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#I'm just one person squeezing running this blog into my spare time because it's what I wish I had when I was younger
1esbrarian · 1 year
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setting expectations:
I don't do background checks on every single post, nor do I police and block followers. I reblog from tag searches and/or recommended posts, and generally decide whether or not to reblog based on the post itself, not on the person who wrote it. if you are someone who expects blogs to be rigorously policed, then please feel free to unfollow and I wish you all the best.
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peachsayshi · 1 year
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How would your yandere version of gojo react to someone who’s being sneaky to reader? Or just to someone who constantly messes with her? Have a nice day btw
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ minors / ageless / blank blogs dni
gojo notices that you've been uncomfortable lately. he can't quite pinpoint what's bothering you, but he definitely can't keep ignoring the helpless look in your eyes.
"baby, what's wrong?" he asks one night.
you were peeling carrots, quietly preparing a delicious dinner to share with your lover. you started making these slow cooked meals about three weeks ago. comfort food, satoru thought to himself, but your dwindling enthusiasm over one of your favorite hobbies chips away at his heart.
you give him a small smile. "there's nothing wrong" you chirp, but your boyfriend grits his teeth at your pathetic lie.
you turn to glance back at the discarded orange ribbons, only to pause once again when you feel his large hand slowly caress the back of your palm.
"c'mon, you've got me all worried..." he insists, trying his best to reign in his frustration.
the front of your brows lift with concern, and he immediately leans forward to kiss away the tension. you breathe out a heavy sigh, carefully placing the peeler onto the cutting board before turning to face him. your fingers shake when you reach for the fabric of his shirt, and the pace of satoru's heart quickens at your odd behavior.
his mind runs rampant with the worst possible scenarios, but what he finally hears from you only fuels his anger.
he didn't know that you were being harassed by your new boss.
"he's just awful," you complain, shaking your head out of frustration, "he makes all these inappropriate comments, completely disregards any personal space that I have and leers every time I'm alone in the room with him. the whole thing makes me uncomfortable and I don't know what to do about it. I'm up for a promotion soon - I'm...worried if I say anything, then...then it might ruin everything I worked so hard for."
satoru's blood boils. his entire body feels unnaturally hot. he doesn't like that your voice sounds so small, so uncertain, and it blinds him with absolute rage.
the thought of another man having the audacity to ogle what belongs to him makes his stomach flip.
when your panicked eyes glances up at him from underneath your pretty lashes, is when he feels your grip tighten around his shirt.
"it's fine, satoru," you plea out of desperation, "I didn't want to tell because I don't want you to get upset about this. I'll be out of this department once I get my promotion. I just have to put up with his crap for a little while longer."
satoru doesn't have anything to say- he just stares at you with dead, cold eyes. his body is stiff when you stand on your tiptoes to brush your lips over his, and he only relaxes when he parts his lips to invite your tongue.
"you're not mad at me, are you?" you murmur, and he instantly shakes his head no.
"I'm just upset that you're having such a hard time," he exhales, and finds your waist to give you a reassuring squeeze. "I promise I'm not mad."
he eased your mind, however, it didn't stop the war waging inside his own.
unfortunately for him, he is still satoru gojo - the man has so much power and influence as the head of his clan, that he can't exactly just walk up to the piece of shit and knock his teeth out.
after all, he had to play by the rules of dealing with a non sorcerer.
one call to the ceo would easily solve the problem, but that option felt far too easy for him. instead, he spent every spare moment digging deep into the man who was stupid enough to fuck around with you. he gathered every ounce of information that he could find to potentially ruin his life, and then used it.
an envelope sent by an "anonymous" person was dropped off to your boss's home, revealing to his wife the series of texts between him and his many, many mistresses. satoru delighted in finding out that he was soon kicked out and living at a hotel.
that's when satoru began the fun little mind games. he would show up in the middle of the night knocking on the door of your boss's room before disappearing. he did it repeatedly for days, until the man began looking visibly distressed.
satoru would randomly appear at the foot of his bed, standing there like a ghost in the night until the man would wake up in sheer terror, but by the time the lights were on, the sorcerer had already vanished.
satoru would call him rat all hours but would never speak a word. he smiled with amusement when the man eventually broke down, begging to whoever it was on the receiving end to please leave him alone.
satoru would follow him from the office back to his hotel room every single night, keeping a safe distance to ensure he remained hidden in the shadows, all the while gleaming with pride as he watched the man shake with fear.
you were none the wiser to your boyfriends menacing shenanigans.
you came home one evening with a smile plastered on your face, a smile that satoru missed dearly, and he pretended to act pleasantly surprised.
