#It took me a really long time to watch the last episode of The Professionals

[bunnakit]

last twilight ep 7 thoughts, feelings, etc

ALRIGHT i ran my errands, caught up on pit babe and playboyy to relax, and now i'm doing my speedwatch. i took some notes while watching the first time and they're a fucking MESS but hopefully they help me remember everything i want to comment on because without fail i always forget something.

you'll all be glad to know this week's meta bullshit from me is far, far less romantic and wistful than last weeks. you've all been spared by my adhd brain not being able to piece together a single poetic thought.

i kind of knew from this moment the trajectory the episode would take. Day is clearly nervous but not defensive - this isn't out of the realm of something Mhok would do for him but with recent context it probably feels fairly intimate. i think this was a really good indicator of what we're in for.

there's a collection of sunflowers in Day's room, tucked away in the corner, not unlike Mhok tucking away his feelings for Day's comfort. the poor things are shrouded in shadow, away from the light. the pain is unending and forever.

Day's flashback to the kiss has me curious. his eyes are closed so he's not even thinking back to seeing what he can of Mhok up close. as he reminisces about this kiss is he simply remembering the sensation of Mhok's lips on his own? how his hands curled into Mhok's jacket? and i'm sure we've all seen the post but - was he thinking of the way Mhok tasted like cigarettes? this isn't to romanticize his disability, i'm just genuinely wondering what exactly he's drawing on here in this moment, because it's clearly something significant to him.

Porjai just keeps getting prettier every episode and it's making me insane. i just think i should be allowed to take care of her.

"I'm jealous of Day's ability to make you smile."

this makes me think Mhok's smiles have been few and far between, and maybe Porjai has been looking to bring out that smile for a long time. does she ever worry that maybe someday Mhok could end up like Rung? does she worry about finding him too?

oh i so very badly want the context for this, i want to know everything. but also, it's really not that surprising. not when we've seen the things Mhok has done for Day. Mhok lives his life in extremes; anger, kindness, protectiveness, his work, etc. everything Mhok does he puts his whole self into it and it's nice to see his love is no different, because why would it be?

i'm once again in awe of what P'Aof has done with Mhok and Porjai, though. they live together so easily and naturally. there's nothing strange or awkward about it, just two people surviving life together. it's such a breath of fresh air.

Day just cannot catch a break when it comes to August. this has to hurt so fucking badly, the pity has to feel amplified by 1000. not only was August trying to force himself to like Day back because he's blind, but also because he was thinking of leaving. Day is a stronger man than me because i would be frothing at the mouth pissed.

but once again, Mhok doesn't let Day stew in his fish tank. he encourages him to go out and resolve his feelings, even if that means screaming at August and letting out all his hurt and frustration. he's seen what happens when Day lets his hurt fester and he won't let it happen again, not while he's around.

"He's a lot stronger than I thought. It's me who's so weak that I let him down."

as much as August pisses me off, i do think this is him realizing his pity was misplaced, and he failed Day in that way, so he gets some redemption points here. (still think he's a stinky bastard man tho)

the immediate distance Mhok puts between himself and the group never fails to hurt my heart. i get it, he's there for a job, but their relationship has progressed past that - now even moreso, and i cant help but wonder if this is his attempt at keeping a distance, curbing his expectations, reminding himself that while his role is to be by Day's side it's only in a professional capacity.

i love that Gee acknowledges him with a little head nod, occasionally looks in Mhok's direction as if to include him, she's just - ugh - i love all the women in this show so fucking much. i just wish someone would invite Mhok over sometime, encourage him to join the conversation (like they did back at the party.)

sometimes Mhok really is the embodiment of a shadow - both of Day and of his former self (for good or bad.)

(he looks so fucking sexy leaning like that with his shirt tucked into his pants tho, whew.)

Gee also becomes one of my favorite people for asking Day to take the photo of all of them. she just gets it, she includes him, she doesn't act like he can't do things, she even insists he can, she's just !!! the women of all time in this show i swear!!! I LOVE WOMEN!!!!

also the "you don't drink coffee, girl spill the tea" from Gee is just so good. she knows a diversion tactic when she sees one.

i want this expression framed, she's so cute, HELP.

i wish i had the time and energy today to make gifs for this week but ugh. the journey Mhok's face went on here to end up at quiet resignation. because he did figure. someone like Day? with someone like him? because we know Mhok's opinion of himself isn't great, largely influenced by his incarceration and reintegration into society, i'm sure, along with his guilt. but there had been that little bud of hope, a little sunflower seed that had bloomed just a little too far, reached for the sun a little too much. it must feel like a weed in his chest.

the way Day says 'here' so softly, with so much vulnerability made me feel like screaming. he doesn't know what his feelings are for Mhok yet (you can't tell me he doesn't feel anything) but he knows he doesn't want to lose Mhok and the sudden idea of it is terrifying. Mhok is the only person that really understands him, one of the only people he's comfortable around anymore, and he can't lose that. he doesn't want to go back to the dirty fish tank.

i also think this was an indicator to Mhok that maybe Day doesn't know how he feels, and maybe he can get away with flirting in tiny, subtle ways because from here on his secret flirting game is in full effect and it's so fucking cute. he's careful not to completely push past Day boundaries, but to test them in gentle ways.

THE SHOES MY BELOVEDS. we all know what i feel about these shoes after last week and i'm so glad to see all of my stupid babbling confirmed here. i love that Mhok constantly mends things instead of throwing them away. the sentimentality of items means something to Mhok and we love him for that.

we also got a proper 'sweet dreams' this episode, finally!! thank you subbers!

so many shots of feet this ep tho and lemme tell you as someone that HATES feet, this was rough.

oh you are so smitten. Day realizing Mhok is warm, warm in his own way, warm in such a gentle and understated way. UGH. you would've thought he knew after everything they've been through but sometimes people need a reminder and maybe something to drive them to pay closer attention. our boy is BESOTTED. kicking his feet and giggling. i think this is the happiest we've ever seen him.

so here's where i'm probably going to wax poetic the most. Mhok is finally opening up to Day in such an incredible way. he brings Day to his home with no fear of pity or judgement. he brings him into this sanctuary created by him, his sister, and Porjai and he cooks for him and cares for him and in letting him in Day sees even more how impossibly warm Mhok is.

what's even greater is there isn't a single moment where Day is jealous or questions Porjai being there. Mhok has told him she's expecting and he's never weird about it, just kind and understanding and it's all so normalized, it's fucking beautiful. Day even takes the time to encourage Porjai, to share about his mom, and about the strength it takes to be a single mom. P'Aof i adore you.

Mhok has planted jasmine simply because he knows Day likes it, and maybe now he likes it too. and he brings Last Twilight home to practice reading (i'd always wondered how he managed to read without stumbling over himself lmao) and he's done it so much that now Porjai wants to name their child Mee, wants to create this connection to Day forever.

and once prompted, once Day knows enough to ask, Mhok opens up about Rung, talks about her more. Day comments on the warmth of the house, something started by Rung and cultivated by Mhok. it would be so easy for the house to feel cold and clinical, especially knowing what happened here, but Mhok has kept it a home - warm, inviting, comforting - all the things Mhok has been to Day.

the noises took me by fuckin' surprise tho, i genuinely looked around my house like who the fuck is making all that noise and then i was like OH THOSE ARE-- OKAY--

and I know people are like haha P'Aof has a scent kink but like. idk. maybe it's just me but scents are something i'm drawn to. i remember the way someone smelled more than i remember their face. i recently took a shirt out of my closet and immediately started crying. it smelled like face powder and perfume. it smelled like my grandma. the leather jacket pushed to the side smells like cigarettes and horses, like my dad always did.

scent is such an ingrained memory, something that is so hard for our brains to let go of. every time i get a familiar smell it knocks me on my ass, and i'm so glad to see some of this represented in these shows.

this absolutely warmed my heart. whatever is going on with Night and Day is clearly more on Day's side than anything else. Night clearly loves his brother and i'm just fucking DYING to know what is going on that is causing Day to drive a wedge between them. sure, Night hasn't been perfect, but there's love there and that counts for so much.

and what exactly are you doing here??? this is a charity run for blindness - does he know someone that is blind other than Day? did meeting Day inspire him to participate? has he spent time talking to Mhok about Day and maybe the difficulties of his blindness? i am filled with questions but i love this character so much, he's just so kind.

Day's hesitation to cross the finish line was also something i found so interesting. it felt long, possibly too drawn out, but Day needed to think, needed time to understand that if he crosses that finish line, if he accepts Mhok's request to be his boyfriend, their lives will never go back to how they were. things between them will change forever, whether the relationship is a success or otherwise. it's an incredibly mature thing of Day to do, even if it felt a little lengthy for us, the audience.

i strongly believe that in addition to Mhok Porjai is going to be a big driving force in Night and Day's reconciliation. i would love to see Porjai gain Night's side of the story, Mhok gain Day's side of the story, and the two of them working together to see how they can reunite these brothers.

also if i had a nickle for every time P'Aof paired Mark with a pregnant woman in his shows i'd have two nickles, which isn't a lot but it's interesting it has happened twice.

while i, like everyone else, hope the mock proposal is a parallel we get to see later i want to focus more on this moment.

i forget who said it, it's long gone to the depths of my dash by now, but someone commented that disabilities do not stop for love, and fuck is that so true. i love Mhok's concern, his immediate reaction to soothe, and the way he seems to feel Day's fear as his own. and poor Day, he can't even enjoy this moment of bliss with Mhok because of course, of course something like this had to happen. it's so fucking real in the way Last Twilight has been this entire time.

the constant excellent representation of disabled living has been incredible to see, i've seen so much of myself in this show (even though my disability is so very different) and it's been like a warm blanket put over very single comment: you're too young to be disabled, you aren't THAT disabled, you're being dramatic, etc.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you P'Aof and team.

tag loves: @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious (as always tell me if you want to be added {for LT only or all meta} or removed!)

