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#Imagine how Wynne feels

enasallavellan · 2 months

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Gif Convo Monday

Wynne: Wait, how old are you, Alistair?

Alistair, proudly: 20!

Wynne: ...alright how old are all of you?

Leliana: 24

Serafina: Oh, me too!

Leliana: Really?

Zevran: 25 - ha! The oldest of the young!

Alistair: Wait, you're older than-

Morrigan: 22.

Shale: You don't ask a woman her age.

Wynne:

Shale: It's rude.

Wynne:

Wynne: You're all children.

Wynne and Sten:

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ibrithir-was-here · 8 months

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How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??

Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.

Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.

But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.

Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame

Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:

youtube

#tanith lee #fantasy authors #fantasy books #70s fantasy #80s fantasy #90s fantasy #british fantasy #British writers #i dunno how to tag i just want this woman to be remembered darn it #Youtube #i hope its ok to tag the authors mentioned #not trying to spam but like also want the fan crossover to get people interested in her again?#i dont know why i'm taking this so personally xD #neil gaiman #diane duane #terry pratchett #clive barker #diana wynne jones #vampire snow white

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 9 months

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TAKE CARE OF YOU [8A]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 12,502

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: part one of two! hope you enjoy, if you do let me know your fav part 😘]

Chapter Specific Warning: mentions of attempted sexual assault (not reader), mild violence, mentions of past significant violence, gambling

08: I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE TROUBLE

"the right person for you will be protective of your heart like it's second nature to them." -bliss

The Wynn resort in Las Vegas was a curved bronze hotel right on the strip. The hot Nevada sun seemed to make the building glow, and it only got prettier once you stepped inside. The entire space had glassy, marble floors decorated with splashes of color. Gardens sat inside with trees wrapped in lights and figures of flowers stood out. The atrium itself had spheres of flowers hanging from the trees and you found yourself in awe of the space. Joel had been right. You really liked this place.

“Sugar.” You turned at Joel’s voice, tearing your eyes away from the view, and when you spotted Joel he stood a few feet away with his phone lifted and aimed in your direction. An amused grin flickered across your features as he hummed at his phone. “Hm, yeah. That’s a keeper.”

“You took a picture of me?” You chuckled.

Joel closed the space so he was beside you. “How could I not? You’re gorgeous.” You felt your cheeks heat at his words. Joel stuck his phone into his pocket before offering you his arm. When you looped yours through his, a familiar stance for the two of you, he began to lead you away. “They’re taking our bags upstairs.” He had already reassured you on the way here that though the two of you were sharing a suite it was one with two separate rooms for sleep arrangements. Just as you told Nima, you found yourself both relieved and disappointed.

Feelings were confusing.

“Hungry?”

“I could eat.” You nodded.

“Good. I know a place.”

Said place ending up being a cafe in the casino resort that served a late brunch. When Joel spoke to the host there was no need to ask for a wait time or place his name down. They gave him the choice of indoor or outdoor then walked you in immediately after he chose the outdoor option. The table they offered the two of you was a cute two person seating arrangement on the covered patio under a fan and in view of the elaborate pool. More gardens surrounded the pool itself in the forms of immense and impressive shrubbery and garden paths. The seating around the pool consisted of red and white chairs separated by curtain cabanas that you couldn’t even begin to imagine the price of.

“Do you come to Vegas often?” You asked after a waitress came by and took your orders.

“No. Just for this conference.” Joel shrugged. “It’s an annual thing.” You asked what the conference was about. In all honesty, you didn’t care too much about the specific lectures or meetings he had coming up, but you’d never pass on the opportunity to listen to him talk. “Mostly meetings between different companies. A way to network and bump elbows. A few lectures from some big names on the trendin’ topics in the contractin’ world.”

You beamed at him with a nod. “Very exciting.” Joel chuckled. “How busy is it gonna keep you?”

“Well tomorrow I’ll be busy for most of the mornin’ and afternoon, but I’m free in the evenin’. Then Sunday I have one last meetin’ in the mornin’ and I figure we can do somethin’ in the afternoon before headin’ back home on the jet.”

You leaned forward on the table, head resting on your fists, “And today?”

Joel’s lips curled into a smile that brightened all of his features. It was your favorite look on him. Forget the flannel or the expensive suits, it was that damned smile that put butterflies in your belly. You weren’t sure how a devastatingly handsome older man could also look so boyish and adorable while wearing that charming smile, but by God you were obsessed.

“Today?” Joel reached across the table and brushed his rough fingers against the side of your arm. In response, you let your arm fall from where it held up your head and tangled your fingers with his. Joel squeezed your hand. “Today I’m all yours, sugar.”

You liked the sound of that.

The two of you just enjoyed your uninterrupted time together. When your meal was over, Joel rose and helped you up as well. He didn’t hesitate to pull you close, looping your arm through his, and leading you back toward the lobby. “So,” You leaned into him, “Do we have plans for today?”

“We do.” Joel nodded. “Startin’ with an afternoon poolside.”

Your eyebrows raised in excitement. “Pool?” He hummed in confirmation. You smirked, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me in one of those new swim suits you bought me, daddy.” Standing this close to him, you could see the slight flush of red creep up from the collar of his shirt as he cleared his throat. Joel shot you a dry look. “What’s wrong? Are you getting a little hot under the collar?”

Joel cleared his throat, “You’re trouble, sugar.” He leaned in and suddenly pressed his lips to the side of your head. It was such a chaste and quick moment, yet it stopped your heart in your chest. He left his lips close enough to murmur, “Luckily, I know how to handle trouble.”

“I, uh, I…”

“What’s wrong?” Joel pulled back enough so you could see his smug grin, “Are you gettin’ a bit hot?”

You swallowed, involuntarily, and Joel took that as his victory. He chuckled and dragged you toward the elevators. Your suite was near the top floor of the resort, and when Joel pushed the door open for you the first thing that greeted you was the expansive window that made up the entirety of the wall. Your jaw popped open in shock and your feet carried you closer to the window. The room itself was gorgeous with decor of white and gold, you had never stayed in a hotel room that had an actual living room before, but you could only focus on the view of the Nevada mountains out in the distance. When you reached the glass, you peered down the dizzying drop to where you had a view of the pool and the golf course.

“So pretty…” You mumbled in awe. You spun in place to meet Joel’s gaze, “Isn’t this incredible?”

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. His arms were crossed and you could feel his eyes trace you from head to toe and back up. “Some view.” He kept his gaze on you for a beat while walking toward one of the side doors. Joel opened it and peered in then you heard him curse. “Fuck.”

Curiously, you walked around the couch toward him, “What’s wrong? Did they lose our bags?” You stepped beside him to see what it was that had raptured his attention the way it did, and your eyes landed on the singular Queen sized bed in the center of the bedroom. “Oh.”

“Son of a⏤ I am so sorry.” Joel said quickly before you could push out another word. “I’m gonna fix this.” He went further into the room and grasped the phone at the bedside to immediately bring it up to his ear. A beat passed and he was obviously connected to the front desk. “Hello?”

Your eyes drifted back to the bed and you felt your cheeks warm at the thought of sharing the same bed with Joel Miller. Speaking of the man, he was still arguing over the line and from the sounds of it the argument was not going his way. He seemed desperate to fix this problem and you worried that meant he was desperate to avoid sleeping in the same bed as you.

“No, no, I⏤ I understand that. But I⏤” Joel paused, his jaw locked, and then he pinched the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed irritably. “I said I understand that. No, I⏤ Yeah. Thanks anyways.” He hung up the phone and turned back to face you entirely. You shot him a sheepish smile. Joel’s irritation melted into worry and he held his hands up. “I swear, this was not my intention, darlin’. I booked a room with two beds.” Your eyes widened in understanding. Joel was worried you thought he was trying to take advantage. It was a laughable thought that had never even occurred to you⏤ not Joel. Some would call you naive to have such faith in a sugar daddy you hadn’t known for all that long, but it couldn’t be helped. Somehow, you just knew. “The Wynn doesn’t have any other two bed suites available but we can try a different resort or⏤”

“Joel.” You interrupted his nervous rambling and reached out to set your hand on his forearm. “It’s okay. Accidents happen.” Joel’s shoulders seemed to relax. “And as for the, uh, bed situation… I don’t mind.” The words tumbled from your lips slowly, awkwardly even, and Joel just stared. Quickly, you tried to scramble and clarify. “I just mean, it doesn’t bother me to share. We’re both, you know, adults. We can⏤ We can sleep beside one another without issue.” Joel just continued to stare and you were beginning to regret bringing it up at all. You felt silly. In a poor attempt to break the tension, you joked, “I promise I don’t kick in my sleep. I think.”

Joel set his hand on top of yours and squeezed reassuringly. “Of course we can. But, I don’t want you to feel… pressured to just accept this situation.” He spoke firmly leaving no room for argument in his voice. “If even the smallest part of you feels uncomfortable in any way please tell me. We could go to a different resort or, I mean, if you really wanna stick with this place I could get us separate rooms.”

“Really, Joel.” You replied with just as much finality in your voice as he placed in his. “I’m okay with this. It’s not a big deal.” You motioned toward the bed in question. “It’s a big bed.”

Joel let out a small sigh and shook his head. “I’m a… big guy.”

Your eyes couldn’t help but trace Joel’s broad shoulders and tall frame. “As long as you’re comfortable with it too.” Joel held your gaze then gave a nod. A small smile filling his features. “Now, can we get ready for the pool?”

“Yeah. Course.” Joel chuckled and lifted your hand to press his lips against your knuckles.

You had only just gotten used to holding his hand without feeling flustered, and now Joel was pulling out the big guns with these chaste kisses. The smug son of a bitch knew it too based on the smile he wore. Joel handed you your bag and you carried it into the bathroom to change. In your lifetime, you had gotten ready for a pool day God knows how many times. This was one of the first times you felt so nervous though. You loved your body and felt comfortable in your skin, but at the end of the day you were still a human with anxiety. You still couldn’t help that you wanted Joel to look at you and like what he saw.

At the very least you knew he’d like the swim suit itself since he was the one who had been there to buy it for you. Quickly, eager to get to the pool with Joel, you traded your travel clothes for the swim suit and pulled on the matching, thin robe-like cover that he bought with it⏤ leaving it open rather than tying it closed in the front. Then you spent another few minutes checking your appearance in the mirror and adjusting little things like your hair or where the swim suit sat. Finally, when you knew there was nothing left to check, or obsess over, you stepped out of the bathroom.

Joel wasn’t in the bedroom anymore. You set your bag aside and wandered out into the living room following the sound of his voice. He must have gotten changed out in the bedroom while you were in the bathroom. Joel had changed into swim shorts and a white t-shirt. The shorts were dark navy at the top half and a pale yellow on the lower half. You found you couldn’t stop staring because with the way he lounged on the couch, legs spread wide while talking on the phone, you could see his thick thighs. The sight of a man’s thighs should not make you feel so feral, and yet…

“No, the contract needs to be done by then. We can…” Joel’s voice trailed to a stop and your eyes snapped up from his thighs to see he was gawking at you. You bit down on your lower lip to try and mute the wide grin that threatened to fill your features. You raised a questioning eyebrow at him. Joel nodded. “You’re a goddamn vision, sugar.” There was no chance at hiding your grin now at his compliment. Joel jumped suddenly in surprise, eyes widening, as his attention went back to the phone he forgot he had been holding. “No, no. Not you, idiot.” You laughed and Joel’s cheeks burned. “Oh, bite me, Tommy.”

Joel hung up the phone and pointed it in your direction while standing up. “That’s your fault.”

“My fault?” You chuckled. “How’s that?”

“How’s that?” He scoffed, but his smile didn’t falter. Joel closed the space so he could reach out and lightly pinch your chin. “Walkin’ in here lookin’ like a work of art.” He shook his head. “Tommy ain’t ever gonna let me live that down.”

Joel’s eyes drifted down your frame again and you felt the back of your neck grow warm. You cleared your throat and his eyes snapped back to you. You smirked. “What’re you staring at, Joel?”

His hand fell away from your cheek to brush his fingers against the sunflower charm hanging from your neck. Joel hummed, “Just this pretty, little necklace, sugar.” You shook your head, amused. Joel stepped away to grab a simple back book bag that he slung over one shoulder. “Now, come on. Pool time.”

Rather than walk you down to the Wynn Resort’s pool, Joel led you to the neighboring resort’s pool. The Encore was identical to the Wynn from the outside and sat right beside it as its sister resort. As you traveled, Joel kept his fingers intertwined with yours. Every time he flexed his grip, you glanced down at where the two of you were connected. It was beginning to feel like your hand was shaped just to fit in his.

