TAKE CARE OF YOU [8A]
Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader
Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)
Chapter Word Count: 12,502
Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?
[a/n: part one of two! hope you enjoy, if you do let me know your fav part 😘]
Chapter Specific Warning: mentions of attempted sexual assault (not reader), mild violence, mentions of past significant violence, gambling
08: I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE TROUBLE
"the right person for you will be protective of your heart like it's second nature to them." -bliss
The Wynn resort in Las Vegas was a curved bronze hotel right on the strip. The hot Nevada sun seemed to make the building glow, and it only got prettier once you stepped inside. The entire space had glassy, marble floors decorated with splashes of color. Gardens sat inside with trees wrapped in lights and figures of flowers stood out. The atrium itself had spheres of flowers hanging from the trees and you found yourself in awe of the space. Joel had been right. You really liked this place.
“Sugar.” You turned at Joel’s voice, tearing your eyes away from the view, and when you spotted Joel he stood a few feet away with his phone lifted and aimed in your direction. An amused grin flickered across your features as he hummed at his phone. “Hm, yeah. That’s a keeper.”
“You took a picture of me?” You chuckled.
Joel closed the space so he was beside you. “How could I not? You’re gorgeous.” You felt your cheeks heat at his words. Joel stuck his phone into his pocket before offering you his arm. When you looped yours through his, a familiar stance for the two of you, he began to lead you away. “They’re taking our bags upstairs.” He had already reassured you on the way here that though the two of you were sharing a suite it was one with two separate rooms for sleep arrangements. Just as you told Nima, you found yourself both relieved and disappointed.
Feelings were confusing.
“Hungry?”
“I could eat.” You nodded.
“Good. I know a place.”
Said place ending up being a cafe in the casino resort that served a late brunch. When Joel spoke to the host there was no need to ask for a wait time or place his name down. They gave him the choice of indoor or outdoor then walked you in immediately after he chose the outdoor option. The table they offered the two of you was a cute two person seating arrangement on the covered patio under a fan and in view of the elaborate pool. More gardens surrounded the pool itself in the forms of immense and impressive shrubbery and garden paths. The seating around the pool consisted of red and white chairs separated by curtain cabanas that you couldn’t even begin to imagine the price of.
“Do you come to Vegas often?” You asked after a waitress came by and took your orders.
“No. Just for this conference.” Joel shrugged. “It’s an annual thing.” You asked what the conference was about. In all honesty, you didn’t care too much about the specific lectures or meetings he had coming up, but you’d never pass on the opportunity to listen to him talk. “Mostly meetings between different companies. A way to network and bump elbows. A few lectures from some big names on the trendin’ topics in the contractin’ world.”
You beamed at him with a nod. “Very exciting.” Joel chuckled. “How busy is it gonna keep you?”
“Well tomorrow I’ll be busy for most of the mornin’ and afternoon, but I’m free in the evenin’. Then Sunday I have one last meetin’ in the mornin’ and I figure we can do somethin’ in the afternoon before headin’ back home on the jet.”
You leaned forward on the table, head resting on your fists, “And today?”
Joel’s lips curled into a smile that brightened all of his features. It was your favorite look on him. Forget the flannel or the expensive suits, it was that damned smile that put butterflies in your belly. You weren’t sure how a devastatingly handsome older man could also look so boyish and adorable while wearing that charming smile, but by God you were obsessed.
“Today?” Joel reached across the table and brushed his rough fingers against the side of your arm. In response, you let your arm fall from where it held up your head and tangled your fingers with his. Joel squeezed your hand. “Today I’m all yours, sugar.”
You liked the sound of that.
The two of you just enjoyed your uninterrupted time together. When your meal was over, Joel rose and helped you up as well. He didn’t hesitate to pull you close, looping your arm through his, and leading you back toward the lobby. “So,” You leaned into him, “Do we have plans for today?”
“We do.” Joel nodded. “Startin’ with an afternoon poolside.”
Your eyebrows raised in excitement. “Pool?” He hummed in confirmation. You smirked, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me in one of those new swim suits you bought me, daddy.” Standing this close to him, you could see the slight flush of red creep up from the collar of his shirt as he cleared his throat. Joel shot you a dry look. “What’s wrong? Are you getting a little hot under the collar?”
Joel cleared his throat, “You’re trouble, sugar.” He leaned in and suddenly pressed his lips to the side of your head. It was such a chaste and quick moment, yet it stopped your heart in your chest. He left his lips close enough to murmur, “Luckily, I know how to handle trouble.”
“I, uh, I…”
“What’s wrong?” Joel pulled back enough so you could see his smug grin, “Are you gettin’ a bit hot?”
You swallowed, involuntarily, and Joel took that as his victory. He chuckled and dragged you toward the elevators. Your suite was near the top floor of the resort, and when Joel pushed the door open for you the first thing that greeted you was the expansive window that made up the entirety of the wall. Your jaw popped open in shock and your feet carried you closer to the window. The room itself was gorgeous with decor of white and gold, you had never stayed in a hotel room that had an actual living room before, but you could only focus on the view of the Nevada mountains out in the distance. When you reached the glass, you peered down the dizzying drop to where you had a view of the pool and the golf course.
“So pretty…” You mumbled in awe. You spun in place to meet Joel’s gaze, “Isn’t this incredible?”
“Yeah,” Joel nodded. His arms were crossed and you could feel his eyes trace you from head to toe and back up. “Some view.” He kept his gaze on you for a beat while walking toward one of the side doors. Joel opened it and peered in then you heard him curse. “Fuck.”
Curiously, you walked around the couch toward him, “What’s wrong? Did they lose our bags?” You stepped beside him to see what it was that had raptured his attention the way it did, and your eyes landed on the singular Queen sized bed in the center of the bedroom. “Oh.”
“Son of a⏤ I am so sorry.” Joel said quickly before you could push out another word. “I’m gonna fix this.” He went further into the room and grasped the phone at the bedside to immediately bring it up to his ear. A beat passed and he was obviously connected to the front desk. “Hello?”
Your eyes drifted back to the bed and you felt your cheeks warm at the thought of sharing the same bed with Joel Miller. Speaking of the man, he was still arguing over the line and from the sounds of it the argument was not going his way. He seemed desperate to fix this problem and you worried that meant he was desperate to avoid sleeping in the same bed as you.
“No, no, I⏤ I understand that. But I⏤” Joel paused, his jaw locked, and then he pinched the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed irritably. “I said I understand that. No, I⏤ Yeah. Thanks anyways.” He hung up the phone and turned back to face you entirely. You shot him a sheepish smile. Joel’s irritation melted into worry and he held his hands up. “I swear, this was not my intention, darlin’. I booked a room with two beds.” Your eyes widened in understanding. Joel was worried you thought he was trying to take advantage. It was a laughable thought that had never even occurred to you⏤ not Joel. Some would call you naive to have such faith in a sugar daddy you hadn’t known for all that long, but it couldn’t be helped. Somehow, you just knew. “The Wynn doesn’t have any other two bed suites available but we can try a different resort or⏤”
“Joel.” You interrupted his nervous rambling and reached out to set your hand on his forearm. “It’s okay. Accidents happen.” Joel’s shoulders seemed to relax. “And as for the, uh, bed situation… I don’t mind.” The words tumbled from your lips slowly, awkwardly even, and Joel just stared. Quickly, you tried to scramble and clarify. “I just mean, it doesn’t bother me to share. We’re both, you know, adults. We can⏤ We can sleep beside one another without issue.” Joel just continued to stare and you were beginning to regret bringing it up at all. You felt silly. In a poor attempt to break the tension, you joked, “I promise I don’t kick in my sleep. I think.”