#bunn meta #last twilight #last twilight the series #mhokday #morkday #userjamiec #im soooo fuckin sleepy after making this but i still have to work #someone come make me tea and gimme a little kith

[yellow-dejavu]

When I saw Dark, I definitely expected characters like Hannah and Ulrich to be hated. I wasn't surprised when I saw comments disliking them on different websites, but I just didn't expect to see people celebrating that Hannah was murdered by her own child while her younger child was sleeping in the same room.

People can enjoy any moment they want while watching a show or movie, but I just don't get it. Hannah gets an amount of hate that no other character in the show gets, and it feels like a large part of the show's viewers ignore to even trying to understand her.

jonas literally says in the first episode:

“My father said good and evil are a question of perspective.”

I'm not saying her character didn't do bad things, but it's exhausting how that's the only thing people see about her and it's just like they're trying to erase the good she did or all the positive things she meant in certain characters' lives.

I was even more shocked to see how few comments put Hannah on the same level as Helene Albers. I just don't understand how anyone could think that Hannah is somehow comparable to an abusive parent.

Hannah with her kids:

When she saw her boy struggling to cope with his dad's dead, she supported her child and made sure he got the professional help he needed.

And when Jonas came back to town, she made sure he got his medications and therapy sessions with Peter.

Hannah was so worried when Jonas tells her he had a fight at the end of the first season.

In the same scene, he just wanted to comfort his mother by saying, "Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine, Mom." when he actually believed that he could save Mikkel and thus end his own existence.

As the months passed since her son's disappearance, Hannah was so devastated that she almost took her own life.

She didn't, because Stranger Jonas appeared.

Stranger Jonas has returned after years of living in the apocalypse, and he doesn't know what else to do when his plan fails. The only thing he can think of is to go to his mom and tell her the truth.

After the time young Jonas spent traveling with Claudia, the first thing he does when he finally returns home is look for his mom.

It was a long time before Hannah saw her son again.

But she went to see him immediately when a random old woman told her that she knew where her son was and that he needed her.

Hannah was heartbroken when she saw what had happened to her boy. In that moment she apologized, recognized her mistakes, and told him that she was there for him.

Young Adam looked scary, but Hannah loved him anyway, and baby Silja trusted him when he said, "I want to show you a secret. But we'll let your mom rest, okay?"

Hannah died when Silja was very young and she probably didn't remember much about her mom, but she still named her firstborn Hanno after her.

and that's just to mention some of the things I could remember about Hannah's relationship with her kids.

The last dialogue of the whole show:

"I always thought "Jonas" was a good name."

Hannah was a good mom and her kids absolutely loved her. It bothers me that some people want to take that away from her because they don’t like her.

It's really hard for me to understand how some viewers can watch a show like Dark and decide that they can see all the million gray areas that all these characters had, but with one particular character they reduce everything to black and white.

#dark netflix #hannah krüger #shes so overhated #idc i will always defend her #hannah kahnwald #i love her #fake katharina nielsen #hannah nielsen #the woman of many names #silja #jonas kahnwald #hannah wöller #dark 2017 #dark adam #stranger jonas #some people like to talk about how dark is about parental love and ignore Hannah's part in it #it makes no sense to me #dark #baran & jantje & maja did a great job with this character #i posted this

[bcbdrums]

"now the anime i felt diminished Soul's character in the second half... that's another topic though, haha."

What do you mean, his character was diminished?

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to answer!! Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't seen the whole show.

Let me approach this a different way... We know the running joke about Tsubaki, that after the Masamune arc she gets no character development. Her lines are just screaming Black Star's name, and that's about it for her.

That's how it feels for Soul after Crona shows up. Except with him it's just...silent brooding and watching his meister put all her focus onto someone else. The meister/weapon relationship that seems like it's kinda supposed to be the whole point of the show...? We don't get much of that for Soul and Maka anymore until the finale. And then it feels just kinda...forced in at the last moment, since we haven't gotten much of that.

He's not the only one whose arc gets skewed, and a good lot of that is due to the anime ending so abruptly and not getting to tell a fuller story. It needed at least ten more episodes in my opinion, whether it followed the manga or not... It just ended too fast.

But Soul specifically got supplanted by Crona, and it makes no sense to me. To have his relationship with Maka just...set aside entirely. Or rather, the issue is that they tried to pretend it wasn't. They tried to pretend all was well, and then bring it back at the very end as if things have been fine the entire time. But no.....no they haven't been.

For some idk like fifteen episodes or so? The only glimpses of Soul are him brooding, pining, trying to be himself toward Maka, being a good friend and weapon, but Maka only has eyes for Crona. Even at their apartment her only thoughts are for Crona, even telling Soul to leave her alone one time. She puts this wall between them and doesn't even know she's doing it, and Soul... His devotion to her never changes.

And... He never gets resolution with Crona for himself. So Maka just...forgave Crona I guess for almost killing Soul? Remember that huge giant plot point that started back in episode 7? That started the entire black blood thing? We never see or hear them talk about it but I guess Maka just....let it go, after purifying Crona? Which makes NO sense but okay I guess. But what about Soul... So since Maka decided to forget about Crona almost killing him, Soul is supposed to just forget too? Since his meister has decided to obsess over this poor mixed up kid who desperately needs professional help NOT a friendship that's doomed to unhealthiness due to the kid's issues, and Soul's supposed to just...be cool with it?

I was really glad that Kid brought it up that one time at the courts, even if it was just for a moment. At least somebody remembered what Soul went through. But it should have been his meister.

So yeah it's just...messed up. In summary.... Soul gets ignored second half of the show till a last-minute dramatic thing in the finale, but it feels out of place since Maka has ignored him for who knows how many episodes except to tell him to leave her alone. Soul has remained devoted and loyal. Soul's devotion to her has him repeatedly use the black blood for the sake of all of them, risking himself. And Maka just forgot I guess about her "new project" or whatever almost killing her weapon. And Soul just gotta deal with....all of that. Deal with what looks like the slow losing of his meister.

Yeah. That's what I meant by Soul being diminished... Everything about him was just kinda forgotten except what he could do for the rest of them.

Gonna take a left-turn here and compare Maka to her father again... Wonder if this is what Stein felt like watching his weapon go off with someone else, slowly losing him to some new, interesting person for whatever reason...

Yeah Maka, your weapon deserved better from you.

All that said? Oh I still ship it. I can be annoyed as heck with canon and still use it, lol.

#soul eater #soul evans #maka albarn #crona gorgon #crona #soul eater evans #maka x soul #soul x maka #soma #death the kid #dtk #spirit albarn #franken stein #stein #spirit #death scythe #dr stein #dr. stein #professor stein #crossstitch #pinned post

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h season three continues!! disc two!!

"alcoholics unanimous" is so funny oh my god

the scene where trapper, hot lips, and hawkeye are all lit and making each other laugh is note perfect i want to live in it forever. i can't decide if "who was that guy?" was scripted or if loretta swit just went for a one-shot kill after the scene was over but i live for these bits when margaret accidentally ends up on team 100 proof

it's also nice of them to periodically remind us that frank has a huge wang. i'm glad he's got that one thing going for him

they're really softening hot lips this season 💕

they're styling her much younger, too. the barrettes! the ponytails!!!! i might never recover from the ponytails.

and the scene where she is reading a that letter to radar while he's in the hospital, and she has that little giddy smile at the end! it's so sweeeeeet it's killing me come on

i have a lot of thoughts about frank and margaret, and like five of them are about the phone call in the nurses episode

"knowing you'd kill me makes my life worthwhile" see. with the laugh track off, this joke turns into just margaret staring dreamily in soft focus and the realization that ohhhh. oh no. she really means that. she's like in love in love with this clown, that's so embarrassing for her

(also from that episode: the afterlife song is stuck in my head! the nurse song with the halfhearted montage though like. what happened in the editing room there.)

(also hilarious that trapper misses his wife for the first and only time when every woman in the camp is gone)

"adam's rib" - i like how everyone universally thinks hawkeye's quest is dumb, but they climb aboard the shenanigans because they have nothing else to do

WE LIED TO MILDRED!!!

i don't think i've mentioned how much i love henry and radar together. their comic timing is flawless. that bit of talking over each other never gets old. and then whenever they love and defend each other!!! i love a professional substitute dad

time for "bombed"!!! blow that pyrotechnics budget babyyyyy! blow shit up! break windows! light stuff on fire!!

the trapper/hot lips ship watch on this blog turned into a ship warning just in time for the two of them to get locked in a supply tent and not bang

you gotta admit the long-running ust potential here is pretty great (they hate each other) (but he's a little obsessed about hating her) (and she lusts after him) (and they're both hot)

SADLY for my cause there was no booze in there, because every time she gets drunk she's like "regrettably, there's frank" but sober she wants to marry him

no wonder he wants to outlaw alcohol in the camp

"we held hands and said the pledge of allegiance together" okay they are genuinely so funny sometimes though

i'm also falling hard for hawkeye/trapper but they would never be exclusive so multishipping is built in

last on the disc is "bulletin board"!!!

an episode about nothing is so soothing after all the explosives. the balance of action and Just Hanging Around in this series is really enjoyable

trapper writing a letter to his daughter 🥺

"korea? the war still?" and the rest of that little pillow fight scene. so much sibling energy in the swamp.

henry losing that patient hit well. i hate to be like "i'm rooting for patients to die" because it's not that, but they save them so successfully that it's dramatically satisfying whenever they don't. and i like how it silently affects henry through the rest of the ep while the rest of them have fun

that long beautiful shot of all of them running back to camp!!!!

ok this post took me like three days to write somehow because i rewatched everything ENJOYYYYYY

#i could write this many bullet points about any single episode but i'm playing it cool you know #mashblogging #it's about time i watched m*a*s*h

[tedcicle]

Official Palcove Propaganda Post

[ID: Text with a fire effect that says "WATCH PALCOVE NOW" in red capital letters. /.End ID.] Now you may be asking... Who?

