#I'm dealing with doctors and getting the help I need it'll just be a bit longer of the two posts a day or whatever

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey I just got my first period and I'm so fucking dysphoric about it what do I do I'm so confused I feel like shit and my dysphoria is through the roof

Lee says:

I would start off by exploring your menstrual product options which can make it easier to cope with having your period.

Period underwear is probably the easiest product to use because you already know how to wear underwear so you don't have to worry about putting it on wrong. Period underwear has built-in absorbent layers and is reusable and discreet to wear, but some people might feel self-conscious about washing them at the end of the day if they aren't used to washing their own underwear and don't have a private bathroom, or they might have dysphoria about washing them. You will likely need more than one pair (at least 2 pairs) even if you wash them daily because they need to dry, so there's a bit of an up-front cost but then since they're reusable it can be cheaper than pads and tampons in the long run.

The step below period underwear in terms of usability is probably pads. They tend to be pretty easy to use and also don't require insertion into the body, but if you don't place them right sometimes blood can leak around the edges where the pad isn't. Another placement issue might come up if you wear some styles of men's underwear, like boxers, it can be hard to use pads unless you wear a different type of underwear underneath which can feel bulky. Similarly to period underwear, blood on pads might feel more noticeable than internal options, which might increase dysphoria for some. You will need to buy pads over and over, so even they aren't that expensive to buy, the cost of buying them can add up. If your family buys the pads for you or you can get them at school for free then that isn't a big of a deal, but it does matter for some people.

Some trans people swear by menstrual cups because they're reusable and cost-effective. Once inserted correctly, they can be worn for up to 12 hours depending on flow, and the feeling of the blood can be less noticeable than pads or period underwear since it's not coming out. It can also be useful if you like swimming or have swimming classes, and/or if you're in a situation where you're stealth and have access to a private bathroom to wash the menstrual cup but don't feel like you can hide a whole package of pads in your stuff. But it can be hard to find the right size/model sometimes, so it can require multiple different brands and sizes to get the one that works best for you. Some people find the feeling of wearing one uncomfortable, have a hard time with the insertion, worry it'll affect their IUD, etc.

Tampons and menstrual discs have similar pros and cons as menstrual cups, although tampons are not reusable and some menstrual discs are. In all three cases, the process of insertion can be dysphoria-inducing for some trans individuals, but you also have the benefits of not having to feel the blood. You will also have more security to avoid leaks since you could choose to wear a tampon/menstrual cup/menstrual disc and then also wear a pad or menstrual underwear as backup.

After you've figured out what products work for you, I'd switch gears to the long game which is trying to stop your period in a healthy way. If you're out as trans, talk to your guardians and doctors about trying puberty blockers or using birth control to stop your period.

If you're not out as trans, you can still try convincing your parents to take you to the doctor to discuss the use of birth control in stopping your period without mentioning gender dysphoria:

You could say you have a heavy flow and starting birth control will make it lighter

It can help with anemia because you aren’t losing any iron through your period blood if you don’t get your period

You could say your friend/s have done it and it helped them

To stop period related cramping and pain

You could say you have gross period side-effects (like diarrhea and more farting) for the week of your period

It can make your periods more regular (or make it so you can control when it happens so you’re not caught off guard)

Helps with PMSing so you don’t have to deal with any of that

It’s more convenient and you don’t have to remember to change your pad/tampon

If you’re disabled, it can help save spoons and effort and make your week easier

You may not be able to change your pads regularly if you’re disabled and that’s kinda unsanitary and the pads can break so stopping your period can help with that type of stress

Save money on pads/tampons

Save time having to use pads/tampons and keep visiting the bathroom during class

It can help with migraines if you get headaches or migraines near your period

It can help with PCOS, PMDD, and endometriosis if you have any of those conditions

It might lower your risk of ovarian and endometrial cancer (but increase your risk of breast cancer) so that's something to discuss with a doctor based on your family history and personal risk factor

If you swim, it’s better to not have your period (And it’s inconvenient for athletes in general)

It can help regulate your mood (especially if you’re mentally ill and find mood fluctuations around your period hard to handle)

Why have a period when you can not have one? Some people feel there are no positive things about having a period because they feel it is inconvenient/[insert personal adjectives]

It’s pretty safe and many people do it, and if your doctor prescribes it and monitors you then there’s not a big risk in it

How do I talk about birth control with my dad?

Here’s a NY Times article called “For the Teen Who No Longer Wants a Period”, I’d start the conversation by sending them that link then if they ask more, give them the excuses above!

Finally, there are coping strategies that you can explore to manage the feelings of dysphoria that you may experience when you have your period-- this post has more info on that.

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #menstruation #dysphoria #periods #trans #blood m

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I’m so excited for ur Jetiri au 🤭🤭🤭

Me fucking too. And just because you asked, why don't we move the draft I've been working on right over here for you. I'm assuming you mean my modern au wheelchair Jake jeytiri shit, so that's what this is:

Quick recap from the Tommy post:

-Tommy was on a four year job with Grace studying botany in the rainforest in Brazil when Jake was paralyzed. Jake knew how excited he was about this once in a lifetime experience, and basically threatened to end Norm if he tattled to Tommy.

-Norm's solution was getting Jake into Mo'at's free clinic on a favor. He'd volunteered there a lot while he was getting his medical degree and ended up liking it so much he works there when he's got a free moment between research and projects. So he has a tiny bit of leeway to beg for a spot for Jake from Mo'at and Sylwanin.

-Jake is not the normal clientele for the free clinic. They are on the edge of the reservation, and mostly only cater to the native population and those nearby. Sylwanin tells Norm this, but Mo'at is pretty sure this'll work out. She can just tell that for some reason they need Jake just as much as he needs them.

-When Jake first shows up, Neytiri has last minute replaced Sylwanin for the month because she had to fill in for a doctor who had to go on emergency leave a few counties over. Jake will later insist this was divine intervention, whereas at the time Neytiri was fairly sure she was being punished.

-Neytiri is eighteen and freshly graduated from high school, and completely sure she does NOT want to work in the free clinic for the rest of her life. She isn't exactly sure what she will do, but it'll be something big and life changing.

-Jake is twenty-two and his life is over. He went from being a promising young marine one second, to being a burden on everyone around him the next. And now even this girl at the clinic is forced to deal with him when she wasn't supposed to.

-They start of very slow, with halfhearted attempts at weightlifting that Jake's heart is clearly not in very much. Neytiri starts to get a little more invested. She insists that he needs more wheelchair dexterity training, and stands on the back of his chair and makes Jake cart her around to all her other patients for a week. At first it was a joke but it quickly becomes a floor is lava type situation, where if she touches the ground she looses. She takes them swimming in the pond, forces Tsu'tey to help her create a wheelchair obstacle course and then makes he and Neytiri take turns racing Jake through it, takes him to an archery range for the arm strength.

-They start to get more and more ridiculous as she becomes pretty sure what Jake needs is to realize he can still do everything he wants. They go skydiving, play paintball, and go on a hike when Norm manages to rig a chair with wheels that go outdoors better.

-O b v i o u s l y one of the most important tests/exercises they do regularly is just like, making sure his dick works. Just to check. Gotta be sure.

-When Sylwanin comes back and asks her mother where Neytiri is so she can say hi, Mo'at rolls her eyes. Sylwanin is then almost run over by the classic daily Neytiri and Jake wheelchair race, who both then start demanding Mo'at declare them the winner. Mo'at picks Jake because she loves bothering Neytiri (and her soft spot for Jake is as well hidden as the sun) and Neytiri once again blames his experience and they bicker as she jumps on Jake's lap for a ride to her next patient.

-Sylwanin: ...wha-

Mo'at: shhhhh. Let it happen.

-The not so secret reason that Jake was at the clinic was less for his recovery and more for the literal depression he clearly had. It was Norm's "I will not rat you out to Tommy" condition. Jake considers himself all cured of that shit now, Norm, but everyone else isn't so sure. They all have come to love (and be super annoyed by) Jake and Neytiri together, but it's important Jake is able to be not depressed without Neytiri there.

-Jake: psh, why do I need to be happy without Neytiri?

Norm: because it's normal and healthy, Jake.

Jake: okay but what you are asking for is literally impossible.

-They give him a week. A week at home, NO NEYTIRI. The week does pass, and it actually goes well for Jake. He takes some independent trips in his brand new Norm finagled (bc the real ones are crazy expensive) Jake drivable truck, he works out on his own, reconnects with his old friend Trudy from the marines. He feels competent. He can't help but feel like he owes that confidence to Neytiri.

-Neytiri is noticeably sulking around the clinic, to the point that Sylwanin almost ALMOST calls Jake for her. It's insane. They're known each other for like three months at this point. Sylwanin has known her fiance her entire life, and she loves Tsu'tey, but sometimes he drives her crazy. They survived her month away, and she has work trips often.

-When Jake pulls back up to the clinic on his own in his own truck, they have the most dramatic reunion ever. It's like something out of a romcom. The regulars HAVE to applaud.

-It's to almost no ones surprise that when Jake announces his intention to head out traveling, Neytiri announces she'll be going with him. They spend the summer sending pictures from Niagara Falls, The Great Canyon, Arashiyama Bamboo Grove, the black sand beaches in Iceland, The Great Barrier Reef, Vaadhoo Island and many other places.

-They return happy, married, and pregnant; again, to no ones surprise (although Sylwanin manages to muster up a little outrage).

-Norm is so close to ratting Jake out to Tommy at this point.