“So how come we don’t just stay at the Wynn?” You asked.

“The Encore is newer, and I think you’ll like the pool better here.” Joel replied. You had no room to question his judgment. So far, he was spot on because the interior of the Wynn was much prettier than the interior of the Encore in your opinion. “Plus, this is an adults only pool so we won’t have to worry about any yellin’ or splashin’.”

The moment the two of you stepped outside, you were greeted by a more modern looking pool with chairs and decor in shades of white and a bold red. Palm trees decorated the area and the floor was painted with the design of curling sun rays surrounding the pool. There was even a second story of chairs and lounges. Honestly, Joel either knew you better than you thought he did or the man was a good guess because this was much nicer than the Wynn’s pool. Joel squeezed your hand and you turned to see him watching you. He raised his eyebrows in question and you laughed again.

“Alright, alright. It’s a nice pool but don’t look so smug about it.” You replied. You glanced over the space, “Do you see any open chairs we can grab?”

“Yeah, I do.” Joel nodded, “Come on.”

Unsurprisingly, the pool was packed with people and Joel pulled you closer to his side so he could set his hand on your back while leading you through the throngs of people. You tried to spot the chairs he spoke of, but after a beat you realized he was leading you to one of the fancy looking cabanas. It was an open room built on the lower floor of the two story piece right by the poolside. A red curtain was hanging and draped open and inside was a couch, flat screen television, and a cabinet with a bottle of champagne sitting in an ice bucket on top. There were even two lounge chairs that could be dragged out into the space directly in front of the cabana where the sun was shining. Your eyes widened, “No way.”

Joel let go of your hand to step into the cabana and set his bag down on the couch. You slowly drifted in behind him and realized the little cabana was even filled with cool air from a large fan overhead. Joel pulled the champagne from the ice and you watched as he cracked it open with ease.

“How much was this, Joel?” You asked.

“Hey,” Joel chided as he turned with two flutes of cold champagne. He handed you one with a shake of his head, “What was the rule we talked about on the way here, sugar?”

During the plane ride to Vegas, Joel told you he didn’t want you asking how much anything cost during the trip. You chuckled and replied teasingly, “Sorry, daddy.” Joel lightly tapped the edge of his flute against yours and you followed his lead in taking a sip. “Mmm. That’s amazing.”

“Only the best for my sugar baby.” Joel replied, making you laugh.

You took another long swig from the flute then motioned to his bag, “Did you grab my sunscreen?” Joel set his flute down to dig through his bag then pulled out the sunscreen you had brought. You had asked him to toss it in with his stuff to keep from having to bring a bag of your own. “Thanks!”

Joel dropped down to sit on the couch. He rested an arm on the back of it with a content smile while staring at you. Biting back any nervous energy that bubbled in your chest, you shrugged out of your thin robe and began to put on the sunscreen. Knowing his gaze was on you, you rubbed it in methodically and tried not to let it be obvious that the butterflies in your belly were threatening to overwhelm you. When you got every spot you could reach with ease, you turned and held the bottle out to Joel, “Can you get my back?”

His eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected you to ask. Joel sat up and threw back the last of his champagne before taking the bottle. He stood up and you turned around. Luckily, not having to face Joel made the action much easier. Joel stood close enough that you could feel his warm breath on your neck and despite the hot weather you felt goosebumps rise on your skin. Joel’s hand settled on your lower back first and he was careful with the application. He rubbed it in your skin, but he did so in a way that made you feel like you were made of glass. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to complain because the more careful he was the slower he worked, and the slower he worked the longer you had his rough hands against your skin.

“There.” Joel hummed. His voice sounded more hoarse than it did when he started. “All protected, sugar.”

You glanced over your shoulder to meet his gaze, “Thanks, daddy.” You meant to say the words playfully, but instead they fell out in a soft near whisper. There was a beat of silence between the two of you and you forced yourself to shake out of the trance Joel had you in. “Um. Can you help me drag the lounge chairs out into the sun?”

Joel cleared his throat and nodded, “I can do you one better.”

He grabbed the back of his shirt’s collar to pull out of his shirt and your eyes involuntarily raked down his body. Joel was built strong. From his broad shoulders to the bit of belly he had, it all screamed strength and sturdiness. He tossed his shirt aside then grasped your hand to lead you out, but you dug your heels in to stop him. Joel shot you a curious look.

“You didn’t put on any sunscreen.” You said.

Joel furrowed his brow, “I don’t need sunscreen.”

“You don’t need sunscreen?”

“I’m a big, strong man.” Joel replied teasingly before trying to pull you out of the cabana again.

You tugged him back. “Hey, big strong man, in a fight against the sun you’re gonna lose.” Joel groaned and rolled his eyes in good nature but he allowed you to pull him all the way back in. You made him hold your flute so you could grab the bottle of sunscreen. Quickly, before you lost your nerve, you squirted a glob of sunscreen in your hand and began to rub it into Joel’s skin. He squirmed under your touch and you shot him a mocking glare, “Hey, stay still.”

“Bossy.” Joel snorted.

“Do you like it better when I’m bossy or bratty?” You asked with a cheeky grin. Joel’s lips pulled up into a smile, but he didn’t offer an answer. You used the last bit of sunscreen on your hands to rub onto his features and you finished with your hands on the side of his face. You squished his cheeks together. “There. All protected.”

Joel suddenly turned his face and playfully nipped at your hand with his teeth. You gasped in surprise and he laughed. “Now that we’re safe from the sun, let’s go.” He tangled his fingers with yours and offered you back the flute of champagne you hadn’t finished yet. With a sip, you let him drag you out into the sun. He walked you up to the poolside and stopped at the edge. In the shallow parts of the pool, sitting in the water, were circular cushioned beds with an umbrella situated in the middle of each one. By each beside was a circular stand where drinks could be placed to rest. You stared at, gaping probably, and Joel leaned in toward your ear. “That’s ours too.”

“Seriously?” You asked in surprise. Joel nodded. The urge to ask how much it cost came to mind, but you bit back the words and just grinned instead. Joel walked down the few steps into the shallow water and held your hand to aid you in. “You know,” The cold water came up just past your ankles and you waded with Joel to the daybed reserved for the two of you, “I could get used to this ‘having money’ thing.”

Joel chuckled and dropped down on the bed. He lounged on his back, hands folded behind his head, and stared at you as you settled in beside him. You chose to lay on your belly so you could continue to sip on your champagne.

“Thank you. For all of this.” You said sincerely. Briefly, you chewed on your lower lip then gave a small shrug, “I haven’t had a pool day in nearly a year let alone go on an actual vacation.”

Joel shook his head, “Thank you for comin’ with me, darlin’. You’re doin’ me the favor.”

The two of you just relaxed, letting the heat seep into your skin, and when you were on your last sip of champagne a poolside waitress walked over with a smile to see if the two of you needed any drinks. Joel sat up and ordered two frozen drinks. You chuckled, “You’ve kept a drink in my hand since the moment we landed.” You tilted your head. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to get me tipsy, Joel.”

“Me? Never. I’m a gentleman.” Joel shook his head. He smirked and nodded toward you. “Besides, you’ve already felt me up, and I didn’t even need to get you tipsy.”

Your eyes widened and you reached out to give him a light shove, “I was not ‘feeling you up’. I was saving you from a future of being a leathered, sun shriveled old man.”

“If that’s what you gotta tell yourself.” Joel shrugged.

You laughed and Joel began to lay back down. Before he could get comfortable, you pointed to the umbrella, “Wait, can you close the umbrella?” Joel shot you a confused look as if you were crazy for asking. You shrugged. “I just want some sunshine for a little bit.”

“You’re all the sunshine we need right now.” Joel said and reached out to pinch your cheek.

“That is an adorable excuse.” You spoke despite him pinching your cheek, and Joel chuckled before reaching up to close the umbrella. Bright sunlight immediately rained down on the two of you and the direct warmth on your skin made you beam happily. As hot as it was, you probably wouldn’t be able to stand the sunlight for very long, but it felt nice for the time being.

Joel grunted and rolled over onto his belly so he could keep the sun out of his eyes, “What do you say?” You slid a pair of sunglasses on and laid on your back while humming⏤ pretending to think of what answer he might want. Joel propped himself up just enough to rest one of his arms on your other side so he was leaning over you. You sucked in a sharp breath at his close proximity, and he raised an eyebrow at you. “Manners, sugar.”

“Thank you, daddy.” You cooed.

“Good girl.”

You tightened the fluffy, white robe that the Wynn resort left you in the suite’s bathroom then stepped out fresh and clean, “Joel! I’m done with the shower.” The two of you had stayed out at the pool until it closed. Being out in the hot sun the entire afternoon had wiped you out, but Joel told you to get ready for a night out and you found your second wind. Joel wandered into the bedroom, and you groaned happily, “You’re in for a treat because the water pressure was incredible.”

“I would hope so.” Joel chuckled then his eyes narrowed skeptically. “Do you have bad water pressure in your apartment?”

“Uh…” You paused in thought. You had a feeling that if you confirmed that information then Joel would try to buy you a new apartment or something equally as wild. “...no?” Joel shot you a skeptical glance that made it clear he didn’t believe you. He disappeared into the bathroom, and you quickly called out. “Oh, wait! Pick a color, Joel!”

Without hesitation, Joel replied through the door, “Red!”

Excitedly, you shimmed off the bed to hurry over and dig out the red cocktail dress Joel had bought you for Vegas. Of the newest additions to your wardrobe, the red dress you had picked out was one of your favorites. You wondered if he remembered that. While Joel showered, you pulled out the ironing board to smooth out any of the wrinkles your dress had gotten during transit. It didn’t take much and you were about to put away the iron when you paused. Joel’s suitcase sat near yours in the room. You bit down on your lower lip for a beat before walking over to find a shirt for him.

You picked out a black button up shirt to match the black blazer he had already hung up. The ‘black out’ look on him just seemed like it would be clean and handsome. Not that you could picture many looks not looking incredible on him. The bathroom door opened and Joel stepped out in just a towel. The back of your neck warmed and you tried not to let your eyes linger. Obviously you had seen him shirtless poolside, but this felt more intimate.

“Why don’t you get changed in the bathroom and I can get ready out here⏤” Joel paused and pointed to the ironing board. You finished the last few passes of the iron over his shirt. “Is that mine?”

“Well, it’s not mine.” You replied and picked up his shirt to shake it a bit. You held it out to him with a broad smile.

Joel took the shirt from you and you were acutely aware of his lingering touch on your hand. “This my color for the night, sugar? Black?” You nodded with a wide grin. Joel gave you a nod of confirmation and you scooped up your dress to head to the bathroom. “Alright. Black and red it is.”

You glanced over your shoulder to allow yourself one last look of Joel and seeing the bare expanse of his back made your heart flutter in your chest. The image of it lingered in your mind even after you closed the door. You made the effort to commit it to memory.

It didn’t take you too long to get ready and it was in part due to how eager you were. Joel had been tight lipped the entire afternoon about the plans for the evening. No matter how much you pleaded or begged he wouldn’t even give you a hint. All you knew was that he had an entire night planned for the two of you. Not even accounting for the amount of money involved in all of this, the fact that Joel had the thought to plan a night for you was heartwarming. It was a reminder that your bar was set so low due to your last boyfriend. You had to plan nearly every single trip or date night, and you had convinced yourself you enjoyed it. Tricked yourself into thinking you preferred it that way instead of admitting that it was a problem.

You rubbed your hands down the front of your red dress⏤ smoothing it out and giving you something to do with your nervous energy. You stepped out of the bathroom, expecting Joel to be sitting in the living room waiting for you or on his phone, but your feet faltered at the sight of him sitting on the edge of the bed. Joel ran a hand over his jawline, fingers dragging through his scruff. He stood up and the two of you spent a quiet moment just staring at one another. Just as you knew it would, the black shirt and black suit combo was deadly on Joel. This time you beat Joel to the punch.

“Hot damn, Joel.” You grinned. He cleared his throat and the look on his face could only be described as flustered. Eager to flip the table on him and do what he always did to you, you walked to him and reached out to smooth his lapel, feeling his chest under it, “This is a real good look on you, daddy.”

The sound that left him, almost a choking noise at the back of his throat, made you feel smug. He shook his head slowly and didn’t let his eyes leave you for even a second. “Oh, sugar,” Joel hummed, “I don’t hold a flame to you. I just don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” You asked.

“How every time I look at you, you somehow get even more breathtakin’.” Joel replied.