Joel set his hand on top of yours and squeezed reassuringly. “Of course we can. But, I don’t want you to feel… pressured to just accept this situation.” He spoke firmly leaving no room for argument in his voice. “If even the smallest part of you feels uncomfortable in any way please tell me. We could go to a different resort or, I mean, if you really wanna stick with this place I could get us separate rooms.”
“Really, Joel.” You replied with just as much finality in your voice as he placed in his. “I’m okay with this. It’s not a big deal.” You motioned toward the bed in question. “It’s a big bed.”
Joel let out a small sigh and shook his head. “I’m a… big guy.”
Your eyes couldn’t help but trace Joel’s broad shoulders and tall frame. “As long as you’re comfortable with it too.” Joel held your gaze then gave a nod. A small smile filling his features. “Now, can we get ready for the pool?”
“Yeah. Course.” Joel chuckled and lifted your hand to press his lips against your knuckles.
You had only just gotten used to holding his hand without feeling flustered, and now Joel was pulling out the big guns with these chaste kisses. The smug son of a bitch knew it too based on the smile he wore. Joel handed you your bag and you carried it into the bathroom to change. In your lifetime, you had gotten ready for a pool day God knows how many times. This was one of the first times you felt so nervous though. You loved your body and felt comfortable in your skin, but at the end of the day you were still a human with anxiety. You still couldn’t help that you wanted Joel to look at you and like what he saw.
At the very least you knew he’d like the swim suit itself since he was the one who had been there to buy it for you. Quickly, eager to get to the pool with Joel, you traded your travel clothes for the swim suit and pulled on the matching, thin robe-like cover that he bought with it⏤ leaving it open rather than tying it closed in the front. Then you spent another few minutes checking your appearance in the mirror and adjusting little things like your hair or where the swim suit sat. Finally, when you knew there was nothing left to check, or obsess over, you stepped out of the bathroom.
Joel wasn’t in the bedroom anymore. You set your bag aside and wandered out into the living room following the sound of his voice. He must have gotten changed out in the bedroom while you were in the bathroom. Joel had changed into swim shorts and a white t-shirt. The shorts were dark navy at the top half and a pale yellow on the lower half. You found you couldn’t stop staring because with the way he lounged on the couch, legs spread wide while talking on the phone, you could see his thick thighs. The sight of a man’s thighs should not make you feel so feral, and yet…
“No, the contract needs to be done by then. We can…” Joel’s voice trailed to a stop and your eyes snapped up from his thighs to see he was gawking at you. You bit down on your lower lip to try and mute the wide grin that threatened to fill your features. You raised a questioning eyebrow at him. Joel nodded. “You’re a goddamn vision, sugar.” There was no chance at hiding your grin now at his compliment. Joel jumped suddenly in surprise, eyes widening, as his attention went back to the phone he forgot he had been holding. “No, no. Not you, idiot.” You laughed and Joel’s cheeks burned. “Oh, bite me, Tommy.”
Joel hung up the phone and pointed it in your direction while standing up. “That’s your fault.”
“My fault?” You chuckled. “How’s that?”
“How’s that?” He scoffed, but his smile didn’t falter. Joel closed the space so he could reach out and lightly pinch your chin. “Walkin’ in here lookin’ like a work of art.” He shook his head. “Tommy ain’t ever gonna let me live that down.”
Joel’s eyes drifted down your frame again and you felt the back of your neck grow warm. You cleared your throat and his eyes snapped back to you. You smirked. “What’re you staring at, Joel?”
His hand fell away from your cheek to brush his fingers against the sunflower charm hanging from your neck. Joel hummed, “Just this pretty, little necklace, sugar.” You shook your head, amused. Joel stepped away to grab a simple back book bag that he slung over one shoulder. “Now, come on. Pool time.”
Rather than walk you down to the Wynn Resort’s pool, Joel led you to the neighboring resort’s pool. The Encore was identical to the Wynn from the outside and sat right beside it as its sister resort. As you traveled, Joel kept his fingers intertwined with yours. Every time he flexed his grip, you glanced down at where the two of you were connected. It was beginning to feel like your hand was shaped just to fit in his.
“So how come we don’t just stay at the Wynn?” You asked.
“The Encore is newer, and I think you’ll like the pool better here.” Joel replied. You had no room to question his judgment. So far, he was spot on because the interior of the Wynn was much prettier than the interior of the Encore in your opinion. “Plus, this is an adults only pool so we won’t have to worry about any yellin’ or splashin’.”
The moment the two of you stepped outside, you were greeted by a more modern looking pool with chairs and decor in shades of white and a bold red. Palm trees decorated the area and the floor was painted with the design of curling sun rays surrounding the pool. There was even a second story of chairs and lounges. Honestly, Joel either knew you better than you thought he did or the man was a good guess because this was much nicer than the Wynn’s pool. Joel squeezed your hand and you turned to see him watching you. He raised his eyebrows in question and you laughed again.
“Alright, alright. It’s a nice pool but don’t look so smug about it.” You replied. You glanced over the space, “Do you see any open chairs we can grab?”
“Yeah, I do.” Joel nodded, “Come on.”
Unsurprisingly, the pool was packed with people and Joel pulled you closer to his side so he could set his hand on your back while leading you through the throngs of people. You tried to spot the chairs he spoke of, but after a beat you realized he was leading you to one of the fancy looking cabanas. It was an open room built on the lower floor of the two story piece right by the poolside. A red curtain was hanging and draped open and inside was a couch, flat screen television, and a cabinet with a bottle of champagne sitting in an ice bucket on top. There were even two lounge chairs that could be dragged out into the space directly in front of the cabana where the sun was shining. Your eyes widened, “No way.”
Joel let go of your hand to step into the cabana and set his bag down on the couch. You slowly drifted in behind him and realized the little cabana was even filled with cool air from a large fan overhead. Joel pulled the champagne from the ice and you watched as he cracked it open with ease.
“How much was this, Joel?” You asked.
“Hey,” Joel chided as he turned with two flutes of cold champagne. He handed you one with a shake of his head, “What was the rule we talked about on the way here, sugar?”
During the plane ride to Vegas, Joel told you he didn’t want you asking how much anything cost during the trip. You chuckled and replied teasingly, “Sorry, daddy.” Joel lightly tapped the edge of his flute against yours and you followed his lead in taking a sip. “Mmm. That’s amazing.”
“Only the best for my sugar baby.” Joel replied, making you laugh.
