#I'm so fucking annoyed today

[orionsangel86]

.

#I know this is gonna come across as a bit pathetic #but I was already feeling a bit untethered today #wondering if I actually have a purpose here #ever since I came back to tumblr after my 4 month break I've felt very alone here #it feels a bit like everyone moved on without me #and I dunno i guess I hoped I'd be able to dive right back in again and just start engaging and enjoying it #but honestly I have been plagued with anxiety and intrusive thoughts about not being wanted #and the last thing I needed was some asshole anon #I'm already wondering if people are finding my event annoying #like maybe i should just shut up and quit #but I really fucking like doing this stuff I just wish I didn't feel so isolated #I'm being stupid i know #you should never trust how you feel about yourself after 9pm #but bleurgh its a horrible feeling #shut up saz

[lucassinclaer]

lucas cringefail nerdboy sinclair, my most beloved little guy

#i'm not cool? he says and i KNOW he'll grow up and look back fondly #with a far more thorough acceptance of himself #and he'll tell ppl he's a real nerd and he'll say it with AFFECTION #stranger things #lucas sinclair #emspeak #i'm being so fucking annoying today jfc

[magentagalaxies]

.

#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!) #and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student) #and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!'' #i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time'' #and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!! #but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too. #i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point) #and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering) #2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!) #even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

[sga-owns-my-soul]

it is 7:39am and i'm already having a fucking terrible day and am in tears so 🙃 love this for me

#the heat in my house isn't working AGAIN #and i woke up to it being 15°C in my house #my throat is sore and my head hurts #and dan and phil have a limited edition sweater that i desperately want but can't afford #and i'm annoyed bc i have so much shit to do #today is Bad Day #and the stress is making my head hurt more #but i can't afford to not go into work today so that's fun #i'm just #so fucking over today already #can i please go back to bed #please #can today be cancelled #😭😭😭😭😭 #personal rambles #ignore this #not important #stick is being dramatic #again #not stargate

[non-un-topo]

Talking to my sister can be one of the most aggravating experiences

#just allowing myself a few moments of self-pity today #because i'm a little overstimulated/sick of people talking AT me #i have begun to notice that i'm never asked anything... not a single thing. no questions about my life or interests or how school is going #no questions about my partner or our anniversary and no acknowledgement of the big haircut i just got #no questions about my BIL's wedding. none about my health. #every day it's just people talking AT me. kind of tired at the moment... #and this is made worse by my sister's holier-than-thou attitude about literally the smallest and most insignificant things #like washing clothes? and cooking rice?? idk she talks like a housewife now. #and i get to listen to her complain about her 35 year old boyfriend and not say ONE kind thing for 2 hours straight #not a single question for me. not a single nice thing. and i'm talked over constantly #it's not like i don't raise my voice or speak my mind lol #it's just that. between my family and my partner's family. it feels like no one knows just how smart i am and how much fun i can be. #my partner is perfect in so many ways. my best friend and the kindest and most compassionate person i know. #but i really could brag and boast like my sister does over absolutely nothing. because i have actual achievements. but i don't #because who does that lol. fucking annoying and rude people. #maybe my family just thinks i'm okay and so they never ask me anything or call me. ever. #but see.... i don't talk to them because i want advice or help or money. i talk to them because they're my family #and i would very much like to feel cherished and loved by them #/ end angst and self-pity boo hoo

[bandzboy]

i can't even put into words how much i want sm's downfall and by the looks of it it's gonna happen soon with the way their artists are leaving and they are resorting to debuting an alledged sa-er i mean..... but what i hate is how much they dgaf about their current groups enough to protect them this honestly tale as old as time and anyone would know this if they at least staned one sm group in their lives but i feel like it's becoming so apparent they dgaf about their artists especially when it comes to riize and now the karina situation like instead of protecting them you are putting them on hiatus for dating and smoking predebut?? making them apologize for wanting to date?? and now the person that invaded seunghan's privacy is now doing it to sohee and anton and this would not have happened if they sued this person in the first place because now wtf are you gonna do?? put them on hiatus?? how is that gonna solve the insane elephant in the room rn?? your artists are being harassed and this is your only solution?? don't fucking piss me off

#I AM SO ANNOYED #i already am because of elections today #but this just sent me into orbit #i'm honestly mad #they are so incompetent no wonder why they are slowly crumbling #i hope this fuck ass company burns i am so serious rn #tris.txt

[heftbyjapanesebreakfast]

god my coworker is cool but they like constantly try to one up everything i say. i forget what exactly we were talking about but i mentioned how my family is irish and mexican and there's lots of alcoholism/ addiction. and they were like "yeah my dad's addiction is scary. he loves smoking and adds mint essential oil bc they don't sell menthols" or whatever and like um. well my dad's addiction killed him so

