#I'm gifing to cope | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heardchef · 2 years

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if u ever have the time i would love to see a gifset of the ep 8 tina and carmy scene where she says "you know how much i loved mikey, right? and carmy asks "how much?" and tina says "so much"…on a rewatch that scene rlly struck me why carmy would ask that after he heard about the napkins…like he's just so tired of learning new and shocking and difficult things about his big brother he just wants to hear someone say something kind...wants to feel validated that he's not the only one who still loves mikey, so much, even after everything...anyway sorry if u already gif-ed it im just emo now

noted! i haven't gifed it and would love to! some of my favorite conversations in the show are when the other people in michael's life are like, "yeah, carmy. i loved him too." it's like he forgets or is so caught up in his own pain, that the idea that other people around him are suffering and coping with michael's death is... unfathomable, and when he does finally hear that someone else loved michael, he can't help but just soften at the thought.

also i still remember your ask about all the moments carmy calls out/says mikey's name and i'm planning to make that as well, i've just been sidelined by JAW thirst.

#also...#michael was the one to give tina her original apron right?#the bear #the bear fx #ask #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #tina #give tina a last name challenge

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farfartothewestofeverywhere · 1 year

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so i'm still annoyed about this tumblr person who blocked me (no not that one) – like – wow tumblrinas are block-happy jfc. — anyway — i was in the tag for a show, liking & reblogging, and i think i saw a post asking for suggestions of what to GIF for the current episode. excitedly I mentioned three scenes/moments i really loved and would love to see. later i went to try and check back on the post/her blog and couldn't find it. then eventually realized i had been blocked. as far as i could tell – all for engaging with a post in the show tag.

i just. I'm so mad. not a ton of people are GIFing that show and they have SO many good GIFs. and now i can't see and reblog them. because...i suggested GIFs in a post literally asking for suggestions???

now I've looked at the blog since then – because of course i can't let things go and it does seem like she's a block-happy person. which is "fine." like. a strange number of posts about how much she enjoys blocking without thinking twice. so. ok. maybe it's not 100% me. maybe because I was too chipper responding, maybe because i suggested more than one scene. i don't fucking know.

but being blocked. just know. that if other people out there are like me – being blocked is one of the most painful experiences on the internet. like it DESTROYS me. i even hesitated blocking some porn bots until this most recent surge because i wasn't always 100% sure they weren't just tumblr people who happen to enjoy porn and the stuff i reblog.

like i AGONIZE over blocking someone. because i know how it makes me feel. now. i have unfollowed people more readily. not VERY. but there have been times I've asked people to tag things and they don't – and i can't have certain things untagged on my dash – so I'll unfollow. i don't block. because they're not part of my experience anymore. and someone reblogging from me...like...whatever you add to a post will NEVER bother me. (probably). but I'm definitely not going to block someone over ANYTHING trivial. and especially not over one possibly misinterpreted interaction.

like believe me i remember almost every time I've been blocked on any social media. and it fucking HURTS. it hurts like being ghosted by a crush. and it's mostly that lack of closure. WHY. what did i do? why can't i get a chance to fix it or know what I've done to cause harm? why can't i be asked politely to please no longer interact?

i get that no one OWES me that. and your online experience is your own to curate. but that doesn't change the effect it has on me. it Hurts so painfully. absolutely more than it should. but it does. and I've tried to learn to let go. but there is still the absolutely horrible pain in my chest. physically, mentally, and more – from realizing I've been blocked.

anyway. also i assume there are a lot of cptsd-related reasons for this but i have no coping mechanisms or real outlet or support and my therapist is worthless when it comes to the real, hard, deep stuff ✌️

thanks for reading or, lol, not blocking. as always if you want me to add a certain tag, especially to posts like this, that you want to be able to filter – please just let me know. <3

#personal #rant #tumblr #long post

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