"did you have a good day, angel?" he asks with a gentle kiss.
"I did actually!"
"that asshole isn't giving you a hard time anymore, right?" your boyfriend questions, embellishing his concern while feigning ignorance.
"actually, he backed off, but I definitely think it's because he's preoccupied with his upcoming divorce. he's been in really terrible shape lately..."
satoru shrugs his shoulders with indifference, "can't say I feel sorry for him..."
"I heard through the grapevine that he's submitted his resignation letter. although, it could just be petty office gossip..."
the corner of satoru's mouth twitches into a grin. he playfully taps the tip of your nose before leaning down to kiss your cheek. "well, all I can say is good fucking riddance."
please check pinned for requests x
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kamino-blues · 3 years
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501st Affection HC's (Part 1)
✨ Part 2 ✨
Rating: Pg-13 and sfw
Warnings: Fluff!!!! References to kissing, making-out, cuddling, and flirting!
Note: I'm finally starting to write for the 501st!! When I want to get a feel for characters I don't normally write for, I like to do affection headcanons to get a general feel for the character (that's why you see them pop up so much on my blog 😅💖). I hope you enjoy!!!
Rex
Rex is a complete and utter gentleman with you, constantly making sure that you feel comfortable with him
It takes a little while for him to show affection through touch, you would have to take the lead for some time
Loves it when you hold onto his arm, walking closely next to him
The ability to exchange quiet words, faces close to one another is one of his favorite things
Sometimes when the two of you are sitting in public next to each other, he would throw an arm around you (solely so that you two can be closer)
He is definitely a hand holder! Rex will send small hand squeezes when you two are in conversation with his other brothers
Is very protective of you, will keep a hand on the small of your back when you are in public
If you stray away from him for one reason or another, Rex would have eyes on you at all times
As you both get farther into your relationship, Rex would get bolder with his touches
Will pull you into his lap in public, wrapping his arms around you
If you are flustered and ask him what he was doing and mentioned that you guys are in public, he would tell you that no one could complain because he’s the Captain
At this you would usually hide your face in his shoulder, Rex letting out a small chuckle as he rests his chin on the top of your head
After a long make out session, he will pull you into a Keldabe kiss so that you both can catch your breath
Rex can be both a big spoon or a little spoon, it depended on the night
Usually he preferred to hold you, wrapping you up in his strong arms as you lean back on his chest
When he wakes up in nightmares, he definitely prefers that you hold him against your chest
Loves the feeling of your fingers running over his hair, it bring him comfort
Fives
Fives is a flirt, and is not afraid to try and make you flustered
Made it his personal goal to make you blush as much as possible when you first started dating! He was constantly sending compliments your way
He isn't afraid to give you affection, when you first started dating he made sure that you were close to each other when you were hanging out
When you are talking with him and his brothers, he will have an arm thrown over your shoulders, holding you to his side
Fives initiated your first kiss, kissing you with a passion that you had never had before
Will steal kisses in between shifts, and made sure to try and meet up with you if you were in the same area during work
Fives is the type who would pull you into a spare supply closet during work for a quick make out session
Would sneak up behind you to wrap you up in a hug, resting his head on the top of your head
When you two were alone, he was a lot more laidback, his goofy exterior fading
Fives tends to be drained by the end of his missions, so when he got to your apartment, he just wanted to be in your arms
He collapses on the couch usually, shifting as you sit down after putting on a holomovie
Will lean his head on you, you leaning your head on top of his in return
Sometimes he would shift, his head falling to lean closer to your chest, so you can wrap your arms around him
This man absolutely loves cuddles, and has practically begged you for them
Loves it when you lay your head on his chest, using him as a pillow (and vice versa!)
Echo
When you first got together, Echo would follow your lead when it came to how affectionate you wanted to be
He would take mental notes on what you liked, and would make sure that you were happy and comfortable
Honestly he would look on the holonet to get dating tips since this man had no clue what he was doing at first (He would also go to Fives for help!)