#they are #children #we forget the amount of stupid shit neytiri did in movie one #they are one braincell buddies they are jocks #sylwanin and mo'at are the nerds neytiri is a JOCK #but we will stop here #FOR NOW.... #jake sully #neytiri sully #jeytiri #norm spellman #mo'at #sylwanin #tommy sully #grace augustine #tsu'tey #trudy chacon #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #avatar 2009 #melissa's asks #melissa on avatar (cameron) #we are mindmelding get in #modern au (wheelchair! jake edition)

[skippyv20]

Hi Skippy! I was thinking this morning about how blessed  this entire community is to have you as our fearless leader. I’ve followed you for years, and have often sought your advice and counsel on many very personal issues. You never fail to come through with wisdom, empathy, and kindness. So thank you for being you and shining some much-needed light onto this world. 

I wanted to give you a long-overdue update. I am the attorney anon who wrote last year about mental health, job, and family struggles, including a challenging marriage, a child with special needs, and a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder after suffering 30 years with wrong diagnoses and medication.

First the good news: my moods have stabalized on a new cocktail of meds, and I haven't had a severe depressive episode for almost a year! My mania is better too, but I do have some uncomfortable side effects. I am on lithium, and I worry about kidney issues and/or developing diabetes, which are two possible side effects.

Second bit of good news - I'm now working back at my old organization. If you told me that this time last year, I'd never have believed you. I was convinced my days as an atty were over because of my mental health issues. I considered filing for disability. The role is one I haven't held in 8 years, I had moved onto a prestigious position in that org before jumping ship to another org for a promotion. So it's a bit humbling to be back in this role, but I'm grateful to be here. I was stuck in a nightmare at my last job, which included at the end fighting disability discrimination.

Bad news: I still worry about my son, who is now 7, and doesn't seem to be where he needs to be. I've done everything for him, 4-5 different therapies a week since his premature birth. He has a physical disability and, while he is very smart and can keep up with his class, he just seems different than other boys his age.

My husband is incapable of providing emotional support, and I do think sometimes I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. I am not happy, he is not happy, but I'm so afraid to cut the cord. My brother is going through a divorce and I know if I do too it'll cause my elderly parents even more distress. But this is a guy who - get this - snapped at waiters who came to the table carrying (free) cake to sing  happy birthday a few weeks ago. It was crazy and scary, and i just don't want to deal with a person like this anymore. I'm 42 now, not in my mid-30s like when you told me to be strong and leave him years ago...is it too late? I see signs of aging when I look in the mirror and I've gained some weight. I'm worried I've lost all of my appeal and don't want to be alone. My husband is very responsible and does do a lot of things around the house and for our son. If he didn't, it'd be a no brainer to divorce, but maybe it's worth salvaging for the help with things I can't always get to because of my issues? Not to mention our son would be crushed. 

Hi! So nice to hear from you. Thank you for such kind words, but I must say…I am NOT a leader. I am just here struggling along with everyone else. We get through one day at a time, together! Nice to know some things have changed. That is so wonderful your meds are working so well. Don’t spend time worrying about the side effects. If you focus on those you are robbing yourself of joy. If you just keep going for your scheduled appts with your doctor, he will be watching for you.

I understand what you mean about being in one job and going back to another. I was working as a secretary in the government. I was chosen to create a new intake position, that was non existent. It was a six month term. At the end of the six months, I was back as a secretary being supervised again, by the same woman I had been supervising for six months. Everyone thought it was so strange. I didn’t though. I look at things differently I guess. A job is a job, and whatever it is, as long as you know you are doing the best you can….it doesn’t matter what the job is. You just take it one day at a time. After all, a job is not your whole life…right?

Children are strange little things. They do things at their own rate. He sounds like he is doing very well, he is keeping up! Great job! Seems different than other boys? That is ok…your child is who he is….it’s not a contest. Different is ok. My daughter was different as a child, an old soul. She is different now as she is bipolar. There are quirks….makes life interesting…..embrace him, just as he is….

I will always advise anyone who is being emotionally or physically abused to leave. You say you aren’t happy, and he isn’t happy? Perhaps a marriage counsellor? People get too comfy in their lives, and don’t want to change things. No one likes the unknown future. You mention your parents, and your son being distressed? Timing is always a problem…when is the best time? You say your husband is a great help…see to me…there must still be something there, I couldn’t find one good reason to stay with my ex, and believe me…he did all the cooking, he cleaned like no other, he did everything….that was one of the biggest problems for me…I couldn’t do anything, he told me that all the time.

Bipolar people can see things differently. They can hear things said one way only….it will be negative. It takes time, love and patience to communicate with someone who is bipolar. People don’t understand that unless you tell them. I have had to learn to speak to my daughter differently. Maybe you need to explain that to your husband. If you want to save this marriage, it will take work on both sides. Communication is everything. I know some think being bipolar one just needs meds….no…not true. It’s much more involved than that.

Anyways, I am so proud of you! You sound so much better. I really, really appreciate you dropping by, so nice to hear from you. You are in my prayers. I send love and hugs….and…thank YOU for staying with me!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas,

so, i dont really know exactly how to word things right so please bear with me while i try to explain a bit.

i think i have bipolar disorder (or something similar, im still looking into things), but i dont know if im just going crazy and imagining things. theres not really anyone in my life i can talk to about it to gauge their opinion, so im kind of left by myself to deal with it.

i dont have a trusted adult or loved one i can go to for help, and ive not been to a doctor since probably 2017 at the latest so im not even sure who id be making an appointment with to discuss anything like this. ive considered trying to get myself into therapy but im afraid that if i go in saying that i think im bipolar and have other mental illnesses (im about 99% certain i have anxiety and likely some sort of depressive disorder too, but that might be more linked with the mood swings of bipolar) that its the wrong way to go about it? like, i might just be really ignorant but i dont think thats how therapy works is it?

basically im worried that if i go in saying the disorders i think i have, then theyll tell me im exaggerating or that i need other people to back me up or that i do need to see my gp doctor (which, again, i dont actually think i have one) or that it isnt my place to try to diagnose myself etc.

im not really sure what im asking here? maybe if you have any advice/experience about what therapy is actually like or what i could expect? or a better way to go about getting help? i really dont know honestly aha, sorry

Well, you've definitely come to the right place lol, I've been to and ghosted many a therapist! (Don't ghost your therapist!)

Actually, recently I started therapy again and it's been a great experience, so let me tell you about it. Warning: I live in the US, so if you live elsewhere, it might be different.

When you start therapy, they're going to ask you a LOT of questions. Lots about your background, your childhood, your feelings, etc. It'll feel a bit invasive, but make sure to be honest! Like brutally honest. Like if you're like...'I might be feeling this way but idk if I'm faking..' tell them that. They need to know everything.

Then, if you're a minor, they'll talk to your parents and get their insight. If you have issues with your parents, make sure to tell them that BEFORE this part happens, so they can take what your parents say with a grain of salt.

Last, they'll give you a 'tentative diagnosis.' This means that this is what they think you have, but it's not a die-hard medical diagnosis. They'll treat you based on this, but if you ever wanted accommodations in school or anything for it, you would have to go to a clinical psychiatrist to get it written up.

Here's the thing: the diagnosis my surprise you or even make you feel invalidated. If it does? Tell them that. Because, two things: One- they may have gotten something wrong. Or two- they need to know if you aren't understanding something fully.

To be very personal, I am diagnosed with both depression and anxiety. When I started therapy recently and again got those diagnoses, I wasn't surprised. But I also was told I have 'illness-anxiety disorder' which is the new term for a hypochondriac. I was super insulted because I was picturing the stereotypical hypochondriac who fakes illnesses for attention (this was uneducated of me) but my therapist explained that this version of anxiety more means that I have a lot of anxiety related to being nervous to get sick or the results of getting sick. Which was like- oh. yeah. I do panic every time someone sneezes on me. My therapist said this has become increasingly common since COVID.

All this to say it sounds like seeking out therapy might be a great way for you to get the answers you're looking for. But even if they're not the answers you think they'll be, remember that your feelings and experiences are still extremely valid and no less real.

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #therapy

[poetriarchy]

i've been relatively inactive on tumblr for the past few weeks but i NEED TO VENT about this somewhere because i'm losing my marbles and being an adult means you have no one to tell you what to do in these situations. i've had a sinus infection for like the past four weeks (maybe four and a half? I've kind of lost count), been doing the neti pot for the past two weeks or so, did flonase for a bit before i stopped because it was making me nauseous, etc.. It's definitely better than it was three weeks ago but every time i think I'm getting better it just gets worse again and then i feel like shit. initially i had like crazy congestion, crazy fatigue, headaches/sinus pressure, maybe a low fever. now all of those come and go, with the exception of the fever (haven't had that in forever). i got prescribed antibiotics a week and a half ago but i had to cry to the doctor about it in order to even get them because she was really convinced it was viral and not bacterial, which i totally understand. she was like you can start taking them whenever and it's fine, i wouldn't prescribe them if i thought it was a really bad idea, but maybe wait a couple days and do the neti pot + flonase combo. so now i'm here. still haven't taken the antibiotics, i feel stupid for not taking them after everything i went through to get them but she kinda scared me about antibiotic resistance lmao and now i'm worried about dealing with side effects on top of everything else, especially because apparently only .5-2% of all sinus infections are bacterial so idek if it'll work.......i'm definitely going to take them by this weekend at this point i think, but i'm trying to decide if I should start taking them now.....have a few deadlines on friday and don't wanna fuck up my equilibrium even more. beloved mutuals and followers alike. help me

#a #this is so stupid #poll

[regular-lord-reckoner]

it is spring time and appropriately, i have been a very busy bee !!