You took another long swig from the flute then motioned to his bag, “Did you grab my sunscreen?” Joel set his flute down to dig through his bag then pulled out the sunscreen you had brought. You had asked him to toss it in with his stuff to keep from having to bring a bag of your own. “Thanks!”
Joel dropped down to sit on the couch. He rested an arm on the back of it with a content smile while staring at you. Biting back any nervous energy that bubbled in your chest, you shrugged out of your thin robe and began to put on the sunscreen. Knowing his gaze was on you, you rubbed it in methodically and tried not to let it be obvious that the butterflies in your belly were threatening to overwhelm you. When you got every spot you could reach with ease, you turned and held the bottle out to Joel, “Can you get my back?”
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected you to ask. Joel sat up and threw back the last of his champagne before taking the bottle. He stood up and you turned around. Luckily, not having to face Joel made the action much easier. Joel stood close enough that you could feel his warm breath on your neck and despite the hot weather you felt goosebumps rise on your skin. Joel’s hand settled on your lower back first and he was careful with the application. He rubbed it in your skin, but he did so in a way that made you feel like you were made of glass. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to complain because the more careful he was the slower he worked, and the slower he worked the longer you had his rough hands against your skin.
“There.” Joel hummed. His voice sounded more hoarse than it did when he started. “All protected, sugar.”
You glanced over your shoulder to meet his gaze, “Thanks, daddy.” You meant to say the words playfully, but instead they fell out in a soft near whisper. There was a beat of silence between the two of you and you forced yourself to shake out of the trance Joel had you in. “Um. Can you help me drag the lounge chairs out into the sun?”
Joel cleared his throat and nodded, “I can do you one better.”
He grabbed the back of his shirt’s collar to pull out of his shirt and your eyes involuntarily raked down his body. Joel was built strong. From his broad shoulders to the bit of belly he had, it all screamed strength and sturdiness. He tossed his shirt aside then grasped your hand to lead you out, but you dug your heels in to stop him. Joel shot you a curious look.
“You didn’t put on any sunscreen.” You said.
Joel furrowed his brow, “I don’t need sunscreen.”
“You don’t need sunscreen?”
“I’m a big, strong man.” Joel replied teasingly before trying to pull you out of the cabana again.
You tugged him back. “Hey, big strong man, in a fight against the sun you’re gonna lose.” Joel groaned and rolled his eyes in good nature but he allowed you to pull him all the way back in. You made him hold your flute so you could grab the bottle of sunscreen. Quickly, before you lost your nerve, you squirted a glob of sunscreen in your hand and began to rub it into Joel’s skin. He squirmed under your touch and you shot him a mocking glare, “Hey, stay still.”
“Bossy.” Joel snorted.
“Do you like it better when I’m bossy or bratty?” You asked with a cheeky grin. Joel’s lips pulled up into a smile, but he didn’t offer an answer. You used the last bit of sunscreen on your hands to rub onto his features and you finished with your hands on the side of his face. You squished his cheeks together. “There. All protected.”
Joel suddenly turned his face and playfully nipped at your hand with his teeth. You gasped in surprise and he laughed. “Now that we’re safe from the sun, let’s go.” He tangled his fingers with yours and offered you back the flute of champagne you hadn’t finished yet. With a sip, you let him drag you out into the sun. He walked you up to the poolside and stopped at the edge. In the shallow parts of the pool, sitting in the water, were circular cushioned beds with an umbrella situated in the middle of each one. By each beside was a circular stand where drinks could be placed to rest. You stared at, gaping probably, and Joel leaned in toward your ear. “That’s ours too.”
“Seriously?” You asked in surprise. Joel nodded. The urge to ask how much it cost came to mind, but you bit back the words and just grinned instead. Joel walked down the few steps into the shallow water and held your hand to aid you in. “You know,” The cold water came up just past your ankles and you waded with Joel to the daybed reserved for the two of you, “I could get used to this ‘having money’ thing.”
Joel chuckled and dropped down on the bed. He lounged on his back, hands folded behind his head, and stared at you as you settled in beside him. You chose to lay on your belly so you could continue to sip on your champagne.
“Thank you. For all of this.” You said sincerely. Briefly, you chewed on your lower lip then gave a small shrug, “I haven’t had a pool day in nearly a year let alone go on an actual vacation.”
Joel shook his head, “Thank you for comin’ with me, darlin’. You’re doin’ me the favor.”
The two of you just relaxed, letting the heat seep into your skin, and when you were on your last sip of champagne a poolside waitress walked over with a smile to see if the two of you needed any drinks. Joel sat up and ordered two frozen drinks. You chuckled, “You’ve kept a drink in my hand since the moment we landed.” You tilted your head. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to get me tipsy, Joel.”
“Me? Never. I’m a gentleman.” Joel shook his head. He smirked and nodded toward you. “Besides, you’ve already felt me up, and I didn’t even need to get you tipsy.”
Your eyes widened and you reached out to give him a light shove, “I was not ‘feeling you up’. I was saving you from a future of being a leathered, sun shriveled old man.”
“If that’s what you gotta tell yourself.” Joel shrugged.
You laughed and Joel began to lay back down. Before he could get comfortable, you pointed to the umbrella, “Wait, can you close the umbrella?” Joel shot you a confused look as if you were crazy for asking. You shrugged. “I just want some sunshine for a little bit.”
“You’re all the sunshine we need right now.” Joel said and reached out to pinch your cheek.
“That is an adorable excuse.” You spoke despite him pinching your cheek, and Joel chuckled before reaching up to close the umbrella. Bright sunlight immediately rained down on the two of you and the direct warmth on your skin made you beam happily. As hot as it was, you probably wouldn’t be able to stand the sunlight for very long, but it felt nice for the time being.
Joel grunted and rolled over onto his belly so he could keep the sun out of his eyes, “What do you say?” You slid a pair of sunglasses on and laid on your back while humming⏤ pretending to think of what answer he might want. Joel propped himself up just enough to rest one of his arms on your other side so he was leaning over you. You sucked in a sharp breath at his close proximity, and he raised an eyebrow at you. “Manners, sugar.”
“Thank you, daddy.” You cooed.
“Good girl.”
You tightened the fluffy, white robe that the Wynn resort left you in the suite’s bathroom then stepped out fresh and clean, “Joel! I’m done with the shower.” The two of you had stayed out at the pool until it closed. Being out in the hot sun the entire afternoon had wiped you out, but Joel told you to get ready for a night out and you found your second wind. Joel wandered into the bedroom, and you groaned happily, “You’re in for a treat because the water pressure was incredible.”
“I would hope so.” Joel chuckled then his eyes narrowed skeptically. “Do you have bad water pressure in your apartment?”
“Uh…” You paused in thought. You had a feeling that if you confirmed that information then Joel would try to buy you a new apartment or something equally as wild. “...no?” Joel shot you a skeptical glance that made it clear he didn’t believe you. He disappeared into the bathroom, and you quickly called out. “Oh, wait! Pick a color, Joel!”
Without hesitation, Joel replied through the door, “Red!”