Heat rose in your cheeks and crawled up the back of your neck. Damn it all. Every time you think you had the tables flipped he managed to get the upper hand again. You let out a laugh and tried to hide how flustered you felt, “No fair.” Joel smirked as if he knew exactly what you were getting at. You gave his chest a slight push, but he caught your hands to hold them there. You shook your head, “Can you let me have the upper hand just one time?”

Joel breathed out a small laugh, and he opened his mouth to reply. However, he stopped himself and closed his mouth with an amused smile. You tilted your head curiously, but Joel just slipped his hand through yours. “Ready to go?”

“Do I get to know where we’re going now?”

“You’ll find out as soon as we get there.”

“Very funny.”

The same car that drove you from the airport to the Wynn also picked you up. When it came to the Vegas strip, there were some resorts that were within walking distance from where you were located, but Joel’s first plan of the night was not. You stared out the window marveling at the tall buildings covered in gigantic screens showcasing an ad or show. Even the sidewalks had plenty of things to watch. Tourists, showgirls, people performing, and some even dressed up in character suits. There was one rough looking Mickey Mouse the car passed that gave you a look into what the famous mouse’s life would look like if he got deep in the world of hard drugs.

“Oh,” You tore your eyes away from the window to look at Joel who sat beside you in the back of the car with his arm resting on the seat behind you, “Is that where they do that big fountain show?”

Joel nodded, “Bellagio. Yeah. We can stop and watch it later tonight. They do a show every thirty minutes I think.”

The car turned off the strip to a resort that sat just off it by a bit. The Aria. It looked as immense and fancy as any of the other resorts and was even shaped similarly to the Wynn and the Encore. Joel let his hand brush against the back of your neck and you knew he wanted you to stay in place while he climbed out. Seconds later, your door opened and Joel held out a hand to help you climb out.

“What’s so special about the Aria?” You asked.

Joel laced his fingers through yours and pulled you toward the resort doors. The lobby was a large open space with pillars, and your eyes landed on a wave of hand folded origami flowers in a gradient of red, pink, and orange hanging from the glass ceiling. You paused, jaw slightly open as you admired the sight, and Joel just waited patiently. Finally, you tore your eyes away from the origami flowers to look at him.

“We have dinner reservations here.” Joel answered.

You raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk, “We came all the way here just for dinner?”

Joel didn’t give you a reply, and you noticed he looked excited. You squeezed his hand and let him lead you deeper into the resort. In order to get where you were going, the two of you had to walk through the casino and it was fun to see the flashing lights and general buzz of excitement. The air smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, and there were different degrees of yelling and cheering. You were so caught up in your surroundings that you hadn’t noticed Joel and you reached your destination until he came to a stop.

You glanced at Joel who continued to beam at you, and then looked forward to where a simple arch sat with the word ‘CATCH’ written in bright, glowing letters above the top. It was what laid just beyond the arch that had your breath catch in your throat. The arch was the entrance to a tunnel and even from where you stood you could see the entire tunnel was made up of different flowers and glowing lights.

Joel leaned over, his lips close enough to your ear that you could feel his breath fan against your skin, “It didn’t feel right not bein’ able to get you a bouquet of flowers before dinner so I thought I’d just bring you to ‘em.”

You felt a visceral reaction to Joel’s words. Your throat tightened, and a part of you wanted to cry. It took every ounce of your self control to not actually let any tears fall. It was just so sweet and you felt so seen and cared for. “Joel.” You mumbled and turned your head to look at him. He was still lingering close to where he had whispered in your ear which left you dangerously close to his face. You swallowed, “Joel, this is…”

His eyes darted across your features, lingering at your eyes and lips, “Wanna take a closer look, sugar?”

Your face broke out into a face splitting grin and you nodded. Joel hesitated in place, taking in a slow breath, before pulling away so he could drag you through the arch. He let his own steps slow while you continued forward a bit. Your hand fell out of his, but your eyes were taking in the hanging flowers overhead and the colorful walls on either side of you. The air was filled with a sweet, floral scent and a soft, golden glow surrounded the space from the lights buried between the flowers. It took half a beat before you realized Joel wasn’t by your side, and you quickly turned in place to look for him. He stood a few feet back, hands in his pocket, just staring with a small smile on his face.

“What?” You asked with a laugh.

“Nothing.” Joel closed the space.

As soon as he was close enough, you looped your arm through his. The two of you took a few more steps down the wood panel path that led through the tunnel and a portion off to the side curved inward with a long half circle bench nestled against the wall and a wall of pink, orange, and red roses covering that indent of the wall.

“Oh!” You pulled him toward the bench and dropped down there with him beside you. “Can we take a picture?” You pulled your phone out. “Please?”

“I can take your picture for you.” Joel replied.

You shook your head and held onto his arm. “I want you to be in it too.”

Joel looked skeptical for only a moment. He never seemed the selfie kind to you, but he leaned in regardless. You lifted your phone to take a few snaps. Joel had one arm around your shoulders during most of the pictures, but near the end he used his other hand to cup the side of your face to pull him closer. Joel turned and pressed his lips to your temple and you managed to get a few snaps of that as well. Your chest was filled with so much warmth and happiness that you didn’t have the room to feel flustered.

You stood up with Joel and he tugged you to the end of the tunnel where a maitre’d stood waiting. The first part of the restaurant you could see was a large bar surrounded by people. Joel had the two of you pause by the front desk.

“Welcome Miller party.” The maitre’d asked. Joel nodded. “Your table is being cleaned off and prepared now. If you’d like to wait by the bar, your waitress will fetch you soon.”

“Thanks.” Joel dug through his coat pocket and you saw him pull out a few folded bills that he slipped into the other man’s hand. “And thank you for clearin’ the tunnel.”

“Of course, sir.”

It dawned on you then, and you glanced back to see the tunnel was now filled with small parties and couples. “Wait, did you pay him to let us be the only ones?”

Joel shrugged and rather than answer he stepped up to the bar with you by his side and ordered himself a glass of whiskey and your typical drink of choice. He kept one hand on the small of your back while you leaned against the bar. When the drinks came, Joel lifted his glass just high enough to allow you to tap yours against his. He winked as the glasses made contact, “Cheers, sugar.”

You moved to take a sip and your drink had only barely touched your tongue when a waitress came over calling out for Joel. He nodded for you to follow first so he could linger a step behind you with his hand on your waist. The table you were led to was a circular booth and it was one of the few tables decorated in excess. The booth looked like it was nestled inside a large bird cage with a broad open door, and woven between the metal bars were vines and string lights. You slid into the booth, setting your glass on the table to avoid spilling it, and Joel slid in after you.

“Joel, this place is…” You let out a breath, unable to grasp a word immediately, “...amazing. Thank you.”

“Stop thankin’ me for somethin’ I like doin’.” Joel chuckled. He draped his arm on the top of the booth behind you and let his fingers brush lightly against your shoulder.

“You like spending absorbent amounts of money on me?” You teased.

Joel leaned over a bit and lowered his voice, sincerity in his voice, “I like takin’ care of you.” It should probably concern how easily Joel was able to make your temperature rise. Literally all it took was a look, the sound of his voice, or just being in near proximity. He straightened back in his seat. “Now,” Joel picked up his glass and took a quick sip, “Is there anythin’ you always wanted to do while in Vegas?”

You hummed in thought. The fountains had already been mentioned. That seemed like a staple Vegas activity. “I wanna see a show.”

“Already on the agenda.”

“Wait, really?” Your eyes widened. “What show??” Joel just stared at you with a smug smile. You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a surprise.” You took a sip of your own drink. “I want to gamble.”

Joel chuckled, “Gamble?” You nodded. “Gamble how? Slots or a table game?”

“I want to play the one where you throw dice.”

“Craps.”

“Yeah, that!” You nodded. “Everybody does that while they’re in Vegas, right?”

“Fair enough.” Joel said. “Anythin’ else?”

Another thought came to mind, but it felt kind of silly. “There was this one other thing…”

“Name it, sugar.”

You scrunched your nose. “Can we go on the gondolas? I know it’s probably dumb since it’s not even a real river and it’s just inside one of those big resorts, but I don’t know… It looked kind of fun.”

Joel let out a breathy laugh before dropping his hand so instead of soft brushes he was able to squeeze your shoulder, “We can absolutely ride the gondolas.”

You bounced in your seat, excited, as Joel shook his head in amusement. The waitress came back to discuss the specials of the night. After a quick discussion, Joel ordered for the both of you. It was something you learned early on with the man. He enjoyed leading. Whether it be the obvious thing like paying for everything or having you wait in the car so he could open the door for you or ordering your food and drink for you. Joel just liked being in charge of the relationship and you had no qualms with that. Especially considering how careful and caring he was in the action. He paid attention to you, the things you did or the words you said, in order to take charge accordingly. As sad and pathetic as it was, Joel remembered more about you and your preferences than your ex-boyfriend did at the end of your relationship with him.

Content and at ease, you settled in your seat and let out a soft sigh.

The night went by too quickly for your liking. Dinner, just like everything with Joel, was easy. You had never met someone who made you feel so comfortable, so seen, so fast. And after he treated you to one of the best meals you ever had, the two of you traveled to the MGM resort for the show which turned out to be a show by the name of ‘KA’. Joel said he chose it off the recommendation of one of the business men he’d be working with in the morning, and it had been a solid choice. The show went beyond your expectations and you had already set them pretty high considering it was Cirque du Soleil and in Vegas. Then, rather than take the car, the two of you walked down the strip with your arm wrapped through his. The walk consisted of two stops, one at the fountains to watch the show, and the other at the Venetian resort to ride in the gondolas.

“Joel, this has literally been the greatest night ever.” You gushed while squeezing his arm. The two of you had walked from the Venetian back to the Wynn. His black suit jacket hung on your shoulders after he had given it to you during the gondola ride.

Joel chuckled, “Literally?”

“Yes.” You said. “I am being literal, thank you.”

“Well, sugar, you know me.” Joel lifted one of your hands to press his lips to the back casually. “Always happy to provide.”

He continued to lead you into the resort without even realizing how earth shattering his presence was to you. Joel kept your arm wrapped through his with his hand intertwined with yours and held to his chest. It was such an intimate gesture that he did so casually⏤ as if it were second nature to him. The urge to stop in your tracks and pull him into a kiss was nearly overwhelming. In fact, if you had maybe even one more drink tonight it would’ve been enough liquid courage to convince you. However, anxiety still plagued your mind. Logic tried to reign in your feelings and remind you of all the reasons this was a bad idea. Even if you ignored the nearly two decade large age gap between the both of you, there were still enough reasons for your brain to try and stop you.

If you could quiet your logical and turbulent mind for just a moment, just long enough to allow your heart to act, then maybe these fears and anxieties wouldn’t matter.

The two of you were walking through the casino to get to the elevators that would take you upstairs. You continued to stare while focusing on the circles his thumb was tracing on the back of your hand. God, you wanted this man. If he could make you feel so happy, so good about yourself, in public with innocent touches and glances, you wondered how incredible he could make you feel behind closed doors. You craved his touch, his rough hands grasping at all of you, and you were desperate enough to trade your soul just to feel his hot mouth exploring your skin.

Joel’s eyes suddenly met yours and you sucked in a sharp breath of surprise. Heat flooded your cheeks in embarrassment as if he could hear your sinful thoughts about him. Joel gave you a quick wink and nodded, “One last stop.”

He tugged you off the path that carved through the casino and onto the actual casino floor. The slot machines around you were a sea of colors, flashing lights, and whistling tunes. Servers drifted about bringing drinks to those sitting at the machines, but Joel led you past all of them. The two of you approached the section that had the table games, and you spotted the one with the dice.

“Oh!” You chirped in recognition. “We’re gonna play?”

“You said you wanted to.” Joel countered. The table wasn’t very crowded right now. Save for the casino employees, there was two other people standing around the table playing. You felt a sense of anxiety creep up your spine. You were vaguely aware that the rules for these table games were very strict and there were also unspoken rules of conduct. “Here.” Joel reached toward you and stuck his hand in the inner pocket of his jacket which hung off your shoulders. He fished out a few hundreds that you couldn’t help but stare at. Joel pushed two hundred dollars in your hand. “Just like me, sugar.”

He placed the bills on the table top with his ID card and you hurried to copy him. Between dice rolls, the man running the table pulled your bills toward him and began to prep your chips. You leaned over and whispered, “Joel, I have no idea how to play this.”

“It’s easy.” He reassured you. You glanced at the very confusing green felt covered in different words and numbers then back to him skeptically. Joel chuckled and tapped under your chin with his hand. “I promise.”