i'm on much needed pto and it is wonderful. i somehow managed to get completely caught up on all my work before i left so i'm not stressed about when i go back next week

i've mostly been sleeping a lot which i desperately needed and i've been doing a lot of things i've meant to for a while now

namely scheduling doctors appointments and updating my insurance everywhere i need to and that sort of shit, plus some legal stuff my mom and i are doing for some of my dad's stuff.

since monday i also started finally working on my closet again. i had to stop last time and toss everything back in there because...yeah, but now that i can spread some things out again i've made a lot of progress so far

every day i go in with the goal of getting out at least one bag of stuff to throw away and i've also moved out a bunch of clothes i'll need to sort through and a few other things i might be able to give away

feel like i can actually breathe in there again so that's nice. needed that. i'll probably work on it some more over the next two days and then take a break but it should be a lot easier now that i've really gotten the ball rolling to finish it up and fingers fucking crossed this time it'll be all done by the fall where it can just be my nice closet again and i can actually find things !!

i also finally went to get my oil changed today and fortunately there were no other problems so that went smoothly !! i got it washed, too (not that it matters now because it's pouring rain outside now lol) and i stopped to get my mom a birthday card and a gift bag for her present since her birthday is on monday !!

other than all of that i'm just trying to take it easy and unwind. trying to still rest a lot and not push myself too hard or do anything i don't feel up to.

for the past, mmm, i dunno, while i've just been full of piss and vinegar if that wasn't evident so i've tried to just be real quiet and keep to myself until i can feel less overwhelmed.

i'm still in that time out corner for now but i'm starting to feel a lot better so that's something! i've been doing a lot of cleaning lately as well (i did my bathroom on monday and will be doing laundry all throughout the week as week as well as the usual dishes and garbage duty) so that usually helps me feel a bit better.

it's also very cathartic just...throwing a bunch of shit away !! and having more space !! yay !!

oh, i also finally had therapy again after like...a month and i'm not sure yet what my new insurance situation will look like, but i think we're all happy to be done with my old insurance (she was telling me about something weird they did that i just...cannot fathom (something about mailing her a paper credit card that no one would accept ?? idk), but oh well, good riddance !!) and i'm slowly but surely working on paying her back !!

lastly, i tried a new coffee place today because i'm still trying to figure out which local coffee spot will be my new favorite now that i no longer haunt starbucks or dunkin and i went to this new one today and i....i definitely ordered a chai...a 32 oz one at that because why not, i love chai.... whatever they gave me definitely was not chai.

i'm not sure what it is exactly, but it's definitely got coffee in it and i thought at first maybe it was a dirty chai but no. and it's no big deal, i took it and just drove on but what's baffling to me is i was the only customer at that time.

nobody in front of me, no one behind me and maybe they were doing a mobile order or something but i had to sit there for a few minutes while they made it and it was...not at all what i was expecting, but also not bad !! haven't had an iced coffee in a minute so i'll take it !! (they also put a little chocolate covered espresso bean on the top which was very good)

anyway, i thought that was kinda funny. i've also finished all my chores and errands for the day now so i might take a nap or i might read or who knows what i might do, i actually have time to myself !!!!

just wanted to give a little update since for once it isn't me just bitchin' about things XD

hope if you're reading this that you're doing well and i'll be back to being a human (or as close to it as i get) ....sometime !! <3

#nothing bad for once !! #just a longer post

[morvantmortuary]

No pressure to answer this ask, but—if you didn't know—I got the news today that I have some precancerous skin cells that need to be evicted/excised in about a week. I'm fine, but I'm a little overwhelmed? Processing? Disassociating? I would love some Morvant comfort, if you don't mind. Maybe, how they would react and/or help if their S/O got a similar diagnosis? (Also, I hope you're having a great day <3)

I'm sorry this has taken me so long, bud, but I've been thinking about it since you sent it in!! I had somehow missed that post, and I'm sorry it's something you have to deal with right now. I'm sure it'll all go super smoothly, and then it'll be something you don't have to worry about any more, okay? 🖤 I'm flattered you thought of the Morvants to help you feel more at ease, babe :) They all have their ways, as you'll see under the cut!

Maxi would be doing his best not to hover, ngl. The day you found out, he would have insisted on going with you to the appointment, if you were comfortable with that. If you didn't want him to go in with you, he'd be content to hang in the waiting room (making cheerful conversation with whoever was there, despite the fact that whoever was on the other end of that would have the faintest feeling of something being... off. it's all the Death!). Or if you wanted him to go in with you, he'd be happy to make small talk with your doctor, anatomy guy to anatomy person, as he does, until you got the news.

Once you'd heard you needed the procedure, he'd be sitting on his hands not to ask a million questions, so as not to overwhelm you. He'd drive you to wherever you wanted to go after: your place, the House, somewhere to grab a bite, a park to just sit and get some air for a bit. He'd maybe tilt his hand a little bit by sitting closer to you than usual, be a bit more reluctant to let go of your hand, but he'd be his usual chipper self nonetheless. He'd only reluctantly go handle clients, living or deceased, as needed, but he'd insist he'd have his phone on him the whole time if you needed him to come back. (And he'd jump whenever he thought he heard it make a noise, too - imagine him sitting with a grieving couple burying someone's mom, and then from his pocket comes a loud chorus of the little laser noises baby alligators make. Very confusing for all involved.)

The minute you were busy - playing a game, watching a show, having a nap - he'd be googling the procedure and everything that goes into aftercare, researching statistics, all the stuff a worrywart would do. Partially so he can get himself to calm down and stop mentally catastrophizing, as he also does, but mostly so he can find some way to be reassuring if you wanted to talk about it. When you brought it up, he'd be all smiles. "It's super common, darlin'," he'd soothe, acting like he definitely knew that the whole time and hadn't been up reading everything he could find online at three am. "Bodies just do that, sometimes, it's like they trip over their own mechanisms and glitch. Livin' things have a habit of gettin' confused. But it'll be fine, you'll see - they'll take care of it, and it'll just be a one-and-done kinda deal." He'd promise this with a kiss to your forehead. "And you won't have to lift a finger after the fact, I'll be your butler as long as you need," he'd joke.

He’d only be a little nervous in the sense that he wasn’t sure if his usual death jokes would be fine, or be somewhat upsetting. Not that this was even going to be a possibility, of course - he just knows health scares can make people sensitive. He’d hesitate a little bit if when he asked if you wanted to go sit at your usual spot in the cemetery, or would maybe be a little more inclined to borrow the mustang from Hex instead of taking the hearse. You might catch him once or twice cutting himself off after what sounds like a set-up for one of his grim puns, suddenly trailing off before following it with a shy smile and a “Sorry, lost my train of thought.” He’d even be cautious about what horror movies or spooky web videos the pair of you watched, if you even felt like watching them at all; he’d make a point to carefully steer clear of anything to do with hospital horror or medicine, instead opting for creature features or ghosts - something with a definite third party threat.

The day of, he wouldn't even consider not going with you. He'd be there the whole time (even in the room, depending on the treatment), happily telling you every weird fact he knew about skin to try and keep you distracted during the process. afterward he'd be dedicated to catering to you as much as possible, keeping you comfortable (at your place or the House as you preferred) and playing up the whole butler thing whenever you need something with an awful British accent and a bit of a RiffRaff bent back, just to make you laugh. You could definitely expect some of his cookies he makes for clients, and some fresh-squeezed lemonade to go with them, but whatever you wanted, honestly, he'd be happy to make for you or go get. The rest of the time, he'd be wrapped around you like a sloth on your couch in an old t-shirt and sweats, only letting go whenever you needed to free yourself for some reason. He's a hugger - it's just as much for him as it is for you.

He'd insist on being there too when you went for your follow-up, but everything turns out fine, so he'd just think of the whole ordeal as one of those one-off kind of scary things that happens when you love someone in a mortal body. (Although if there was the possibility, he'd ask if there were any tissue samples for you to keep if you wanted them, just because he thought they might be a neat souvenir. :'D)

Hex is a little less white-knuckled about the whole thing, as always. He'd be concerned, for sure: as someone who deals mostly with the spectral part of things, bodies occasionally make him nervous with just how they can go rogue. But he'd be more of the approach that until something happened, there was nothing to worry about. "It'll be fine, querida," he'd say that afternoon, after finding out you needed the procedure. (He would've gone with you to the appointment if you asked him to, but he figures you'll let him know when you need some moral support, so he's a bit more relaxed about things.) "They caught it, we'll go hand over some of your skin, it'll all be no big deal." He'd kiss the back of your hand, giving you his best 'do I look worried?' smile.

He pointedly does not google things, because the more he knows, the more his brain spins it around like shoes in a dryer. But you'd probably notice that between now and the day you'd go in to get it done, he'd be baking more than usual: bread, cookies, concha, even something fried like beignets, any recipe he had knocking around in his skull that he knew worked with your dietary needs. (Just not pie, his pies are cursed.) You'd be working on your draft in another room, or streaming a game, and he'd wander in with something that smelled heavenly on a plate. "Here, baby, you gotta eat some of this this, I got bored and made too much," he'd say, setting it down in front of you while still in a flour-covered apron. He'd stand there absently wiping his hands on it, watching whatever you were doing idly. "What do you think you want for dinner, anyway? I was thinking chilaquiles, but like, if you were feeling something else, I can do that. I can even try something new, if you want, I've been needing something to dick around with," he'd say, shrugging like this was all totally normal. But secretly, he'd be keeping himself busy in the kitchen because it took up more of his brain than his photography. When it's just him and his camera, he has too much time between framing and shooting to let his mind wander to places he didn't want it to. Cooking (especially baking) requires focus, and more involved use of his hands. If he kept busy, he couldn't find time to think about it, and if he couldn't think about it, he couldn't worry. You'd eat even better than usual between your appointment and the procedure, which is wild, because he feeds you pretty well to begin with. On the day of, there'd be a chance he'd show up to your procedure with brownies for the clinic staff, just because he'd filled the whole kitchen by that point.