Excitedly, you shimmed off the bed to hurry over and dig out the red cocktail dress Joel had bought you for Vegas. Of the newest additions to your wardrobe, the red dress you had picked out was one of your favorites. You wondered if he remembered that. While Joel showered, you pulled out the ironing board to smooth out any of the wrinkles your dress had gotten during transit. It didn’t take much and you were about to put away the iron when you paused. Joel’s suitcase sat near yours in the room. You bit down on your lower lip for a beat before walking over to find a shirt for him.
You picked out a black button up shirt to match the black blazer he had already hung up. The ‘black out’ look on him just seemed like it would be clean and handsome. Not that you could picture many looks not looking incredible on him. The bathroom door opened and Joel stepped out in just a towel. The back of your neck warmed and you tried not to let your eyes linger. Obviously you had seen him shirtless poolside, but this felt more intimate.
“Why don’t you get changed in the bathroom and I can get ready out here⏤” Joel paused and pointed to the ironing board. You finished the last few passes of the iron over his shirt. “Is that mine?”
“Well, it’s not mine.” You replied and picked up his shirt to shake it a bit. You held it out to him with a broad smile.
Joel took the shirt from you and you were acutely aware of his lingering touch on your hand. “This my color for the night, sugar? Black?” You nodded with a wide grin. Joel gave you a nod of confirmation and you scooped up your dress to head to the bathroom. “Alright. Black and red it is.”
You glanced over your shoulder to allow yourself one last look of Joel and seeing the bare expanse of his back made your heart flutter in your chest. The image of it lingered in your mind even after you closed the door. You made the effort to commit it to memory.
It didn’t take you too long to get ready and it was in part due to how eager you were. Joel had been tight lipped the entire afternoon about the plans for the evening. No matter how much you pleaded or begged he wouldn’t even give you a hint. All you knew was that he had an entire night planned for the two of you. Not even accounting for the amount of money involved in all of this, the fact that Joel had the thought to plan a night for you was heartwarming. It was a reminder that your bar was set so low due to your last boyfriend. You had to plan nearly every single trip or date night, and you had convinced yourself you enjoyed it. Tricked yourself into thinking you preferred it that way instead of admitting that it was a problem.
You rubbed your hands down the front of your red dress⏤ smoothing it out and giving you something to do with your nervous energy. You stepped out of the bathroom, expecting Joel to be sitting in the living room waiting for you or on his phone, but your feet faltered at the sight of him sitting on the edge of the bed. Joel ran a hand over his jawline, fingers dragging through his scruff. He stood up and the two of you spent a quiet moment just staring at one another. Just as you knew it would, the black shirt and black suit combo was deadly on Joel. This time you beat Joel to the punch.
“Hot damn, Joel.” You grinned. He cleared his throat and the look on his face could only be described as flustered. Eager to flip the table on him and do what he always did to you, you walked to him and reached out to smooth his lapel, feeling his chest under it, “This is a real good look on you, daddy.”
The sound that left him, almost a choking noise at the back of his throat, made you feel smug. He shook his head slowly and didn’t let his eyes leave you for even a second. “Oh, sugar,” Joel hummed, “I don’t hold a flame to you. I just don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?” You asked.
“How every time I look at you, you somehow get even more breathtakin’.” Joel replied.
Heat rose in your cheeks and crawled up the back of your neck. Damn it all. Every time you think you had the tables flipped he managed to get the upper hand again. You let out a laugh and tried to hide how flustered you felt, “No fair.” Joel smirked as if he knew exactly what you were getting at. You gave his chest a slight push, but he caught your hands to hold them there. You shook your head, “Can you let me have the upper hand just one time?”
Joel breathed out a small laugh, and he opened his mouth to reply. However, he stopped himself and closed his mouth with an amused smile. You tilted your head curiously, but Joel just slipped his hand through yours. “Ready to go?”
“Do I get to know where we’re going now?”
“You’ll find out as soon as we get there.”
“Very funny.”
The same car that drove you from the airport to the Wynn also picked you up. When it came to the Vegas strip, there were some resorts that were within walking distance from where you were located, but Joel’s first plan of the night was not. You stared out the window marveling at the tall buildings covered in gigantic screens showcasing an ad or show. Even the sidewalks had plenty of things to watch. Tourists, showgirls, people performing, and some even dressed up in character suits. There was one rough looking Mickey Mouse the car passed that gave you a look into what the famous mouse’s life would look like if he got deep in the world of hard drugs.
“Oh,” You tore your eyes away from the window to look at Joel who sat beside you in the back of the car with his arm resting on the seat behind you, “Is that where they do that big fountain show?”
Joel nodded, “Bellagio. Yeah. We can stop and watch it later tonight. They do a show every thirty minutes I think.”
The car turned off the strip to a resort that sat just off it by a bit. The Aria. It looked as immense and fancy as any of the other resorts and was even shaped similarly to the Wynn and the Encore. Joel let his hand brush against the back of your neck and you knew he wanted you to stay in place while he climbed out. Seconds later, your door opened and Joel held out a hand to help you climb out.
“What’s so special about the Aria?” You asked.
Joel laced his fingers through yours and pulled you toward the resort doors. The lobby was a large open space with pillars, and your eyes landed on a wave of hand folded origami flowers in a gradient of red, pink, and orange hanging from the glass ceiling. You paused, jaw slightly open as you admired the sight, and Joel just waited patiently. Finally, you tore your eyes away from the origami flowers to look at him.
“We have dinner reservations here.” Joel answered.
You raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk, “We came all the way here just for dinner?”
Joel didn’t give you a reply, and you noticed he looked excited. You squeezed his hand and let him lead you deeper into the resort. In order to get where you were going, the two of you had to walk through the casino and it was fun to see the flashing lights and general buzz of excitement. The air smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, and there were different degrees of yelling and cheering. You were so caught up in your surroundings that you hadn’t noticed Joel and you reached your destination until he came to a stop.
You glanced at Joel who continued to beam at you, and then looked forward to where a simple arch sat with the word ‘CATCH’ written in bright, glowing letters above the top. It was what laid just beyond the arch that had your breath catch in your throat. The arch was the entrance to a tunnel and even from where you stood you could see the entire tunnel was made up of different flowers and glowing lights.
Joel leaned over, his lips close enough to your ear that you could feel his breath fan against your skin, “It didn’t feel right not bein’ able to get you a bouquet of flowers before dinner so I thought I’d just bring you to ‘em.”
You felt a visceral reaction to Joel’s words. Your throat tightened, and a part of you wanted to cry. It took every ounce of your self control to not actually let any tears fall. It was just so sweet and you felt so seen and cared for. “Joel.” You mumbled and turned your head to look at him. He was still lingering close to where he had whispered in your ear which left you dangerously close to his face. You swallowed, “Joel, this is…”
His eyes darted across your features, lingering at your eyes and lips, “Wanna take a closer look, sugar?”
Your face broke out into a face splitting grin and you nodded. Joel hesitated in place, taking in a slow breath, before pulling away so he could drag you through the arch. He let his own steps slow while you continued forward a bit. Your hand fell out of his, but your eyes were taking in the hanging flowers overhead and the colorful walls on either side of you. The air was filled with a sweet, floral scent and a soft, golden glow surrounded the space from the lights buried between the flowers. It took half a beat before you realized Joel wasn’t by your side, and you quickly turned in place to look for him. He stood a few feet back, hands in his pocket, just staring with a small smile on his face.
