keep this list of 10 common means our team decrease our organic imaginative potentials close by when I get stuck. This take pride in of authorship may undermine the creative circulation in the whole group and hamper the team's capability to move on along with another person's tip. I am actually certainly not claiming that you should develop into a true imaginative personality, simply include a style from it in to the mix. Each one of us possesses imaginative intellect most of which is actually most likely low compertition as well as as a result untapped. Choose new experiences, leave your comfort zone and challenge on your own to find out brand new skills.

[tortuga-aak]

5 bad habits that are undermining your success

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Even the best business leaders let bad habits creep into their every day life. 

There are 5 that can really harm your leadership and success. 

Some of these habits are: comparing yourself to others, micromanaging, and dressing down.

As business leaders, we'd love to think that we're perfect, but the truth is, nasty habits can creep into everyday life without our even noticing. These habits may be minor, but they might also be hampering your chances of success. Here are five habits you should stop right now:

1. Comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter 30.

Growing up in the shadow of a dauntingly successful sibling, I've always had trouble with the habit of comparing myself to others. Thinking, why can't I be more like them? Or why am I not as successful as they are? Occasionally people seem to enjoy indulging in this pity-party mentality.

But if this thought process becomes a habit — where you look at yourself and think, Elon Musk, why am I not more like that guy? — it can start affecting a person's well being. Whether you have one, two, or several amazing business leaders to look up to, it can be difficult to avoid comparing your business or even personal progress to theirs.

Have you heard yourself say something like, "How did Steve Jobs do it all?" or "Why isn't my company growing as fast or as big as Facebook? He was a college dropout and I have an MBA." (Yup, pity-party.) Here's something to keep in mind when you find yourself in that detrimental quagmire: Age doesn't always correlate to the chapter of life you are in.

Success may come quickly, or it may come slowly, but drawing comparisons to an industry leader will only hold you back. Unicorns are, by nature, hard to find, and very rare. If you find yourself wishing you had someone else's swag and fancy cars, just remember: They had to pay a price to progress through the chapters, too. If you're in the opening chapters of your success, don't get bogged down comparing the later, more successful chapters of someone else's life story.

2. Taking on too much.

As the CEO or manager of a company, especially in startup phase, it can be easy to put too much of anything and everything onto your plate. Entrepreneurs are often called upon to wear many hats, but everybody has a limit. Taking on too much can add up to big trouble. It may be as simple as adding just one more project over what you can actually handle that takes you out of the game.

But more than likely what knocks you off your game is adding one more job and one more job and one more job — until you're simply overwhelmed. We've all fallen into these traps. Think early-on about how to delegate work to trusted individuals. Try people out on projects and roles so you truly know and understand who you can trust and turn to for help when it matters — because it will matter.

Adam Berry/Getty Images

As a chronic perfectionist, I can personally attest to how difficult the delegation situation can be. Managers, business partners, employees: You hired them for a reason, now delegate. After that first hire, business can no longer be a one-man-band. You can't do everything yourself, so don't try. Piling yourself up with too many projects will exhaust you in the short run — and in the long run it can hurt your health, your business and your employees.

3. Micromanaging.

In the same vein of taking on too much, many leaders find themselves in the micromanaging-mire. Don't get stuck there. Showing an interest in and even being the first managing position over the project team is fine, but nit-picking every minute detail isn't good for you or your business.

Sometimes the hardest thing to recognize is that you aren't the expert, whereas an employee might be. Not being the expert in everything doesn't make you less of a leader, it just means you need good managers, team leads and employees, all doing their jobs to fill the gaps. Establish SMART or clear and reasonable goals. At first you may need to oversee the work as it progresses, but step back as soon as possible; let them do their jobs. Not uncommonly, they will exceed your expectations.

4. Underestimating the value of good health.

Many articles tell you the benefits of taking breaks, whether 15-minute walks, daily meditation or even vacations. Heed these articles. By focusing on these smaller details of health, one day at a time, you'll see how the bigger picture of your health affects your business.

Personal health is paramount to business success. Have you ever noticed how many entrepreneurs go through ping-pong weight changes? Sometimes we get so focused on the next project that we neglect ourselves, and poor habits eventually catch up to us in a big way.

Right now, you are probably saying "I just don't have the time for A,B, or C". Trust me, you have 10 minutes to get the blood flowing. I started using Calm for meditation, with 15-minute walk-breaks periodically, and it seriously amped up my productivity. I can't stress enough the necessity of taking care of yourself, because if you aren't healthy — physically and mentally — neither is your business.

5. Dressing down.

Along with personal health comes the necessity to feel good about yourself. Self esteem, pass it on. It often seems that nothing achieves an ego boost quite as quickly as dressing yourself up. Even if you work from home; get up, get dressed, do your hair, look good, feel good. Do whatever you need to do to be ready for anything to truly get your day started. Slap a Nike sticker onto your mirror, Just do it.