When he wasn't in the kitchen, Hex would be a bit like a prickly seedpod from outside - one part of him would seemingly be stuck to you at all times when it was just the two of you hanging out. That could be his chin resting on your shoulder out of nowhere, or his shoulder bumping yours when you were washing dishes, even sleeping with his foot against one of your calves when he was rolling around like a rotisserie chicken as always.

The day of, he'd go with you, seemingly cool as a cucumber. He'd crack jokes the whole time, but for someone who normally gives you space when it comes to your appointments for your privacy's sake, he'd be notably determined not to leave your side. He'd stick to you like glue everywhere he was allowed to go, and afterward, he'd drive home in the mustang with one hand on your knee (being surprisingly good at driving one-handed!). He'd make an exaggerated deal of how brave you were when you got home, peppering your face with playful "mwah" kisses, but there'd be just a little relief to it.

When you inevitably got the all-clear, he'd visibly relax as soon as he found out. "I knew it was gonna be fine," he'd say immediately, holding up a hand. "It was always gonna be fine. I just like having the official 'okay you're good,' y'know? Like... you know what I mean," he'd say, rolling his eyes at himself. But he would insist on the two of you dancing that night to celebrate if you felt up to it, either going out or just in the kitchen with his speakers.

Rora wouldn't be unconcerned, but she'd definitely be a bit less rattled than the boys. "Skin is such a fickle organ," she'd say, almost sounding irritated on your behalf. "I swear, it's the only one that needs this much manual intervention not to be a pain in the neck. You don't see your lungs needin' moisturizer, or your heart needin' retinol," she'd add, looking back down at whatever she was working on to keep her hands busy - repotting a plant, altering the hem of one of her dresses, or placing the eyes in a stuffed possum. "...Granted," she'd add after a moment. "I suppose that's because they're technically already moist. What I'm gettin' at is," she'd say, looking back up. "You don't have to worry about it, sweet pea. It's just one of those things."

But the minute you showed any sort of concern, she'd drop what she was doing, coming over to you to gently cup your face like you were made of something fragile. "Daffodil," she'd say, making a point to meet your eyes. "Nothin' bad is gonna happen. This is just an inconvenience - one more thing you have to do, like you don't have enough on your plate as is." She'd kiss the end of your nose. "The doctors will do their jobs right if they wanna keep their hands attached to their bodies, and this'll just be somethin' you need the day off for. That's all." She'd run her hand over your hair, taking you in. "I'm not gonna let anything hurt my petal, I swear.” (How she intended to fight errant skin cells was a mystery, but something in her voice made you think she might indeed have her ways.)

In the meantime, she would almost seem doggedly determined to keep the pair of you busy. Whenever you weren’t at work or occupied with one of your own projects, she would seemingly find all sorts of things for the pair of you to do: she’d surprise you with couple’s massage appointments if she thought it would be something you’d like, she’d take you to get your nails done (manicure, pedicure, or both, whatever you were most comfortable with sensory-wise), she’d abruptly decide that the pair of you definitely needed to have a picnic in the back garden, and then ask if you’d help her plant some new rose bushes. Just when you thought you’d get a moment to just sit and stew for a bit, she’d sneak up behind you and ask if your show her how a smartphone works again (despite you being pretty sure she already knew), or if you wouldn’t mind helping her take her latest taxidermies to the little market stall where she sells them. She’d not only seem to be dying to pamper you, she’d also seemingly suddenly be unable to complete any of her to-do list without you being in the near vicinity. She wouldn’t do it to the point of exhausting you, of course - she’d make sure the two of you had plenty of downtime when it was needed. But if anything, it would seem like her approach was to make sure neither of you had time to think about it, even if that did mean you were suddenly involved in your own private taxidermy masterclass one evening.

If you did voice your anxieties, Rora would make a point to freeze her hands in place with whatever she was doing and listen. That doesn’t always mean she would be staring at you — if anything, you knew that sometimes Ror was listening all the more deeply when her eyes were fixed on something else. But when you’d gotten it off your chest, she would look up at you again, her eyes oddly calm. “I don’t blame you one bit for bein’ nervous, little bee,” she’d say quietly. “But you don’t need to be, because nothin’ is gonna happen. I told you, and I intend to keep my word. So you just leave that part to me, okay?” And she’d smile that small, quiet smile that, while it was reassuring, also made you feel a little bit like she had something up her sleeve. (Which is odd in its own way, because she normally hates wearing sleeves.) But she’d be especially affectionate in the days between your diagnosis and the procedure, often hugging you soundlessly from behind, or sneaking a kiss on your cheek whenever you least expected it. When the pair of you slept, she’d fiddle with the ends of your hair until she dozed off, her other arm snugly over your waist.

Rora hates doctors for lots of reasons - partially because she saw her grandfather, her father, and now her brother deal with what she viewed as their failures, and partially because of her own experiences as a young girl with mental illness in the South when she was alive. That wouldn’t keep her from coming with you to your appointment, though, even if she had to wear a high-necked dress and a scarf over her hair in the Louisiana heat to hide her more interesting scars. No one would question the mysterious woman who followed you to the exam room, or the fact that she sat just in the corner of your eye the entire time. When the procedure was over with, she’d hold your hand the entire way out, and then immediately demand whichever of the boys she made drive you both there (probably Hector, but both if Maxi could make it) to take all of you to whatever junk food/dessert place was calling your name.

When you got the inevitable all-clear, she would beam, her smile sublime. “I told you it would all work out, petal,” she’d coo, planting lipstick kisses all over your face. Until she’d pause, leaning back. “Saves me from havin’ to harvest some doctors’ fingers, too. Thank god.” When you asked her what, exactly, she would’ve needed those for, she’d just shrug coyly with a smirk to mask. “That’s not a spell we need to cast right now, honey. Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Then the two of you would spend the entire evening doing absolutely nothing (until you took an interest in each other, that is.)

-

I hope this helps at all, babe. 🖤 If we can do anything for you, don’t hesitate to let us know! Love you lots!! 🥰 Everything is gonna be fine, you’ll see!

Rora deeply dislikes doctors for all sorts of reasons -- a bit because her grandfather, her father, and now her brother frequently dealt/deal with what she perceives as their failures, a bit because of her own experiences with them when she was alive. But she’d be determined to go to your procedure, even if she had to wear a high neck and a scarf around her hair in the heat to cover up her more unusual scars. She wouldn’t be able to drive you, but she’d get one of the guys to do it if need be, and keep her hand on your thigh the entire ride over. Oddly, the doctors wouldn’t question the mysterious woman who followed you into the exam room from the waiting room - and she’d be quietly off to the side the entire time, just out of the corner of your eye. The minute you left, she’d be holding your hand all the way to the car, and immediately demand whichever of the guys she roped into driving (likely Hector, although both would come if they could) to stop by whatever fast food/dessert place was most speaking to you at the moment. You’d spend the rest of the night doing nothing at all (until you took an interest in each other, that is).

When you got the all-clear, she would just beam. “Good. I knew that. See? You’re gonna be fine, petal.” She’d enthusiastically pepper your face with lipstick kisses, until she’d pause at one point. “Saves me from havin’ to steal a bunch of doctors’ fingers, too. Thank god, that would’ve been such a pain.” When you asked her, perhaps somewhat hesitantly, what she wanted with those, she’d just shrug. “Never you mind, my rose. We won’t be needin’ that spell after all,” she’d say, her smile positively sublime.

#maxi vibes #hector vibes #rora vibes #nice people #linds!! 🖤💛 #the morvants and their readers #morvant comfort list #reader with medical issues #reader with medical anxiety #genderqueer reader #non binary reader #morvant mortuary

[axcel-lucci]

Secret...?

Trafalgar Law x fem! reader

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, this is part 6, part 7

About 3 days passed by, it seems like Lucifer and Dice has no intention of ever making up soon...

One would literally walk out if the other enters, Lucifer would be seen walking around the manor at the dead of night, which isn't a pleasant sight...

On top of that, Dice is barely seen anymore, not even eating his own food, and Lucifer would just tell the maid to make him something even though he himself was capable and free to do so...

Just... Messy.

La wsat beside (y/n) on the bed, telling her what's going on despite knowing she may or may not hear... But he had a feeling she'd want to know at least...

The next day however, the two was arguing again.

What is it you may ask? No one knows.

The two spoke in another tongue, another language. And from the looks of it, one small thing could make them snap and jump at one another.

Luckily, both can control themselves so... They just walked in two different paths.

One out the door while the other casually jumped out of the window.

You'd know which is which...

"Does (y/n) deal with this all the time??" Law muttered, feeling sorry for his soon to be wife...

The door soon opened...

Lo and behold, (y/n) walked in with a confused look, "what the hell is with those two?? Cats and dogs? More like dragon and lion." She muttered, she held her side a bit as she closed the door behind her.

It made everyone jump at her appearance

"(Y/n)! You shouldn't be getting up! You need to rest!" Law said as he was immediately at her side

"Relax, law..." She laughed softly, "I'm fine."

"Your dad-..." He sighed and shook his head, "Dice-ya said you needed to rest, and as a doctor myself, you definitely should."

It made her pout with a huff, "I'll be fine... Jeez... Is he STILL that protective??? I'm an adult for fuck's sake..."

