#If uhh someone knows some

[gio-goose]

Hit most of my kara TBs yesterday hehehehehhehehehehehehehe I missed like, one or two BUT I HIT MOST OF THEM WHICH MEANNSSSS I AM GETTING MORE CONSISTENT

#just thunkin #i play da game #WOOHOOOO #Ouuuu y'all better fear me now ouuuuuu #(ignoring that I got my ass beat by a ky) #I DID TAKE SOME WINS AGAINST THAT KY THO #ONLY SOME #That's win in my heart BAYYYBEYYYY #they were insanely good #My brain got turned into mush #I REALLY really need to learn some sin blockstrings HSHSHHS #If uhh someone knows some #I'd be delighted to hear about it ahah

[bumblingbabooshka]

This is literally one of my favorite moments for both Harry Kim and B’Elanna characterization. I think a lot of people forget how soft hearted and altruistic B’Elanna specifically can be while Harry, of course a friendly and sweet individual, devotes himself most often to the mission, his friends and Starfleet’s ideals. Harry’s been shown to be much more down-to-earth and less fantastical in his thinking than either Tom or B’Elanna. The only time he gets in major trouble with Janeway and breaks protocol is because he wants to be with a woman. This is distinctly different to me than Tom’s (attempting to save an alien world) and B’Elanna’s (giving a robot race the ability to reproduce) transgressions. His other biggest infraction is begin a mutiny which he does in order to save Janeway & Chakotay. He doesn’t get in trouble for this which is why I put it last but again it seems different from Tom or B’Elanna to me because it’s For The Ship it’s For The Captain it’s a crime which displays his loyalty to Janeway instead of one which demonstrates him going against her ideologically (as shown by the lack of punishment). In that way I think B’Elanna and Harry balance each other well. B’Elanna is a person who seems very nervous and defensive when in conversation with others, who thinks of herself as a person who is ‘bad’ and doesn’t believe in herself much. Meanwhile Harry seems to be at ease with most anyone he speaks to, attempting to befriend even Seven of Nine right away. He’s confident in himself and his abilities and out of everyone (yes even Tom who seems most often to just become frustrated) would be the one to push B’Elanna and break through her defenses. That’s to say it makes perfect sense that B’Elanna would be absolutely enamored by this person who views her as inspiring, would be struck by that while Harry views it as just a weird question. 

#I do n't know if I'm being coherent enough...but I really like this scene!!! #and I really like both B'Elanna and Harry Kim!! #st voyager #You might say 'It's just bc B'Elanna's been with these people' #BUT I REALLY think that Harry wouldn't have gone through with the whole 'participating in a play exit'...I think if it was Harry the episode #would have been one of those that ended with him looking sadly out a window like 'It's damn hard to follow protocol sometimes...' but he'd #see no other option #I REALLY hope I'm being uhh understandable HEHEH #whenever I ramble like this I'm like 'Bea you're not making any sense' #also thispost is dedicated to the folks who yell at me (affectionate) about putting the majority of my post in the tags HEHHEHE #I finally di d it...I put the whole post up there... #I was really going to just put 'This is one of my favorite characterization moments' up there and put the rest of that in the tags #but then I was like no...they need the whole thought process #labeling Harry Kim as just 'sweet boi uwu' and B'Elanna as 'fiesty angry lady' is a real disservice to their characters #and might be rooted in some OTHER things #like CERTAIN preconceptions #I think Harry's biggest established fears are not being particular special and being underestimated or babied #But none of those fears seem to drive his behavior the way B'Elanna's do #....God I hope this information is correct I always put this shit in the tags bc I'm afraid someone's gonna reblog this like #'Bea none of this happened what are you talking about' and I'll look it up and I'll be like what WAS I talking about #B'Elanna Torres #Harry Kim #Harry's fears also demonstrate that he thinks of himself as 'good' and more worries others won't be able to see it or he won't stand out #enough for it to matter - again much more confident than B'Elanna

[enden-k]

im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl #and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction #so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was #instant comfort and the feeling of being understood #that its like #if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me #knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset #uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me #when to come close and when to give me space #perfectly knowing me and reading me #i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense #so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean #not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used #ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone #only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that #you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that #i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and #thats enough #sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my #mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really #grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year #bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me #inside me there is someone #reply #tags tbd #in case i get embarrassed LMFAO

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

#bg3 spoilers #?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say..... #it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me. #i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee #i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable. #bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen #makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there. #dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it #augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH???? #my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way. #Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3 #I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE #AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY #grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear #truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol #if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life #being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer. #Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this? #For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online #someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this. #why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness? #What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...? #hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!! #i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful. #but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting. #I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself #I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing. #I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come. #Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......