Joel began to point out different portions of the table, and between the warm honey tone of his words and the multiple drinks you had throughout the night, you were not following whatsoever. You stared at him, nodding every few seconds, while admiring the lines of his face. People wrote poems and sung praises about blue and green eyes, but you were convinced it was because those people were never blessed with the opportunity to gaze into Joel Miller’s eyes. There was a warmth in the dark color of his irises that felt like coming home after a long day in the cold. Your eyes flickered to a small bare spot in his scruffy jawline that vaguely resembled a heart and you resisted the urge to lean forward and place a kiss right there. Why else would the otherwise perfect man in front of you have that space in his beard if not for your lips?

“You’re not hearin’ a damn thing I’m sayin’, are you?” Joel teased.

You blinked in surprise and watched as his lips stretched into a bright smile, “Uh, I’m listening.”

“Right. What did I just say about the ‘Come bet’?”

“That…it’s… better than a ‘Leave bet’?” You joked.

Joel barked out a laugh and the sound made your stomach flip. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead. You were savoring the feel of his lips on your skin, when he turned you back to the table where a stack of chips were waiting for you. He slid two green chips into the box labeled ‘Pass Line’. You quickly mimicked his actions. Joel scooped up the dice, nodding at the man running the table, and then set them in your hands. “You’re the shooter, sugar.”

“Me?” Your eyes widened in worry.

“7 or 11.” Joel winked.

You took half a second to stand in shock at how your life had brought you to this point right here, and then you dove right in. You tossed the red dice and they bounced across the table before landing on a four and a three. The other two people at the table clapped their hands and Joel gave your elbow a squeeze.

The table slowly began to fill up, and you were a firm believer in the concept of ‘beginner’s luck’. You still only had a vague understanding of the game, but every time it was your time to be the shooter you were on a roll. It was exciting to have strangers cheering you on as well and as time passed you began to get more confident with how you tossed the chips around. Again, your knowledge on the actual rules were scarce, but you were pushing around higher number chips than Joel was. As the man running the table began to prep chips for a new player who settled in beside you, you turned to smirk at Joel.

“I’m doing pretty good.” You motioned to your decent stack of chips.

“Better than me.” Joel smirked.

Your pile was currently larger than Joel’s, but he seemed more concerned in keeping an eye on you than winning back his money. Teasingly, you leaned forward to let your lips linger by his ear, “If I win big, I promise to take care of you, baby.”

Joel laughed loudly and shook his head, “Just roll your dice.” You bounced in place just a bit before throwing the dice across the table. It landed on a total of seven which was not what you needed at the moment and it ended your roll. You groaned with the rest of the table, and Joel leaned into you this time. “Looks like I don’t need to worry none. Disappointed?”

“Nah.” You shook your head and locked your eyes with his. “I like being your sugar.”

“Good.” Joel’s dark eyes lingered on yours before dropping to your lips and bouncing back up. It was enough to make you release a small gasp, and he must have heard the sound because he smirked.

Your elbow suddenly brushed against something behind you, and it broke the spell. Joel leaned back and it was only then you realized how close the two of you had drifted toward one another. You cleared your throat and glanced at the man on your other side, assuming you had bumped into him while getting lost in the tempting vortex that was Joel, “I’m so sorry about that.”

“No, no. No worries, sweetheart.” The man replied. He was probably a few years older than you, if you garnered a guess, and he was decent looking but certainly not anything to write home about. Absolutely plain standing beside someone like Joel. He lifted his hand to your face, making you flinch, and opened his fist to reveal the dice, “Blow me?”

“What?” You blurted in shock.

“Watch it.” Joel snarled from behind you. His chest pressed against your side, and when you glanced over you saw the warmth in his eyes had turned dangerous. Not a comforting flame in the fireplace after a long day, but a raging wildfire licking at the edge of the forest⏤ threatening to destroy. Joel glared at the man and if looks could kill then he’d be struck down by now.

“I’m just talking about the dice.” The guy chuckled. He winked at you, and you blanched in disgust. “Relax.”

The rest of the table, including a few of his friends on the other side of him, began to goad him into rolling the dice. Joel was still stiff, and you set a hand on his forearm in hopes to calm him. Joel’s eyes snapped to yours and you watched the anger simmer. You gave him a reassuring smile. One stupid jerk wasn’t going to ruin the night for you. Joel nodded once and began to move around you. At first, you thought he was going to place himself in between you and the guy, but instead he settled behind you. Joel pressed his chest against your back, setting a hand on your abdomen to pull you closer, and then let his hands fall to the tables’ sides⏤ successfully blocking you in.

You couldn’t even focus on if Joel was still upset because every single ounce of your mind was redirected to keeping your body from spontaneously combusting. His stance around you was dizzying. Protective. Intimate. Possessive. Joel was stamping a claim on you, a warning to the man who accosted you, and you found it extremely attractive. Months ago, you would have firmly stated that you were a strong, independent woman who didn’t want nor need a man that took control or showed any signs of being overprotective. However, you would commit atrocities if it meant hearing Joel call you his.

Joel leaned his head down on your shoulder just enough to whisper, “You alright, sugar?”

Other than possibly going into a heart arrhythmia from his proximity, you were just fine, “Yeah. I’m okay, Joel. Don’t worry.” You felt him nod and then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the side of your neck. You audibly gasped, “Oh God.”

“What was that?” Joel asked.

“Nothing.” You blurted. His head was still hovering over your shoulder and you stayed stock still to avoid accidentally brushing any part of you against him. You heard Joel chuckle lightly before he straightened his posture.

With Joel nearly wrapped around your body, it was easy to fall back into ease as the game went on. You weren’t really winning much more money, but you also weren’t significantly losing either. Just bouncing back and forth enough to maintain the same amount of chips. Between that and the feel of Joel’s breaths on your neck, you were ready to call it a night.

You turned your head to speak to him and realized how close he still stood then. Your nose was only an inch or so away from brushing against his jawline. You swallowed the lump in your throat and found the courage to not pull away. “Can we call it a night? Go back to the room?”

Joel turned his head and the slow way his jawline ended up rubbing against the top of your nose softly seemed deliberate. He gave you a small smile and nodded. “Course.” Joel held his position for a beat more before pushing away from you so he could speak to the man running the table. “We’re out.”

You took in a shuddering breath as Joel got the chips converted to the highest amount possible so it’d be easier to carry. Your anxiety had a bad habit of making you overthink and underplay everything against your favor, but even for you it was difficult to ignore Joel’s behavior tonight. He seemed genuinely interested. Nima had encouraged you to chase what made you happy, and Joel made you happy. There was no doubt there. Anticipation began to build in your chest as you hyped yourself up to make a move tonight. You took a chance and said yes to being his sugar baby in the first place.

You just needed to take a chance again.

Joel turned back to you and he slipped a few black chips into his coat’s inner pocket before wrapping his arm around your shoulders to tug you into his side. You mimicked his action, holding yourself close to him, and the two of you only got a few steps away before the same obnoxious voice from earlier wolf whistled behind you.

“Damn, look at that ass.” The guy from earlier stumbled a step closer as his friends behind him tried to reel him back desperately. “How much do you charge a night? I’ll pay double whatever the old man is paying you.”

You stiffened at the words. They hit a little too close to home. You usually were able to easily let the drunk, stupid words of some obnoxious asshole roll off your back. Unknowingly though, the man had dug a knife into an already sore subject in your mind. In your spiraling panic, you didn’t realize the man was reaching for you until Joel was suddenly gone from your side.

Without a word, Joel slammed his fist into the man’s face then grabbed him by the lapels of his sport coat before he could collapse. The man’s friends were trying to stop the attack while calling out apologies, but their attempts were fruitless. Joel lifted the man up off the ground enough to throw him over the edge of the craps table, making chips fly across the green felt as others around the table screamed in alarm, and Joel punched the man twice more before security swarmed the scene.

“Joel!” You cried out and tried to reach him, but a man in a dark suit and badge held you back.

They separated the fight easily and when Joel was pulled back away from the now groaning guy who was still laid up on the craps table, you saw real rage burning in Joel’s dark eyes. You had never seen his features twisted in anger and loathing before. Security dragged the guy off the table and took him and his friends toward the front of the resort while ushering for you and Joel to follow them in the opposite direction. Joel’s eyes snapped to meet yours and you watched as his anger melted into worry and concern. He shoved a security guard out of his way to reach you and one hand shot up to rest protectively on the back of your neck as his eyes scanned your face.

“Hey, are you alright?” Joel asked nervously. Unable to find words, you gave him a meek nod and his shoulders sagged in relief. The lead security guard cleared his throat and Joel kept his hands on you while following after the man. When the small grouping of people reached the edge of the casino floor, Joel spoke up. “That piece of shit better be out on his ass.”

“He has been forcibly removed from our premises and I do apologize for the duress.” The lead security, his badge read ‘T. Gordon’, turned to you with a slight nod. “Are you okay, miss?”

“Oh, uh, I’m fine.” You replied.

“Good.” Gordon focused back on Joel. “As regrettable as this scenario was, fighting is strictly prohibited⏤”

“If you kept assholes like him from gettin’ so wasted then maybe I wouldn’t have had to start nothin’.” Joel snapped. “He was gonna try and touch her.”

“Right, and because of that we will not be restricting your access to the resort.” Gordon said. “That being said, I will have to limit your access to the casino floor. The Wynn has a strict policy. That gentleman will never be welcome on our property again, and you will be suspended for the next three months.”

“Fine. Can we go?”

Gordon motioned for the two of you to wait while he fetched some paperwork for Joel to sign. Your eyes darted down to Joel’s dominant hand, the one not wrapped around your waist, and it was still balled into a tight fist. There was a redness to the knuckles that made you gasp.

“What’s wrong?” Joel’s attention snapped to you in alarm.

You reached for his hand and cradled it in yours, studying the gash and early bruising, “You’re bleeding, Joel.”

“It’s not a big deal.” He tried to pull his hand away, but you held on tighter and he sighed. “Really. Doesn’t even hurt.”

Your thumb brushed the edge of the discoloration and his nose twitched with a slight wince. You shot him a light glare, “Liar.” Joel’s own lips curled into a small smile and you shook your head. “What? Don’t smile at me. I’m worried about your hand.”

“I know.” Joel replied softly. He turned his gaze away from you and his next words fell out in a slight whisper. “It’s cute.”

Gordon returned a second later and you were forced to release his hand so he could sign the paperwork stating he understood his punishment. You were just happy that the police didn’t need to be involved. Joel began to lead you toward the elevators, which weren’t far from where you stood now. It didn’t take long to get to the room, and the moment you stepped through the threshold you pushed him toward the couch to sit. Quickly, you shrugged out of his jacket and fetched a rag to run under cold water.

Joel was slumped in his seat with his head leaning back and his arm draped over to cover his eyes. You sat down beside him, on his left and close enough that your thigh pressed against the side of his, then carefully pulled his arm away from his face so you could take his hand in yours. Joel blinked his eyes open at you while you carefully began to dab at the gash on his knuckles.

“I’m so sorry.” Joel sighed.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I lost my temper.” He shifted so rather than slumped back he was sitting upright. Joel’s fingers wrapped around the hand holding his up while your other continued to clean his injury. “I never wanted you to see me like that.”

“Joel…”

“When I’m around you,” Joel paused and took in a slow breath, “I get to be one of the best versions of myself. Carefree. Happy. That’s what I want you to see. Not angry or grumpy or stressed⏤ Just… I don’t want…”

It seemed he couldn’t find the end of his thoughts. You paused in cleaning his wound to just squeeze his hand in reassurance. “I don’t want just the best of you, Joel. I want to know all of you. Good and bad.” Joel’s gaze softened and the way he stared at you, with blatant adoration even the worst of your anxiety couldn’t deny, made your chest fill with warmth. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“How’d I get so lucky to find you, sugar?” Joel asked quietly.

“Easy.” You offered him a smile and shrug, “You left your wallet at home, daddy.”

Joel laughed and the sound of it felt victorious. You liked being able to cheer him up. A knock at the door made you rise from the couch. Joel tried to stop you so he could go, but you brushed away his hand with a chuckle. At the door, a waiter stood holding a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of wine. You took it from him questioningly and walked back into the living space.

“What is it?”

You read the card tied to the side, “‘Please accept this wine as an apology for tonight’s disturbance.’” Your eyes widened and you stared at Joel in shock. “Seriously? You punch a guy and the hotel apologizes to you?” Joel motioned for you to get closer and you walked over to settle back in the seat you had been in. Joel pulled the bottle from the bucket to read it. “You rich people, I swear.”

“Wow. This is a pricey bottle.” Joel hummed. “I don’t know a lot of wines, but Sarah likes this one. I buy it for her every year for her birthday.”