#i didn't tell them about my dad but i should. just to ruin the mood #but knowing them they would have made it about themself somehow🙄 #i'm sorry but i wanted to laugh in their face #like you're talking about cigarettes..... and then they said their mom is addicted to shopping #like you've got to be fucking kidding me.... #m #also today i jokingly was like being a bi woman is so hard i'm only into gay guys #and they were like well dating a nonbinary person is even harder i don't even know who is into me #like okay well i was fucking joking first of all and they way they phrased it was so weird and combative #and completely just ignoring how actually scary and dangerous it can saying a woman esp a fat woman & we have more things in common than no #i want to make it clear and i recognize what they're saying and its true. i'm just saying we experience very similar things #whatever i was just so annoyed

[lesbianlotties]

so even though i pick favorites, i pretty much ship any and all the yellowjackets girls, but you guys also get in a mood where you can only think about one ship and can't deal with any other ships getting in the way of that one???

#like. i always ship lottielee. and it usually Doesn't get in the way of shipping lottienat #but today??? oh it absolutely fucking does #and it's so annoying!!! i'm reading this incredible fic and i love it SO MUCH and i signed up for it knowing it was a lottienat fic but???? #somehow i'm getting so annoyed at the lottinat moments??? 😭😭 i'm like this isn't working literally where the hell is laura lee?????? #girl she's NOT going to show up???? #why am i upset about reading lottienat in a lottienat fic come on what am i doing 😭😭😭 the fic is perfect why am i like this #i love lottienat! you know i love lottienat i've written lottineat before! #but i'm in too much of a lottielee mood :((( i can't do this right now :((( #okay dumb rant over thanks for reading <3

[running-in-the-dark]

I was asleep for most of yesterday. and today as well. like I basically only woke up to eat, watch tv for a little bit, and then I fell asleep again. I'm so tired and dizzy.

I'm really hoping it'll be better tomorrow. I really gotta start/continue writing my thesis. 😭

#it's so fucking stupid #last night I woke up on the couch at 2 am. then stayed awake for about 4 hours and went back to bed. I think I was awake for 5 or MAYBE 6 #hours total 😭 #and today was worse. I tried to only sleep a few hours in the morning. but fell asleep again on the couch less than an hour later #literally all I did was eat. start watching a youtube video. and fall asleep again. #the cats kept me company so that was nice #the nightmares were especially horrible though 😔 #all I want to do is go to bed. but I haven't done ANYTHING today. I woke up again like 2 hours ago. I'm not going to bed already 😭😭😭 #my body is fucking annoying #personal

[tenspontaneite]

Undecided whether I want to call the brown-black liquid dripping from my bathroom roof 'ceiling juice' or 'roof cola'

#both terms are so evocative! #anyway yeah the roof repair guy was supposed to come at the weekend and then he fucking didnt lmao #even though the weather was dry both days #so meanwhile my roof is helpfully dispensing an ongoing tap of roof cola ceiling juice #that has presumably been collecting in a substantial puddle on the roof since the last big rain #and throughout today my designated pot received approximately 100ml of roof cola #considerably more splashed all over the bathroom #this is my life now #press f. etc #life of sponty #it's funny tho #horrible and annoying and I'm avoiding the bathroom #but also funny #think I'm leaning towards roof cola

[warningstandbygo]

The great thing about being an Adult is that if you randomly get Extremely Overwhelmed by Existence, no one can stop you from going into your closet in your bedroom with your laptop, changing into a onesie, and sitting in the dark quiet enclosed space all by yourself (even though you're the only one here because your spouse isn't home from work yet).

#my favorite part being that I had a really good chill therapy session today because things have been on the whole pretty good this past week #and then I swear it was like someone just dropped a giant DOOM blanket over my head an hour later #went from having a chill convo with friends to being pretty sure they all hate me #(or at best that I was just being annoying and unhelpful and unwanted in said conversation) #nearly had a small meltdown about the fact that one of the horses got wet *before* I got outside to put him in his sheet #and then it just kept spiraling from there #one of the hay nets needs to be repaired AGAIN and I'm almost in frustrated tears just remembering that #I was supposed to refill my pill boxes after work #but then I ended up having to work late after therapy so I haven't done that #or anything else productive #I was going to try and make soup tonight but that sounds super overwhelming now #so anyway fuck this storm that rolled in about an hour and a half ago #gonna go get some rescue meds for my anxiety now that i've remembered that those exist #and some other meds for what I assume is a continuing to brew migraine #and see if I can remember how to be A Human before my spouse gets home

[byanyan]

ㅤdon't look now, byan is holding their barely started math homework over the flame of their cheap pink lighter.

