#IM LITERALLY AT THE STOVE

[soldier-poet-king]

*everyone at the farmers market wishes to know me carnally meme voice* I'm the most eligible person in this apartment

#the duality of fran #im!!!!!!!!! cooking!!!! #both literally and in the sense of cultivating a life i can love and i can be proud of #btw im making pesto pasta w asparagus mozzarella and sundried tomato. jsyk #also the cad apron fucks. its actually better quality than my prev. which i uh. accidentally burned a hole in (put it on a hot stove burner) #oops! #i even said nice things abt my thighs this weekend #sure it was in a joke with a school friend about being able to kill someone with them #but!!!!! i have to embrace that my genes are strong girl farm???? meme. and not like. androgynous vampiric waif #im in LOVE with the vamps. i personally. would be a werewolf. beefy and stout and hairy. yknow . #dwarf in love with an elf type situation

[theygender]

Gonna cook dinner for my girlfriend wish me luck

#i usually Do Not cook. bc i am bad at it. and its very difficult and confusing for me and the whole process just stresses me out #but i have today off while my gf is working and i want to Try To Cook for her #so. im making some crockpot bbq meatballs. it looks easy enough #i dont need to cut anything up or cook anything on the stove or nothing #i should Literally be able to just add the ingredients to the crockpot and then leave it there (stirring occasionally) for 4 hours #and then for sides i got minute rice and green beans which i know i can make on the stove bc ive made them before #ive got this (<- hyping myself up) #rambling

[3-aem]

tonight on three doesn’t know what they’re doing: my circuit breaker tripped (???) for my microwave and not knowing what i was doing i kinda fiddled with it

pros: apparently i fiddled with it correctly bc i turned it back on

cons: according to the internet and the very angry warning label i probably should Not have done that 😭

#literally— #im just never gonna use my microwave #again #we stove heating everything from now on #girl i am shaking #do we have electricians in the chat #me pushing the breaker in one direction: k that didnt do anything #me pulls it a bit: #me pulls it harder: #me forces it in to the opposite position: oh the microwave is on hey what does this say-

[transzilla]

One of my particular sick freak things is fighting and bare knuckle boxing like idk i wanna get more people into it. Like getting into fights there's always this kind of thrill when the person you're fighting is really skilled, maybe kind of cute. Just fighting and the process of boxing training is incredible in itself because of the fact that you're equipping yourself to do something that most people are terrified to do. And honestly it's just like having sex, maybe in a different kind of way, maybe even a little bit better and more intimate. When you hook up with someone, ideally it's good feelings for a little while it's good while that lasted whatever not really an important experience. When you fight physically with someone it demands an emotional and physical intimacy that you do not get from just sex, if not from shared hatred and raw ambition and base survival. You can't imagine or fantasize about anyone else, hell you barely even have time to think, just split second windows to inflict pain. All of your attention is on that other person and you are moving to change them permanently. Literally the dom4dom dynamic of your dreams.

#hiii im a psychiatrically unstable aggressive transsexual male i got into martial arts after getting assaulted #sorry for being so chatty rn i literally woke up in the middle of the night idk. when the stove is on i'll cook #force masc #bare knuckle fighting #bare knuckle boxing #forced masculinization

[mbat]

the picky eater experience really is just everyone telling you 'ohhh that was so good you missed out! you shouldve tried it! it was the best thing ive ever eaten!' while talking about a food that looks and smells absolutely revolting

#my post #im making my dinner after they made theirs and theres literally no room in the kitchen for me #all the ingredients and leftovers are all over #even the chair i sit in next to the stove is covered in pots and pans that usually sit on the stove when its unused

[cinnamon-notes]

the way i wish to have my place is beginning to hurt too much.

#tired of living with boxes of stuff all around other people's places and im also tired of the new temporary place im in cuz it has plenty of #problems and like i feel ungrateful because at least i have a roof above my head that i can be under for longer than a day but still- it's #extremely cold and termites are everywhere and it's full of insects and i cant get rid of them ive literally tried everything and i cant #cook cuz the stove is full of them and i cant take a shower cuz so is the bathtub and it's been a week of me trying everything to get rid of #them but it's all been aimless and useless cuz here they are and they're coming from the foundation of the apartment and i cant really do #much about that if not just changing place but no places will be available til august so im not sure what to do im freaking scared to go to #sleeo too cuz they are every fucking where #cinnamon notes

[terrorbirb]

Work. God I experience mortification

#totes bro #i thought. i really thought. i hsd hit submit on a project #i had to go home yesterday because a migraine #which is why i messed this up #because i get migraine with really bad aura where i cannot speak #and everything gets jumbled #like i cannot think in words #nor can i really think #I'll do incredibly stupid things like put the stove on without a pot and wonder what I'm doing wrong because im trying to boil water #literally without a pot or water. just the stove on #i cry a lot because i forget where i am and cant figure it out even when I'm home #my body feels like its moving through styrofoam whenever i move its like crunchy imaginary styrofoam #i blink uncontrollably #i was told i should go to a neurologist because they could be the kind with mini strokes #anyway!!!! i keep submitting projects late #im impressively good at doing the work but abysmal when it comes to submitting projects but this time there is a reason

[landofgay]

poll time pls actually respond

#we had the fire in the wood stove explode last night RIGHT before bed #like we were lying in bed when we heard the Woofsh #terrifying!!! then it just kept getting hotter!!!!! #and bfs parents not only dont have a fire extinguisher (and when they did they j #kept it soooo far out of the way) #but they didn't answer their phones after we called like 20 times!!!!!!!!!! #his mom left her phone at home and his dad mustve left his in the car or smth #cause like what the Fuck #then naturally we got it sorted went to bed and then boom. phone calls in the middle if the night from his parents going #'you made us worry why didny you answer????' #literally fuck off #im so mad about this rn #we were home alone with 2 cats what if something DID happen?????