You scooped up some of the ice to set in the rag, a smile on your features. You always loved hearing details of Joel’s home life. It wasn’t like he was hiding anything from you, he spoke freely about his daughters, but every little detail you learned solidified the image of the doting and loving father Joel truly was. You’d be lying if you said it wasn��t an extremely attractive trait of his.

With your makeshift ice pack, you shifted in place so you could settle it on his knuckles. Joel hissed at the cold and set the bottle down. His hand was resting in your lap so neither of you had to hold it up and his close proximity was making your heart race.

“You know,” You chuckled, “Nobody’s ever punched someone to defend my honor, like that before. Is it wrong that I kind of liked it?”

“Not wrong.” Joel shook his head. “But you’ve really never had to deal with an asshole like that before?”

You scoffed with a laugh. “I’ve dealt with assholes like him my whole life. I’m a breathing woman who lives in LA. I can’t walk down the street without getting catcalled or yelled at.”

Joel’s brows furrowed in confusion, “You were datin’ someone before me though, right?” You nodded in confirmation. “He never…?”

“Nathan wasn’t big on violence of any kind.” You shook your head. A memory tumbled out from your lips before you could even stop it. “I got groped once at a bar we went to. Some guy grabbed my chest and Nate scolded him and then the two of them started talking about some baseball game.”

“You’re shittin’ me.”

“Nope.”

Joel muttered under his breath a string of curses. His hand slid to rest on your mid thigh and he gave it a comforting squeeze. “I know technically the answer should be non-violence, so I’m probably the bad guy for sayin’ this, but I would’ve ripped that guy’s head off.” Based on what you saw this evening, you believed him, and still you only found comfort in it. “The world’s a goddamn mess and that kid you dated was a coward for not standin’ up for you. That’s the least a man could do for a woman he loves.” You felt your heart skip a beat at his insinuation. Joel didn’t love you. It was way too soon for him to feel any kind of way close to that, but to hear you were in the group of people he cared enough about to protect still made you feel some kind of way yourself. “Not that women can’t protect themselves.” Joel was near ranting now. “I made sure Sarah and Ellie could hold their own. Basic self defense, teachin’ ‘em how to handle a weapon, a kickboxin’ class here or there. But still… The thought that you got assaulted and your ex-boyfriend just thought to be chummy with the guy pisses me the fuck off.”

There was an edge to his voice, and you could see the haunted look of a past memory lingering in his eyes. You melted into the couch, closer to him, and Joel squeezed your thigh once more. “I’m okay, Joel. Everything is fine, and I’m safe. We’re safe.” You lifted the ice pack just enough to give his skin a break from all the cold. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Just…” Joel shook his head. “Bad memory.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Joel hesitated for a moment before sighing, “It was a long time ago. I took the girls campin’. Ellie was fourteen. Just a kid. Not even old enough to drive.” His thumb was tracing a line back and forth against your thigh as he recounted his past. “We were settin’ everything up, I looked away for a minute⏤ just a minute⏤ and she was gone. I left Sarah with Tess, called the cops, then Tommy and I were tearin’ apart the woods lookin’ for her.” Joel carried a tension in his shoulders as he spoke and you leaned in closer to him to offer physical reassurance without interrupting him. “I heard Ellie scream. That sound… it’s carved into my very soul. I’ll never forget it. I found her in this beat up RV by the lake. Some sick son of a bitch had snatched her and was tryin’ to…” Joel locked his jaw. Silence settled between the two of you for a moment. Your heart ached for him and it ached for his daughter. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the horror. Joel shook his head finally. “Ellie’s a fighter. She always has been. Arguably to a fault.” He let out a sad chuckle at the praise, but it faded. “She had clawed his face up, broke his finger, hell, she even managed to bite off the upper part of the bastard’s ear… Ellie held him off, and I got there in time. When I saw him though…” Joel squeezed your thigh and this time he didn’t let up. “God, I saw red, darlin’. Ripped him off her and nearly killed him. I would’ve except I heard Ellie cryin’ and I stopped to grab her. Cops showed up around then. Sick bastard was lucky it was the cops and not Tommy. Tommy wouldn’t have stopped me. Not for that.”

“She’s okay? Ellie?” You asked softly.

“Yeah. She’s strong. Stronger than me even.” A flash of pride filled his features while praising his daughter’s strength, “She got that from her mom.” You knew that Joel wasn’t related to Ellie by blood. He had shared that bit of information with you early on when he first told you about his daughters. That was all you knew of the fact though. You didn’t know how Joel knew Ellie’s mom or how she came to be adopted by him. “Since then though, I’ve always had a hair trigger for that kind of shit. More so than I used to. Just brings up bad memories.”

“I could only imagine.” You replied. “I’m so sorry, Joel.”

“No need for you to be.”

“Still…” You searched for something to say, but there were no words that came to mind. Instead, you rested your head between his shoulder and chest. Joel responded by letting the arm draped on the couch behind you wrap around your own shoulders as his right hand continued to reach across his lap and rest on your thigh. Softly, you spoke, “Sarah and Ellie are lucky to have you.”

Joel gave a small shake of his head, “I’m lucky to have them.”

“Well, then,” You lifted your head just enough to meet his gaze and gave him a tight lipped smile, “I’m lucky to have you.”

“Wrong again.” Joel chuckled and there was a softness in his eyes as he studied your features.

That didn’t feel true to you. It had been so long since you felt protected to this degree. For literal years, you only had yourself to rely on. Of course you always had Nima and Henry at the bake shop, they’d move mountains for you, but the thought of bothering them kept you from ever wanting to ask for too much. However, when Joel took care of you, it never made you feel like a burden. It felt like you could breathe fully and freely for the first time in a long time⏤ as if the concrete blocks once tied to your ankles were gone and you could now stretch your wings and be yourself.

Your gaze found its way to his lips before bouncing back up to his eyes. The plan had been to gain the courage to close this gap and share that physical intimacy with him, but the two of you seemed to find a different kind of intimacy altogether. You leaned in and rather than kissing him like you had been craving all night, you lightly set your lips against his jawline, in that same spot you had admired earlier in the night, and then laid your head back on his shoulder. You curled in closer into him and Joel wrapped around your once more as if it were simply natural to do so.

“You’re a good man.” You mumbled and listened to the steady thrum of his heart under your ear.

You felt Joel suck in a sharp, shaky breath and hold it. Eternity seemed to pass before he slowly breathed out. Joel turned his head, you could feel him moving, and he pressed a kiss to your hairline⏤ lingering there with his lips to your skin as he mumbled, “No, sugar. I’m really not.”

There was an underlying tone to his words you didn't recognize, but there was nothing that could convince you otherwise of your beliefs. You were lucky to have Joel in your life, and he was a good man.

taglist (closed):

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#tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #sugar daddy!joel miller x reader #sugar daddy!joel miller #take care of you

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vigilskeep · 5 months

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can you talk about misinterpretations of wynne and zevran's dynamic??? i'm chewing on your analysis

i think it’s a very basic case of people simply taking what is said at face value, in a way that comes up a lot with your classic zevran misinterpretations and uhhh oversimplifications. zevran and wynne’s banters are full of his classic exaggerated flirtations. all of their banters hinge on this joke and they’re very funny. but i’m always mildly stunned when i see people taking that as... zevran actually literally just being horny AGSHSKKSKS

i don’t think people give zevran enough credit for how clever he is at dancing around the other companions. nobody ever really gets one up on him. i can think of one specific instance in banter where i do think something gets under his skin, which i think oghren of all people manages essentially by accident the one time he’s actually not really trying

anyway: wynne opens their first banter with “you must know that murder is wrong, i assume.” it’s very wynne; she makes a judgement and announces it as fact. zevran is slightly stunned by this and also how funny it is: “i’m sorry... are you speaking to me?” with this incredible disbelieving pause because, like, he’s the party assassin. but he’s also playing for time quickly on how to react to this out of nowhere. wynne then explains the simple narrative she’s constructed that joining the party is due to a crisis of conscience on zevran’s part about being an assassin. and zevran immediately jumps into exaggerated agreement, and once he gets a better idea, the first of his flirtations with her, until she gives up in exasperation. it’s an evasion tactic zevran is very, very good at and has been doing to you, the player, since his first appearance on screen. he wants to play on the characters he performs when they’re useful shields, whether it’s the victim or the flirt or what have you. but also always with that ironic air that he’s clearly doing a bit; there’s the charm of letting you in on a private joke, but also he needs everything to be a faintly ridiculous game to him, so he doesn’t have to be affected

zevran keeps this joke up for the full extent of his banters with wynne through the whole game, because he finds it wildly entertaining, of course, and because he has no interest in ever inviting the conversation she wants. he so badly doesn’t want to deal with her asking this that he decides to run this bit into the GROUND, and starts doing it pre-emptively to ward her off even after she stops trying to instigate the conversation. bc wynne may be a good way off the mark, and, ironically for someone wanting zevran to take this seriously, not able to imagine that his life and feelings may be more complex than assumed (absolutely classic spirit behaviour once again), but she is needling at his reasons for leaving the crows, which is the last thing wants to be honest with anyone about

making the assumption that zevran is flirting with wynne out of genuine interest is, to me, the same mistake as thinking zevran when you first meet the warden is flirting out of genuine interest. this is how he knows to stay alive. if he let his guard down, he’d be dead; if he wasn’t charming, he’d be dead; and if he ever stopped to dwell instead of being the “eternal optimist”, always instinctually grasping at one more chance to live another day, he’d be very, very dead. he’s not going to casually discuss vulnerabilities for someone else’s peace of mind and he definitely doesn’t have the kind of insecurity to need to explain himself to people who don’t know him or what they’re talking about. so, rogue evasion abilities activate! it’s time for him to dodge! which is what he spends the entire series of banters doing. but also he’s just still finding it funny throughout. she just gives him so much ammunition. it’s like taking candy from a baby. zevran loves an old and terrible joke repeated for several months solid, they age like wine to him

i also think wynne’s comments are a light jab at how zevran does get read by players. he’s not ashamed of being an assassin. there’s this great line in one of his dialogues with the warden that asks why he shouldn’t continue to do what he’s good at when so few have come by his skills “honestly”, as he believes he has. there’s a tendency to characterise him and characters like him as, ah, the guilt-ridden victim in need of a pure-hearted saviour to show him the light, etc etc, but that’s never been who he is. there’s no ending where he suddenly quits being an assassin lmao

#zevran arainai #wynne #hope this makes sense aha i just remembered i got this ask and had to scribble smth before i forget again #wynnes banters are so elite ive said this before but everyone else gets levelled up a notch with her #anyway its just the usual point about zevran: sex is the distraction. the character who is about sex is literally alistair

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sindar-princeling · 1 year

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(I was wondering for a while if I should edit this post to be neater, or erase the things I've already said, but after all I decided to keep it just as it was, because over the past few months I was adding more and more thoughts to it as I edited, and I wanted to keep them that way, unedited and just the way they came to me. so here are some thoughts I had while editing the newsletter)

editing LOTR to go chronologically felt like constantly finding some hidden gems that can only be found when you read that way, and wondering if they were put there intentionally (and knowing jirt, they most probably were). it was a truly, deeply special experience, and a unique way of experiencing LOTR to me

there are so many fragments where jirt says what happens after everything! the ponies were okay, Pippin cried when he heard horns after the battle of Pelennor fields for years to come, even the prologue reveals some information about who survived the War

the long breaks in Rivendell and Lórien were very interesting in this format. some people were remarking how they liked thinking about the fellowship just chilling during those breaks, and I think it created a nice effect of both the characters and us forgetting how close the danger is for them. it let us take those breaks with them!

the only part of the quest that doesn't have a date assigned to it takes part in Lórien, it's the one where Frodo and Sam sing about Gandalf. and it's SUCH a good detail! Tolkien kept track of every event, of dates and even times of day for the entire duration of the quest, but this fragment is just Somewhere There, because in Lórien time seems to stand still, and you can never know when you are

the only other fragments which are confusing time-wise take place during the dark days with no sun, which is of course a great writing choice, but even they are described in Appendix B - the Lórien fragment has no date, no reference point, nothing

it doesn't hit you that much when you read the book, but the battle of Helm's Deep happened literally just one (1) week after the breaking of the Fellowship. Aragorn was out there having the Worst Week Of His Fucking Life