#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ic status ⋮ fighting a fight i'll win anyway. #( open to mutuals. ) #homework frustrating?? burn it. burn it all. #hi putting words together has been like pulling teeth today (': #i have one thing like. mostly finished but i'm not happy with it and dunno how to finish it so i'm. kinda sitting on it for now #waiting to see if eating dinner helps me function but honestly this might be the only ic thing i manage to post today #which is v annoying bc i had such high hopes but my brain fucking sucks lmao

[startingfires]

exploding my flatmate with my mind

#she cannot for five seconds put herself in other people's shoes #she cannot help but meddle and be so fucking annoying #just get out!!!!!!!!! #stop!!!!!!! #how she simultaneously acts like i'm a helpless child and yet has no regard for anyone but herself is fucking beyond me #i really don't need this #i really don't #she's fucking hoovering and singing and being loud and knows full well that i was asleep not to mention that i'm the one that does the #hoovering #seriously what the fuck #and it's not like the place was dirty and she's been asking me to do the hoovering for days #fuck no #it's literally fine and i was going to do it later today anyway #and she fucking came into my room yesterday to wake me up bc “it was already 11:30” like???????? ok????? what's it to you?????? #let me sleep??????? #literally what the fuck #it's not my fault you have no hobbies that don't involve being annoying to other people and don't know what to do with free time #don't take it out on me if you're bored and have nothing better to do bc you suck #i'm so done #i'm so so done #ramblings of a rafaela

[sga-owns-my-soul]

my anxiety and depression are both flaring badly today which is great bc i'm alone at work for my entire 6 and a half hour shift today so i can't even go hide in the bathroom to cry it i need to

wish me luck!

#really glad i spent my teen years disassociating through everything #bc now i can do it on command #and it's the only way i'll get through this shift #i need a fucking break #cant afford to take one tho! #love living in canada it's a such a perfect country with no issues ever 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #my depression hasn't flared up in SO long #but of course it picks today to hit #that's so fun #i'm so fucking tired #ignore this #im being annoying #might cry on here later! #personal rambles #mental health #not stargate

[masquenoire]

So, about my contract ending? Work just called and they want me back permanently starting from Tuesday, same hours but less days (just 4 days a week) to cover evenings which works out pretty good for me, leaving me free during the day!

#💀 ;; OOC #I swear to god I'm annoying the fuck out of ya'll with this but !!! #I went in earlier today and the boss said there's going to be contracts avaliable around Easter #Called me just now offering permanent night work which I'm going to take because holy shit #Not too many days a week and a nice stretch of work? #Beats sitting on my arse for 4 months #Only today and tomorrow to rest but fuck it I need money #And my hospital appointments are in the early afternoon so I can manage both #I can't believe 2023 is already turning kickass I'm crying <3 #Life's been so shit since 2019 so I'm so fucking happy #And being a permanent member I'll get staff discount so 10% off shopping with more during peak seasons #AHHHHH #Still going to do my best to write but these hours will be a lot more managable #Night work will be easier too as it's quiet so just warehouse/stacking #I swear to god I'm not gaslighting you all but asdfghjkl #I'm happy and can't believe it

[m0ther-of-p3arl]

sometimes being aromantic hits a little bit too hard and that's right now. like jesus fucking christ, i don't want to be in a romantic relationship. but at the same time i want to have a person who sticks with me for life through thick and thin, i just don't wanna kiss them or be romantic with them (not that theres anything wrong with platonic kisses btw).

i want to be supported by someone and i want to live with them and adopt cats and wake up in the morning and go into the kitchen, and they'll be making coffee and I'll come up and we'll hug. i want to get to know someone so deeply that no one else could ever even come close. i want someone who will never leave, no matter what. i want someone to cuddle on the couch with while we watch movies. i want someone to go on long and short vacations with. road trips and plane flights to other countries. i want a person who is here for me and perfect and we are defined by each other but also by ourselves.

and i don't want it to be fucking romantic. i don't want to kiss someone, I don't want them to call me baby, i don't want to make out on the couch or any of that shit. i don't want to be flirted with. i don't want to be asked "oh how's ___" like that's the only thing that matters in my life. i want to exist with this person, and without them, and be completely whole both ways. i don't want them to complete me, i want them to add onto me.

idk just some aromantic thoughts late at night. i'm fucking tired of amatonormativity. i'm done with that shit and you all should be too. let aromantic people exist. let us live in peace.

#felix and his rants #aromantic #idrk what this is i'm just fucking annoyed #someone made a comment earlier today and i regrettably didn't yell at them for it #so i'm letting out my anger thru tumblr SLDFLKSFLSKFLDSLK