“What?” You asked with a laugh.
“Nothing.” Joel closed the space.
As soon as he was close enough, you looped your arm through his. The two of you took a few more steps down the wood panel path that led through the tunnel and a portion off to the side curved inward with a long half circle bench nestled against the wall and a wall of pink, orange, and red roses covering that indent of the wall.
“Oh!” You pulled him toward the bench and dropped down there with him beside you. “Can we take a picture?” You pulled your phone out. “Please?”
“I can take your picture for you.” Joel replied.
You shook your head and held onto his arm. “I want you to be in it too.”
Joel looked skeptical for only a moment. He never seemed the selfie kind to you, but he leaned in regardless. You lifted your phone to take a few snaps. Joel had one arm around your shoulders during most of the pictures, but near the end he used his other hand to cup the side of your face to pull him closer. Joel turned and pressed his lips to your temple and you managed to get a few snaps of that as well. Your chest was filled with so much warmth and happiness that you didn’t have the room to feel flustered.
You stood up with Joel and he tugged you to the end of the tunnel where a maitre’d stood waiting. The first part of the restaurant you could see was a large bar surrounded by people. Joel had the two of you pause by the front desk.
“Welcome Miller party.” The maitre’d asked. Joel nodded. “Your table is being cleaned off and prepared now. If you’d like to wait by the bar, your waitress will fetch you soon.”
“Thanks.” Joel dug through his coat pocket and you saw him pull out a few folded bills that he slipped into the other man’s hand. “And thank you for clearin’ the tunnel.”
“Of course, sir.”
It dawned on you then, and you glanced back to see the tunnel was now filled with small parties and couples. “Wait, did you pay him to let us be the only ones?”
Joel shrugged and rather than answer he stepped up to the bar with you by his side and ordered himself a glass of whiskey and your typical drink of choice. He kept one hand on the small of your back while you leaned against the bar. When the drinks came, Joel lifted his glass just high enough to allow you to tap yours against his. He winked as the glasses made contact, “Cheers, sugar.”
You moved to take a sip and your drink had only barely touched your tongue when a waitress came over calling out for Joel. He nodded for you to follow first so he could linger a step behind you with his hand on your waist. The table you were led to was a circular booth and it was one of the few tables decorated in excess. The booth looked like it was nestled inside a large bird cage with a broad open door, and woven between the metal bars were vines and string lights. You slid into the booth, setting your glass on the table to avoid spilling it, and Joel slid in after you.
“Joel, this place is…” You let out a breath, unable to grasp a word immediately, “...amazing. Thank you.”
“Stop thankin’ me for somethin’ I like doin’.” Joel chuckled. He draped his arm on the top of the booth behind you and let his fingers brush lightly against your shoulder.
“You like spending absorbent amounts of money on me?” You teased.
Joel leaned over a bit and lowered his voice, sincerity in his voice, “I like takin’ care of you.” It should probably concern how easily Joel was able to make your temperature rise. Literally all it took was a look, the sound of his voice, or just being in near proximity. He straightened back in his seat. “Now,” Joel picked up his glass and took a quick sip, “Is there anythin’ you always wanted to do while in Vegas?”
You hummed in thought. The fountains had already been mentioned. That seemed like a staple Vegas activity. “I wanna see a show.”
“Already on the agenda.”
“Wait, really?” Your eyes widened. “What show??” Joel just stared at you with a smug smile. You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a surprise.” You took a sip of your own drink. “I want to gamble.”
Joel chuckled, “Gamble?” You nodded. “Gamble how? Slots or a table game?”
“I want to play the one where you throw dice.”
“Craps.”
“Yeah, that!” You nodded. “Everybody does that while they’re in Vegas, right?”
“Fair enough.” Joel said. “Anythin’ else?”
Another thought came to mind, but it felt kind of silly. “There was this one other thing…”
“Name it, sugar.”
You scrunched your nose. “Can we go on the gondolas? I know it’s probably dumb since it’s not even a real river and it’s just inside one of those big resorts, but I don’t know… It looked kind of fun.”
Joel let out a breathy laugh before dropping his hand so instead of soft brushes he was able to squeeze your shoulder, “We can absolutely ride the gondolas.”
You bounced in your seat, excited, as Joel shook his head in amusement. The waitress came back to discuss the specials of the night. After a quick discussion, Joel ordered for the both of you. It was something you learned early on with the man. He enjoyed leading. Whether it be the obvious thing like paying for everything or having you wait in the car so he could open the door for you or ordering your food and drink for you. Joel just liked being in charge of the relationship and you had no qualms with that. Especially considering how careful and caring he was in the action. He paid attention to you, the things you did or the words you said, in order to take charge accordingly. As sad and pathetic as it was, Joel remembered more about you and your preferences than your ex-boyfriend did at the end of your relationship with him.
Content and at ease, you settled in your seat and let out a soft sigh.
The night went by too quickly for your liking. Dinner, just like everything with Joel, was easy. You had never met someone who made you feel so comfortable, so seen, so fast. And after he treated you to one of the best meals you ever had, the two of you traveled to the MGM resort for the show which turned out to be a show by the name of ‘KA’. Joel said he chose it off the recommendation of one of the business men he’d be working with in the morning, and it had been a solid choice. The show went beyond your expectations and you had already set them pretty high considering it was Cirque du Soleil and in Vegas. Then, rather than take the car, the two of you walked down the strip with your arm wrapped through his. The walk consisted of two stops, one at the fountains to watch the show, and the other at the Venetian resort to ride in the gondolas.
“Joel, this has literally been the greatest night ever.” You gushed while squeezing his arm. The two of you had walked from the Venetian back to the Wynn. His black suit jacket hung on your shoulders after he had given it to you during the gondola ride.
Joel chuckled, “Literally?”
“Yes.” You said. “I am being literal, thank you.”
“Well, sugar, you know me.” Joel lifted one of your hands to press his lips to the back casually. “Always happy to provide.”
He continued to lead you into the resort without even realizing how earth shattering his presence was to you. Joel kept your arm wrapped through his with his hand intertwined with yours and held to his chest. It was such an intimate gesture that he did so casually⏤ as if it were second nature to him. The urge to stop in your tracks and pull him into a kiss was nearly overwhelming. In fact, if you had maybe even one more drink tonight it would’ve been enough liquid courage to convince you. However, anxiety still plagued your mind. Logic tried to reign in your feelings and remind you of all the reasons this was a bad idea. Even if you ignored the nearly two decade large age gap between the both of you, there were still enough reasons for your brain to try and stop you.
If you could quiet your logical and turbulent mind for just a moment, just long enough to allow your heart to act, then maybe these fears and anxieties wouldn’t matter.