Palcove is both the name of the iconic duo of Ted Nivison (of Rainforest Cafe/Margaritaville/400mg edible fame) and Charlie Slimecicle (professional gay sex roleplayer, at least that's what he should be known for) and the area they lived in during their brief time on EpicSMP (a modded SMP created by, uh... *cough* Matt SuperMega *cough*. You can hazard a guess as to why this SMP didn’t really take off.)

Okay, why should I care?

I shan't lie and say EpicSMP is like, crazy good, or a hidden gem, or YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS — really, it's basically TekkitLive but there's way more people on it. It's a largely forgotten SMP, overshadowed by more popular and successful SMPs that happened before or around it. (OriginsSMP, for example.) There's a bunch of interesting duos trying to start their own businesses, and while nothing happened happened, at the end everybody died, which is interesting to think about. (Actually, wait... yeah, it’s just like TekkitLive.) But it was fun. There were some good bits, some light roleplay, and enough seedlings of a plotline to get an average viewer Andy like me invested in. There was some kind of season 2, but it never took off. I'm sure MCYT fans are accustomed to the disappointment of non-existent fandoms, unfinished stories, or lacking narratives by now (Shadow of Israphel was my first heartbreak, but maybe yours was something else). Another one wouldn’t hurt, right? Why Palcove specifically? Well, as a former SMPLiver— (I am escorted off the stage to a chorus of boos) I just really like Ted and Charlie's dynamic. They’re the perfect comedy duo. Charlie works best when he has someone to bounce bits off of, and Ted knows exactly how to pick up what Charlie is putting down and elevate it to the next level. (The adverb and adjective bit in the first VOD had me DYING.) Story-wise, Charlie had a satisfying character arc. He’s a pivotal character and I liked how he plays off of Schlatt and Swagger, too. Not to mention, this is the last time Ted has uploaded or streamed any Minecraft content... I miss him, chat. Also, it makes me happy. Isn't that enough?

Well, okay, you got me interested. How do I watch?

I'm glad you asked (even if you wouldn't fucking say that, I don't care). Firstly, a primer. Sometimes we start a new thing, but it ends up not being to our liking, and that's fine. Maybe you want to walk around and see how it fits before you commit. That's fine! All I ask for is 14 minutes of your time. That's like, 4 songs.

This video is the first day edited down into a nice, palatable, taste-tester, courtesy of unknown energy on YouTube. It's so nice and cozy and comfy, it's the equivalent of a mug of hot chocolate curled up in an armchair with a warm blanket wrapped around you. As for continuing, I highly recommend starting with Charlie's POV. It's probably who you're most familiar with, and he bothered to edit down his streams (even if the videos are like, an hour long). If you like listening to men argue and make the unfunniest jokes imaginable, then definitely try the full VODs. All of these have been archived by the channel EpicSMPVods.

Charlie's POV Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 VODS Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | End of S1* Ted's POV Episode 1 (Yes, he really only did one episode) VODS Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

*This VOD is Swagger's POV, as Charlie didn't upload the finale at all, and the VOD of it either doesn’t exist or wasn’t archived. The relevant Charlie section starts around 15 minutes in.

And if you want more of the story, well, Swagger has one of the most comprehensive EpicSMP POVs.

Final Thoughts

Like many other “stream only” SMPs, a lot of content regarding them simply gets lost and forgotten. There's plenty of reasons why EpicSMP wasn't very successful (in-depth analysis post pending). I’m just glad that not only did Palcove exist, but it's archived. It just so happened to survive against surmountable odds and even have what I consider a satisfying narrative ending (in-depth analysis post pending). And I’m insane about it. And everyone else should be, too.

[ID: Text with a fire effect "WATCH PALCOVE NOW" in red capital letters. /.End ID.]

#storm in a teacup #epicsmp #ted nivison #charlie slimecicle #palcove #described #id in alt #fuck yeah accessibility!!!

[missbabyjay]

New Beginnings - Bill Hader x f Reader

Part 2

Warnings - alcohol, language, fluff

Word Count: 2.6 k

I want to take things slow with this story. Again, HE IS NOT MARRIED IN THIS DIMENSION LMAO

Part 1

MASTERLIST

. . .

You woke up to the mind-numbing sound of your alarm clock. You quickly turned to your side to hit the "OFF" button, rubbed your eyes, and continued to lay in bed - enjoying the silence while you could. You stared at the red, bold, electric numbers that read "7:00 a.m". You continued laying there... dreading to get up until your morning grog began to fade and you remembered the night you had before.

Suddenly you got butterflies in your stomach and felt excitement that you had not felt in many years. The adrenaline that rushed through your body as you remembered spending time with Bill last night was enough energy for you to pull yourself out of bed and prepare for the long awaited Tuesday at the studio.

You knew today was going to be an extremely long day but instead of looking at it in a stressful manner, you were excited to spend hours on end with Bill. He made you feel giddy like a teenager again. He made you feel as though love wasn't an unnerving thing anymore. But you had to snap yourself out of a daydream - this was only your second day working at SNL and you didn't want the quick feelings of lust to get in the way of your success and professionalism.

. . .

You quickly showered, made your coffee, packed your book bag and made your way to the studio. Unlike yesterday, when you were met with the chaos after exiting the elevator, you didn't feel the same. Sure, you were still slightly overwhelmed but you knew where to head. You made your way to John's office and lightly knocked before opening the door. As you walk in John and Bill were sitting beside each other messing around while filling the room with laughter.

When they noticed you had entered the room they both lit up even more, "Y/N!" Bill exclaimed with a wide smile shining across his face. He quickly got up and did a little jog over to you followed by a big, warm embrace. Oh my god. You really felt like you belonged with these two which made this job even more unimaginable. John gave you a playful look after Bill set you down, "Well hello there Y/N, excited for your first day of writing?".

The three of you worked together throughout the day, picking away at details in the sketch while making sure you explored any possible joke for the piece. Stefon had already be on air a handful of times so the story line was quite developed before you joined. The three of you decided that this episode would be Valentines Day related as the 14th of February was coming up on Monday.

You managed to come up with a bit where Bill would do an impression of a coked up gremlin. You weren't sure where it really came from; maybe it was from watching Pulp Fiction recently? Bill and John absolutely loved it though, and you finally became comfortable with the writing process at SNL.

The day lasted as long as you had expected. You were introduced to Fred when he popped in and offered to pick up dinner for the three of you. You finalized the writing and headed home for the night. Bill pulled you to the side just before you left the office, "Y/N, would you uh- mind maybe giving me your uh- number? Just in case, ya know?" he said in a nervous tone while rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, of course." you gave bill a gentle smile while you took his phone and entered your number. He sent you a text to make sure everything was right,

bill: this is william! ;)

You giggled and said goodbye to Bill. On your way home you received yet another text from him,

bill: it was really awesome working with you today. I can't wait for rehearsals. I have some anxiety when it comes to being on live TV so i'm hoping you being there will help ;)

Yet again you got goosebumps across your whole body. This man had a fucking hold on you like no other person. You were trying so hard to not let this interfere with work, but you were unsure of how long you could hold you feelings back. And little did you know, Bill felt the same way.

. . .

Saturday night quickly crept up behind you and sooner than later you were prepping for your first live show. The anxiety that had left you throughout the week reappeared in your mind; slowly picking away at your every thought. You couldn't comprehend how the actors were feeling in that moment; being on live TV seemed terrifying to you and you just hoped no one would ever pitch the idea of you taking part in a sketch. Sweat was beginning to accumulate on your temple, and your eyes darted around the room. You were hopeful for the Stefon appearance tonight - you, Bill and John seemed really confident that it would get a good laugh from the crowd.

As you watched the crew assemble the opening set you caught Bill walking up to you out of the corner of your eye, "Well hey there Hader! Excited?" you said as you glanced at him with a cheerful look. But to your surprise you could tell Bill was not in his usual state. His eyes shone a worried look and his face showed he was in distress.

"Y/N, I'm freaking out. I thought I was going to have my anxiety under control tonight but I'm so nervous. I mean... you're watching, and I feel so much pressure when I do Stefon, and I've just got a lot on my mind tonight-", Bill kept rambling on when you stopped him, "Bill, why are you nervous that i'm here?", quickly Bills worried look turned into a flustered look as his cheeks became rosy, "I-uh, I just want to make sure I do a good job in front of you, ya know? and make sure I tell the awesome jokes you wrote the best I can.."

You reached up and softly touched Bills shoulder, "don't worry Hader, you're going to do great and I'm going to be right here cheering you on". The tenseness in Bills body relaxed and he took a deep breath, "Thank you, Y/N. I really appreciate you" he said and leaned in to give you a loving hug.

Keep your shit together Y/N. Keep your cool!

. . .

You proudly watched Bill while you stood with John. You could hear John almost deviously laughing as you glanced over to him; he was changing the upcoming cue card spontaneously, "John? What the hell are you doing?" You said with concern, as you knew Bill was already feeling anxious. John let you know that sometimes he would change the cue cards last minute to make Hader break. And to your amazement Bill broke in the most perfect way; the crowd fell into a fit of laughter.

As soon as Bill was finished on stage he ran right to you and engulfed you in his arms, "Seeing you laugh throughout the sketch made me get through it" he whispered into your ear. At first you body stiffened, but when you heard those words come out of Bill's mouth you felt your body melt and you became comfortable in his arms. You tightened your grip around bills waist, "I am so glad, Hader". The two of you stood like that until you noticed the crew were giving you looks, so Bill went on his way to get out of costume.