[egirlgarak]

soup tip.

sundried tomato oil. in hot pan. cabbage. in oil. season with pepper, garlic powder, ginger powder, chicken bouillon, & honey. sautee. oh shit i was gonna put chicken in here; chuck left over rotisserie chicken in. con pellejo because why the fuck not. tastes good innit. ah balls, too much cabbage. add a LITTLE bit of sesame oil. JUST A LITTLE BIT. good... good. sautee more. deglaze with splash of black vinegar. cover with water. realize u forgot spice. add gochujang paste.

boil. add egg :)

think about how maybe you should conceptualize what you are putting in the pot before you do so you stop doing things out of order.

cover and simme- goddamnit

realize u meant to leave room for ramen and haphazardly break apart ramen block over sink to make it fit into the pot. frantically spoon hot liquid over noodles. stare at noodles until they wilt under gaze. decide to fuck the cover and simmer step.

devour. good. you are now fueled and sated. i love you

#bas.txt #cooking is EASY (lie) (kind of) #this was literally a 10 minute meal and was literally the best soup i have made in the last 6 months. #once a year it's like the spirit of carmy thebear visits me in my sleep and puts me into a fugue state the next time i am at a stove #im like if luigi ratatouille didnt need the rat

[mwagneto]

im having so much fun on this uni work trip i wish i could post abt it

#im saur fucking exhausted like yknow that kinda exhaustion that makes your entire body overheat. it's that #but most of my friends are here and a lot of us got put in the same room so it's especially fun #it's like a holiday except way more tiring #also they said there'd be one meal a day but that meal is literally NOTHINGGGG and there's #no plates and no stove and the village we're in has 1 store and 0 restaurants so we're constantly hungry #but like i dont even mind any of it it's all so fun. hopefully this adrenaline will carry me through the rest of it too #barking #also it's not confidential or anything im just too private to go into details but mann

[zippers]

wish i could gain weight without eating 😭😭😭 like a sims slider i just wanna gain like 15 pounds in 15 seconds is that too much to ask of my body?!?! apparently

#put on shorts i wore when i was 12 and they are TOO BIG #i dont know how much i weigh because i dont have a scale but i was just underweight a few weeks ago #and i have gotten BETTER at forcing myself to eat but i basically only had bread fruit and a monster energy drink yesterday #and by basically i mean... i know thats all i ate #but i mean i ate a lot of bread... like a bagel #half a loaf of french bread and several slices of rosemary sourdough #my mom bought me groceries which i so appreciate but she did not really... buy me healthy foods #like... 3 different bread products... nothing to put on the bread?! when i am in food funks 80% of my nutrition comes from hummus and guac #oh she did buy me soups but my microwave is broken but i literally havent been getting enough calories to HEAT THINGS ON THE STOVE!!!! #they said i might gain weight on zoloft which i was excited before but instead i lost the same amount of weight i lost this summer in half #the time #bc at least this summer i WANTED to eat i just wasnt given long enough breaks at work to eat ENOUGH food #and i was super active. now i am an art hermit not exercisng & going days where 90% of my calories are energy drinks and the occasional carb #i think its a side effect of the meds and not #disordered eating #but im tagging it as that anyway

[silenthilllz]

how to tell mother that the reason my adhd is so bad is because ive been thinking about dirkjohn nonstop for a month and its affected my attention span

#LITERALLY CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT DIRKJOHN #DOESNT HELP IM READING FICS ABOUT THIS #theres so much potential with them!!!!! #forcing them into a room together and they have to deal with their issues TOGETHER #they ground each other #HHHHHHHHHHH #dirkjohn #cat chronicles #i burnt my fucking hand on the stove bc i was thinking about a fic

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

kill me

#im replacing the crypt* bullshit in the #capitalism and you #tag with the weird home shit instagram recs me #matches don’t create trash bc they biodegrade hope that helps 💖 #i am so tired of ppl trying to sell me shit to get my life together and/or save the planet/make my house nicer #this is so fucking stupid i love to burn fossil fuels through charging my electronic lighter in my house wired directly #to the municipal coal plant #this Will break and create so much e-waste #sorry can’t light my candles in a power outage my lighter isn’t charged #if this breaks it’s completely useless #if a match breaks you can usually still light shit with it #oh im very testy this morning #do electric lighters have a place? yeah in your stove not for daily candle usage #also can’t really get behind candles bc u are Literally burning money and Actively making the air quality in your house worse #but im very No Fun Allowed about this sort of thing

[sigzaisoup]

Nothing like only sleeping for 3 hours, waking up feeling like shit, and immediately starting a new wip with hard hurt comfort.

Poor Sigma is absolutely going through it all because I don't feel well lmaoo

#lux has opinions #sigma my bbgirl #i just randomly remembered the first time i ever got a bloody nose and thought omg i want to write it happening to Sigma #see i have only ever had a bloody nose once and it was because my face got slammed into the edge of a metal stove #so yeah poor bb sigma is gonna suffer a similar fate rip #its sigskk and im going to make it so angsty for literally no reason #i always come up with such mean fic ideas when i dont feel well what is wrong with me omg

[serethereal]

i am a perpetual sufferer of "there's something i should be doing rn.." syndrome

#its. harrowing to say the least #always feels like im forgetting something...just dk...what that something is... #can range from an appointment to a literal final exam...usually just pasta i've put on the stove though

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

i was sofocused ob trying not to forget the pancakes that i forgot the pancakes again

#mia's mumblings #im literally right next to the stove too