As soon as Echo learned that you were comfortable with him, he started to get a little more bolder with his touches
Hands lingering on your shoulders, arms, and hands
Will grab your hand in public more often, finding comfort in having contact with you as you walk side by side
Echo would even kiss you in greeting, even when his brothers are around (Fives would fake groan, but you would give him a look and pull Echo back into a kiss to get Fives to stop)
When Echo gets back from missions, he loves it when you run up to him and wrap your arms around him
Echo will pick you up in these moments, spinning you around before catching your lips with his own
Is a complete and utter gentleman!
Keldabe kisses, all the time, he loves to pull you into them after you kiss
Likes it when you lay in-between his legs, resting back against his chest while you two watch holomovies
Echo also liked that position so that you two can read together! He’ll have his arms wrapped around you to hold the datapad in front of you, and he’ll read to you
When you curl up next to him in bed, he will tell you all different stories about his brothers and the 501st! Mostly about the antics Fives pulls him into
Will always give you a goodnight kiss!
When it comes to cuddles, he likes holding onto you. Will trace shapes into your back until you fall asleep! He prefers that you fall asleep before him
Hardcase
Hardcase is a cuddly type of person!
When you meet up, he will gather you up into a hug, excited to see you
Lots of kisses, no matter where you are he’ll lean in to kiss you
Sends you winks from across the room when you make eye contact with him, and sometimes is even blowing you a kiss
When you and Hardcase hold hands, he’s swinging your arms back and forth
Is the master of giving you piggyback rides! Will randomly be like ‘Hey hun want help walking?’ And then will offer
The type of person to throw you over his shoulder and carry you, making you a giggling mess as you tell him to put you down
If anyone looks at you the wrong way, Hardcase will fight them
You have had to hold him back a few times, and once you pulled him away Hardcase would pull you into the nearest desolate spot to pull you into a kiss (if you weren’t out with anyone else of course)
Hardcase is chaotic!! And even if you are not a chaotic person he will make you act chaotic with him
One chaotic affection tactic you picked up from Hardcase was jumping on him and holding on, refusing to let go
This causes Hardcase to break down in laughter, ‘trying’ to get you to let go
Hardcase can definitely both be a little and a small spoon!
He loves it when you hold him, pressing kisses to the back of his neck
But he also loves it when he does it to you! So it really depends on the day
Taglist: @sitherin-mxschief , @kirinpl , @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s , @monako-jinn-stories , @os274 ,
If you want to be added to my taglist please let me know!💖💖
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whumpmatsus · 3 years
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Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!
And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺
FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu
Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3
second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3
-
When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.
All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.
There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.
He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.
Then he starts to remember things.
He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.
Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.
They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.
It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.
He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.
Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.
He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.
A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”
“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”
It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”
He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”
“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”
Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”
“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”
She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”
“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”
Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?
Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”
She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.
“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”
“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”
-
Coming home is kind of weird.
Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.
Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.
Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.
The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.
He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.
His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.
It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.
Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.
He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.
There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”
“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”
Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”
His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”
“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.
Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”
Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”
“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…
Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”
It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.
His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.
His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.
“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.
He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”
The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.
He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”
Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.
It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”
“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”
Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”
-
After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.
He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.
Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.
Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.
Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”
“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”
“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”
“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”
Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”
“Mh. I hope so.”
“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”
Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”
A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.
After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”
“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”
“― My leg itches.”
“O-oh. So… scratch it??”
He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”
“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.
After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”
Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”
Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”
“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.
“Heh, no problem. All good now?”
“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”
Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”
His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”
“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.
He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”
His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”
“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”
“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”
He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”
“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”
“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”
He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.
-
When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.
As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.
He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.
“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”
“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”
“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”
“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”
Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.
He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.
A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”
Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”
“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”
With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.
Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.
It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”
He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.
“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”
“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”
“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”
The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”
Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”
“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”
-
True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.
All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.
After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.
Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.
He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”
Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”
Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”
“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”
He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”
Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”
… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.
They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”
“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”
Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”
Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”
“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”
He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”
“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”
He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.
Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”
Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”
Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.
-
Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.
Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.
When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…
… Oh.
He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”
His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”
“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.
He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.
He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”
Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”
“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”
Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”
Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”
“For…?”
“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”
He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”
The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”
“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”
Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”
An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.
Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”
“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”
He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”
“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.
They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.
Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.
Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.
It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.
He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?
He thinks this is the reason.
Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…
… For once, he’s happy to be alive.
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