I literally cannot hold back these feelings anymore. I would be crazy to not tell him how I feel. That hug? What he said? There's no way he doesn't feel the same... Valentine's day is coming up, would it be too corny for me to tell him?

. . .

As the ending credits were rolling, you watched the cast wave goodbye on the stage. In the past few days you had managed to make friends with more of the cast. Someone you had an instant connection with was Kristen. She approached you right after the end of the show, "So we're all going out to the bar afterwards," but she was cut off by Bill and John walking up to the two of you. "Well I guess you two can be invited tonight also; we're all gonna go out for some drinks at that one bar around the corner."

You noticed John nudged Bill and the two of them look at each other for a second, "Yeah i'll join!" said John, "I think i'm going to pass tonight, just feeling a bit tired", Bill followed with. You were disappointed but you couldn't show your feelings. You said goodbye to Bill and made your way out of the building with Kristen.

What does that mean?

. . .

The bar was far nicer than any bar you had gone to before, even the ones you had performed stand up in. You were excited to spend some time with the team outside of the studio. Things were always so overwhelming and time crunched at work that it truly didn't allow you to get to know each other better. Kristen proceeded to order the group a round of shots and you ordered your favourite drink.

You were genuinely looking forward to celebrating tonight; you were surrounded by people who wanted the same thing out of life as yourself, people who were loving, people who were supportive. "You've already been such a great addition to the team, Y/N!" exclaimed Kristen, "Cheers!". The group of you took your shots and you began to celebrate the night.

After a possible few to many drinks, you checked your phone; the clock read "2:43 am". Oh my god, how is it so late already? You looked around the table at your team members... John was chatting with Fred and Seth about something that happened backstage earlier, while Kristen, Andy and Keanan had their own conversation going as well. You had your head propped on your hand as you leaned on the table. The bar was still surprisingly loud for the time it was. You were unsure of whether or not you wanted to stay.

When suddenly an idea popped into your head. Maybe not a great idea, but it was something your drunken mind was wanting to do; you took out your phone and pulled up Bill's contact...

Y/N: hey hader, I don't know if you're up still but could you come grab me from the bar?

You sat nervously waiting for his response. In the meantime you got your bill and paid for your drinks. Kristen noticed you gathering your things, "You heading out soon hun?" You smiled at her, "Yeah, i'm pretty tired and I want to take advantage of the day off tomorrow". You gave a few of your castmates a hug goodbye and made your way to the exit.

As you were nearing the door you felt a vibration in your pocket. When you pulled out your phone you saw that Bill was calling you,

"Y/N, where are you at right now? Are you ok?"

You could tell he was concerned.

"Everything is fine Bill, I was just hoping you could maybe pick me up from the bar? I don't want to walk home and I didn't really get the chance to talk to you after the show today. I know it's late and this might be really stupid but oh well! I am already on the phone with you.."

There was a nervousness to your voice, but you didn't hold back.

"I'll be there in 15"

. . .

You waited anxiously outside. You didn't want to go back into the bar, fearing that everyone would be confused as to why you were coming back. All of a sudden you saw a car pull up; the passenger window rolled down and you were met with Bill's handsome face, "C'mon get in! You look freezing!". He was right - the rigid temperature of the New York winter was slicing against your skin. You were looking forward to the warmth of Bill's car, and his presence.

The second you sat down in Bill's car the words starting rushing out of your mouth, "Bill, I like you. I like you more than friends. I know we barely know each other but I feel so connected to you already. And the hug you gave me after you got off stage just felt so right. I know you probably think i'm crazy but I had to get this off my chest," you said switching between looking forward and looking at him.

Bill sat there in shock without saying anything, which made you worried about being so honest with him. Finally he snapped out of his daze, "I- I like you too, Y/N. Right from the moment I met you. The way your eyes sparkle, the way you laugh at every joke I make even if it sounds stupid. You are everything I could ask for."

You leaned in to kiss Bill and as your lips connected you felt you world explode. His hands slowly made their way to your face, gently cupping your cheeks while tracing patterns. The both of you soaked in the moment. Bill pulled away keeping his one had on your face, "Would you like me to drop you off at home? Or would you maybe want to come stay at mine?"

You had to think for a second, but at this point you just wanted to be wrapped in his arms underneath a warm blanket, "I'd love to come stay at yours".

The two of you made your way to Bills. He kept his arm wrapped around you as you made your way to his apartment door. You sat down your book bag as you entered, already feeling comfortable. "Make yourself at home." Bill said to you with a warm smile, "Follow me". He lead you to his bedroom where he grabbed a t-shirt of his as well as some sweatpants.

You sat on the bed rubbing your temples; the alcohol was beginning to catch up to you and you felt a migraine coming on. Bill noticed, "Let me grab you some water and some advil. Here, put these on and get comfortable in bed." He left the room and came back a few minutes later with a cup of cold water and some advil.

Bill's heart fluttered when he saw you bundled up in his clothes, sat on his bed with your knees pulled to your chest. She's so beautiful. He knew from the second that you called him earlier that something would happen tonight. He wasn't quite sure what, but he was so thankful his phone woke him up. His love was already growing for you and he was glad he could take care of you.

You took the advil and drank some water while Bill undressed himself and got comfortable. He turned the TV on and crawled into bed next to you. He extended his arm towards you - motioning for you to cuddle into him. And there you were, laying in Bill Hader's arms. You could hear his heartbeat and feel his warmth, "Thanks Hader" you said as you kissed him on the cheek. Before you could say anything else your body became heavy and you quickly drifted off to sleep.

Bill looked down to see you gracefully asleep on his chest. He smiled and placed a kiss on the top of your head. He continued to watch TV until he drifted off to sleep as well.

#bill hader #bill hader fanfic #bill hader imagine #bill hader one shot #bill hader x reader #bill hader fic #bill hader snl #i love bill hader #bill hader is a top

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Turnsgiving 2022 Day 6: Hot Takes

Simcoe should not have been the villain, and the show would have worked perfectly well without one.

Ironically, and I fully concede that, it was the character of Simcoe who prompted me to watch beyond the pilot episode. Thriving on trouble, the pale-eyed, red-haired menace to society who presumably mistook the Geneva Convention for a personal bucket list had grown on me as the, as I felt then, only compelling character.

The plot improved after having navigated the rocky waters of the pilot, but my favourite character remained the prissy villain who appeared to have no other raison d'être than to be his terrible worst with every breath he took. By the end of the show, his actions were, of course, explained with a half-baked, historically implausible tragic backstory, and that was that.

Prompted to research Simcoe (could he have been really that bad?), I was surprised not to find a scheming, dastardly man thriving on bloodshed, but a surprisingly sensitive, caring individual who had the wish to use his place in the world not only to step up the ladder of professional and social success, but to also leave a positive legacy; and rather than poisoning his superior officer's horse, the animal-loving Simcoe actually rescued a former war horse and paid the staggering sum of £40 for the horse and his carer to be shipped to England, where Salem, the horse, became a playfellow for the Simcoe-children and was allowed to live out his old age in the pasture.

The real Simcoe was neither violent, nor blue-eyed and red haired, and most of his back story did not add up historically, either. Though tall, but somewhat stout, hazel-eyed, and dark-haired, he looked not one bit the regrettably attractive villain, and certainly did not act like one. While Turn-Simcoe's thriving force was hate and the wish to avenge the death of his father in the Black Hole of Calcutta-incident (which is its own can of worms that I might open sometime if people are interested), his father, not a surgeon but a naval captain, died of pneumonia aboard his ship and his widowed mother arranged a move to Exeter, so as to be nearer her son's godfather Samuel Graves, who did not only prove a loving, involved ersatz parent, but also continued to support his godson emotionally and financially for as long as he lived.

Learning all those things, I asked myself why Simcoe's name was chosen for the, let's face it, fictional villain, and came to the conclusion that perhaps, the show would not have needed a classic embodiment of evil that both sides of the central conflict can loathe equally at all.

One of Turn's weak points is that at heart, while having been marketed as a novel approach to depicting the American Revolutionary War by including the perspectives of people of colour, loyalists and others who had prior to the series only very rarely been depicted in media set during the war, it still is very American at heart.

By the last season, sympathetic figures whose allegiance is not with the US are rare, or barely to be seen at all; the last episode is all Yorktown and Yankee Doodle, while e. g. the story of the enslaved informant Abigail, a central character from season one on, and her escape to Canada are merely alluded to in the closing monologue.

The series, naturally vying for a viewership (with a new season of GoT at the time, no less), at last fawned patriotically-minded American audiences a little too greatly to truly bring something new and revolutionary to the table.

What would have been compelling to see is an approach to the period that does not pick a side narratively; loyalists and pro-American characters (and the members of the respective militaries representing their interests) could have been depicted as equally (un-)sympathetic and receive equal screen time. The plot could have followed them trying to achieve what they think is the right decision for the country they live in, and thus, how they, not by personal enmity but by historical circumstance and inevitability, become each other's enemies without necessarily having any other (personal) differences.

Throw in the Hewlett/Strong romance and tell the marketing team not to falsely advertise the series as a faithful retelling of history but a historically inspired drama and that's a somewhat new, historically as well as narratively intriguing approach to the time period.

#turnsgiving2022 #turn amc #turn washington's spies #john graves simcoe #18th century

[cluzi]

So, it seems like this summer was for discovering last decade's successful shows which at the time I failed to aknowledge, for some reason.