I loved feeling the impact of certain events more while reading chronologically (the three hunters running for days made more impact on me when I was sending yet another entry and they were still running)

before actually going through TTT and ROTK, I was preparing for very long entries for each day. but after the Tower of Cirith Ungol and the Battle of the Pelennor Fields (March 15th), the next ten days before the Ring is destroyed are so... empty in comparison. and it works amazingly well when you read according to dates. we hear just enough from Aragorn and the Host of the West to let the tension grow and grow. we hear just enough from Frodo and Sam to feel the oppressive atmosphere of these entries. but on the other hand, the entries are short enough to set our imaginations to work and make them fill in the rest. to me it's the perfect balance of the horror you read about and the horror you know is still there even after you close the book. this is what I mean by hidden gems, because it works that well only when you read day-by-day - in the book those fragments are just a few pages long, and you can get through those ten days very fast. but when you read according to dates, the torment is spread over so much time

the previous point is why I loved seeing the pacing in LOTR this way. in LOTR, so much can happen in ten days; and yet so little happened between march 15th and 25th besides fear and suffering

there was one part that gave me a headache because I spent so long trying to figure it out I forgot to eat - March 10th-14th in the Frodo and Sam subplot. it was a huge relief when I opened my atlas of Middle-earth and found its author Karen Wynn Fonstad had the same doubts when she'd been researching for the book that I did (and also that she arrived at the same conclusion).

apart from the March 11th-14th fragments, the most challenging day to edit was March 15th because Everything Happened So Much, and many things - simultaneously. it was a choice between chopping certain fragments into really small bits or sacrificing the impact of certain scenes

the only thing I'm sad about losing in this format is the ending, because Frodo getting ill and leaving Middle-Earth in fall, the same season as when he first set out, brackets the plot of LOTR such a beautiful and heartbreaking way and underlines one last time that "there and back again" is never really just that - you always end up somewhere else than where you started

#lotr newsletter #it's mine my own my precious

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hungerandthirst · 2 months

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in the wake of aaron bushnell’s self immolation, i’ve been reflecting on an article i read several years ago about wynn bruce, a man who set himself on fire on the steps of the Supreme Court building on earth day 2022 to bring attention to the climate crisis. this is an excerpt from “witness to a fire” by jay caspian kang, published in the new york times on april 28, 2022:

It’s hard to get comfortable with such violence. Wynn Bruce’s act of protest feels senseless because his death will not change the way legislators, corporations and individuals go about their polluting lives. There is a silent calculation among witnesses that accompanies any act of civil disobedience, even those we may agree with on principle: What is the point? This is standard fare for how many people think about protests, violent or not. We tend to pathologize the activists and imagine that they must be animated by the pettiness and greed that motivates us. In many cases, they are.

But self-immolation forces the witnesses, whether in person or through the news, to confront an intensity of conviction that goes well beyond what they may think is possible. In this way, self-immolators like Thich Quang Duc become almost inhuman, even holy. At the same time, the act establishes an entirely personal connection because the real question at hand isn’t really, “Why did he do that?” Rather, the self-immolator is asking you — with all the intimidation and self-righteousness a person can muster — “Why don’t you care even half as much as I do?”

I am still horrified by self-immolation, but I also believe that we should resist the urge to write it off as the last act of the mentally ill and the desperate. Nor should we simply frame each incidence with some made-up measure of how much effect it has had on the world. The discomfort we feel over this practice and our sincere desire to see it end should not preclude us from taking it seriously as an act of protest. We should hope this practice ends, but we also shouldn’t just look away.

Wynn Bruce lit himself on fire on Earth Day 2022 because he believed it might inspire people to work against climate change. There is not any more or less meaning we need to take away from it.

#aaron bushnell #wynn bruce #palestine

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avelera · 1 year

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"I read it to find out what the fuss was about, and remained somewhat puzzled; it seemed a lively kid’s fantasy crossed with a school novel, good fare for its age group, but stylistically ordinary, imaginatively derivative, and ethically rather mean-spirited."

- Ursula K. Le Guin

It's been understandably popular to take pot-shots at Harry Potter lately because of JK Rowling's truly disgusting and reprehensible comments lately. This quote above by Le Guin, which I agreed with even while a teenager, got me thinking about my own views on the series and apropos to nothing, I felt this was a better place to expound upon them than Twitter.

I have a knee-jerk dislike of the very human condition of saying we, "Always knew something," after the fact, that we "Always knew" someone problematic™️ was problematic or we always knew this thing that was popular was Bad Art after it became less popular. I find it intellectually dishonest.

So I'll preface all of this by saying: I had minor issues with the Harry Potter series back when it came out that went against the mainstream view of it, in that I thought it had many good qualities as a book series, but not enough to warrant its popularity compared to other, similar YA and fantasy series. I was genuinely baffled by its superstar popularity but as a fantasy book reader in the days before it was easy to access online fandom, I would take what I could get and I certainly didn't mind fangirling about Harry Potter stuff with friends even if it wasn't my #1 favorite series of all time. I enjoyed the fanfic for Harry Potter immensely so that allowed me to sort of blend in with those who enjoyed its popularity. (Special shoutout to MY favorite Harry Potter book of all time, "Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills" by Jocelyn over on fanfiction.net, that was MY Harry Potter series lol.)

So here's the thing, it's easy to say, "I always hated Harry Potter" or "I always knew it was trash" and that's a lie. For me, the truth is:

I enjoyed Harry Potter much like I did many of the fantasy series of its day.

What they had going for them was their pacing, whimsy, and inherent mystery structure in the first 3 books. They're fast, fun, easy reads with a likable protagonist. They are not bad books. But as Le Guin says, they're stylistically ordinary and imaginatively derivative. There's a lot of books like them.

I did not think the books were better than Pratchett, or Gaiman, or Garth Nix, or Dianne Wynn Jones, or any of the many other fantasy authors I was reading at the time. I was confused by their popularity as compared to better books like Pratchett's Discworld which, while popular, never got a theme park made for them in terms of order of magnitude popularity.

Now, JK Rowling on the other hand I had some issues with from the start, if not the ones that emerged later with her being a bigot. It is worth mentioning for the sake of intellectual honesty that decades ago, she gave a lot to charity and was a voice for tolerance in the early 00's when Bush/Blair, the Iraq War, etc were in full swing. It makes it all the more heartbreaking and baffling to see her swing towards bigotry on LGBT+ issues. Truly, a lot of young people first learned to stand up to fascism and be accepting of those different from them because of Harry Potter, just like they did reading the Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card, and in both cases it's absolutely heartbreaking and so very confusing to see these authors fall to the very dark side they wrote against in their books. I have no answer for how or why this happened. I don't say this to make an excuse for either of them, simply to express confusion and mourn the loss of someone who was once a voice for some level of good in the world.

Now, my issues with JK Rowling were writerly, and they are the ones I feel somewhat empowered to say I "always knew" and "always had an issue with" and that, like the worst sort of hipster, "I talked about before it was cool".

Really my dislike began when JKR very famously said in the early 00s that she didn't read any fantasy before writing Harry Potter. Considering how derivative it is (heck, Neil Gaiman already had a YA series about a black-haired wizard boy with a scar) it left one wondering if she was lying or she truly was that ignorant in the genre in which she wrote. Either way, not a good look, and it soured me towards her pretty permanently as an author.

Terry Pratchett, the author I would actually follow into Hell, criticized her for this comment and got a lot of flack for it, asking how in the world she could not realize she was writing fantasy. This solidified my opinion of her as something of a hack, even if she had stumbled upon a winning story. Neil Gaiman also chimed in saying he didn't feel ripped off but seemed to tacitly agree with Pratchett that her lack of institutional knowledge about fantasy was odd.

As a big fantasy fan of the early 00s, I can say that fantasy was still a bit of a forbidden genre (at least in the Anglosphere), one not taken seriously. So for JK Rowling to be asked if she wrote fantasy had a layer of nuance, basically she was being asked if she meant to write a fantasy novel, ie, in a "lesser" genre, barely above dime story penny dreadfuls in value.

No one literary would admit to writing fantasy at the time, it was a whole thing where if you admitted to writing fantasy you were "downgraded" as an author in terms of prestige (Stephen King went through a lot of this). BUT, if a fantasy book achieved popularity, it was labeled as "literary" so the literary folks could claim ownership of the quality genre fiction, and never have to admit that "literary" is a genre and not a mark of quality (a deep-seated rage button issue for me and a rant for another day).

So when JK Rowling said, "She didn't know she was writing fantasy." That meant something. And what it meant was she was throwing the rest of the genre under the damn bus. With her visibility she could have helped actively tear down the biases against fantasy (something she did indirectly with the popularity of her books). Or she could have simply had humility and said she wasn't as versed in the genre as she should be given where her book ended up being shelved, but there's a lot of good works there and she's honored to be among them.

She did neither. She stuck to her ignorance (what would become a common trait of hers, apparently) and did very little to elevate others in the genre, or the genre itself, and indeed, seemed to try to distance herself from it in what was the safe move at the time.

I cannot stress enough how intellectual dishonest, arrogant, and safe it was for popular writers who got dubbed "literary" when they were in fact writing genre fiction to cleave to that title of literary, guard it jealously, and refuse to acknowledge that literary is a genre of its own, not a mark of quality. To be labeled "genre fiction" was to be considered "lesser" and that stigma is still out there, though much lessened by the wave that began with the Lord of the Rings movies, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, and the Marvel films making so much money and really setting up genre fiction to at least be seen as lucrative if not artistic. We have come a long way from how fantasy was viewed 20 years ago.

JK Rowling also said she wrote no other books before Harry Potter. That's another puzzling instance where either she's lying, sold her soul to the Devil (and hey, maybe she did and he's collecting by making her turn into a frothing bigot), or was simply a more lucky and less skilled writer than people realized. Every writer has a closet full of short stories and novels they've written before publishing their first work. I can't stress enough how bizarre it is for her to claim she never wrote anything else before putting pen to paper with Harry Potter, that simply does not happen. Then again, her later books make it seem more likely that is true.

Writerly aside, but JK Rowling is utter garbage at structure. She lucked into the perfect scaffolding for a basic plot with the Harry Potter school year, but as Fantastic Beasts and her other, non-school based plot structures reveal, she didn't realize what a crutch that was for her because the woman does not and has not learned how to build a plot that isn't strung up on the structure of a school year for building tension and story beats.

Look, JK Rowling has always been a weird author. She really did come out of nowhere in terms of previous works. She doesn't acknowledge her peers in the genre that built her fortune, not even to confess that while she didn't know about them, she's now learning about a wonderful rich genre out there. She went the other direction and disavowed fantasy (it's possible she backtracked since and had nice things to say about the fantasy genre, I'd love to hear it if so).

There was in fact always subtle bigotry and a ton of tokenism in the Harry Potter books. That said, in the 90s, that was pretty par for the course, and she deserved some kudos for making the books so explicitly about fighting fascism, even if I'm not sure she fully understood her own themes.

To say these books were unpopular or that they had no writerly merit at all is intellectually dishonest. They were popular for a reason, mostly because they're fun. However, they were not unique, there were many like them, she got very lucky and it's bizarre how little she's acknowledged this or her peers. Of all the negative tendencies any human has, I'm shocked and dismayed that her tendency to stick to her ignorance like she did with the wider fantasy genre is the one that won out and was transferred to LGBT+ issues, to the point of doing active damage to her works and brand. But as her attempts to branch out from Harry Potter have further confirmed, JK Rowling was always a stylistically ordinary writer. Her mean-spiritedness didn't stand out as much in the 90s but it absolutely does now and it's ugly how she leaned more into sticking with the moral heights she reached at that time rather than trying to learn and grow as a person.

JK Rowling went full Whedon and figured because she was slightly ahead of the curve in the late 90s that she had nothing more to learn and it hurts when people who are creative, people whose job it is to have empathy for other walks of life, never learn or grow and stick to their old laurels that are increasingly out of date. I personally don't think myself as a hardcore Harry Potter fan, I have no horse in this race for the redemption or lack thereof of JK Rowling or the book series. I can only offer my view as a fantasy writer and someone who grew up through the cultural phenomenon of these books.

But, as usual, Ursula Le Guin was right, I agreed with her then, and her words have only borne out more and more with time.

#jk rowling critical #hp meta #hp critical

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absentia-if · 11 months

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I don't think this has been asked, and if it has feel free to ignore this 😅. how would the ros react to mc disappearing for an entire day leaving a note for the ros that says they would be gone for the day but without a reason, and then comes back the next day with a special gift that the ros may have mentioned in a previous conversation?

Kade/Kara: They barely pay attention to the gift, thoughts already swirling back to the note you had left them. It wasn't enough, it'd never be enough, not when they didn't know why you had gone so suddenly-- not when you had been gone for as long as you had been, without contact or any indication of where you could be. "Don't disappear like that again," they say, hazel eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I appreciate that you were doing something for me, and I trust that you're able to take care of yourself, but I couldn't handle it if something happened to you and I didn't know. Again."