The two of you were walking through the casino to get to the elevators that would take you upstairs. You continued to stare while focusing on the circles his thumb was tracing on the back of your hand. God, you wanted this man. If he could make you feel so happy, so good about yourself, in public with innocent touches and glances, you wondered how incredible he could make you feel behind closed doors. You craved his touch, his rough hands grasping at all of you, and you were desperate enough to trade your soul just to feel his hot mouth exploring your skin.
Joel’s eyes suddenly met yours and you sucked in a sharp breath of surprise. Heat flooded your cheeks in embarrassment as if he could hear your sinful thoughts about him. Joel gave you a quick wink and nodded, “One last stop.”
He tugged you off the path that carved through the casino and onto the actual casino floor. The slot machines around you were a sea of colors, flashing lights, and whistling tunes. Servers drifted about bringing drinks to those sitting at the machines, but Joel led you past all of them. The two of you approached the section that had the table games, and you spotted the one with the dice.
“Oh!” You chirped in recognition. “We’re gonna play?”
“You said you wanted to.” Joel countered. The table wasn’t very crowded right now. Save for the casino employees, there was two other people standing around the table playing. You felt a sense of anxiety creep up your spine. You were vaguely aware that the rules for these table games were very strict and there were also unspoken rules of conduct. “Here.” Joel reached toward you and stuck his hand in the inner pocket of his jacket which hung off your shoulders. He fished out a few hundreds that you couldn’t help but stare at. Joel pushed two hundred dollars in your hand. “Just like me, sugar.”
He placed the bills on the table top with his ID card and you hurried to copy him. Between dice rolls, the man running the table pulled your bills toward him and began to prep your chips. You leaned over and whispered, “Joel, I have no idea how to play this.”
“It’s easy.” He reassured you. You glanced at the very confusing green felt covered in different words and numbers then back to him skeptically. Joel chuckled and tapped under your chin with his hand. “I promise.”
Joel began to point out different portions of the table, and between the warm honey tone of his words and the multiple drinks you had throughout the night, you were not following whatsoever. You stared at him, nodding every few seconds, while admiring the lines of his face. People wrote poems and sung praises about blue and green eyes, but you were convinced it was because those people were never blessed with the opportunity to gaze into Joel Miller’s eyes. There was a warmth in the dark color of his irises that felt like coming home after a long day in the cold. Your eyes flickered to a small bare spot in his scruffy jawline that vaguely resembled a heart and you resisted the urge to lean forward and place a kiss right there. Why else would the otherwise perfect man in front of you have that space in his beard if not for your lips?
“You’re not hearin’ a damn thing I’m sayin’, are you?” Joel teased.
You blinked in surprise and watched as his lips stretched into a bright smile, “Uh, I’m listening.”
“Right. What did I just say about the ‘Come bet’?”
“That…it’s… better than a ‘Leave bet’?” You joked.
Joel barked out a laugh and the sound made your stomach flip. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead. You were savoring the feel of his lips on your skin, when he turned you back to the table where a stack of chips were waiting for you. He slid two green chips into the box labeled ‘Pass Line’. You quickly mimicked his actions. Joel scooped up the dice, nodding at the man running the table, and then set them in your hands. “You’re the shooter, sugar.”
“Me?” Your eyes widened in worry.
“7 or 11.” Joel winked.
You took half a second to stand in shock at how your life had brought you to this point right here, and then you dove right in. You tossed the red dice and they bounced across the table before landing on a four and a three. The other two people at the table clapped their hands and Joel gave your elbow a squeeze.
The table slowly began to fill up, and you were a firm believer in the concept of ‘beginner’s luck’. You still only had a vague understanding of the game, but every time it was your time to be the shooter you were on a roll. It was exciting to have strangers cheering you on as well and as time passed you began to get more confident with how you tossed the chips around. Again, your knowledge on the actual rules were scarce, but you were pushing around higher number chips than Joel was. As the man running the table began to prep chips for a new player who settled in beside you, you turned to smirk at Joel.
“I’m doing pretty good.” You motioned to your decent stack of chips.
“Better than me.” Joel smirked.
Your pile was currently larger than Joel’s, but he seemed more concerned in keeping an eye on you than winning back his money. Teasingly, you leaned forward to let your lips linger by his ear, “If I win big, I promise to take care of you, baby.”
Joel laughed loudly and shook his head, “Just roll your dice.” You bounced in place just a bit before throwing the dice across the table. It landed on a total of seven which was not what you needed at the moment and it ended your roll. You groaned with the rest of the table, and Joel leaned into you this time. “Looks like I don’t need to worry none. Disappointed?”
“Nah.” You shook your head and locked your eyes with his. “I like being your sugar.”
“Good.” Joel’s dark eyes lingered on yours before dropping to your lips and bouncing back up. It was enough to make you release a small gasp, and he must have heard the sound because he smirked.
Your elbow suddenly brushed against something behind you, and it broke the spell. Joel leaned back and it was only then you realized how close the two of you had drifted toward one another. You cleared your throat and glanced at the man on your other side, assuming you had bumped into him while getting lost in the tempting vortex that was Joel, “I’m so sorry about that.”
“No, no. No worries, sweetheart.” The man replied. He was probably a few years older than you, if you garnered a guess, and he was decent looking but certainly not anything to write home about. Absolutely plain standing beside someone like Joel. He lifted his hand to your face, making you flinch, and opened his fist to reveal the dice, “Blow me?”
“What?” You blurted in shock.
“Watch it.” Joel snarled from behind you. His chest pressed against your side, and when you glanced over you saw the warmth in his eyes had turned dangerous. Not a comforting flame in the fireplace after a long day, but a raging wildfire licking at the edge of the forest⏤ threatening to destroy. Joel glared at the man and if looks could kill then he’d be struck down by now.
“I’m just talking about the dice.” The guy chuckled. He winked at you, and you blanched in disgust. “Relax.”
The rest of the table, including a few of his friends on the other side of him, began to goad him into rolling the dice. Joel was still stiff, and you set a hand on his forearm in hopes to calm him. Joel’s eyes snapped to yours and you watched the anger simmer. You gave him a reassuring smile. One stupid jerk wasn’t going to ruin the night for you. Joel nodded once and began to move around you. At first, you thought he was going to place himself in between you and the guy, but instead he settled behind you. Joel pressed his chest against your back, setting a hand on your abdomen to pull you closer, and then let his hands fall to the tables’ sides⏤ successfully blocking you in.
You couldn’t even focus on if Joel was still upset because every single ounce of your mind was redirected to keeping your body from spontaneously combusting. His stance around you was dizzying. Protective. Intimate. Possessive. Joel was stamping a claim on you, a warning to the man who accosted you, and you found it extremely attractive. Months ago, you would have firmly stated that you were a strong, independent woman who didn’t want nor need a man that took control or showed any signs of being overprotective. However, you would commit atrocities if it meant hearing Joel call you his.
Joel leaned his head down on your shoulder just enough to whisper, “You alright, sugar?”
Other than possibly going into a heart arrhythmia from his proximity, you were just fine, “Yeah. I’m okay, Joel. Don’t worry.” You felt him nod and then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the side of your neck. You audibly gasped, “Oh God.”
“What was that?” Joel asked.