It was Masters of Sex's turn, this time, and believe me, I know I'm late. I've been lovingly smiling at Michael Sheen's face ever since the Blessed Tennant-Sheen Blending happened, but I've always been more of a David Tennant girl so I wrongfully didn't bother to dig deeper in Michael's work before. But I KNOW how good he is: Staged was literally a bright light in the dark and that man is so good at expressing rage, I fucking love him okay?

At first I thought the emotional leap from the Pilot to the second episode was a bit sudden? I loved the strictly professional and detached Masters, totally focused on getting this very important project approved. I was intrigued by the curiosity that Virginia (who was so unashamed and resolute in that Pilot!) ignited in him. Why the hell does he start feeling confused towards her right away? And why does she appear "docile" and moved by guilt at once? I was like that monkey meme rising their arms. But this was just my little initial confusion, I guess?

While watching it I was also reading The Clitoral and the Vaginal Woman by Carla Lonzi and at some point she quotes Masters and Johnson, acknowledging their remarkable takes on women's sexuality. It was such a nice coincidence!

Feminist essays have long explained to us that especially straight sex is based on patriarchal approaches. Science didn't know that women (usually) don't orgasm with vaginal penetration. Men believed that their way of having an orgasm also applied to women. This should explain why it took us so long to understand certain things about ourselves: we weren't seen as the other totally different side of the population, so our input didn't matter. Masters and Johnson kinda changed that by approaching to sex in a purely biological way, for once (I realize I might sound like I agree with terf teory but I do not! I align with intersectional feminism). So their work was actually really important.

Watching the show I felt like actresses' bodies were definitely exploited. And that narratively most of the storyline evolves around Bill's (selfish and manipulatory) needs and purposes...I mean it's called Masters of sex, I get it. But I loved Lizzy Caplan as well, she's so talented, I didn't know she was such a good actress! Why don't I see these people around, more?? Their chemistry was so on point!

Also: Caitlin FitzGerald bringing character development with such grace!!!! And Jeremy Strong being more sad puppy than ever!!!!! Even Ashley Zukerman, at some point. Oh, my Succession heart.

There were moments where things went too far, in my opinion, but sometimes the cuteness would overwhelm me! I will take scenes like the Love Speech with me. I mean. Look how cute they were!

I'm just sorry the show wasn't given the opportunity to go on, there were a lot of things yet to explore and unfold. It's kinda bittersweet, when you get to the end.

#masters of sex #michael sheen #lizzy caplan #masters and johnson #bill masters #virginia johnson #staged #mean girls #jeremy strong #caitlin fitzgerald #david tennant

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #173

Animedia 4/2017, Otsuka Manabu's interview

Part 1.

Mappa's producer, Otsuka Manabu explains:

The charm of Yuri!!! on ICE

　The CEO of Mappa, the anime studio that produced Yuri!!! on ICE, and its producer, Otsuka Manabu, talks about popularity and charm of Yuri!!!, as well as about Mappa's future.

The story and characters reverberated in fans' hearts

The event which took place on February 11th was a huge success, but what do you think of Yuri!!!'s popularity?

To be honest, when I first got this project from Yamamoto Sayo and even when we started the production, I couldn't really expect that it would become this popular. It was an original anime after all and we simply focused on making it as good as we could.

Then did you feel the results of your hard work?

There were a few stages. First, when we revealed the PV. I felt that female fans were really looking forward to watching this anime. After that, I thought "Now it started!", when I saw fans' response after the first episode aired. I really could see that with my own eyes how much attention Yuri!!! was receiving. After that, after the Blu-rays and DVDs were released and we've got the sales data, once again I realized how popular this show is. Seeing the response to the last event and how much enthusiasm there was each time all kinds of merch went on sale, I really feel that yes, Yuri!!! has become a very popular anime.

[Notes: Whoa, long time no notes! The previous translation about music was tough~ this kind of artist x professional speak is soooo difficult to translate 🤕

Nevertheless, a huge chunk of Yuri!!!'s story is told through music, so it's nice they did that commentary! There's another one in the second guidebook, so this topic will appear again in the future~✨

This time, a not-so-long, but very interesting interview with the man that according to some is to blame for what happened to Yuri!!! I don't personally think so, but if we were to study the "history" of this show and the fandom, there is certainly a few very interesting trends visible in this interview. The first one you can already see in this part is "the female audience" that was the first thing that he mentioned here and, in general, mentions quite often in his Yuri!!! interviews.

You probably know that from English fandom, too, but male anime fans often share this worldview that general popularity, popularity among men is simply popularity, but popularity among women and especially fujo-popularity just doesn't count as much, it's like... a second-class popularity. That's 1000% my personal opinion, but his interviews remind me a bit of this kind of thinking.]

#yuri on ice #yoi translations #yuri on ice translation

[burnwater13]

Illustration of Luke Skywalker entering the access way to the bridge of Moff Gideon's ship. The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 8, The Rescue.

Grogu didn’t like to brag, but he knew Luke was going to find them and help them. How could he not? Grogu had told Luke that he needed his help and why. On that basis Luke agreed to come and help. It was really as simple as that. 

Now, that’s not to say that Grogu knew that Moff Gideon would be kidnapping him and that his dad would have to do everything within his power to find and rescue him. He hadn’t expected anything like that to happen. Nope. 

He had simply needed another Jedi to join him at Ossus and explain to Din Djarin in nice simple words that there wasn’t a Jedi Order anymore. Ahsoka had left that door open when she told Din Djarin about the seeing stone on Ossus and all that. Grogu needed someone else to tell the Mandalorian that Grogu couldn’t be returned to his ‘kind’ because his ‘kind’ didn’t have a place to be returned to.

Grogu guessed that was why, when the rest of them noticed the X-Wing, they were worried. Even frightened. They didn’t know about Luke and they couldn’t understand how just one person could make enough of a difference. Which was pretty silly because each of them, in their own ways, had made a big difference as an individual. 

He would have been happy to tell them not to worry and put their weapons down because, come on, they were watching the same monitors as he was watching. If the ‘mysterious’ caped figure could cut down all those dark troopers, then they didn’t actually have much of a chance fighting against them. But Grogu knew it was Luke. He could sense the strength of the Force within the younger man. He wasn’t worried.

Grogu had turned to his dad and explained that Luke was okay. That he was the person Grogu had contacted on Ossus and everything would be okay. He was actually pretty surprised that Din Djarin had listened so well and understood him. After all, the Mandalorian was the one who told the rest of them to put their weapons down when Luke was literally at the door. Grogu had been very happy about that. Din Djarin was doing better at connecting with him and that was very gratifying.

Of course, that being happy with his dad understanding him only lasted about thirty more seconds. Why? Because that’s how long it took for his dad, the fink, to hand him over to Luke! 

“Are you a Jedi?” 

Come on Dad! Of course he’s a Jedi. And he’s going to tell you…

“Come, little one.”

What? No! 

First, enough with the ‘little one’ thing. He has a name. He told Luke his name when he first contacted him. What the heck? Did he forget it already? It’s not like Grogu is some sort of hard name to say.

And instead of his dad saying something like, “Thanks for helping us. Much appreciated. We have friends to visit on Tatooine”, Din Djarin said, “He doesn’t want to go with you.”

Well of course he didn’t. He, being Grogu. He appreciated the fancy work with the lightsaber and using the Force to crush the energy sources of the dark troopers. Who wouldn’t? It was professional courtesy to be impressed by that. But none of that meant he wanted to go with him. Why would he? He was perfectly happy with his assignment with the Mandalorian.

“He wants your permission.”

Luke! No! You were supposed to talk Din Djarin out of that! 

Just another thing Luke had forgotten. Sheesh! Grogu sighed at both of them. He hadn’t even finished training the Mandalorian. How could he take on a student like Luke? There was so much to teach him. 

Starting with, when someone instructs you to say ‘Sorry, pal, I can’t take time out of my busy schedule right now. Maybe you should finish your course of learning first and when he’s ready for a new student, he’ll contact me and we’ll set something up? Okay? Good’, that’s what you are actually supposed to say. You are not supposed to give a Mandalorian a lecture about the importance of training being the key to skills development and control. 

Mandalorians already know that. And they love it. They thrive on it. Along with that whole pledging your life for the other person’s safety thing. They love that too. It’s cost them no end of pain and suffering, but it’s who they are, so they can be sucked right in with that. Grogu was overwhelmed by how much he’d have to teach Luke if this was really their starting point. Basic listening and doing what I tell you. Uff.

He thought his dad understood that. Just a little bit. After all, he promised that they’d see each other again and then took his helmet off and all that. But no! Even after the teary eyes, Din Djarin still handed him off to Luke. 

‘Don’t be afraid’

Afraid? Of what? The boredom? The tedious schedule? The repetition? Training a Jedi wasn’t for the faint hearted or the impatient. Grogu had spent half of his lifetime being trained by them. He knew all about it. 

Training Luke wouldn’t be the worst thing that ever happened to him. But what about the Mandalorian? How could he just walk away from his training? He had the Darksaber now! How was he ever going to learn how to use it without Grogu teaching him? Was this really the best way to serve his friends? They hadn’t even gotten to the part about choosing your path and the light and the dark. That was just asking for trouble.

Then R2-D2 had rolled over to him and told him that it would okay. Grogu had plenty of time to teach them both the lessons they needed to learn. One by sharing his presence and one though his absence. That seemed to be the way humans learned and R2 had trained a lot of them. R2 also promised Grogu that whenever he wanted to take up teaching the Mandalorian again, R2 would be happy to take him to his padawan. 

Grogu saw the wisdom in that. The Force obviously wanted Grogu to spend time training Luke and that’s what he needed to do. He just hoped that it would keep a sharp eye on the Mandalorian, in the mean time. Grogu didn’t want to have to rush back just to save him from giant critter. He should have learned that lesson already. 