Michael/Margot: The sight of you causes various emotions to swirl within their chest: rage, tinted with relief, happiness, poisoned with bitterness, and joy that's wrapped in a bundle of fear. Azure blue eyes darken to a stormy cobalt, reminiscent of the ocean after a hurricane, and an expression you couldn't quite name contorts their elegant face. "Did--" M cuts themself off, a bone-deep sigh leaving them before their arms quickly wrap around your body and pull you tightly against them. "Did you think I wouldn't worry?" they whisper, voice thick with pain. "Did you think that a note would suffice? We always say goodbye, MC. That's our rule. I-I wasn't able to say it the last time you were taken from me. Please don't make go through that again."

Blaine/Blaire: Happy Birthday is plastered all across the wrapping paper, it crinkles slightly in their hands as they turn it over, but B, despite everything, couldn't help the frown that furrows their brow; nor could they forget the worry that had made a home within their chest for the past day. "You didn't have to do this, MC.” They gently place the wrapped gift on the coffee table before they take your hand. "You being safe, you keeping me company, you being here, is more than I could ever ask for. I don't need anything else for my birthday except for you to be right by my side as I celebrate it. Just like you always have been."

Wren/Wynn: "Do you not understand how foolish it was to do this?" They hiss, a snarl etched across their face, while dark brown eyes look almost black due to their rage. "Did you not think that I wouldn't worry? That I wouldn't think something happened to you? For a day, for twenty-four hours, I didn't know if you were okay, I didn't know where you were, and I didn't know why you left. I've worked cases exactly like this before, MC. I've seen what it can do to people. I couldn't bear it if it happened again to you or your family. Not after everything that's already happened." A soft sigh leaves their mouth then, tension leeching from their shoulders as they slump forward. "I appreciate the sentiment of the gift, I truly do, but I appreciate knowing that you're safe even more."

Nicholas/Natalie: "I-I thought something happened," they sob, hands desperately clawing at your back, tightening their hold on your hoodie. Logically they know you're safe, they know you haven't disappeared, but that doesn't make the pain, the grief, work its way out of their system any faster. They had seen what your disappearance did to their best friend, to your parents, even if it was only in passing, and they couldn't imagine how they had been able to live with it; they had thought you were gone for only a day and the pain had almost been overwhelming. Dealing with death, dealing with the grief that came with it, was commonplace in their life, but they never wished for it to be when it came to you. "Please don't go somewhere that I can't follow."

#absentia #wrote some of these before i saw the mc left a note #my bad #asks #ask #turgpickens #kade lewis #kara lewis #margot steele #michael steele #blaine ellis #blaire ellis #wren cassidy #wynn cassidy #nicholas paxton #natalie paxton #scenario asks

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eerna · 6 months

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So was it any good? tbosas I mean

Well,,,,,,,,, kind of? I had fun, but also went in knowing they won't pay attention to what I loved about the book so my expectations were properly low. TBOSAS is my fav THG book so a different adaptation exists in my head

Non-spoilery: The movie is divided in parts like the book, but there is no rhyme or reason why, no dramatic breaks or changes like in the books. The Reaping isn't on July 4th because of course. Tom Blyth as Coriolanus was a surprise because I expected nothing from him other than looking sort of like old Snow. The movie naturally removed any and all nuance from his character and kept spelling out everything, but there were a few scenes where they let him yknow, act out how his character is supposed to feel, and it was really good! Rachel Zegler as Lucy Gray was more of a mixed bag - sometimes she was fantastic in selling the over-the-top dramatic flare, but other times (especially towards the beginning) it was just weird. I firmly believe this is because the movie didn't fully commit to Lucy Gray as a charming crowd director who keeps her heart hidden and instead made her a more honestly vulnerable girl. She dazzled in musical numbers, though, that girl is a performer through and through! Viola Davis was bad I am so sorry but I felt like I was watching a Disney Channel performance and it's entirely the movie's fault and not hers. Peter Dinklage was super good as Dean Highbottom, he makes him all sad and lost without being over-the-top. The rest of the cast was also good. I loved the sets and the costumes, very in-line with what I'd imagined. The night/dark scenes were so dark that subtitles felt like they were burning into my eyes, it was the absolute worst quality dark scenes I've ever seen in a big movie.

Spoilery:

They removed Coriolanus' obsessive love for Lucy Gray and turned it sooo muted :(((( He didn't even want to kiss her before the Games! He didn't try to control her or feel jealousy or ANYTHING that could imply he might turn on her one day!! His emotional changes and impatience and politeness and selfish kindness are also all gone now. Sejanus and he aren't nearly as close as in the book, but there was this funny moment where the two of them had a more intense forehead touch moment than any Coriolanus shared with Lucy Gray and it made me chuckle. Tigris and Coriolanus were very very well done, I loved how she was always his first bestie!!! But I am sort of annoyed they turned it from "Tigris puts Coriolanus down for the way he treats others" to "Tigris is scared Coriolanus will become his dad". Lucy Gray's Reaping was absolutely horrible, she threw a singing fit instead of being a confident performer, so it makes no sense that she just flips a switch into untouchable after. Loved the snake charmer climax where everyone stands up for Lucy Gray and proves that Capitol needs a victor! It worked better for the movie than the book version, and the way the music exists as a meta instrumental scene where the score eventually catches up to her singing - THAT is how ALL her songs should have been treated!!! The way music worked was one of my biggest issues, sometimes they were totally off tonally from what their role was in the books (The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird this is about YOU Maiah Wynne's version makes me sob to this day while the movie version is only saved by Rachel's passion) and only the snake song was properly utilized as a plot point. They were such good opportunities for exposition that is more subtle than just putting whatever is Coriolanus feeling in clunky dialogue. And the clunky dialogue WAS constantly used to make up for the amount of internal monologues, even if it made zero sense -at the end they literally had Lucy Gray say "Haha if you destroyed the guns and killed me you could go to District 2 no sweat hahahaha anyway I'll go get some potatoes bye" like what. In what world would she literally tell him that. She is supposed to be a smart survivor. They also put "it's things we love most" quote as the final line in the movie, and I can't describe what a stupid choice that was, because if it wasn't there the movie would go "Highbottom tells Coriolanus he won't be able to forget Lucy Gray-> Coriolanus' proud exit where he believes to be the victor as snow falls down -> Can't Catch Me Now end credits including the snow motif", which would have been SO much stronger since that song delivers the "Lucy Gray eventually caught up to Coriolanus" message and we don't get it spelled out like we're 5 years old. It's not the only part of the movie where references to the OG stick out like a sore thumb, and I am once again asking Why. Why don't you think your audience is smart enough to understand.

#eernask #eernanon #eernask talk thg #tbosas spoilers #this is so messy i am sorry

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alizalayne · 5 months

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books of year ‘23, but only the ones that weren’t rereads and that I had something to say about. Text is written out below the cut. Please recommend books to me!!

Scales and Sensibility by Stephanie Burgis

when i saw this being recommended to me on scribd i sent it to my friends along with the word YESSSSSSSSS about 80 times. This has palpable Diana Wynne Jones insanity which is very exciting to me. The romantic lead is so boring but he’s not important; what’s important is the main character’s batshit physical transformation and its consequences. This book also triggered a personal ephiphany that i’d been setting myself up for for years, which is a little bit happenstance but I’m glad it happened while listening to this as an audiobook on a hike.

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Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura

I’ve read a few books with a similar tone and goals but most of them do not feel as sincere, or they get preachy in a way this does not. I am a massive sucker for narratives about going and coming back to magical worlds (pre-isekai boom), like coville’s unicorn chronicles or barker’s abarat. they’re the most effective to me when they do what this is doing: telling an empathetic human story. One thing I really appreciate about this book as a mental illness narrative for younger people is its willingness to tackle the idea that someone’s terrified inner voice can be incorrect, or it can reflect reality accurately— some people do have a reason to be excessively scared. I think there’s a tendency when tackling this concept, especially for child readers, to tell them that their anxieties are silly and illogical, that of course no one is trying to hurt them. But that’s not always true. I appreciate that this story is able to question the main character’s assumptions about other people’s evil intentions while not questioning that her feeling of fear is real, while simultaneously acknowledging that similar pain is felt by kids going through abuse. I think I would have preferred a smaller cast or a longer book with more exploration of the other kids.

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Earthlings: A Novel by Sayaka Murata

another very empathetic mental illness book, but much more disturbing. the main character’s worldview is alluring because the narrative paints reality in such a bleak way. If it didn’t force a sense of perspective on you, it could be a document that starts a cult. It’s very accurate to some experiences that I have had and things i have heard people say while in dangerous situations that involve religious behavior.

It’s very difficult to challenge the type of thinking this explores because each brick that builds a wall between someone’s mind and the rest of reality can seem like a reasonable brick. but when you look at the whole wall you can’t understand how such small and normal things as bricks could seal someone up inside and swallow them. This does a good job of showing you its challenge without being cruel. I’m glad I read it.

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What Once Was Mine: A Twisted Tale by Elizabeth J. Braswell

official goth retelling of disney’s tangled, I had to see what was going on in there but it was pretty boring, worth the $0 price of library admission for rapunzel having evil moon hair that fucking kills you

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Cutting Teeth by Chandler Baker

NO EXPLANATION FOR WHY THE TODDLERS STARTED TO CRAVE BLOOD. WAS HOPING DRACULA WAS BURIED UNDER THE PRESCHOOL BUT NOBODY LETS ME HAVE ANYTHING AROUND HERE

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Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

I’d never read this before. Soooooo fun

fucking GET HIMMMMMM GIRLLLLL YESSSSSSSS!!!!! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Declamation on the Nobility and Preeminence of the Female Sex by Henricus Cornelius Agrippa, edited by Albert Rabil Jr. 2007 edition

I cannot recommend this text enough if you are insane like me in pain like me (english literature major). Imagine that you are the princess of Austria and you’re bored of mummifying your husband’s heart and you decide to buy the man who would become arguably the world’s most famous wizard. this happened in real life. And what he decided to do was kiss her ass with his entire mouth. To that end, he wrote a torturously funny ted talk about how god made women better than men. Here are some reasons: women don’t drown in water because they’re fatter than men, but when women DO drown they do it face down so no one will see their boobs. Menstrual blood cures epilepsy and depression and can extinguish fires (????). all eagles are female (?????) and god created women last so he had tons of practice by then. This is the holy grail of bitchy footnotes. So many of these are just “he made this up”. It’s so fun!! And it’s helpful to remember that people have always been making shit up.

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honorable mention: I read through the letters of Saint Hildegard of Bingen and I have to recommend this to everyone alive. I think she was in lesbian love so hard that that’s why she she wrote that shitty letter to the pope. but what do i know. she is also about 80% of the reason we know anything of what medieval medical knowledge was among women in europe. She also documented a ton of natural science.

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The Crone Wars by Lydia M. Hawke

Now i have to admit i didn’t read all these. I did read the first one but this author’s priorities just don’t really align with mine, since these are ultimately straight romance novels. However, I wanted to show how long the series goes and what the titles are because I think they’re really fun. It was very cool to see what YA sensibilities look like with a 60 year old protagonist. This main character really reminded me of Usagi from Sailor Moon, which as a massive freak about sailor moon is not something I give out lightly, and I kept imagining events from this book as drawn by Riyoko Ikeda. After spending a little time with it, the manga panels just sort of happened in my mind and i recommend the experience. I do still want to draw some scenes from it sometime.

#did not include things by friends or friends of friends because it felt very strange to lump those in with usual reading

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audacityinblack · 6 months

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Day 4: Bodies and Minds

All Your Imperfections, Part 1 - Zevran

Summary: Healing is not about going back to who you were before, it's about how you grow around your wounds.

----

His head aches. It almost always aches nowadays. There are times when he can scarcely stand to be out in the sun for the blinding light and noise.

His ears ring, almost constantly. He's learned to work around it most of the time, but at night when it's quiet, it's all he hears, the ringing echo of a thousand screams, their last resonance before dying being preserved forever in his eardrums.

His eyes are sometimes bloodshot, always underscored with dark circles that stay even when he's in good health.

His throat doesn't quite work right. Sometimes things just come back up. He can't eat oranges anymore because they just taste like bile.

His shoulders and neck seem to always be aching nowadays. That never really went away after the rack, and falling two stories from Prince Azrin's castle window only seemed to make it worse. He was afraid he'd never walk again at first.

The muscle at the crook of his left elbow spasms. He's pretty sure that one came from the strappado.