Law shook his head with a chuckle as he helped her sit beside him, "it's not a matter of protectiveness, even I know you should rest because your heart is still healing."

"What even happened...? I remember getting stabbed by that bag of holes."

Law hummed for a bit, before looking at the crew then back at (y/n). He told her what has happened through the time she was unconscious.

After telling her all this, her expression was... Scary.

Well... She had a blank expression while law told her, it's like she knew it was bound to happen.

"Ahh well, I knew dad would find out... But I thought they talked about it in the past." She shrugged, "still... I knew they had their disagreements, but not enough for one to jump out the window. Eh, I knew truth would haunt the both of them..."

"So... You knew this was bound to happen??" Law hummed

"Obviously. Not every relationship is a perfect one, well, I guess it's time For me to lock them in a closet... Again."

"You've... Done that before??" Shachi said, looking at her.

"How do you think they lasted??" She shrugged, "anyway... Where did they put the concoctions again...? Considering they've never once redecorated in the times I'm alive..."

"O-oh..."

She stood up and walked over to the kitchen, going to the last drawer aat the far side of the room, it was a safe, entering the code, it opened and revealed some rather shady bottles of liquid

"Heat are you trying to do? Remember, your heart is still healing" law said as she took out a small bottle of said liquid and closed the safe up.

"Just trying to make my parents locked in a room." She hummed, "it worked thrice, it'll work again."

Law hummed softly as he watched her make a drink, it looked relatively inviting... Even he would drink it.

"Come on, if he locked the door, can you hold this for me?" She smiled at him as she carried the drink to the lower parts of the manor with him following her.

"What are you going to do?" He asks again

"Eh, the usual... Don't worry, I won't kill myself in the process" she giggled as they reached a door that says "go away, Lucifer."

"Looks like it's locked... Hold it" she hands him the drink and he took said drink and she stretched a bit

She then kicked the door down, causing it to fly off its hinges.

He knew she was good at kicking things down, but not like this.

"What the-?!" Dice groaned, inside was his lab.

Big tubes on the walls, connected by smaller tubes littering the floor.

The casual "mad scientist" pack...

The two walked in as (y/n) took the drink from Law and hands it to Dice

"You're awake! Go back to bed, young lady! You need to rest!" Dice said as he took the drink

"Eh. Feeling better." She shrugs, "can you drink that? I made that in the past... I think it's quite neat."

Dice hummed and looked at the drink, inspecting it and even smelling it for any substance, "this doesn't have anything in it, does it?"

"Why the hell would I fucking poison an immortal asshole like you?" She groaned as Dice sighed in frustration

"Whatever..." He rolled his eyes and drank it, "now... You go back to bed."

She shrugs and looked at law

Dice could feel his world start to spin then realized they haven't changed the password to the safe in the kitchen, "you..."

Before Dice could even do anything, he collapsed to the floor.

Both from exhaustion and the drink

She rolled her sleeves up and picked him up in her arms

...

"Can you distract him for me?" (Y/n) asked as they stood outside of Lucifer's office.

"How the hell am I supposed to distract a man like him?!" Law was taken a back.

Distract that man?? That man's more serious than him!

"Just... Ask him Sora questions. I'm sure you're good at that, yeah?" She smiled at him, "you can do it"

"Sora...?"

"Yeah. He's been here since the creation of man, one of his favourite things to do is read the Sora, warrior of the sea series..."

Law swallowed thickly and nodded, "alright..."

He knocked on the door as Lucifer opened the door and let him in, "you need anything?" He asks as he went back to his desk.

"(Y/n) mentioned you also read Sora?" He smirked when Lucifer perked up and immediately snapped at him

"You know the story too?!" Lucifer excitedly gasped.

"Yeah... It's a big hit at-"

"North blue, right?? The creator is a national at north blue, so only the ones who grew in north blue knew of it, but I heard the east blue also knows?? I'm not sure."

Law chuckled as he nodded

Lucifer then went on a cute little rant about in depth look at some characters, even the background characters law didn't care about until now.

"Honestly, what was germa thinking, attacking Sora like that at volume 40.3... right??"

"Yeah... It still kinda irks me that German thinks they could corner Sora like that..." Law hummed before seeing (y/n) hit Lucifer with a metal bat, making him immediately knocked out, "holy shit... (Y/n)!"

"Relax, he's a demon... He won't wake up any time soon" she hummed.

....

Throwing Lucifer inside a closet with Dice all tied up in one corner

"(Y/n)... Get me out of these." He growled

"Ask him" she pointed at Lucifer as she held the door, "make out. I don't care if you do it literally or metaphorically. You're killing yourselves." She rolled her eyes and went to close the door

"Didn't know you cared so much." Dice smirked darkly, still swallowed by anger and frustration

"I'm sure you'll thank me." She huffed and slammed the door shut, locking it.

"How are they gonna get out?" Shachi asked

(Y/n) placed the key on the nearby drawer, "they'll find a way. They always does." She hummed with a shrug and started walking off

"So uhm..." Bepo muttered, "what... Happened? Between you three..."

Everyone swallowed thickly when she paused and stood there with her back towards them, a tense atmosphere surrounding (y/n)

She sighed, relieving herself a bit.

"I guess I do owe you an explanation..."

...

She sighed deeply, looking at her hands...

It was eerily quiet around the table, other than the occasional windows creaking and the birds outside... As well as the wind howling as the night approaches.

Law noticed how tense she was and held her hand firmly making her look at him, "take your time... You don't have to tell us everything." He smiled making her smile as well

"Thanks... But I know I need to take it out someday..." She sighed deeply.

He nods and held her hand tighter, "just know that whatever your past is... I'll always love you" he smiled again

She laughed softly, "I... Thank you..." She sighed again but this time with a determined look on her face, "well..."

Law only held her hand as she breathes to calm her still healing heart.

"I grew up here, I'm sure you know. Growing up... I've never left this manor. Well, at least not without my parents... I mean I understand, people used to call me a 'beautiful child' for some reason... And they're pretty protective..." She muttered, "but... I did grow up alright, even without anyone but the maids, butlers, my parents, and sometimes my parents' workers on some occasions... Though... Dad is always down at his lab, I think I only see him during meals and maybe a whole day once a month. I wouldn't blame him though, he's pretty busy. And besides, father is always there, so it's hardly lonely around here."

"Also... Let's just say father taught me some... Wacky things, at first it was how to escape seastone prism, but it slowly grew to things like how to control my alcohol intake as well as dodging some shady things like party drugs... It was pretty useful now. Cause... You know... I'm a girl?" She shrugged

"But how...?" Ikkaku muttered, "he said he taught you stuff like drugs and weed... Like... How were you able to control them?"

"Ah... The thing is, father never raised me as a girl, but he raised me as a child. No gender... So... He'd literally hit me at the back of the head as a lesson... I can still remember the first time he did it, I don't hate him for that. It wasn't even that hard, just a 'gentle' hit that made me spill everything." She shrugged, "though... Dad wasn't too fond of him doing that, so he just pinches my cheek instead..."

"I mean... Does it hurt?"

"Want me to hit you at the back of the head right now?" she muttered before shaking her head, "the thing is... He taught me things I still use. Like the things I just said, controlling my liquor and resistance to drugs, as well as the scent of poison and how to hold a gun. He taught me all sorts of things. I joined the gang when I was 15... And almost immediately, father placed me right beside him since dad was the gang's medical and scientific lead..."

"Eh? That's... So young..."

"I worked for him as a spy, I've never really had blood on my hands because father forbade me from ever entering any possible messes, so I was never really... Killed anyone." She shrugged, "that's when you guys came in... Father heard news of an ope-ope no mi user is a pirate, so... As usual, he sent me as a spy."

"You spied on us?!" The crew gasped, Law remains unmoved and listened intently

"I know... But... At first I thought you guys were just some wacky group... I guess one would grow too attached and... I... Failed to serve my purpose... Father saw it coming... So he had me retreat..." She mumbled

"But... Why didn't you?" Law asked as she looked down then at him

It was enough to say such words that even the crew was silent and knew what she meant, he then placed a hand on her cheek and caressed it lovingly, "then...? What happened?"

"Father called... He told me to come back... Or not come back at all... He made me choose between family or... You... I guess it made me mad and cursed him..." She muttered and rubbed the back of her neck, " I told him that in no circumstance will I ever want to see him... That... He was no longer my father... Even he said that I was no longer his child... I... I knew he says such irrational things when mad... But..."

Law hummed and hugged her tightly, she didn't even notice she started crying until she felt his shirt dampen with hot tears from her...

"It's okay... It's going to be okay..." He mumbled and pulled her into his lap.

"And yet... Here I am... Childhood home... With the same people..." She mumbled as her voice started to tremble, "and father... It's like what he said didn't matter... It's like he hadn't said it at all... But I guess I did kinda start it..."