Luke Skywalker entering the bridge of Moff Gideon's ship. The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 8, The Rescue.

#calendar prompt a day #the mandalorian #grogu #din djarin #Luke Skywalker

[ashlingiswriting]

I know It’s 500 or less but your ‘he is not dead.’ piece awakened something in me. the prose was so striking and the last bit of ‘write a fucking will’ was chilling to the bone. tell me everything all the little details you could possibly spare I cannot watch carrillo’s last episode without thinking about that fic honestly

Thank you! 🥰 and sorry it took so long for me to respond.

fic commentary below!

He is not dead, and so you laugh. Sudden and ugly, like someone ripped it out of you, all teeth no relief, God, and in public too—in public too. A closed door to this room of half a dozen, but anywhere your President is, that’s in public. You can feel his eyes on your now, all their eyes, their concern, and for a moment, you can feel that you have slipped on the curb, but you’ve not yet smashed your nose into the concrete.

For this person and in this world, their first reaction to monumental good news—good news both personally and professionally—sounds like joy but doesn't feel like it. Honestly, I have way more thoughts on this reader character than made it explicitly onto the page. I feel like this introduction to them characterizes them as someone not accustomed to good news and not accustomed to showing emotion. Aaaaand of course I wanna tip my hat to the Carrillo/Reader dynamic, which ends up being ambiguous in some ways (in terms of what it actually is—is it a full on affair? is it one sided?) but completely unambiguous in terms of Reader's attachment to him.

For a moment, all you can think is, he is not dead, and in the crackle of the radio you can hear the bright savage clarion ring of a trumpet call. We are here, we are hunting. The dogs have been set loose and their slavering jaws hang half-open as they skim the wet cold ground.

This reader has a lot to do with the political class of Colombia at the time, the elite who all sort of married each other and went to the same schools and became politicians/journalists/policymakers/writers and idk, obviously I'm making this observation as an outsider, but it seemed to me in reading about many of these figures that on one hand, shit was very real in the sense that many of them died due to their involvement in politics. On the other hand, they were just doing what their families had been doing for years previously, which is try to increase their power and exert their influence over the country. In that sense I wanted Reader to parallel Carrillo in the sense that they were very ambitious and had a vision of what they were doing, but also I as a person don't....idk. Reader is probably involved in some fucked up stuff, or at least providing cover for it.

HOW DID I GET HERE.

Oh yeah! The vibes on Reader. That's why I chose the trumpets and hunting as a metaphor, it feels simultaneously like a class signifier and also visceral and ruthless, with a note of vicious glee.

Laid out in neat photocopies, one for each person, is an obituary for Horacio Carrillo, written out by one of Escobar’s more eloquent lackeys, possibly even Vélez. It’s like her, the language. Nasty and undeniably elegant, a letter written in cursive to come here and have your teeth knocked out one by one with a little hammer. It has all the details, the time and the place, even the name of the sniper who killed Carrillo—who was meant to kill him.

The obituary thing I took from history, although I jazzed it up a little. Escobar really did send an obituary to one (or more than one?) of the people he was trying to intimidate. It's been a hot second since I revisited the research so idk which person it was but I think it was a journalist from El Tiempo???

Anyway I just found it chilling.

Sniper shots are a tricky business. God bless a sudden lift of wind. God bless the widow of the man who had been standing beside him, the woman who has taken that bullet that was meant for you. It makes you lightheaded, all the things she has taken from you, the things she will have to do that you will not. The funeral arrangements, the thank you cards, the handshakes with his living friends, trying not to resent them for living. The low crushing sensation behind the breastbone when she has to break the news to his mother, fearful that if her grief cries out unchecked, it might break forth something worse in you—this is not your burden. Your shoulders are as empty as they have ever been.

I feel like Reader's seen a lot of this up close and personal with some colleagues and friends, which is why their vision of the future they just escaped is so detailed.

But then, wait. You are not his wife, either.

The others are staring at you. None of them are fools. Distantly, some part of you is cataloguing this, as it catalogues all threats. President, Vice Minister of Justice, hell, even a General—especially the General, come to think of it, for he once commanded Carrillo in direct operations—all of them have seen you laugh, and they will not misunderstand it, and they will not forget it. But they are all pragmatists, and what’s one minor outburst of unacceptable emotion compared to your day-to-day utility as right hand to the Minister of National Defense? Perhaps if you shrink in apology, they will accept it as a slip and investigate no further.

You do not shrink. You bare your teeth, still weightless, the joy of it blinding every other consideration, as if you’ve just stared at the sun.

Reader has absolutely no call to be this personally emotionally invested in Carrillo's survival, and their reaction is so notably bizarre that it indicates inappropriate emotions to the extent that if they don't steer themselves back onto course, it might even impact their job, because the last thing these guys need is two key players in the drug war having an affair. But...skskskskssksk Reader's actually feeling the relief now, and the weird vicious joy, and it's a high they're not used to handling either. So we're entering big Fuck It territory.

“They wrote an obituary,” you say, remnants of laughter running through it. “When will they learn?” The President exchanges a glance with Eduardo, and you know, you know, you will hear about this before the end of the day. But even with the joy subsiding, you cannot bring yourself to care. “Before you come for Carrillo,” you say, “write a fucking will.”

I can't even lie, the whole fic was written and the whole Reader character's personality was reverse engineered so I could have Reader say that line and mean it.

Random last thought: I left the nature of Reader's relationship ambiguous on purpose. I think what matters most is that Reader and Carrillo are so similar in their drive and their emotion and the utter commitment of their enmity to their enemies and loyalty to their friends that even though Carrillo doesn't literally show up in the fic, I hope the small-r reader, the person reading, understands that Carrillo and Reader have a sort of unspoken sympathy and understanding with each other whenever they work together, and that that's the basis of Reader's attachment, and.

And they'd be absolutely terrifying people if they were real and I probably wouldn't like them, honestly a;lsdkfjajsdkfj but because they're my characters, I love those vicious bastards very, very much. <3333

#correspondence #anon #he is not dead. #ask games

[primal-slayer]

 Brian Krause talks Charmed career

In today's Sci-Fi Blast From the Past, actor Brian Krause looks back at his work on the long-running WB supernatural TV series Charmed and playing Leo Wyatt.

It was back in April that filming on the hit supernatural series Charmedcame to its natural conclusion after eight years, but for actor Brian Krause, who played Leo Wyatt, his involvement in the series isn’t quite over yet. He spent this Monday morning in late August in a studio recording commentary for the eighth season Charmed DVD release, in particular his character’s penultimate episode, Vaya Con Leos.

“Me, Brad Kern [executive producer] and Cameron Litvak, the writer of that episode, have provided background commentary for the 45 minutes of that story,” explains Krause. “It’s basically the three of us recapping the show’s eight years on the air as well as talking about Vaya Con Leos**, the birth of the episode, what it was about, the emotions that went along with making it, and how it could have been the last time we saw Leo. It was wonderful to see Brad and Cameron again and be able to share our thoughts about the whole experience.”**

“What probably sticks out most in my mind about my first time stepping onto the Charmed set was the nervous energy I had of being around Shannen, Alyssa and Holly in a professional venue,” recalls Krause. “I’d known them for a couple of years, but we had never worked together. So I just remember being very nervous because they knew me as their friend Brian, but had never seen me act in person. There I was now having to kind of step up to the plate and wanting to impress them and yet get the job done and not have to worry so much about what the girls might think.

“I’ll never forget that day, though, and the look in Shannen’s eyes of, ‘Now don’t mess up.’ That’s what I remember most; how professional she was about it all and how good she wanted the series to be. She put the ‘pressure’ on to make it a success because she took a great deal of pride in Charmed and the work. Shannen just had a different way of going about things than Alyssa and Holly. It was a positive one, though, and it stuck with me for the whole run of the series, so I give kudos to Shannen for her professionalism.

“When it came to playing Leo in those early episodes, I guess one of the first things I had to get used to was working in the Sci-Fi realm. I mean, I’d done [the feature film] Sleepwalkers a few years before, but that was the extent of my experience in that genre. Also, I had the challenge of playing a real guy who was not quite a real guy. On top of that there was the great unknown. Was Leo going to stick around, or was he just a fleeting love interest for one of the girls? So the trick was to try to be likable enough for the audience to want me to stay and also be a good enough actor for the show’s leads to want to keep me around.

“The dynamic that I especially liked early on was that my character had this secret that no one really knew about. As the story went on, Leo was magical and then he wasn’t for a while. At one point, I wasn’t even sure if he was good or bad. If you were bad on Charmed you got killed, but if you were good that was a good sign. In the beginning, though, no one really knew what Leo was, so for me the question was do I play him as dark, light or slightly ambivalent? In the end we went for ambivalent, and that seemed to work,” he chuckles.

After three years of Charmed, Shannen Doherty decided to leave the series. Her character of Prue was killed off, and in season four, the Halliwell’s half-sister/half-Whitelighter Paige Matthews (Rose McGowan) was welcomed into the Charmed One’s fold. “The show’s dynamic changed quite a bit in year four,” says Krause. “I’ve talked with a lot of fans about it, some of whom stopped watching, while others started watching for the first time.

“Shannen’s character was a straightforward, demon butt-kicker and she and her sisters were hardcore witches in the first three seasons. When Rose joined the show, everything kind of lightened up a bit. The Paige character was very quirky and fun-loving, and I think by virtue of bringing her in to replace Prue, it did change Holly’s and Alyssa’s characters and dialed up their emotional levels on the show. So we went from being this purely demon butt-kicking show to one where it allowed us to show a more personal side of these girls’ lives.

“As far as Leo was concerned, he didn’t interact much with Prue, but he did with Paige, especially at the beginning. Being that she was part Whitelighter, my character sort of showed her the ropes. I was pleased about that because it involved me more in the storyline as well as brought out more of Leo’s big brother attitude with the girls.”