His wrists hurt more in the cold. He only noticed it since coming to Ferelden.

His heart sometimes starts beating at breakneck speed for no reason. It distresses him greatly, and he is often afraid he will die when it happens.

His lungs can never take quite a full breath, and there are times when he cannot draw breath at all. If he laughs too hard, he coughs.

His stomach and intestines are nervous and fitful, with every possible ailment one could imagine. They may churn with nausea, or burn with bile, or ache with tension and hunger, sometimes all at the same time.

What happens with his colon, he prefers not to think about.

There is a perpetual tightness in his right hip that often has him limping back to camp at the end of a grueling mission and wanting only to have supper and rest.

Both of his knees are swollen, and it was only when Wynne joined the party that he was able to find some relief from them.

His ankles and feet are all but his entire livelihood. Despite the constant, often burning pain in his feet, he must still stay light and nimble on them to survive. Should he lose his ability to walk, he fears he will lose his ability to make a living. At least, as an assassin. He figures he can still at least make a living as a prostitute somewhere - walking isn't needed in such lines of work.

The only thing that does work as the Maker intended is his manhood.

He feels like a rusty collection of dwarven machinery some days, a struggle to even maintain and operate. A worn out tool long past its usefulness, lucky to even be kept.

But Albine still smiles when she sees him, whether he's full of energy and fighting fit, or he's hobbling to his tent, too sore to smile, too hungry to laugh.

She brings him cups of elfroot and spindleweed tea for his headaches and aching joints, and rubs magical heat into his shoulders.

When his heart tries to outrun him and his lungs are breathless, she fills him with a magic that stills his mind and strengthens his body.

She keeps his stomach full of hearty meals, and eases his many symptoms with potions and tinctures, so the only thing he feels is the satisfaction of being well-fed and the comfort of her arms around his waist and her head on his chest.

He wraps his spasming arm and aching hands around her, pulling her close to his trembling heart and gasping chest, and presses lips that cover pain-clenched teeth against her cheek. He shifts his posture slightly so his knees don't ache as much.

His eyes drift shut and he nearly falls asleep, only to jerk awake right before he dozes off. The voices disappear and only the Warden remains, her hand still lazily stroking his belly and her own eyes half closed.

"You'll make it next time..." she whispers with a lazy croak.

His heart skips a few beats and flutters, but it's not that awful, silent-panic feeling this time. It soon slows into a gentle crescendo, beating softly.

His chest swells with one full breath after another, held for measured seconds in a pattern the Warden taught him.

His digestion rumbles softly under Albine's warm hand. Tomorrow, that stew will be a killing stroke against a Darkspawn, or an agile climb to a good lookout point, or another few moments of sensual delight.

He has a tendency to moan softly, right at the moment he falls asleep. Not a sexual or painful sound, but a sigh of utter comfort.

#zevran #zevwarden week 2023 #zevwarden

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heartburstings · 1 month

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list of pokemon i would eat. u guys like dunmeshi now so u can't judge me for thinking abt eating pocket freaking monsters. or do idc. u can also join in this fun imagination game with me by going to bulbapedia and clicking on any pokemon and looking at the biology and pokedex sections <3

you would think farfetch'd but farfetch'd is endangered from too many people eating it. so i wouldn't. but if it wasn't endangered i would eat it. it comes with its own vegetable for chrissakes c'monnn

paras. its mushrooms have medicinal properties also it's not a crab it's a bug so i can eat it. its body is perfectly proportioned w mushroom n meat. you would think i would choose parasect over paras but i would not. paras is easier to defeat and more abundant too. and parasect is like 90% mushroom. i would kill a parasect if i was really low on veggies i guess. or if i was having a hotpot

shellder. you cook that sucker up and you can pull him out the shell by the tongue mmmmm. i just think it'd be a really fun experience (<- this guy just recently found out he is not allergic to shellfish)

on that note none of the crab pokemon. these are the easy options but i am allergic.

the vanillite evolution chain. i don't care. put syrup and/or chocolate on them due to no flavor tho.

i would not eat a happiny evolution chain egg. they need those. if the pokemon were dead with the egg though then i maybe would. i don't know that feels like a lot of protein. hotpot dish?

froakie evolution chain. i don't care i love frog legs

tropius for the fruits. the body is humongous i would not eat that. holiday feast if it died though

stantler. its tail is huge i imagine it to have the same consistency as a duck's heart but large and sliceable and chewable for longer. and even if it isn't its tail is huge. i am so curious.

slowking. i would use his crown as a soup container like how some people use crab shells for presentation. but it's not presentation bc upside down it is perhaps the most unstable bowl ever. you would need to set it up to stay stable over a fire and you could hotpot it. same goes for slowbro ig. i would not eat them without a lot of veggies and stuff tho.

i would have a pokemon that knows scald btw. make cooking go faster by already having boiled water. that's just a free tip from me for you to be able to never use ever at all.

hoppip and skiploom. living salad . "but wynn isn't every grass type a living salad?" that's dangerous talk. budew evolution line for example would definitely kill you if you ate it without being careful. hoppip is plentiful and seems to spawn/live in groups however.

for that matter i think the more flowery pokemon would make a really pretty and good salad. flabebe's pollen (which makes up its crown) for example has medicinal properties. check if its flower is edible tho. also floette's flower is thought to have terrifying power which sounds dangerous so don't eat that. for that matter don't eat anything further along the flabebe evolution line i think it's too life risky to be worth it. and you can't even eat their flowers. comfey's flower ring (the flower ring is not part of its body). you could eat comfey itself but like... you get a forever flower salad. its vine is canonically highly nutritious and the flowers gain healing effects. you should not eat comfey salad when in caves or other flowerless areas tho bc it gets nervy without a flower ring.

similarly slowpoke tails grow back plus they secrete a sweet sappy substance. so.

fire type pokemon are complicated. sometimes their internal temperature is canonically definitely hot enough to cook it alive so i think you should assume you can't really cook it? is it just forever raw? i assume they CAN be eaten because you can't tell me scovillains don't get snacked on in the wild. but are they edible for humans??? anyway i'd eat a scovillain. only part of it though i'd save most of it cos yum spice. i'd use the whole head or perhaps even both the heads for a hotpot tho. a lot of pokemon are huge and eating them would logically usually be a group endeavor.

tangela. its tentacles are canonically said to have a refreshing flavor and scent and its vines are used as herbs. this probably means that they grow on/around tangela and are not actually part of tangela esp since the vines snap off easily if grabbed so it can run away. would probably go well with comfey flowers.

shuckle produces juices by storing berries (well any organic materials but mostly berries) in its shell and you best believe i am going to have The Blender Turtle on my team. especially if one of my pokemon has the pickup ability??? come on bro

i would not eat a rotom btw but i would have the fridge form rotom for preserving food. "oh wynn what about the one that's a microwave oven?" you don't even need fire type pokemon to start a fire and you want me to have a portable freaking oven when i can have a fridge? a fridge that will never break down? that is somehow both portable and large? would YOU give that up if you were traveling? be so honest. of course if something in the fridge itself gets problems somehow--esp the "special motor" which brings about the change in rotom (rotom can only possess/change specific appliances; the washing machine model that rotom possesses for example has been discontinued and the price has skyrocketed, which is so weird you'd think washing machine companies would start making a rotom compatible washing machine the same way we have electric washing machines? even if folks don't put a rotom in it they can still sell it while also appealing to trainers? idfk), so if that breaks you're definitely paying probably a lot to replace any parts. (<- this guy is normal about household appliances.)

i would eat a legendary any legendary. wynnie don't care.

lotad. it comes with its own vegetable and it gathers around lakes with good quality water so if i see it i know the water there is safe to drink and consume too.

azurill evolution line. the ball on its tail is packed with nutrients as an azurill, and full of oil as a marill and presumably as an azumarill. these will therefore play different roles in cooking but is valuable info nonetheless.

swablu evolution line would be soooooo aesthetic. don't make soup with them tho bc if the wings are in water too long they lose their fluffiness. they'd still be edible they just wouldn't be as aesthetic.

cherubi evolution line. self explanatory. it's freaking berries

applin evolution line. also self explanatory. it's freaking apples. u have to be careful with flapple of course (its cheeks store acid capable of corroding metal) but still.

ok one more. cramorant. esp cramorant gorging form (i am allergic to gulping form)

#wynn speaks #pokemon

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arlathvhenan · 8 months

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Complete hypothetical here but I’ve been thinking a lot about how exactly the new protagonist in Dreadwolf might end up front and center in events that will shake the fate of the entire world. This isn’t so much a theory as it is a neat ‘what if’ because my writer brain cannot turn down a chance to wildly theorize.

So we know Spirits and Fade are going to be crucial the plot of the next game. Elf, Spirit, Demon, or *whatever* Solas is, we know for certain that he’s both native to the Fade and a God Tier Dreamer. More importantly, he’s said that taking down The Veil will have to be done from within The Fade itself.

So regardless of what side your PC takes, wether you want to save him or just stop him, confronting him in The Fade is likely to be inevitable.

Another interesting thing to note is that we know from play tester leaks that even non-mage classes will have the capacity to use *some* amount of magic.

Now how would both of these things be accomplished? Well, we know that using magic requires a person to have some form of connection to The Fade. We also know that benevolent Spirits have sometimes possessed the bodies of the dying to give them a second chance at life, like Wynne from Origins and the Templar Evangeline from Cole’s backstory.

Let’s suppose the protagonist, regardless of race/class/origin gets fatally wounded at the beginning of the game. A benevolent Spirit revived them. From here on, the PC has strange dreams at night. This would be especially interesting for a Qunari or Dwarf, as they are allegedly not capable of dreaming. And not only does the protagonist dream, but they begin to lucid dream. In essence, having a Spirit within them has given them the abilities of a Dreamer.

As not only a Dreamer but one with basically their own built in GPS for navigating The Fade, the PC would have a significant leg up on anyone else trying to hunt down information on The Dreadwolf. They would also have the plot armor of being inhabited by a Spirit, one who chose to do so of their own free will. Given how viciously protective Solas is of Spirits, I can’t imagine he’d want to hurt anyone harboring one so long as that Spirit was not bound by force. Especially if the Spirit happened to be one of Wisdom or Compassion, as he has a special affinity for them.

Having the guidance of a benevolent Spirit could prove an asset in further ways, as well. Spirits as entities are unfathomably old, can quite literally see into the depths of a person’s soul—their feelings, fears, strengths, weaknesses, memories. One of the stories in Tevinter Nights stresses the importance of discovering Solas’ real name—his first and truest identity.

Having help from a Spirit would be pretty useful there. If at any point you do have to face him in combat, a Spirit’s knowledge and abilities would probably also be incredibly helpful, there too. And if you do decide to try and reason with Solas—which is probably how you get the ‘good’ ending—he may be more inclined to listen to you should you have the wisdom of a Spirit to support your reasoning.

Again, this is all half speculation and half thought exercise. One of the biggest challenges a writer faces when dealing with ‘Fate Of The World’ stuff.

#solas dragon age #solas dread wolf #dragon age dreadwolf #dragon age theories #[insert Dreadwolf protagonist here]

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green-ray-blog1 · 5 months

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The Circle

The circle does not have its shit together. Apparently, there are "abominations" everywhere in the tower and this Greagoir guy is waiting for Templar reinforcements to "annul" the circle, which is the polite way of saying they'll kill everyone in there, wether they've been possessed or not. This is horrible. Greagoir won't hear anything about trying to help the people left inside, so it's up to us. There are mages, including children not twenty meters from the door Greagoir is keeping shut, this is ridiculous. We meet Wynne, who's trying to do the right thing, here, and will be coming along. She seems reliabl- Okay Morrigan, can you not antigonize her, please.

The templars weren't lying, to be fair, the tower is crawling with demons, abominations and hostile mages. Apparently, they're blood mages, which is something bad, although Darrian's not quite knowledgeable enough about magic to really get how. One of them begs for her life after having tried to kill us. Again, not eager to kick someone who's already down, and the Circle looks like the kind of place anyone would dream of ditching. The living conditions look better than in the Alienage, but at least, Darrian could see the sky for most of his life.

According to notes we find, there are some serious ideological conflicts within the Circle, could this be related to what's going on ? This guy called Uldred, seems to come up a lot. He seemed to be egging some mages to try blood magic only to denounce them to the first enchanter, Irving, who would then deliver them to templars to show they're doing a good job watching the mages. This is terrible, Darrian can't imagine something like that happening in the Alienage. It almost feels like mages are as suspicious of each other as they're wary of the templars. Is this the usual state of things in circles ?

#dragon age origins #warden tabris

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