“Nothing.” You blurted. His head was still hovering over your shoulder and you stayed stock still to avoid accidentally brushing any part of you against him. You heard Joel chuckle lightly before he straightened his posture.
With Joel nearly wrapped around your body, it was easy to fall back into ease as the game went on. You weren’t really winning much more money, but you also weren’t significantly losing either. Just bouncing back and forth enough to maintain the same amount of chips. Between that and the feel of Joel’s breaths on your neck, you were ready to call it a night.
You turned your head to speak to him and realized how close he still stood then. Your nose was only an inch or so away from brushing against his jawline. You swallowed the lump in your throat and found the courage to not pull away. “Can we call it a night? Go back to the room?”
Joel turned his head and the slow way his jawline ended up rubbing against the top of your nose softly seemed deliberate. He gave you a small smile and nodded. “Course.” Joel held his position for a beat more before pushing away from you so he could speak to the man running the table. “We’re out.”
You took in a shuddering breath as Joel got the chips converted to the highest amount possible so it’d be easier to carry. Your anxiety had a bad habit of making you overthink and underplay everything against your favor, but even for you it was difficult to ignore Joel’s behavior tonight. He seemed genuinely interested. Nima had encouraged you to chase what made you happy, and Joel made you happy. There was no doubt there. Anticipation began to build in your chest as you hyped yourself up to make a move tonight. You took a chance and said yes to being his sugar baby in the first place.
You just needed to take a chance again.
Joel turned back to you and he slipped a few black chips into his coat’s inner pocket before wrapping his arm around your shoulders to tug you into his side. You mimicked his action, holding yourself close to him, and the two of you only got a few steps away before the same obnoxious voice from earlier wolf whistled behind you.
“Damn, look at that ass.” The guy from earlier stumbled a step closer as his friends behind him tried to reel him back desperately. “How much do you charge a night? I’ll pay double whatever the old man is paying you.”
You stiffened at the words. They hit a little too close to home. You usually were able to easily let the drunk, stupid words of some obnoxious asshole roll off your back. Unknowingly though, the man had dug a knife into an already sore subject in your mind. In your spiraling panic, you didn’t realize the man was reaching for you until Joel was suddenly gone from your side.
Without a word, Joel slammed his fist into the man’s face then grabbed him by the lapels of his sport coat before he could collapse. The man’s friends were trying to stop the attack while calling out apologies, but their attempts were fruitless. Joel lifted the man up off the ground enough to throw him over the edge of the craps table, making chips fly across the green felt as others around the table screamed in alarm, and Joel punched the man twice more before security swarmed the scene.
“Joel!” You cried out and tried to reach him, but a man in a dark suit and badge held you back.
They separated the fight easily and when Joel was pulled back away from the now groaning guy who was still laid up on the craps table, you saw real rage burning in Joel’s dark eyes. You had never seen his features twisted in anger and loathing before. Security dragged the guy off the table and took him and his friends toward the front of the resort while ushering for you and Joel to follow them in the opposite direction. Joel’s eyes snapped to meet yours and you watched as his anger melted into worry and concern. He shoved a security guard out of his way to reach you and one hand shot up to rest protectively on the back of your neck as his eyes scanned your face.
“Hey, are you alright?” Joel asked nervously. Unable to find words, you gave him a meek nod and his shoulders sagged in relief. The lead security guard cleared his throat and Joel kept his hands on you while following after the man. When the small grouping of people reached the edge of the casino floor, Joel spoke up. “That piece of shit better be out on his ass.”
“He has been forcibly removed from our premises and I do apologize for the duress.” The lead security, his badge read ‘T. Gordon’, turned to you with a slight nod. “Are you okay, miss?”
“Oh, uh, I’m fine.” You replied.
“Good.” Gordon focused back on Joel. “As regrettable as this scenario was, fighting is strictly prohibited⏤”
“If you kept assholes like him from gettin’ so wasted then maybe I wouldn’t have had to start nothin’.” Joel snapped. “He was gonna try and touch her.”
“Right, and because of that we will not be restricting your access to the resort.” Gordon said. “That being said, I will have to limit your access to the casino floor. The Wynn has a strict policy. That gentleman will never be welcome on our property again, and you will be suspended for the next three months.”
“Fine. Can we go?”
Gordon motioned for the two of you to wait while he fetched some paperwork for Joel to sign. Your eyes darted down to Joel’s dominant hand, the one not wrapped around your waist, and it was still balled into a tight fist. There was a redness to the knuckles that made you gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Joel’s attention snapped to you in alarm.
You reached for his hand and cradled it in yours, studying the gash and early bruising, “You’re bleeding, Joel.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He tried to pull his hand away, but you held on tighter and he sighed. “Really. Doesn’t even hurt.”
Your thumb brushed the edge of the discoloration and his nose twitched with a slight wince. You shot him a light glare, “Liar.” Joel’s own lips curled into a small smile and you shook your head. “What? Don’t smile at me. I’m worried about your hand.”
“I know.” Joel replied softly. He turned his gaze away from you and his next words fell out in a slight whisper. “It’s cute.”
Gordon returned a second later and you were forced to release his hand so he could sign the paperwork stating he understood his punishment. You were just happy that the police didn’t need to be involved. Joel began to lead you toward the elevators, which weren’t far from where you stood now. It didn’t take long to get to the room, and the moment you stepped through the threshold you pushed him toward the couch to sit. Quickly, you shrugged out of his jacket and fetched a rag to run under cold water.
Joel was slumped in his seat with his head leaning back and his arm draped over to cover his eyes. You sat down beside him, on his left and close enough that your thigh pressed against the side of his, then carefully pulled his arm away from his face so you could take his hand in yours. Joel blinked his eyes open at you while you carefully began to dab at the gash on his knuckles.
“I’m so sorry.” Joel sighed.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I lost my temper.” He shifted so rather than slumped back he was sitting upright. Joel’s fingers wrapped around the hand holding his up while your other continued to clean his injury. “I never wanted you to see me like that.”
“Joel…”
“When I’m around you,” Joel paused and took in a slow breath, “I get to be one of the best versions of myself. Carefree. Happy. That’s what I want you to see. Not angry or grumpy or stressed⏤ Just… I don’t want…”
It seemed he couldn’t find the end of his thoughts. You paused in cleaning his wound to just squeeze his hand in reassurance. “I don’t want just the best of you, Joel. I want to know all of you. Good and bad.” Joel’s gaze softened and the way he stared at you, with blatant adoration even the worst of your anxiety couldn’t deny, made your chest fill with warmth. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“How’d I get so lucky to find you, sugar?” Joel asked quietly.
“Easy.” You offered him a smile and shrug, “You left your wallet at home, daddy.”
Joel laughed and the sound of it felt victorious. You liked being able to cheer him up. A knock at the door made you rise from the couch. Joel tried to stop you so he could go, but you brushed away his hand with a chuckle. At the door, a waiter stood holding a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of wine. You took it from him questioningly and walked back into the living space.
“What is it?”