[p0th]

cant decide which one i like more so both r gonna be posted!!!

#the reason shes not in her original outfit & is in some swimsuit type thing is cuz i had no clue how to draw her outfit ToT #ALSO IF THIS ISNT AGENT 3 PLEASE TELL ME I HAVE LITERALLY PLAYED 10 MINUTES OF THE STORY MODE IN MY ALMOST 250+ HOURS OF SPLATOON!!!!!!!! #i. do not know who she is i will be honest #i love splatoon dont get me wrong but i have no god damn clue whats going on #i played story mode when i first got it and then. never again #do not try to make me read in video games!!! i will give up!!!! #splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon fanart #splatoon agent 3 #splatoon captain 3 #wait if this is fuckin uhh captain 3 who tf is agent 3 #should i be . tagging agent 3?? is this who this is?? #too many bitches in this game WHO ARE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i have had the whole agent thing explained to me (shoutout to my irl friend that knows everything splatoon) but i NEVER UNDERSTAND IT!!!!!! #see it makes sense cuz the 3rd game has the 3rd agent BUT THEN WHO TF IS 8 & 4?!??! 4 is the octoling but then 8 is uhh someone.. i think.. #is 8 even real?? idk. sorry chat idk whats going on in this game

[sentientstump]

What are your favourite minesweeper quests?

i think it might be the random difficulty ones, with the different sized boards? no flags ones are pretty great as well, and efficiency above 100%...

additional note: i absolutely despise "in a row" ones, i swear to mines, its all just so luck based 😭 and the honour points and the gems and coins, anyways-

#ok so i wanted to always ask someone in the field uhh #how to get coins and gems like... in this quantity? is it from arenas? #and what are your favourite quests! i may be able to manage to send some in these 2 days although i may be busy irl u_u #is there a way to save a profile without it being only in dms? theres literally no other way to find a person except sending a quest on #certain events 😭😭 #for how long have you been playing on the site? :o #i was so happy to find you there! #really sporadic tags here but im just glad to know another minesweeper enjoyer whom is really cool B]

[intersexfairy]

random storytime bc im autistic about geneaology

family history on my dad's side of the family is weird. my (catholic) grandmother had a few customs that are like jewish mourning customs (shiva). there was another custom involving the red string that she had told me and my sister about when we were kids. her family is from germany, galway ireland, and moselle france. idk why she did it, but her sister said the mourning customs sound like something people "did in the past." mayhaps it's a whole anusim situation, since i did find a (unverified) connection on the french side to a tree on JewishGen.

then there's my grandfather, an only child who was orphaned (temporarily) as a child. his father was 9 years older than his mother, and seemed to have met her when she was a minor. they married when she was 19, and my grandpa was born when she was 20. she abandoned him and his father quickly after, and never got back in contact. he was taken care of by his aunt while his father was a soldier in WW2. his father remarried, so he had step siblings.

...but my dad has a half first cousin match on ancestry... meaning my grandfather has/had a half sibling out there somewhere (potentially, a brother who's 2 years younger than him and died in 2012). normal people would just go message my dad's cousin and ask about it. will i do that? not yet. i'm gonna sleuth on my own, cause this may actually be something i can figure out... unlike my grandmother's customs.

#julian rants #geneaology #family history #abuse tw #bc there is no way that wasnt abuse. even if my family doesnt bat an eye. and is mad at my grandpa's mom #uhh hope its ok to use these tags just lmk if not: #jewish #judaism #i know im not jewish. just want to be clear about that #but maybe someone has some insight on what may be going on and how to figure it out

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i need to write more he/him 13

#yesterday i was writing fic and idk what happened but in the middle of a sentence i was like 'she' and i went 'uhh???' #like it was so immediately clearly wrong and jarring #i never have that with 13 even in the he/him fic i wrote it took a couple of sentences to get into it #i should check what the sentence was theres probably some gender bias for me to dig out there #anyway i need to find an idea for this #maybe i'll do he/she 13 where the fam isnt entirely sure what to do and the doctor wont explain anything so #everyone is just doing whatever and 13 is giggling to herself thinking of what he said to bill on the roof #waiting for someone to ask so she can brush them off with an evasive non-answer pretending she doesnt know exactly what hes doing #get more genderfucky by having her dress up in period clothes and everyone in the past (and future) is #using hints from his clothes except those gendered hints arent always the same as ppl from the 21st century would take either so #it just confuses everything more

[saltpepperbeard]

Would really kill for a heart to heart scene between Stede and Oluwande when they’re all debating whether or not they should return to the Revenge. Because, I could honestly see it going one of two ways.