______

@jadedrrose finally putting the idea you have! I thought I couldn't put it in there 😬😬

#random #night thoughts #trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x y/n #one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar law smut #trafalgar d law #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar law x reader smut #trafalgardwaterlaw #law smut #law x reader smut #law x you #one piece law #law

[fairycosmos]

i wanna go to the doctor to get help but the thought of having to explain to someone in front of me what's happening and what i'm feeling and like having to open up like that verbalizing some real deep shit paralyzes me, i don't know if i can do that, do you have any advice on this? thank you Chloe

hello lovely. im so sorry to hear you're struggling with this but i also think it's wonderful that you want to reach out in the first place! i think that in and of itself is progress, and a great sign. that being said, i totally understand your trepidation and i think to an extent it's normal - nobody likes having to be vulnerable in such a clinical way, nobody ever knows what to say or how to say it perfectly. it's completely OK to feel and acknowledge that fear, to let it be there without dictating your actions (which is something that takes practice, so don't worry if it's hard.) anyway, the first thing that came to mind when i read your message was the need to reassure you that most doctors and health professionals are more than willing to work with you and to move at the pace you want to take things at. you don't have to spill it all out or go into grave detail at your first appointment (though it's ok if you do ofc.) most doctors are used to working with patients like this - it's alright to keep your answers general/shorter as long as they are still honest and as long as they get your main concerns across. you don't have to bare your soul in order to have a productive appointment, and if you need to build up a bit of a rapport with your doctor before you feel comfortable getting into the meat of the issue, that's honestly alright. you can stay in contact and build a care plan moving forward if you don't get everything out in one session, especially if youre honest with them about your nervousness from the get-go. another thing i wanted to suggest was writing down what you want to say beforehand. this really helps with the emotional paralysis for me, getting it down on paper so it's easier to communicate out loud when the time comes. i know that might feel a bit silly, but i think it could help take some of the self-imposed pressure you're feeling off. if you can just bullet point what you want to discuss, maybe it'll feel easier and less daunting to verbalise. and finally, this sounds obvious, but i think taking along someone you trust could really help with the nerves here - even if they just come with you to the waiting room. having someone to rely on and to distract you a little works wonders, and i promise that's it's not a problem to ask someone around you if they would accompany you. im sure you would do it for them, so let them be a friend to you too. anyway, i hate that you have to deal with this and i know words of advice never really put dent in the anxiety in situations like this, but i just wanted to offer some ideas and also some understanding. it took me a long time to be able to talk to health professionals honestly, in fact i often still find it hard, and i think that's a pretty common experience honestly. the build-up to the appointment is always always always worse than the actual one though, for real. your mind is in overdrive imagining all the ways it could possibly go wrong, all the reasons you feel you shouldn't be reaching out, and then you get there and it's just a conversation. a hard one, but not as life-or-death as it felt beforehand. you know? i hope with time you're able to come around to the idea of trying to make an appointment, or at least showing yourself some compassion until you're able to get to that point. sending a massive hug your way ❤️

#anon #🫂🫂

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

yo..if you're the professor....can i be your struggling student 🤨🤨 can we schedule an after class tutoring session....🤨🤨

I HOPE I'M DOING AN ALRIGHT JOB AT MAKING YOU FEEL BETTER??? and thank YOU for talking to me ilysm

I SLEPT ALRIGHT BUT I WOKE UP BECAUSE MY DUMBASS CAT DECIDED THAT MY CHEST WAS A GREAT PLACE TO MAKE BISCUITS ON (???)

okay woozi liking ari, bruno, and justin is VERY k-idol of him... but nasty is a diff level. bro is actually secretly v horny and you cant convince me otherwise.... you're doing detective level work brie thank you for bringing me this info 😂 truly an imaginer...

NOOO A FOREST VENUE ISN'T LAME WTF THAT'S SO MAGICAL UR RIGHT!!!! okay but wouldn't a wedding in the snow be SO cold LMAOOOO the bridesmaids would need parkas or something smh

I'M GLAD I INTRODUCED YOU TO A MEME THAT MADE YOU LAUGH PLS LAUGH MORE, YOU DESERVE IT

and I'VE HEARD OF GG I'VE JUST NEVER READ IT... from where i am it's pretty popular...

OH MY GOD ZACHARY GOODE SOUNDS SO COOL AND PERFECT WTF....WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?? LIKE HOW DID THE AUTHORS DESCRIBE HIM

why does netflix always take the best shows off bro....i haven't finished bloodhounds yet and istg if they take it off before i finish i'm actually going to riot... BUT THANK YOU!! I WILL WATCH DOCTOR WHO AND SUPERNATURAL WHEN I GET MY SCHOOLWORK DONE LMAOOOO

wait...will supernatural ever do a con wherever you are?? like if it's a show based in the US then surely they would do something there.. (im assuming ur from the US but if you're not then sorry..)

THANK YOU FOR REINFORCING MY IDEA HJGHWJKGHK I WAS SO NERVOUS SENDING THAT ASK I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN SHAKINH😭😭

no but he just responded....HE IS ANNOYING THANK YOU. WHY CAN'T I APPRECIATE MY GUY FRIEND IN PEACE. like when he responds he always gives me like a slightly flirty/playful answer but it's either REALLY later (like 6+ hours) or like right away. no inbetween. the most he's waited before texting me is 1 day, but if we count the days where he left me on read, then like 3. like wtf. AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING LGOIWJGWOIGJ I WILL DEFINITELY UPDATE YOU IF ANYTHING HAPPENS <33 im scared that people get annoyed when i talk about it SO PLS TELL ME IF IT'S TOO MUCH

also that's one hell of a story....how are you dealing with this so well??? i would've just quit and moved to another city LMAOOO

ben being a capricorn is so funny because every capricorn i've met has been like him...okay but wtf. he cheated on his (ex)gf with a FRESHLY 18 YR OLD??? see, usually you have to see how people you're friends with act around other people, but how tf is he gonna act all dandy with you (and other friends) but then do that to his gf??? he's fishy man...be careful

are blake and nam an item or are they just friends?? and how weird is WEIRD for a group of friends...as in like- you guys are all an odd pairing or are you guys just silly billys 😋😋

and wtf?? leaving emilee after she planned the hangout?? that is really shitty..

i'm sorry that you're feeling depressed man :(( i can't do much more than just be rlly supportive but just know that heart palpitations anon believes in you!! you're not annoying for being excited (which is completely human), so don't forget that!!!

i'm responding as i read rn but like....rachel and sophia do seem like....a little bit of a problem... SORRY IF THIS IS COMPLETELY UNSOLICITED AND OUT OF LEFT FIELD BUT LIKE....THEY'RE DOING ALL THAT FOR WHAT. sounds like a power trip to ME

maybe people aren't mad at you??? no offense girlie, but it sounds like they all have their own problems that they're dealing with by taking their frustrations out on you and the people around you..and can you leave your psychiatrist?? i mean if it's not working for you, surely there can be ways around it right? my friend has SUPER bad anxiety, and they got rebellious and stopped taking their high dosage meds and they literally said that was the first time in ~4 years that they truly felt alive, so maybe it'll help you??

you are NOT a narcissist girlie...this is exactly the type of stuff you would discuss with a therapist, and since you can't find one, you talk to your friends abt it!! it's totally normal, especially when you're in THIS many stressful situations!! you're SO normal and honestly, if i were you, i'd cry a lot too, so you're actually doing great brie. like genuinely, you're so strong

hey,, if you're gonna reject someone, make sure you guys aren't ever alone together in case they get violent :( stay safe!!

IT'S NOT FAIR THAT THEY'RE MAD AT YOU??? if they get jealous or weirded out because you're having a good time with a 'weird' group of friends, then it's not your problem atp...but if all of them are kiiiinda shitty people, then i could see why they think its weird. if they're nice people, then it's rachel and sophia's problem!!

I'M ALWAYS OPEN TO HEARING U TALK ABOUT ANYTHING STRESSFUL!!! pls go ahead and talk about yourself because it's obvious that no one else wants to listen to you :(

you didn't go overboard!! let it all out girlie i love people that explain everything because i am NOSY

remember, if you talk to someone who likes to get tired of people, don't chase them ;( i know it hurts a lot, especially if you literally love them, but if they truly valued you, they wouldn't just...up and leave, ykwim? its like manifesting stuff ig? if it's not meant for you, then it's not. if it is, then it is!! you gotta win the idgaf war brie 😤😤

-lots of support from 🫨 anon <3

Of course omg Office Hours once a week at 2:00am :)

YOU ARE ALWAYS THANK YOU ILYSM2

NOT TO BE ON YOUR CATS SIDE BUT I WOULD BE SO TICKLED IF MY CAT WOKE ME UP LIKE THAT THATS SO CUTE

OKAY I'M SO GLAD YOU GET IT PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE IM DUMB WHEN I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO THEM LIKE I ANALYZE HIS PLAYLISTS I'M OBSESSED. THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING AND UNDERSTANDING MY OBSESSION

OKAY IT WOULD BE COLD BUT ALSO MAGICAL HAHA YOU ARE RIGHT THOUGH HAHA I HADN'T ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

YOU DESERVE IT I HOPE I MAKE YOU LAUGH TOO YOUVE HEARD OF IT???? ITS POPULAR WHERE YOU COME FROM THAT'S CRAZY WHAT THE FUCK UHM DARK BROWN HAIR AND GREEN EYES IF I REMEMBER ACCURATELY!!

NO LITERALLY bout to be really mad at netflix I think they just removed my favorite cdrama too

SUPERNATURAL USED TO DO CONS IN THE US YEAH BUT SINCE IT ENDED THEY HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THEM AS MUCH and I was in highschool at the crux of them doing cons and so I never got to go cause who was gonna take me you know.