You read the card tied to the side, “‘Please accept this wine as an apology for tonight’s disturbance.’” Your eyes widened and you stared at Joel in shock. “Seriously? You punch a guy and the hotel apologizes to you?” Joel motioned for you to get closer and you walked over to settle back in the seat you had been in. Joel pulled the bottle from the bucket to read it. “You rich people, I swear.”
“Wow. This is a pricey bottle.” Joel hummed. “I don’t know a lot of wines, but Sarah likes this one. I buy it for her every year for her birthday.”
You scooped up some of the ice to set in the rag, a smile on your features. You always loved hearing details of Joel’s home life. It wasn’t like he was hiding anything from you, he spoke freely about his daughters, but every little detail you learned solidified the image of the doting and loving father Joel truly was. You’d be lying if you said it wasn���t an extremely attractive trait of his.
With your makeshift ice pack, you shifted in place so you could settle it on his knuckles. Joel hissed at the cold and set the bottle down. His hand was resting in your lap so neither of you had to hold it up and his close proximity was making your heart race.
“You know,” You chuckled, “Nobody’s ever punched someone to defend my honor, like that before. Is it wrong that I kind of liked it?”
“Not wrong.” Joel shook his head. “But you’ve really never had to deal with an asshole like that before?”
You scoffed with a laugh. “I’ve dealt with assholes like him my whole life. I’m a breathing woman who lives in LA. I can’t walk down the street without getting catcalled or yelled at.”
Joel’s brows furrowed in confusion, “You were datin’ someone before me though, right?” You nodded in confirmation. “He never…?”
“Nathan wasn’t big on violence of any kind.” You shook your head. A memory tumbled out from your lips before you could even stop it. “I got groped once at a bar we went to. Some guy grabbed my chest and Nate scolded him and then the two of them started talking about some baseball game.”
“You’re shittin’ me.”
“Nope.”
Joel muttered under his breath a string of curses. His hand slid to rest on your mid thigh and he gave it a comforting squeeze. “I know technically the answer should be non-violence, so I’m probably the bad guy for sayin’ this, but I would’ve ripped that guy’s head off.” Based on what you saw this evening, you believed him, and still you only found comfort in it. “The world’s a goddamn mess and that kid you dated was a coward for not standin’ up for you. That’s the least a man could do for a woman he loves.” You felt your heart skip a beat at his insinuation. Joel didn’t love you. It was way too soon for him to feel any kind of way close to that, but to hear you were in the group of people he cared enough about to protect still made you feel some kind of way yourself. “Not that women can’t protect themselves.” Joel was near ranting now. “I made sure Sarah and Ellie could hold their own. Basic self defense, teachin’ ‘em how to handle a weapon, a kickboxin’ class here or there. But still… The thought that you got assaulted and your ex-boyfriend just thought to be chummy with the guy pisses me the fuck off.”
There was an edge to his voice, and you could see the haunted look of a past memory lingering in his eyes. You melted into the couch, closer to him, and Joel squeezed your thigh once more. “I’m okay, Joel. Everything is fine, and I’m safe. We’re safe.” You lifted the ice pack just enough to give his skin a break from all the cold. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m alright. Just…” Joel shook his head. “Bad memory.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Joel hesitated for a moment before sighing, “It was a long time ago. I took the girls campin’. Ellie was fourteen. Just a kid. Not even old enough to drive.” His thumb was tracing a line back and forth against your thigh as he recounted his past. “We were settin’ everything up, I looked away for a minute⏤ just a minute⏤ and she was gone. I left Sarah with Tess, called the cops, then Tommy and I were tearin’ apart the woods lookin’ for her.” Joel carried a tension in his shoulders as he spoke and you leaned in closer to him to offer physical reassurance without interrupting him. “I heard Ellie scream. That sound… it’s carved into my very soul. I’ll never forget it. I found her in this beat up RV by the lake. Some sick son of a bitch had snatched her and was tryin’ to…” Joel locked his jaw. Silence settled between the two of you for a moment. Your heart ached for him and it ached for his daughter. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the horror. Joel shook his head finally. “Ellie’s a fighter. She always has been. Arguably to a fault.” He let out a sad chuckle at the praise, but it faded. “She had clawed his face up, broke his finger, hell, she even managed to bite off the upper part of the bastard’s ear… Ellie held him off, and I got there in time. When I saw him though…” Joel squeezed your thigh and this time he didn’t let up. “God, I saw red, darlin’. Ripped him off her and nearly killed him. I would’ve except I heard Ellie cryin’ and I stopped to grab her. Cops showed up around then. Sick bastard was lucky it was the cops and not Tommy. Tommy wouldn’t have stopped me. Not for that.”
“She’s okay? Ellie?” You asked softly.
“Yeah. She’s strong. Stronger than me even.” A flash of pride filled his features while praising his daughter’s strength, “She got that from her mom.” You knew that Joel wasn’t related to Ellie by blood. He had shared that bit of information with you early on when he first told you about his daughters. That was all you knew of the fact though. You didn’t know how Joel knew Ellie’s mom or how she came to be adopted by him. “Since then though, I’ve always had a hair trigger for that kind of shit. More so than I used to. Just brings up bad memories.”
“I could only imagine.” You replied. “I’m so sorry, Joel.”
“No need for you to be.”
“Still…” You searched for something to say, but there were no words that came to mind. Instead, you rested your head between his shoulder and chest. Joel responded by letting the arm draped on the couch behind you wrap around your own shoulders as his right hand continued to reach across his lap and rest on your thigh. Softly, you spoke, “Sarah and Ellie are lucky to have you.”
Joel gave a small shake of his head, “I’m lucky to have them.”
“Well, then,” You lifted your head just enough to meet his gaze and gave him a tight lipped smile, “I’m lucky to have you.”
“Wrong again.” Joel chuckled and there was a softness in his eyes as he studied your features.
That didn’t feel true to you. It had been so long since you felt protected to this degree. For literal years, you only had yourself to rely on. Of course you always had Nima and Henry at the bake shop, they’d move mountains for you, but the thought of bothering them kept you from ever wanting to ask for too much. However, when Joel took care of you, it never made you feel like a burden. It felt like you could breathe fully and freely for the first time in a long time⏤ as if the concrete blocks once tied to your ankles were gone and you could now stretch your wings and be yourself.
Your gaze found its way to his lips before bouncing back up to his eyes. The plan had been to gain the courage to close this gap and share that physical intimacy with him, but the two of you seemed to find a different kind of intimacy altogether. You leaned in and rather than kissing him like you had been craving all night, you lightly set your lips against his jawline, in that same spot you had admired earlier in the night, and then laid your head back on his shoulder. You curled in closer into him and Joel wrapped around your once more as if it were simply natural to do so.
“You’re a good man.” You mumbled and listened to the steady thrum of his heart under your ear.
You felt Joel suck in a sharp, shaky breath and hold it. Eternity seemed to pass before he slowly breathed out. Joel turned his head, you could feel him moving, and he pressed a kiss to your hairline⏤ lingering there with his lips to your skin as he mumbled, “No, sugar. I’m really not.”
There was an underlying tone to his words you didn't recognize, but there was nothing that could convince you otherwise of your beliefs. You were lucky to have Joel in your life, and he was a good man.
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