One, Stede is adamant about returning regardless, though his drive gets a bit shaken when he hears how bad things have gotten. He kind of separates from the crew for a tad to ponder and shed some tears, and that’s when Olu can swoop in for further insight. He can sort of ask Stede why he’s so set on returning even after the marooning and danger, and that’s when Stede can drop something like, 

“He might hate me now. He might not ever have truly liked me at all. But I’m going back for him. Because I’ve realized two things. My family is here at sea, and I...I love him. I don’t intend on leaving either ever again. So we’re getting all of our damn family back.”

OR

Stede gets so heartbroken/hurt by the news of the sudden downfall that he also shuts down much like Edward did. It throws him further into a sea of guilt and pain, and he feels unmotivated to go back. He blames himself for his crew’s pain, and for Edward’s shift. So he sort of clams up and doesn’t know what to do, as he doesn’t want to hurt everyone even more.

But following the same trend of understanding, Oluwande could visit him (and sort of parallel Lucius visiting Ed as well). They could talk things through, and Stede could cry about being a failure to his crew, but also to his love. And the mentioning of love is what connects them together that much more, as they both have a reason to head back towards the Revenge. So Olu could sympathize that much more and be like,

“The people we love are aboard that ship. So let’s go get them back.”

#OFMD #Stede Bonnet #Oluwande Boodhari #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Revenge Rambles #I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS... #Like them sharing that they both love someone aboard the Revenge and bonding over that #And kind of shaking hands on it in some kind of way like yes #Yes let's go get our loves #It might be a very bad idea but we NEED to do it #Like everyone else would be like uhh lmao we JUST got kicked off #They JUST left us here #Why the hell would we go back #But Olu would probably get it the most #Pete MAYBE if he was really wanting to find Lucius #But Olu definitely has the most emotional maturity #I also just think that Stede and his crew deserve to bond more #And knowing each other's more vulnerable emotions would definitely be a good starting point #Would make Stede want to fight for his sea family that much more

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when everyone is the protagonist in someone's story and the antagonist in someone else's

#in case you dont know what this means its like saying uhh #idk if this is a good example or not but say you tell a kid santa isnt real and for the rest of his life he remembers you #as the person who taught him that adults lie and everyone is untrustworthy abd he literally feels traumatized by this #but then you gave a homeless man some cash and a ride to a shelter and some food and a few hours of company and conversation #you will never be objectively good or bad but those two people will always see you as if you are #also yeah the traumatized by santa not being real is a purposefully not super terrible thing #because its easy to be the antagonist in someones life #and i dont want it to seem like the only thing that qualifies is like. bejng straight up abusive or intentionally malicious or something #anyway i hope this made sense

[hylianane]

(gets ignored by my group of friends that i’ve known my whole life when i try to ask as carefully as possible if they want to maybe go out to eat with me on my birthday): :,(

(remembers I now have new people in my life who are always enthusiastic about going out with me, and try out new games and anime just because i told them i like them, and say insane shit to me like “I really wanna do this thing but Only if you’re there as well when I do it because having you there with me is what makes it special”): :D

#it only took all of highschool for me to not be someone’s second choice #graduated from b tier friend to a friendgroup in which tiers dont exist because we all like each other tf #and maybe constantly worrying about being the next person voted out of the friendship or the weakest link is like uhh not normal actually #and whk knows maybe some day the other shoe will drop and this post will feel like a kick to the face #but today im just happy that rejection doesnt quite sting the same because i now have people who make me feel like the first choice #i think im starting to love this group of people god i’m a little scared about it. but they might be learning to love me too? #i mentioned casually how theres this one junk food place i always wanted to try as a kid but my dad never let me and- #one of my friends INSTANTLY went “Oh I’ll take you there! Promise! It’ll be so fun!” like what the fuck was that!!! #I need to be a better friend to them stat like everything they do I Have to pay them back theyre fantastic people #Six people bought TICKETS. to the FNAF MOVIE. they organized their collective schedules. #To watch a movie about a game franchise theyd never played #Because two of us!! LOVE the games. And our excited was contagious to them enough for that. What the hell

[mantisgodsdomain]

Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.