“Overall I was happy with how the Leo/Piper relationship was written, but I also think it developed somewhat quickly,” says Krause. “They were dating and then all of a sudden they were married and before you knew it they had two kids. In real life I suppose that eight years is long enough for all that to happen, but in the TV world it seemed like there was some stuff we missed. Events happened off-screen and not in front of the audience, and we would have to explain what people missed in the way of dialogue in the episodes.

“As an actor I always wanted to show more of Leo and Piper together with their family, but after all it was a series about the girls. I was just pleased to have the part I had in the program.”

At the end of season five of Charmed, Leo made the difficult choice to sacrifice his life with Piper and their son Wyatt and became an Elder in order to better help humankind. A couple of years later another omnipotent group called the Avatars showed Leo that they had a better way to change the world into the ultimate utopia, so he joined their ranks. Unfortunately, their plan had one major flaw and it took the The Charmed Ones to set things right. For a while, Leo was able to hide his association with the Avatars, but the Elders eventually found out and he was stripped of his magical powers. How did Krause have to alter his performance to keep up with all these changes in his character’s life?

“There were different emotions I had to play based on Leo’s situation,” notes the actor. “As an Elder, he was like, ‘OK, I’m a pure being. Everything is great. I love life and am in control.’ When Leo went to the other side as an Avatar, it was out of the same core belief, which was his desire for wanting the best for his family and the world. Then when he was made mortal, Leo was bitter at first, but then felt he had finally been set free. So the through-line for my character never changed, but how he reacted was based on his been wronged or righted by the Elders, Avatars, demons, witches, etc.”

When the eighth and final year of Charmed finally rolled around, the WB Network cut back on the show’s budget, which meant that Krause’s work on the series would be limited to half the season. “That was a big shock and it changed my attitude a little bit as well as my passion for the series,” he admits. “However, when I began work on season eight I realized that negativity wasn’t good for me, the audience or the show. So I quickly got over that and decided, ‘Hey, I need to do my best work, whether I’m here for one episode or 22.’

“Season eight was a very emotional one for Leo. There was the ongoing adjustment to being mortal, dealing with his new role as Mr. Mom, and not being able to help out Piper and her sisters as much. Leo felt all those things and perhaps I felt them, too, based on my reduced involvement in the making of the show. So it was all right there and easy for me to play. That was all due to Brad Kern, who was very in-tune with me and the rest of the cast and wrote for our personal emotional levels and how they fit into the show.

“Brad always kept a close eye on all of us and was a big brother or father figure. He never asked us to do anything on the show if he didn’t feel we couldn’t emotionally handle it at certain periods in our lives. Brad made the right call each time and I thank him for every opportunity he afforded me in season eight to be as natural and believable as possible when playing Leo.”

Thanks to some clever cost-cutting moves on Brad Kern’s part, he was able to bring the Leo character back for the Charmed finale Forever Charmed. “Eight years of a series is a long time and there was a lot of reflection going on and plenty of emotions, especially on the final day of shooting when the Halliwell Manor was blown up,” says Krause. “I think everyone took a moment to stare at the burnt rubble and just couldn’t believe it. It was hard to swallow. The cast and crew really banded together and supported one another in order to get the work done without totally breaking down.”

Krause has no idea what the future holds for him either personally or professionally, but wherever life takes him next, he’ll be bringing with him a part of Charmed. “There are so many things that I learnt from many different people on that show,” he says**. “I grew both as a person and an actor and I’ll always be grateful for that**. We’ll see where I’m at eight years from now. Hopefully I’ll take away some positive elements from that span of time, too.”

#Charmed #brian krause #leo wyatt #piper halliwell #holly marie combs #shannen doherty #alyssa milano #prue halliwell #phoebe halliwell #rose mcgowan #charmed season 2 #charmed season 1 #charmed season 3 #charmed season 4 #charmed season 5 #charmed season 6 #charmed season 7 #charmed season 8

[starseneyes]

i love your spapel metas and analyses so much! keep them coming please!

can i ask you if you are a film or media studies graduate? because your posts are so well thought of and formulated.

Hello, Anon! Thank you so very much, and I'll do my best to keep 'em coming.

My background is incredibly varied, but it definitely all feeds into how I write these.

It all started with Little Rachel growing up on sets. Not only was I a background/bit actor/commercial actress from a young age, but my mother was a hair and makeup artist.

Whenever I was bullied in school, my mom took me on set. And folks there were welcoming. Directors almost always invited me to sit over their shoulders so I could see the monitors. I'd help out at Crafty. I got to run lines with Michael Rooker, once, as he prepped for a scene.

When mom worked on this one 90's show in Wilmington, she was too tired to collate her scripts by the time she got home. I volunteered to stay up and do it, which gave me the opportunity to see how revisions worked.

Sometimes we got advanced copies of episodes, and I'd sit down with my mother to see how they translated from script to screen, and then how the editors changed the advanced copies to the final versions that aired. It was all fascinating to me.

By age 13, I wrote my first screenplay for fun for Star Trek: Voyager. And I was constantly on editing teams and video teams in high school.

At 16, I joined AFTRA as a Voice Over Artist, and made a decent chunk of change doing it until 2008 when things went sideways in the industry. Also, the Studio where I was a contract player changed hands, and the new owner cared more about shareholders than us peons.

In college, I chose to go after Communications, and both my degrees are in it (Bachelors in Communications - Mass Media, Masters in Strategic Communication). But my minor was Film. I directed, edited, story-boarded, wrote, acted, and lit so many projects. Nothing ground-breaking, of course, but I learned a lot in the practicality of it and used my knowledge of growing up on sets to help our work really shine.

I went into Journalism between Freshman and Sophomore year and did that for many years, working in Broadcast and online journalism as a producer and researcher. My first job at 19 in the newsroom was to watch Iraq War and 9/11 footage and mark which parts were airable and which were not.

I transitioned into theater for a decade, there, and my film side took a step back. I've worked so many different jobs and for so many different clients.

Written articles, a cook book, website content, helped with front-end app development, emails, print pieces, etc. Professionally, these days, I'm a Digital Marketer. Been working freelance for 6 years, now.

I dream of writing TV (and I was a finalist with a Pilot of mine in a contest last year), but the reality is that living in Virginia makes my options and opportunities small. Having a Special Needs child makes moving to California without a job lined up pretty impossible.

But, I'm not disheartened. Chances still exist. Someday, perhaps, I'll sell a script. Perhaps, I'll get to act, again, when the time is right.

And in the meantime... I write scripts. I participate in online table reads with friends. I write these Metas and have so much fun using that portion of my brain, again.

Because while I'm so stoked these Metas have been well-received, I'd write them even if nobody read them. I write because I must. Because I love it. And because no matter where my life takes me... these bits and pieces remain a core part of me.

Anyway, that's a long-winded response, but hopefully I didn't offend you since you've made it through the Metas! Again, thank you for reading and asking the question! I wish you well in all you do.

[ailaghast]

i really like the Wheel of Time show, BUT...

i watched the first 2 episodes of S2 and after having watched Game of Thrones since the release of S1, it made me think that the WOT show is lacking something, a kind of a spark that GOT had that the WOT series currently lacks i wasn't quite sure what it was, but i think what it has as a major problem right now is a lack of focus the main plot of WOT is revolving around the Dragon and the Last Battle, Rand and his struggles and accomplishments as the Dragon, and other characters's plotlines revolve around Tar'mon Gaidon as well as a main point, and then they have many many subplots and personal struggles what I think is happening on the WOT show (in my humble, uninformed, very much not professional opinion) is a lack of focus on the main plotline. i didn't mind the suspense over who was the Dragon in S1 because the TV audience needs something to bite down on and to talk about, but now that we already know Rand is the Dragon, the show is still focusing far too little on him we have a lot of focus on other characters's storylines that (as of now), don't seem to be focusing or advancing or establishing the main plot - Mat in prison with Min, Perrin and Loial on Padan Fain's trail and after the Horn of Valere (which included Rand in the books, which makes sense since the Horn of Valere is essential to the Last Battle, but now he's not included anymore), Egwene and Nynaeve and now Elayne training to become Aes Sedai, etc.

episodes 1 and 2 especially I feel spent a lot of time focusing on the events at the White Tower and not nearly enough on Rand. most of the characters don't know Rand is still alive, but we the audience do, so I'm not sure why it took the series in S2 so long to start showing Rand. in the books we spend A LOT more time with Rand from the very beginning, so we're always grounded in his plot as the protagonist and the main plotline

so right now i think the series's focus feels scattered. my husband who only knows WOT through the show said that he feels like "nothing is happening" even though A LOT of things are happening, but my perception as a reader of the series is different because i know exactly what it is building up to and where the plotlines go, but he doesn't, so he has nothing to really focus on or to ground himself in the series, there isn't really a singular thing he can point to and say "yeah that's the most important thing in the series" because it doesn't feel like the series is treating the Dragon plotline as the main plot ofc this might be subject to change in later episodes or future seasons, it might be growing pains until the series finds itself etc, i'm still excited to see where the series goes and i think it holds SO MUCH potential, i just wish it was more focused in these initial seasons so that the viewers always have a guiding star of the main plot while watching other characters's subplots anyway not sure if any of this made any sense but i needed to ramble about it because i cant talk about it at length with my husband due to spoilers lol so i came to bother tumblr about it

#maybe spoilers im not sure

[mollrat101]

I’ve been doing a season 2 re-watch and...I’m just going to say it. 

Deborah’s characterization gets better in the last half of the season, but I’m sorry but I literally don’t understand the character of Deborah I’m watching to be the same one I got to know in season 1. 