IM SORRY YOU WERE NERVOUS HAHA DONT BE NERVOUS SENDING ASKS

BOOOOOO YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO APPRECIATE YOUR GUY FRIEND AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK he should respond more often... THREE DAYS ON READ IS TOO MUCH. I WILL TELL YOU IF I GET ANNOYED BUT ALSO I WONT GET ANNOYED

please don't say that i want to quit and move to another city SO BADLY it's my first INSTINCT IM SO SERIOUS I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS

ALSO OH MY GOD I FORGOT I TOLD YOU EVERY SINGLE DETAIL

HE IS FISHY THOUGH I AGREE.... DONT WORRY THOUGH I am always cautious with him

THEYRE JUST FRIENDS HAHA AND THEYRE BOTH RLLY STRAIGHT AND BLAKE IS IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE HOW

and we are all an odd pairing! like no one at work would be like yeah those people should and do hang out cause why would we

RIGHT IT WAS SO SHITTY

thank youuuu

I THINK IM THE PROBLEM they are very intune with their emotions and healthy and adult and I'm still silly brie who cries over fanfictions, makes friends with toxic people, and makes mean jokes

I WOULD LEAVE HIM BUT I LIKE HIM EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE HIM I actually go crazy without my medicine. the last time I wasn't on meds for my mania I didn't sleep for like three days straight, I ALSO can't sleep without my sleep meds, and I went without my anxiety meds for two weeks and was basically unable to do anything it was BAD BUT ONCE I GET OUT OF SCHOOL AND MOVE ILL BE SO MUCH LESS STRESSED SO

i am a litttllleee bit of a narcissist BUT THANK YOU

and i didn't reject him. I still need to. I am leading him on AHHHH

THANK YOU FOR READING ALL OF THAT CAUSE OH MY GOD WHY DID I GENUINELY DROP EVERY DETAIL (I was not on my anxiety meds) you're rightttt though you're righttttt I WILL DO MY BEST TO WIN THE IDGAF WAR THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT

#YOURE SO NICE OH MY GOD THANK YOU HAHA #IM SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONG #I MISSED YOU TF

[genderqueerdykes]

hey so I've had a lot of realisations regarding my gender recently and I needed somewhere to get them out, you seem very kind so I hope you don't mind. your blog has been very comforting since I found it.

so I'm a transmasc enby and have just recently realised I want to go on T. it took me a while to get the courage to book an appointment with my doctor but I finally did.

but then I got covid and had to cancel the appointment while I isolated. now I don't know when I'll be able to get a new time between work stuff.

on one hand I'm really frustrated it took me a while to actually get an appointment and then I immediately lost it because of bad timing. however, because of it I was able to reinforce to myself how much this means to me and how badly I truly want to get hormone treatment.

I had a lil breakdown but I also got to quiet my imposter syndrome cause I know a cis person wouldn't react this way to not being able to get hormones. I know with all my heart and soul that I'm not faking this but I hate that I needed it taken away from me to 100% realise that.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you do. I hope you're doing well, im trying my best to keep up the positive vibes.

im very sorry to hear that so many things happened and you ended up having a breakdown, but i don't blame you one bit. i get that though. i think sometimes it's almost kind of crucial to have that moment where you realize, you know what this IS what's right for me and it is important to me. it's so common in our experience to doubt and question ourselves, and often times that doubt is very strong. it doesn't make it right, though. i'm glad you were able to kind of have that lightbulb moment where you realized yes, this is important to me and yes i need this for my health.

i'm sorry that things are so complicated right now and it looks like your appointment will be postponed for a while. that's a very hard thing to deal with, it'll will be worth the wait. if possible, try to do other things for yourself in the meantime that help you feel more like yourself if you're able to. maybe get a few shirts that make you feel more like you, or something to that effect. little acts of self care go a long way

i hope you're able to get it sorted out. take care of yourself in the mean time, you deserve to go on T, I hope the fight isn't much longer. stay safe

#asks #answers

[xxxtwilightaxelxxx]

I dont know why this year is being so fucking cruel to me, after everything I experience last year with my arthritis flaring up so much. And recently my left ear being blocked which was suctioned but it's still ringing but now I think my right ear is ringing and I just fucking can't deal with this. And I'm so fucking alone like my mum was able to spare 5 min for a hug this morning but it felt empty and I had a 30 min call with my dad yesterday over it. I'm gonna call the doctors in a bit when it opens to see if hopefully there is a on day appointment in the morning before work, because I need help.

I need advice whether I can be referred to an audiologist, or get a hearing test, an mri, fuck hearing aids!! Anything I just can't wait months that hopefully it'll go away, I can't sleep and my anxiety is so high and all I want is a fucking warm hug that will cure it all.

Fuck my life right now

#xxxtwilightaxelxxx blogs #personal

[pigeonfancier]

Health health health, probably going to be griping about shit until.. January or so, at the earliest. But hopefully not after!

Current state of the Mar:

Have to call my doctor and shriek at him. I love shrieking at medical practictioners! This is definitely my favorite thing! And I feel bad, because everyone's overworked, his practice is currently understaffed, everyone's tired and every doctor has endless kids coming in right now with RSV and the flu and fucking covid right now, but it takes five minutes.

I'm going to have to do an EKG and a fucking. Chest monitor that I wear for several days? Apparently, no one wants me to do a stress test, because everyone keeps reminding me of the "sudden heart failure" risk of anything that gets my heart amped up. Except the cardiologist may have me do a stress test! Except I'm not supposed to let the cardiologist have me do a stress test, because as it's been emphasized heavily to me, risk of sudden heart failure. Great! Love it. Definitely not stressful.

So, ofc, my mother has surgery in December! Minor surgery, on the 22nd, but it'll involve hanging out with her all day at the hospital. Which is fine, and it should be minor, and I'm not flipping out too much, except -

She is now stressed! Which she can and she should be, surgery sucks and is scary! But that means she keeps trying to make it my problem that she's stressed! Which is managable in just not letting her make it my problem, but I do not need her flip-flopping between that insurance may not cover this for her (it will - if it does not, we will pay for it - her not getting surgery is not on the table), and between to dismiss my cardiac issues (whatever, lifelong thing, I am great at ignoring!), and between trying to start fights with my father, my sister, random strangers, and probably her own fucking shadow (the solution to which is Just Fucking Ignoring It).

But even ignoring, the combo of her having to get surgery + more analysis, of me having to deal with all this medical shit on my end and this stupid fucking medical system, my general absolute dislike of Christmas/Thanksgiving as concepts, and Even More Fun And Feisty Facts - the combo of all of that has my heart kicking off like it is a four year old who's bee give a drum and a drumstick for the first time in their life, and they are determined to beat it until it fucking breaks.

And cardiac pain is pretty normal for me! I have it.. probably four or so days out of a week, on-and-off, and have since I was a kid. It does not really bother me or strike me as noteworthy. I have been informed all of my life that it's probably normal and fine, don't worry about it.

Except now medical practictioners keep telling me that it could be a sign of sudden cardiac failure.

And NOW IT'S KIND OF BOTHERING ME. FOR SOME REASON. Because I am young and bold and this is very normalised to me, so I'm not very worried about it in reality? But I do not appreciate looking at very severe chest pain days that I've had before, and having to go: huh, what, was that me getting lucky and just straining some bit, instead of fucking snapping it?

Getting some tea and redirecting this anxiety, because frothing like an overboiling pot over any of this is helping exactly no one, but MAN.

#the mysterious fainting waif disease #my sister is a darling and is willing to call and shout at my doctor for me #hurrah for familial support systems! #but currently just feeling slightly feral over everything and anything ever #so shrieking like a teapot so I can resume the slow and steady boil

[pbandjesse]

We just got back from having some drinks and sn as cks at the Guinness brewery. It was a nice way to end the day!! I had a good day today. I am very tired but it was a nice day.

I am getting to the point where I miss work though. I like two or three days off. But even though I worked Wednesday I have been home a lot. And I know there is stuff to do but it's hard to have all this time and not enough direction.

I slept okay last night. I woke up a few times but it wasn't the worst sleep. I slept until 9. I missed James when I woke up for real. And I was sad because they sent me a text saying they were hurting and miss being able to sleep and I feel bad. I don't know how to help. I am encouraging them to be honest and frank with the doctor on Tuesday. I really hope they take them seriously.

I had to deal with some phone calls about the new medication I'm going to be taking. I am still going on Monday and getting the first injection so that's exciting. Also scary. The chemo pills have been upsetting my stomach I think. I have been keeping notes. But it's just one of those things that it's hard to tell what's doing what. Like I always don't feel great so it's hard to decide what is causing what. At least there is progress.

I spoke to my dad for a little. And then got up for real.

I got washed and dressed and was a little uncomfy. But that was okay. I ended up making myself a quesadilla while I made a batch of cookies. I was having a nice morning.

I cleaned the fish tank and the frog tank more. I did partial water changes on both. The frog tank's substrate could still use some more vacuuming I think but we made great progress. It was a lot of work honestly. Lugging buckets back and forth. But it needed to be done.

I decided I could go for a walk. I want to try to move more and I am going to challenge myself to walk around the block every other day at least. Like I don't know if this is an actual challenge I am giving myself. But it's a goal at least. I think it'll help me feel better in the long run.

I saw Mr Will when I got down there so I went back up and got the cookie box for him. And we chatted for a minute. He was replacing our front door lock because poor Nick got mugged. And they took his keys and so just in case he was replacing the lock. I would see Nick later snd he was all red eyed. I felt terrible. I'm glad he is safe, even if they took his things. It apparently happened at 745 last night. Like right after James went to put the recycling in the back. So it is just really scary.

I had brought a watermelon drink with me on my walk. I had a podcast to listen too. And it was a nice walk. I did get overheated pretty fast and regretted bringing my coat. But I had a nice walk. I walked for about 40 minutes.

And once I got home I laid on the couch because I was very tired.

Me and Sweetp laid together for a while. I was trapped. But once he got up I went and made a late lunch. I baked the fries I got at the store yesterday. And some veggie chicken nuggets. It was an excellent meal.