#we speak #internet teenagers keep coming to us as like the only authority figure on hand who will treat them like people #and we're like... please... we don't want to be an authority figure... why do all of your parents suck so hard... #like we're willing to offer ourself as an anchor as well as we can because we've Been there and know how it feels #but like damn. who the fuck let your families suck this bad. how on earth have situations managed to produce enough of you #that we end up being cast as The Only Adult On Hand Willing To Listen And Talk Through Things MULTIPLE TIMES #and perhaps more importantly why are we the only person in random fandom discords who is willing to treat teenagers like People #weren't the rest of you also teenagers at some point??? don't you like remember how it feels like to not have agency for shit??? #experiencing the “only person in the room who's willing to take a position” thing #despite there being like multiple other people in the room who should be WAY more qualified for this #how does this keep happening and more importantly why are we the only guy in the area who is doing anything to help #just to stress this point #we are trying our hardest to NOT be an authority figure because historically it ends terrible for us due to The Mental Health Issue #but somehow we are continually running into situations where we're the only guy willing to come up to plate #the syndromes. the issues. we are so fucking glad that this particular wave is coming now instead of A Few Years Ago #something something progress but also we dislike that we have to be the one handling these situations #because we shouldn't be considered a primary point of stability in anyone's life and the fact that we ARE a stable point to anyone is uhh #weird to think about. who let this happen. we're not old enough to be a parent #and we also find it very alarming that there are so many of you out there who are severely lacking in support #someone needs to work out a childcare arrangement system that doesn't suck because the current one really isn't doing it #while we're at it we can start overhauling the culture that landed us in being the only person willing to listen to people like ever #and maybe make it so we don't have to be a primary support because people are sufficiently supported already

[sukugo]

got COCKBLOCKED in my own HOUSE (both literally and figuratively 🤔)

#f.txt #the house is my dreams. but the dream was in my house #ANYWAYS I HAD A DREAM. WHERE I WAS GONNA FUCK ANAKIN. BUT I DIDN'T BC DGSKDHSJHD #MY MOM CAME INTO THE ROOM 😭😭😭 #so it started with anakin and me in a room. anakin was on a desk with his back to me working on some stuff on a computer #he was wearing s shiny tight leather jacket and jeans. and FUCK did he look delicious. just incredible #so i go to him and i like lift up his jacket from behind and start grabbing his waist. #and then i grab his crotch and start rubbing it (he had a tiny dick <3) (AND I STILL REMEMBER THE FEELING OF IT 😭😭😭😭) #at first he doesn’t want to and he kinda resists. but we all know im into that shit. #but then actually he does get into it and wants to. so i take him and push him into the bed #OK DGDJHF actually there was someone else who wanted to fuck him too in the room with us #idk who it was and for some reason all i remember is that it was spiderman (but i go like BITHC IM gonna fuck him) #(actually i think we agreed to both do it or smth idk) so then there's like some dick grabbing action going on #and then. my mom comes in. #and I'm like. girl. why. why would u do this to me. how could u fucking do this to me. do u not see me having THE moment of my life. #so she uhh sees us. and she's like uhhhh. and we make like if we weren't doing anything ahaaa whaat nothing weird going on here. #so in a desperate attempt to continue i grab anakin's hand and take him to the other room. where apparently there's my brother. #and i want to cry. bc CANT A GIRL HAVE HER PRIVACY PLS (like i get it irl but NOT EVEN IN NY DREAMS 😭😭) #anyways so instead we just like. lay in bed. im between his legs bc no one's gonna fucking get me out of ther now lmao #and we start playing clapping games. bc what else are we supposed to do. and my mom COMES IN HERE too #to u know check up on what we're doing. and the position is uhh not innocent but we're like hey we're just playing. #so she leaves. and then we get up and run in circles lmao. #but anyways yeah that was the end of the anakin fucking 😭😭😭 #then it was hours of me having to listen to my mom and aunt talking about life hardships or smth #OH BUT THE END. i had another lil dream about exo/specifically kai. SPECIFICALLY about his thighs. #like there was a comeback or smth but his thighs were incredible. and then there's like a dance scene but he's mini tiny shorts #and when he moves u can See Things 😳👀 #anyway that is the story. no anakin fucking for me 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i feel like this dream is so. representation of my Life. like yeah. this is literally my life.

[verycoolsnails]

YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!

MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓

#i loevev them so much did you know that #currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw ......... #and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick . #A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff . #that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE........... #so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha. #like that IS her voice right . im not going insane #its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ; #turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears . #and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines) #and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM .. #where theres something just ... sososo off . #and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is) #BUT . augh . auf even . #childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped #(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .) #the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour .. #aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really . #anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED. #uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony . #when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long . #which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious #i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality. #okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people? #and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping) #and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare . #uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but #i hope i got the point across <33 #i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[thedeadthree]

lila thoughts under the read more <3 🥀✨🌹🎸

lila getting with griffin / g reign and having their little thing in “secret” not only bc it’s what her parents did to each other to get back at the other for slights and arguments but also bc she wanted to not only get back at seven but also to be like “oo look at me i can pull griffin freaking reign i won teehee.” and then the clown catches real feelings for griffin and calls jazz near in tears bc she’s just like her mom 🥀✨🎸🤡 and using someone she loves to get back at someone who she loved may or may not have even loved (i think she did but loved more the idea ? it’s complicated!) but loved the IDEA of seven loving her? dear you know it everyone knows it you want to be loved so bad!!!!!! the sooner you admit that lila the sooner you’ll be much happier my love! so excited to see where things go for her ! and things for her and her beloved g!!!!!

(x) for the divider <3

#oc: lilia laurent #long tags bc lila brainrot I APOLOGIZE 🥀✨😭 (i need to rb that ask game i need to yell about these dears🌹❣️!!!) #baby girl you literally wrote to live and die in la / aka gibson girl by ethel bc you wanted griffin to HEAR IT and pique his interest like #AND YOU DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM???? and it’s the song you auditioned with too? #and jazz was likely like UHH I SAW THIS COMING ! she’s literally lilas voice of reason soizjxxh #caroline catch lila calling halle too at like 3 am sosjjzhx in the bathroom of griffins trailer akzjjzjx she’s a hot mess !!!!!! truly! #she has a panic moment because she’s just like her mother and now has to face to consequences of her actions! yikes! #i think she owns up to it you know? god i want to write a fic of that so bad too AHH #i am still going to be gaming HARD for vic and her to be friends at the end of it all u know? #and some more lore that’s a tad unrelated but maybe has some insight into why she does what she does to cope with things? #her parents spent more time socializing with their friends and playing mind games traveling and the etc then being parents to her? #so she spent a lot of time in beautiful homes alone throwing parties as they did because she was bored and that’s what they did too? #for someone who didn’t want to be her aristocratic messy parents she’s scared she’s turned into them 🥀✨😖 #she’s like a nepo baby u wouldn’t think was a nepo baby bc her parents almost never are seen with her outside of a fashion campaign or too #or a tabloid RUMORING they had a daughter (those hurt her more than she admits) it bites to have famous supermodels for parents 🥀😵‍💫 #she wants friends and parental figures more badly than she cares to admit (she won’t akzjzjjz but! she does! really bad!) #this baby girl can fit SO many parental issues 🥀✨😌 #(also aj she might yank griffin along to visit Flor and her grandma bc of that 🥀✨😖) #leg.txt #your not as much of a manipulative snake as you think you are lila ! you want to be loved !!!!! really bad! #ofc this all could change as the story develops and her arc unfolds but oh my god i love lila so much thats my hot mess express! #jazz being like ‘you aren’t going to like this you’ll block me for a months for this but u need to hear this.. ur a mess my dear’ SHES RIGH #(me hoping this isn’t too ooc GAHH 🥀✨😭)

[causticsunshine]

me: has several fic wips to finish from last year, two fest fics due in march and april, several art pieces left half completed, a full time job complete with an exhaustive schedule and manual labor

also me: yeah yeah okay BUT hear me out. what about a juno au.

#hlcreators #trackinghome #tracksintheam #hljournal #wip #snippet #my fics #juno AU #as i get closer to finishing it i will reveal more (here. bc i already shared a bit on twitter sorry) #but for now know it is very much schmoopy teen romance and teen angst bc yk teenagers are so dramatic even without the #accidental pregnancy aspect? also it's omegaverse Lite so no super indepth lore like i usually do but it's also not #completely ignored by way of plot? does that make sense? maybe #(but if you're worried it's a saucy story i promise you it is not like the most we get is some flashbacks on HL getting up to the stuff #that got them With Child in the first place in chapter one like the flashback scenes with the chair in the movie #and maybe one or two scant references in a later chap but yeah it's very much concentrated on HL's relationship at a very pivotal part of #their lives like l finishing college and h trying to figure out what he's going to do w his bf about to graduate and #how that and this unexpected pregnancy will affect their relationship and taking exams etc etc like v similar to the movie! but yeah) #it's def not a copy paste of the film but it's definitely still a juno au so uhh yeah hope someone reads it!