Years ago I noticed an alarming trend at business conventions — dressing down. People walk around in shorts and t-shirts, looking more like they're on vacation than garnering business information and professional relationships. Thankfully, the Millennials seem to be saving us from this downgrade in business attire. There is a difference between business casual and smart casual. I'm not saying your closet should consist of nothing but slacks and suits, but I know from personal experience that dressing with style boosts confidence. Short and sweet, dress well.

To be a mover and shaker you need to get ahead of the curve, but you can't out front when you aren't at the top of your game. Luckily, most of these habits can be changed without strain. If you have let some of them creep into your life, take control now. Your business, your startup, your employees, your family all depend on you. Only you can change these five bad habits.

NOW WATCH: Here's what losing weight does to your body and brain

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Ok now before i get into my rage induced rant i just want to clear some things off: 1 if this isnt allowed remove it, i just simply need to vent 2. I know this sub is for dating advice, but i have litterally nowhere else to vent to 3. I know the first thought you'll have after reading this is "no wonder girls dont like you", in otherwords, im not at all surprised that my attitude explains my bad luckHere it goes Why the fuck does every girl seem to just look at me like pond slime? Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to point out how single i am and treat me as less of a human being because i have never had a girlfriend? Why does almost every girl out there ignore me and not give me the time of day when i talk to them? Why does every guy i meet feel the need to bitch and whine openly despite having a girlfriend (the only people i vent about this issue to in person are my parents) ? Everyone just assumes im some emotionless arrogant prick, they see me and think "ew why does that walking text to speech application exist". Why does everyone just look at and assume i want nothing to do with anyone simply because i lack social skills? Why is it that when i ACTUALLY TRY TO IMPROVE MYSELF nothing happens at all? Everytime i step out of my shell and try to be social people give me weird looks. And most of all WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE SUGARCOAT EVERYTHING? I swear i see the same shit being preached "oh we are friendly" "oh girls wont be mean" "oh be yourself" "oh just act natural" "everybody is acceptful" "oh girls dont mind being approached" "looks dont matter" (if lying were punishable by death more than half the human population would go extinct) I can tell you from personal experience (ex: saying hi to a group of girls and getting laughed at) that this is a load of horseshit, litterally everytime i see or hear someone preaching that they dont care about cliques i want to slap them up down and backwards. Cliques exist, and as much as we like to sugarcoat everything and say that we are friendly, we arent, i have tried to fit in with multiple types of people and i just get excluded. Most advice i hear is also the same repeated bullshit "oh you'll find someone" "oh just hit the gym" "banter with the girls" "dont be too nice" "fake it till you make it" (this one pisses me off the most) i have tried all this advice and none of it fucking works. Another thing that really pisses me off is that everyone assumes i only want a girlfriend for the sex and status. Um if that were the case ID HIRE A FUCKING PROSTITUTE WOULDNT I? believe me when i say that i feel so lonely and unloveable.i dont want a girlfriend just for the status, i want to feel loved, i want to feel like i matter to someone, i want to feel like i am capable of making someone feel special, but nope Everyone just sees me as some emotionless robot. Nobody ever stops and thinks "hmm maybe that weird white kid just wants some appreciation and love and care?". Everyone just assumes i am some weird reserved kid, and when i try to prove them wrong by being social with them i just get shit on. I get told im good looking by people outside of my family, but i dont see it for shit. I never get looked at, girls never talk with me, and i never get the flirting signals, while all other guys do. Girls think im pondslime, and no ammount of self esteem and ego boost can fix that, whatever i tried didnt work. At the same time i try not to be resentfull of women, its not their fault that they like who they like. They have the freedom to chose who they want, i shouldnt be developing such a hatred for girls simply because of their preferences, but ... At the same time i cant just blame myself and beat myself up all the time, since i havent listed my flaws i'll list them Shy, ugly, socially disabled, never had a female friend, way too left brained (or whichever one is the logical and less artsy one), i suck at lying and faking genuine feelings, i have an ugly voice, i dont know how to flirt, i lack conversation skills, the list goes on and on. It frustrates me so much how misunderstood and lonely i am. Everyone thinks i have no emotions, all cause of my boring ugly voice. Everyone thinks i hate society and want to be left alone, all i want is to feel appreciated and loved and valued. I want to know what its like to feel loved by a girl outside of my family. Also, i am 16 so before you guys start saying "blah blah you have time blah blah", im sure the real life 30 and 40 year old virfins were told the SAME FUCKING THING when they were my age, so dont even pull the "you are young you have time" bullshitAnyways, i just needed to vent, take it down if you must, maybe some of you can relate, who knows. Also i know alot you will say "seems like your mind is made up" i didnt ask for advice, i just wanted to vent via /r/dating_advice

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