While I was eating Mr Will knocked on the door. And he had a new key for me. And I would end up holding onto the rest of the keys so that our neighbors could come get them from me. But it ended up not being needed as they were mostly around already. The new key is gold.

I caught up on my knitting and I cannot believe tomorrow is the last day. I am so excited to be done. Tomorrow I will have three lines. The last day and then the month lines. And then it comes off the loom!!! I'm so excited. I can't believe it.

James got home and asked if I wanted to go to the Guinness brewery to hang out with Conner and his wife before they left to go back to St Louis. And I said sure.

But it wasn't for a while. So I could just chill in bed for a bit. And James had a snack. And soon enough I was getting dressed again and fixing my makeup and we were off.

I had never been to the brewery but I'd like to go back and do a tour. It was interesting. I got a sprite. And it was Conner and his wife and siblings and their friends. It was a nice time. Eventually we got a table and we got big pretzels and cheese and some other bar foods. The table was a big large and it was hard to talk to the people on the other side but I enjoyed talking to Conner and I had a good time.

James knocked my water over and got their phone a little wet but it seems fine now. I was mostly just having fun looking around. I wanted to look more but I didn't want to wander.

I do love the Guinness tucan. I thought he was a submarine but I know realize he's balancing two pints. Adorable.

It was a really nice night. Conner and his wife had to go to the airport. So we walked out with them and said goodbye. There were some hugs. It was really nice.

We got home and James was very sore. We had some troubling finding a parking space but we got home and got up here. I took a shower and James started trying to get cozy.

I washed my hair and now I'm getting ready to go dry it. I hope I don't disturb James. They have fallen asleep. They look so sweet. I love them so very much.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year. I can't believe it!! I am planning on doing a no buy January. I wrote up rules and stuff for myself. So tomorrow I need to get the yarn I need for my next blanket. I'm excited. I am sad Jess isn't here to do it with me but it will be okay. I hope the last day of the year is beautiful. For you all as well.

Goodnight everyone. Take care of yourselves!! Sleep well!!

[wildegeist]

Sorta personal log but it's nothing grim, don't worry. ♥️ I'm just having thoughts and emotions and I'm feeling comfortable to be open today, but I'm cutting out grisly details because this is an optimistic post.

As 2022 draws to a close I feel really strange. It's been a mixed bag of a year. On one hand I've made positive changes, on the other hand my luck is still kinda bad and there's a few things I could have done without, but whatever, you know?

2021 broke me. IYKYK. I don't even remember a lot of it that clearly because it was so stressful I think my brain just kinda purged it lol. The bad luck was unrelenting and it left me emotionally numb and tired by the end. I barely had the energy for people and when I forced myself to be around them, I was just kind of frustrated all the time, so I became distant. I don't even like thinking about the year so I'm gonna cut it off there. Again, anyone who knows me knows... it was *bad.* Hell Year lmao

Start of 2022 I tried to fight back for my optimism again, because some... of the things I was dealing with in 2021 came to an end alongside the year. (IYKYK.) There was a huge-ass shift in my personality that happened around the end of 2021 that makes me feel like a different person. I was dealing with so much bottled up stress and anger, and this year after the shift, it's... hard for me to feel things like anger much anymore. I just dealt with so much that year it forced a change I guess. Pessimism is exhausting and I hate it, and apathy is shitty and empty, so I started doing stuff to fix myself. Went back to therapy to figure out what my growing issues were (and I did get my answer), saw an eye doctor and figured out I do in fact need glasses and was just in denial, started eating and sleeping better, became more mentally stable and capable, you know, healing shit. (Therapy has helped greatly btw. I dissociate way less often these days and I still feel shitty sometimes, but it's not as overwhelming.) The year hasn't been perfect or kind necessarily, but... like, it'll be ok in the end. Always is.

In other words, I'm tired of going ape shitt, I just wanna be nice. I don't have the time or energy to feel stuff like hatred or pettiness anymore, when I feel anger it never lasts all that long (anger is a parasitic emotion to me and I hate it because it makes me feel tired and disgusting), and I've kinda rediscovered my love of humans.

Like holy shit, I'm surrounded by love and wonderful people and that's actually so cool. I have really bad luck and it's something I've kinda gotten used to, I have really bad trust issues because I've dealt with a lot of people who hurt me and damaged me badly (I'm easy to manipulate, but I'm fixing that!), but the people here and around me now, I'm grateful for them. I want to tell the voice of my trust issues in my head to fuck off and let me enjoy them. It's hard to do that but I'm trying. It's hard for me to express these feelings because anyone who knows me knows I'm simply not good at showing my feelings in the ways most humans do, but those who really are close to me respect me and understand that about me. And I love them for it. I want to reconnect with people and strengthen and maintain the connections I have, even if social things are difficult for me.

I'm so thankful to have the people who just like me for me. Who *actually* respect me, who *actually* treat me as a person. Life can suck but these people make it worth it, I'm enjoying experiencing hope again.

Humanity is so cool. I'm not going to let a few outliers trick me into thinking it's not.

Sorry if this is out of the blue and disorganized, I just want to gush a bit.

#personal entry #wildemusings #idk i just feel weird... and among my weird feelings are nice ones #i like focusing on the nice ones

[believerindaydreams]

Ok so the Doctor Who/FNV crossover doesn't work, but here I am posting the abandoned start anyway.

(I can't easily transfer it to A03 unless I post it, so...)

"Sarah. Did somebody shoot me in the head?"

The Doctor's aware this is a ludicrous question. There's fresh blood all over his scarf and he's only just managing to rein in an urgent need to regenerate, to heal completely by taking an entirely new form. Which might be necessary before this is all over, but for goodness sake: they've only been in the Mojave for ten minutes.

(There's something more to it than that, but it would require concentration, meditation, to realise what and right now he's much too busy staying alive.)

Anyhow the question makes his companion burst out laughing, in a slightly hysterical fashion. Point to him.

"It was a Dalek, I'm sure of it. The moment it saw us it shot at you, and then we dragged you into this gas station. I barricaded the door best I could."

"That won't keep a Dalek out very long."

"I do wish you wouldn't talk," Harry says, gently pressing down a stethoscope. "I mean, you're in shock and all that."

"I quite frequently talk when I'm in shock- Sarah, wouldn't you agree?"

"He does like to babble," Sarah agrees. "I've found another of those super-stim things, do you want it?"

"Absolutely." Harry grabs it, slaps it down. The Doctor's vision blurs for a moment; when it clears he feels normal enough, if a trifle faint.

"Ah, that seems to have done the trick. Look, Sarah, it's all healed over now."

"That's impossible, isn't it? I mean, wounds don't just disappear like that."

The Doctor pushes himself upright, huffily. "What was that you just injected?"

"I've no idea," Harry confesses. "It was in a syringe and looked a bit medical, so I took a chance."

"Took a chance? Is that your idea of treatment?"

"I mean, you were dying," Harry says reasonably. "Listen, I know we were going to rush off and go deal with these Daleks right away, but perhaps-"

"That's still the plan." The Doctor struggles to his feet, making it all of two steps towards the door before passing out.

"I do so hate it when he does that," Sarah says.

*****

Her name is Sunny Smiles; she has a dog and a good collection of guns and a soft spot for strangers. Not that Goodsprings gets many these days.

"My friends and I are new to the area," Sarah says, stroking Cheyenne. Anybody who the mongrel likes is automatically in Sunny's good books. "Those pepperpot things, they're quite scary. One of them shot my friend."

"They're like that," Sunny agrees, putting down her binoculars. "Anyone who's the slightest bit mutated, it'll go after...we don't like it any more than you do."

"Why don't you get rid of it, then?"

"Have you ever tried killing a Dalek? It's not so easy as all that."

The young woman sets her mouth at a stubborn angle. "I've seen it done- I've helped, too. Nothing's unstoppable."

"Of course not," Sunny says affably. "A bazooka would probably do it, if you have one lying around."

"Er, no."

"Grenades? EMP pulser? Mini-nuke?"

"We don't even have a gun. Our...well, someone took our usual transport and we don't have any supplies right now. That's a different problem."

Sunny whistles, slightly startling the dog. "Well, I can't leave you stuck in the Mojave with no way to defend yourself. Think you could use my old varmint rifle?"

"My aunt taught me how to shoot," Sarah says, a bit wryly. "Though pheasants aren't quite in the same category."

"What's a pheasant?"

"Oh. Small placid little bird. Like a chicken."

"...what's a chicken?"

*****

It's well past sunset and into moonrise before Sarah comes back to the gas station, much to Harry's relief.

"You did say you were just going to head down to that saloon and say hello," he points out.

"I know, I know, but one thing kept leading to another. Better take this, you know the Doctor won't- how is he?"

"Recovering nicely, as far as I can tell." Harry turns the 9mm over in his hands, somewhat ruefully. It's been a few years since he's bothered with range practice, and even then he hadn't been especially good at it. "Asleep most of the day, which is all to the good. So what did keep you?"

"Making friends and asking questions. We're in a town called Goodsprings, not so very far away from where we need to be as the crow flies, but the route is practically impassable. Apparently there's these monsters called deathclaws that you can't reason with and you can't shoot, they'll just eat you. The town guard suggested we take the long way around- look, I have a map- it'll be much safer this way."

"The Doctor won't like that very much. He seems to think time is of the essence."

"Well, the Time Lords should have given us more time then. And the guard, her name's Sunny, she showed me around a bit and what's safe to eat, things like that. That's another reason to go south, we can take some water with us and make a few caps."

"Caps?"

"It's the local currency," Sarah says, drawing a jingling string from her pocket. "I've no idea why."

#fourth doctor #doctor who #fallout new vegas