Things have just been adding up to the point that I just don’t get it. 

This was one of the most critical reviews of season 2 I remember seeing and this one paragraph about Deborah resonated with me.

“Smart is as sharp and bracingly funny as she was in the first season, but the progression of her personal growth backslides once she discovers Ava’s betrayal in an early episode. Despite a few moments of tenderness, she’s not only the same callous person she was before her relationship with Ava began, but she’s actively more abusive. It’s hard to believe that Ava would continue working for her given Deborah’s continual abuse regardless of their connection as artists. It also robs the show of the pleasure season one gave us by slowly peeling the layers away from this terrible person to reveal how she got the way she is. Instead, she’s just relentlessly cruel and by the time there is a glimmer of growth, the cruelty has gone on so long it’s eroded a lot of the goodwill the character had built up.”

2.04 made Deborah look snobbish and unprofessional when season 1 took pains to explain that she didn’t get that far in her career with that kind of attitude. “A gig’s a gig” after all. And yet she freaks out because she has to perform on a lesbian cruise? Are you not a professional comedian who’s worked for 40 years? But then if you try to excuse it by saying it’s because of her prejudice well that’s still bad because then that means she’s a bigot. And the show never really challenges her for this, so I guess that’s the message we’re left with? I could deal with Deborah’s prejudices if a) the show didn’t seem to try, in theory, to be “progressive” and b) if I thought they were ultimately going to be challenged or explored. 

But 2.04 also made her seem so insecure about her attractiveness and desirability which is something that’s very human and I can understand but seems over the top in the way it’s shown. There could’ve been subtler ways to portray that Deborah worries about her sexual desirability than the lesbian cruise. She just comes off as very openly desperate which...I could work with but the way I see Deborah she tries desperately to hide any feelings of vulnerability like that. @circling-back-to-it-all made a good point that this season is very loud and that includes Deborah’s character and it rings off as discordant with season 1. 

She says that Ted Kennedy is innocent? Yeah it’s a joke, but what are we supposed to learn about Deborah that she’s excusing a rich, privileged man who’s actions got a woman killed? 

It just feels like this season is like “calm down, it’s just a joke” except season 1 also recognized that jokes had meaning. That jokes sometimes revealed truths about the way people think. Take the therapist joke where Deborah tells DJ that “all therapists are pedophiles”. It seems like an outrageous joke until you see where it’s coming from in Deb’s brain. It’s Deb’s way of coping with being raped by her therapist. People have outrageous or seemingly paranoid views (especially Deborah) are explained as being how she’s coped with what she’s endured. 

But the Ted Kennedy joke doesn’t tell us anything deeper about Deb and what it does is very ugly. That apparently she will side with a rich, privileged men who committed wrong because...I don’t know because Deb just excuses people like that? Which wasn’t really a thing in season 1. Deborah usually either tried to go along with the awful biases of her industry in order to fit in and she’s internalized it or she reluctantly tried to keep her mouth shut in order to not create waves. 

Or is the joke trying to help us see that she agrees with the worldview that privileged people like her should be excused from their actions because of outside forces? That’s the feeling that I’m getting from this season. Deborah isn’t an underdog (which to be fair, she was never completely), she is a rich, privileged asshole and she’s damn proud of it. In a season where she also sues her less wealthier employee and threatens her with financial ruin, it’s not very charming, it just makes her look like a jerk. 

Deborah being a jerk wouldn’t be a problem if it was consistent. If I was always supposed to think that and never read anything deeper about her actions, then I could handle it. But that’s not the expectations they set up for me in season 1. They seemed like they wanted me to understand why this woman is the way she is. This is a woman who’s lashing out is based on self-protection and trauma. Her privilege is both a way to try to shield herself from harm and yet has also made her feel empty and not made her feel healed. This is a woman who came from nothing so, while I’m not trying to say she doesn’t have rich person’s entitlement, she also knows very well what it’s like to be at the bottom and sympathizes with those who society tends to shove to the side. 

But season 2 hasn’t focused on Deborah’s internal world very much and so now I’m shut off of understanding a lot of her actions. It just makes hard for me to sustain my sympathy for her. 

I feel like the show wants me to like this person and, in season 1, I very much did. But season 2...it’s a mixed bag. There are parts I like and feel like the character I thought I knew and then it feels like someone else. A different character who belongs in a different show and a lot of people have pointed out how season 2 kind flipped genres on us. 

It’s not that there’s nothing to like about season 2, but it doesn’t live up to the idea if you were going into this season hoping to see more of what you loved in season 1. And I fully admit, I was. 

#hacks hbo #hbo hacks #hacks #hacks thoughts #deborah vance

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: 7/3/22AM  (In which I babble about various things including Columbo)

Saturday Head Millennial needed a ride to work, so we folded in more than half of the Wednesday errands.  The place that sells Thai basil starts had Thai basil starts!  (It's my favorite basil).  I also got a bunch of fresh fruit and pre-marinated tofu there.  (Yes, I know how to marinate tofu, but it would require me to know how long I can stand up and how much pain I'm in 2-3 days in advance.  You see the problem).  I'm still needing a lot of protein for recovery and many of the easier protein things, I can't manage without a working oven or reliable burners.  (I can boil water and make rice, for example, even if it shut off the other night often enough it took twice as long.  I can't do anything delicate where the burner shutting off at random intervals for increasing long amounts of time as the circuits deteriorate.)

We also dropped off some of my comic collection to sell off, and hit the cheapie grocery.  (We were going to take the box Wednesday, but things happened, so we hid it under the in person forage equipment in my trunk.  There's a lot of car theft around here lately, but I figure no one is stealing my ancient on it's last legs clunker from the '90's from way back were I park it when there are so many significantly better options in view from the street.)  Poor Tavy spent most of Friday night and early morning freaking out because squirrel wasn't there so he couldn't see that he was all right after the explosions.  (Squirrel gave him and extra long pet in the morning, but really he wanted him at 11:45 or so when he came out of hiding.)  Having his beloved head Millennial over to putter about and do routine things really helped even the poor wee button out.

We can one small distant explosion while Livia was looking for Lawn Bunnies at 10PM.  She popped here head out from behind the curtain and Looked at me like a character from the office.  I adore her. She was not best pleased, but they do okay with an occasional small distant bang.  The longer professional barrage on the 4th out on the Bay generally makes them nervous, but they usually recover quickly when it is over.  It was having loud and close sporadic barrage for over an hour from inside the complex horseshoe that did their nerves in Friday.

When Squirrel left for work Saturday night, I was watching Columbo.  When Squirrel got back from work Sunday morning, I was watching Columbo.  Squirrel: O.o  Why are you watching Columbo?!?  Me: Because I've never actually seen it and he's been having a minor internet resurgence that last couple of years.  So we talked about Columbo for a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I knew perfectly well who Columbo was.  He was a whole thing when I was a kid, and there were commercials and references and things, but I had only ever seen that actor play Columbo playing Bogart playing a gay Sam Spade parody in an unfortunately super racist, ageist, ablist etc. movie with a lot of shockingly high end acting talent in it from the '70's.  (Even at the age of six when it came out, I was like: Should that white guy be playing a racist Asian stereotype in yellow face?  Should they be mocking that other guy’s accent?  Also, I was really incensed by that massive logic fail with the Sam Spade parody character.  It's funny, I was just savvy enough at that age to get that the guy Colombo was playing was closeted, even though I didn't have vocabulary for it, but not savvy enough to work out that probably the adults thought making a Bogart tough guy gay was funny, instead of weirdly cool and humanizing, which was how tiny me read it.  I say the Watsonian homophobia, but not the Doylist homophobia at six, basically).

Any way, we had a really good discussion about Columbo, which he HAD seen back in the day.  We talked about the things we liked: probably autistic, working class hero's dogged pursuit of rich smug murderers, quietly tormenting the rich smug murderers over the course of the episode, using the arrogance and classist assumption of the rich smug murderers against them, etc.; and the things we didn't like: Real cops using his soft interrogation techniques to trick and coerce innocent people into incriminating themselves out here in meat space, glorifying cops going on their guts and then arranging a confession to match, etc..  I absolutely get the appeal and I really am enjoying them; at the same time, while watching I periodically find myself telling the cats "All cops are bastards, even Columbo," because he is doing something that is not okay.

Apparently Squirrel had seen a lot of cop shows from the '70's as a kid.  He's a few years older than me, so remembers more TV things from the first half of the decade than I do just generally.  I only remembered about half the shows he mentioned even existing, and the only one I'd actually seen was Kojak, and only because the reruns were one of a handful of things on in the middle of the night in the era before cable when I was too sick to sleep or read.  Given my high fever on these occasions I didn't retain much.  (This is also why I watched a lot of Beverly Hillbillies.  Even I wouldn’t watch Green Acres though, no matter how sick I was.)  My parents liked mystery shows, but not cop dramas, and this was the era of everyone in the house has to watch the same thing or not watch at all and you had to watch a thing when it was on.  (They did watch Kolchak: The Night Stalker, because my dad would watch anything with monsters in it, basically; and they watched Hill Street Blues, like most people when it was new because there had been nothing like it before; and Barney Miller, which was transformative when it was new.  They weren't into things like Kojak or Ironside.  Columbo looks like my Mom's taste, but on the edge of it, and maybe it was on opposite something they did watch.  idk.)

I still think it's funny that given how iconic Columbo was in it's day, in my head he's always been that guy who played gay Bogart credibly.  (Yes, I've seen him in other things.  I watch a lot of old movies.  His voice is distinctive, but childhood impressions stick, and pretty much anything with a queer character in it got my attention in the vast TV desert of my childhood, even if what was going on was not okay from a modern perspective). idk.

#Columbo #Murder By Death #Tavy #Livia #Personal